Latest / Smart Business Growth with Nicky Miklós / Balancing Personal and Business Values: Is There a Difference?

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Balancing Personal and Business Values: Is There a Difference? · Smart Business Growth with Nicky Miklós

• 0:04
  Nicky: Welcome to Thrive in Business Together with Nicky and Ness.
• 0:11
  Ness: We would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of country, the Yagara and Bunarong people of Brisbane and Melbourne respectively, where Nicky and I both work and live.
• 0:20
  Ness: When I think about people who are stuck in that busy trap, what I think really happens is we're losing sight of what matters the most in life.
• 0:34
  Ness: When I think about that, it's the kinds of things that probably matter the most to most people are the connections and relationships that they have.
• 0:43
  Ness: We get stuck in the busy trap.
• 0:45
  Ness: We are at work or thinking about work or switched on at work all the time and that means we can't really be fully present with those that we love the most or enjoy the things that perhaps we're used to.
• 0:58
  Ness: I remember just recently talking with someone in our community and they talked about the fact that they had, about a year ago, taken a job for the money because they believed that this payment was much higher than the previous role that they had been in.
• 1:14
  Ness: They wanted to provide a high quality lifestyle for their family, wanted to be able to feel like they had the ability to do things with their family because this extra money was coming in.
• 1:25
  Ness: The reality of the job that was taken on was it was highly stressful.
• 1:31
  Ness: It was something that couldn't be done 9 to 5.
• 1:34
  Ness: It had to be done in the evenings, there was working on weekends, and even in downtime there was so much stress about what was happening in the business and what they needed to be responsible for that.
• 1:46
  Ness: Rather than actually being present for the family, there was the pattern of perhaps just vegging out, drinking alcohol, just not even connecting with family at all, not adding any value to their life and getting to a point where it actually was probably the unhappiest they've ever been.
• 2:05
  Ness: It really is a great example, I believe, of the wake-up call that sometimes hits us when it's probably too late, that what we're doing is pushing away the thing that we want to experience the most in our lives because we've placed value on something else that clearly isn't allowing us the opportunity to experience the things that we really want to.
• 2:30
  Ness: Does that make sense?
• 2:32
  Nicky: Nick, that makes absolute, perfect sense.
• 2:34
  Nicky: The thing that comes to mind for me there as you're talking through that, ness, is that because I know we were having a chat about this person as well and you were talking about incredible results that they had achieved in the work environment that just triggered this thought for me around this whole piece that how do we define what success is?
• 2:53
  Ness: Let me go a bit deeper around that.
• 2:55
  Nicky: For example, success could be.
• 2:57
  Nicky: The surface level is you're hitting your revenue targets, or you're hitting your KPIs, or you're growing your team, or you're scaling your business or you're delivering for your clients All the things that we know that our amazing clients and community are doing because they've got amazing, successful businesses.
• 3:12
  Nicky: If we only determine success based on those external metrics, what can be missing is, exactly as you said, that time with family.
• 3:20
  Nicky: We coin this time freedom.
• 3:22
  Nicky: We talk about choice around where we spend our time.
• 3:25
  Nicky: I actually feel like, if we can get clear on those personal values, could they not be a really clear measure and metric of actually what success looks like?
• 3:40
  Ness: Absolutely.
• 3:40
  Ness: I really think that when you are, when you know your values and you live by your values, then you are being really congruent in everything that you do.
• 3:51
  Ness: So what comes up for me is going back last year, 2022.
• 3:57
  Ness: I was navigating through a lot of uncertainty and I had a personal coach to help me through that change.
• 4:03
  Ness: I wanted to move locations is a huge move.
• 4:05
  Ness: There's a lot of fear and a lot of discomfort.
• 4:08
  Ness: That came with that, a few of my close personal relationships I was struggling with a bit and that was really getting me down.
• 4:14
  Ness: We were still in startup phase, nick of the business and there's challenges that come from that.
• 4:19
  Ness: Any other business owner will know exactly what I'm talking about.
• 4:23
  Ness: So I felt really unsettled and one of the one of the key things that we worked on was to determine what my top three values were for that season in life, because I believe they change over time.
• 4:37
  Ness: My values when my children at home and they were younger and I was working full time were very different to what they were then and what they are now, and what I found was, by going through that process of unpacking and discovering what it was that.
• 4:52
  Ness: What are the motions that I want to feel on a regular basis.
• 4:55
  Ness: What do I want to drive my behavior, my decisions and my choices by?
• 5:00
  Ness: And I win only I certainly do when I work with clients.
• 5:03
  Ness: You top three to five.
• 5:04
  Ness: But what I really liked about the top three was it just gave this laser focus around how do I make decisions about what I'm going to do with my life and what is important to me in relationships Through these and those top three were connection, curiosity and perseverance, and so everything came through that filter and I really do think that it's tapping into that.
• 5:30
  Ness: Understanding what drives you, what you want and what you want to experience.
• 5:34
  Ness: That then allows you to go into the workplace and bring that I bring that into work.
• 5:39
  Ness: That's so important in our business connection.
• 5:42
  Ness: For me is one of the key drivers.
• 5:44
  Ness: Curiosity what a great way to experience life when you're curious about other people, about yourself, about experiences, and then that perseverance, like I, is the push through to me.
• 5:55
  Ness: That's the push through the pain and challenge and all of those kinds of things.
• 5:58
  Ness: I do think that it is really important that so important that a lot of people don't stop to think about it or what I do.
• 6:07
  Ness: Experience also is that they rattle off the top three.
• 6:10
  Ness: It's usually respect, integrity, honesty, things like that.
• 6:15
  Ness: Sometimes respect is really tricky, because how can you that's expecting someone else to give you respect and your value, how you experience your life, needs to be driven by you rather than somebody else.
• 6:28
  Ness: So it's about getting deeper, I think deeper than just the surface level.
• 6:32
  Ness: What's coming up for you as you're nodding your head there, Nicky?
• 6:37
  Nicky: Quite a few things come up for me there, particularly, is values that have been something that probably over the last at least sort of 10 years exploring with and playing with, and particularly when we started our coaching journey, and it's one of those key things that we worked on ourselves and that we work on with our clients.
• 6:56
  Nicky: And I'm reflecting on a couple of factors here, one of them being personal values versus business values.
• 7:04
  Nicky: Is there a difference?
• 7:05
  Nicky: How are they aligned?
• 7:07
  Nicky: What's the connection?
• 7:08
  Nicky: And ruminating on that and I think it would be good to bring that into the conversation, because one of the things that comes up for me is we're talking about this is reflecting again on my own experiences around.
• 7:19
  Nicky: When I first started actually it was in I was in business a few years, a few years in, and I'd worked with a client for a month and she'd signed a 12 month agreement we were going to continue to work together got back in on the Monday, called for the first coaching session and she actually canceled, and when I asked her about it, the reason was she found out that I was in the same sex relationship.
• 7:41
  Nicky: So, for those of you that don't know, I've been with my wife, jules, for 14 years.
• 7:44
  Nicky: We've been married for 11 years and she saw on the socials that we were celebrating our wedding anniversary.
• 7:50
  Nicky: Now that was really interesting.
• 7:52
  Nicky: And why am I bringing this up now when we're talking about values?
• 7:56
  Nicky: There's a couple of different reasons here.
• 7:58
  Nicky: One it would have been a values misalignment for us to work together.
• 8:03
  Nicky: I certainly did not want to work with someone that was going to have an issue with this, because this is who I am and, as a side note, what that experience gave me was I really had to.
• 8:14
  Nicky: Don't get me wrong, I was pretty upset at the time, I was very hurt.
• 8:17
  Nicky: I then was very angry and I was all of the emotions, but it forced me to dig deep and, just as a bit of a side note well, who do I want to be?
• 8:26
  Nicky: Actually, it's not a side note, it's really relevant because it's who do I want to be?
• 8:30
  Nicky: Who do I want to show up as?
• 8:31
  Nicky: Am I going to now go?
• 8:33
  Nicky: Oh, I might be judged.
• 8:35
  Nicky: I'm going to have to hide that part of me and that's a very different way of doing business, and in the past I have gone.
• 8:41
  Nicky: Okay, business or corporate can be very separate to personal, or I'm actually going to step into this and go.
• 8:47
  Nicky: I don't, I'm okay.
• 8:48
  Nicky: If you have a problem with me, that's your problem, that's not mine.
• 8:51
  Nicky: What do I want to stand for?
• 8:53
  Nicky: And personally, I want to stand up for the people in the LGBTQI plus community, of course, because that is where I'm a part of.
• 9:02
  Nicky: But if that hadn't happened, I wouldn't have had that defining moment to go.
• 9:05
  Nicky: Do I hide or do I step up?
• 9:08
  Nicky: And one of the factors in making that decision and this is how it's so relevant to values is I had to think about my values, and hiding is a misalignment with my values, and stepping into who I am is absolutely a part of who is aligned with my values.
• 9:25
  Nicky: And there's a lot of talk about when we're not happy in life, when we're not happy in our businesses or it's not fulfilling, that is because there's a misalignment in your values.
• 9:35
  Nicky: And so even this is a little mini action or reflection for everybody what areas of your life are you not satisfied and fulfilled in?
• 9:44
  Nicky: And is it because you're kidding yourself, thinking your living values a certain way and you're not?
• 9:50
  Nicky: And that's where Both worked with a really great coach who helped us realise that 10 years ago almost eight years ago, actually, probably 10 or is it might be something else, but oftentimes it's because we're in misalignment with our values.
• 10:02
  Nicky: Are you stuck in the busy trap or on Juggle Street being all things to all people despite having a team, or perhaps your business is feeling chaotic?
• 10:12
  Nicky: Do the mini business health check to get 10 strategies in under 10 minutes so you can get time freedom back, experience peak performance and finally leverage smart growth in your business.
• 10:23
  Nicky: Head over to b2businesstogethercomau forward slash health check and, if you're ready for us to help in a more hands-on way, email us at hello at businesstogethercomau and we'll set up a time to chat.
• 10:37
  Nicky: If I can just show another quick story around that, if I reflect on my advertising career when I was a vegan, I had butchers as clients.
• 10:45
  Nicky: I had to go at that and that's what I had to do.
• 10:47
  Nicky: I chose to do that in that.
• 10:49
  Nicky: It just makes me uncomfortable now, like I'm sweating thinking about it.
• 10:53
  Nicky: It was a misalignment with my values, so something needed to change and of course it did, and that's great.
• 10:59
  Nicky: So I think there's a couple of things here I want to throw to you.
• 11:01
  Nicky: Next One is this concept and conversation around do we need to have separate personal and business values, and what does that look like?
• 11:09
  Nicky: And I really want to bring home this idea that how we live our values in business isn't just the individual showing up and being passionate, for example or this is like alluding to what you were talking about before but it's also about the types of clients that you're working with, the type of work that you're doing.
• 11:26
  Nicky: You and I are very clear on we don't work with every type of business, because of the experiences that I'll just speak for myself that I've had working with types of industries that were misaligned with values.
• 11:38
  Nicky: So it's your clients, it's your products, it's your services, it's the industries, it's the type of team members that you have, because when you have really good values, the beautiful thing about having solid business values is that you can be unique and different.
• 11:51
  Nicky: That's great, that's celebrate.
• 11:53
  Nicky: You want to bring different people and variety and diversity, and when you are aligned with a core set of values, you can embrace the differences and know that you're here doing the work together for the same purpose and outcome.
• 12:08
  Nicky: So I feel like I went on a tangent and many different areas, so I'm now just going to let you pick what thread you want to go with.
• 12:17
  Ness: That's interesting because I mean the reality is we went into partnership.
• 12:21
  Ness: We both obviously are very clear on our values and we live by our values, but they're not exactly the same values.
• 12:27
  Ness: So coming together and creating the values that we want to put the business, that was a really excellent experience to go through because it really got us to think about what matters the most and what's important and how do we want to show up and what kind of work and, like you said, the clients, the work we do, all of that kind of thing.
• 12:45
  Ness: But the interesting thing for me was when it became obvious that I think we had the opportunity to work with somebody in an industry that I can't even remember what it was.
• 12:56
  Ness: Do you remember what it was?
• 12:57
  Ness: Farmers or something like that.
• 12:59
  Nicky: It was definitely like beef farming or something.
• 13:02
  Ness: Yeah, and I remember the conversation we had where you were like this is so misaligned to who I am and what I stand for, and it became obvious that we needed to acknowledge that we needed to actually make that part of the work we do the clients that we work with because it mattered so much to you, and even the discussions around.
• 13:22
  Ness: If you wanted to do that work because I don't share that philosophy, then that's okay, but it created and generated the discussion, and what you're saying before makes me think.
• 13:32
  Ness: Most business owners start out their business and it's their values in the business and that's how they start to grow.
• 13:40
  Ness: And then people start coming into the team and we've got it's like culture right.
• 13:45
  Ness: We've got so many different opinions and behaviors and value sets and we actually need to come together over a shared set of values.
• 13:53
  Ness: So does that then need to change?
• 13:57
  Ness: Does it need to change to take into account the different people that we have working for us, or is it something that you can be aligned to?
• 14:04
  Ness: And I know with some previous leaders that I would coach with when they were struggling because their personal values were in misalignment with the business values.
• 14:13
  Ness: It became a big challenge because they had to make a call around am I going to continue to work here, or can I accept that when I come to work, these are the values that I need to align with?
• 14:27
  Ness: And then, outside of work, I don't have to, and I just don't think that this awareness is high, particularly when we are just consumed with the doing-doing.
• 14:39
  Ness: So when we're in that uncomfortable feeling, that sort of says something is sitting uncomfortably with me and we don't often stop to take that step back and go what is it that it's actually driving this?
• 14:53
  Ness: Where is this misalignment coming from?
• 14:57
  Ness: And so I do think that, as a business grows, we do need to look at it from a more holistic overall business value.
• 15:05
  Ness: But it's hard to separate who we are and what we stand by, particularly when we're working for someone else, and I think that is something that business owners need to navigate.
• 15:16
  Ness: Even leaders of teams need to navigate through, because it is not everyone's going to be the same.
• 15:24
  Ness: Yeah, absolutely.
• 15:26
  Nicky: And also because when you're clear on your values, another benefit is that it helps with decision making.
• 15:31
  Nicky: So even in the example I gave, I was like who do I want to stand for?
• 15:34
  Nicky: What are my values?
• 15:35
  Nicky: That helped me decide how I was to go forward.
• 15:38
  Nicky: And I think as well, to build on what you said around, do you create shared values based on the team that you have there and does it change as the team changes?
• 15:48
  Nicky: I think that business values they can evolve, but they can't be at the whimsy of when the team changes, because here's the thing the team will find a way to live those values in their own unique way.
• 16:01
  Nicky: But the beautiful thing when you've got good business values is you can hire according to the values.
• 16:06
  Nicky: So it helps decision making around recruitment.
• 16:09
  Nicky: It can help with engagement and motivation of team.
• 16:12
  Nicky: It can give them a sense of purpose.
• 16:14
  Nicky: And it's really interesting because you and I have worked with similar coaches over the year.
• 16:18
  Nicky: Even before we were in business together and obviously now and there's this progression of we worked with a coach who was really adamant you have different set of values for business and different set of values for personal and then also fast forward about six years later, we worked with another coach who was really adamant.
• 16:34
  Nicky: You have the same values for business and for personal, and we were talking about this before because we're like so what did we land on?
• 16:41
  Nicky: We're always a big believer on go and learn and hear what people have to say and then come up with your own truth around this.
• 16:48
  Nicky: So, ness, what's your thoughts?
• 16:49
  Nicky: Is it separate?
• 16:50
  Nicky: Is it here?
• 16:51
  Nicky: How does it work?
• 16:52
  Nicky: What does it look like?
• 16:53
  Nicky: Because it can also feel quite overwhelming.
• 16:56
  Ness: Yeah, I think it's just keep it simple.
• 16:58
  Ness: You've got to bring it right back down to.
• 17:01
  Ness: The most simple way for me to look at it is understanding who I am first and then who I am in the business, and one of the things which is why I think it could differ like you still bring you right, everybody still brings who they are, the essence of you, especially if you're the owner of the business.
• 17:18
  Ness: You've created this through what you place value on, and I also think that there are different qualities and aspects that we need when it comes to working, and I think about my own experience through being coached when I started my business and needing to have some sort of driver in there, which I guess perseverance kind of falls into that category for me personally, but it's different than determination, or what are some of those other really masculine?
• 17:50
  Nicky: words Anacity hustle.
• 17:51
  Ness: Yeah, yeah, and results Absolutely.
• 17:54
  Ness: And I think at that time in my business career, being so green, I did need to lean into those values because they felt uncomfortable, so they were probably more aspirational rather than what came naturally to me.
• 18:09
  Ness: But by doing so, by valuing perseverance, by valuing determination, it meant that I could push through some challenging times.
• 18:18
  Ness: And I think about if you are in any business, anywhere, like you can have great times and hard times, and so there are some qualities.
• 18:28
  Ness: I think that you need to stand together.
• 18:30
  Ness: And the other thing that comes to mind too is, as your team grows, having a value around team collaboration or team belonging, a sense of belonging or connection.
• 18:41
  Ness: I think that's really important.
• 18:42
  Ness: That may not be as high a priority when it's just you as you start out.
• 18:47
  Ness: They're the thoughts that are coming to mind.
• 18:49
  Ness: I don't think I'm on the fence.
• 18:51
  Ness: I don't think I'm landing anywhere specifically other than to say it's very important to you first and that you need to I believe in a business have a set of values that could change and evolve as a business grows, just like depending on the season in life that you're in, as to what your personal values that you're going to prioritize over everything else.
• 19:11
  Ness: That's why things like for me, honesty is just a given, but I want to prioritize having a sense of connection, I want to prioritize being curious and I want to prioritize this perseverance.
• 19:23
  Nicky: Even that right there could be a good example of.
• 19:25
  Nicky: For you personally, honesty is just a given.
• 19:28
  Nicky: It's something that you value highly in life.
• 19:30
  Nicky: However, it's not a top three value because it's a given, it's done.
• 19:35
  Nicky: However, in a team, it might be worth having a value around honesty or openness or transparency, which is very similar.
• 19:42
  Nicky: You might want to have that in a team environment because it might not just be given to every single person in the team or that's something you really want to make sure is top of mind for the collective Look.
• 19:53
  Nicky: Where we've both landed on, where we've evolved to now, is we have our top three personal goals.
• 19:58
  Nicky: So values, not goals, and we also have business values.
• 20:02
  Nicky: What's interesting is that there's definitely a crossover when I look at any of our values.
• 20:07
  Nicky: Our business values are connection, humility, growth, impact and fun.
• 20:12
  Nicky: We've got the top five.
• 20:13
  Nicky: That's that filter of again coming back to the types of clients, the types of industries, the services, not taking ourselves too seriously.
• 20:21
  Nicky: All of that comes into that business side of things.
• 20:24
  Nicky: But yeah, it feels like the top three, the personal ones.
• 20:27
  Nicky: They're personal.
• 20:28
  Nicky: So for me it's purpose, joy and compassion, and that's something no matter where I am and what I do I want to be experiencing because, again, it's the emotional states we want to feel on a consistent basis.
• 20:39
  Nicky: And so I guess what I'm hearing and what we're sharing in this is there's no 100% right or wrong, but you do have to have some values that guide your decision making, your behaviors, your actions, and I do think that there's an evolution that when your team grows, it does become about the collective.
• 20:56
  Nicky: So it makes sense that there are some differences, and I don't want to be on all the time when I'm not in the business.
• 21:02
  Nicky: When we're in the business, we're here to have fun, we're here to have impact and growth and blah, but then also I've got a different energy sometimes, sometimes outside of work.
• 21:09
  Ness: So, anyway, we'd love to hear your thoughts because is there a right answer?
• 21:12
  Nicky: I'm not sure, but we're on the journey.
• 21:14
  Nicky: We're here to lean into this space and there's some key threads here around the importance of understanding you and your values and, as you say, ness, as a leader and every business owner is a leader and as a leader, we start with ourselves and then we're able to lead others.
• 21:31
  Nicky: So what would be one action that people can take in terms of this conversation around values?
• 21:38
  Ness: But given the importance I think that understanding and knowing your values we said it before it's around being able to help you make a decision.
• 21:48
  Ness: So I come back to this example of this person I was talking to, if that person really lent into their top three values, if they knew them and understood them and understand why it really mattered to them.
• 22:01
  Ness: So there's a process that we work with our clients on that goes quite deep into really getting to understand what priority order they go in and what does it actually mean to you, because my terminology of connection and yours, nick, would be probably different.
• 22:16
  Ness: We're not all the same in the way that we perceive or describe certain emotions, and so to know those, that decision becomes instant.
• 22:25
  Ness: It is this work that's providing lots of money In alignment with my top three values.
• 22:31
  Ness: Bang guess or no, that's my certainty that I'm making the right choice to stay.
• 22:36
  Ness: I think the key takeaway here that the actionable action in the next 24 hours is to really reflect on what are your top three values, and I truly believe that most people will say I know my values only been alignment, but when you got to sit down and write it down and say what it means, I don't know how many people actually, unless I work with the coach and go through that process necessarily.
• 22:59
  Ness: So your top three values, just off the top of your head, what do you think they are, what or what do you want them to be, and are you living in alignment with that?
• 23:09
  Ness: And that's the key question, because if you're not, then something's got to change, and that's one of the areas when I'm working with a new client around values is to start having Half doesn't know so ways that you can experience that emotion every single day.
• 23:26
  Ness: So, for example, when you're, if you have love as a top value and you get that experience and emotion through being with your family, and then you have to go away for work, so it can't always be when I see my kids or when I do this, what is it?
• 23:41
  Ness: What is it going to be when you aren't in that environment?
• 23:44
  Ness: What's going to push you through?
• 23:46
  Ness: So there's so much depth you can go into to make sure that you're living in alignment with it, but the first starting point has to be do you know what they are and are you feeling that you are congruent with how you're turning up at work and in life every day?
• 24:02
  Ness: Based on that, so that, my friends, is your actionable action to do in the next 24 hours, and we trust that this has been of value to you, talking about values in life and business.
• 24:15
  Ness: Any final words, nick.
• 24:16
  Nicky: I think just take yourself lightly, see if you get stuck on it and that's feedback that this is work for you to do and remember that icky feeling we talked about.
• 24:25
  Nicky: If you've got that icky feeling, something's not quite right.
• 24:27
  Nicky: Most of the time it comes back to not living in alignment with your values.
• 24:32
  Nicky: So it's a fun place to explore, but don't over complicate it.
• 24:36
  Nicky: Take yourselves lightly and thank you so much again for joining us today.
• 24:40
  Nicky: We can't wait to get into your listening years again next week.
• 24:43
  Nicky: See you later.
• 24:44
  Nicky: Thanks for listening to today's app.
• 24:46
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• 24:50
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• 24:57
  Nicky: Ness and I are obsessed with helping you break through your business and life barriers to get you to your next frontier of growth.
• 25:06
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• 25:10
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• 25:27
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• 25:34
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• 25:36
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• 25:39
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• 25:43
  Nicky: Until next time, happy listening and here's to thriving in business and life.