Latest / The Inner Wealth Podcast / Ep168. Mastering Your Emotions for a Higher Quality of Life.

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Ep168. Mastering Your Emotions for a Higher Quality of Life. · The Inner Wealth Podcast

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Do you ever wake up feeling like there's something missing in your life?
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Do you ever feel the need to escape your business?
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Are you running your life or is your life running you?
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: I'm Mike Kitko and I'll help you design and create a life so authentic and aligned with who you really are that you'll get excited just to wake up.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: I'll help you create real wealth, success and freedom from the inside out.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Inner Wealth Podcast, where we learn and choose to live inspired each and every day.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: There's a pretty common phrase in the personal development space, especially with the bro crowd, and I mean the hustle horrors, the grind gurus.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: You know the bros, angie and I.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: When you go to you can go to a personal development session and you'll sometimes you'll see these big, tatted, muscled up guys and you know they're big and they're gnarly and you know they're bro coaches, they're broaches, and there's a hustle culture that loves the bro coaches and I am not one of them.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: I am not one of the ones that loves those guys in terms of what they teach and loves what they're teaching people, and I don't exactly love the style and the messaging and the languaging that they use.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: The style and the messaging and the languaging that they use, and there's one specific phrase that they use that does a lot of harm to people.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: And if you want a really, really good quality of life, if you want to live an exceptional quality of life inside and out, don't do this thing and out Don't do this thing.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: But the phrase that you'll hear them say often is fuck your feelings.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: Now, that's not a very wise statement, it's not a very wise suggestion and it's not a very wise set of guidance.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: Now, I think what the intended message is that when they say fuck your feelings, I think what the intended message is is your emotions and your feelings are lying to you, and I would have to say that that's true, that's absolutely true.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: But if you really do want a high quality of life, you don't ignore your feelings, you don't suppress your feelings, you don't hold on to your feelings, you don't repress them, you don't look to escape them, you don't turn your eye and attention away from them.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: You develop a deeper, more meaningful, more valuable relationship with your emotions and with your feelings because they're telling you something.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: Your emotions and your feelings, your emotional state, is telling you a story, and it's very critical that you dive deeper into your emotions instead of trying to ignore them or make them go away or fuck your feelings right Now.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: I understand the intention, but I choose to help people actually feel good about themselves and feel good about their life and feel good on the inside.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: That's why our business is called the Inner Wealth Global and that's why our podcast is the Inner Wealth Podcast and that's why our mastermind, the inner wealth podcast, and that's why our, our, our mastermind is the inner wealth mastermind and that's why the, the public Facebook group that I have is is that the inner wealth Academy.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: It's all themed after and it's all guiding you to to feeling a greater sense of fulfillment and freedom inside of you, to feel wealthy inside, to feel successful inside, to feel loved and loving and lovable inside.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: And when we do these things, we move more fluidly, we move more naturally, we move more effortlessly through the world and through our life.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: We navigate circumstances and we navigate challenges and obstacles easier, and we don't have to avoid things and we don't have to have things.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: We can learn how to feel wealthy and how to feel successful and how to feel successful and how to feel free and how to feel fulfilled, regardless of the circumstances in our life and what we feel In this episode.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: I know I've done a lot of episodes about mindset and the thought processes and belief systems, but I just want to focus this episode on emotional mastery.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: And if you are to become a master of your emotions, you must not ignore your emotions and you must learn to unlock and tap into what your emotions are telling you.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: Now, for 43 years and I wrote a book called the imposter in charge.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: I'm holding it up right now if you're watching this on video but for 43 years I felt a deep, deep sense of shame and a deep sensation and feelings that I was broken and I was worthless and that I wasn't valuable and that I didn't matter.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: I was insignificant.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: I was scared of everything.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: I was scared of losing my wife and my family.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: I was scared of losing my job.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: I was scared of losing my money.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: I lived from a deep, deep place of insecurity, inadequacy, insignificance, the three voices, the three inner voices that put you immediately in survival mode.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: But I lived in those deep states for many, many years, decades, 43 years, until I started to understand that these inner states, this inner world that I had, what would happen is I'd feel these things and they would put me into action, or I'd feel a sense of fear and I would drink, or I would feel a sense of worthlessness.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: So I would basically compromise who I was.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: I lied to employers and I lied to people and I manipulated people and these feelings inside of me, the insecurity, the inadequacy and insignificance, it made me not a very nice human being and I did egregious things and I said egregious things and I hurt a lot of people because I was so freaking, utterly scared and I felt so emotionally.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: World better than I found it, the world was actually because of my existence and because of who I was.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: I actually caused a lot of pain in myself and in the lives of others because of the emotions and the feelings that I felt and I couldn't ignore them and I couldn't avoid them for any sustained period of time and, as the bros would tell you, fuck your feelings.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: That was impossible when these emotions and when these stories and these beliefs would creep in that I was a broken human being, that I was flawed, that there was something wrong with me, that I needed to be fixed, that I wasn't okay, that I wasn't worthy.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: When these feelings came up and my inner state, my inner world turned to pain.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: I couldn't do enough outside to rid myself of the pain, to rid myself of the stress and to rid myself of the suffering.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: And every single avoidance technique that I tried, it lasted for maybe a short period of time.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: You know you have sex and you don't feel that for a short period of time and then after that you know it comes right back, because if you're using sex as an emotional avoidance tool, typically after the sexual encounter it comes back even stronger.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: The same thing with alcohol.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: The same thing with gambling.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: The same thing with work, overworking yourself.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: The same thing whatever you use as a coping mechanism to try to avoid or suppress or repress your emotions, feelings, when you get on the other side of that thing, those emotions are just going to come back in a more powerful way and you're going to stay in this cycle, this addicted cycle, addictive cycle of needing to push away, avoid, ignore, escape your emotions and feelings, and no amount of coping mechanism is going to give you a sustained quality of life.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: Now, it wasn't until in 2016 when I started my transformational journey.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: It wasn't until 2016 that I actually started looking into my emotions and looking into my body and feeling my feelings and sitting with my feelings and learning what was happening in my body.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: That was that kept me on the run, that kept me moving from experience to experience, choice to choice, painful outcome to painful outcome.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: It wasn't until I started to understand and feel what was happening in my mind and my body that I could start to really unravel all that torture and all the pain and all the conflict and all the agony that was inside of me that I was constantly trying to escape, and I just wanted more money, more success, more sex, more everything, and all they were were coping mechanisms to make emotions and feelings go away that they couldn't, and I chose to go inward, inside of my mind and inside of my body, to understand what was in there and to understand what the hell was happening and why it was happening.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: Emotions are records of the past.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: Emotions are not indicators of the future.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: Emotions are records of the past, especially the painful ones.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: When you feel a sense of guilt, when you feel a sense of shame, it's telling you a story about something that happened in the past that you haven't let go of, that you haven't outran.
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: That experience, that belief, that thought is still inside your subconscious.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: It's still inside your operating system, your DNA.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: That experience is still in there and it's still rattling around.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: And that's why this emotion is present in your body, because thoughts create emotion, thoughts create feelings.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: And your emotion is pointing to a story and a belief that's inside of your makeup, your operating system, that you just haven't released yet, that you just haven't let go of, that you haven't rearranged, that you haven't dissolved or resolved to dive into the emotion, to understand what that emotion, what story it's pointing to and why it's pointing, why it's holding on to that story, why you're holding on to that story.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: The greatest thing that you can learn how to do, if you truly want to master your life, if you truly want to become a master of your circumstances, if you truly want to elevate your quality of life and your overall emotional consciousness and your state of your circumstances, if you truly want to elevate your quality of life and your overall emotional consciousness and your state of your internal state of consciousness, you must learn how to feel every feeling and every emotion and understand how to come, become courageous in feeling those emotions.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: And courage isn't the absence Emotional courage isn't the absence of fear, it's not the absence of shame, it's not the absence of guilt, it's the ability and the willingness for you to feel any and all emotions and to learn how to become the master of your emotions and your inner emotional state.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: And the only way to master your inner domain is to be able to fully feel everything.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: When someone won't allow themselves to feel they are basically a robot, they are not a human, they're not operating as a human being, they're operating as a robot and life.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: They just move from thought to thought, idea to idea, and they don't enjoy and savor what it's like to be a human being, the possible fulfillment and freedom, because likely, if you want to allow yourself to dive in and feel your shame, and feel your guilt and feel your fear and feel your anger and feel your grief, if you want to allow yourself to feel these, you're probably not allowing yourself to feel happiness and freedom and fulfillment either.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: And I know that this wouldn't have made sense to me before I started this journey that if you won't allow yourself to feel lower level emotions, you're not allowing yourself to feel longer, higher level emotions either.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: And emotional courage isn't the absence of fear, it's the presence of fear, but it's our willingness and ability to dive in and dive into it and get get really intimate with that fear, to understand what story is inside our mind and our body that's looking to be resolved, dissolved and let go Instead of escaped.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: I've done episodes on the art and the process of letting go and what we do when we're triggered, when we have this emotion in our body and our body's consumed with an emotion let's say it is anger or grief or guilt or shame or fear.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: When we dive into that emotion and we start to do some inquiry, what is this telling me?
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: What story am I holding on to?
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: Why am I scared?
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: Why do I feel broken?
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: Why do I feel like there's something wrong?
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: Why am I holding this level of grief about something in my life?
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: Why am I angry about this?
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: What's the story?
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: What's the underlying story of this?
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: This, what's the story?
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: What's the underlying story of this?
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: As we feel this emotion and we do inquiry about what am I feeling and why am I feeling it, what event, what experience, what human being conditioned me, programmed me to feel this thing about, whatever circumstance and whatever outcome, whatever thing triggered you, and when we set in that emotion and when we do that inquiry, we get to at some conclusive point where you see, you start to make sense of, of this, this story and belief, maybe you start the process of letting go of the emotion and when you let go of the emotion, you begin to dissolve and resolve that story and that belief.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: That's that's been in your, your operating system and in your DNA, and it's been, it's been triggering you or causing you to live from this thing, regardless of if you felt it or not.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: You were living to avoid it If it was, if it was painful and it was causing you to make, conscious and unconscious decisions based on that emotion, based on that story, based on that belief.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: And you're, you've developed a life around that, that story and belief and that emotion, instead of of living a life that's the most powerful and true for you.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: And over time, as you get more and more comfortable sitting in the emotion, feeling the emotion, feeling the feelings, getting really courageous to allow whatever and all emotions to come up and feel them, and you learn, you become a mastery, a master of inquiry.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: Why am I feeling this?
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: What caused this?
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: What triggered this?
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: What created this program in me, this conditioned response, and am I willing to let it go?
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: There's a book called the Sedona Method, and three basic questions Can I let this go?
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: And the answer is always yes, will I let this go?
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: And this is a choice that you get to make and when will I let it?
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: If the answer is yes, then when will I let it go?
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: And and when you ask yourself these three questions, and when you ask yourself these three questions, and if you, can I let it go?
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: Yes, will I let it go.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: Yes, when, if you say now, it literally, this emotion literally starts to release from your body, release from your human form, and you no longer have to live with that emotion, with that energy, with that pain, with that trauma, with that layer of suffering in your body and in your mind anymore.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: I want you to consider this If you take an orange and you stab an orange with a knife and you pull out the knife, what happens to the juice?
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: The juice starts running out of the orange.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: And when I'm, when I'm in a live setting with folks, I say did the knife create the juice?
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: And they answer no.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: What did the knife do?
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: The knife revealed the juice that was already in there.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: And that's exactly what emotion is, the emotions in there, the worldly event, the worldly experience that, whatever, if maybe somebody said something to you and you got angry, maybe your bank account went down and you started feeling money fear, maybe you got fired and now you feel hopeless and you feel lost, those events didn't cause those feelings.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: Those events revealed those emotions.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: Those events revealed those emotions and by diving into them, learning to set with them, learning to dive deeper in them and explore them and inquire about them, why do I feel this?
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: What am I feeling?
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: What conditioned me to feel this way?
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: What event, experience, person caused this feeling, this emotion, this story, this belief to remain in my body and in my mind?
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: And when you do that inquiry and then you say can I let this go?
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: Will I let this go?
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: And if you say when you can let it go now, it literally starts to release from your.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: You will literally feel it start to release from your body.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: And as the emotion releases the mental signature, as the emotional signature releases, the mental signature changes workshop in New Orleans and literally I was taking I do this work, live with people in my retreats and in my intensives, my live experiences, and I literally was walking someone through some inquiry and I got them to feel some emotion.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: I invited them to feel some emotion, got them into a place of feeling that emotion and I started working them through some release work.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: Can you let that go?
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: And she said yes.
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: I said, will you let it go?
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: And she said no.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: And if you don't want to let the emotion go that you're feeling, you don't have to.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: But if you're ready for another level of freedom and fulfillment, it's imperative that you feel the emotion, you inquire about what caused it and created it and the story and belief.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: It's imperative that you feel the emotion, you inquire about what caused it and created it and the story and belief underlying it, and then you let it go.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: You can let it go.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: The question is will you?
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: And if you will, when?
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: And this is the work to create freedom in your body where you will no longer need to avoid circumstances.
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: You will no longer need to avoid feeling emotions, you will no longer be obligated and have say yes to things that you want to say no to and say no to things you want to say yes to.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: You will no longer have to compromise yourself in this world.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: You can just show up over time as you do this work.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: You can show up, be authentic and not be triggered by the world, because the emotions in you will begin to diffuse.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: And when you're, when you defuse the emotions that are in your body right now, locked in there, and you defuse the stories and the beliefs, then you become untriggerable in this world over time.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: But it requires work, it requires patience, it requires persistence and resilience to become even more emotionally courageous with each passing day of your life, even more emotionally courageous with each passing day of your life.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: If you do this work, you can bounce from raw emotion to raw emotion and see that they are markers and they are a guidebook to how to grow and how to personally evolve and how to elevate your level of consciousness.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: They're not emotions.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: Even the lower level emotions aren't something to avoid.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: There's something to thank and be grateful for, because they allow you to become more free and more fulfilled.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: They allow you to become more of the spiritual powerhouse essence that you are and that you were born into.
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: That life conditioned you away from through painful experiences, painful events and people who are in pain that passed some of their pain onto you.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: And as you bounce from these emotions and you learn to dive in and inquire about them and release them, you become more free.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: And as you become more free, you'll feel a greater sense of your divinity and you'll begin the process of merging with God.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: And it's a beautiful, beautiful process.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: But to bring it back full circle, but to do this, you can't walk around this world thinking about fuck your feelings.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: No, your feelings are valuable, they're real, they're markers of the past waiting to be released so that you can step into emotional mastery and not need to avoid or attach to any circumstance.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: Do this work.
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: Grab the book the Sedona Method Letting Go by Dr David Hawkins.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: These books are insightful and utter freedom and give you the ability to be yourself.
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: I promise you that you will thank this version of yourself.
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: Your future version will thank this version for making that choice, because you will begin to experience bliss that most people believe is impossible.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: If you enjoyed what you heard and you want to learn more, go to wwwinnerwealthglobalcom for more tools and resources.