Latest / The Shift Podcast / 33. Breaking Glass Ceilings

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33. Breaking Glass Ceilings · The Shift Podcast

0:00
Welcome to Frontline Static, a podcast that helps bridge the
0:03
gap between healthcare workers and 1st responders and
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everything in between. Nicholas, thank you so much for
0:16
joining me this week on the podcast.
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I'm really excited to just chat, have a informal conversation
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with you and kind of prick your brain on all the things.
0:25
Absolutely. Thank you, Janessa.
0:27
Thank you for having me, Okay. Tell everybody out there a
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little bit about yourself. Oh my gosh, how much time do you
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have? Well, right now, so I'm
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currently in EMT and my local agency in New York in process of
0:41
waiting to be accepted to nursing school, which might be a
0:44
pivot to paramedic in the in the military, specifically the Air
0:48
Force. But we're still toying around
0:49
with the idea. But.
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That's a little bit about myself.
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I love to do extreme tasks, difficult things such as
0:55
marathons, triathlons, anything that really pushed me outside my
0:59
comfort zone. And a bit of an adrenaline
1:01
junkie, too. Yeah, I think that is
1:03
everything. Yeah, Perfect.
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I love that because I think a lot of people can relate to
1:07
that. I think that there's a lot of
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people in this industry who are like adventurous and love to do
1:12
those sorts of things as well. It's kind of like the nature of
1:15
our job a little bit as well. I think it is.
1:18
I think the nature of our job attracts a specific type of
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person. Yeah, for sure.
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We gotta be a little, little bit insane to, to deal with what we
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gotta deal with. But I think it's.
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I think it's all good, great fun, great stuff.
1:29
Yeah. What's interesting about
1:32
coaching you is that actually I don't think I had any clients
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besides you that have had coaching previous to us working
1:40
together. And so if you could talk about
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that a little bit, like kind of what coaching is done for you
1:46
and your life and like what's done for you currently right
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now? Absolutely, Absolutely.
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So this is my first rodeo with coaching.
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I have done coaching in the past and the very first.
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Coach that I remember, I think he charged upwards of like $3000
2:01
for four sessions. And this was back when I was a
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junior in either college or a sophomore.
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So I think I was in a network marketing at the time, but I he
2:11
offered direct information but I wasn't ready to receive said
2:14
information like that awareness wasn't there yet and I just, I
2:18
wasn't ready. So then I did it again, like in,
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in terms of personal training, in terms of.
2:26
You know, the fitness space where again, I still wasn't
2:30
ready to receive the information.
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It was getting there. My mindset was getting there,
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but it wasn't ready. It wasn't until, I believe two
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years ago that, you know, I met one of the coaches that I have
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now, you know, former special operations guy, 75th Ranger
2:45
Regiment. And this is the power of
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coaching. Like, I I was a fitness guy, but
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I was never a marathon guy. And just giving my word to him,
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he's like, well, what are next steps for you?
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I I. Forget the whole premise of the
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conversation. I get up and I run 26 miles on
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the spot just because I respected this guy.
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I I I valued him a lot and his input.
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I'm like, I'm so inspired. I'm going to go run a marathon
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now. Seems nuts.
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It definitely does. But I I feel like, you know,
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we're coaching and then now coaching with you.
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It really brings awareness full circle, especially if you do it.
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For an extended period of time, not just like one session or
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like one season of like 3 months, just like doing it
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extensively. So yeah, I've been coaching with
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the same same gentleman now. His name is Jeremiah for like 3
3:33
years now and now this is my second go around with you.
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So it's been incredible. Yeah.
3:39
I want to like attest to you've moved so quickly through the
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process together because you are just open and willing to it.
3:48
Absolutely, Yeah. You have to be.
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Otherwise you're not, you're well, you're going to come
3:52
kicking and screaming, you know, sometimes.
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But I think that my willingness and this is also like I've
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gotten five years of counseling and therapy, right?
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I I there was some, there were things to myself that I needed
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to deal with traumas in the past, which if we want to get
4:08
into that weekend, I have no problem doing that.
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But you know, unless you have a good awareness about you, it's
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just like you're going to be. Continuing to wonder why we do
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what we do. So I do believe that these
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astronomical, I guess, movements, pivots and stuff that
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you're seeing is just the awareness and the work that has
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been put in prior. And that's fine for other
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people. It may not be that your journey
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is your journey, which is fine. I don't want people to look at
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me and be like, Oh my gosh, it's possible for him and not for me.
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I know what that's like. I see it in in the area that I
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am now, but now take your steps, but definitely your results that
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you've got. So I Ioffer everybody 12
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sessions, right. So we worked together for three
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to four months, but you started getting results after the first
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couple weeks and I would offer to you that your results or
4:58
because of how open you were. In the process, which that's why
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I give 1212 sessions or three to four months, because I know I
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can take everybody from point A to point B and get them the
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results that they want when we first meet together.
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But you started getting him out the first couple weeks, and I
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really can attest to that's because you were willing to put
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in the work, willing to be vulnerable and willing to, you
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know, just open yourself up to like what's going on with my
5:26
thinking? Like, show me, show me.
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What am I thinking? Where are some of my thought
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errors? What would you say to that?
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I would say 100% because you hired, you hired a coach for a
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reason and it's like if you're holding back on painting the
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full picture, well, they're only going to work with what you give
5:41
them. They're not mind readers.
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They've been through a lot of experiences that were after,
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right. They're basically the person
5:48
that we want to be in X amount of years.
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So why would you not be an open book?
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So that, oh, this is where you're going here, This is what
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you're thinking that absolutely 100% you got.
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And it's just hard, like I always say, like I have my own
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private coach and my mindset coach, a business coach.
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It's like your coach can see things from you and what your
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mind is doing that you can't see.
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There's just no way for us to analyze it.
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Ourselves, Yeah. And can you talk to also like
6:19
touching on what you just said when we first met?
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It was a lot of this is what happened to me in the past, and
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that story has really carried on with you.
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And we have gotten very quickly into looking at the future you,
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and that's kind of all we talk about now.
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So how do we get over that hum of really letting your past
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affect where you were going? Right, 100%.
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And I think counseling is lovely.
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It's great. It's done astronomical things
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for me. It's necessary to understand
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where we come to the present. But then there comes to a
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tipping point where like, I'm done rehashing.
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The past, right I There's only so much rehashing that you can
7:01
do where you're like okay now I want to move forward.
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So it's like the more that I brought it up, the more that,
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like, I'm saying that I'm not that person anymore, but now I'm
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still living in it, living in the past and bringing it up.
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So now it's like, okay, it's time to let that go now.
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So now that we can create room for the present.
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Because if you're constantly living there, you're going to
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probably get the same results in the present and now your future
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you, you're probably going to be either pissed off or whatever
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and where not where you want to be.
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So I made a decision, right? Made a decision.
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Well, had the awareness, made a decision that like, hey, I don't
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want to rehash this anymore. I learned all that I needed to
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learn. Let's work on the present and
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future me now. Like what?
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What are some actions that I can take that future?
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Me will be proud of that. I will be proud of.
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So yeah, it was definitely a clear decision and that was
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deeply uncomfortable. I mean, we spent some weeks on
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that, which is totally fine. And I do want to say I do have a
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lot of clients that do therapy and coaching.
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It's just a different focus. Like you said, it's really
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focused on the past and coaching is really focused on you now and
8:04
like where you're wanting to go. And I know that that process was
8:07
deeply uncomfortable for you, and it wasn't easy to do now.
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But how is it, after coming out of that, really allowing
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yourself now to focus on where you wanna be and living in that
8:19
belief that that's gonna be possible for you even though
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you're not there yet? It's like a whole new, what I
8:26
like to call a glass ceiling. That's been one of the key
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themes that we've been talking about this week.
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So like whatever your glass ceiling is for you, it can be
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terms of finances, it can be a terms of relationships.
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For me, it was the belief in myself as a healthcare provider
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and basically being that kind of operator guy that I want to be.
8:43
Not necessarily surgery, but like I One of the key people
8:46
that I look up to is anyone in the special operations
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community. For somehow some reason those
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those guys I respect the hell out of those guys and the belief
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that I want to be one of those guys.
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That's what I was really struggling with.
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So it's like moving and stepping into that now is just like OK
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like that glass ceiling is ripped open it it's like it's
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like I have a degree of belief now that I.
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Pretend that it is possible and it's just like, I think one of
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the one of the key points that you definitely mentioned was in
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our sessions is like holding both.
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Like you still have doubt, you can still have fear, but you're
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going to do it anyway. So ripping off that ceiling,
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whatever that is for, for the listeners or for you speaking,
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that's what it created for me. A possibility, A possibility.
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What's been the result of being able to do that for yourself?
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Oh my gosh. Well, first and foremost, I was
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one of those type of dudes that I naturally have this high
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adrenaline level, right? And I know we speak about this
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on a lot of our sessions. It's like, I would always
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dismiss that, think that something's wrong with me, that,
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oh, all these operators or all these clinicians are, are
9:59
peaceful on the inside as they're having a code.
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Or like whatever the case may be, and I'd be freaking out on
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the inside and I'm just like, Oh my gosh, there's something wrong
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with me. And you're like, what if it's
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not? I'm like.
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What do you mean? Janessa, please explain.
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Just like, what if that's you as a clinician?
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And that was just one of the many ways.
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It's like finally making peace with how my body is trying to
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tell me that you are ready to perform.
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Now you're ready. And then all of a sudden, I
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heard exactly what we talked about.
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I heard it on, like a Navy SEAL podcast.
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I'm like, that's it. All right, This is, this is
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great. Like, my body is ready to do
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what it's supposed to do. Like.
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Think through these scenarios. Be the best clinician that could
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be. Think about possible
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contingencies, whatever it is, because we either think about or
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we were brought up as art. This is going to be a fight
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response while there's no tigers.
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So what serve? What does this serve me now?
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I'm not about to fight somebody. So what's what's this?
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It was always painted a negative sense instead of a positive
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sense. So instead of trying to fight
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it, this is me now, which huge weight lifted off my shoulders,
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etcetera. Yeah, it's all, I mean, I think
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it's very easy to do, especially as human beings like to compare
11:10
ourselves to people especially that are in positions that we
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want to be in. But when you realize like
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authentically that you could be in those positions and be
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authentically you, like I almost felt like it was a weight that
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was lifted off your shoulder. It's like, wait, I can be me and
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do really well at this position. 100% And that basically led me
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to. All right.
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Like how does that, how is that an asset instead of thinking it
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like, well what's the positive from this.
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So for me, think through like we were thinking like different
11:42
scenarios like if you get like a, a heart or a ICD call for
11:47
fellow Emt's, flight nurses, whatever, that can be a whole
11:49
range of things, right. So it's like, here's the age,
11:52
here's this, here's what we're given, what are some possible
11:54
scenarios? And.
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Now I'm getting better. I'm like, oh, this is actually
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what it is. I'm like 28 year old, female, Oh
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well, she probably has some anxiety conditions, you know,
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maybe some stuff at home. Turns out that's exactly what
12:06
kind of call it ended up being. I'm like, oh snap, okay.
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Whereas if I wasn't like that, maybe my thought process would
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be either a bit slower or like whatever.
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I probably wouldn't have drawn the same conclusion.
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But the biggest thing that I definitely, it helped me walk
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through my first possible code as an EMT.
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Yeah, let's talk about that because that is like one of the
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biggest things that people bring to me about doubt, especially in
12:33
these fields of like okay, we get to a high, high stress
12:37
situation where the patient's going to code.
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What if I don't know what to do, what we're like?
12:42
What were some of the fears that you were having and how did you
12:45
get yourself over that to process it during it when it
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happened? Right.
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So classic fear is that everyone has what if I don't know what to
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do? What if when I called upon, I
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don't perform? What if they don't survive?
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Like, my, my, my, my outcome was heavily based on the result,
13:04
whether or not the patient lived or passed, right?
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And we talked about that. It's just like well.
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You don't have control over that, right?
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There could be a whole host of scenarios that we not, we might
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not be able to detect with the technology, whatever we're given
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with what we're given, with what we have.
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So it's like, OK, what's the next best step for that person
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in the situation? Alright, scene safety, we're
13:28
good to go, right? You're communicating with your
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partner. You do this to this like you.
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You think you're going to screw up and do all these scenarios.
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Whereas if you just focus on what's best for the patient and
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the next best step for the patient.
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You can't go wrong cuz now you're taking the pressure off
13:41
yourself and now you're shifting the focus so that you can think
13:45
better. I love that because we would
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almost like play it out like this pretend scenario and then
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I'd be like, what next? And you'd be like, well then I
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would talk to my partner and I said okay, well, what next?
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Then I call base hospital okay, Well, what next?
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And it's like your brain just wants to offer you the worst
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case scenario, right? But it's like when you're
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actually in that situation, you just go back to the basics and
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it actually is really simple. You do know what's next?
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Right, exactly, exactly. And I think also what helps was
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next, right steps. Like we know the steps, we know
14:17
the protocols and if you need some refreshing, get some
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refreshing. That's the one thing that I was
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also struggling with was like as a brand new EMT still in his
14:25
first year, I was expecting myself to know.
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Every protocol, every this every possible scenario that a 20 year
14:33
veteran would have and that's just not feasible, right?
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It's just that's the Type A in US, right?
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So it's like give yourself some grace and we did talk about
14:42
that. The 20 year veteran is still
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thinking the same thoughts. Yes, yes, which I think a lot of
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people don't think about like those exact thoughts that you're
14:52
having the 20 year veteran and still having them too.
14:55
Right, right. It's like the experience is
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going to come. It's just like, all right, just
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focus on the next best thing. It's like, all right, we show up
15:02
scene safe, ABC's like, you know, and then just do the next
15:06
best thing. And then rehearsing that, that
15:09
worst case scenario. Like, can you visualize yourself
15:12
performing those next right steps at this scenario.
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So when you come, when you're, when you're coming to that
15:18
situation, it's not like, Oh my gosh, shotgun effect, like, no,
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I rehearsed this. Let's go.
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So literally like. I show up to the door.
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I'm like, I want to talk about pivoting because I think there's
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a lot of people who do that. And it's almost like there's a
15:37
negative connotation about pivoting.
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And so can you talk about what pivoting is kind of meant for
15:45
you and what you've kind of done in your life with it?
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And then also, what would you say to those people who are
15:54
thinking about pivoting but are nervous about the outcome of it?
15:58
Absolutely, Absolutely. So if you're in my closed
16:01
circle, you probably would have known.
16:03
I pivot a lot, which it's not a bad thing as something that I
16:08
was always interpreted as a bad thing in our literally last
16:11
coaching session. Every confident and basically
16:15
successful decision that I've made came from a pivot.
16:19
Right. And, you know, and when you put
16:21
in perspective like all these operators, everything doesn't go
16:25
according to plan. Absolutely not.
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They have to pivot on a dime to account for contingencies.
16:30
They're master pivoters. And that was the biggest thing
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for me. So it was like, as I went across
16:34
this whole entire path, let me just paint a little scenario for
16:37
you Graduated College in 2016, thought the military was for me.
16:41
In 2018 I pivoted that I was in a delayed entry program to
16:44
figure out my stuff. Doing it for the wrong reason.
16:46
So I pivoted. Got accepted to the Suffolk
16:49
County Police Department in New York.
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I pivoted because that wasn't the right fit for me.
16:54
Got into personal training, trained MMA fighters.
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Pivoted that because that's not what I wanted.
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Did that for two years, hopped into real estate and this is
17:01
where I pivoted again. First $20,000 check.
17:04
And sitting in the graveyard, I pivoted.
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I'm like, what do I want to do? Because I could easily be one of
17:09
these people with the the two dates in between the the dash,
17:12
right. I want to really make that dash
17:14
count. So I pivoted, what's something
17:16
that you always wanted to do? I'm like medicine was it?
17:18
So I got an EMT license. I'm like, here we go.
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So then I thought, well, let's try this physician route again
17:24
because I got my degree in biology premed, shadowed abroad
17:28
in Italy through the job that I have now through Atlantis.
17:31
And in that scenario, I'm just like well.
17:34
I saw the doctors did. I pivoted.
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I mean, the nursing is it, all right?
17:37
So as I go along this path and like I'm doing anatomy and
17:40
Physiology, the prereqs and then once again pivoted right now
17:45
because the biggest thing that I was afraid of was the success
17:50
that comes along with either the military trying to live up to
17:53
that standard or the fear of failure.
17:54
But now I'm transitioned to holding that success and the
17:59
fear of success. So what does that mean for me?
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And pivoting? Pivoting can be a strength.
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If you view it that way, right, I know a lot of people,
18:06
especially the people closest to you, friends, family, maybe even
18:10
significant others that like, oh, you're pivoting again.
18:13
I know I was at my last Christmas party.
18:14
Well, not Christmas party, Thanksgiving.
18:16
I'm sorry. And my family was like, oh, were
18:19
you actually going to stick with it this time?
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I confidently said, well, if I'm, if I don't, I'm going to
18:24
pivot again like I normally do. And it's a strength for me,
18:28
which it is. Like, I will gladly sift through
18:31
all these scenarios, figure out what's best for me and what I
18:34
actually want to do. If it means I get there faster,
18:37
Yeah. I want to ask you something with
18:38
that, because I thought that came up for me while you were
18:40
saying all of that. Is that all this pivoting that
18:43
you've done in your life? How is this going to benefit you
18:46
as a special operator later? Oh my gosh, you got to make
18:52
quick decisions and not hold on to 1 original plan or one
18:56
original route that you've made. Because you can try and control
18:59
all the controllables, but when you're dealing with other
19:01
people, when you're dealing with like forces of nature, like when
19:05
you deal with all this, you can't control those things no
19:07
matter how much you want to. So it's like you got to be a
19:10
master pivoter, a master like be okay with it, because it is
19:15
okay. Like you can still go through
19:17
all of these things, the doubt, the fear.
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And that's another big thing, having those two people and the.
19:23
People, I put in air quotes in the front seat because that's
19:26
also been another thing for me. But being a master of that and
19:30
not be afraid to pivot regardless of what others think,
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Because nine times out of 10, your friends and family are
19:35
probably want to pivot, but they're too scared to.
19:37
So they're looking to you to be the example, which I hate to say
19:40
it, that you shouldn't. But what's best for you?
19:44
Yeah. Yeah, I love that.
19:46
I want to ask you one more question as we're finishing up,
19:48
Nicholas, is there anything like that we didn't talk about today
19:51
that you would like to share? Like anything that's like kind
19:55
of help you with success to where you are now or anything
20:00
that we've talked about previously that has been really
20:05
important for you thus far? Yes, I would say a couple things
20:08
that I'll make it like bullet points.
20:10
Number one, you know, you best, you know when you come to a
20:13
coach, right, paint the whole picture, Don't be afraid to
20:17
paint the whole picture because they're really going to
20:19
highlight the things and see what you can't see because
20:22
you're you're living, you're living with you for so, so many
20:25
years, so long, right. But also they can see things
20:29
that you can't. So be vulnerable, be honest and
20:31
get rigorously honest, whether that's recording, note taking,
20:35
etcetera, #2 is that ties into that figure who you are as a
20:41
clinician. And that is fine.
20:44
That is perfectly fine. Perfectly okay high adrenaline
20:47
you. Or maybe you're calm you.
20:49
Maybe you're the zenest person in the room that serves you,
20:52
that serves your patience to figure out how your personality
20:56
serves you, and your patience the best.
20:59
Because there's only one of you, right?
21:02
It'll be the best view that you can be instead of trying to copy
21:04
somebody else. What's been the result of you
21:07
figuring out those things through our time of working
21:09
together? It definitely takes the pressure
21:12
off, and it respects other people's journey more because I
21:16
always wanted their success for me.
21:19
And to a degree, like, you know, going either going through
21:22
nursing, going through whatever pipeline, whatever the
21:25
consistent factor is, that's a given.
21:27
But when you're trying to mimic somebody else, you're going to
21:30
be robbing you of great results and you're also robbing your
21:32
patients because you're trying to act like somebody else.
21:35
So now you can show up with 100% integrity, 100% vulnerability,
21:39
and probably relate to that person more because now you're
21:42
the best you that there is. Yeah, yeah.
21:45
I want to ask you one more question.
21:47
I was just thinking about this as you were saying that, you
21:50
know, with working with different coaches, which is
21:52
great, like I've had the experience of it too.
21:54
I don't know like what I want to have in a coach.
21:58
So what would you what would you offer to someone who's like?
22:02
There's tons of coaches out there.
22:04
There's tons of different avenues.
22:05
What would you offer to them who have that question of, like, how
22:08
do I find someone, right? So look for someone who is
22:13
literally 10 years ahead of you that has the results that you
22:16
want, right? What do you value?
22:19
Who do you respect? Look at the people that you
22:21
respect. Do they have the results I want?
22:24
No. Okay.
22:25
We'll go find the people. I was very fortunate enough that
22:27
I just stumbled upon your Instagram.
22:29
I don't know how it just happened.
22:31
And then I hopped on one of the coaching calls that you had and
22:34
like I I saw what you were about and I vibe what you were about
22:38
and it was a no brainer. So find the person who has the
22:41
results of what you're looking for and then go for it.
22:45
Then nine times out of 10 they either have like a consultation
22:47
or a one hour session. Book a one hour session or a
22:50
single session to see if it's for you.
22:54
I love that. I absolutely agree with that.
22:56
Like I have this thought that if we can rub shoulders with
23:01
someone who is where we want to be, then that's how we get
23:03
there, that's how we get there quicker and we.
23:08
Take off a little bit of like what their thoughts are and give
23:12
give ourselves a little bit of their knowledge when we do so,
23:15
right. Yeah, absolutely.
23:17
And all of this, it compounds, right?
23:19
The awareness, right, which the coaches how to create, but your
23:23
willingness to be vulnerable. So awareness, vulnerability, the
23:27
work, obviously, right? They're not going to create the
23:30
result for you. You still got to do it.
23:32
I'm just figuring out like who you're going to be in the
23:35
process, like what do you want to show up as?
23:38
It's different now, right? Because we're we're aiming after
23:41
a future part. But the best piece of advice
23:44
with the sum total of all of this that you've given me is
23:46
like, well, how can I be this person now?
23:50
How? How can I?
23:52
How can I adopt? What future me looks like in
23:55
character? How they show up, how they
23:57
think, how they eat, how they sleep, how they diagnose or
24:02
wherever. Insert career here that you're
24:04
after. The result that you're after,
24:05
how do they show up? The quicker we can be that
24:08
person, the quicker we're going to get there 100%.
24:12
Yeah. And you're getting the results
24:14
of that right now in your life because I can tell you believe
24:17
it more because your results are there, right?
24:20
I believe it was so much more than compared to that first
24:23
train ride when I was in a different country and I hopped
24:25
on one of your calls. Yeah, and I know that because
24:30
it's showing. There's things that you tandibly
24:33
have now that you didn't back then because you believe it
24:36
about yourself. And that's like the magic of
24:38
coaching, right? That's the magic of thought work
24:42
100%. Yeah.
24:43
Well, I look forward to continuing to work together,
24:45
Nicholas. I think there was like so much
24:47
that we talked about on this podcast so far that I think a
24:51
lot of people are going to glean on, a lot of people are going to
24:53
take from. So I really, really appreciate
24:55
you being on and sharing your thoughts today.
24:58
Of course, thank you for having the platform and just the one
25:00
that has to bring me on. Yeah.
25:02
All right. We'll talk to you next week,
25:04
Yes, sounds great. OK.
25:06
Bye. Are you ready to pivot more
25:11
confidently and with less mind drama?
25:13
I can help you get there. This is what coaching has to
25:16
offer you and this is really what coaching has done for
25:18
Nicholas. It took him from a place of
25:20
really being focused on what happened to him in the past and
25:24
that story that he was creating for himself and to the point
25:27
where now he can really focus on who he wants to be and what his
25:30
future looks like and really learned to step into that.
25:32
Now, if this is something you're interested in, definitely get
25:35
with me and we can help you obtain this as well.
25:38
So that's all for this week and I will chat.
25:40
With all of you guys next week, bye.