Latest / SHULCHAN ARUCH YOMI: Own the Halacha in 25 minutes a day! / Yoreh De’ah 239:17-240:4. Oaths and HONORING PARENTS: Importance, Examples, Same Name

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Yoreh De’ah 239:17-240:4. Oaths and HONORING PARENTS: Importance, Examples, Same Name · SHULCHAN ARUCH YOMI: Own the Halacha in 25 minutes a day!

• 0:01
  OK, we are at Reish la Metet Sif Yudzai.
• 0:06
  All right, IM talaan zo bizzo. So we have here.
• 0:16
  Let's keep reading. The person's going to make 2
• 0:18
  shavuas that are tied together. What do we mean?
• 0:22
  He says lo O khal, zo IM O khalzo, the lo khalzo in mo
• 0:30
  khalzo. So there's two items in front of
• 0:33
  you. And he says if I'm I'm not going
• 0:36
  to eat this item if I eat the other one.
• 0:39
  And then he says, and if I eat the other one, right, So I'm not
• 0:42
  going to eat A if I eat B. And he says, and I'm not going
• 0:45
  to eat B if I eat A. So they're kind of on each
• 0:49
  other. Now, in this case, it's a little
• 0:52
  different than before. They're both isser and they're
• 0:56
  both a tonight, right? Because each one is a tonight
• 1:01
  for the other Shiva, and each one is the Isser that the Shiva
• 1:05
  is on. OK, So what do we say, Asur?
• 1:11
  You can't eat either one. Why?
• 1:20
  Because the first one is an isser is the isser of the
• 1:24
  Shavua, and it'll become aser for you after the fact.
• 1:29
  Le Mafreya. Perhaps if you eat the other one
• 1:34
  that if you eat the other food. So each one right.
• 1:37
  We learned before that you don't eat the the potential isser
• 1:41
  because it might become aser if you makaiam The Tonight
• 1:44
  afterwards. So each one is aser to eat.
• 1:47
  OK, the IM Akala akas. Now what happens if you eat one
• 1:51
  of them? OK, so obviously look at he lets
• 1:54
  us her to eat either one. Vima khala akas in this Carly
• 1:57
  shivato bisha akhla asur bashiniya.
• 2:01
  Now if you eat one of them, so now what happens?
• 2:07
  So if you eat it while you remember of your shivua that you
• 2:12
  eat one of them. So then the so then you're not
• 2:17
  allowed to eat the second one because the second one right, If
• 2:23
  you already ate the first one and then you come to eat the
• 2:28
  other item, right. So this is what gets a little
• 2:31
  tricky if you knew about it. So for sure it's going to be us
• 2:38
  or to eat the second item because it'll make what you ate
• 2:42
  completely amount you ate Ester according to your Shibuwa.
• 2:46
  But Loni's carp Li Shibuwa tell if when you eat the if when you
• 2:51
  ate that first item, you totally forgot about the shivua that you
• 2:55
  made. So the Shokanarek writes mutter
• 2:58
  bishniya, you're allowed to eat the second one.
• 3:01
  Why? Because this is a shivua
• 3:05
  bishkaga. Because when you are Makayam The
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  Tonight you didn't know about you forgot about the you forgot
• 3:14
  about the Shivua. And so therefore it wasn't that
• 3:17
  Bamezi is Bishkaga. Now this this halacha is a
• 3:23
  Mahloka the post scheme. Some agree and some disagree.
• 3:26
  The point being both are esser and both are tonight and right.
• 3:33
  And the Chicago has to say is only a Chicago that it's not
• 3:36
  call again if when you verbalize it when you say the Shiva or
• 3:40
  when you're Makai MD tonight. So in this case, when you did
• 3:44
  the first item and you did it Bishkaga, well, it was also an
• 3:51
  isser and the eating the isser doesn't make a difference if you
• 3:54
  do a Bishkaga. So many disagree with the
• 3:57
  shalkhanarak. Some uphold the shalkhanarak
• 4:00
  because since it's also a tanai, each Heifetz is also a tanai.
• 4:06
  So because it's also a tanai, it allows it to work and convert
• 4:11
  the Shiva into a Chicago. Again, not everyone understands
• 4:15
  or agrees with that. So lamaisa, yeah, it's a big
• 4:18
  finish. So lamaisa, we should just be
• 4:20
  Mahomer. In general, try and avoid
• 4:24
  Nadarium and Shivuas. In this case, never Kumat never
• 4:27
  happens. So all right, that concludes
• 4:30
  Elka Shivuas. Now we're going to start with
• 4:33
  some helpless keyboard of the aim Completely new new topic.
• 4:39
  OK, helpless keyboard of the aim Simon Reshman.
• 4:45
  OK, he's you covered. There's you more Abedinium
• 4:49
  covered and honoring and fearing or showing odds to 1's parents
• 4:54
  or let's see, Aleph. Sorry, he's a hair my odd
• 4:59
  covered Aviv Viemo. So one must be very careful to
• 5:07
  fulfill the mitzvah of honoring his parents, mother and father
• 5:11
  and to show them the proper respect and acts of awe.
• 5:17
  OK, you know, let me. I just wanted to point out most
• 5:21
  of many of the Ilakas come from Kedushim and of Alamad area and
• 5:25
  Alamad, Alamad bays. So anyways, over there the
• 5:29
  ground reminds us the famous Brysa that we have three
• 5:35
  partners in creation, three partners created us.
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  Karishvaraku is one, our father and our mother are the other
• 5:43
  two. So it's just really important
• 5:46
  that we all properly appreciate all the hard work that our
• 5:50
  parents do for us, all the love that they do for us, all the
• 5:54
  sacrifices they give up their lives daily or whatever
• 6:00
  individual Mycim and some sometimes willing to mamish give
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  up their lives for us and we must appreciate it and even and
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  must show proper, I don't know, return the favor is not the
• 6:14
  right word, but it's a lot more than that.
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  The goodness and show them the proper covered and Yura and
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  helping them and giving them joy.
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  And just to point out, it's foolish for one to be Mahmar on
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  Humra's to for a Kurdish Barku if they're not going to be
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  Mahmar for their own parents who are 2/3 of the of the the
• 6:37
  chutzpin. And if the parents are tangible,
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  we see them, we feel them, we talk to them.
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  Karish bark who's not. So it's a really simple litmus
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  test if you to show if whatever you do for Karish Barkhu is
• 6:53
  really for Karish Barkhu or not for your own ego, if you lack
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  respect for your parents. And praiseworthy and lucky are
• 7:01
  those who realize this well, their while you kids are.
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  We are young and we have years to appreciate and to show
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  respect to our parents ahead of us and while they're still
• 7:12
  around and not realize it when it's too late.
• 7:15
  OK, let's get back to the Haggah.
• 7:17
  The Rama Umiko Malcolm AIM based in Kofin al mitzvahs, keyboard
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  of aim. So this is an interesting alaka
• 7:26
  that Kumar is brought down in Khulim.
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  The taas brings it quotes a portion of it.
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  It's that we don't do the based in is not Mccliev to force a
• 7:37
  child to show proper keyboard out of an aim.
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  The Java lay mitzvahs ASE shamatan scara betsida Shane
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  based in kofin Alea. The principle is whenever there
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  is a mitzvah in the Tara that the Tara gives you this khar for
• 7:55
  it tells you what it is. So by Kivarava aim, it's long
• 8:01
  life and so therefore there's no heave on baisdin to to Force One
• 8:08
  to do it. The fact that you don't need
• 8:10
  Baisdin to punish you and give you lashes, it's your punishment
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  is you're going to lose out on it's Mufurrish.
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  Everyone knows it. You get long life and therefore
• 8:20
  if you choose not to, that in itself is enough of a punishment
• 8:25
  and basin doesn't have to go out of its way on top of it.
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  Now the Tazz right? The Tazz just quotes the case
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  where someone brings in a child who wasn't honoring his parents
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  and they bound them up. They put the handcuffs and
• 8:40
  they're ready to lash him. And So what was his name of two
• 8:47
  of you Omari, I forget. I forget.
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  Anyways, one of the rabeum over there and the Gemara says no
• 8:53
  need to give them lashes. It's I think it maybe quotes it
• 8:57
  here. Is there Rob Kista, Rob Mari
• 8:59
  Anyway, he says leave them alone because of the halakha is you
• 9:03
  don't need to give lashes for basically doesn't have to get
• 9:07
  involved. Bottom line, the the the Taj
• 9:11
  just quotes the Rushalmi that says you they are allowed to get
• 9:14
  involved. The halacha of Ankofin is based
• 9:18
  in doesn't isn't obligated to get involved, but they're
• 9:21
  allowed to get involved. And the Taz says that therefore,
• 9:25
  if based in wants to, they should force them a little bit.
• 9:29
  OK, to what extent? OK, but that's the the Rama says
• 9:34
  they don't have to at all. It seems like the Taz says
• 9:38
  anyways, the the Rama actually does mention it and Hoshin
• 9:42
  Mishbat that it is optional. The question is that the same
• 9:44
  case or not? Anyway, we'll leave that for now
• 9:48
  and we're going to see this coming up, but I think it makes
• 9:51
  I'd rather mention it here is toast was points out.
• 9:55
  It's also in the toss that when it comes to the mitzvah of
• 9:58
  Sedaka. So the Gemara says that Hazal,
• 10:02
  they do force you to give Sedaka, and that's because even
• 10:06
  though the homage tells you that a Kurish bark who's going to
• 10:09
  give araka is going to give you a bracha, still it since there's
• 10:13
  also a love and keep it of aim, there's no love component.
• 10:17
  But for Sedaka there's low tick putts.
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  You can't hold your finger, hands closed from helping and
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  giving to the onion. So therefore there is a love
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  component. And for Sedaka we actually do
• 10:29
  force. OK, let's keep reading.
• 10:35
  But what's what does it mean to show respect for your parents?
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  Or, ah, really for your parents? English, Hebrew, whatever.
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  So what is Mora? It's also a form of cavut.
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  LO, yeah. Ahmad BIM como don't stand in
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  his place. Hami yuhadlo la Ahmad sham
• 10:54
  bizhot zucchini in caviro. Right?
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  A place where he normally sits among elders.
• 11:02
  I don't know Knesset or in Congress or any other place of
• 11:06
  meetings. Abdak that's such an extreme,
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  but a place where he sits for meetings right with the the
• 11:14
  older folks in town. One should not stand there.
• 11:18
  Oh, Malcolm and Yukadel, it's Palo or even where he Davens
• 11:21
  person has a Malcolm Kavua, right.
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  That's an important Talaca and so therefore beloyshev the
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  Malcolm, he should not sit in his seat at some point up.
• 11:32
  I feel that's more of Daledamos, OK, whatever some say, but the
• 11:38
  point is if he has a set seat in Davanin, so in that seat you do
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  not sit the Hasa. Also Malcolm Hameyuch.
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  So even if he has a place, he has his table, his seat usually
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  at the head of the table, wherever he sits could be a
• 11:54
  round table, wherever his normal seat is, that's his seat.
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  One should not sit there, right, or in his office if he has a
• 12:01
  special chair for himself. Lovilo, right.
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  And obviously a father could be Boko, but that's I think we're
• 12:08
  going to get there later. So here anyways, Velo mut, Velo
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  soter ET dvarov. Also, one should not contradict
• 12:16
  his father, Vlomakria ET Tvarov Befanov.
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  And also if he's in front of his father with other people,
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  there's a discussion. He shouldn't say, yeah, yeah, my
• 12:27
  father's right. I agree with my father.
• 12:29
  OK, That's considered disrespectful that he needs you
• 12:34
  to stick up for him. A Philo Lomar nearing Divreaba.
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  Just to say to me it makes sense what my father's saying.
• 12:42
  The Loyuchrano Bishmo. He should not call his father by
• 12:46
  his by his name. By his first name, Lobekaya
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  Velobe Moto. Not whether he's alive or
• 12:53
  deceased. Hello, Omar.
• 12:55
  We're going to get to a later on.
• 12:57
  It's going to talk about mentioning one mentions his
• 13:00
  father's name, when and if to say Harini Kaparas Mishkovo.
• 13:04
  We'll save that for a little bit later.
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  Ella Omer Alba Mari. But whenever he speaks to his
• 13:09
  father, he should always call him ABBA.
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  Mari's the ideal terminology, but many of us, it's just ABBA
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  or just her dad or whatever it is.
• 13:19
  Those are. That's the way to address 1's
• 13:22
  parents. OK, but not with his first name,
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  Haya Shame Aviv Kashaim Aharim. Now what happens if your father
• 13:33
  has the same name as as your friend that is someone else in
• 13:36
  the room and you want to call to your to the someone else and
• 13:39
  he's got but that's your father's name.
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  What do you do? So then Shakhanar says Mishana
• 13:46
  Shamam, you have to change their name a little bit.
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  Change the name and make a nickname, change the name a
• 13:53
  little bit. Do something Imhu Imhu shame
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  Shihu Pelli Shane hako regilin likrot.
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  Well, that's your father. That's so it depends according
• 14:05
  to the Shah Kanaka means like this.
• 14:07
  If your father has an unusual name, right everyone Well,
• 14:11
  that's I haven't heard that name before.
• 14:13
  It's one in very rare. OK, obviously there's going to
• 14:18
  be a discussion where you know how far do you take it but a
• 14:20
  very strange name. So then according to the show,
• 14:25
  even whether the father is in the room or not in the room, 1
• 14:29
  should change this one should never say that name even to
• 14:33
  right. That's your friend's name.
• 14:34
  You should change it and not use it.
• 14:37
  But, and if he's in the room, even if it's the same name, the
• 14:41
  normal same name, but he's in the room, your father, people
• 14:44
  are going to might think you call to your friend.
• 14:46
  People are going to say, oh, looks like you're calling to
• 14:48
  your father by his first name. So that's a problem.
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  The but the Shah quotes the Drisha who says wait a second
• 14:57
  little bit different one SEC. Well, let me finish for first
• 15:00
  reading the the Rama rather aval.
• 15:02
  What what did I just say? The the it's completed by the
• 15:05
  Rama and then haggah aval shame Shira Gilimbo Moto lacroat
• 15:11
  Acherim Shalobafanov. But if it's a regular name, so
• 15:15
  there are Shalkhanarak and the Rama go together.
• 15:18
  If it's a regular name and so and your father is not there,
• 15:23
  it's a common name, then one can use that name even if it's the
• 15:27
  same name as your father. That's not a problem unless it's
• 15:30
  a very unusual name. OK.
• 15:32
  However, the shock quotes, the Drisha says not we're not so
• 15:36
  Mahmer that it says it's only a problem if it's a strange name
• 15:43
  and your father's in the room. That's the only time it's a
• 15:46
  problem. If your father's not in the
• 15:47
  room, never an issue. And if it's a regular name, my
• 15:52
  name is Yosef. So if my son has a friend over
• 15:54
  who's Yosef, he's allowed to call his friend Yosef, even
• 15:57
  though I'm in the room. So that is the opinion of the
• 16:00
  Drisha, and it is a Mahloquet Achronium hadapaskan.
• 16:05
  So some agree, some disagree with the but the general Minad
• 16:09
  is to be a Mako for the most part, either because we possibly
• 16:15
  like the Drisha or we assume that the father is not going to
• 16:18
  care. You know, it's it's Mocha.
• 16:21
  And so therefore the the general halacha is to be Mako like the
• 16:27
  Drisha. OK.
• 16:29
  But again, there are some were Mahmar and there is certainly
• 16:33
  room to be Mahmar as long as it doesn't create too much friction
• 16:36
  or confusion or whatever. OK, let's see. 2nd the TAZ.
• 16:45
  I'll just point out about what we discussed.
• 16:48
  Interesting Taz. He points out from the tour that
• 16:52
  one is allowed a child when his father's in the room.
• 16:56
  There's a discussion between the fathers in the previous topic.
• 16:59
  The father is having a discussion with his friends.
• 17:02
  So it is OK for the for the son to pipe up and say, wait a
• 17:06
  second, I have a proof to support my father or disprove
• 17:12
  you as he's allowed to come up with construct constructive,
• 17:18
  useful information that will help his father.
• 17:21
  But just that's not considered disrespectful.
• 17:24
  He's helpful. But just to say, you know, to
• 17:26
  pipe up. Yeah, my father is right.
• 17:28
  So I agree with my father, you know, listen to me because I
• 17:31
  agree with my father. It's almost like you're saying
• 17:33
  you're more important and than your father.
• 17:38
  Like, why should they listen to you if your father is more
• 17:40
  knowledgeable and smarter? The fact that you're piping up
• 17:43
  is insulting, but OK. And then he also points out that
• 17:49
  one could disagree if his father's not in the room.
• 17:52
  He also points this out because he sees the tour often argues on
• 17:56
  his own father, the Roche. So you even see it in writing.
• 18:00
  He says, yes, you're allowed to write about them and you know
• 18:02
  disagree and that's OK. And he also points out though,
• 18:07
  if you have a possibility, let's say you disagree with your
• 18:11
  father and your father and another guy has the same
• 18:15
  opinion. So you disagree with both of
• 18:17
  them. So if you can be respectful,
• 18:20
  don't just say hey dad, I disagree with you for X reason.
• 18:23
  Tell the guy, the other guy I disagree with Mr. X.
• 18:27
  Don't mention your father and say I disagree with Mr. X for X,
• 18:31
  you know, for XY and you know whatever reason you have.
• 18:34
  And then however you can do it that it's more Derek covered to
• 18:38
  1's father. One should obviously do OK,
• 18:40
  let's just do a bit more. How far does one have?
• 18:48
  Should one have fear for his father?
• 18:51
  Hayah Ben Lavush Kamudo. Let's say his son was wearing
• 18:55
  nice clothing. Vyoshi Berosh Al Kahal.
• 18:58
  He's sitting at the head of the table, head of the room, head of
• 19:02
  the banquet, whatever it is. Ubao Avi Viemo and his parents
• 19:07
  come to him. Everyone is there in the room,
• 19:09
  Hundreds of people are looking at him.
• 19:11
  Vicaro Bigadov. They go map to him and then they
• 19:15
  RIP his clothing, vie call a Rochelle.
• 19:17
  And then they hit him on the head VR Kubafanov and they spit
• 19:21
  at him. LOI Yahoo motam.
• 19:24
  The sun should just be quiet and you shouldn't say anything to
• 19:27
  them. El Ayishtok be quiet the yeara
• 19:31
  melek malhem lachem and quickly make sure you have era of a
• 19:36
  Quraish Barku who's watching what's going on should see
• 19:39
  Valbekashem commanded you. You have to show them Kiba Mora
• 19:45
  of AIM. And therefore, even though
• 19:47
  they're doing this to you in public, don't get back, don't
• 19:50
  react and just let it be. And that is how must one conduct
• 19:57
  himself for of Mora Dalid azo keyboard.
• 20:02
  Now what is keyboard? So what is what we call what we
• 20:08
  would normally translate as honouring one's parents.
• 20:11
  Again, like I said, Mora is also a form of honouring with respect
• 20:15
  and but it's more don't against more of a lotas type of issues.
• 20:22
  Keyboard is is also. They're also both forms of
• 20:25
  honour and respect, but this is more positive.
• 20:28
  Mahilo Umashkeo 1 feeds him and eats or gives him food and gives
• 20:34
  him drink ma or cooks for him, whatever it is Maalbish gets him
• 20:38
  clothing, puts it on him, goes to buy it for him, whatever.
• 20:42
  We're going to talk about money soon, Maalbish.
• 20:48
  So that's clothing. Mahanis umozi, bring him into
• 20:54
  the house, outside of the house, bringing him to a Simcha,
• 20:57
  bringing him to the doctor. Whatever it is, the tenenulo,
• 21:02
  the sever panimyafoats and everything you do for him, you
• 21:05
  must do it with a smile. Shafilo machilo bacoyon petumot,
• 21:10
  because you could feed him everyday fancy delicacies, the
• 21:15
  hailo panimzoafoats. But if you do it with the face
• 21:19
  of like you're angry at him or you're upset at him or you're
• 21:23
  showing him you really don't like doing this for him,
• 21:26
  Netanash Allah, one will get punished for it.
• 21:30
  The most important is you do it the Simcha with a smile,
• 21:34
  whatever you can do. And so to the just the opposite.
• 21:42
  Let's say you make your father work for you and work hard for
• 21:45
  you. The covenant tolitova and your
• 21:48
  whole kavana is to merely to benefit for him.
• 21:52
  Kadeshi Natal Aviv medavar kasha etermiza to prevent him from
• 21:57
  doing something more difficult with his time.
• 21:59
  Umadaber piusim aliv Aviv. But you speak with him with love
• 22:05
  and nice words, and you make him feel good, Umar El
• 22:08
  ochikavanatola tova and you show him that what you're doing for
• 22:10
  him is really for his own benefit.
• 22:12
  Aichi tretse Aviv that your father wants to work hard at
• 22:18
  sweat and crush those crush at the mill.
• 22:22
  No hell Olam Haba. Then you're going to get olam
• 22:24
  haba for that. And you should whatever a
• 22:31
  servant does for his his master, one should also do for his for
• 22:36
  his his his his father. You know, it's food, whether
• 22:42
  it's trying to think, whether it's maybe for baiting.