Latest / Session Zero Heroes | TTRPG Actual Play Adventures & Improv Storytelling / Criminals of Isla Numus - Episode 21 - Obstruction of Justice

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Criminals of Isla Numus - Episode 21 - Obstruction of Justice · Session Zero Heroes | TTRPG Actual Play Adventures & Improv Storytelling

0:10
>> Skylar: Hello, weary traveler. I'm not sure what
0:13
strange magic must have brought you here, but you have
0:16
stepped into a realm of my creation. A,
0:19
ah, sprawling city filled with danger and
0:21
glory, and most importantly, lots of
0:24
gold. I call it Isan
0:27
Numis. Who am I, you might ask?
0:29
The name is Jarim, and I'm the patron
0:32
deity of gambling. Long story
0:35
short, this group of idiots, or as
0:38
you may call them, heroes, made a bet with me that
0:41
they had what it took to make a mass trove of gold,
0:44
but left some.
0:45
>> Skylar: Of the key details blank.
0:47
>> Skylar: So I filled them in myself. I sent
0:50
them to this pocket dimension into the city I
0:53
had created with brand new bodies they'd
0:56
have to attune to.
0:57
>> Skylar: Can these fools pass my test, or.
1:00
>> Skylar: Will they be trapped here forever? So experience my
1:03
world of trials and tribulations and
1:06
join alongside this posse of pitiful
1:08
people, or as I like to call them, the
1:11
criminals of Isan Numis.
1:15
>> Skylar: Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of the Session Zero
1:18
Heroes podcast, where we play
1:20
Dungeons and Dragons. Allegedly. Yeah, I
1:23
know, right? Sometimes we just run around and make up stories
1:26
about people causing
1:28
injustice through the justice system.
1:32
And that's what we're going to continue doing today as we
1:34
jump back into how things were with you
1:37
guys, trying to manipulate the court
1:40
case about to take place
1:42
for your old friend, Feather McGregor. speaking of
1:45
which, with me today, we've got Dave
1:48
playing Machi. we got Quinn playing Little
1:51
Sauce, also sometimes, but very
1:54
rarely known as Feather McGregor. across me, we got
1:57
Jackson.
1:57
>> Cameron: He's playing D. That's right.
2:00
>> Skylar: to my left, we got Cameron, who is playing
2:02
Roik, who is the only goblin. And then
2:05
finally, we've got Fatty Lumpkins, who is
2:08
playing kto. and he is our only
2:11
Cobalt in the group. So very
2:13
exciting. Let's just jump right in.
2:21
All right, we're back. And today we've got
2:24
specifically, Cameron and Jackson, who
2:27
are focusing on for this episode
2:30
because, the rest of the group had one whole
2:33
day where they went out and they just
2:35
absolutely decimated people's mouths
2:38
in a morgue, which is a very strange thing to
2:41
say.
2:42
>> Cameron: You should clarify what we did with their mouths, because that could be
2:44
taken wrongly.
2:46
>> Skylar: That's a fair point. You literally broke the lower
2:49
jaws off of the mouths of
2:52
the deceased.
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>> Cameron: In unmentionable ways.
2:54
>> Skylar: In unmentionable ways. So with that, we're gonna jump
2:57
over to Jackson. Jackson, what
3:00
is Des's plans for today? What is
3:02
his activity that he's going to do to help with
3:05
this court case?
3:06
>> Cameron: Des, in his own mind, is
3:09
planning to burn down
3:12
will steamway carriages.
3:14
>> Skylar: Oh.
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>> Cameron: Which is where they are holding the carriage that's used as
3:18
evidence.
3:18
>> Skylar: Right.
3:19
>> Cameron: And he is prepping
3:22
to do this in a very rude,
3:25
Goldberg kind a way. Oay.
3:28
So that you definitely think that it's an
3:30
accident.
3:31
>> Cameron: Ah.
3:31
>> Skylar: D okay, explain.
3:34
>> Cameron: Well, he was planning to go.
3:36
>> Cameron: So what it I what I would.
3:38
>> Cameron: Like to know is what is what is this carriage
3:41
yard look like?
3:42
>> Cameron: Yeah.
3:42
>> Skylar: So this is a fully functioning business. And the
3:45
interesting thing is, as you approach steam way
3:48
carriages, which is actually located
3:51
hundred Asgardia district. So out of
3:53
your day is actually spent traveling to the Asgardia
3:56
district, which is a finer district. And as you approach
3:59
Steamway characters're actually very surprised because
4:02
you see what seem to be
4:05
non, of course, driven carriages. Ah
4:08
seemingly moving by themselves or by some use
4:11
of strange magic. they're somewhat
4:14
loud, kind of almost a grindy sound
4:17
with a little bit of a whir and whiz and
4:20
maybe even some cranking that seems to come out of them.
4:23
and as you approach steamee carriages, you see several said
4:25
carriages, that are be either
4:28
repaired or simply parked outside of
4:31
this business place, which seems to be a
4:34
very nice, mix of metal and wood.
4:37
business space building. It's one
4:40
floor, but it's a little bit tall because, as you notice, there's
4:43
a garage area, where they seem to be moving
4:46
these carriages in for repairs. There's
4:49
individuals inside that are all wearing kind of these
4:52
greasy outfits and costumes,
4:55
sort of like jumpers. And they all seem to be,
4:58
working on these vehicles.
4:59
>> Cameron: Uh-huh.
5:00
>> Skylar: But there's definitely plenty of sort of.
5:02
>> Cameron: Park and things around Biller
5:04
I approach o
5:07
one of the
5:10
mechanics, if they should be called
5:13
so.
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>> Skylar: Yeah, I think, in fact, as you walk up to
5:16
kind of the garage, one mom m comes out and meets you, and he's got a big old
5:19
clipboard. he's at orc and he
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says.
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>> Cameron: What do you got going? Never seen a
5:27
l Kenu that own a steamway
5:29
carriage. Where'your u where's your ride?
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>> Skylar: What's wrong with it?
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>> Cameron: U I, look at the orc,
5:36
and I just point at him and
5:39
recall someone yelling in the back alleys. And
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I say, john.
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>> Cameron: What?
5:45
>> Cameron: I point at myself. Sorry, I'm gesturing, dud. This is a
5:48
podcast. I'd point at myself and I
5:51
say, job.
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>> Cameron: You wanted? You wanted? You want a job?
5:55
>> Cameron: Get a job.
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>> Skylar: Me?
5:57
>> Cameron: You want a job at the younna work?
5:59
>> Cameron: Huh?
6:00
>> Cameron: Here does nods.
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>> Cameron: M. M. You're gonna have to take that up with the boss.
6:04
>> Skylar: And he walks back inside
6:07
into the office, into kind of the main area, not the garage here. He
6:10
goes into the main area of this Steam wa Carriages
6:13
business, and he returns with a, sort
6:16
of younger man, maybe in his
6:18
mid-30s. he's got kind of like
6:21
a rugish, facial hair with kind of a
6:24
more pronounced goatee. He's
6:27
got some nice sort of thin,
6:29
glasses. He's got some pretty intense,
6:32
eyebrows coming down to create sort of a really
6:35
just intense look. His hair is kind of slick back
6:38
a bit.
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>> Skylar: And he says, I heard someone
6:41
is looking for a job. Is that you,
6:44
good sir?
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>> Cameron: Des nods.
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>> Skylar: I see. And, what sort of experience
6:50
do you have repairing
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carriages? Specifically
6:55
the motorized variety?
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>> Cameron: M. What. What
7:01
can Des
7:04
do in the Overworld, he grew
7:07
up as
7:09
younger royalty. In the Overworld,
7:12
he is a fishman.
7:14
>> Skylar: M.
7:14
>> Cameron: So he was a fighter.
7:16
>> Cameron: He was a fighter.
7:18
>> Cameron: Ah.
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>> Cameron: Des. Des lifts up a finger, like, he has an
7:21
idea, which would technically be like a feather. Feather. He just
7:24
holds up one feather. He picks up a rock. He
7:27
takes out of his cloak and many things. One
7:29
reflective mirror.
7:32
he puts it on the rock, and he ties a bunch of hemp rope
7:35
around it. And then he summons his
7:38
swarm as, like, a mage hand.
7:40
>> Skylar: Right, and your swarm is the twigs, right?
7:43
>> Cameron: Yeah, little twig guys.
7:44
>> Skylar: Little twig guys.
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>> Cameron: Yeah, twig guys. They hold up this rock
7:47
with the mirror tied to it. and they start
7:50
making. They start mimicking the sound of
7:53
the engine. Or Desz will start mimicking the sound of the engine
7:59
as the mage hand carries this rock with
8:02
the mirror tied to it. And Des just, like,
8:05
gestures like, ah.
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>> Skylar: Ah. the man. The man sort of strokes his
8:09
stubble.
8:09
>> Skylar: And he says, I see. Interesting. Interesting
8:12
indeed. I'm not getting anything
8:15
that suggests that you can build.
8:17
>> Skylar: But he looks both ways, as if.
8:19
>> Skylar: Like, suspiciously, and he says, I might have another job for
8:22
you. Come with me.
8:23
>> Skylar: And he starts to lead you towards his office.
8:25
>> Cameron: Des follows.
8:26
>> Skylar: All right, you guys follow. He. Follow him in the half Org
8:29
goes back to the garage. He's not with you guys. as you guys enter
8:32
inside, he brings you into his nice office.
8:35
It's decorated with a few different shelves filled with books.
8:38
And, he's got a big fancy desk with
8:41
a chair behind it that looks extremely comfortable.
8:44
And he offers you a seat that looks
8:47
less comfortable, but, you know, it's padded.
8:50
And, sits down himself, and he.
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>> Skylar: Says, I have a bit of A
8:55
problem that I feel like you might just
8:57
be perfect to help me solve.
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>> Cameron: Des puts his feather tips together and,
9:03
like, leans in.
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>> Skylar: You, I assume, aware
9:07
of Metal. Noble Metal
9:10
Steeds Transportation?
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>> Skylar: Yes.
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>> Cameron: Nods.
9:13
>> Skylar: Good. As you could probably
9:16
assume, it is my
9:19
rival in the transportation business
9:21
that deals with, our motorized carriages.
9:25
It is a constant thorn
9:28
in my side, and I wish it to be
9:31
gone. I'm sure you know its
9:34
owner, Isabel
9:36
Fairchild, calls herself a
9:39
lady.
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>> Cameron: Okay. Des nods along.
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>> Skylar: All right, he says.
9:44
>> Skylar: I need you to.
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Well, there's a number of things I suppose you could do, but
9:50
whatever it takes to get rid of her
9:52
business, whether that be through
9:55
sabotage or procuring some kind
9:57
of false accusations that we could use
10:00
against her credibility. Perhaps
10:03
bribe an, individual working for her
10:06
to cause some kind of
10:09
problem. Maybe
10:11
even intimidation. I don't know what
10:14
you're capable of, but if you can get me
10:17
something in order to cause her
10:20
problems and possibly cause her
10:23
business to fail, I would be in your
10:25
debt. How does this
10:28
sound?
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>> Cameron: Des, looks up, taps the
10:32
tip of his beak approximately five times, and
10:35
nods.
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>> Skylar: Okay.
10:36
>> Skylar: Good. Good. And, of course,
10:39
you'be compensated for your
10:41
troubles.
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>> Cameron: What was the carriage company that she's the part of?
10:46
>> Skylar: She is the, owner of Noble Metal
10:48
Steed'transportation.
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>> Cameron: Okay.
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>> Skylar: So whatever it is that you're able.
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>> Skylar: To accomplish, come back to me,
10:56
and.
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>> Skylar: I'll give you your next job based on
11:00
the results. I don't pay
11:03
until I see significant issues
11:06
with her business.
11:08
>> Skylar: But once I do see that you.
11:10
>> Skylar: Will be compensated greatly.
11:12
>> Cameron: Does not.
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>> Skylar: Fantastic. And, of course, I assume
11:16
you understand that this conversation
11:19
stays between us.
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>> Cameron: U. Des will take his fingers and,
11:24
like, do zippers exist?
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>> Cameron: Yeah.
11:28
>> Cameron: Okay, because, like, when.
11:31
When was the zipper invented? Surely everyone was just buttoning their
11:34
pants.
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>> Cameron: Remember, this is a pocket dimension world. Anything can exist
11:37
when we Wait.
11:38
>> Cameron: Zips cross his beak. I mean, it's like. It's like
11:41
a triangle.
11:42
>> Skylar: It looks a little bizarre when you get. Exactly.
11:44
>> Skylar: Wonderful. Have a nice day, and feel free
11:47
to report back whenever it is that you have
11:50
made movement.
11:52
>> Cameron: Des salutes. does Des
11:55
see where the
11:57
target, carriage is being held?
12:00
>> Skylar: Yeah. Do a perception check.
12:01
>> Cameron: Well, that is
12:04
a seven.
12:06
>> Skylar: So the only thing that you see around this
12:09
entire facility, from what. What you've seen, is these
12:12
metal motorized
12:14
carriages that he keeps talking about.
12:17
>> Cameron: I see. Well, I will do a task, and
12:20
u. He'll be in my debt.
12:23
And then I will make the
12:25
carriage disappear.
12:27
>> Skylar: All right. Sounds good. Where,
12:29
where do you plan on heading next?
12:32
>> Cameron: I. I guess I'll Head to the
12:34
next yard. I'll go ahead and
12:37
head over to the metal.
12:40
>> Skylar: The noble metal steeds or noble steeds
12:42
for short. Yeah, you head over to noble steeds.
12:45
And honestly, it looks very
12:48
similar to steamway carriages. The
12:51
only major difference is that this place seems a little bit more
12:53
bougie. as opposed to
12:56
steam wa carriages was a little bit more like, not rough and
12:59
rowdy, but just a little bit more like, you know,
13:02
let's just get it done and not worry about how nice it
13:05
necessarily looks. So you head over
13:08
there and similarly, you've got a number of different
13:10
individuals that are working on these vehicles
13:13
here. and then kind of the nicer
13:16
office area, attached to the
13:18
garage.
13:19
>> Cameron: Okay. I'm going to
13:22
walk up to the.
13:25
The door to the kind of nicer office
13:28
area.
13:29
>> Skylar: Okay.
13:30
>> Cameron: And I would like to
13:33
step in and act like I'm waiting
13:36
for help.
13:37
>> Skylar: Okay.
13:37
>> Cameron: And then I'm going to reach
13:41
into my bag of tricks.
13:43
>> Skylar: Okay.
13:43
>> Cameron: And I'm going to roll one of
13:46
the fluffy balls out of the bag of tricks
13:49
into the middle of the office
13:52
discreetly.
13:53
>> Skylar: Okay, wait, you're rolling one of the bags of
13:56
tricks into like through. You're opening the door a little bit and then
13:59
rolling one in.
14:00
>> Cameron: Yeah.
14:00
>> Skylar: Okay. What are you rolling it U.
14:02
>> Cameron: Well, I need to roll a D8 to find out.
14:05
5. It's a black
14:07
beary.
14:11
>> Skylar: All right. You roll this bag in and then all of a
14:13
sudden you just hear
14:17
as heavy footsteps start to fall and
14:19
make their way throughout. And you hear someone shout,
14:22
excuse me, is somebody here? And then
14:25
o up.
14:28
Oh dear. And
14:31
you hear a door slam.
14:33
>> Cameron: All right, I will run to the garage.
14:35
>> Skylar: Okay.
14:36
>> Cameron: And are there people in the garage?
14:37
>> Skylar: Yeseah.
14:37
>> Cameron: I will frantically do like one of these
14:40
things and then I'll mimic. Oh, sorry. I'm
14:43
waving my hands above my head. And then I
14:46
am. I'll make like a bare
14:48
imitation with my body and
14:51
growl and then point at the
14:54
office so that people know that there's a bear in the
14:56
office.
14:57
>> Skylar: Okay. All right. Do a perform. Do a performance
15:00
check.
15:00
>> Cameron: It's an 11.
15:02
>> Skylar: I would say, one person just sees you kind of
15:05
motion toward. There's. Let's say there's three engineers back
15:07
here, mechanics. One of them notices that you point towards
15:10
the office there. None of them seem quite sure. They're like, oh,
15:13
excuse me, can we help you?
15:14
>> Cameron: What is exactly is going on?
15:16
>> Skylar: But one runs over to the office.
15:18
>> Cameron: Oay.
15:19
>> Skylar: And, all we need starts to head in that. Yeah. Head in that direction.
15:22
you're left with one guy who's, like, real
15:25
scrawny, tiny dude. he is
15:27
underneath one of the cars at the moment. He
15:30
hasn't noticed that you're there. He's underneath there
15:33
and he's sh. What's going on out there?
15:36
What are you guys freaking out about? And then in front of
15:38
you is a, dwarven
15:41
female.
15:42
>> Cameron: Okay.
15:42
>> Skylar: she's got like, like coveralls on. Yep. And she's
15:45
got a big old wrench in her hand, and she's kind of got some.
15:48
Some soot or some kind of grease on her face and she's like.
15:51
I don't know what you're trying to say there, Felip.
15:54
If something's wrong, you gotta. You gotta tell
15:57
us because you look darn frantic.
16:00
>> Cameron: I really wish I had a
16:02
fire lantern. Oh, I guess I had bullseye
16:05
lanterns, don't I? Do they use
16:08
oil? I'm pretty sure you would think so.
16:11
>> Skylar: Yeah. I would think so.
16:12
>> Cameron: Is there oil on the floor of
16:15
this garage type place?
16:17
>> Skylar: Yeah, I'd say so.
16:18
>> Cameron: I will. I'm going to
16:21
donawn a terrified face and just
16:24
point behind her.
16:25
>> Skylar: Okay. Yeah. She looks back. What do you mean? Something's back
16:28
there.
16:28
>> Cameron: Gonna throw out of my robe of
16:31
useful items. Throw down a bullseye
16:33
lantern just on the floor.
16:35
>> Skylar: Okay. And just shatters it.
16:37
>> Cameron: I'm hoping that.
16:38
>> Skylar: Is it lit, though?
16:39
>> Cameron: It is lit.
16:39
>> Skylar: Oh. Oh, okay.
16:41
>> Cameron: They are filled and lit is how.
16:43
>> Skylar: Just at all times. That's how it was sd.
16:46
I mean, it. This is a magical, thing. that is an interesting
16:49
way to look at it. Yeah. okay. Yeah. You. You throw
16:52
this down, and it immediately ignites some of the fluids
16:55
on the ground. And at this point, the guy underneath the car is freaking out. He's
16:58
like, why am I. I smelling fire? Why am I smelling
17:01
fire? I smell fire. What's going on out there? And the
17:04
dwarven woman turns around and goes, hold. Oh, dear.
17:07
You. Did you do that? What's going on?
17:09
>> Cameron: I'FREAKING out with, I'm gonna wave my
17:12
hands above my head and I'm gonna run away.
17:14
>> Skylar: Oh, okay. She looks up at the ceiling, like she thinks one of maybe
17:17
the, light source had fallen down or something. She's not sure.
17:20
And she rushes over. She's trying to find, usually they'll have a
17:23
bunch of sawdust or sand that they keep in just to
17:26
help, like, soak up those fluids when they do get ono the ground.
17:29
And so, yeah, she's trying to she's trying to dump, some, some.
17:32
Something on top of this. So whatever the case, she's
17:35
frantically looking around. What are you doing? As this is
17:37
happening?
17:38
>> Cameron: One, I'm gonna roll another
17:41
ball into the garage and then I'm gonna run away.
17:44
>> Skylar: Hit and disappear. Hit and disappear.
17:46
>> Cameron: Hit three of those perlo long rest.
17:48
>> Skylar: Okay. And number dissipate the one
17:50
previous the creature vanishes at the next D are when it is reduced
17:53
to zero hit.
17:54
>> Cameron: Points, but it stays until it's
17:57
reduced to zero hit points. That's
17:59
crazy. A7. It's
18:02
a giant hyena.
18:05
It is now in the garage.
18:09
>> Skylar: Yes. And it is also kind of like
18:12
freaking out as there's, like, fire
18:15
and there's people frantically moving
18:18
about. And one guy is under the car, just flailing,
18:21
trying to get himself out from under the car becausee he doesn't know
18:24
anything that's happening right now. So,
18:26
yeah, I mean, you've got a bear in the main house and
18:29
you've got a giant hyena in the garage. just
18:32
giggling and cackling and laughing as the people are
18:35
freaking out. Yeah. trying to put out fire, but also stay,
18:38
like, at a distance from this giant hyena,
18:41
so. Which is obviously slowing down progress of putting out the
18:44
fire significantly. The guy that went into the house hasn't
18:46
come back out yet. So you assume they're distracted by the bear
18:49
inside, whatever that situation looks
18:52
like. What's your next move?
18:54
>> Cameron: So is this. Now is this a lot,
18:58
like, a lot of wagons, or is it just
19:01
like, they've got the garage, they've got the thing,
19:04
or is it like a dealership?
19:06
>> Skylar: This is actually, as you kind of look around, they don't have a
19:08
huge number of wagons that are here.
19:11
and as you kind of like, look around at some of the signage and stuff,
19:14
you kind of get the idea that this is actually more of a
19:17
taxi service or sort of a luxury
19:20
taxi service, almost like a limo, because obviously these motorized
19:23
vehicles aren't super common.
19:25
>> Cameron: Right. I imagine both the
19:28
fire, the bear and the hyena
19:31
are gonna cause significant revenue drop.
19:33
>> Skylar: Sure, sure.
19:34
>> Cameron: I think I will take my chances
19:37
with that in mind.
19:38
>> Skylar: O and just leave and take off. Okay, sounds good.
19:41
Are you headed back to the rest of the gang then,
19:44
at this point?
19:45
>> Cameron: yeah, sure'stop. I'll stop like an
19:48
officer on the road. O and just like,
19:50
do that waving above my. You just branting, pointing.
19:53
And then I run away like this.
19:55
>> Skylar: So the guard is, like, already kind of in a light Jog.
19:58
And then you stop him and you start frantically flailing and
20:01
he's like, I know, I'm out of there already. And he
20:04
just kind of runs off past you and he's like, somebody
20:07
bring.
20:07
>> Cameron: A bucket, we need water.
20:11
>> Cameron: That should clear me of any
20:13
suspicion.
20:14
>> Skylar: For the Bear and the Hyna. We need a gun
20:17
alrigh. So, yeah, that's a good idea. Yeah, that's a good point. All right, so,
20:20
yeah, Noboy, nobody necessarily suspects you. As far as
20:23
anyone's concerned. You were a guy warning everyone
20:26
the danger. It's just weird
20:29
how much danger suddenly happened while you were around. But, hey, you
20:32
know, awesome. All right, so you came back.
20:34
You'successfully done quite a bit of damage, to say
20:37
the least, to this nice business.
20:52
Jumping back over to Cameron. Cameron,
20:55
Roick is off to the horses, but not the
20:58
raceces necessarily. Where is he headed
21:01
to?
21:01
>> Cameron: Well, Roark doesn't know where the horses
21:04
are, so he was heading to the
21:06
stable where they were taken from
21:09
where.
21:09
>> Skylar: You guys originally got them. Right? Yes, The Pendleton
21:12
Estate.
21:13
>> Cameron: Pendleton Estate. I was debating,
21:16
you know what? Ro had an idea and he said he was gonna do it,
21:19
so he's gonna just go with it and then might have
21:22
to just go with the flow from there, but he is
21:25
casting disguised self.
21:27
>> Skylar: Okay.
21:27
>> Cameron: And I was disguising myself to look like the
21:30
assistant that we saw at the lawyer
21:33
office. Sure.
21:34
>> Skylar: You arrive at the Pendleton estate, it's very different
21:37
seeing it in the daytime and not the nighttime. you
21:40
still see the crashed cart that you guys
21:43
crashed, which is taped off, allegedly.
21:46
Oh, sorry, Allegedly. that is taped off.
21:49
And in the distance you can see a
21:52
stable. But now that it's daylight and you can get a better look
21:55
at everything that's going on here, you realize that there
21:57
are many,
22:00
many stables behind this
22:02
stable, all of which have a lot of
22:05
horses and them.
22:06
>> Cameron: I'm not looking for horses.
22:07
>> Skylar: Okay. I'm just letting you know, there's probably a
22:10
guard and a woman
22:13
that are standing by the crashed
22:16
cart at the moment.
22:17
>> Cameron: Does it look like there's anyone working the stables?
22:21
>> Skylar: Not, that you see at the moment. You assume that there has to be.
22:24
Yeah.
22:24
>> Cameron: I'm gonna walk around the stables looking for a stable hand.
22:27
>> Skylar: Okay. Are you sneaking past the guard in the woman?
22:30
>> Cameron: I'm just walking. I'm holding. I'm just walking.
22:32
>> Skylar: Because you are disguised as the. As the chick. Okay. Yeah, I don't think
22:35
anybody would question that. yeah, you inevitably find a
22:38
stable hand.
22:38
>> Cameron: Okay.
22:39
>> Skylar: And it's a young man. He is a
22:42
wood elf.
22:43
>> Cameron: Okay.
22:44
>> Skylar: Well, hi, ma'am. How can I help you?
22:46
>> Cameron: Do I have to do the voice?
22:48
>> Skylar: A voice you, can do your best interpretation of the voice.
22:51
Does disguise self give you the voice though? Yeah, okay. Yeah.
22:54
Just have fun.
22:55
>> Cameron: Just the man I'm looking for.
22:58
>> Skylar: Me.
22:59
>> Cameron: Ah.
22:59
>> Skylar: rarely the man anyone's looking for except
23:02
Mr. And Mrs. Pendleton, but. Well, not
23:04
Mr. Pendleton anymore.
23:06
>> Cameron: By the Mrs. Pendleton. Oh, see, I'm from
23:09
the U. The courts.
23:11
>> Skylar: The courts?
23:12
>> Cameron: Yeah, the courts.
23:13
>> Skylar: You're here to court me?
23:14
>> Cameron: Noh, no, no.
23:16
>> Cameron: I'm looking for those horses that
23:19
were stolen during the
23:21
Pendleton affair that drew that dry
23:24
night.
23:25
>> Skylar: We actually call it around here. We call it
23:28
a situation.
23:29
>> Cameron: The Pendleton situation.
23:31
>> Skylar: There you go.
23:32
>> Cameron: Well, anyways, those two horses.
23:34
>> Skylar: Oh sure, the two.
23:36
>> Cameron: They're not being kept here, but I need to
23:39
go fill out paperwork. But I don't
23:42
know where they are. So I was looking for you to help me out.
23:44
>> Skylar: I need you to do a persuasion.
23:47
persuasion check with advantage.
23:49
>> Cameron: Good thing. That's advantage. But that is a
23:52
1 21.
23:54
>> Skylar: He says. Well, shucks. Ma'am, are you. You said you're
23:57
from the prosecution court people?
24:00
>> Cameron: Yes, I'm the
24:02
attorney's assistant.
24:04
>> Skylar: Oh, you mean old egg.
24:06
Yes, egg.
24:08
>> Cameron: Yes, egg. Gnomes is sure.
24:11
And I'm his assistant.
24:13
>> Skylar: All right, ma'am. Yep. I could take you right over to the
24:16
horses that are part of the trial here. And he leads
24:18
you over to a particular stable that's
24:21
quite's. Almost centered to the many, many,
24:24
many stables that they have. And he says right here we've
24:27
got Fergie and
24:30
we've got Begie.
24:32
>> Cameron: Okay, good.
24:33
>> Skylar: Feg and Begie were a kidnapped poor guys
24:36
who've been bit traumatized ever
24:39
since. I've been giving him extra oats and
24:42
a couple extra carrots a day. Have I Bur and Fergy.
24:45
And he kind of reaches both his hands up and gives their. Their
24:47
muzzles and nuzzle.
24:49
>> Cameron: I bet they were traumatized.
24:51
>> Skylar: Oh man, they were traumatized something.
24:54
Fce.
24:55
>> Cameron: Well, good thing we're here now, right? The help
24:57
out.
24:58
>> Skylar: Oh, absolutely, absolutely. Did you
25:00
need something?
25:02
>> Cameron: Well, I don't need you per se anymore.
25:05
>> Skylar: O. I'm sh.
25:06
>> Cameron: What are the papers?
25:07
>> Skylar: They re. Papers. Well, they're hanging up on the.
25:10
The doohickey right there, the hanger. And
25:13
there's a clipboard hanging on either side of them. Like there's kind of like a
25:16
perect or something like that.
25:18
>> Cameron: I'm gonna pull out a couple Pieces of paper
25:21
myself.
25:21
>> Skylar: Okay.
25:22
>> Cameron: I don't have a clipboard, but I have paper. So I just
25:25
pull up loose paper.
25:26
>> Skylar: Okay.
25:27
>> Cameron: And a pen, A quill pen.
25:29
>> Skylar: Okay.
25:29
>> Cameron: And'be like, I just need to copy down the information.
25:33
>> Skylar: Oh, sure. Under my papers.
25:34
>> Cameron: And I'll be heading out. So you don't. I don't want to waste any
25:37
more of your time. Oh.
25:38
>> Skylar: All right. I gotta get.
25:40
>> Cameron: I don.
25:40
>> Cameron: Get in trouble with Ms. Pemble. Yeah.
25:42
>> Skylar: She does a heck of a spanking and he.
25:45
He quickly scampers off.
25:48
>> Cameron: Okay.
25:49
>> Skylar: He picks up like a pail of water and heads. Heads around the back.
25:51
>> Cameron: Okay. Well, after he leaves, I kind of just. I
25:54
put the papers away. The ones I had. I didn't need them
25:57
anyways. and I, Can I look at theirs? Yeah. Is it just
26:00
like their information or.
26:01
>> Skylar: yeah. Yep. It's got like their, you know, obviously their name
26:04
and information about their breed and things along those
26:07
lines mostly.
26:07
>> Cameron: Are there other horses in the stable?
26:10
>> Skylar: In this particular stable? Yeah. I think it's like four
26:13
horses to a singular stable. And then of
26:16
course, I mean, there's just so many stables around you with horses.
26:19
The place smells really bad.
26:20
>> Cameron: Okay.
26:21
>> Skylar: If you're not used to horse poop.
26:23
>> Cameron: Okay, now I gotta just figure out the solution
26:26
here. How do I take these horses out? I
26:28
thought first thought was I swap the paper
26:31
names.
26:32
>> Cameron: But then I figured the stable boy would know what they look
26:34
like.
26:35
>> Skylar: That's a fair point.
26:36
>> Cameron: Wrong. I like, could try changing their
26:39
stables. Hold them.
26:41
>> Skylar: Burn it.
26:43
>> Cameron: Who's saying this? I don't know.
26:45
>> Skylar: Your inner voice. Do it. Burn it down.
26:48
I hate my job here.
26:52
What's that?
26:52
>> Cameron: It's the stable boy. He's still cute.
26:55
>> Skylar: I'll hide the pail of water.
26:57
>> Cameron: Oh, that's a route you could have gone with. Does he really hate
27:00
his job? You could find out.
27:02
>> Cameron: He didn't seem too fond of those spinkings.
27:05
>> Skylar: Maybe he was just pretending not to like him.
27:08
>> Cameron: I don't have speak with animals.
27:10
>> Skylar: So I can't just talk to them.
27:12
>> Cameron: So I'm trying to think what would be the
27:15
quickest way I can do this.
27:16
>> Skylar: I'm justnna. I'm just gonna say this right now. If you
27:19
kill the horses, everyone who
27:22
listens to this podcast will hate you.
27:25
>> Cameron: I don't want to. I want to. Trying so hard to think
27:27
of another solution. Keep in mind
27:30
that past adventuring
27:33
parties that had tried to fight a
27:36
stable. Oh no, I forgot about
27:38
that. Oh no,
27:43
that was. That's right. In other Campaign
27:46
we played. I was the DM and Dave and a
27:49
group of friends. And the first fight in that
27:52
campaign was them against the stable for full of horses.
27:55
And they almost all died. Yeah,
27:58
it was. It was not a good fight.
28:00
>> Skylar: It's about numbers. It's a numbers game when you go to con.
28:02
>> Cameron: Oh, no, I'm gonna think, you know, what can
28:05
I pull out? Oh, do they have food anywhere in
28:08
here? Can I look to see if there's a carrots or
28:10
something? Like good food, not just hay.
28:13
>> Skylar: I think there might be a m.
28:16
It's mostly just hay in here because anything.
28:18
>> Cameron: All the good food was taken as evidence, so.
28:21
>> Skylar: Right.
28:21
>> Cameron: I don't have any good food.
28:22
>> Skylar: The challenge is, is that if they put good food too close to
28:25
the stables, the horses will get it.
28:28
>> Cameron: Okay, well, do they have some oats?
28:31
>> Skylar: They just mostly just have hay. Just. Hey.
28:35
>> Cameron: Okay, can I
28:38
hold out some hay and just try and
28:41
for. Just get the animals to like me
28:44
with an animal handle.
28:45
>> Cameron: Yeah, yeah.
28:45
>> Skylar: Do an animal handling.
28:46
>> Cameron: I could just fail as and I'm gonna have to quickly pivot the
28:49
plan. Yep. It's a five.
28:51
>> Skylar: It doesn't seem all that interest in there. Hey. Actually, you think it might be
28:54
less to do with the. Hey. And more to do with like, it's
28:57
getting a weird smell off you because it like le. It goes
29:00
and it seems off. Yeah, seems off.
29:02
>> Cameron: do they have leads on?
29:04
>> Skylar: No, but there are leads hanging.
29:06
>> Cameron: Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense.
29:07
>> Skylar: O.
29:07
>> Cameron: I don't know how to put a lead on a horse, so
29:11
same. You know what must be done. When is
29:13
the accord?
29:15
>> Skylar: you guys have one more day to do something and
29:17
then it'll be the trial.
29:20
>> Cameron: Okay. First I am going to take their
29:23
papers. Okay. And then I'm going to take
29:26
the papers of the other horses in this
29:28
room. H. And then I am going
29:31
to leave that stable.
29:33
>> Skylar: Are you just taking them all together?
29:35
>> Cameron: Just the papers.
29:36
>> Skylar: Oh, okay. You leave the clipboards, up.
29:37
>> Cameron: Yeah, leave the clipboards up, take the papers and then I walk to the
29:40
side and I like, I make a mark
29:43
in the side of the building. Just like a mark
29:46
so I can remember that's the building with the horses in it.
29:49
>> Skylar: Okay.
29:49
>> Cameron: Because then I'm going to go to another stable and start taking in their
29:52
papers.
29:52
>> Skylar: Oh, okay.
29:53
>> Cameron: O. I'GONNA start taking papers of every.
29:55
>> Skylar: Okay. Like you're gonna head back to the front and as you do, you're just
29:58
grabing.
29:59
>> Cameron: Yeah, I'm just stuffing papers in here.
30:00
>> Skylar: Okay, Sounds good.
30:01
>> Cameron: And then if I get Them all without anyone noticing me.
30:04
I'm gonna go back to that one.
30:06
>> Skylar: Okay.
30:06
>> Cameron: Okay. So I ll go back to one. I go back to that one, and I
30:09
open up the stable.
30:10
>> Skylar: Okay.
30:11
>> Cameron: And I released all the horses in there.
30:13
>> Skylar: you open up the stable.
30:14
>> Cameron: Yeah.
30:15
>> Skylar: And they. They don't move.
30:17
>> Cameron: Yes. So behind them, I'm going to cast press
30:19
theentation and make it look like there's a fire
30:22
growing behind o. It's not real. It's just light. So make it look like
30:25
a fire is going behind him. And I'm just going to stand off to the side.
30:28
>> Skylar: Yeah. So it takes a minute to notice because of again, it
30:31
doesn't. Doesn't. I don't think it gives off heat. It just.
30:34
It's a visual. Entirely visual. But the second that they do see it.
30:36
Yeah. They start to panic for sure.
30:38
>> Cameron: Okay.
30:39
>> Skylar: And then they would leave. Yeah.
30:40
>> Cameron: Okay. And after they do that, then I go to the next stable.
30:43
>> Skylar: Okay.
30:43
>> Cameron: And I do the exact same thing. All right, I'm
30:46
just gonna keep looping this
30:49
process.
30:49
>> Skylar: Okay.
30:50
>> Cameron: How many are there? You said there was a lot.
30:52
>> Skylar: Dude, there's a lot.
30:53
>> Cameron: Okay, that's even better.
30:54
>> Skylar: Yeah. So by maybe the third
30:57
or fourth one, the stable boy comes running
31:00
back and he's like, what? What tarnations
31:03
going on? Why aren't these horses in their
31:06
stables?
31:07
>> Cameron: I don't know. Does he look like I know anything
31:10
about horses?
31:11
>> Skylar: roll, roll A deception check u it's 11. Ah. he
31:14
says, but wait a
31:17
minute. What are all those papers
31:19
doing in your bag?
31:21
>> Cameron: U what? Those are the papers I told you about.
31:24
>> Skylar: But why are the horses out? Oh, and I
31:27
don't see any papers hanging from the walls. Rats.
31:30
Rats?
31:31
>> Cameron: Yeah, rats.
31:33
>> Skylar: But the doors are open. The rats are
31:35
openingooorss. Yeah, that's a bunch of
31:38
boney big, big rats. Where are the big
31:41
rats? All I see is horses running around. This a
31:44
big problem.
31:45
>> Cameron: That's not my problem.
31:48
>> Skylar: I'm gonna have to tell Mrs. Pendleton about
31:50
this.
31:51
>> Cameron: That potential spank you.
31:52
>> Cameron: Oh, not me.
31:53
>> Skylar: I didn't do it.
31:55
>> Cameron: I didn't either.
31:56
>> Skylar: You seem pretty suspicious. I
31:59
haven't seen no rats.
32:00
>> Cameron: Oh. Okay.
32:02
>> Skylar: I think you better leave.
32:05
>> Cameron: O leaf. Bye.
32:08
>> Skylar: And, as you leave, you know, as. As you kind
32:11
of walking off into the distance, you hear
32:14
from far away, close up to where the stables. Are you just here?
32:17
Yeah. Was that woman right there? And
32:20
you turn to look, and you can see Mrs. Pendelson standing next to
32:23
one of the guards standing next to the stable boy. And they're all or he's
32:26
pointing at you and the guard is kind of like,
32:30
come back here. You get
32:33
back here.
32:34
>> Cameron: I want to talk to you.
32:37
can I. This plan'going worse and worse. But
32:40
you know what? Gotta, gotta invest in the plan.
32:43
I'm gonna walk around a corner.
32:44
>> Skylar: Okay.
32:45
>> Cameron: And I'm gonna cast thisguy self. Okay. To
32:48
look like Lord Pendleton.
32:51
And I am going to summon
32:55
Gertrude, the magical
32:58
goat.
32:58
>> Skylar: Horse.
32:58
>> Cameron: The goat. And I am going to
33:01
hop on Gertrude. Mind you, this is
33:04
the ivory horse that I bought.
33:06
>> Skylar: Yeah.
33:07
>> Cameron: And then so it summons like it's a go go.
33:10
>> Skylar: It's not a horse.
33:10
>> Cameron: It's a's. The size of a riding horse. It's pretty
33:13
distinguishable though, just to be fair. Hop onto
33:16
the Gertrude.
33:17
>> Skylar: Yep.
33:18
>> Cameron: And I'm going to ride around the corner
33:21
and declare he'll never
33:24
catch me alive. Coppas. and I'm gona like
33:26
evil cackle. I'm gonna start running off.
33:29
>> Skylar: So as you, as you do this, the guard
33:32
comes riding up on surprise a horse.
33:35
he's bareback. He just grabbed one that was just happened to be
33:37
moving by.
33:38
>> Cameron: Yeah.
33:39
>> Skylar: Hot. and he just hopped on it and started riding over. And
33:42
he sees this and his jaw just
33:44
drops to the ground. Not so much because of
33:47
the goat, but because he's looking at
33:50
allegedly Lord Pendleton. and that
33:53
gives you an opportunity to kind of scooch away.
33:55
do an animal handling
33:58
check for how far you can
34:01
get. Or okay, you don't get too far before he starts
34:04
chasing goes
34:07
Pendleton. And he comes riding up next to
34:10
you. He's just that you.
34:12
Lord Pendleton. You're alive.
34:16
>> Cameron: No, I'm his
34:18
brother.
34:21
>> Skylar: Oh, come on, do it.
34:24
Do a persuasion check. I'm letting the dice
34:27
decide how this goes. C Becausez I don't even know.
34:29
>> Cameron: Norick wanted to go full in on the
34:32
twin evil twin brother. And he saw his
34:35
chance and he's taking it.
34:38
13.
34:40
>> Skylar: He, takes a pause.
34:41
>> Cameron: That's all I need. I shoot him in the head.
34:46
>> Skylar: It just get, you know, he's not a horse.
34:51
It's true. All right. Roll the
34:54
attack roll.
34:55
>> Cameron: Actually, no. Can I shoot him on the side so
34:58
like he, he's on bareback. So can I shoot him so like,
35:01
it would cause him to fall off because I mean, he doesn't have a
35:04
proper saddle.
35:05
>> Skylar: Sure.
35:06
>> Cameron: So I'm just shooting at this lodgeg because I don't want him to kill him
35:09
because I want him to think, sir, Pendleton's
35:11
evil brother shot him. That is
35:14
a 3026 I was so.
35:17
>> Skylar: Worried that if you rolled low, I was gonna have to have you shoot the
35:20
horse, and then everyone would hate you.
35:23
But, no, that's absolutely an enough.
35:24
>> Cameron: Like, I'm not shooting to kill. I'm shooting to dislodgeg.
35:27
>> Skylar: Right, right. And you perfectly do. you hit him right
35:30
in, like, kind of right in the. The side in a spot that
35:33
doesn't, like, pierce anything important. but it definitely
35:36
makes him go clutching at it, and then immediately topples
35:39
off of the horse. The horse, scared,
35:41
starts to run away, leaving him on the ground,
35:44
kind of not even, necessarily, like, in pain because
35:47
he's still just so in shock by this situation and
35:50
confused. and that gives you the opportunity to ride away
35:53
on Gertrude the Giant.
35:55
>> Cameron: And as I roar away, I laugh again. I
35:57
go, this let be the last day. You see
36:00
Clarence Bendleton.
36:04
And I turn a quarter and take off into the woods.
36:07
>> Skylar: All right. And you disappear until you
36:09
reappear closer to town and, I'm assuming, meet up with the rest of
36:12
the.
36:12
>> Cameron: Yeah, as a goblin.
36:13
>> Skylar: As a goblin, Yep. Awesome. All right, so you guys
36:16
reconvene that night having accomplished
36:19
a number of different things to help you with the trial.
36:21
>> Cameron: I definitely accomplish things.
36:23
>> Skylar: you get to take a rest. Although nobody took damage, so that doesn't
36:26
really matter. And then we'll go into the final day.
36:28
>> Cameron: Is it a long rest? Yeah, I get all my. I get all my
36:31
balls back.
36:32
>> Cameron: Get all my. I get all my spells back.
36:35
>> Skylar: Fantastic. So, all right, you guys.
36:37
Brand new day. Also, your, your guy is with you.
36:40
What's his name? Somebody had it written down. I know it.
36:43
>> Cameron: We didn't. We just talk about it.
36:44
>> Cameron: The poor guy.
36:45
>> Skylar: Yeah.
36:45
>> Cameron: Oh, the guy that. The hobo or homeless guy,
36:48
whatever.
36:49
>> Cameron: Rle. Dilt skin.
36:50
>> Skylar: Dilt skin. I did have it written down. I's funny, I passed by
36:53
it. I said, what the heck go I riding? Rumpled Dillkin? That sounds
36:56
ridiculous. No, you do have Rledil Dilts
36:59
with you. Okay, so you got a fresh new day. It is the
37:02
last day before the court trial. Ideally, if we
37:05
could kind of, like, collaboratively do this one, and then that
37:08
way we move on to the court trial in the next episode, I think would be
37:11
fun. We've still gotta finish getting the, the
37:14
cart. Well, he came back to you guys, but, yeah, I mean, that's an
37:16
option. So that's the only thing.
37:18
>> Cameron: Because you've got the horses all mixed up, right? Sure he
37:21
did. How did you manage to get out of there?
37:24
Well, you see, I took all the papers, and
37:27
then I let all the horses go. And then
37:30
in the chaos, they spotted me.
37:33
So I hopped on Gertrude, my trusty goat
37:36
horse, and I turned into Lord
37:38
Pendleton's evil twin brother. What?
37:41
And then the God started chasing me,
37:45
and then I shot him.
37:48
And then as I, I. I flew the coop,
37:51
I yelled, that'll be the last time you see Clarence
37:54
Pendleton ever again. And then
37:57
I went into the woods. So I
38:00
didn't really get rid of the horses, but I did,
38:03
I did make it look like he has an evil twin brother, which
38:06
is the idea I said we should have gone with anyways.
38:08
>> Skylar: I think that's way more valuable.
38:10
>> Cameron: Honestly.
38:11
>> Cameron: I think I did us all at justice here,
38:13
so. Well, maybe we could go with that
38:16
defense that it was his, the old twin.
38:19
Yes. Good. Yes. I like this
38:22
idea. Killed him and snuck into his house.
38:25
Yeah. And his wife saw him, stole his wife's
38:28
jewelry.
38:29
>> Skylar: Yeah.
38:30
>> Cameron: Maybe I could just make a fake
38:33
birth certificate from, the next
38:36
town over. I like it. They
38:39
you separated at birth. Yes.
38:42
And Charles, Clarence has always been
38:44
jealous of his older brother. Right. And the
38:47
life he had. Now, what did Rumple. What.
38:50
What do we have. What do we have you doing?
38:53
>> Cameron: Well, I told you guys before, but
38:56
you guys were gonna have me give some
38:58
false testimony and evidence, or
39:01
more like witness statement. But nobody's really told me
39:04
what it is that I'm supposed to say it, so I got. I got no
39:07
idea.
39:08
>> Cameron: O are.
39:08
>> Skylar: Ah, rub.
39:09
>> Cameron: I'm 63 years old.
39:11
>> Cameron: Des writes down on his little blackboard
39:14
that he carries around. Clearly, that
39:17
maybe Rumple could give
39:20
faults witness that he also saw the evil twin.
39:23
Because just one witness is not good
39:25
enough substantial evidence.
39:27
>> Cameron: But do we have two Mabeists? Because we have Ms.
39:30
Pendleton. Ms. Pendleton. But also, how about we
39:33
have Rumple? You were. You're a. A
39:35
tramp.
39:36
>> Cameron: Yep. Wa.
39:37
>> Cameron: What? How long on the streets have you been.
39:39
>> Cameron: Oh, man, when I wasn't in prison, I was on the
39:42
streets.
39:42
>> Cameron: No, when you get our.
39:44
>> Cameron: Well, I was there for 20
39:46
years.
39:47
>> Cameron: No, when you get out of prison.
39:50
>> Cameron: Oh, five years ago.
39:52
>> Cameron: Oh, okay, that's perfect. So he's been a tramp living on the
39:55
streets, and he saw, Lord. Really
39:57
Pendleton, Lord Pendleton's evil
40:00
twin brother, kill him and the slicer
40:03
in that alleyway. So now we have two
40:06
witnesses.
40:07
>> Cameron: Slow down.
40:08
>> Skylar: He starts furiously writing in a little notepad.
40:11
>> Cameron: Well, you know, the slice is.
40:13
>> Cameron: Yeah. Oh, yeah.
40:14
>> Cameron: So he was killed the same place where Lord Pendleton
40:17
was.
40:17
>> Cameron: What? Someone killed the slicer.
40:19
>> Cameron: He was an up and coming, and it was his evil
40:22
brother. And, thought you.
40:25
>> Skylar: Oh, y. I see.
40:27
>> Cameron: I see. Okay.
40:28
>> Cameron: Because we. Because Ms. Pendleton saw the
40:31
same person at her house,
40:33
right? So now this dude at both places
40:36
committing the crimes that they think Little Sauce
40:39
committed. You see? And we have two
40:42
witnesses at both places.
40:43
>> Cameron: All right? So, yeah, all right.
40:46
>> Cameron: They.
40:46
>> Skylar: They.
40:46
>> Cameron: They happen to. Must have dumped the cart. Just
40:49
happened to be in my framing.
40:51
>> Skylar: You, we were on a mission.
40:52
>> Cameron: Where was the town that we were in? Because. Because you
40:55
were hired by the Slicer. And when you saw
40:58
bad stuff going down, when, Evil Lord
41:01
Pendleton showed up, right? You ran because you
41:04
were scared he was gonna kill you, too, right? The lo.
41:07
Evil Lord Pendleton Clarence
41:10
saw as an opportunity. He'like, I can commit my crimes,
41:12
and since Little Sauce was here, I can frame
41:15
him.
41:16
>> Skylar: So.
41:17
>> Cameron: And I was just a bystander, right?
41:19
>> Cameron: I was walking by the alley, sleeping in, like, a dumpster or
41:22
something, and you heard the commotion and peeked out and saw
41:25
all this. And you were really smelly.
41:27
>> Cameron: I. I signed up for 20 gold to say
41:30
mean or fake things about a person, and
41:33
all you guys do is insult my status of
41:35
living.
41:37
>> Skylar: It ain't even true.
41:38
>> Cameron: I got a nice apartment. It's a
41:41
little rickety, but it's a nice apartment.
41:44
>> Cameron: Well, maybe you had too much to drink that night. Oh,
41:47
yeah, it's happened to us all. Well,
41:50
no, you can't say that, because then they won't trust his judgement.
41:53
>> Cameron: Oh, that's true. That's true. They get you on the
41:55
alcohol.
41:56
>> Cameron: Maybe you're visiting an old friend. Dumpster
41:59
Day. Dumpster Dave.
42:01
>> Cameron: You guys know about Dumpster dav Where.
42:02
>> Cameron: They bring Dumpster Dave as another witness?
42:05
>> Cameron: Oh, they probably won't find
42:08
Dumpster Dave.
42:09
>> Cameron: Oh, you were looking for Dumpster Dave.
42:11
>> Skylar: O.
42:12
>> Cameron: But he wasn't there. And then you heard people coming
42:15
and you didn't.
42:16
>> Cameron: And I.
42:16
>> Cameron: In the alley, the streets. You don't know. So you jumped in a
42:19
dumpster. The same dumpster you thought Dumpster Dave was
42:22
in, right? And then you jumped in to hide, right?
42:25
>> Cameron: And then you saw everything, and I saw everything. What is everything?
42:27
>> Cameron: Just to clarify. also.
42:28
>> Skylar: Just also. I just. I just. Skylar. Want to,
42:31
clarify here also is that I did
42:34
technically put down one
42:37
day training Rumple Dilt.
42:39
>> Cameron: Yeah, we spent the whole day doing this. What? So be it.
42:42
>> Skylar: Okay, but we still got to finish.
42:44
>> Cameron: His testas he can get to it.
42:46
>> Cameron: Yeah, well, you guys are training. While you guys are training
42:49
Rumple, I'll go and cash in on my favor.
42:51
>> Skylar: All right, sounds good.
42:52
>> Cameron: Did anyone want to go with him on that?
42:55
>> Skylar: He s. Oh, okay. All right.
42:56
>> Cameron: Okay. And the rest of us are gonna stay here.
42:58
>> Skylar: So Kido and Des will. Will go deal with the
43:01
cart situation, and then you guys are here. Okay? Okay, sounds good.
43:03
>> Cameron: So make sure you write all this down. Okay, so
43:06
there was a trade that was gonna happen
43:09
between the Slicer and Lord
43:12
Pendleton. It was going to be an
43:14
illicit horse,
43:17
questionable substances, questionable subsant. Substance
43:20
trade.
43:21
>> Cameron: What receptacle should I say it was.
43:23
>> Skylar: In a, job?
43:24
>> Cameron: Because I'm notnna know what it is.
43:25
>> Cameron: Was it a. It was a glass jar.
43:27
>> Skylar: Yeah, it was a glass jar.
43:28
>> Cameron: It was a glass jar.
43:30
>> Cameron: Okay, so he w. Will back up.
43:31
>> Cameron: The evidence, because that's what they found inside the cart.
43:34
>> Cameron: Got it. All right, so I peeked out, and so I
43:37
see the Slicer.
43:38
>> Cameron: He hands him the glass jar, right? Pendleton gives him
43:41
the money.
43:41
>> Cameron: Right?
43:42
>> Cameron: And then Slicer kills Pendleton.
43:44
>> Cameron: Oh, my gosh.
43:45
>> Cameron: But then another Pendleton comes
43:48
out. What? And kills the Slicer.
43:50
>> Cameron: Oh, my gosh.
43:51
>> Cameron: And then the Slicer had an accomplice. Well, not
43:54
accomplice with him.
43:55
>> Skylar: Yeah.
43:55
>> Cameron: And it was him. Right?
43:56
>> Skylar: And he points up Little Sauce.
43:58
>> Cameron: Yeah, he had an accomplice with him.
44:00
>> Cameron: It was Little Sauce.
44:01
>> Cameron: Should we say he was there to load? I mean,
44:04
yeah, I think he was there to help the Slicer. but. But the instant he
44:07
saw he killed Lord Pendleton, he yelled something
44:09
like, that wasn't part of the plan. And then took off
44:12
down the street.
44:13
>> Skylar: The.
44:14
>> Cameron: Then the evil twin.
44:16
>> Cameron: No, Little Sauce.
44:17
>> Cameron: Oh, little.
44:18
>> Cameron: So he was helping the Slicer, with the trade, just being like
44:21
muscle. Whatever.
44:22
>> Skylar: Okay.
44:22
>> Cameron: But then when he stabbed Lord Pendleton, Little Sauce
44:25
yelled, make sure you write this. That wasn't part of the
44:28
plan. that wasn'then. He took off running. And
44:31
then as he ran away, he passed another
44:33
figure who kind of looked at him, but then
44:36
kept walking in. And then that's when
44:39
you saw. I saw. It was another Pendleton.
44:42
>> Cameron: Right.
44:43
>> Cameron: You now saw.
44:44
>> Cameron: But he.
44:44
>> Cameron: Them.
44:44
>> Cameron: But he had a curly mustache.
44:46
>> Cameron: Yeah, curly musters. It's two of them because one's dead on the ground, and
44:49
one's walking towards the slicer. And then he.
44:52
He killed him.
44:53
>> Cameron: He killed the slice of the fake Pendleton with the curly
44:56
mustache. Killed the slice, said,
44:58
I'm the Pendleton now.
45:03
Got it. So just out of
45:04
curiosity, as somebody that's been involved in
45:08
a murder trial before, why did he
45:10
kill the Slicer?
45:13
>> Cameron: collateral. He use collateral? Just. Well, he
45:16
took the cash from him.
45:17
>> Cameron: This is me.
45:18
>> Skylar: Oh, okay.
45:19
>> Cameron: He took us Money.
45:19
>> Cameron: But he also took the horse substance.
45:22
>> Cameron: The illicit substance. He didn't want to give that up. If
45:25
I say the illicit substance, that's gonna sound
45:28
suspicious. Cause I'm just a dude in a dumpster.
45:30
>> Cameron: Well, you just saw a glass jaw with white liquid in.
45:33
>> Cameron: I just want to emphasize to you.
45:34
>> Cameron: That'S what used to.
45:35
>> Cameron: You guys keep saying horse liquid and I'm gonna
45:38
accidentally say horse stuff.
45:40
>> Cameron: Yeah, just say you saw a giant glass jar with white liquid
45:43
and white. Ok, anyways, you saw him take the
45:45
gold coins.
45:46
>> Cameron: Right.
45:47
>> Cameron: And the white liquid.
45:48
>> Cameron: Right.
45:48
>> Cameron: And then Lord Pendle just crank it. No, we had
45:51
a cot.
45:52
>> Cameron: Oh, okay, okay.
45:53
>> Cameron: That. That you saw them run past, Right?
45:55
>> Cameron: Right.
45:56
>> Cameron: But the. The guy in the car wasn't paying attention because then you saw
45:59
him hop in the car. You heard muffled
46:01
voices, and then they
46:04
left.
46:05
>> Skylar: Okay.
46:05
>> Cameron: That's all you saw.
46:06
>> Cameron: And did I get out of the dumbster after that?
46:09
>> Cameron: You waited a bit.
46:10
>> Cameron: All right. Cause I was real freaked outies.
46:13
>> Cameron: Two people get killed.
46:14
>> Cameron: Just two.
46:15
>> Cameron: Oh, fr. There was more. That was a lot more, wasn't there?
46:18
Like, ah. Roick starts counting his
46:20
fingers. I think Lord
46:23
Pendleton had two bodyguards.
46:25
And I think the slicer had two. Him.
46:29
No, we didn't have any. Because we would. We. We
46:32
weren't the bodyguards.
46:33
>> Cameron: I've said it once. I say before, I really don't care.
46:36
>> Cameron: You guysember all my numbers here. What do you guys
46:39
remember? I remember Lord Pendleton had two guards. Just say
46:42
there is multiple, multiple casualties. You can't quit.
46:45
Oh, yeah.
46:45
>> Cameron: Oh, yeah.
46:46
>> Skylar: Just o.
46:46
>> Cameron: It all happens so fast.
46:47
>> Cameron: Panic. But you do remember Lord Pendleton? A
46:50
couple Lord Pendleton killedguards. He had
46:53
some bodyguards.
46:54
>> Cameron: Had three. I got their badges right here.
46:57
>> Cameron: Oh, really? He had three bodyguards. And
47:00
those gods, u, were all killed by the slicer.
47:02
He's. He's a mean dude.
47:04
>> Cameron: I know him, knew him.
47:06
>> Cameron: He could kill all of them, right? Because'a slicer
47:08
U.
47:09
>> Cameron: not by himself, but I don't know.
47:10
>> Cameron: But maybe he was helped. Evil Lord
47:13
Pendleton. Ah.
47:14
>> Cameron: Okay.
47:15
>> Cameron: It was all a blur. You were honestly scared. You
47:18
saw, you, flashes of slashing
47:21
and blood. And you ducked into the dumpster. And then you
47:24
peeked your head back up just to see the slashes standing there and
47:26
being confrot. You heard Little Sauce say
47:30
that wasn't part of the plan.
47:31
>> Cameron: Was it part of the plan?
47:33
>> Cameron: You peeked your head back up to see Little Sauce running away. And
47:36
then you see Evil Lord Pendleton enter the scene. And
47:39
you see dead bodies all over. And just the slicer in him
47:42
okay. He grabs the. The jaw
47:44
and the money hops in the cart and the cut takes
47:47
off.
47:48
>> Skylar: Right.
47:48
>> Cameron: And then I waited a while and then I
47:51
got out.
47:52
>> Cameron: Yes.
47:52
>> Skylar: And I,
47:52
>> Cameron: Ran away.
47:53
>> Cameron: Ran off.
47:54
>> Cameron: Yeah.
47:55
>> Cameron: Back to my apartment.
47:56
>> Cameron: You're very nice apartment.
47:57
>> Cameron: My nice apartment.
47:58
>> Cameron: Too shabby for someone.
47:59
>> Cameron: It'd be a lot nicer if the landlord would fix
48:02
the damn door.
48:03
>> Cameron: Don't I know that? Oh, we're not. When you
48:06
left the alley, when you were leaving
48:09
alrigh, you saw something on the ground and you picked
48:12
it up. It was this. And I hand you one of the
48:15
bodyguards badges.
48:16
>> Cameron: Oa. That's cool.
48:19
>> Cameron: You were there.
48:19
>> Cameron: Yeah. That's some surprise evidence. I like
48:22
it. All right.
48:23
>> Cameron: Clever thinking, Maki.
48:26
>> Cameron: All right. Sounds good.
48:28
>> Skylar: Yeah, I was gonna say I'll jump over to you guys. so
48:30
you guys are headed back to the steamway
48:33
carriages. And you get there and you just
48:36
let yourself in the. In the door at this point. And
48:39
inside is.
48:40
>> Skylar: Did you even get his name?
48:42
>> Skylar: I think about it.
48:42
>> Cameron: He never told me his. Well, on his desk,
48:45
boss, it just says Deb.
48:46
>> Skylar: Boss, it says D. Boss. You know, he has a mug that just says
48:49
World's ad Most adequate,
48:52
boss. And he has a little thing on his desk
48:55
that says Victor Ironsides. And he
48:58
says, Ah, yes, my.
49:01
>> Skylar: My henchman. And he gives you a wink and he says, I see
49:03
you have a friend with you.
49:05
>> Cameron: Desnod.
49:06
>> Skylar: Well, I owe you a little something. Is it
49:09
allgh to speak with your friend around about
49:12
our business?
49:13
>> Cameron: Desnod gives an okay symbol.
49:15
>> Skylar: Perfect.
49:16
>> Skylar: Well, you did a very nice job at the
49:18
facility.
49:19
>> Skylar: Sabotage. So I have a little something
49:22
for you.
49:22
>> Skylar: And he pushes forward a small bag of
49:25
coins that jingles as it kind of slides
49:28
across the desk. Grah.
49:29
>> Cameron: I'll just scoot it towards myself.
49:31
>> Skylar: Yes, you peek in or it's
49:34
not.
49:34
>> Cameron: Polite to count your money in front of
49:37
the client.
49:38
>> Skylar: Fair enough. Fair enough. He gives you a nod of respect.
49:41
>> Skylar: Well, if you feel the urge.
49:44
>> Skylar: To do anym more, it will definitely be
49:47
a good week or so before.
49:48
>> Skylar: They'Re able to, be back and running to fullool
49:51
potential. So that has given me some adequate
49:54
time to, sneak in and
49:57
steal some good clients of theirs that I know we were re expecting.
50:00
Right. So you've definitely done me a solid for
50:03
certain. but again, if there's anything
50:06
else that you feel the urge to do, just make
50:09
sure to keep my name out of your
50:11
lips or beak. My apologies.
50:14
>> Cameron: M. I am gonna pass
50:17
a note to you. And it Says you'just his
50:20
translator. Yeah, I need. I need a v.
50:23
I need a voice.
50:24
>> Skylar: Yes.
50:24
>> Cameron: This is bothering me.
50:25
>> Skylar: It's kind of brilliant, actually.
50:27
>> Cameron: we need that wagon to
50:30
disappear as a favor
50:33
from the Pendleonnis State.
50:35
>> Cameron: Kido will relay the note.
50:36
>> Cameron: yeah, he's going to, like, take.
50:38
>> Cameron: The note, look at it, and then just hand it right
50:41
to the juice.
50:45
>> Skylar: He looks up, he looks a little confuseding. He looks
50:48
at you first, Keto. And then he looks back over to.
50:51
>> Skylar: Des, and he says, interesting. You need
50:53
the Pendleton wagon to
50:56
disappear.
50:58
>> Skylar: Hmmmm.
51:00
>> Skylar: M. I tell you what.
51:02
>> Skylar: In exchange for your pay, I
51:05
can have it be claimed
51:08
as stolen tonight.
51:10
>> Cameron: U.
51:11
>> Skylar: But I will need you to.
51:13
>> Skylar: And he puts up his fingers in air quotes.
51:16
>> Skylar: Steal it. And by that, it will
51:18
be easily accessible,
51:21
but you'll be in charge of the
51:23
disposal however you see fit.
51:26
>> Cameron: Des gives the okay symbol, puts the sack of coin
51:29
back on the table. That seems like a fair
51:32
bargain to me.
51:33
>> Cameron: All right.
51:34
>> Cameron: As a player.
51:35
>> Skylar: All right.
51:35
>> Cameron: Not shake hands.
51:37
>> Skylar: Hands with you.
51:38
>> Skylar: And he says, it's good doing business with you. I appreciate
51:41
your silence.
51:42
>> Cameron: I'll hold up my black chalk slate. And, now'write.
51:46
Takes me a few minutes because I'm not used to my feather
51:48
hands quite yet. Even though we've been here for, like, however many
51:51
months.
51:52
>> Skylar: Yeah, no, that's fair. It actually has not been that long. Probably
51:55
like, maybe two weeks at most. maybe
51:57
maybe almost a month at this point. But yeah.
52:00
>> Cameron: And. And it just says the word
52:02
discretion spelled very poorly.
52:06
>> Skylar: He looks at it for a second.
52:07
>> Skylar: And he squints and he goes, oh, yes, yes,
52:10
Wonderful. It is greatly appreciated,
52:12
both of you. Have a wonderful day.
52:15
>> Cameron: Kido, not being super intelligent, goes ahead and
52:18
reads the board to you out loud.
52:20
>> Skylar: does he say discretion? Is he able to get it?
52:22
>> Cameron: O.
52:22
>> Cameron: Just say it in a different language. That would be so
52:25
ra.
52:26
>> Cameron: Yes.
52:27
>> Skylar: Awesome. So you guys, finish up there. you head
52:30
out. And so that night, it's,
52:33
you know, under the COVID of darkness, you head back to the Asgardia district. Is
52:36
there anything that you are bringing with you or just a
52:39
glare?
52:39
>> Cameron: I'm just. What, they have, like, left it unlocked for him?
52:42
>> Skylar: Yeah, essentially. So when you arrive, you
52:45
see a particular stall that is. Yeah.
52:48
Unlocked, and it's, like, scooted out a bit to just make it
52:51
that much easier to hook up whatever it is that you're going to hook up
52:54
to this cart. Nothing
52:56
is blocking you from getting it. It's just the fact that, you
52:59
know, it's a cart. So du.
53:02
we needed a h. Horses or
53:05
new wa or ironicallyow
53:07
men. Some m. Strong men. aside from
53:10
yourselves. No, there's not a whole lot of people around here.
53:13
And ironically, the only type of there's
53:16
no horses and such because this business sort
53:18
of subscribes to
53:21
mechanical, possibly magical
53:24
carriages.
53:25
>> Cameron: Keinga'going to turn to Des and
53:27
mention how disappointed would
53:30
these employers be
53:32
if the carriage were not stolen but
53:35
were instead destroyed.
53:37
>> Cameron: Des holds a single feather to your
53:40
lips. He pulls out his tan bag of
53:43
tricks and he'll throw a fuzzy
53:45
ball, to the ground.
53:47
>> Skylar: Okay, let's see what you get is a D8. All
53:50
right.
53:50
>> Cameron: I'm confident in the things that pop up. It's a
53:53
four. An axe beak. Hey, that's what I need.
53:56
>> Skylar: That's a pretty big bird. Yeah, yeah.
53:58
>> Cameron: So the axe beak is a. It's a large bird.
54:00
>> Cameron: Be funny if flingo.
54:01
>> Skylar: So for those that are unfamiliar, you guys at the table,
54:04
ax speak. The best way I would say to describe it is
54:07
an avatar, theized airbeter, which in our BE News and bruise campaign,
54:10
we've actually mentioned this several times. The
54:12
ostrich horses. So about
54:15
that size. Like a large ostrich
54:18
sized creature that's used for
54:20
moving things. Although axe beaks maybe not as often.
54:23
>> Cameron: They look like. If you guys have ever seen, the
54:26
Quest for Camelot and the Quest for Camelot, the villain throws a
54:29
dodo bird and an ax into a vat and it comes
54:32
out with a metal hat
54:35
with an ax. And that's what they look like.
54:37
>> Skylar: I wonder if that's what inspired it.
54:39
>> Cameron: Anyway, we have the axeak. We can hook it up to the carriage.
54:42
They are friendly to me. So.
54:44
>> Skylar: All right. So yeah, you, yeah, you hook it up, it's friendly to you. So it
54:47
follows your commands. It's a little heavy for the axeeak,
54:50
but it seems to be able to inevitably pull it.
54:52
I'm assuming you guys aren't getting into this cart.
54:55
>> Cameron: You just can kind of hang around the periphery and look for any
54:58
guards or.
54:59
>> Skylar: Sure, sure.
55:00
>> Cameron: Neair er Doells.
55:01
>> Cameron: Yeah, I imagine we'd have to escort it, right?
55:04
Yeah, we can escort it. We don't have to write it.
55:06
>> Skylar: I only asked because, like, so when you guys
55:09
initially stole this carriage, you had two horses that were
55:12
hooked up to it and then you guys all piled in with your stuff and
55:15
everything. In this case, if you guys got in, I think it would be a bit
55:18
too heavy for the axe beak singularly to handle
55:21
it. But as long as you're Not. I think it can pull it
55:23
fine.
55:24
>> Cameron: Right. so we're going to escort it and I'm going to lead
55:27
it to the rougher parts of
55:30
town or maybe out of town. I would say out of town, but I
55:33
wonder if the guards would stop us. But
55:36
does every guard know what this carriage looks
55:39
like?
55:39
>> Skylar: No.
55:39
>> Cameron: Okay.
55:40
>> Skylar: If you, if you were just walking down the street leading
55:43
this thing, I don't think anyone would question it.
55:45
thankfully the Asgardia district is
55:48
not necessarily like the
55:51
Hoity Toity district, per se. it is, you
55:54
know, usually a higher end. You definitely wouldn't be caught
55:56
living here if you were of a, lower
55:59
income per se. But that doesn't mean that it's not
56:02
used pretty frequently for travel from people from lower
56:05
economic classes. So you can definitely get through it
56:08
without really anybody asking any questions. It just depending on where
56:11
you're headed afterwards.
56:12
>> Cameron: Well, I would like to lead it outside of
56:15
town.
56:15
>> Skylar: Okay.
56:16
>> Cameron: If we can.
56:17
>> Skylar: It'll. It'll keep you up pretty late, but you could take
56:20
it all the way around to the edge
56:23
of Isanumis, which
56:26
is bordered by the ocean. and that would be
56:29
the Atlantis Heights district.
56:31
>> Cameron: Okay. Appley named.
56:33
>> Cameron: Yep.
56:33
>> Skylar: And from there it's like a big shipyard. Right. That's like what
56:36
takes up most of this town. There's cobblestone area.
56:39
It's definitely kind of a poorer part of town. It's made up
56:42
by a lot of the sailors and anything sailors would really be
56:45
interested in rough and rowdy types. so, yeah, you're
56:48
absolutely. Nobody's gonna question a
56:51
dude and. Or two dudes and an axebeak carrying
56:54
a carriage. I guess the question is, is like there. I
56:56
think there's like a sewage area that you could
56:59
probably lead it to and then dump it. Nobody would
57:02
question also the people here as you're getting
57:05
led through. Sketchy.
57:07
>> Skylar: Sketchy people.
57:08
>> Skylar: Right. Course you got, like I said, sailors, the type of
57:11
people that sailors would hang out with. A lot of people become
57:13
sailors in this sort of renaissance
57:16
medieval style thing because they're trying to get away from
57:19
stuff. So nobody here is all that interested in
57:22
what anybody else is doing, because asking too many questions or
57:25
getting too noy nosy is going to get you in trouble.
57:28
So you, can definitely take
57:30
this cart to sort of just a
57:33
secluded area and dump it into the
57:36
water if that's what you would like.
57:38
>> Cameron: Yeah. And we just that. And we do just that. I
57:41
want to either toss it in the ocean or some burn it
57:44
down as a sludge pile. Or something. Absolutely.
57:46
>> Skylar: Yeah. I think a good sludge pile or maybe just like a
57:49
muddy section that kind of like just comes off
57:52
of the ocean and it just. This cart just kind
57:54
of sinks right into it. So awesome. All
57:57
right, you guys have managed to destroy
58:00
a very important piece of evidence. And with
58:03
that, you head back, you meet up with the rest of the group who has
58:06
aptly trained
58:07
Rumpeltililtskin for his
58:10
part in this trial. And with that, we will end tonight's
58:13
episode with the plan that the next episode will
58:16
be our court trial. We'see you guys next
58:19
time.
58:24
>> Skylar: Thank you so much for listening to Criminals of Ilaumis,
58:27
a Dungeons & Dragons 5th edition actual play podcast
58:30
set in a homebrew world created by me, Skylar Gorsett.
58:33
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