Latest / BTG For President / Fits the description

Transcript

Fits the description · BTG For President

• 0:04
  Somebody need to do a song for LA.
• 0:13
  Hello, my name is Elaine, and I'll be your tour guide through south Central Los Angeles. Look, count my nose, smoker. I'm from California. Where you from? So what? I'm from California. California, California, California. This is Los Angeles. Where are we going?
• 0:32
  Notes. And I wrote them down because it's time to. It fits the description you ever got. Have y'all ever been pulled over and hey, y'all. I mean, you fit the description. You know what I'm saying? You ever look at somebody and you judge them? You like that? They look like. They look like they act like this? Do you judge people by their names? I do.
• 0:56
  I do it all the time. I'm not about to take all the credit for this episode, though. Hell no. King Jerm hit me up because he said that I missed a couple of blackest of the blacklist names in the first.
• 1:10
  In the first round. And I was like, man, everybody can't go in the first round. You can't have 30 n go in the first round.
• 1:19
  But technically you can't. If this is football.
• 1:23
  But this not, though. This like hall of Fame. You gotta get like five, six people in at a time. You know what I'm saying? It's a lot of black names, Gerald.
• 1:34
  But he sent the list of names. These are all king Germ names. Now, I don't know if all. I don't know if he considered all the leads blacker or the blacker of names, but nonetheless, we gon go through them. So this is similar to, you know what I'm saying, off one of my previous episodes or whatever, about the blackest names. But this is just judging. I'm just judging these names and telling you who these people are by this name. But these are the names that he came up with, though. Start text messages, start ringing in. And the first one is Bernard.
• 2:14
  Bernard.
• 2:16
  Bernard. Bernard. Bernard. Bernard. Bernard is like, Bernard is the third. That's the third uncle. That's the third uncle on your grandmama side. Yeah. And he be sneaky. He be sneaking his girlfriend in. In his mama house.
• 2:34
  That's it. Bernard is definitely an uncle, too. You know what I'm saying? His girlfriend named Shirley. Shirley. Bernard and Shirley. We gonna get to that. We gonna get to that. Cause Shirley, she be sneaking Shirley in. You know what I'm saying? Shirley. Yeah, Shirley is Shirley who we got after that.
• 2:53
  After Bernard. We got Roy. So Roy is like, roy, Roy, Roy. Roy is like the third member of anything, whether it's a group. Like, if you're on a football team, like Roy Patterson, you know what I'm saying? Some shit like that. Like, Roy is like a filler name.
• 3:17
  Roy is like a.
• 3:20
  The niggas like an extra, you know what I'm saying? Like, if a nigga can't show up, we got a Roy right here, you know? And then, like, I think eventually they start making Roy's.
• 3:34
  Yeah, Roy's. I think Roy, when the Roy's go out, Roy's had to go out like 95, maybe 97. But the Roy started to it ain't that mean we got to look up how many Roy's is left.
• 3:48
  Yeah. Shout out to the Roy's, man. I see y'all. Let's see what's in that Willie now. Here we go.
• 3:56
  Willie.
• 3:58
  That's. That's probably the blackest street biblical name of all time. Like, Willie is an all all slavery team defense. You know what I'm saying? Like, Willie for some reason, like. Cause there's different stages of Willie. Yeah. And there are no. There's different marvel universes of willys, you know what I'm saying? Cause in this universe, this nigga got stolen tools from a hardware store. And I know, but that nigga know how to fix everything. And that's the cigarette that don't fall, you know, out the corner of his mouth, Willy. You know what I'm saying? Then you got, in this universe, you got like the younger Willie, like Willie Beamon, you know what I'm saying? You seen that swag? You got that type of Willie, you know what I'm saying? It feel like Willy.
• 4:55
  It feel like Willie. Like extra greens on his plate.
• 4:59
  That's what Willie to me. That's what Willie is. You know what I'm saying?
• 5:08
  See, here's an interesting one. He put Barbara to me. That's half breed right there. That's a half breed name right there. Like.
• 5:19
  Cause to me, Barbecue Barbara could be racist or she could be the deacon. She could be the deacon's wife, Sister Barbara, for sure. You know what I'm saying? Now, my grandmother name is Barbran. You know what I'm saying? That's Barbran. Now we talking. You know what I'm saying? That's definitely. That's Barbran is definitely from Texas somewhere, you know what I'm saying?
• 5:47
  Oh, Dolores. Dolores is the fine auntie.
• 5:51
  Every there's Dolores is the fine auntie.
• 5:57
  Yeah, that's the fine auntie.
• 6:01
  The fine one. You know what I'm talking about? Two two seven hanging out the window. Auntie.
• 6:08
  She always going to the parties.
• 6:11
  Always going to the parties.
• 6:14
  All those little players. All those little players parties that they be throwing.
• 6:20
  Those little player parties that they be throwing. Yeah, she had all of them. And she was bad, super bad in high school. Dolores.
• 6:29
  Yeah, Dolores Jenkins, for sure. She was bad in the eighties. Bamboo earrings. She was cold in the eighties. She had that hair and the red lipstick, red pumps, bamboo seat. You know the picture I'm talking about. Fine. Auntie Dolores. Yep. Curling. Let's slow it down. Now, curling is strictly southern, okay?
• 6:59
  Curling got dieted diabetes, and she got peppermints in her purse.
• 7:05
  She eastern star. No, that's. That's Carolyn.
• 7:09
  Look, it's either Carolyn or Carolyn. Hear me again. Is either Carolyn or Carolyn.
• 7:17
  Yeah.
• 7:19
  Yeah.
• 7:21
  Mm hmm. Breath always smell like peppermint.
• 7:25
  And she don't want to bring. Order over the string beans with the. With the sausage cut up in ithemenous.
• 7:32
  She bring it. She's bringing the stream. Curling. Curling is bringing the string beans.
• 7:37
  Nathaniel, call your auntie. Call your Auntie Carolyn, and tell her. Make sure she don't forget the green beans.
• 7:46
  That's Carolyn.
• 7:48
  That's curling.
• 7:51
  I don't know what you want me to say, King Jaron. I'm doing the best that I can right now because the next name is Shirley. We just finished talking about Shirley not too long ago with Bernardin. Remember I told you Shirley was getting stuck in a house because Shirley is a side chick.
• 8:05
  Bernard, you listen to me, okay? Bernard. Bernard is married to Pamela, okay? But he messed with Shirley on the side. Shirley.
• 8:19
  Shirley.
• 8:21
  Yeah, surely is their freaky co worker, freaky coworker. And she got money, though.
• 8:29
  She be tricking it out. Shirley go to bingo.
• 8:32
  For sure she does.
• 8:35
  Yeah. Yes, she does. That's Shirley. That's Shirley. What we got next? Wilkerson?
• 8:43
  That's a curveball, right? Cause Wilkerson is like a family name. Like a family traditional name. Wilkerson sound like a barbecue sauce, you know, saying, like, it's family recipe. Wilkerson. Wilkerson is the old nick. Oh, it's a black nigger, black cowboy on the bar, on a barbecue bottle. That's what Wilkerson is. It's either that.
• 9:07
  It's either that or like a brand of something, like a whiskey or something like that. Some shit is some wild turkey type shit. Wilkerson's. That's that shit. Sound like it burn your chest.
• 9:18
  That shit sounds nasty, brother. That's just how soon as you pour a glass and you. And you got some ice on it to bruise it a little ice. Start ice, catch on fire.
• 9:31
  Fox News eleven, man.
• 9:35
  Cause of death? Wilkerson's choked on some wilkersons. Yeah, and it's. And it's black liquor for sure. It's not white. It's definitely black. And it's one of those when you smell it. Oh, my God. You know that? You know the face you. Wilkerson's.
• 9:51
  That's Wilkerson's. You gonna. You got. Who gonna take a shot of. We got two shots of Wilkerson's over here. You're gonna die stupid.
• 10:00
  Wilkerson's, that shit.
• 10:06
  I gotta. Hey, I got a gallon of Wilkerson's overdem. Fuck you got that for? Who's Joe who? Going through something.
• 10:17
  It's the next name Caldwell. See, he tried to get me with the Caldwell because Caldwell. Caldwell to me is just like Barbara. You know what I'm saying? It could be on both sides of it. It could be. It could be two different complexions. That's all I'm saying. But if we sticking with the black Caldwell, he got a gambling problem. Caldwell got a gambling problem. We know his marriage problems. He got a gambling problem. But he got a union job, though.
• 10:43
  Yeah, class clown of. He was a class clown of 88.
• 10:48
  He got a union job. Like, he got a cool job, but shaky marriage, gambling addiction. You know what I'm saying? This nigga always trying to throw in some parlays and shit like that. You know, the prize pick. You know he owned the prize. You know he the old nigga on the prize picked, you know what I mean?
• 11:04
  Yeah, he the nigga that.
• 11:08
  He think he keeping up with the young niggas by getting all the jays and shit like that. And he be wearing them with, like, velour sweatsuits. That's Caldwell.
• 11:17
  That's Caldwell.
• 11:20
  He got a union job, though. King Jaron. He got a union job. That's Caldwell.
• 11:25
  Julius. No, let me. I like Julius.
• 11:29
  Let me tell you what Julius is for y'all. Niggas out there that just don't know Julius is what Jalen or what Jaden is to this era when niggas. You know when Jalen Rose. Remember Jalen Rose is the originator of his mama. Shout out to Mama Rose, who gave him the name Jalen, right? And they took off. That was the hybrid. That was it right there, nigga. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's Jalen's everywhere. You know what I'm saying? A lot of Jalen's are mixed. Let's not. Let's not. Let's not be. Let's not front about that. A lot of Jalen's are mixed, okay? It doesn't matter. Look, but that's what. That's what Julius was back then. Like, all they know is Julie Julia, Julius, look, outside of the basketball player, Julius has a strong chance of being a successful pimp.
• 12:22
  You gotta understand Julius. Nigga, Julius, that's like goddess and Jesus are jewels put together.
• 12:36
  I don't know if that makes sense, but you understand what I'm saying? Like, Julius just.
• 12:44
  Julius is what you call it. Um, Jackie. Jackie Jackson. That's who Julius is. That's what. If Julius was a member of a successful band, he would be from the Jackson Five. He would be Jackie Jackson.
• 13:05
  You know what I'm saying? Like, Julius haddle Julius.
• 13:11
  Yeah. And he still show up. He gonna show up to the class reunion smooth like the nigga on some. On some awesome. What you call a type of status, like Morris Chestnut type status. You know I'm saying? But old nigga, though. You know what I'm saying? Old nigga. This class of, you know I'm saying the nigga. Yeah. Y'all know Julius is. Watch out, nigga, watch out. Julius took one of y'alls to. Y'all want to talk about. Let's talk about Calvin. Can we all agree, like, the black delegation, can we just. I'm gonna send this into.
• 13:54
  To the black, you know, union.
• 13:58
  Calvin is. Calvin has to go down in black history as a universal cousin name.
• 14:05
  You know what I'm saying? Like, of course Calvin's got some siblings, but Calvin's is place show a cousin.
• 14:12
  Say every. There's more. Calvin is Calvin. Gotta be top three cousins of all time.
• 14:18
  Gotta be Calvin.
• 14:21
  And he got a sega genesis.
• 14:24
  Yeah, and he got every penny hardaway. He got every. Every penny hardaway shoe that came out. He got when he was a kid.
• 14:32
  Yeah, and he had the gumby cut. He had the gumby cut. That was Calvin. That was Calvin with. That was Calvin with the.
• 14:40
  That was Calvin with the Charlotte Hornets windbreaker.
• 14:44
  That's Calvin. That's the Calvin I'm talking about. That's the. That's the Calvin, my nigga, who gave you extra fries at Mickey D's when y'all pulled up it, cuz, you knew where Calvin was working at, nigga, you knew where Calvin was working at.
• 14:58
  That's what I'm saying. Oh, let's go on. Let's go. Today a Calvin. Shout out to Calvin, my nigga. You a. You Calvin, you one of my favorite cousins. You are a top three cousin of all time, my nigga. Calvin. Anything a name, Calvin, just know you're a top three cousin of all time, nigga. Black delegation. We've already betted on it overnight. Fedex, same day. Let's get to the next Bettye. I feel like she's the sole inventor of the bundt cake. You know what I'm saying? Like, Betty watches murder. She wrote, like, how we watch snowfall. You know what I'm saying? Betty. And Betty is one of those hybrids. Betty could be racist, too. You know what I'm saying? But Sister Betty, Sister Betty for sure, she had him back in. Sister Betty was a cheerleader back in the day, and she one of those old ladies that she got some weight on her, but she's still curvy. That's sister Betty right there.
• 15:56
  She smell.
• 15:59
  She smell like cinnamon rolls, like with Tootsie roll. Bodyguards.
• 16:08
  Yeah. Elite peppermints in their purse. And she got the hat. She got the hat at church. It's in your way. It's senior Betty got that, though. Betty Spaghetti, Betty. Spaghetti, nigga. Oh, take your elbows off the table, Betty.
• 16:26
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, from Betty, from, like, Odessa, like somewhere, wherever they chop. Betty from Chopton, screwed Texas.
• 16:43
  Yeah. That's who Betty is. Betty W. Betty was born a grandma. Betty was born a granny already.
• 16:51
  Betty was born. Betty was born a granny. And then the last one is, this one's gonna be a little bit personal.
• 16:59
  King germ went with Ebony. I have a sister named Ebony, right? And he said that they're more of the earthy, you know what I'm saying? And I can. I can see that a little bit. I can see that a little bit. But I know a lot of Ebony's. Those sisters, they fight, right? The ebony fighting industry.
• 17:23
  Ebony. It was her. It was me. It was me, shemeeka. Ebony. You see I'm going.
• 17:31
  Ebony definitely went to Fremont or locke, maybe Jefferson, but she definitely went. Ebony went to school on the east side.
• 17:42
  Yeah. My cousin Ebony, she, Ebony is a top ten cousin, black cousin of all time top ten. Ebony. Ebony. And that's our cousin, though. That's our cousin from the east side. When we say we a my cousin, we're going over Ebony house.
• 18:05
  Can ebony come outside?
• 18:07
  Oh, Ebony already left sugar mama. Ebony down the street fight. Yeah, that's the ebony I'm talking about.
• 18:16
  That's the ebony I'm talking about, because I'm this one. This is what I'm trying to tell you.
• 18:25
  Ebony.
• 18:29
  Ebony is taking the younger siblings to school, and she get upset. She got an attitude.
• 18:39
  But that's ebony. That's ebony. And like I said, I got a sister named Ebony, so that's a little, you know, that's a little. That's a little personal right there. I like that, though. I like that. And I like that.
• 18:56
  It's called in the reinforcements, though.
• 19:12
  Hello, hello, hello. Hey, how are you doing?
• 19:25
  Guess what? You guys are on the show. Show.
• 19:32
  Today's topic is black names and the description of these names. Caller, do you have a black name?
• 19:49
  What did I say? Oh, um.
• 19:53
  Any color. Any white, green? Black.
• 19:59
  Those are all very black names. Elaborate.
• 20:04
  What do you mean, elaborate? I just told you. Okay, so you saying any color? What did you. So give me a name.
• 20:12
  Black, white, brown, green. Goddamn it. Give me the full name.
• 20:18
  Oh, like a Deshawn green. There we go. Thank you.
• 20:24
  Deshawn Green. That is definitely a four star receiver that's going to Oklahoma State, but he gonna get in trouble because he gonna get in fight at the bowling alley.
• 20:35
  That's Deshawn Green we talking about. But he gonna have a bounce back. He gonna make it to the league.
• 20:40
  But when his baby mama's gonna be on loving hip hop. We already know how this go. Shout out to Deshawn Green now to the person next to you, do you have a name?
• 20:54
  Kaden Johnson.
• 20:56
  Ooh, Kaden. Kaden Johnson definitely mixed. Okay.
• 21:03
  Kaden Johnson definitely mixed. His mom is at all the AAU games. He's actually going to Duke.
• 21:12
  Kaden Johnson, light skin. For sure. Yeah, for sure. Oh, good hair.
• 21:20
  Unless you like a Jaden Johnson. And that turns. That changes it a little bit. Hey, did Jaden's cadence all them dance after something? Them DNS. Oh, yeah. That automatically come with some good hair? Wavy.
• 21:37
  That's funny. Well, I want to thank both of you for participating. You wanna know what you've won?
• 21:45
  What? Sometimes to yourselves. Bye.
• 21:50
  And there we have it. You know what I'm saying? We got. We got Kaden. We got Deshawn, we got Deshawn Green. Okay. Both successful. Deshawn Green ended up going to Oklahoma State. He got into a bowling alley fight. You know what I'm saying? But Kaden or Jaden, you know what I'm saying? Kaden or Jaden, they end up going the good route. You know what I'm saying? Like one of the top AAU players chose Duke. Left Duke after the first year, you know what I'm saying? Got drafted by OKC, and he ended up dating a Kardashian so I got it all mapped out. Now, look, I went through. I went through King Jaron names. That was wife, and that was wifey and britt. That gave you their names. I have to give you a name.
• 22:48
  Shout out to King Jaron. We threw this one off the backboard. We gonna go with Lamont?
• 22:54
  Yeah. Now Lamont is stuck in the realm of uncle and cousin. You know what I mean?
• 23:05
  Lamont was definitely the cousin who had the porn stash.
• 23:10
  Yeah, Lamont was a freaky ass nigga. He was a 69 guy who Lamont.
• 23:15
  Yep. Definitely, definitely. Lamont had. And he stacked dvd's stack, and he started off with the VHS's.
• 23:27
  Yeah, he had amazing, amazing Asians a long time ago.
• 23:32
  He had that one. He had. He. He had that. He had those tapes.
• 23:37
  He had those tapes. Lamont work at FedEx Kinko shipping manager?
• 23:46
  Yep. Lamont went to Dorsey.
• 23:51
  Yeah.
• 23:53
  Like Lamont Peterson.
• 23:59
  Lamont Jamison.
• 24:01
  Yeah, that's Lamont.
• 24:04
  Hey, we throwing a little kickback over here at Lamont.
• 24:09
  You know where Lamont stay at, too? He stay on Lamont.
• 24:16
  Lamont stay in the district. And he's. Lamont stay in the Crenshaw district.
• 24:20
  Yep.
• 24:22
  Yeah. He got palm trees on us, but Lamont stayed. Lamont stayed four blocks away from where they shot snowfall at.
• 24:30
  That's where Lamont stay. That's Lamont.
• 24:34
  Yeah. Lamont gonna have an all black 48th birthday party.
• 24:43
  Yep. Taco man.
• 24:45
  Taco stand outside. Yep.
• 24:48
  It's the taco.
• 24:51
  It's like tour. You get carnasada.
• 24:55
  Um, you're gonna get corn asada, you're gonna get chicken, and you're gonna get pastor.
• 25:03
  Mm hmm. You'll get the green sauce, the hot red sauce. You know, I'm saying, you're gonna get the little veggies and stuff on the side some, you know, might get the shri. No, ain't no shredded. Ain't no shredded.
• 25:18
  Ain't no shredded. But the saucer there, there's also right there with the lines. Lamar. Lamar go. He's gonna get that taco man. And the DJ. And the DJ is gonna be a nigga that went to high school with y'all and gonna be playing all Montel Jordan.
• 25:37
  Yep.
• 25:38
  Lamont knows. Lamont bought Montel Jordan album.
• 25:44
  Lamont Suzuki. That's Lamonte King German. I'm out, bro. I thought, hey, if the shoe fits, you got just. You gotta do something. Hold on, I gotta. You know what? I gotta. I forgot I had a commercial break.
• 26:01
  America treats black people the way cashiers treat pennies.
• 26:08
  Legally, they have to accept us everywhere.
• 26:14
  But if you walk in with more than four or five, everybody's like, what the fuck is this bullshit?
• 26:19
  Yeah. So, yeah, God bless you. I love you all. And go, doyers.
• 26:26
  Bye.