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Romantic Love -- Be Selfish | Yaron Brook Show · Yaron Brook Show

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: A lot of the fundamental principles of edom, my actual self,
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: interesting and individual orts. This is the show, all right, everybody,
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: welcome to one book show on this Saturday, February fourteenth.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Happy Valentine's Day to everybody. I hope, I hope you've
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  Speaker 1: got plans for tonight and you're going to be celebrating
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: with somebody that you that you love, and yeah, Happy
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: Valentine's Day. Give me one second, all right, So today
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: we're gonna talk about romantic love. We'll talk about love,
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: what it is, what human needs, does serve, why do
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  Speaker 1: we have it, why is it there? And we'll talk
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: about We'll talk about whatever you want to talk about.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: So open to questions. Super chat is open and available.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: You can ask questions. You know, Let's try to stick
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  Speaker 1: to the topic. I'd hate to have to divote the
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: questions to I don't know, something horrible having happening in politics.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: Let's try to stay positive. We can stay negative about
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  Speaker 1: love if you want, but let's try to keep it
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  Speaker 1: on topic in terms of the conversation. Let's try to
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  Speaker 1: stick to the discussion of romantic love or love more broadly,
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  Speaker 1: and why and in what sense is it? Is it selfish.
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  Speaker 1: Lincoln says, thumbs up for the up, thumbs up the
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: show for romantic surprise. What's the romantic surprise? Who gets
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: a romantic surprise? All right? Uh, I'm excited now about
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  Speaker 1: the surprise. All right, let's start with romantic love. And
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  Speaker 1: you know, I put in the title romantic Love be selfish,
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  Speaker 1: and so I want to copify as always what you
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  Speaker 1: mean by selfish and what selfishness means. There's a lot
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  Speaker 1: of new people who watch these shows, and it's important
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  Speaker 1: that they understand the concept that some selfish means pursuing
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  Speaker 1: your your rational values, living for your own flourishing for
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  Speaker 1: the sake of your own happiness, happiness that can only
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  Speaker 1: be achieved by a particular set of values, pursuing certain
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  Speaker 1: values and acting in virtuous ways. Happiness that is can
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  Speaker 1: additional on you fulfilling the needs that this the human
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  Speaker 1: animal requires above all, it requires that you be rational.
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  Speaker 1: The human beings are the rational animal. Rationality is a
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  Speaker 1: basically means a survival. It is the way in which
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  Speaker 1: you survive. It's the way in which we attain values.
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  Speaker 1: It's the way in which we create values, the way
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  Speaker 1: in which we achieve And so if we're going to
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  Speaker 1: be happy, if we're going to be good, if we're
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  Speaker 1: going to be successful, we must be rational. And that's
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  Speaker 1: why reason is a cardinal value. It is a must
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  Speaker 1: it is to be successful in life. You have to
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  Speaker 1: be You have to be rational, achieve a state in
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  Speaker 1: which you are using reason and you have elevated reason
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  Speaker 1: to This is the way in which I deal with reality, facts,
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  Speaker 1: with the world out there with other people. I do
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  Speaker 1: it through facts, logic, rationality. In other words, I use
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  Speaker 1: the evidence of my senses. I use reason. So being
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  Speaker 1: selfish is being a thinker, it's being rational. It also
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  Speaker 1: means pursuing self esteem. Self esteem is a cognate value
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  Speaker 1: and really a value that is crucially essential, crucially essential
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  Speaker 1: for romantic love. And ran It wrote to say, I
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  Speaker 1: love you presumes an eye. There has to be an eye.
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  Speaker 1: There has to be a recognition of my own value
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  Speaker 1: if I'm going to value somebody else. So self esteem
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  Speaker 1: the recognition of one's own value, the love of you, know, oneself,
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  Speaker 1: the recognition of the fact that you at home on
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  Speaker 1: this planet, that you have the capacity to deal with
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  Speaker 1: this world, that you can achieve values, that you can
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  Speaker 1: be successful, that you can achieve your own happiness because
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  Speaker 1: you know your rational You know the rationality works in
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  Speaker 1: the world, and you know that rationality will help you
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  Speaker 1: achieve the values in spite of the many, many obstacles
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  Speaker 1: that might be in the way. Self esteem is that
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  Speaker 1: sense that you have about I belong here, and I
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  Speaker 1: can achieve here, and I can I'm good, I'm fundamentally good,
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  Speaker 1: I'm fundamentally competent and fundamentally can achieve. So Crucial to
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  Speaker 1: romantic love is being selfish. Crucial to romantic love is
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  Speaker 1: for you, put aside the other partner, put aside even
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  Speaker 1: finding another partner. First and foremost, what do you control?
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  Speaker 1: You control you. It's loving yourself in some deep sense.
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  Speaker 1: It's achieving self esteem. It's being rational, committing yourself to rationality.
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  Speaker 1: Now again, for those of you who are new, that
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  Speaker 1: does not mean suppressing your emotions. It does not mean
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  Speaker 1: it does not mean not having passion. Quite the opposite.
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  Speaker 1: Emotions are reflections of judgments that we've made of our
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  Speaker 1: at the end of the day, there are expressions of
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  Speaker 1: our thinking. To the extent that out thinking is rational,
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  Speaker 1: our emotions will be consistent with that thinking. So, on
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  Speaker 1: the contrary, to be a passionate valuer. To be a
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  Speaker 1: a to experience emotions deeply and in a most more
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  Speaker 1: fulfilling way, one has to be rational in a to
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  Speaker 1: experience emotions in a non contradictory way, in a way
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  Speaker 1: that boasters our values, in a way that ultimately helps
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  Speaker 1: us achieve our happiness. You got to be rational, You
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  Speaker 1: got to make the right judgments. So the first step
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  Speaker 1: when talking about love is self creation. The creation of
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  Speaker 1: your own soul, the making of your own character, the
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  Speaker 1: establishment of your own self esteem, the pursuing reason, and
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  Speaker 1: a full, complete life of achievement, even when you're young,
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  Speaker 1: at whatever level you are seeking achievement, at whatever level
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  Speaker 1: you are seeking your values, the first step towards love
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  Speaker 1: is achieving those values in yourself, with yourself, by yourself.
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  Speaker 1: It's creating the kind of person in yourself that deserves
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  Speaker 1: to be loved. How many people out there deserve to
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  Speaker 1: be loved? Frank says, romantic love is an aesthetic love.
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  Speaker 1: What do you mean by aesthetic Frank, I'm not sure,
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  Speaker 1: because maybe arts is an aesthetic love. You know what
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  Speaker 1: sense is aesthetic? I'm not sure aesthetic belongs to here.
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  Speaker 1: Remind you if you have any questions, comments, disagreements. Super
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: Chat is available. Write a super chat and I will
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  Speaker 1: read it, even if it's a disagreement with me, and
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: I will answer your questions and any any questions issues
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  Speaker 1: you have. Please do so. Oh god, we've got We've
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  Speaker 1: got that guy here. Okay, we'll ignore it. So love
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  Speaker 1: is about achievement and achieving it. It stoughts sorry with
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  Speaker 1: achieving achieving the kind of character, the kind of person
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  Speaker 1: that deserves love. Not everybody he deserves love. We are
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: not Christians. I am not a Christian. I don't know
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  Speaker 1: about you, guys. Love has to be earned. Love has
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  Speaker 1: to be earned. There's no such thing as unearned love.
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  Speaker 1: Love has to be owned. It has to the other
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  Speaker 1: party has to provide something, and at least among adults,
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  Speaker 1: love is a consequences that I Love is a consequences
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  Speaker 1: of the achievement of character and values. Moral character, moral character.
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  Speaker 1: Not more character as a as a sacrificing uh as
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  Speaker 1: a sacrificer in the Matherturisa sense, but more character in
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  Speaker 1: the sense of living by all values, all virtues that
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  Speaker 1: are that are rational and that lead to the building
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  Speaker 1: of a life and the pursuit of rational values. Rational values.
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  Speaker 1: All right, So you have to start, as I said,
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  Speaker 1: in love, you have to start with self. You have
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  Speaker 1: to start with creating a person and creating a person
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  Speaker 1: to be loved. And I think when we achieve that,
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  Speaker 1: when we achieve self esteem, when we are dedicated to
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  Speaker 1: pursuing values, we find in others a reflection of the
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  Speaker 1: things that we value most in life. We can find
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  Speaker 1: in somebody of the opposite sex, and in some cases
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  Speaker 1: of the same sex, we find people who reflect our
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: most cherished values that stand for those you know, you know.
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  Speaker 1: According Titian Rand, love is a response to our highest values.
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  Speaker 1: Romantic love is a response in another to those highest values,
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  Speaker 1: and that elicits a particularly intense response in us. I
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  Speaker 1: think Nathaniel Brandon has a definition of love that I
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  Speaker 1: think is good. Romantic love is a passionate, spiritual, emotional,
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  Speaker 1: and sexual attachment between two people who deeply value each
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  Speaker 1: other's character and in whose presence each experiences affirmation of
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  Speaker 1: their own self esteate. So again, romantic love is a passionate, spiritual, emotional,
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  Speaker 1: and sexual attachment. So passionate, passionately in every respect, spiritual emotional,
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  Speaker 1: and sexual attachment between two people who deeply value each
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  Speaker 1: other's character. So there's the valuing. You value somebody else's character,
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  Speaker 1: You value what they need of themselves, You value what
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  Speaker 1: they value. You value the kind of person they are
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  Speaker 1: become and in whose presence each experiences affirmation of their
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  Speaker 1: own self esteem. So the other affirms gives you visibility
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  Speaker 1: into who you are become. So romantic love is primarily
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  Speaker 1: find another who represents the deepest values and the deepest
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  Speaker 1: perspective you have on the world. The world is a
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  Speaker 1: benevolent place. Is a place where one can succeed. Is
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  Speaker 1: a place where reason is efficacious. Is a place where
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  Speaker 1: one can achieve happiness that is manifest in the person.
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  Speaker 1: I mean, if you have those values that is manifested
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  Speaker 1: in the person that you love, that is manifest in
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  Speaker 1: the other. So romantic love is this combination. It's this
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  Speaker 1: integration between the spiritual that is that of consciousness ideas
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  Speaker 1: anything that is of consciousness, emotional the things we feel,
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  Speaker 1: and sexual, sexual attraction. It is an integration of all this.
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  Speaker 1: You can feel sexual attraction to somebody you don't love.
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  Speaker 1: You can spiritually bond with somebody you don't romantically love.
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  Speaker 1: You don't call that a platonic relationship what they call
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  Speaker 1: a platonic relationship. A somebody who shays your values, who
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  Speaker 1: you love, discussing ideas, worth are discussing anything with, but
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  Speaker 1: you're not emotionally attacked or sexually attached to them, or
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  Speaker 1: you're emotionally attached somewhat, maybe it's not passionate, or maybe
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  Speaker 1: you are emotionally attached, but you're not sexually attracted to
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  Speaker 1: So it's a it's a you can be so. You
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  Speaker 1: can be spiritually connected to somebody but not romantically in
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  Speaker 1: love with them. You can be sexually attracted to somebody
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  Speaker 1: but not romantically in love with them, and all of
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  Speaker 1: those are fine. But the pinnacle of love, of this amazing,
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  Speaker 1: amazing experience, the pinnacle of that is to be spiritual,
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  Speaker 1: emotionally and sexually attached, attracted and attached to somebody else.
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  Speaker 1: I'll remind you ask questions about the topic. I get you. Paul,
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  Speaker 1: and I talked about the issue you bring up in
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  Speaker 1: your question. I talked about it yesterday. It was a
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  Speaker 1: segment I showed the video, a segment I show yesterday.
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  Speaker 1: But god it, I don't even want to read the
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  Speaker 1: question because it's like I've talked about love and you
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  Speaker 1: want to talk about so I'm just going to put
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  Speaker 1: it aside. Check out the show yesterday. You'll get an
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  Speaker 1: answer to what I think about that. All right. So,
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  Speaker 1: romantic love, integration of the spiritual, the emotion, and sexual,
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  Speaker 1: an immense experience, an immense experience. It involves deeply valuing somebody,
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  Speaker 1: valuing their character, valuing their companionship, valuing them as a
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  Speaker 1: human being, as somehow a comcortization of one's deepest values
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  Speaker 1: in a similar way in some sense to what art
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  Speaker 1: can do. But now it's in a person, and an
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  Speaker 1: ali like person who can talk back to you. So
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  Speaker 1: you know, maybe the most powerful experience we have, and
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  Speaker 1: therefore it is expressed, it's by me expression. Its deepest
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  Speaker 1: expression is in the act of sex, which is the
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  Speaker 1: ultimate experience a pleasure, the most intense experience in pleasure
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  Speaker 1: we can have. And again the one that has the
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  Speaker 1: combines the spiritual and the emotional and and and of
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  Speaker 1: course the physical the sexual, so that the spiritual, the emotional, sexual,
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  Speaker 1: the act of sex combines all these around immense pleasure.
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  Speaker 1: And therefore it is a true manifestation of romantic love,
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  Speaker 1: of being in love, of really valuing this other, this
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  Speaker 1: other person. So uh, you know this is uh, you know,
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  Speaker 1: if if you're going to be selfish in life. You
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  Speaker 1: know we've talked about, is only one life. You've only
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  Speaker 1: got so much time to live it. You you can't
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  Speaker 1: you don't get a rewind, you don't get to redo.
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  Speaker 1: Pursuing romantic love is an immensely important value for somebody
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  Speaker 1: seeking happiness. It is this unique experience that you cannot
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  Speaker 1: get anywhere else. You can fake it, you can pretend,
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  Speaker 1: but you can get this integration in any other kind
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  Speaker 1: of relationship. You can have sex with people you don't
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  Speaker 1: love and it could be good sex, but it's not
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  Speaker 1: the pinnacle, it's not the best, it's not what is possible.
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  Speaker 1: So well, there's nothing wrong with having sex with people
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  Speaker 1: you are not romantically in love with, although you should
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  Speaker 1: have some standards pretty high, I think, but you should
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  Speaker 1: be pursuing the best, pursuing the pinnacle, using the greatest
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  Speaker 1: possible relationship you can have with anybody, because you're selfish,
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  Speaker 1: because you only have one life, because you want to
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  Speaker 1: live the best possible life on this one life that
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: you can. You can have, you know, deep friendships that
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: are deeply spiritual and you know, incredibly satisfying. But if
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  Speaker 1: they're not going to be integrated with the emotion and sex,
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  Speaker 1: they're great and you should pursue them, but you should
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  Speaker 1: also pursue the full integration, the full deal, the best,
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  Speaker 1: the best kind of relationship, not instead of, but in
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: addition to friendship and other forms of relationships. So romantic
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  Speaker 1: love is something that I think we need to pursue.
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  Speaker 1: We need to make an effort. Too many people give up.
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  Speaker 1: There are too many people out there who just who
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  Speaker 1: give up, and they give up young? How many? How many?
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  Speaker 1: I don't know, men going their own way, or it's
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  Speaker 1: probably men who give up, it seems, but men going
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  Speaker 1: their own way, or women who think they don't need
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  Speaker 1: a partner, or what do you call the men who
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  Speaker 1: think they're not good enough? Now, some men are not
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: good enough, some women are not good enough. But then
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  Speaker 1: the burden is on you to become better. I mean,
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  Speaker 1: and this is the thing that love places a burden
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  Speaker 1: on you. Seeking romantic love means the need first to
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  Speaker 1: create a person you, as I said, who is worthy
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  Speaker 1: of love. Work on it, work on yourself, and says
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  Speaker 1: women also give up. There are plenty of voluntary spinsters probably.
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  Speaker 1: And look, as I said, if you're not willing to get,
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  Speaker 1: if you're not willing to do the work to make
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  Speaker 1: yourself worthy of love, not everybody is worthy of love.
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  Speaker 1: I mean all these cliches in the movies, all these
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  Speaker 1: you know. I mean, if love is selfless, if love
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  Speaker 1: is unearned, as the Christians would teach us, then yeah,
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  Speaker 1: everybody is worthy of love. They are no standards for love.
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  Speaker 1: You should, you know, love indiscriminately. In some sense, you
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: should love out of a sense of duty. You should
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  Speaker 1: love the person for the sake of that other person.
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  Speaker 1: Oh she's lonely, I should love her because she's lonely.
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  Speaker 1: But that is not true love. That is not romantic love.
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  Speaker 1: It's it's impossible to get this spiritual integration. It's impossible
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  Speaker 1: to be passionate about this integration if you're doing it
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  Speaker 1: out of selfless motivations, of altruistic motivations. Love is not
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  Speaker 1: about sacrifice, Robert, who Love is about affirming your own
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  Speaker 1: values and your own value. So don't give up, but
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: make sure that your struggles in the realm of love
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  Speaker 1: are not your own fault. And in that sense, you've
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: got to be bold. You've got to be brave. You've
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: got to go out there and experienced life. You've got
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: to go out there and meet people. You've got to
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: go out there and take risks with you know, if
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: you're a man with other women, you know today, I
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: guess you've got a bunch of you are probably gay,
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  Speaker 1: so other man. But I'm gonna I'm gonna use after
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  Speaker 1: sexual love just as a stand in because that's what
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: I know. But this applies. I think it applies to
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: almost sexual love just as much. But you got to
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: go out there. You've got to you've got to meet people.
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  Speaker 1: You've got to spend some time with people. If you
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: don't spend time with them, you won't know. You just
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: won't know. Love is not something where you can make
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: a checklist. You know, she has to have X, Y
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: Z things. I mean, to some extent, you just to
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: be honest, he's I mean, those those the basics. Yes,
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: but you're going to connect it at a level of
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: kind of a sense of life, of an approach to
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: the world and approach to reality which is manifest and
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: all kinds of things. It's white people fall in love,
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  Speaker 1: can fall in love sometimes in first sight and fall
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  Speaker 1: in love fairly quickly. It's you know. It can manifest
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  Speaker 1: in a smile. It can manifest in the way she walks,
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  Speaker 1: or the way she dances, the way she holds herself.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: It can manifest itself in the way she gets passionate
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: when she talks about a particular topic. There are lots
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  Speaker 1: of ways in which this manifests herself that don't add
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  Speaker 1: up to some checklist. So make sure that you go
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: on it and meet people and experience people, experience life. I
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: mean moments, time with people with you know, people from
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  Speaker 1: the other that sex of which you want to fall
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  Speaker 1: in love with. Again, too many people give up, too
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: many people a passive, too many people. But this is
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: about self esteem. This is about believing that you're worthy,
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: believing that you can achieve happiness in this world, believing
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  Speaker 1: in your self uh and uh and in wanting this,
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  Speaker 1: wanting this. So let's think of them. Some of the
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  Speaker 1: needs ye that love uh you know provides you uh.
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  Speaker 1: Some of the things the benefits that the needs in
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  Speaker 1: terms of actual values that it can provide you that
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  Speaker 1: are important, that are worth pursuing and and are worth
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  Speaker 1: finding the person who can provide these. I mean to
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  Speaker 1: love is to admire. To love is to value. To
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: love is to see in somebody else your most important values.
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  Speaker 1: And in that sense, it's a concutization of of of
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  Speaker 1: your values of the world as you see it. And
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  Speaker 1: I think that is the most important of all things.
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  Speaker 1: It's to admire the person that you love because they're great,
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  Speaker 1: because they manifest pro life, pro happiness values, because they
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: manifest the things that you admire, the things that you love,
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  Speaker 1: the things that you pursue. So and to have that conquitization,
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  Speaker 1: if you will, of your most precious values in reality
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: is really really important. And again art can serve at
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: some level, and it's why we get an emotional response
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: to art and art different art can give you give
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  Speaker 1: us an experience of a wide array of kind of
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  Speaker 1: values and can make real a wide array of values.
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  Speaker 1: But if we value ourselves in terms of character and
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  Speaker 1: in terms of our lives and experiencing life and living life,
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: a living being represents that better than anything else. It
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: doesn't replace art, it complements art, but it's something we
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: need above and beyond anything we can achieve from aesthetics
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: from art. So you need people to admire, You need
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: to get the sense that there are people out there
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: that can achieve, that can be successful, and that our
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: reflection of what of you. In that sense, it's kind
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: of it gives you a sense of the metaphysics of
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: the world. Right, the world is livable, the world is
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: you can't achieve things in it. The world is knowable.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: So it's a kind of a metaphysical value that you
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: receive from it. Again, similar to the metaph physical value
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: that you're getting from aunt. A loved one also provides
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: the value of companionship. Fenn quote something I like the world.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: Is that person a necessary person? Yes? I mean this
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: person is your reality. She represents your reality, your life,
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: and the necessary for your reality. Your reality would be incomplete,
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: your world would be hollow without it. I mean, a
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: romantic lover of you know, dying, let's say, is tragic.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: It is unbelievably tragic because it's a it's a chunk
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: of your world. It's a it's a huge part of
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: your world just disappearing, going away. And this is the
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: sense in which I don't think there's there's any quite
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: similar experience to a I mean, if there's real romantic
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: love to a spouse dying, it's devastating it's devastating in
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: a way that's very hard to recover and why some
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: people don't recover from it because so much of your
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: life is tied up in the person and more belieing
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: your relationship with this person. All right, so on certain,
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: let me just do something here.
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: Uh all right, So I was getting that was Fake's point.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Fank, good point. Uh the I was talking
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: about companionship. I mean, you marry somebody who you're going
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: to spend a lot of time with, who you're gonna
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: want to enjoy spending a lot of time with. Will
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: you like spending time with who it's fun to spend
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: time with, to talk to experience, to do things together.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: I mean, it reminds me that Jordan Peterson, it's in
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: one of his interviews, I can't remember which one, talked
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: about you want to marry a person who will take
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: care of you when you get sick. And yeah, you
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: want somebody who will take care of you when you
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: get sick because they love you, they value you, and
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: because of that's your relationship. But that's not the reason
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: you want to get married. It's not the reason you
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: fall in love. You want somebody who you can hang
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: out with twenty four seven, and you're cool with that.
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: It doesn't mean you're talking all the time, doesn't mean
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: you do stuff all the time. But you can hang
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: around each other. You can be around each other twenty
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: four seven, and it's good. It adds to your life,
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: it improves. And yes, when you get sick, they take
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: care of you because they love you. And but that's
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: not the reason. It's when you're not sick, you have
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: fun with them, that's the reason. Right. Peterson is so
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: focused on alleviating pain, on the negative, on getting rid
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: of a negative, whereas objectivism we you know, because you know,
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: I'm not speaking here in the name of objectivism, but
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: we are focused on the positive and the value on
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: the on the on the on the good and the
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: positive experiences, on the positives that we can achieve together. Right,
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: And and just being around somebody, uh, and being comfortable
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: around somebody requires a huge amount of trust and an
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: enormous amount of willingness of intimacy. Right, I mean, think
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: about the fact that when you're around somebody twenty four seven,
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: I mean they're experiencing a lot of white you're going through.
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: They're seeing you in the good times and in the
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: bad times, not only do they see you naked, but
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: they see you naked and maybe you know, not having
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: a good time, maybe suffering, maybe sick. All of this
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: is part of that experience of being together. But being
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: together is an enormous value. It's it's it's enormously fulfilling.
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: It it is spiritually rewarding. It is intellectually engaging. I
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: mean being able to watch a TV show, uh, and
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: and then have a you know, and and respond in
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: a similar way or talk about it and you know,
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: engaging conversation about it as you do with a friend,
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: but here with the added element of engaging with a
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: lover is so much more powerful and it makes everything
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: you do much more fun and interesting, right, much more
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: fun and interesting. So companionship is a need at all
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: kinds of levels, but certainly a romantic lover provides you
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: with amazing companionship and commandiership that's not all the time, right,
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: not all the time, not every day you sometimes separate,
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: but a big chunk of your life. And by the way,
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: this is why it's so important to marry the right
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: person right and to make sure the person is the
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: right person and too. Before you get married to really
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: test the relationship. You know, you should probably live together
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: for a while before you get married. You should definitely
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: have sex before you get married. I mean, I'm the
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: opposite of a Christian right. Virginity is u is a
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: vice in you know, not at every point in life,
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: but with somebody who you intend to marry. It's the advice.
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: You want to know that you're compatible. You want to
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: you know, you want to hang around the person you're
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: going to spend the rest of your life with, Spend
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: three months just hanging out constantly together. See if you
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: like each other, See if you really value each other,
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: See if you can manage all the awkwardness sometimes of
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: being with each other all the time. And you know,
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: check to see if you're sexually compatible, if the sex
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: is really really good. If you're going to marry somebody
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: for the rest of your life and you only discover
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: after the wedding night that or during the wedding night
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: that the sex is going to mediocre, it's not going
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: to be good. It's not going to be good. And
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: and sex is not just a simple reflection of who
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: a person is. So if you like somebody, they're going
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: to be in bad a match to you, it doesn't
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: work that way, So test out a relationship before you
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: get married. Marriage is is a long term commitment. Getting
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: out of it as possible, but it's messy and not
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: fun and not good. I mean, it might be the
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: right thing to do, but it's not something to look
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: forward to. So instead of that, try to find somebody
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: that at least you have a high probability of staying
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: with for a long time. Love also provides you with
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: a romantic relationship. Romantic left provides you with being loved,
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: the sense that you are valued. Now, if you have
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: off esteem, you don't need that at a kind of
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: metaphysical level. You don't need that to for self assolution,
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: but it is it's a it's a good feeling to
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: know that somebody appreciates it, that somebody can see you,
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: that you are visible to them, that they you, that
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: they you know, appreciate you for who you really are,
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: for what you really are. It's a validation that is
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: not essential for your self esteem or your happiness, but
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: it adds. So it's a value. So uh, Romantic love
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: provides you with somebody to admire, provides you with companionship,
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: provides you with someone to love you. It's also a
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: means by which you learn about your self. It's it's
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: part of self discovery. What you are capable of, how
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: you deal with different situations, good and challenging ones. Uh.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: You know, a romantic relationship is intense, and again you're
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: spending a huge amount of time together and you're in
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: each other's company and you know, and then if you
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: have kids, then that adds a huge and huge dimension
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: of challenges and stress and everything else. So it's a
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: it's a way to to learn about yourself. Who am I,
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: What am I? What can I achieve? How do I
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: deal with certain situations? It's a way to improve. I mean, certainly,
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: if you get married young, you're not fully formed yet.
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: I got married certainly before I was fully formed and
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: before my wife was formed. It's one of the challenges
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: of getting married young. It's one of the reasons, and
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: not to recommend it. I mean, we we grew up
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: together in that sense. So for us, the whole thing
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: was self discovery. The whole thing was a part of
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: the process of molding oneself. Is the engagement with the
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: other that you love, So it's building oneself at the
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: same time as you're creating the relationship, which is super risky,
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: super risky and hard to do. And again why Mostly
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: I think the recommendation I'm not getting married too young
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: is a good recommendation, which I make in spite of
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: the fact that in my case it worked great. But
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: I realize how unusual and rare that actually is. So
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: a part of building a strong relationship, a part of
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: the value you get from a strong relationship is definitely
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: a process of self discovery, definitely a process of knowing
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: and understanding yourself, and you know, understanding and knowing your
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: values better. I think even sex is a process can
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: be part of a process of self discovery. What do
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: I like? What gives me pleasure is interesting and important
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: to know. Of course, a romantic relationship provides one with
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: an opportunity for sexual fulfillment, sexual fulfillment at a level
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: equality and intensity that can't be matched outside of romantic love.
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: You can have good sex outside of romantic love, but
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: you can't have great sex in the sense of a
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: fully integrated experience outside of romantic love. And it provides
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: you without opportunity, and it provides you without opportunity to
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: be repeated over and over and over again, and it
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: allows you also to because it's a long term relationship,
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: it allows you to experiment, to get to know yourself
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: sexually better, to get to know your partner sexually better,
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: to get to know each other, and to understand sex better.
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: So sexual fulfillment is an important part of romantic love.
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: And you know, of ultimately of marriage, if you decide
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: to marry, and look, I don't I don't consider marriage.
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: Marriage is a contract. It's a particular type of contract.
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: It's a particular type of commitment, long term commitment, and
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: it's certainly, you know, the most common manifestation of romantic love,
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: you know, but it's you know, if you decide to
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: live together, if you want a different type of contract,
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: if you want to make it different. I mean, I
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: don't think there's one contract that is right for every
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: two people. And I don't think that marriage as a
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: formal institution is something that every couple needs to engage in.
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: And if you again, if you do embrace marriage, try
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: it out first and make sure it's right for you.
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: Make sure it's right for you. So I think it's
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: great if people live together for decades. You know, there's
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: there's nothing to say that that is you know, it's
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: it's if you will, it's an implicit marriage. It's an
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: implicit marriage. So you know, sexual fulfillment is about the
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: romantic love and it's it's the ability to repeat it
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: in their ability to enjoy it for decades is one
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: of the features of marriage or one of the features
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: of a long term romantic relationship. And you know, people
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: can have been married and love each other without sex.
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: But again, it's incomplete, it's not the it's not the
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: full potential. It's not what you should aspire to. And
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: if that happens, particularly when you're younger, then the marriage
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: will probably not survive. Given how important sex is in
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: our lives. How you know sex? What is sex? Sex
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: is a is a celebration of life. It is the
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: ultimate celebration of being alive, of of of any good life.
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: I mean, some people use sex to believe their neurosis
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: to some people use sex as a means to achieve
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: I don't know, a pseudo self esteem, a pseudo sense
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: that life is good. But properly with people with self esteem,
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: sex is just this amazing, pleasurable experience where the culmination
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: of it is life is fantastic. If this is what
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: I can experience in life. Life is good, life should
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: be lived. And you know, sex is a great opportunity.
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: We were you know, your pleasure and your desire is met,
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: but you also fulfilling somebody else's pleasure and desire. So
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: you're you're you know, it's it's this amazing win win
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: kind of Uh well, I mean it's it's it's an
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: amazing self you know, reinforcing uh uh uh, creation of values,
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: values call pleasures you pleasure rush, she's pleasuring you. It's
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: all happening simultaneously. It's this amazing phenomena of trade, spiritual,
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: physical trade in in pleasure. It's not in any sense
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: you know one or one you're I'm measuring, but you're
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: both experiencing something phenomenal, something uh that that is life affirming,
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: life celebrating. And of course it's a way to experience
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: oneself as a man or a woman. It's it's the
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: primary way in which we manifest I think, our masculinity
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: or femininity. And and uh, at least in a yeah,
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: it's a it's a it's a way in which you know,
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: you experience yourself as I'm a man. You know, she's
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: a woman, a woman experienced herself as a woman. It's
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: a way to experience your physicality, your biology, if you will,
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: but in the context of a sexual, if a spiritual,
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: emotional experience. Right, all right, So I mean these are
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: kind of needs that I think a long term romantic
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: relationship fulfills and a short term romantic relations fulfilled some
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: of them. You know, the longer term it is, the
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: more you can mine it, the more you can get
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: from it, the more you can experience from it. It's
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: you know, in a sense, particularly when you're married or
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: you when you move in together, you're creating your own
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: little universe. It goes back to this idea of the
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: reality that the other person is your reality. You're creating
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: a reality together. You're building a home. You know, there's
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: an aesthetic element to creating an environment in which you
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: both are living in and you reach a part of
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: you're sharing an experience of building an environment that is
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: uniquely yours. No two homes will look the same. And
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: again it's something you know, how you build a home,
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: What you have in the home, what art you put
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: on the walls, the books that the rest of the experiences,
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: all of that. The more you do together, the more
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: meaningful it becomes, and the more affirming it is of
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: that relationship. So it's not like, yeah, that's the woman's starbary,
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: that's the guy's job, or that's divvy it up these things.
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: You're creating a life, you're creating an environment, You're creating
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: a space. You're creating your own private reality, your own
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: private universe, your own private world in which you get
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: to you get to live, and particularly in the world
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: full of stress and anxiety and challenges and problems and craziness.
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: And it's great to have a place where that doesn't enter,
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: where you know, this is your sanctuary, your refuse, your
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: world where your values are represented in every aspect. This
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: is you know I talk about make your environment beautiful, Well,
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: make it beautiful with the person you really love. Wow. Wow.
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: And of course they're there to share in life's experiences
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: and in the excitement and the pleasure, in the value
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: creation and the value pursued in the in the discovering
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: new things you I don't know, new art, new TV shows,
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: new places to visit, new great paintings, new great sculptures,
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: the pursuit of all of that. You get to share
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: it together. You get to share that excitement, share that passion,
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: You get that shared pursuit with friends. But with a lover,
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: it's romantic lover. It's so much more, it's so much
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: more integrated. It's so much not part of your life,
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: it's part of this universe that you're creating together. So
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: it's it's a truly special, unique relationship. That is I
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: think is it necessary. It is a huge value in
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: one pursuit of happiness. It is a huge add on
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: to happiness. It's it's probably not necessary, but it makes
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: it much easier, much easier. If you're going to be happy,
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: to be happy with somebody, you can share all these
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: things with with somebody who you can admire and and
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: respect and look up to and and love love. So
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: that is a that is a life. That's what it means,
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: you know, to be selfish, it's and it's why it's
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: crucial to pursue it. Make yourself worthy of love, and
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: then go find love. Go try to achieve love, and
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: you know, and embrace it fully and commit to it
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: fully and integrate it fully into your life, into your life.
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: All right. That is me on romantic love for today.
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: I'm sure there's more to say. I know you guys
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: have some questions, so thank you. Thank you to all
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: the super chatters. Thank you to also the stick of people. Wes,
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: thank you really appreciate that. I appreciate the stick of
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: one hundred dollars. That is fantastic. Yeah, Yo, thank you
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: for the sticker. Mike, thank you. And who else do
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: we have? All right, that's a stick of people. Really
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: really really appreciate it. Thank you. You two can support
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: the show if you're on now, if you enjoyed it,
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: if you got some value from it, if you get
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: some value from my shows, then please consider supporting them financially.
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: You can do that by doing a sticker right now.
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: And that does nign over question. But even better, particularly
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: on this topic, it's ask questions. I don't know who
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: you are. There's anonymity to it, so feel free to
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: ask about anything, but ask questions. You know that it
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: enriches the show. If I get interesting questions about a
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: topic that I think people have a lot of questions about,
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: I'd be shocked if people didn't have a lot of
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: questions on love and sex and marriage and these things.
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: For two dollars, you can ask a question and enrich
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: the show, get your answer question answered, and hear the
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: answers from other people. So you know, it's one thing
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: to we talk a lot about politics and the events
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: of the day because I do a new show every day,
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: but then the day, those are the kind of things
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: that you don't control. We can have opinions one way
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: about immigration, about Trump. I mean, Trump's there, Immigration is
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: what it is. You don't control those things, but your
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: romantic relationship. You control how you live your life. You
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: control the kind of person you become, You control the
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: kind of relationships you have. You control, So you want
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: to really dig in, you want to really understand these
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: are the kind of topics that are so much more
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: crucial than any particular event of the day, any particular
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: event of the day, So jump in. I know a
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: lot of you are commenting in the comment section, but
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: I can't look at the comment section so there's too
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: much going on, So I'm gonna I'm gonna just take
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: so if you want me to comment on what you're saying,
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: or you want to contribute to the discussion more fully.
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: Remember like ten times more people listen to the s
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: after the fact and don't see the chat and then
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: ask a question, make a comment, contribute on the super
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: chat and that way this will be much more engaging
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: and we'll cover more topics, topics that have interest to you.
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: All right, Before we get to that, I just want
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: to remind everybody I will be doing a seminar in
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: London on February twenty eighth on capitalism. It's called in
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: Defensive Profits. Why prosperity doesn't need permission, what prosperity requires,
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: how we got to it, how we achieved it, the
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: philosophical moral foundations of it, but also just the history
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: and economics of it. So and of course i'll answer
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: lots and lots of questions. That will be a small
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: group environment check it out. You can find information about
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: it in the link that I'm going to put in
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: the chat. But for those of you not on the chat,
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: you can find information about it on my website. You're
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: on book show dot com, you run Brookeshow one word
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: dot com and just go to the event on February
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: twenty eighth and click on click on tickets and it'll
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: take you to Everbright where all the information about the
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: event are present, Central London, Saturday, February twenty eighth from
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: one to five pm and then we can all hang
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: out for dinner afterwards. So it's a small group. It'll
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: be fun, intimate and get to talk about a lot
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: of different things and feel free to jump in. Feel
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: free to sign up. And as soon as you sign
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: up to the bed it's only two weeks away. Today's
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: the fourteenth, so talking about the twenty eighth, it's only
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: two weeks away. And I need to know how many
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: people are coming, So i'd appreciate those of you are
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: listening to the show if you intend to If you
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: intend to come, then sign up now. Don't wait because
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: I need in the next few days. I need to
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: pick a room size, if you will, to h to
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: rent in order to do this. All right, let's uh,
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: let's go to the questions in the super chat. Thank
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: you to all the super chats for asking the questions.
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: Paul says, if you fall in love with a person's
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: sense of life, and if there are vowed philosophy changes,
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: how will that affect one's love of that person? I mean,
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: I think it can affect that. I mean I think
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: if if you send, if there's a if there's any
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: kind of conflict between that sense of life that you're
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: falling in love with and the explicit values and your values,
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: then there's going to be stress intention in the relationship.
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: And then the question is is that sense of life
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: is it long enough? Is it strong enough to sustain
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: that love? And it might not be. I mean again, ideally,
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: you want to fall with their You fall in love
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: with their implicit values, their sense of life and the
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: explicit values are consistent with it, and they're explicit values
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: aligned with yours at least to a lot to some extent.
• 58:24
  Speaker 1: And when that's not the case, it's going to stress
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: the relationship. There's just no way around it. There's going
• 58:30
  Speaker 1: to be things that you disagree. And the more intense
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: the relationship becomes, the more that happens. And if you
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: have kids, and how do we raise the kids, what
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: values that we provide the kids, all of that is
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: going to be enormously challenging. So again, ideally you find
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: a person who you can share both explicity and implicity,
• 58:50
  Speaker 1: and if they change, if they change over the course
• 58:54
  Speaker 1: of the relationship, well depends if they get better, if
• 58:59
  Speaker 1: they get more aligned with your values, then that's better.
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: If they get less aligned with your values, it's going
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: to be problematic, and there's no easy way around that fact.
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: And if you might fall out of love with that person,
• 59:13
  Speaker 1: or you might even decide that whatever love you have
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: for the person, it's just not worth living with them
• 59:20
  Speaker 1: because there's too much conflict. So, you know, living with
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: somebody requires a certain deep alignment of values because if
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: there isn't, it's going to be they're going to be
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: all kinds of challenges. And as values shift over life,
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: if they're shifting away from one another, I think that's
• 59:41
  Speaker 1: when people that's when people get divorced. They might be
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: aligned early and then they drift apart. People get married,
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: by the way, for all kinds of reasons that have
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: anything to do with a deep romantic, selfish romantic love.
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: So they have to do more with with less to
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 1: end more with. Uh. You know, we need you know,
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: everybody gets married.
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 3: Or more with uh kind of a sense of this
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 3: is what, this is what you do and this you
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 3: know again it's it's romantic love and it's full of sense.
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: Really requires a self esteem that I don't know that
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: most people have out there. So it's it's quite an achievement.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: It's quite an achievement. Uh, Shasbot has a quote from
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: Mulin Rouge. Molin Rouge, love is like oxygen. Love is
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: a many splendid thing. Love lifts us up where we belong.
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: I like that love lifts us up where we belong.
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: All you need is love, All you need is love.
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: It's the beds. So yes, love is like oxygen. Love
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: is the many splendid things oxygen the sense that it's
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: required for survival. It's many splendid things. Yeah, it's got many,
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: many ways in which it's splendid, and it lifts us up.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 1: One of the things a loved one does is makes you,
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: or should make you want to be better. You want
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: to deserve their love, and you want to make sure
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 1: you deserve they love, and you want to make sure
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: that you continue to deserve their love. See, you have
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 1: to constantly live up to their love. So it's it's
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 1: a challenge to you. It's a real challenge, and in
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: that sense a positive challenge to be the best that
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: you can be and to keep up being the best
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: that you can be. Adam, can you speak to this
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: in terms of morality of real and Dagnes's relationship. Would
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 1: it be viewed differently if Lilian were a good person. Well,
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: what is immoral about their relationship? In my view, there's
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 1: nothing immoral about the relationship. Arguably, you know, Realdon is
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: deceiving Lilian, that's the immorality. But there's nothing Dagnes is
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: doing this emol She's having sex with somebody she loves.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: She's pursuing her values. And the immorality, you know, if
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: there is, and there isn't in this case. But the immortality,
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: if there is, has to do with Readon's life with Lilian,
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: and the lying to Lilian or the deception of Lilian
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: is the least of the immoralities that Riandon is committing
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: vis a vie Lilian. It's that he's living with Lilyan
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: the tim It's that he's married to Lilian. The Timo's
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 1: that he continues to have a relationship with Lilian. The simal.
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 1: It's that he now you could arguably it's an era
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: of knowledge, not a not an immorality maybe, but still
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 1: it's it's it's wrong, and the fact that he has
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 1: a sense of duty around it, that's what he needs
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: to rebel against this. Indeed, his relationship with Dagne is
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 1: the only healthy, good moral relationship that he actually has
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 1: non evasive I mean the fact that he has this
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 1: call it barbaric attitude towards sex, this animalistic attitude towards
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 1: sex that is reflected in a speech right after they
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: have well after in the morning, after they have sex
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 1: for the first time in Wine's home. That's the problem
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 1: that I see with Reid in not the fact that
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: he's having sex with another woman when Lilian is such
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 1: a awful human being and his relationship with her is
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: built on sacrifice and duty. Now, if Lilian was a
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: good person, then he would owe her the respect of
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: being truthful. But that doesn't necessarily mean that his relationship
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: with Dagny would be imo if he told Lilian, if
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 1: he was truthful with Lilian. And it could be that
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 1: this is a transition where let's say Lilian is a
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: good person but not but he's you know, his real
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: love is Dagney. This is the transition of him moving
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 1: from Lily into Dagny. Do you have to have a
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 1: formal break in the marriage before you start a relationship
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 1: with somebody else. I don't think so. I mean, again,
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: you have to be truthful about it. You have to
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 1: be if the person is deserving of the truth. I
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: don't think Lilian is deserving of the truth, but if
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 1: the person is deserving the truth. And again, the crime
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 1: that Riandon commits towards himself is to hold on to
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 1: this view of sex, to hold on to his view
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: of marriage, to be willing to engage in the self
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 1: sacrifice that he does, and the morality embrace the morality
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 1: of duty that he does Visavililian. It's not even the
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 1: Lilian is the problem here. It's and now she's a
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 1: bad person, But he needs to learn to pursue his
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 1: selfish values. He needs to learn then morality is not
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 1: about duty and morality is not about sex. And his
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 1: relationship with Dagny is the way he learns that. I
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: mean also his relationship with Francisco. But it's an important
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: way in which he learns it. And it's not you know,
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 1: the fact that he's unfaithful. You know, being sexually faithful
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 1: to a partner is not the highest value that one has.
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 1: It's it's a part of being of honesty. But he's
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 1: he's dishonest with Lindia in all kinds of ways, right,
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: But more importantly, you could argue is dishonest with himself.
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 1: And he has to learn that. He has to figure
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 1: that out. He has to learn what it actually means,
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: what valuing actually means, what what life actually means, and
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 1: what sex actually means. And that is that is a process.
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 1: That is the process. So no, I I I don't
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 1: think I don't see any problem with that relationship. I
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 1: think it's it's again, it's it's it's the only moral
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: relationship in a sense he has and you know, his
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: relationship with Lily and his emol and he needs to
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 1: get rid of that. He needs to end the email
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 1: relationship and embrace the moral relationship. The relationship that is
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 1: a win win, a trade, a relationship, a relationship that's
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 1: value adding. That's that's you know, there's some is greater
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 1: than its parts. Whatever, however you want to think of
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 1: it right other way you want to think of it
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 1: all right? Uh, Jennifer, What do you think is the
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 1: difference between nagging and asking for what you want? It
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 1: is a term apply to women more often. Do you
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 1: think it can be used to try to dissuade a
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 1: woman from asserting her needs. I mean it could be,
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 1: but I think nagging is nagging. I think almost all
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 1: this is a is repetitive. It's uh, you know, it's
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 1: a it's a kind of a constant reminder, you know,
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 1: as if I'm nagged. I mean my mother used to
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 1: nag me, right, and it was like do your homework, yeah,
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 1: I'll do it, and then ten minutes later, do your
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 1: home you know, or whatever the issue is. It's the repetition,
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 1: even after the request has been acknowledged. Take out the garbage, Okay,
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 1: I will, you know, ten minutes later, take out the
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 1: you know. It's it's it's over and over and over again.
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 1: That I think is uh, is is what it means
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 1: to be nagging. I'm sure it can be used to
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 1: dissuade a woman from as suiting her needs, but the
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 1: woman has to be and it is something that I
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 1: think women do more than men. But I don't know why,
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 1: and I don't know if that's true in all relationships.
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 1: It's whoever's doing the quote nagging has to be aware of. Okay,
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 1: I've asked if they respect me, they'll do you know,
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 1: asking ten times is not you know, and then if
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 1: they do it, that's not that's not a good sign.
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 1: So you've got to You've got to give the other
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 1: partner space. And respect and trust that they hoard you,
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 1: they acknowledge they heard you, and they will follow through
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 1: with that. They will follow through with it. So I think,
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 1: I don't think throwing around your nagging is a good
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 1: way to deal with somebody. But you have to be
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 1: a self aware that if you are actually engaged in
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 1: nagging and don't and I know sometimes would you think
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 1: And this is you know, you're living with somebody, and
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 1: living with another human being is hard. It's it's more
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 1: than being a roommate. It's it's you're in your life,
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 1: you're in their life. They're in your life constantly, and
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 1: it's a challenge. And sometimes what one party thinks is
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 1: really really important a particular moment, the other party thinks
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 1: is not that important. Some person one party thinks it's urgent,
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 1: the other one doesn't. So you learn to figure this
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 1: out about each other. But it's a source of tension.
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 1: It's it's there's no question about it. You know, marriage
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 1: is not you know, just all twenty four to seven
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 1: harmony and and orgasm and and and complete alignment. It's
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 1: there's going to be friction and part of part of
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 1: having a good marriage is figuring out how to deal
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 1: with the friction, how to deal with one another with
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 1: the friction in a respectful way. And the worst thing
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 1: and the worst fights you have with a spouse when
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 1: one of you doesn't treat the other with respect. And
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 1: you know, you could view nagging as a forum of
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 1: self as of lack of respect, but you can also
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 1: review view the dismissal of somebody of the other party's
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 1: request as an expression of lack of respect. So it's
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 1: tricky communicating regularly about everything in our lives. I don'
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 1: want to minimize the difficulty and complexity is part of
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 1: the challenge and part of what you know. Challenging things
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 1: are fun and important things and should be embraced, right
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 1: all right? Uh, thank you, Jennifer Molten splendor. From what
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 1: I have observed, you are a very kind and patient person,
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 1: but also very direct. Is this the same love language
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 1: that you have with your wife? Yeah, I mean, I
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 1: think we're both very direct. We don't play games, we
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 1: don't beat around the bush or I don't know, you know,
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 1: people are too people are not direct enough I think
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 1: in life, particularly Americans just not you know, say what
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 1: you think, say say what you actually think, and and
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 1: and deal with the consequences, deal with the consequences, and
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 1: certainly in an intimate, close relationship, you have to do that.
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 1: I think I'm I'm a kind and patient person. Mostly
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 1: I can't say that I'm always. Once in a while
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 1: I'm not, and when I'm not, my wife is surprised
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 1: unpleasantly so, but mostly I'm kind and impatient. And but
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 1: it's but the directness is I think, really really important.
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 1: And uh, but you know, my wife have our way
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 1: of communicating with one another, uh and uh, our level
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 1: of intensity and uh yeah, and Jennifer said, be tactful though,
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 1: and and yeah, you want to be tactful, absolutely, and
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 1: you want to understand context and what's going on, but
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 1: you also want to be direct. So it's a it's
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 1: a it's a combination of these things. And as you
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 1: get to know the other person better over years, decades
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 1: and some cases hopefully your communications just keeps getting better.
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 1: The love language keeps getting more informed and better all
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 1: the time. So yes, it is, but you have to
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 1: find every one of You have to find your own
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 1: way in which you deal with that person you're in
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 1: this relationship with. You have to find your way of
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 1: communication that is consistent and beneficial to your relationship ego
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 1: skate up. How to explain the larger than average number
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 1: of good Korean shows, So what you're talking about love
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 1: comments in their attitude regarding romantic relationship. I mean, I
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 1: don't know, is the actual answer. I just don't know
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 1: why there is such a high number of high quality
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 1: Korean shows that emphasize values and that deal with romantic
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 1: relationships in what I think is a mature, interesting way.
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 1: Although the one thing they don't deal with I think
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 1: from the show's I've seen is with sex. They kind
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 1: of shy away from the topic of sex in a
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 1: way that I find annoying and just generally physical intimacy.
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 1: You see very little kissing, hugging, and certainly even you know,
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 1: the innuendo of sexual relationship is taken. On the other hand,
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 1: the idea of loving that which you value, the idea
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 1: even of visibility. I think mister Sunshine is great on this.
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 1: She sees him, he sees her, and they see who
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 1: they are. That is, it's more than just seeing, it's
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 1: who are you is? You know, is super insightful and
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 1: visually stunning in the way they project that the love
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 1: the other man half of the lead woman, even though
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 1: they can never attain her, it's the same thing. She
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 1: is a reflection of values that they would love to
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 1: live up to, and in some sense, no, they haven't.
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 1: In in a one class, the relationship between him and
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 1: the two the hero and the two women who love him,
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 1: and who he ultimately chooses and why and how his
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 1: relationship with each one of them evolves is so well done.
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 1: It's so mature, it's so adults. Even though it starts
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 1: off as like a high school drama, it becomes very
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 1: quickly a very mature, very adult kind of investigation into
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 1: relationship ships and really admirable. And again there's this hero worship,
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 1: this scene that your value is projected in another and
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 1: when the and then there's a change that happens because
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 1: you might have thought the other represented certain values and
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 1: maybe they didn't, and maybe then you are disappointed, and
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 1: maybe then you discover your values really are projected in
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 1: this other person, and maybe you should love this other person,
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 1: not the person you originally thought. So all of that
• 1:17:36
  Speaker 1: is in there, and my country has I think a
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 1: very also has a mature view of love. So really,
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 1: really good, solid Again with the exception of sex, which
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 1: is unfortunate, depictions of romantic relationships that are stunning. And
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 1: I don't know, because it's a culture in Korea where
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 1: marriage is way in decline, nobody's having very few people
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 1: having children, sex is in decline. It's very difficult to understand.
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 1: I don't understand. I don't know enough about Korean culture
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 1: to know where it comes from. So I don't know.
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 1: I wish I did. Maybe it's I mean, they deal
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 1: all with the past. Maybe it's this very fast rice
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 1: to success. You know, in the nineteen fifties nineteen sixties
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 1: they were just as poor as North Korea poor even
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 1: at the end of the Korean War, and since the
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 1: seventies they have dramatically grown wealth. They went from a
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 1: very feudal society where serfs are basically slaves all into
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 1: the twentieth century serfs with slaves, to a merit bait society.
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 1: They went from very a society very much based on
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 1: the centrality of the male and women are second third
• 1:19:11
  Speaker 1: class citizens, to a society in which women are work
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 1: and engaged and make a living and independent at a
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 1: speed that very few other societies have gone at. So
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 1: there's something about that change and that maturing that happened
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 1: very very quickly. Maybe that's what's reflected in the dramas.
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Fank, thank you fifty dollars question. Really
• 1:19:38
  Speaker 1: appreciate that, I says, I loved the aesthetic Education of
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 1: Man by Shila almost a romantic relationship. Reading Capital and
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 1: Production by Richard Struggle, I haven't read that a neglected
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 1: Austrian classic on the crucial role on formation of capital
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 1: and wealth in society. That sounds good. Have to look
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 1: that up. I'm not familiar with the Struggle. But yes, Schiller,
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 1: Schiller's I mean, in many respects, Schiller is the kind
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 1: of the father of Romanticism in art of and and
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 1: I think that romantic art in that it expresses these
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 1: basic fundational values of human beings. There was a relationship
• 1:20:26
  Speaker 1: between romantic art and romantic love and so so yes,
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 1: there's there's this deep emotional response that we can have
• 1:20:37
  Speaker 1: to romantic art. Can't really, I don't think he can
• 1:20:40
  Speaker 1: have that too naturalistic art, but to romantic art were
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 1: because of the way Manners represented. So you know, Schiller
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 1: was was crucial in the history of art his plays,
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 1: but also his theoretical writings and really launched romanticism. Romantics
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 1: will launch in Germany at the end of the eighteenth century,
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 1: and yes, and flourished in both literature and in things
• 1:21:12
  Speaker 1: like music and other art forms. Thank you, Frank, really
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 1: appreciate the support. And whoops, what did I do? Nice?
• 1:21:23
  Speaker 1: Pissed a long button and said, all right, Josh can
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 1: selfish people and committed relationships morally choose to have an
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 1: open relationship or sex outside of their marriage relationship if
• 1:21:36
  Speaker 1: both parties sanction it. Yes, I think they can. I
• 1:21:42
  Speaker 1: don't see any reason not to, other than it probably
• 1:21:48
  Speaker 1: won't work, but that has to be discovered. That can't
• 1:21:52
  Speaker 1: be assumed. And maybe it works for some people, and
• 1:21:55
  Speaker 1: maybe it works for a period in one's marriage. So
• 1:21:59
  Speaker 1: imagine you get married young, and then you want to
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 1: explore kind of an open marriage kind of situation in
• 1:22:07
  Speaker 1: your late twenties and early thirties, and then by your
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 1: mid thirties you've decided to recommit to a monogamous relationship.
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 1: So there's all kinds of variations on this, all kinds
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 1: of ways this can evolve. There are periods of time
• 1:22:22
  Speaker 1: where I think it can work. I don't think it
• 1:22:25
  Speaker 1: can work long term because I just don't think we
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 1: have the energy, focus time that would be necessary to
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 1: develop more than one romantic relationship. So you know, maybe so, yes,
• 1:22:47
  Speaker 1: I think I think it's the big So, I don't
• 1:22:50
  Speaker 1: think there's anything. If you've got self esteem and your
• 1:22:52
  Speaker 1: spouse have self esteem, if your people are self esteem,
• 1:22:54
  Speaker 1: and you have full confidence in yourself and your relationship,
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 1: there's no threat of the other the other party experimenting
• 1:23:03
  Speaker 1: or doing something like that, it's not really a threat
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 1: to you. If they if there's some finding some value
• 1:23:09
  Speaker 1: in it for them, then you know they're growing that
• 1:23:14
  Speaker 1: that should help your relationship. But again I don't think
• 1:23:19
  Speaker 1: it's I don't think it's probably sustainable over the long run,
• 1:23:23
  Speaker 1: primarily just because of the any relationship that has any
• 1:23:28
  Speaker 1: kind of meaning right beyonder one night stand, but any
• 1:23:32
  Speaker 1: kind of meaning is going to require energy and time,
• 1:23:35
  Speaker 1: and that is the thing we're most limited up, particularly
• 1:23:38
  Speaker 1: as we get older. So and you know, and people
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 1: talk about polygamy or palliamori or whatever those kind of relationships.
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 1: So again I think the main obstacle there is is
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 1: time and energy. Uh, there's nothing that I don't you know,
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 1: I don't know. But as far as I know, there's
• 1:23:59
  Speaker 1: nothing that makes it impossible for human beings to be
• 1:24:07
  Speaker 1: non monogamous, and I don't see Again, I don't see
• 1:24:12
  Speaker 1: an immorality. If truly both people agree and there's no
• 1:24:16
  Speaker 1: dishonesty and there's no deception, and there's no uh sacrifice,
• 1:24:23
  Speaker 1: if you're not asking anybody to sacrifice, then I really
• 1:24:28
  Speaker 1: don't see a problem in it. Again, I think experimenting
• 1:24:32
  Speaker 1: and figuring out if it works, it doesn't, don't be
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 1: surprised if it doesn't. It's also not everybody. Most people
• 1:24:40
  Speaker 1: can't probably handle the emotional tension that it creates, or
• 1:24:46
  Speaker 1: the and and a lot of people don't have the
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 1: self esteem that that allows. You know that they're not
• 1:24:56
  Speaker 1: secure enough in themselves to allow to not be ellos
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 1: when their partner, you know, is somebody else. So it's
• 1:25:05
  Speaker 1: not it's risky. It's very very risky. Hopefully that answers it, Josh,
• 1:25:15
  Speaker 1: I don't know if to satisfaction, but hopefully that's an answer,
• 1:25:19
  Speaker 1: all right, Lincoln. Love is the ultimate active rational selfishness.
• 1:25:24
  Speaker 1: It involves you voluntarily having people in your life based
• 1:25:28
  Speaker 1: on how they make you happier. It's sad how many
• 1:25:31
  Speaker 1: people of you love marriage. Kids are sacrificial in nature. Yes,
• 1:25:35
  Speaker 1: it's tragic, and it makes it impossible for those people
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 1: to ultimately really achieve happiness. Lincoln, why do so many
• 1:25:48
  Speaker 1: people say sex before marriage is wrong? To me, it's
• 1:25:51
  Speaker 1: wrong not to because sexual compatibility is so important marriage. Yeah,
• 1:25:55
  Speaker 1: I mean they say it because they're religious. There's no
• 1:26:00
  Speaker 1: reason in reality, there's no reason in the nature of man,
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 1: there's no reason in the nature of values to restrict
• 1:26:07
  Speaker 1: sex to marriage. So the only reason that it is
• 1:26:13
  Speaker 1: possible is because it says in some ancient book that
• 1:26:19
  Speaker 1: that's the way you're supposed to behave the only reason
• 1:26:23
  Speaker 1: I can think of. But I agree. I literally think
• 1:26:26
  Speaker 1: it's imall to get married without having sex first, because
• 1:26:30
  Speaker 1: you're jeopardizing the relationship and you're jeopardizing a big chunk
• 1:26:34
  Speaker 1: of your life. Because again, marriage is commitment, is how
• 1:26:37
  Speaker 1: to get out of. It should be hard to get
• 1:26:38
  Speaker 1: out of, and it is how to get out of.
• 1:26:40
  Speaker 1: So when you engage in that commitment, you want to
• 1:26:44
  Speaker 1: be sure that that is what you want. And sex
• 1:26:47
  Speaker 1: is such a crucial part of marriage of romantic relationships
• 1:26:50
  Speaker 1: that you should experience it. You should know if it's
• 1:26:53
  Speaker 1: right for you or not so I agree completely, Troy.
• 1:27:00
  Speaker 1: Thank you. Troy just came in with five hundred Australian dollars,
• 1:27:04
  Speaker 1: and given the weakness of the US dollar, that's worth
• 1:27:07
  Speaker 1: more American dollars than usual. So thank you, Troy. I
• 1:27:11
  Speaker 1: really really appreciate that. And thank you for listening and
• 1:27:16
  Speaker 1: for all your generous support throughout the year. Thank you,
• 1:27:20
  Speaker 1: thank you, thank you. All Right, Merrymans, this is a
• 1:27:29
  Speaker 1: message to philosophy at work, not to me, the philosophy
• 1:27:32
  Speaker 1: at work. I can't wait to marry you. The rest
• 1:27:36
  Speaker 1: of my sentiments are not appropriate for ybs. Not appropriate
• 1:27:43
  Speaker 1: for ybs. What could should be thinking of? I mean,
• 1:27:47
  Speaker 1: this is a pretty pretty, pretty pretty adult, adult friendly place, Lincoln.
• 1:27:59
  Speaker 1: Love is a battlefield, Pat Bensta, I mean Ben asked
• 1:28:04
  Speaker 1: to that's horrible sentiment. Battlefield is destructive, it's lose win, lose, lose. Really,
• 1:28:11
  Speaker 1: it's bloody, it's painful. Love is the exact opposite, Michael A.
• 1:28:20
  Speaker 1: Vitamin supplements better than many traditional medications since they are
• 1:28:24
  Speaker 1: not regulated by the FDA. No, because they're not batter
• 1:28:31
  Speaker 1: because only certain things can be supplements, so you can,
• 1:28:37
  Speaker 1: for example, all to them in any way, but altering
• 1:28:42
  Speaker 1: them and would make them better. So a lot of
• 1:28:43
  Speaker 1: supplements would be better if they want supplements if they
• 1:28:46
  Speaker 1: were medicines, but that would require the expense of running
• 1:28:50
  Speaker 1: trials for the FDA, So we actually are not getting
• 1:28:54
  Speaker 1: the best version of the supplements. Because every supplement out
• 1:28:58
  Speaker 1: there could be potentially improved with science. Mary Bins would
• 1:29:02
  Speaker 1: know better about this than I do. Every something I
• 1:29:05
  Speaker 1: could be improved by science, and yet nobody has an
• 1:29:10
  Speaker 1: incentive to do that because THEFT is going to require
• 1:29:13
  Speaker 1: you to run all the tests and get approval, and
• 1:29:15
  Speaker 1: it costs you a fortune, so that improvement never happens.
• 1:29:18
  Speaker 1: She is stuck with supplements qua natural, which might not
• 1:29:22
  Speaker 1: be the best, often are not the best. Thank you,
• 1:29:28
  Speaker 1: Michael aj. I can't get my head around platonic love.
• 1:29:33
  Speaker 1: Is it even real? What are those people playing at?
• 1:29:37
  Speaker 1: I don't get it, Doctor brook Well again. Platonic love
• 1:29:41
  Speaker 1: is somebody you love and admire and respect and emotionally
• 1:29:46
  Speaker 1: are connected to, but are not sexually attracted to. So
• 1:29:49
  Speaker 1: it could be somebody of the same sex when you're heterosexual,
• 1:29:53
  Speaker 1: it could be a woman who you admire her mind,
• 1:29:57
  Speaker 1: but not attracted to her because maybe you're in a
• 1:30:01
  Speaker 1: relationship with somebody else. So because there's something about her
• 1:30:04
  Speaker 1: sense of life that you don't respect, but you still
• 1:30:06
  Speaker 1: you don't You don't not respect, you don't connect with
• 1:30:10
  Speaker 1: but you can. You still have a deep sense of camaraderie,
• 1:30:16
  Speaker 1: and you have a deep sense of respect. So you
• 1:30:19
  Speaker 1: have to separate. It's a form of love that's not romantic.
• 1:30:26
  Speaker 1: And there are lots of forms of love that are
• 1:30:28
  Speaker 1: not romantic. This is one of them. Lincoln Shapiro had
• 1:30:38
  Speaker 1: a horrible advice for marrying, said it should be done
• 1:30:41
  Speaker 1: in your early twenties, with kids being the primary goal,
• 1:30:45
  Speaker 1: and suppress premarital sex. Yes, I know he's religious and
• 1:30:51
  Speaker 1: his values and primarily driven by religion, and you know
• 1:30:56
  Speaker 1: it's it's an incredibly unhealthy So don't get to know
• 1:31:01
  Speaker 1: your wife, don't get to know who you're marry, don't
• 1:31:06
  Speaker 1: establish a shared life and shared values. Just have kids
• 1:31:11
  Speaker 1: and that should be what unites you. But you know,
• 1:31:19
  Speaker 1: you don't have a connection between the two of you,
• 1:31:22
  Speaker 1: You don't have an intimacy between the two of you.
• 1:31:24
  Speaker 1: You don't have you know, kids, Uh, And then I
• 1:31:27
  Speaker 1: guess you stop having sex once you have the kids,
• 1:31:30
  Speaker 1: and once the kids have grown up, you just stop
• 1:31:32
  Speaker 1: having sex because what's the point of sex is to
• 1:31:35
  Speaker 1: have kids, So forget about sex after that, which is
• 1:31:39
  Speaker 1: what a what a waste, what a shame? What you know,
• 1:31:43
  Speaker 1: it's pathetic. So it's pathetic. What can I say? All right?
• 1:31:53
  Speaker 1: Real Spock, was passion of Romeo and Juliet a bit irrational? Well,
• 1:31:59
  Speaker 1: I'm I mean it, No, you could wonder whether you know,
• 1:32:05
  Speaker 1: you can wonder whether there is such a thing as
• 1:32:07
  Speaker 1: as love at first sight. But assuming there is, assuming
• 1:32:11
  Speaker 1: there is, uh, and I think I man certainly believe
• 1:32:14
  Speaker 1: there is. Then what means really fall in love and
• 1:32:19
  Speaker 1: they also fall in lust, and there's nothing irrational about that.
• 1:32:25
  Speaker 1: And if you if you actually you know, read or
• 1:32:29
  Speaker 1: watch or see the play of how what they express,
• 1:32:33
  Speaker 1: how they expect. I mean, they're very the real values
• 1:32:36
  Speaker 1: and the very expressive about their emotions, and it's powerful.
• 1:32:40
  Speaker 1: So I think you have to project on it that
• 1:32:42
  Speaker 1: this is real, that they really did fall in love,
• 1:32:45
  Speaker 1: you know, and it's not irrational. The fact that the
• 1:32:49
  Speaker 1: world is a rayed against them is a sad consequence
• 1:32:53
  Speaker 1: of the irrationality of the world, not a reflection of
• 1:32:57
  Speaker 1: their irrationality. Just before I go on, just want to
• 1:33:04
  Speaker 1: remind you that I'm doing the seminar in London Fabruary
• 1:33:07
  Speaker 1: twenty eighth on capitalism. You can check out all the
• 1:33:09
  Speaker 1: information about it. It's on Fairry twenty eighth, which is
• 1:33:12
  Speaker 1: a Saturday. It's two weeks. There's not a lot of
• 1:33:13
  Speaker 1: time to register. I know I lift this the last minute,
• 1:33:16
  Speaker 1: but please sign up if you intend to come sooner
• 1:33:19
  Speaker 1: rather than later, because I need a number. I need
• 1:33:21
  Speaker 1: to know how many people are coming. So you can
• 1:33:25
  Speaker 1: find information at your on bookshow dot com. Your on
• 1:33:28
  Speaker 1: bookshow dot com, scroll down to events. Find the event
• 1:33:31
  Speaker 1: on Fairy twenty eight. Press tickets that'll take you to
• 1:33:34
  Speaker 1: the event bright site. You're not literally buying a ticket
• 1:33:38
  Speaker 1: when you press that, it's just taking you to the
• 1:33:39
  Speaker 1: event bright site where you'll get all the information about
• 1:33:43
  Speaker 1: it and where you can buy a ticket to a
• 1:33:45
  Speaker 1: tend So yeah, do that before before before it's too late,
• 1:33:49
  Speaker 1: and in a way that gives me enough time to
• 1:33:52
  Speaker 1: book the right room for the right number of people.
• 1:33:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, How can a couple preserve their love throughout
• 1:34:01
  Speaker 1: the years? Well, I mean there is no formula that
• 1:34:05
  Speaker 1: The basic way to do that is to stay ambitious
• 1:34:12
  Speaker 1: with regard to your own values and who you are
• 1:34:16
  Speaker 1: as an individual, that is, make yourself, make sure that
• 1:34:22
  Speaker 1: you continue to be worthy of love. And then, in
• 1:34:26
  Speaker 1: terms of the relationship with your spouse, communicate, have sex,
• 1:34:35
  Speaker 1: have you know, intimacy which doesn't necessarily involve sex. Uh,
• 1:34:40
  Speaker 1: shared experiences, build on whatever shared values you have to
• 1:34:47
  Speaker 1: create more shared values to build unshared values to you know, so,
• 1:34:51
  Speaker 1: so be worthy first, so so be rational, be uh,
• 1:34:58
  Speaker 1: be be a a human being with character. And then
• 1:35:05
  Speaker 1: make sure that you're spending time you know, uh, they're
• 1:35:11
  Speaker 1: spending productive time together. Time that is building that is
• 1:35:15
  Speaker 1: value over in it, that is focused on on on
• 1:35:18
  Speaker 1: good stuff, on on positive experiences, and on building values,
• 1:35:24
  Speaker 1: creating values. And you know so, so if you enjoy art, enjoy,
• 1:35:28
  Speaker 1: try to enjoy together and then learn about new things
• 1:35:31
  Speaker 1: together and go and explore together and travel together and
• 1:35:34
  Speaker 1: do stuff together. So and make that a standing order.
• 1:35:41
  Speaker 1: Don't don't just get into a pattern. Don't just get
• 1:35:43
  Speaker 1: into a uh, you know, a repetitive. Don't take each
• 1:35:49
  Speaker 1: other for granted. Express your love on a regular basis,
• 1:35:57
  Speaker 1: Talk to one another on a regular basis, hold hands,
• 1:36:02
  Speaker 1: do all the little things that show that you care,
• 1:36:05
  Speaker 1: even in the midst of having kids and crazy stuff
• 1:36:09
  Speaker 1: going on at work and everything else, but that reaffirm
• 1:36:13
  Speaker 1: and reassert that connection on a regular basis. Those are
• 1:36:20
  Speaker 1: some other things, Adam, Is it virtuous to romantically pursue
• 1:36:25
  Speaker 1: another person who reflects values you aspire to but haven't
• 1:36:29
  Speaker 1: yet achieved get your own shit together first? Or okay
• 1:36:33
  Speaker 1: to have that person be a catalyst, so long as
• 1:36:36
  Speaker 1: they aren't sacrificing. Yeah, I think it's okay for them
• 1:36:39
  Speaker 1: to be a catalyst. Again, as long as they're not sacrificing.
• 1:36:42
  Speaker 1: And you know, if they are responding to you, they're
• 1:36:46
  Speaker 1: often obviously responding to something positive in you, So don't
• 1:36:50
  Speaker 1: fake it, don't don't make them think you're something you're not.
• 1:36:56
  Speaker 1: But you know, it's absolutely one of the values of
• 1:37:00
  Speaker 1: romantic love is that it makes you better. I mean,
• 1:37:03
  Speaker 1: if you aspire to living up to it, then it
• 1:37:07
  Speaker 1: makes you better. So I think it's absolutely fine to
• 1:37:11
  Speaker 1: pursue such a person as long as there's no Again,
• 1:37:14
  Speaker 1: there's no fakery, there's no fantasy, there's no illusions, there's reality,
• 1:37:19
  Speaker 1: and there's no sacrificing real spark. The worst thing about marriage,
• 1:37:27
  Speaker 1: if you love each other is one of you will
• 1:37:29
  Speaker 1: die first, since neither of you wants to die at all,
• 1:37:32
  Speaker 1: how do you address this? I don't know it. It's
• 1:37:37
  Speaker 1: really hard, it's really problematic. I mean, there's a whole
• 1:37:41
  Speaker 1: problem of getting really old, which as you get old
• 1:37:46
  Speaker 1: becomes more real or as you see your parents happen
• 1:37:49
  Speaker 1: to your parents. So how do you deal with disease
• 1:37:52
  Speaker 1: and decline and cognitive decline? How do you deal with
• 1:37:55
  Speaker 1: those things? It really depends, I mean, it's it could
• 1:38:01
  Speaker 1: be that dying together is a value. You know, committing
• 1:38:06
  Speaker 1: suicide together at some point, at some age might be appropriate.
• 1:38:11
  Speaker 1: But that depends. It could be the one of the
• 1:38:13
  Speaker 1: couple is physically declining faster than the other, and the
• 1:38:17
  Speaker 1: one that's not declining fast wants to stick around. There's
• 1:38:22
  Speaker 1: no way around it. You have to. You have to
• 1:38:25
  Speaker 1: prepare for it, think about it, prepare for it, talk
• 1:38:28
  Speaker 1: about it, and uh, and then just live it and
• 1:38:31
  Speaker 1: do the best that you can with it. And it
• 1:38:33
  Speaker 1: might turn out that if you survive your spouse, you
• 1:38:37
  Speaker 1: might decide it's not you know, you might decide, inspite
• 1:38:40
  Speaker 1: the fact that you're doing okay physically, it's not worth living.
• 1:38:43
  Speaker 1: All these reasons of why making suicide easier is something
• 1:38:49
  Speaker 1: we should encourage. And the fact that the state is
• 1:38:52
  Speaker 1: consciously making suicide hard is horriable is horrible. Shasbot. All
• 1:39:03
  Speaker 1: four of the sentences from that quote were sung were
• 1:39:07
  Speaker 1: song titles. Oh they're all song titles. Cool that quote
• 1:39:12
  Speaker 1: you had before, whereas it, uh, whis love is like oxygen.
• 1:39:17
  Speaker 1: It's a song title. Love is a many splendid thing
• 1:39:20
  Speaker 1: that I know. Love lifts up where we belong and
• 1:39:24
  Speaker 1: then all you need is love. So I know two
• 1:39:26
  Speaker 1: of the titles of the full Linda says, we love
• 1:39:30
  Speaker 1: mister Sunshine, Thank you. I'm glad you loved it, one
• 1:39:32
  Speaker 1: of my favorite all times. Real Spooks says, I know
• 1:39:36
  Speaker 1: you play Bridge, but what about wrist which is more English?
• 1:39:42
  Speaker 1: Do you like card game movies like Rounders, Cincinnati Kid
• 1:39:47
  Speaker 1: and His Thing? So I don't know whist. I've never
• 1:39:51
  Speaker 1: played it. I don't play Bridge anymore either. I like Bridge.
• 1:39:55
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's the one game I was exposed to
• 1:39:57
  Speaker 1: and I really liked. I'm not particularly drawn to card games,
• 1:40:00
  Speaker 1: so I don't I like card games. I like I
• 1:40:05
  Speaker 1: like this thing. I can't remember round Us, though I
• 1:40:08
  Speaker 1: think I saw it. So I like this thing. I
• 1:40:11
  Speaker 1: like the drama that poker creates, that card games can create.
• 1:40:17
  Speaker 1: So yeah, I do like them, but I don't know
• 1:40:21
  Speaker 1: any other card games. I know poker and bridge, and
• 1:40:25
  Speaker 1: I play more poker these days than bridge. I played
• 1:40:29
  Speaker 1: Baby twice a year and it's fun, reals, Fox says,
• 1:40:34
  Speaker 1: But yeah, so says, well one will go first. Yes,
• 1:40:38
  Speaker 1: that's just that's a reality. You have to understand and
• 1:40:41
  Speaker 1: you have to accept and you have to think about
• 1:40:44
  Speaker 1: and you have to talk about. And that's all you
• 1:40:46
  Speaker 1: can do. That's all you can do. Uh tcr oh,
• 1:40:53
  Speaker 1: Hey you on? Are you still planning doing a class
• 1:40:55
  Speaker 1: on OPAH? If so, where can I get for the details?
• 1:41:00
  Speaker 1: But I just don't know right now. Like I'm doing
• 1:41:04
  Speaker 1: so many shows and OPAH would require real prep. I'm
• 1:41:11
  Speaker 1: still struggling with when would I do it? When do
• 1:41:13
  Speaker 1: I have time to do it right and not killing
• 1:41:16
  Speaker 1: myself doing it? So I'm still thinking about it. I
• 1:41:22
  Speaker 1: haven't ruled it out, but I'm still trying to figure
• 1:41:26
  Speaker 1: it out when exactly and how exactly. Hopefully, if I
• 1:41:31
  Speaker 1: do it, it'll be probably, you know, heading into March,
• 1:41:37
  Speaker 1: you know, probably late March is when I would start.
• 1:41:40
  Speaker 1: But I'm really trying to figure out is this even
• 1:41:43
  Speaker 1: doable given my schedule? And I don't want to charge
• 1:41:46
  Speaker 1: you money and then I'll live up to my commitment.
• 1:41:49
  Speaker 1: So I want to make sure that it's doable before
• 1:41:52
  Speaker 1: I commit. But thinking about it, so I apologize taking
• 1:41:57
  Speaker 1: longer than I thought. Gabriel, your love, your love of
• 1:42:03
  Speaker 1: truth is rare. You call out bad ideas even when popular.
• 1:42:07
  Speaker 1: We need more of that in PA, people of that everywhere.
• 1:42:12
  Speaker 1: What course would you be most excited to teach next?
• 1:42:18
  Speaker 1: P A? P A meaning is that I'm not sure
• 1:42:24
  Speaker 1: what PA means? Is PA Peterson Academy? You know, I
• 1:42:34
  Speaker 1: don't know. There's a lot of classes. I mean, I'd
• 1:42:36
  Speaker 1: love to teach a course in nine rand. I'm just
• 1:42:39
  Speaker 1: saying Peterson Academy because he brings up courses. I don't
• 1:42:42
  Speaker 1: know who else I'm teaching courses for, says Gabiel Gabil.
• 1:42:45
  Speaker 1: Are you from P Yes, he's asking about Peterson any
• 1:42:47
  Speaker 1: you connected with them? Or are you just a student there?
• 1:42:50
  Speaker 1: I thought it was Pennsylvania, but he says he's confirmed
• 1:42:54
  Speaker 1: it's Peterson Academy. Are you just a student there? Uh?
• 1:42:59
  Speaker 1: I'd love to teach a course nine rand. I would
• 1:43:07
  Speaker 1: I'd love to teach more courses on kind of the
• 1:43:11
  Speaker 1: history of capitalism and the history of regulation, and like
• 1:43:16
  Speaker 1: the history of regulation and how capitalism, how firms get
• 1:43:20
  Speaker 1: around regulations and succeed in spite of regulations. You know,
• 1:43:24
  Speaker 1: I'd love to teach a course on selfishness, but I
• 1:43:26
  Speaker 1: don't think they'd want that. What else would I want
• 1:43:30
  Speaker 1: to teach? And I've suggested courses on the Middle East,
• 1:43:34
  Speaker 1: the history of the Middle East, the history of the Reel,
• 1:43:37
  Speaker 1: the Palestinian Conflict, the history of Islamism as an ideology.
• 1:43:43
  Speaker 1: I've got a whole list that provided them. But I
• 1:43:45
  Speaker 1: don't know if they want me to teach more, and
• 1:43:48
  Speaker 1: I don't know what they'd want me to teach more.
• 1:43:51
  Speaker 1: It's up to them. I haven't heard from them in
• 1:43:53
  Speaker 1: a while, so I just don't know. Hopefully, hopefully we'll
• 1:43:57
  Speaker 1: teach more courses in PA. I'm curious how many courses
• 1:43:59
  Speaker 1: of mind if you listen to I've done five for PA.
• 1:44:04
  Speaker 1: I'm excited about them. Jennifer says, doesn't love necessitate more
• 1:44:09
  Speaker 1: knowledge than can be gleaned from first sight? I think, ultimately, yes,
• 1:44:15
  Speaker 1: I think you can fall in love with somebody in
• 1:44:18
  Speaker 1: first sight. Maybe, But two be willing to for it
• 1:44:26
  Speaker 1: to really be romantic love, and for you to be
• 1:44:29
  Speaker 1: willing willing to in a sense man the rest of
• 1:44:34
  Speaker 1: your life with that person and and marry that person
• 1:44:39
  Speaker 1: or be with that person for a lengthy period of time.
• 1:44:43
  Speaker 1: There has to be more than what you can glean
• 1:44:45
  Speaker 1: in the first sight, and so first sight is hugely risky.
• 1:44:49
  Speaker 1: You're probably gonna fall out of love. Is a likely
• 1:44:52
  Speaker 1: you fall out of love with them as you discover
• 1:44:54
  Speaker 1: more about them. It's possible that you'll be in love
• 1:44:58
  Speaker 1: with them for a while, but then over time discover
• 1:45:01
  Speaker 1: more and then decide it's not a long term relationship.
• 1:45:06
  Speaker 1: So it's risky. It's it's the only gleaning of sudden
• 1:45:10
  Speaker 1: something and that might be enough, and it might turn
• 1:45:13
  Speaker 1: out that that's absolutely right and it's consistent, or might not,
• 1:45:16
  Speaker 1: might not be. Linda loved playing poker with you in
• 1:45:21
  Speaker 1: Boston at Okon. Yeah. I mean Linda did really well
• 1:45:23
  Speaker 1: And for somebody who says she doesn't play much PoCA,
• 1:45:27
  Speaker 1: she did really really well. Uh chasbad. They addressed the
• 1:45:33
  Speaker 1: one will go first issue in that episode of the
• 1:45:37
  Speaker 1: Last of Us with Bill and Frank. Yes, he kills
• 1:45:45
  Speaker 1: himself right. I think he kills himself now. Of course
• 1:45:50
  Speaker 1: they're living in a world that's pretty horrible, so yeah,
• 1:45:55
  Speaker 1: they did address it. He can he commits uh, he
• 1:45:58
  Speaker 1: commits suicide at the end when when it's obvious his
• 1:46:02
  Speaker 1: partner is going, is done, is dying. So it was
• 1:46:06
  Speaker 1: very powerful. That was maybe the best episode of the
• 1:46:14
  Speaker 1: what was the series called the Last of Us? The
• 1:46:17
  Speaker 1: Last of Us? Yeah, that was good. All right, guys,
• 1:46:23
  Speaker 1: thank you really appreciate the support. Thank you, thank you.
• 1:46:26
  Speaker 1: Thank you in particular thank you to Troy for the
• 1:46:30
  Speaker 1: five hundred Australian and thank you to Frank for the
• 1:46:33
  Speaker 1: fifty dollars question, and thank you to Wes for one
• 1:46:36
  Speaker 1: hundred dollars sticker. Thank you, but thank you to all
• 1:46:39
  Speaker 1: the super chatters and the stick of people. And I
• 1:46:42
  Speaker 1: will see you tomorrow. Will be a show, and I'll
• 1:46:45
  Speaker 1: do some reviews tomorrow. I need to get organized around that,
• 1:46:48
  Speaker 1: but I'll try to do some reviews tomorrow in addition
• 1:46:50
  Speaker 1: to coming up with the topic. Maybe not as positive
• 1:46:54
  Speaker 1: and as nice as this one, but we'll come up
• 1:46:58
  Speaker 1: with something and talk. We'll talk tomorrow, so maybe same time,
• 1:47:03
  Speaker 1: maybe an hour earlier, but something around there passes why marry?
• 1:47:08
  Speaker 1: Why not just live in love? You know, it's just
• 1:47:12
  Speaker 1: that marriage provides you with the standardized contract that makes
• 1:47:19
  Speaker 1: I guess, divorce easier, and it makes more predictable, and
• 1:47:23
  Speaker 1: it makes having children easier, it makes getting a mortgage
• 1:47:30
  Speaker 1: together easier. It's just a it's a it's it simplifies
• 1:47:35
  Speaker 1: life and emotionally, it is a it is a statement
• 1:47:41
  Speaker 1: of we intend to spend the rest of our life together.
• 1:47:45
  Speaker 1: We tend to spend a big chunk of the rest
• 1:47:47
  Speaker 1: of our life together, whatever however you want to see it.
• 1:47:49
  Speaker 1: But but this is long term. We're committed to the
• 1:47:52
  Speaker 1: long term. So it's a way of celebrating that, and
• 1:47:56
  Speaker 1: marriages should be a celebration. It's it's a contractual agreement
• 1:48:01
  Speaker 1: that signifies a deep romantic love and a commitment to
• 1:48:06
  Speaker 1: the long term. And it could be fun to make
• 1:48:10
  Speaker 1: that commitment. It could be important to make that commitment
• 1:48:12
  Speaker 1: to solidify the relationship. But there's nothing wrong with living
• 1:48:21
  Speaker 1: in living in love. There's nothing wrong with them, all right, guys,
• 1:48:26
  Speaker 1: thank you, particularly if you particularly, I just say, if
• 1:48:29
  Speaker 1: you don't have kids, then then it's then kids complicate things.
• 1:48:33
  Speaker 1: So thank you. I'll see you tomorrow and of course
• 1:48:38
  Speaker 1: all the next week. Bye everybody,