Latest / Pathological Positivity / No Finish Line Alone – with Brent & Kyle Pease – Episode #694
Transcript
- This is Live On Purpose Radio episode 694, No Finish Line Alone with Brent and Kyle Pease. Now is the only time to create and live the life you love. I'm doctor Paul Jenkins, the positivity psychologist. My job is to connect you to powerful positive psychology principles that immediately upgrade your relationships, business, and mental health. Are you ready? Let's jump in. Hey, friends. Before we get started, you want to come to the emotional freedom challenge? I know you do. Are you ready to be free from the way we get hijacked, sometimes of our emotions? I'm sponsoring a free five day challenge. Go to liveonpurposeradio.com/efc for emotional freedom challenge, and join me in this free five day challenge. Hope to see you there. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to Live on Purpose Radio. This is doctor Paul, the shrink, who expands your life with another episode of Live on Purpose Radio. Joining me on the mic today are world champion Ironman record holders, Brent and Kyle Pease. We're going to explore their remarkable story today that includes brotherhood, inclusion, and making the impossible possible. I am excited to welcome you guys to the mic today. Welcome, Brent and Kyle. Hey, Dave, Doug, Paul. Hey, Dave, Doug, Paul. Appreciate being here. World record holders. That's pretty cool. And this is, in the Ironman competition. You guys do it a little differently than some folks. Would you care to just give us the context around that? Share what you're about here. Yeah. For sure. So, so Kyle, my brother has cerebral palsy with spastic quadriplegia. So he, lives his daily life in a wheelchair. And for triathlons, I'm kind of the the motor and, and Kyle's the the spirit, the energy behind the team. But we both go through it. It's a 140.6 miles of racing, 2.4 miles in the water. Kyle sits in a kayak, which is tied to my waist, and I pull him through the water. For the bicycle, we are very unique in that Kyle sits in front of me. So we ride a three wheel bicycle with Kyle upfront like any good cyclist, and I push the pedals. And then for the run, for the marathon, the 26.2 miles, I push a specially designed run chair, to get him through the marathon. And and he gets me through the whole thing with just the sheer positivity and, and just spiritual energy behind the team and, what he goes through physically is is quite impressive as well. I love the way that you just described that, Brent, because I think both elements are essential. Mhmm. Right? The... And, Kyle, I'm looking at you, man. Positivity? Oh, yeah, man. I know no other way, that's how our period... That's how we grew up. Our period really is trusted as it was, where we... I'm positive and middle attitude, and my mom always called me. So, I know no other way, and I get with every day to the best of my ability. Kyle, that is huge. I know plenty of people who have the ability to run the motor. And, Brent, not to diminish what you do because that motor's pretty important, and you guys have brought these two elements together to set some records and maybe open up some possibilities for people who didn't think something was possible. I've... I jumped on your piece, Kyle, because I'm in... I am the positivity psychologist. That's what I do. And with that mindset and that energy, I think you used the word energy, Brent, when you were introducing your brother, that mindset and energy is essential to high performance. Okay. So, you know, somebody just... I think you'd appreciate this in your line of work and what you do. Somebody described this to us really well that kinda unlocked... Like, we knew this, like, kinda what I just said. Like, Kyle has to be this positive, you know, uplifting. Like, he's gotta be a real force. But I do too, but I do it more from the physical. And they said, you know, Brent, I can't imagine what it must be like for you for fourteen to fifteen hours to physically carry a hundred and twenty five pound human. But what I really can't fathom is how for fourteen to fifteen hours, Kyle has to be the most positive force on the planet and be the strength not only between his own ears but yours too. You know? I mean, he removes that piece for me. Like, I don't have to work as hard because Kyle's doing that part for both of us. And, like, we always knew that, and we described it the way I I did to you just a moment ago. But to really understand it that way and to watch him, I mean, we we can tell you stories for the entirety of this, of what he's physically experienced. And never does he utter a word about that because he's focused on making sure we both get through that experience. Well, comfort is not one of the requirements. Right? And that's doing an Ironman. Whip. And I think as humans, a lot of times we get a little addicted to comfort. Mhmm. And, that's one of the things I love about what you guys are doing because you're you're taking something that is inherently uncomfortable, And you're showing how through teamwork and positive attitude and just the sheer determination to open doors for others too. Because I know I know inclusion is a big part of your message. Mhmm. In fact, I'd love to just tap into that for a minute too. Talk about that piece and what your participation in these extreme events has done to open doors for others. Yeah. So that's what we do in our line of work with the Kyle Pete Foundation, and the nature of our foundation to improve our lives. Our people with the stability through sports and beyond. And at the core of what we do is inclusion. So we want everybody to be included, when they tell the storyline, and when they call it the finish line, with what evidence you're empowered to be the athlete, not not the the wheelchair athlete, but the athlete. And and for them to see their full potential. So that's what we strive to do at every event that we do with KPS. And, we got ways to go, but we're we're just beginning to scratch purpose. Kyle, you just mentioned the foundation. And for those of you who are listening, that's kyle pease foundation dot org. And Pease is spelled p e a s e. So just like the Fuji plus an extra e. Kylepeasfoundation.org. And that's where people can learn more about what you guys are doing. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We can learn it all, connect with us, newsletter, social, see videos and links to everything that we do, and and as Kyle mentioned, to seeing all these athletes and and what they, experience as well. Brenda, I wanna dig into your piece of this for a minute. You guys... You're brothers. Mhmm. I've got three brothers. I know what it's like to grow up with brothers. There's upsides. There's downsides. There's also a special bond Mhmm. That forms there. Brent, can you just talk about your experience as you have shared this, this, the diagnosis that you gave earlier, you know, my, my brother has this well, the family kind of has this. Yeah. In a lot of ways, Brent, can you just talk to that for a minute? You know, I don't think, for for... At least from my experience, I don't think I fully understood that I had it too until I was much older. You know, I always viewed it as something Kyle had, something Kyle had. And so I had to help Kyle. Not that Kyle had to help me too. For me to understand, you know, what he goes through and what his experience is like. So I I think there was a part for me when I was younger that it felt very much like a tragedy, you know, that this happened to Kyle or that this happened to us. What I understand better as an adult is that it did happen to us and that, you know, those experiences of of living with cerebral palsy for all of us, you know, created something, you know, that's given us the space to be whatever. And for me, it it... It's created a compassion and understanding that, you know, sometimes it's hard for people, for for us as humans, to get out of our own experience and understand someone else's. So, but I, you know, I also think that, as I said, Kyle was was helping me. You know? And so that relationship as athletes is very much our relationship as brothers. I'm gonna go out on a limb here a little bit. I think I'm on a fairly safe limb, though. Okay? Yeah. I'm guessing... And Kyle, you can acknowledge this if you care to. You couldn't do this without Brent. Is that true? Absolutely. Absolutely. A 100%. And, Brent, you wouldn't do this without Kyle. Absolutely not. You know? I mean, it's it's far more enriching to be able to watch him and experience it with him than it than it is for me to to try and do that on my own. Now there might be a world in which Brent Pease just thought out of thin blue air somewhere, hey, I'm gonna go do Ironman's. Maybe. But I'm guessing that the reason you do this has a lot more to do with what you and Brenda have created together than anything that you would have just chosen to do on your own. Is that safe? Yeah. I mean, yes. I mean, I did one on my own at the very, very beginning of all this. Did you? Yeah. In 2010. And that created the opportunity to experience this together. And I did a few more on my own, but but it was always like, okay. Well, if I do this one, then I can be ready to do that one with Kyle. And I I haven't done a race by myself since 2017. You know? So this is very much, as you just described it, that, you know, we're doing this because of each other, you know, as much as anything or more so than for each other. How has that elevated your game? Oh, I think it has elevated our game correctly. It has brought us closer together. It has allowed us to trust each other in our in our fields. But more importantly, it had helped us elevate each other to make both of us better at what we do. Yeah. That's kinda what I'm seeing from my perspective. Brent, did you have a response to that as well? Well, we always do. We're... You know, we we, we do races that take fourteen, fifteen hours, so brevity isn't usually our thing when it comes to talking either. But, no, I mean, I I... Yeah. I I I completely agree with that. I think I think the other thing is that it's allowed us to evolve as, you know, understanding humans. You know, like, I mean, we can talk through some of that, you know, but there has been many instances over the years where, you know, the way Kyle and I would describe it is is, like, he's getting mad because we're not running hard enough, and he really wants to just scream at me. Like, would you just try... Like, just... I know you have more in you. And when I can feel that happening, I almost wanna scream at him and go, well, then you come push this chair. If you think that it's so easy, you push it. And then Kyle's response to that is, okay. Fine. But you have to sit in the chair while I push it. Right? And, like, understanding that I'm going through something too is really important for Kyle to be a proper captain to... I mean, Kyle is the captain. You know? Like, it it... He is driving the bus. When we... When that gun goes off, Kyle's in charge. What he says is what I've gotta try to figure out how to do. And... But he also has to understand what I'm going through to be able to properly push us in the right direction. Because it... I mean, I'll give you a great example. We're at the Boston marathon last year, and right at the top of, Heartbreak Hill in Newtown, which for those familiar, you basically just run five miles uphill. And I started cramping. And Kyle screamed slow, breathe, breathe, breathe. Walk, Brent. Walk, Brent. Right? He was saying like, it's it's such a fine line of like, he wasn't telling me to quit or to not try. He was giving me permission to suffer for a second before we had to... We still had to run and we did, but I needed like, I think it was five seconds, three seconds to just let my body go and then go. Like... But if Kyle doesn't understand my experience and that happened early on, you know, the reaction there might have been like, what are you doing? Run harder. Come on, buddy. Dig. Dig. Dig. Dig. Dig. When it's like, all I needed was one moment. Right? And he knew that. And, you know, so when he find himself in a conversation with an individual who's like screaming from the mountain tops, like, do you hear me? Kyle can say, yes. I hear you, and I'm listening. You know? Or yes. I understand you. And that that's been an evolution of of doing this stuff together that carries far beyond the race course for either of us. Well, I was just thinking about how this becomes a metaphor for everything else that we do in life. And there are so many parallels that we can draw as we work together, as we form teams, as we experience the challenges, the difficulties, the adversity that life is sure to hand us. And those don't have to be excuses. They're just simply the problems we get dissolve. Yeah. Or the problem we get to live through. Right? Like, I mean, Kyle's life was meant to be experienced too. And his challenges are just easier to spot, you know, but he chooses to find a way to be positive about that. You know, he could just simply say, look at me. This is so tough. Being in a wheelchair is awful. And that can be true as well as it is to be able to say, this is so wonderful. I'm experiencing this too. And that's, you know, that's what makes Kyle so incredible. It's his ability to say that and to make you believe it too. To where you're all of a sudden, your little cramp at mile 21 is just something for you to experience to take one deep breath and then run 5.2 more miles with him. And somehow, in the midst of that, find, find the attitude. We talked about positive attitude earlier, right? The attitude or the energy to keep moving forward and not let the mess become the whole point of... In fact, we have a saying sometimes. You've probably heard it. Our mess becomes our message. Yeah. I I was just gonna say that. That our mess is a part of our message. And if Yeah. You can get through the mess, then you could get through your message and that people could hear your message in a much clearer way. I'm wondering what you you guys have created because you've done this together. You've created a stage Mhmm. A platform. People can see you because you've pushed through, because you've chosen to do something productive with what life handed you. And I think that that's a a responsibility as well, you know, to have that microphone, that, that billboard to the world. What do you hope people read from this billboard that you're putting out to the world? I hope that Paul, that they will see a unique perspective that that ad brand making... You can see my calendar. Right? But we all have talent kids. We all have a different perspective of our life. And when you when you fill out yourself with people that you love, They walk with you through your life, and they help you, and they see your struggle, and they recognize your struggle, and they help you better your life because of this struggle that you're in. Beautifully said. Brent, what would you hope that they read from the billboard? We can always choose how to view things. You can look at a billboard of of me and Kyle and think, gosh, that must be so hard. Or you can look at that bill... Billboard and say, gosh, that is so wonderful. And you get to choose, you know. And it's it's... Sometimes, it's hard, but Kyle has chosen to be positive about his life, and that positivity... Kyle is a billboard. You know, it exudes, and we've all chosen. Those of us around him are in a sphere. We choose to be positive with him, and that is something I hope that you see from the billboard for for many, many miles. You know, that's... I I read that on your billboard, and that's why I invited you here to Live on Purpose Radio. Join me on the mic today. Thank you so much, Pease Brothers for coming and joining me today. Yeah. I wanna point people back to what, what you mentioned, Kyle, earlier with the foundation, the Kyle Pease Foundation. And you just go to kyle, kylepspeasefoundation.org. All one word, kylepeasefoundation.org. And not only will you see what Brent and Kyle are doing here, you'll be able to get involved. I noticed there that you've got links even to races that are going on here in my state of Utah. Mhmm. You've got events going on all over the place where people can get involved, help to move that message of inclusion and possibility forward. Is there anything else you wanna say about that while we've still got our guests here with us? I just... I I think, we we talked about it earlier today that, you know, one of the greatest ways to understand another person is to be curious about them. And, you know, so when it comes to something like the Kyle Peace Foundation or what we do from an athletics, or inclusion standpoint is that, you know, it would be very easy to say, well, I can't do that. But wouldn't it be just as easy to say I can and to be curious how you can? It's such a small subtle shift that can go a really long way and how you feel about it. You know, you're speaking my language here, Brent. Like, we... I I think I think we're all gonna find that the three of us are very aligned when it comes to, that conversation that exists between our ears. Well, even when you said, you know, rather than saying, well, I can't do that, what if you were to just remain in the question? Be curious. Go find out what you maybe didn't even know you didn't know. Yeah, absolutely. All the way. Well guys, thank you so much for the good work that you're doing. Thank you for joining us here and contributing some value to all of us here at Live on Purpose Radio today. Once again, folks, kylepeasfoundation.org. Go check these guys out. Get involved. Support. Be curious. And let's go put to use what we've learned here today, to live on purpose. Did you get what you came for? Give yourself the gift of taking real action on what you realized today. Please share this episode with someone you know would value it, and leave us a rating too. It's time now to live on purpose.