Latest / FINE is a 4-Letter Word / 26. (S1E26) Using Your Values As A Filter with Nicole BZ

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26. (S1E26) Using Your Values As A Filter with Nicole BZ · FINE is a 4-Letter Word

• 0:02
  Lori Saitz: Hello, and welcome to Fine is a 4-Letter Word. My
• 0:05
  guest today is Nicole BZ. And Nicole and I were introduced by
• 0:11
  the magnificent Carolyn Herfurth. So I just want to give
• 0:14
  a shout out to her and say welcome to the podcast, Nicole.
• 0:19
  Nicole BZ: Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. I'm truly
• 0:22
  honored to be here because fuck fine.
• 0:25
  Lori Saitz: That's right. That's what we say around here. Yeah.
• 0:30
  So yeah, I have a lot of notes from our original conversation,
• 0:34
  and I am super eager about getting into hearing your story
• 0:38
  sharing your story with with all the listeners, and let's start
• 0:42
  out with what were the beliefs and values that were instilled
• 0:48
  in you as you were growing up, that perhaps contributed to some
• 0:54
  of the decisions and pads that you took as you grew up?
• 0:58
  Nicole BZ: Fantastic question, I have first generation and so I
• 1:03
  was very much taught to work and work hard. I was also taught
• 1:09
  that, you know, they can take everything, but they can't take
• 1:12
  what's up in here, and I'm pointing at my brain hole for
• 1:15
  everybody who can't see. So you know, essentially, what you
• 1:18
  learn what you know, and what you do, is who you are. And I
• 1:24
  have carried that with me. I went through I have actually a
• 1:28
  survivor, I had cancer when I was younger, so that just
• 1:31
  compounded that work ethic that take life. You know, you are in
• 1:37
  control of your own experience, you create your own reality. And
• 1:40
  the fastest way to change anything is to change your
• 1:42
  perspective. And then you just put one foot in front of the
• 1:45
  other and you keep going the only way you fail is if you
• 1:47
  quit.
• 1:48
  Lori Saitz: Were you taught that failure that that's what failure
• 1:51
  meant was the only way to fail is to quit, or was there a diff?
• 1:55
  Nicole BZ: I don't know, there was lots of definitions. My
• 2:01
  parents have a fairly narrow view of what successes and I
• 2:05
  think for most of us, you know, it looks like a mortgage and two
• 2:09
  kids, half a dog and a career that you spend 40 years then
• 2:14
  with a 401k plan that will carry you after those that was the
• 2:17
  definition of success. So very much carved out a very different
• 2:22
  definition for myself and a path that I walk.
• 2:25
  Unknown: Yeah. So then what? So many questions. Okay, so tell,
• 2:30
  cuz I know a little bit about your path. So share a little bit
• 2:33
  about where you went first, on your career path. And then I'm
• 2:38
  also curious to know how that went over in your family, given
• 2:41
  what you just said.
• 2:43
  Thank you. So I'll try and keep it brief. Because it's been it's
• 2:46
  been a long and winding road. So I started working really young,
• 2:52
  I got my first job at 14, I worked full time while I was in
• 2:56
  college. And I mean, I didn't even go to graduation, I went to
• 2:59
  work that you know, and I keep going back to this fine idea
• 3:05
  because that's where you and I connected. You know, everything
• 3:07
  was fine. I was I had a leadership position and an
• 3:10
  amazing organization I was, you know, earning $50,000 a year
• 3:15
  before I even graduated from college it I was on the quote
• 3:19
  unquote, right path, but it just wasn't doing it for me. And so I
• 3:26
  took a giant leap of faith I because I'd worked so much I
• 3:29
  never got like that year abroad experience. And traveling is
• 3:31
  something really close to me. So again, long story short, I ended
• 3:34
  up in Australia. Following my heart following my passion,
• 3:39
  which was music, as much as I love the creative arts, my
• 3:44
  strength has always been in business. So despite the
• 3:47
  positions that I put myself in, I always ended up managing that
• 3:51
  space. And so I just kind of went with that and started my
• 3:54
  first business at 23 started several more to my family's
• 3:59
  disdain. And the good news is, is I in my perseverance, I've
• 4:05
  demonstrated to them that I'm okay, and they don't have to
• 4:08
  worry about me. But does that mean they're on board? Or they
• 4:12
  understand? No, and that's the thing that's okay. I mean, one
• 4:16
  of the things that happens when you're a trailblazer, would you
• 4:18
  create your own definition of success? Would you say fuck you
• 4:21
  fine. You are confident and who you are and how you're showing
• 4:25
  up and what you're doing. And it's okay if other people don't
• 4:27
  get that. And so I think I answered your question. Yeah.
• 4:32
  Just to kind of wrap it up and where I'm at now. So ironically,
• 4:37
  ironic. Yeah, my mom got sick. And so I left Australia and move
• 4:41
  back to the States, burned it all down, you know, had to start
• 4:44
  completely over. ended up in business again, and working in
• 4:50
  music, which I never thought was gonna happen. But when you take
• 4:52
  those crazy leaps of faith, amazing things tend to happen.
• 4:57
  So I now have a A business where I have the flexibility I'm able
• 5:02
  to go back and forth and support my mom. I actually just got back
• 5:04
  yesterday, and I'm able to work from anywhere and still
• 5:09
  trailblazing and still confusing the hell out of my parents. So
• 5:15
  some things never change.
• 5:17
  Lori Saitz: I do you have siblings?
• 5:20
  Nicole BZ: I do I have two younger brothers.
• 5:21
  Lori Saitz: Did they follow a more traditional path? I'm just
• 5:24
  curious.
• 5:24
  Nicole BZ: My youngest absolutely. My brother, the
• 5:27
  middle child, he's he gets a lot of support from my parents for a
• 5:32
  variety of different reasons. So we're all doing completely
• 5:35
  different things. But okay, yeah, the My youngest brother is
• 5:38
  carrying the torch. So hopefully he has some grandbabies for my
• 5:41
  parents soon.
• 5:43
  Lori Saitz: Right. Right. But you're the oldest so that also I
• 5:47
  am. Yeah. And so my it makes us the, like, we have to clear the
• 5:52
  trail for the ones behind us.
• 5:54
  Nicole BZ: Oh, yeah. He's, he's good about admitting that I've
• 5:58
  made things a hell of a lot easier for him. I may, I may
• 6:01
  have broken a few souls in that process.
• 6:06
  Lori Saitz: Again, that's more about them than you. Yeah, true.
• 6:10
  Right. Right. Yeah. So when so we had talked so you spent 18
• 6:14
  years in the music industry?
• 6:17
  Nicole BZ: I did. Uh, yeah. I mean, like, I think I started
• 6:22
  around 19 and I officially retired at 38. So yeah, it was a
• 6:28
  wild ride.
• 6:30
  Lori Saitz: What was it that made you decide to leave that
• 6:35
  industry? Cuz it's not I mean, like people, you know, again,
• 6:39
  people look at it from the outside, and they're like, Oh,
• 6:41
  my God, that sounds so romantic, not romantic, what like, just
• 6:46
  like, it's just sounds so cool.
• 6:47
  Nicole BZ: Oh it was amazing. And the my last step, my last
• 6:51
  couple years, where were dreams that I didn't know were
• 6:54
  possible, I was working with one of my best friends with a an
• 6:58
  artist to get to do all of the things that you dream about
• 7:01
  artists getting to do you know, headlining that all of the
• 7:05
  festivals that you've heard of making, you know, six figure
• 7:08
  checks and a gag and traveling around the world and a list and
• 7:12
  it was it was a dream, it was a dream. I had always said, since
• 7:18
  I got started, that I was not planning on being a lifer, which
• 7:23
  is how they refer to it. And at least in the music industry, I
• 7:26
  would assume it happens in other industries as well. And I mean,
• 7:29
  even 20 years is a pretty good run. And so at you know, at 20,
• 7:33
  I was like not past 25 and 25, I was like not past 30, and so on
• 7:37
  and so forth. And I don't know if I kind of set myself up for a
• 7:42
  phoenix rising from the ashes moment with those limitations.
• 7:45
  But my intention had never been to spend the rest of my life in
• 7:52
  artists management, and it was just what was one of those
• 7:54
  things that happened where I would see a problem and I saw
• 7:56
  that and then I built a business around it, problem solved and
• 8:00
  then built a business around it. And so I started making little
• 8:03
  mistakes. just annoying a typo here. Incorrect date on a
• 8:08
  Facebook post there and I mean, it feels trivial but when a
• 8:12
  million people are looking at that Facebook post as the
• 8:14
  announced for the next day, that's it is a big deal. And the
• 8:18
  more I tried to overcorrect, the the more frequent these mistakes
• 8:24
  were and it was one of those you know, my my friend and I were
• 8:28
  like, what's what's going on here, and she, thankfully, and
• 8:31
  don't get me wrong, this was probably one of the hardest
• 8:33
  conversations I've ever had. But she said, You know, I don't
• 8:37
  think you want this anymore. I don't think this isn't what
• 8:40
  where we started this wasn't you know, where you're setting up
• 8:43
  the gig and you're touring and you're managing your tour
• 8:46
  managing and you're with the band and you know, you're
• 8:49
  lumping it, and you're the one collecting the money at the end
• 8:51
  of the night. This is like, you know, you have a driver that
• 8:54
  picks you up and drops you off 30 minutes before the show and
• 8:57
  everybody like walks out on the stage and then like afterwards,
• 9:00
  you can figure out if you're gonna you know, so it was just a
• 9:03
  very different thing than what I had originally signed up for.
• 9:05
  And for most people, like that's where that's where they wanted
• 9:08
  to be. But for me, based on my behavior and how I was showing
• 9:13
  up in my day to day, it was very clear it's not where I wanted to
• 9:16
  be. And so to hear that reflected back at me again, lots
• 9:19
  of tears. But she she was incredible. And we were able to
• 9:26
  have like a very amicable and separation that you know, took a
• 9:30
  couple of months to figure out and it gave me the opportunity
• 9:33
  to really figure out where to from here. So yeah, and it's
• 9:37
  it's it's been my key indicator of burnout because my
• 9:40
  inclination is to work too much and over schedule. I love what I
• 9:43
  do. I'm so lucky that I get to do what I'm passionate about.
• 9:48
  It's still work and so when I start to double book, my
• 9:51
  calendar when I start to forget things that I think needed to
• 9:57
  get done that you know, fall under a certain threshold. I
• 10:00
  realized that I'm probably overdoing it, I need to take a
• 10:02
  step back. Or I just really need to check and make sure that this
• 10:06
  still feels good. This is still where I want to be and make
• 10:09
  changes accordingly.
• 10:11
  Lori Saitz: Yeah, so checking in with yourself I so what was it
• 10:14
  that you? What were some of the the tools maybe that you used or
• 10:19
  the things that you did to help you in that transition period,
• 10:24
  figure out, Okay, I don't want to do this anymore. But what is
• 10:27
  it that I do want to do?
• 10:29
  Nicole BZ: This is not a shameless plug, this is real
• 10:32
  talk, I hired a coach. So one of the things that I did do was a
• 10:37
  yoga a yoga teacher training, yoga had always been like my
• 10:41
  mental health once you know, I did the therapy and medication.
• 10:45
  And as I kind of, was able to create healthier habits. In my
• 10:49
  day to day life, I was able to step away from some of those
• 10:53
  other modalities of healing. And yoga was has been and will
• 10:57
  always be a huge part of that for me, at my yoga studio, we
• 11:00
  were doing sort of like a, you know, make make your year
• 11:04
  awesome, or some type of workshop and I met another
• 11:06
  coach, and I wasn't a coach yet. She She ended, she talked about
• 11:14
  her life and her lifestyle. And I said that that sounds
• 11:17
  familiar. I don't know, I don't know who I am, if I'm not a band
• 11:20
  manager, but I do know, like, I need a computer, and I need
• 11:25
  flexibility. And especially with traveling to be with my mom as
• 11:28
  well. I have to create a life that that looks that at least
• 11:32
  ticks those boxes, she just so happened to be a career coach.
• 11:37
  And I thought, okay, I'm making a major career transition, I'm
• 11:39
  going to get some help with this. That was, I mean, I still
• 11:44
  work with this woman, I am now a coach, I ended up studying at
• 11:48
  the same place where she studied. And that taught me not
• 11:51
  only I mean, it didn't just give me the space to figure out what
• 11:55
  next, but it stopped taught me how to how to iterate on that
• 11:59
  repeatedly, and how to check myself when I am getting into
• 12:03
  those spaces of burnout, or why I am letting fear make decisions
• 12:06
  for me and what fine feels like because fine, can be a useful
• 12:12
  barometer, especially for someone like me, who is who
• 12:15
  moves very, very quickly and takes really, really big risks.
• 12:18
  like is this fine? Is it healthy questions sometimes. But fine,
• 12:24
  is as a be all and end all are a place where I can stay, it
• 12:27
  doesn't work for me. So I've just got so many more tools in
• 12:31
  my belt now as a result of of asking for that help getting
• 12:34
  that support, and then applying that support as I've moved
• 12:37
  forward and created more expansion and growth.
• 12:39
  Lori Saitz: Yeah, but really yoga was kind of the catalyst
• 12:43
  for you that he wants you to this coach.
• 12:46
  Nicole BZ: Yeah, I signed up because I had been I'd literally
• 12:49
  been traveling and on the road for, like over 10 years. So I
• 12:54
  signed up for the teacher training so that I couldn't
• 12:57
  leave. Like I had like, an extended program. Yeah, it was a
• 13:01
  six month program. And it was every weekend. And you couldn't
• 13:04
  you couldn't miss one. Yeah. So that that's actually why why.
• 13:11
  And I'm one of those people that you know, I was in a yoga class,
• 13:13
  I think, just contemplating like the mistakes I had been making
• 13:18
  and my own happiness. And like I was existing in this space of
• 13:21
  fine, but aware that I was just existing. And then they
• 13:25
  announced the yoga teacher training. And then I looked into
• 13:27
  it, and then I had this conversation with my partner and
• 13:29
  I was like, Okay, well, this will this will anchor me this
• 13:33
  will give me the space, I now have a six month runway here
• 13:36
  until I take off again. And so yeah, it was a combination of
• 13:39
  things.
• 13:40
  Lori Saitz: It sounds like you took inspired action, though.
• 13:44
  Nicole BZ: 100%
• 13:45
  Lori Saitz: That's that's one of the key things is not just doing
• 13:48
  something to do something, but you listened and followed kind
• 13:54
  of followed the breadcrumbs if you will, that to an inspired
• 13:58
  action that led you to the next thing.
• 14:02
  Nicole BZ: Yeah, and oftentimes the next thing didn't get like
• 14:06
  there was a breadcrumb. So I definitely got distracted and
• 14:10
  yoga teacher training and was like, Oh my gosh, I'm going to
• 14:12
  be a yoga teacher. And I stepped that out. And then I thought I
• 14:18
  realized fairly quickly, I don't love this. And then it's like,
• 14:21
  well, is it just because you're not good at it? Or is it just
• 14:22
  because this is something new? And it's like No, I mean,
• 14:25
  really, I did this to deepen my practice and to then enable
• 14:28
  myself to be able to practice anywhere, anytime I didn't need
• 14:31
  a class or a studio. That's freedom for me. But I definitely
• 14:37
  It is like I started walking down a path and I was like, Oh
• 14:40
  no, this isn't this wasn't this wasn't the This wasn't where I
• 14:44
  thought this inspired action would lead me or doesn't feel
• 14:47
  the way that I thought it would feel. So I'm going to take a few
• 14:49
  steps back and then step out something else. And that's how I
• 14:53
  ended up back in Colorado, which is another long story but that I
• 14:57
  was here and I had a month. On the side of a mountain, and I
• 15:01
  thought, this is where I want to be, and I don't have a plan. I
• 15:05
  don't have anything other than this feeling. And this
• 15:08
  inspiration of this is, this is what my next step is. And then
• 15:13
  that led to, you know, a whole bunch of different opportunities
• 15:16
  that I stepped out and then realized, you know, so it was it
• 15:20
  was a lot of trial. I don't want to say trial and error, but
• 15:23
  trying things really stepping into Is this where I want to be,
• 15:26
  How good does this feel? Is this fine? Or is this fabulous?
• 15:30
  Lori Saitz: How good does this feel? That is, yeah, that is
• 15:32
  such a great way to look at it into a question to ask yourself
• 15:39
  as you're doing it. And the other thing you mentioned, it is
• 15:41
  something that we've talked about in previous episodes and
• 15:43
  keeps coming up, is you don't have to see the whole staircase,
• 15:47
  just take one step, follow that one breadcrumb, if that's all
• 15:52
  you can see, then do that thing. And then the next thing will be
• 15:56
  opened up to you as you go. But you're not going to see the next
• 15:59
  thing until you take that first step. Follow that first
• 16:02
  breadcrumb, yep.
• 16:04
  Nicole BZ: On because if you're trying to do something
• 16:06
  completely new that you've never done before, and for a lot of
• 16:09
  the people that I work with, no one's ever done before. There
• 16:13
  isn't a map, there isn't a trail of breadcrumbs. There isn't a
• 16:16
  blueprint, there's one step forward. And then from there,
• 16:20
  you get to see the next step, but you're not going to know the
• 16:23
  how on the one. And it's it's, your brains going to tell you
• 16:27
  no, but your hearts gonna be like, yeah. Yeah, the more you
• 16:32
  can just tune into that compass and that guide of No, this feels
• 16:35
  good. take another step.
• 16:37
  Lori Saitz: Right, this feels good. And as you also mentioned,
• 16:41
  if it's not leading you where you thought it was going to go,
• 16:44
  or it doesn't feel good. As you continue, you can make a
• 16:48
  different decision. Nothing is permanent here. Nope.
• 16:54
  Nicole BZ: Well, in 2020 hindsight, when you look back,
• 16:58
  you've made it all work. That's why you're standing here right
• 17:01
  now ready to take another step. So chances are, you're gonna
• 17:05
  make this work, too. And yeah, you're either gonna win or
• 17:09
  learn. That's the way I look at it.
• 17:11
  Lori Saitz: Yeah, going back to when we were talking at the
• 17:13
  beginning about what's the definition of failure? That's
• 17:17
  Yeah,
• 17:18
  Nicole BZ: yeah. That's just standing still going. Giving up.
• 17:22
  Lori Saitz: Giving up? Yes. Yeah, we haven't. We haven't
• 17:25
  used that one as the definition, but I agree giving up. So when
• 18:13
  we talked before this interview, we were talking a little bit
• 18:17
  about defining, defining for yourself what your values are,
• 18:23
  and then using those as a filter to help you make decisions on
• 18:26
  how to go forward, since we're talking about making decisions,
• 18:29
  how have you used that? Or how do you advise people to use to
• 18:34
  tap into that as a tool?
• 18:37
  Nicole BZ: Love it. So in that, like, you don't know how you
• 18:40
  don't know and you just got to take one step forward. When you
• 18:44
  use your values as a filter, you're that step is going to be
• 18:49
  a positive, expansive step. So for me, it's fun, excellence,
• 18:54
  adventure and authenticity. Those Those are my values. And
• 19:00
  so if I can take those four boxes off, I'm saying yes, there
• 19:04
  have been a lot of things that if I hadn't put it through that
• 19:07
  filter, I use the example of working with my accountants.
• 19:10
  Okay. It is a tenuous relationship mainly I have I
• 19:15
  have four different businesses and so just me getting my books
• 19:19
  It took us a couple years just for the bookkeeping and their
• 19:22
  systems and my systems to align and then you know, there's
• 19:25
  deadlines there's expectations and when I was having kind of a
• 19:29
  temper tantrum because I think this was before everything
• 19:32
  that's been going on you know, we were we were pushing may and
• 19:36
  my taxes hadn't been filed and I thought you know, I'm gonna fire
• 19:38
  these guys. And I went through my value filter because it it
• 19:42
  you know, everybody knows like getting a new Firstly, you want
• 19:44
  to, I like loyalty. I like relationships. And I thought,
• 19:48
  Okay, this is uh, this is feels like a knee jerk reaction
• 19:50
  because I'm pissed off right now. I don't like making
• 19:52
  decisions, but I have a lot of energy around them. So let's use
• 19:54
  your values as a filter here. And is it fun? No, but like,
• 19:58
  it's working with your fountains fun? I don't know. Is it
• 20:02
  adventurous? Yeah, I mean, they're teaching me a hell of a
• 20:04
  lot. They have such a large base of clients, but they have a very
• 20:10
  strenuous system that they put you through. And yeah, I'm
• 20:14
  learning something new every day. That's my definition of an
• 20:16
  adventure. Is it authentic? I'm expressing my needs, they're
• 20:20
  expressing their needs there. I have a lot of trust with them.
• 20:23
  And is it excellent. I mean, they guarantee what they do, and
• 20:27
  they'll backup you if you ever get audited. And I was like,
• 20:29
  Okay, I'm going to step this out a little bit further, I'm going
• 20:33
  to give this three more months and just see where we land. And
• 20:35
  as I advocated for myself, I, I worked with one of their
• 20:40
  bookkeepers, so that at the to ensure that my bookkeeping was
• 20:43
  done in alignment with how their systems work, I got to learn
• 20:45
  more. And then I ended up getting a massive, massive
• 20:49
  return, because it turns out, they've been going through the
• 20:51
  last five years of my taxes, not just this, this tax year,
• 20:54
  because we'd created some new business structures. And it was
• 20:58
  like, Okay, great, you know, had I reacted in the moment of
• 21:01
  frustration and doubt I would have, I would have started down
• 21:04
  one path, but I used my values, they kept me in check. And then
• 21:08
  I ended up getting a really fun reward. So all all was good. And
• 21:13
  for, when you don't know the how on the one, you're you're
• 21:16
  looking for evidence, you're looking for proof, but you when
• 21:18
  you're creating something totally new, all you can do is
• 21:21
  look at the success you've got behind you and then trust you're
• 21:23
  going to step it out and values are just, I think, a fantastic
• 21:27
  parameter within which to go, yes, this feels right, or, you
• 21:30
  know what, like, this isn't an alignment. And it doesn't take
• 21:35
  off three or four, the my value, so it's it's a no for right now.
• 21:39
  And we'll see maybe things will change.
• 21:41
  Lori Saitz: Right? How did you arrive at those values like I
• 21:46
  did? Was there a exercise that you did that helped you
• 21:50
  understand what your values are?
• 21:53
  Nicole BZ: I love that question. So there are, I think, like
• 21:57
  every leadership psychology MBA program has an exercise akin to
• 22:04
  a values assessment, Brene Brown, and her Dare to Lead.
• 22:08
  I've not actually read that book, but she has a PDF online
• 22:11
  that I will direct people to that has a whole list of values.
• 22:14
  So it's it's a very, very common exercise. It's interesting, I
• 22:18
  find that a lot of people think about it from their personal
• 22:21
  lives, or they don't I believe that your values evolve. I mean,
• 22:26
  the easiest example as soon as you have children or potentially
• 22:29
  get married, or go through like a near death experience, like
• 22:32
  everything in your life kind of kind of changes, right? And so I
• 22:36
  believe that values evolve some you know, if you've read Ray
• 22:39
  Dalio principles, he would argue that there are overarching
• 22:42
  things that you're born with and never change, I'm sure maybe for
• 22:45
  some people. So when I start to feel a little bit panicky and
• 22:49
  weird, I call them my mid year crises. Because like, every six
• 22:53
  months, I'm like, Oh my god, what the hell am I doing? I'll
• 22:56
  do I'll just go back through values assessment. And it's
• 22:58
  basically just going okay, what's the most important thing
• 23:01
  if it's useful, there's a ton of lists online that you can just
• 23:04
  like go like sir list of values or values assessment, and you'll
• 23:07
  circle 15 to 20. And then you'll start to look at it like how did
• 23:11
  I arrive at authentic well, truth, commitment, loyalty, work
• 23:17
  ethic, a lot of these things that are really important to me,
• 23:20
  roll up into that term. And what I realized the reason authentic
• 23:26
  is the word that resonated is this idea that what I know to be
• 23:28
  true in this moment is an empowers empowering myself to be
• 23:33
  able to change my mind, and voice that new reality, whatever
• 23:38
  I need to that's really what authentic embodies for me, and
• 23:41
  it might mean something different to somebody else. The
• 23:44
  challenge is if we have 15 to 20 values, like that's just a lot
• 23:47
  of boxes to be continually like thinking about so if I am
• 23:52
  refining it, those those four have really carried me and
• 23:56
  probably for the last four or five years. Adventure was one an
• 24:01
  excellent, you know, those were kind of words that I've played
• 24:04
  around with, but adventure for me rolls up, spontaneity,
• 24:07
  challenge, yeah, learning, development growth. You know, so
• 24:13
  again, there's a lot that can kind of be included in in some
• 24:18
  of these terms. And you know, have have fun with that play
• 24:21
  with that. And it's, I find it really useful in business
• 24:25
  specifically, because your values are how your long term
• 24:29
  loyal customers, buyers, clients are going to connect with you
• 24:32
  and why they're going to keep coming back from so yeah.
• 24:37
  Lori Saitz: Right. Why? Because there are plenty of people who
• 24:39
  can offer what you offer, potentially. Why would they pay
• 24:43
  you and it always comes back to because of you they connect with
• 24:48
  you. And they're connecting with you on that level. I mean,
• 24:53
  hopefully on several levels, but it starts with the values. I
• 24:56
  like what you said about re evaluating the value Because
• 25:00
  they evolve, they change they do. And this is one of the
• 25:04
  things Yeah, when I'm working with my clients in the fog being
• 25:07
  find experiences, we start with values and getting clarity on
• 25:14
  where what it is that you really, truly want. And one of
• 25:19
  the foundational things to figuring that out is to
• 25:22
  understand what you value.
• 25:25
  Nicole BZ: Yep. When often times, I find that when we're
• 25:29
  experiencing friction and struggle in our day, there's a
• 25:34
  misalignment with our values. So we feel like we're having to
• 25:38
  sacrifice one of these things that's incredibly important to
• 25:41
  us. And what I find really interesting about the challenge
• 25:45
  of business and, and professional values, is, in our
• 25:50
  personal lives, we can just be like, nope, get out of my way
• 25:53
  like these are this is what's most important to me, like, take
• 25:55
  it or leave it. But in business, we're often working with people
• 25:59
  that we need to address the fact that we're having some friction
• 26:04
  here and negotiate it. And so a family is super important to
• 26:07
  you. And excellence is really important to me, and we've got a
• 26:11
  client who's just called at 5pm. On a Friday, I might get really
• 26:15
  upset about the fact that you want to go home and you might
• 26:18
  get really upset about the fact that my expectation is is that
• 26:21
  you would stay. And there's an interesting opportunity there
• 26:24
  for both of us to honor what's important, and then figure out
• 26:27
  how we're going to move forward with us without anyone ever
• 26:30
  having to sacrifice or then build resentment or, you know,
• 26:33
  all of the other things that kind of come along when we feel
• 26:36
  like we're martyring ourselves,
• 26:38
  Lori Saitz: yes, to look at it as a growth opportunity. Yeah, I
• 26:42
  was just having this conversation this afternoon with
• 26:45
  a friend about working with difficult clients. And my stance
• 26:50
  was, well, when you're an entrepreneur and you're running
• 26:52
  your own business, you can tell them to go away and not have to
• 26:56
  work with them. And her and her vision of it is well I see it as
• 27:01
  an opportunity to grow and that they're challenging me in some
• 27:05
  way. That gives me an opportunity to grow. So two
• 27:11
  different. I guess it depends how how much they're pushing
• 27:14
  you. Whether you whether it's worth it or you just don't wanna
• 27:19
  Nicole BZ: you know, the challenging client can mean a
• 27:21
  lot of different things it can mean someone who's like very
• 27:24
  much doubt space and they don't they don't know if they can do
• 27:28
  it. And so that is an opportunity for growth but if
• 27:30
  you have someone who's just making a ton of excuses, and not
• 27:34
  taking accountability and then blaming you for it, that's you
• 27:37
  know, like two very different values there are being honored.
• 27:42
  So
• 27:42
  Lori Saitz: yeah, and that's what our conversation was
• 27:44
  around. So it's interesting that you're bringing it up now.
• 27:48
  Nicole BZ: Yeah, isn't it funny how that always happens?
• 27:50
  Lori Saitz: Yeah, clearly the universe is sending us a message
• 27:54
  around that particular topic not just me because here we are
• 27:58
  sharing it with everybody now so exactly everyone benefits
• 28:02
  Nicole BZ: well, and this is normal like that it is a it is
• 28:07
  normal to feel frazzled and challenged and intimidated by
• 28:12
  what's happening and that's where again I find like this the
• 28:15
  values are an anchor and then all of the uncertainty that
• 28:18
  we're experiencing you can go back to them and go Okay, well
• 28:22
  Am I taking these off? Am I safe? Am I secure? Great. And if
• 28:27
  not, it's like well are these still important to me? Yeah,
• 28:30
  they are okay well then something in my experience needs
• 28:33
  to shift it's not me I'm not doing anything wrong here but
• 28:36
  like if I you know, my boss is continually asking me to stay or
• 28:39
  you know, my client is continually asking me to work
• 28:42
  late and family is my number one, then this isn't going to
• 28:44
  work that needs to shift and I can address that simply by
• 28:48
  saying like these are these are my values and these are kind of
• 28:51
  non negotiable right now. So how can we either shift what's
• 28:54
  happening externally, or just agree that this isn't a good fit
• 28:58
  any longer,
• 28:59
  Lori Saitz: Right. Yes, that's so good. All right. That is a
• 29:05
  fantastic place to leave this conversation however before we
• 29:10
  do I need to ask you what is the song that you listen to? When
• 29:16
  you need an extra boost of energy? You seem pretty
• 29:19
  energetic as as the as a person overall anyway, but when you
• 29:22
  need extra energy you need that boost of enthusiasm. What's the
• 29:26
  song that you can't sit still too?
• 29:30
  Nicole BZ: Well, so like as someone who worked in music
• 29:32
  picking one song I know is a challenge but the song that's
• 29:37
  really stuck with me is Gloria Gaynor is I will survive
• 29:41
  personally like 70s disco anytime I need to like a quick
• 29:44
  pick me up that is a go to that song for a lot of different
• 29:48
  reasons has been a part of my experience for since my
• 29:53
  childhood. And it's kind of an inside joke with some of my like
• 29:58
  inner people as well. So it's a pretty special tune but yeah for
• 30:02
  a lot of different reasons like that one just gets me going
• 30:06
  Lori Saitz: That is such a good one and then you you said the
• 30:10
  Gloria Gaynor version because the other Yeah, it's been redone
• 30:13
  a few times but that's the original.
• 30:15
  Nicole BZ: Because it's so good.
• 30:17
  Lori Saitz: It is it is so good. Yeah. Nicole, where can people
• 30:22
  get in touch with you if they want to continue this
• 30:24
  conversation?
• 30:26
  Nicole BZ: Um, well my favorite form of communication is text
• 30:30
  and so people can text me 720-704-4865. I love solving
• 30:35
  business conundrums. So hit me up with a problem you're
• 30:39
  experiencing in your business. I'm on all the socials, my
• 30:43
  handles the BZ channel, and my website is Nicole BZ dot com.
• 30:48
  Lori Saitz: Okay, I will put links to all of that in the show
• 30:52
  notes. Thank you so much for joining me today on Fine is a
• 30:56
  4-Letter Word.
• 30:56
  Nicole BZ: Oh absolute pleasure. And thank you for creating this
• 30:58
  resource for your listeners. And thank you listeners for
• 31:02
  listening. This is just so powerful and I just appreciate
• 31:06
  everything you're doing for the community.
• 31:09
  Lori Saitz: Thank you