Latest / Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce / 37. Stop Waiting. A Guide to Traveling Solo in Post-Divorce Life with Jesse Bratter

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37. Stop Waiting. A Guide to Traveling Solo in Post-Divorce Life with Jesse Bratter · Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce

• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Hi, love, this is Dawn and you're listening to Dear Divorce Diary with my coach, dawn, where we explore the post-divorce life and you, the woman who lives it.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: We cover everything from trauma during and after divorce to feeling like a stranger in your own life and the new frontier of life as a single woman.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: We're cozy in for the conversations we've been longing to have about this new life.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Hi, jessie, welcome to the show.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: Hi, thank you for having me.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: So today, loves, we have Jessie Bradder with us, and I'm so excited to have her on the pod for multiple reasons.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: Let me explain.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: So Jessie is a single woman who does so much epic travel, and that's why we have her here to tell us all about traveling as a single woman.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: But also, jessie is on our team here at the pod, and so I love that.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: Y'all get to know a little bit more about who we are and what we do here at Dear Divorce Diary.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: So when you open the pod on your Apple podcast or whatever, right, jessie is the one that made the sweet little graphic, and when you see us on Instagram, jessie is the one that made all the pretty pictures.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: So welcome, jessie, thank you.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: So, jessie, you have traveled so many places and you're going to tell us about that, right?
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: But as we were talking about this, i just think that so many of us say, oh, my goodness, i would just love to go to Italy, it would be so amazing, etc.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: You've been so many times to Italy.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: But then, when we think about actually traveling, and traveling as a single woman, i think that what you do takes a lot of courage, like so much courage, and I'm sure you have so many stories to tell us about really amazing experiences and really hard things And we would love to hear about that, but you really are an amazing woman.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: Thank you Takes one to no one.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: So obviously in this context you've been divorced.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: I just bloop your spot a little, but so you're divorced.
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: Yes, I am.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: Can I give a little context to why I travel so?
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: much.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, go for it.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: So I'm a writer And so I'm on your team And I also freelance for a lot of different people and brands and places and things.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: So I write about design, interior design, and so I have been really I mean, i'm so grateful for these opportunities that I've had to travel.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: So a lot of my travel, especially internationally, has been for work, work, because, through work, because I have these experiences, or I go to these places and I see how something is made And then I come back and I write about it.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: So so reason is so that my writing can be more informed, so that I can, you know, share it in a better way with you.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: So many of these trips are largely paid for by a brand that wants you to write about them.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: So, but can I just highlight again how courageous you are Because, a you are your own boss, you are a freelancer, so so as a single woman, you A don't even have like a typical nine to five paycheck.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: So you're your own boss and you travel for work and solo a lot.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: Like you are just so brave.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: So when I go on these trips, if they're for work, i what I try to do is extend my trip.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: You know, once the work part is over, i'll extend my trip by a couple of few days so that I can explore, and so then I really am traveling solo And I feel like you know I can definitely talk some more about that.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: But like, for example, if I'm in Milan, i go to Milan every year for this really big furniture show called Just that Uh-huh.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: Uh-huh Milan for furniture show every year.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: Hey, great.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: And so when I am there then I try to do something else, like maybe like train travels, my new favorite things, So I'll take a train you know to wherever for the day, like maybe it's Lake Como, maybe it's one time I went with my friend Cara, who Dawn knows.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: Yes, fan of the show, fan of Dawn in general, and we were in Milan for this furniture show and we had a day like in between the things before the show really started, and so we said let's take a train somewhere, you know, let's take it to Lake Como.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: We had spent the weekend.
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we had spent the weekend in Lake Como on another trip, but you know, there's different parts of Lake Como and I didn't know, but now I know.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: I also didn't know until I knew, and so you knew, yeah, we had been in Verena and Bellagio, but there are more places that you can go to, and so we were going to try to go to Como.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: There's an actual Como in Lake Como, and so we were going to go there.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: So we get to the train station and the trains are all on strike.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: Oh, and the trains are all on strike because the weather was beautiful that day, so just no one wanted to go to work.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: You don't say, yeah, there was nothing wrong Like there.
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: It wasn't like.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: Oh, we're, you know, we're protesting, you know this certain thing or anything.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: The weather was nice And so the trains were not running that day Now.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: It's just got to be a moment like that, where, like we just really don't get it in in America, right, like we just don't get it A lot honestly when I'm abroad is the quality of life is just, you know and I don't know about politics or you know all the I don't know about all the things, but the quality of life and the way they value is truly different, is so different from here.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: It's really incredible.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: You find that all over the world, like not just in Milan.
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: I find it in many places that I've been to in Europe That's where most of my travel has been to is Europe And I, like in Italy and France and Sweden, in Ireland, like I in London, like I see it in all those places for sure.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Now I heard you tell someone recently that you extended a couple of days, maybe in Sweden, and ended up on a bumble date.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: Is that true?
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: That is true, but wait, can I tell you about?
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: there's more to the train story.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: Oh, yes, okay, so the trains are on strike.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: So we were, but there, we were at the train stations, we were like now what.
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: You know we love Milan, happy to stay here, But I don't know, we really had our hearts set on going somewhere else.
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: So we said to the woman she said this woman at the ticket counter who was helping us she said, well, that there's a high speed train that's still running, you know, to make like stops in big cities for people who have to go to work and stuff.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: So we said, oh well, we're okay.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: So where does that go?
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: And she said Florence.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay, okay, florence, here we come.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: Yes, we hopped on a two hour train to Florence.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: We made it pretty much and we walked around for a little bit, but we pretty much just had dinner And then we got back on the train and went back to Milan.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: Amazing.
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: So I'm just telling that story because I do feel like doing that as a single slash, solo woman is interesting, but I had really good experiences doing that kind of thing.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: So on that day you were with a friend.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: If you were solo, solo, do you think that would have felt different, or no?
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: I would have still done that Now that I've done it with somebody.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you know now that I've done it with somebody, i would do it again, but we're still even just being two women.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: Oh, it's still vulnerable, for sure.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: It's still vulnerable.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I know I asked you about the Bumble Date, but where we are just for a different thing.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: So what do you think the thing is that most women have in their mind about solo or single travel, like the thing that you've overcome, that most of us would need to overcome?
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: Is it about like you're sitting on the train and you're by yourself?
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: Is it what people think?
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: Is it about safety?
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: Is it about a no?
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: I would think I don't think it's lonely at all because I mean, you're in such a beautiful place and I've met so many people like interesting people, i know I'm just wondering, so I don't think it's lonely.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: I think that the fear is safety.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: Safety And not knowing where you are and language barriers If you don't speak the language where you're going.
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: So like, for example, in Italy, a lot of people speak English so, but some people don't, and so it can be difficult.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: Like I do a lot of Googling, google translations.
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: I guess there's apps that make that easier for you now, probably, but that's like one thing that's kind of hard.
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: That's hard in France too, but I was just in Sweden, which you were just asking me about, and everyone there spoke English, so that was like a very easy place for me to get around.
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: But I think that's probably the biggest fear, and so is safety, and so something that I do is, if I'm staying, when I'm choosing a hotel because once I leave my work situation, i'm on my own.
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: So when I'm looking for a hotel to stay in, i just stay in a really well populated area And I'm just really careful about where the hotel is And what's the public transportation like there.
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: I kind of like look into that before I decide where it is that I'm gonna stay, and sometimes I don't even decide that until I get there And because I'll get a feel for it.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: So I can get a feel for the area And if this is a place I wanna like still continue to stay in or not.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: Wow, that is so interesting And it's very on brand for the pod, meaning like really tapping into the vibration of a place before deciding how vulnerable you're gonna make yourself.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: Exactly Love that.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: And I've heard you tell some stories, which maybe we'll get to today, where you've been for sure in some dicey situations.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: But have you ever really been afraid or really like felt unsafe?
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: And again, that's like it's per person, right, We all kind of have our vulnerabilities, like maybe somebody's more anxious or about travel specifically, but do you think you can go into it fairly positive?
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: I think, yeah, i don't.
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: Now they've done it so much I don't necessarily have that fear going into it.
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: However, i have learned lessons about being alert and kind of aware of my surroundings and like trusting or trusting if I shouldn't be, and so I had.
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: I did have one incident where I wasn't alone, though.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: I was with a couple of girlfriends Kara was one of them, and then our other friend, arlyn, that we were traveling with.
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: So we're in the train station in Milan and somebody, a gentleman, came up to us and this wasn't really about our safety.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: This was about like we were kind of hustled.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: Oh okay, okay.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: So a gentleman came up to us and asked us if we needed help with our ticket.
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: getting tickets.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: We were going out to Lake Como and he asked us if we need help with our tickets and he looked like he worked there.
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: He was like dressed very professionally and he really looked like he worked there.
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: So we were like, yes, sure, This is the first time.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: That would be amazing Yeah.
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the first time we were ever there, and so he had us follow.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: He took our bags, he just like grabbed our bags and started walking.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: He just like, and he said, follow me to the counter, but he just like ran off with our bags.
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: He wasn't running off in the end, we were just following him, but like he ran off in the sense that he left dust behind him.
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: Like he went that fast And we just like, there he went, we just like watched him with our bags, so we followed him and then and he brings us to this machine that we didn't actually, in the end, need his help figuring out, and we get the tickets, and then he put his hand out to me for money And we were not prepared for that.
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: And so we were like, well, we don't have cash, sorry.
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: And he said, well, there's an, i'll take you to an ATM.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: Like he wasn't letting it go, goodness.
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: So he said, let's go to the ATM.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: So I, john, i for some reason, went with him And then his friend stayed behind And we like to I mean, i kind of thought nothing of it, but I just like started walking with him And then they told me later that they were standing there going.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: Should we have let her go, like it happens, so fast?
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: We just didn't even.
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: We weren't even thinking.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: And so I followed him to an ATM where we were still in their site line site, but there was a really long line.
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: So he goes come with me, follow me to another one.
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: So I followed him and I walked down.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: We walked downstairs, we get out of my friend's site And then he turns a corner and now we're walking down this like hallway in the train station And there's like people around.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: But we're getting to a less populated part And I'm thinking, and he's walking in front of me, not looking at me, and I'm thinking, i'm going to myself, why am I following him?
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: Like, why are you doing this?
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but I kept going.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: And so we get to the ATM, i get cash out, i give it to him, and then he led me back up to my friends and then he left.
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: So this is a great example, right, i've heard you tell some stories where you have been in some dicey situations, but this person clearly didn't have any bad intentions.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: Okay, so yeah, his profit scheme.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: He was not.
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he had no intention of like hurting me, But I didn't know that and I felt nervous.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: So this is a story that I'm feeling nervous And I went along with it anyway, which you know me a little bit.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: So It's like a good dose of guilt to make a person do something that they really have no business doing.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: Like you're probably not surprised that I went along with it, but it's like I was going against my intuition in that sense, because I was like this doesn't feel good but I'm still, you know anyway.
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: So but a dicey or situation I don't know if I felt like actually unsafe.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: That's amazing.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: I would guess that has something to do with you've had so many positive experiences.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: You probably have that point of attraction, right Like you probably carry with you a certain amount of confidence at this point traveling.
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: I think I maybe at this point.
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, also, this is just like another.
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: I don't know if this is a tip or not, but I was in Germany once and done with my work day, and I just didn't feel like going back to my hotel, and so I but it was getting dark and I was unfamiliar with the area and I don't speak German, and so I didn't really want to be just roaming around on my own.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: Makes sense Yeah.
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: So, but I wasn't ready to go back.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: So I was like, let me, let me try to do something indoors somewhere.
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: Like let me try to find an activity that I can do where I'm not walking around.
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: So I thought I was, so first I was going to see Avatar.
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: Okay, That was the.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: German at the movies.
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: Do I go watch Avatar in German, i don't know.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: And I kept walking.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: Let me look for something else.
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: So I saw all these people walking into a building and I actually thought that they were going into a subway station and I was like you know what, maybe it's just my day is over, maybe let me just follow these people and I'll head back, and so I end up in this opera house.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: So they were all walking into this opera house to see this opera or a symphony, and so I went up to the box office and I was like, are you still selling tickets?
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: And as I was like waiting in line to see if they had tickets, someone came up to me to scalp tickets at the symphony, and so I bought a ticket from her.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: Amazing, yeah, and I'm.
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: I sit down and I'm sitting next to this woman the same woman who sold me the ticket and her whole family because their daughter was in the symphony.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: Oh, fascinating.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I bet you have a lot of cool stories like that where you've met people, talked to people like, made connections.
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: Yes, One time I went to a trade show in Ireland with Kara and we.
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: so the trade show is for its design and crafts and fashion, like accessories, a little furniture, a lot of fashion.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: All the things women love to shop for.
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: All the things.
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: yes, and there was this architect and landscape architect husband and wife team who have gotten together to they basically design and make furniture, that is, it's very modern but it's inspired by the Ireland landscape, so, like they'll have a brass mirror.
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: that's actually all these etchings that remind me of like, like like that has come up shore or whatever.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: So, anyway, we meet them at the trade show and we had such a nice time talking to them.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: They invited us to their home for breakfast Yeah, that's so nice, we're sitting in their kitchen in Dublin and they were like serving us, you know, pastries and coffee and yeah.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: You have an adventure soul for sure.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: I do, yes.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: I just think that it's really interesting to meet people that are from other parts of the world and, you know, outside of your little, you know, when I'm home I'm like in this little bubble and I think it's really nice to get out of that sometimes.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: For sure Is there a downside to all the trouble that you do.
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: I don't think so.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: No jet lag.
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: No, yes, yes, okay, the jet lag is real.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: It's exhausting.
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: It is tiring, it depends how.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: You know I can't.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: I traveled in June.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: I traveled in June for an entire month and I wasn't just going to one location I was going to.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: I was on 16 planes in 30 days and it was not good.
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: I was like really grateful to go to all the places I was going to, but it was exhausting and I will never do that again.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: I won't do it in that way.
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: So there is such a thing as too much travel, yeah.
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: There's such a thing as, yeah, packing too much in, yeah, one sitting you know, so tell us about your bumble date in Sweden.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: Okay, so I've actually had two bumble dates abroad.
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: Okay, so I'll tell you about I mean ladies, can you imagine?
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: I mean first of all, you know, I could talk on an entire episode about how I feel about bumble dating.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a different episode, but I can appreciate you placing that statement there.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Just disclaimer.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: You know, dating today is very interesting, very something.
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's something.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: But but I was in Stockholm for a work trip.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: I went to go, like visit a factory to see how something was made, and after the trip was over I had extended my stay a couple days because I had never been there, and so I was on my own for the last few days, and so I and I don't, i really don't mind that, like I, i like exploring around.
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: I'll go to a museum.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: Did it take getting used to, or has it always kind of come naturally to you?
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: That has always come naturally to me.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: Okay, so a different woman, just so you know, as a therapist, a different woman might have a different experience of it.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: I don't want you thinking that your ease in.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: I don't want to call it aloneness, because you've already acknowledged it's not like alone for you, it's like you're in a space where there's so much potential, so much opportunity for connection, right?
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: So so, leigh, i want you to really tune into that, because I do think, jessie, that there are many women who would feel really alone and your perspective on opportunity for connection is so powerful, yeah.
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: That's nice to hear.
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: And also, you know, what's weird is my sister, who is married now, so she's you know, she'd probably want me to put that disclaimer out there that she's not going to bars and everything now anymore, but she would go sit at a bar.
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: She actually would sit at a bar, but she would go sit at a bar by herself, anywhere And anywhere and feel totally comfortable and meet people that way.
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: And that is just not for me.
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: I won't, i won't, i don't feel comfortable doing that.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: Going to bars to meet people.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: Going to a bar by myself.
• 26:13
  Speaker 2: But I will.
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: I'll go around the world by myself, Yes, yes.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: So I don't know what you're saying.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: So she doesn't do that abroad, she just does that in her life.
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but you wouldn't feel comfortable doing that in your backyard, correct?
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: I see That is interesting.
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: I know, is that weird?
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: What's that about?
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's on packet.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no In our next team meeting.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, i would go to like a I mean, it might have something to do with I'm not a big drinker So literally, a bar's heading is like what am I doing, you know?
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: But like I would go in my own backyard and I do like to a gallery or a museum or something that I like by myself for sure, but anyway, so I'm, yeah, so I'm there in Sweden and I'm like you know what, i don't know, let me just see, check it out here, bumble, and see what the scene is like.
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: You know, let me see what's going on, so you could move to.
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: Sweden.
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: Like that could happen.
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: I could totally move to Sweden And I.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: I have also this mindset of like you just never know.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: You never know Yeah.
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: And you never know who you're going to connect with And you know whether it's like.
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: I've met so many people and this is spoiler alert going to be a story like this.
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: I met so many people where it's not a romantic connection but it's some kind of rich with it, it was a meaningful connection with, like another human being, and to me that's very valuable.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I, so I, and then also you just never know, and maybe we like each other enough to keep and touch long distance and who knows?
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: So, like I definitely You can meet Milan next year, totally.
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, don't tell my mom, but yes, but so I go on to it.
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: And I met a gentleman.
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: You know I matched with this person who seemed interesting in our brief exchange that we had.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: So I said I'm only here for a couple of days, if you want to, you know.
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: So we said that we would meet up for-.
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: I have a sidebar here.
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: Do you think that that implies sex?
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: I'm only here for a couple of days.
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: So, while I'm glad you're here, i think you're on that.
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I and I'm not.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: You know some women.
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like you, do you boo?
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: right, whatever Yeah.
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: And that's great for them.
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: It's not what I was looking for, so I do feel like this is so interesting, so I do.
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: I did feel like I needed to put it out there, like I'm here for a couple of days, but not for that Yeah.
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: Here for a couple of days, not for that, you know.
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: I said that to a couple of people actually, and one of them said to me I think the Swedes are pretty harmless, you know, i don't think you have to say that And I was like that's so interesting, it's a no 100%.
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: Have to say that, because that is that's a lot of the exp-.
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: When I go on dates here, that is an experience I am confronted with very often on the first date.
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: So I felt like, yeah, i was like let me put, let me disclaimer now because I am in a foreign country.
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: You know, when I'm here on my home turf at least I can it's way more comfortable to end a night when I want it to end, but there I don't know what's gonna happen.
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: So I did feel like a little disclaimer was in order, but turns out it wasn't necessary.
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: I mean, i met really nice people, so anyway.
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: So I meet this one guy for dinner and it turns out he was in recovery.
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: I don't know if this is an important part of the conversation, but because of that we've met for dinner versus-.
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, i mean it was a good fit for you, because you're not like, drinking isn't a priority for you.
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Right, right, and so we ended up, i think because he was in recovery.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: He was very he's in this stage-.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: Of self reflection and doing some work and Love that.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: So our whole night was basically talking like that, you know about those kinds of things, And it was really fascinating.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: I mean Like a really nice out night out in Sweden.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: We had a wonderful dinner.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: Then we went, you know move somewhere else for coffee and kept talking And we were just.
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: We were talking like about how I believe this is going off topic slightly, but this is what we were talking about at dinner And this is part of why I like traveling and meeting people.
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: When I'm traveling is because, i don't know, i kind of believe a lot of things about the afterlife and if we've lived, other lives.
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: I am here for this conversation.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: I know you are, yeah.
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: And it, but I.
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: But one belief that I have is that we everybody that you connect with in this life is somebody that you have had a connection with in another life, maybe in a different capacity, but I do believe our souls are connected in whatever way, and so he and I were talking about that and saying, like we were saying to each other even you and I are connected.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: So in quantum mechanics we would call that entangled particles.
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: Okay, Love it.
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: Here we are.
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: we're two strangers who live in completely different parts of the world, But we're supposed to be here having this conversation for some reason.
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, this thing I'm gonna say is gonna be like so.
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: thank you, captain Obvious Don.
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: I think you have such a way about you, jesse, that just always anticipates the good in every person, and I think that it serves you within the context of this conversation, because I think your point of attraction is I am safe, you're good, this is good.
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: It really is so interesting, though, to be talking to you about international travel as a single woman and for you to just whether you're following the guy to the ATM or, you know, sharing the soul connection with this person in Sweden, like it really is something special about you to anticipate the good and the people that you meet.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: It's really beautiful.
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: Is it good or is it, you know, gullible?
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: I don't know what's the difference.
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: When do you cross over?
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: I think at its core it is absolutely good.
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: Right, but anything can have a shadow expression, and so if you take it to the place where you ignore flags or you ignore, like you said, your intuition about something, even then I don't think.
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: I think that was a learning.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: The ATM piece sounds like a learning opportunity for you, oh, notice that.
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: Notice that I did that, but I think at its core it's beautiful, absolutely beautiful.
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: Thank you Don't ignore the things.
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: But you know, we talk a lot on the pod about vibrationally attracting things that are a match for the vibrational place that you are, and I think that, at its core, i think you probably attract a lot of really magical experiences.
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: You mentioned once well, you told me this story once about arriving somewhere in France in the middle of the night and they're not being anyone in the hotel to check you in.
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: And it's the middle of the night, in the streets of France, and but then, you know, somehow, some way, you found a phone number that led you to that right and the person came and checked you in.
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: So it's almost like, no matter what situation you've been in, it's worked out, which is, i think it probably is a reflection of your attitude and your approach to life, and it's awesome.
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: Which is also really interesting about perspective like everything's about perspective because there we were standing in the middle of the night on the street going, oh my god, what are we gonna do?
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: I can't believe this is happening.
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, and I didn't think of it that way until you had said that, so you know that that I mean thank, we were grateful that somebody showed up who could speak French and call the owner of the hotel for us and, you know, help us figure it out.
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: But at the time we were like, really, what's gonna happen here?
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, you were on the adventure.
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, on the adventure.
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: So one of the things that I also want to point out is just how beautifully you're living your life.
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: You know, i think so many of us have framed I'll do it, when I'll do it, when I'll do it when I'll do it when right.
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: And then you are not waiting for the right partner to do the things, and I understand that so much of your travel is for work, but but you're just doing the things and you're living your life, and you're living it with such a beautiful attitude, and I love that, and I think there's a beautiful lesson in this to all of us, about doing the thing that you're inspired to do, regardless of the circumstances.
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: Yes, and I agree with that, and even though I am traveling for work, it's like I kind of chose this path of work that would allow you to do these things and have these experiences.
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: I just went on a cruise.
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: I saw those pictures.
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: That was mind-blowing to me.
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: So were you like on the Virgin voyage of the Virgin?
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: was it a Virgin?
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: Yes, it was a maiden voyage of this particular set of Virgin voyages and the reason it was a press trip.
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: So there were eight other writers on the trip I believe was eight other writers on the trip but basically we kind of like did our own thing during the day and then we would come back together at night for dinner.
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: The reason they had the trip is because Richard Branson was on the ship, like he was gonna be on the ship.
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: So they're like, let's get some writers on so they can interview him.
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: So I interviewed him, i have lunch with him and we, you know, chatted with him about why he started the cruise ship and and things like that.
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, so that was really cool, but while I was on this ship, so we did.
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: You know, we had the opportunity to do.
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: You could either stay on the ship if you wanted or you could do an excursion, and so I decided that I was gonna do an excursion one day when we were in Honduras, and the excursion I picked was horseback riding.
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: I don't remember if I told you about it.
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: I saw the pictures.
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: You were like this is so and so, and now we're friends.
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: Yes, right, my horse Storm Storm.
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: Yes, i remember, yep, yeah.
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: So I chose to go horseback riding in the jungle, which I do think is as a solo woman as a solo woman, sort of a courageous or adventurous kind of thing, yes, but I, so I go, but it was like the most incredible experience, so I'm sharing it because I feel like if there's a woman out there listening to this who would be afraid to go for some reason, you got to just go because I had.
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: I was so like moved and affected by the experience because so we went to, so the ship is there at the shore and we get on a bus and we're driving to this ranch or wherever, yeah, like a beach club kind of thing, where they had these horses.
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: It was on the beach, okay.
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: So all of the horse, all of the horses, were rescue horses.
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: That's right.
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: So they were either abused or neglected or abandoned during COVID, while everyone was quarantining Right And there was no tourist travel to have the revenue to feed the horse, yeah.
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: Okay, right.
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: And when these people acquired the horses, they did not know that some of them were pregnant.
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: Oh my word.
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: So all of a sudden the horses started having babies.
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: More horses, more horses.
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: So we go on this.
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: it was a, you know, it was a guided tour, so there were other people that came from the ship and we are on the horses in kind of a line.
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: you know, they line you up and they just walk behind each other and every now and then you have to gallop a little, trot a little to catch up, you know if your horse stops for whatever reason.
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: but as we're doing this, we're going through the jungle, like on all these jungle trails on the horse, and then all the babies are running alongside and like in and out of the line, their mamas with their mamas, because they couldn't, it was too soon for them to be separated from them, and it was just such a magical experience I had not.
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: I've been on a horse before, not in many, many years, but I've never experienced that with babies.
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: you know, like feeling that, yeah, energy, their energy, and then we come out of the jungle and we, they took us into the ocean.
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: In Right, you got to be on your horse in the ocean, yeah.
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: On the horse in the ocean and I I literally started crying.
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: Well, we just even talk about from an energetic perspective.
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: so horses have this huge electromagnetic field to do with their heart center and so when we talk about needing to regulate emotionally or needing to get grounded, being with a horse is literally you are in their electrical magnetic field, and then to be in the ocean, which is just so soothing and healing, and I mean I can just imagine, right, i mean.
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: I do the thing.
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, i definitely 100% felt all that energy and it just kind of like overcame me and I could have picked any excursion.
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: I could have picked no excursion.
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: The ship was beautiful, like there's plenty to do on the ship, you don't have to get off.
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: But so, like I'm saying, get off the ship And also even on a cruise ship and you'd go do an excursion, you don't really know where you're going, you don't really know.
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: I mean, i would suggest that you do it through the crew, you pick the excursion through the cruise and not like go off on your own and find it.
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: But there is something coming up here about so often.
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: As women, i think, we're used to outsourcing our sense of well-being to a partner, so like I'm safe because I have a partner with me, for instance, or I don't have to own my own safety because I have a partner with me.
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: And maybe you've been in a marriage where that didn't feel true for you and that was one of the problems.
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: But it is so true that as women, we are so strong and so powerful and so capable and so magical And obviously y'all hear me say this to you week after week after week.
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: But I think when you go through experiences like this, where you're traveling and you're standing in your power and you're tapped into it so vividly, it's like you just know I don't need to outsource my power to some dude.
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: It's right here, me and this horse Storm.
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: Right Now.
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: Ok, i you know, would it be nice to go back one day with a partner to all these people.
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: For sure, it's not all or nothing.
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: Of course, absolutely Like.
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: I have a joke with my friend Kara, who I go on a lot of my work trips with, and we always, you know, so like we just went to Venice.
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: So we were in Milan, we took our day trip.
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: This time, no, sorry, we were in Bologna.
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: Ok, that was a different trip.
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: We were in Bologna for a tile and stone trade show, and so we extended, you know, extended a few days, and so one of the days we went we took a train to Venice.
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: That was my first time being in Venice.
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: Highly recommend, it was the pictures, gorgeous, yeah, magical place.
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: But you know, after we were, in Peru.
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: You're on the gondola with Kara not with, i was with Kara.
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: Well, here we are again, you know, on our honeymoon, on our honeymoon in Venice, on our honeymoon quality trip together, you know.
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: So I mean, I just wouldn't be authentic if I didn't also.
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: But they're still long, like you have long.
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, of course I would like some.
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: You know I'd like to go back to some of these places, but I'm so happy to also just be there on my own as well, you know.
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: OK, ok.
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: So just to wrap us up, you have to tell us the story of your mom in the refrigerator.
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: OK, my mom in the refrigerator, which is a story that she does not know.
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: Mom, if you're listening, turn it off now.
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: My sister has a big mouth.
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: Is the moral?
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: of the story.
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: I think we just got you guys in trouble.
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: Did I just do that?
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: So my sister told me at one point that she was over at my mom's house and was observing that my mom was standing at the refrigerator.
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: You know, the refrigerator doors open and my mom's just looking into the door and she's like, oh, i'm going to be in the refrigerator, my mom's just looking into it, deciding.
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: One might assume that she was deciding what to eat, but it turns out that's not what was going on for her.
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: Right, Actually, you're right, That's a better segue.
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: So she's standing there looking into the refrigerator and just talking to herself And she just said out loud you know what?
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: at least Jesse's having a good life, Oh good, Well me?
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: then I was like oh my God, Okay.
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: Well, like any good Jewish mother, she wants you to marry a good chiropractor or something right, Like she wants to go there.
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: She has tried so to set me up with her own chiropractors.
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: I can't even.
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: Okay So, but I love that, right, because the truth is you are having a good life And, yes, we can acknowledge that there's a longing to have a really amazing partner, and we can also acknowledge that he's out there and the timing hasn't lined up yet, right, yeah, but moms, right, i hope that's true, but yeah.
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: I just haven't gone to the right country yet.
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: Perhaps I think it has to be a really magical relationship to be able to like top some of these magical travel things.
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: But you know what?
• 46:12
  Speaker 2: Can I tell you one more story?
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: Yes, or okay, i don't know how much time it has been, but so I went on a date recently with some okay, one of my work trips was for many, many years ago, but I still, i could like picture it today Like it's, like it just happened.
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: Yesterday was for a company that is called Cosentino.
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: That is a stone company.
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: The surfaces they make like surface material here, so they make like tops, maybe flooring, maybe for the wall, like anywhere you would put a stone, Okay, so they are based in Spain, and so I went on a press trip to their factory in Spain.
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: It was in El Maria, spain, and they took us out to the quarry where they get the material from, and they were putting on a cliff, basically looking down into this you know like valley looking thing, and there are, there were like cranes that were like carving stone out of the side of the mountain.
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: And then they took us back to their factory and showed us how it goes from that to become your kind of.
• 47:38
  Speaker 2: And so ever since that day, i cannot look at a countertop in the same way.
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: So, if you know, i can't look at a countertop without thinking about standing there on that mountain.
• 47:51
  Speaker 2: And so I, when somebody, like a friend or a family, whoever, asks me like, hey, what do you think you know which countertop should I go with?
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: It's like you have no idea what you just asked me.
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: That is not a simple one, two or three question.
• 48:12
  Speaker 2: And so I was on a date recently with somebody who kind of like who buys condos and he renovates them and he rents them out, maybe flips them or whatever, and he was talking to me about how, and he was very sweet.
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: This is nothing against him or anything, but he was talking about how he will pick.
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: You know, he just goes here or there and picks whatever material and he doesn't really care about the quality.
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: It just it looks good in the end.
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: So that's that.
• 48:47
  Speaker 2: And I was like he doesn't give quality of the material.
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: In my mind I was like this is not going to go anywhere Anywhere.
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: This is not ever going to like understand each other.
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know.
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: So anyway, something you just said, mimi, think of that.
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah that you know your next relationship is going to have to be epically in line with this kind of magical thing you've carved out for yourself.
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: I hope so, Hopefully yeah.
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: I want you to think of that.
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: in the same way you have goodwill towards all the people you meet, i want you to offer yourself the same goodwill.
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: Nobody gets off the pod without getting coached, i guess.
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: Oh gosh.
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: Josie, thank you so much for doing another courageous thing by coming on a pod and being with us and sharing your stories and inspiring us with all of your goodwill and your courage and your adventures.
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: It's amazing.
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: And thank you for inspiring us with your graphics and things, all the things you do for the pod.
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: Truly truly, Thank you.
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: Thank you for having me And I hope that you, you know, i hope I'm doing people who are listening a good service by picking out the good, like you have so many good, you know, revelation, kind of epiphany, like moment.
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: you've given me so many of those kind of moments.
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: So it's, you know, it's very cathartic for me to listen to your podcast and try to pick out what the good soundbites are.
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: So, thank you.
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we're a good team.
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: I love it.
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: Yes, all right, okay, loves.
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: Until next week.
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: Peace, dear Divorce Diary is a podcast by My Coach John.
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: You can find more at MyCoachJohncom.