Latest / WOC and Allies: Business and Career Realtalk with Elaine Lou Cartas / 134: Executive Influence at the Queen Mary: Using Conscious Conversations® to Lead, Communicate & Get What You Want

Transcript

134: Executive Influence at the Queen Mary: Using Conscious Conversations® to Lead, Communicate & Get What You Want · WOC and Allies: Business and Career Realtalk with Elaine Lou Cartas

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's been about one month since I had three speaking gigs, actually, all within the same week.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_01: A talk with Amazon, a talk with 50 plus hospitality and travel executives.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: And then I ended the month where I went to the Queen Mary in Long Beach to speak about executive influence to 50 leaders for an event for Human Save, which is a nonprofit that helps mental health for trafficking survivors.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: So we talked about executive influence, but it's not what you think.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's not the fake it till you make it, being performative.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's actually about the real stuff, understanding your nervous system, being able to read a room, having a hard conversation without losing yourself, steps on how to ask for a raise, and starting a business.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: So my favorite part though was there is a moment where just intuitively I was doing a QA as I do, not just towards the end, but during the workshop.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I felt called to bring this woman up.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: And it was just so heartwarming.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: So you're gonna want to grab your coffee, tea, or boba, and let's drop the beat.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_03: My name is Natasha McPherson.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_03: I'm the vice president and managing director of Hall Wealth Management.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_02: So what are we doing here right now at the Queen Mary?
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_03: Right now, we are doing a women's retreat that benefits survivors of human trafficking for the only nonprofit in America that serves mental health therapy for human trafficking survivors.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_02: And I know we just came off during my presentation on executive influence.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_02: Can you share how it was just seeing me present and be involved?
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_03: If you're looking for someone to speak to women and teach them how to get to where they want to go, Elaine is absolutely the person.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_03: Her insight, she brings years of insight and knowledge to the game.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_03: And Natasha, what makes me unique as a speaker?
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's your background and your story.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm not gonna tell them your background on the story.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_03: That way they come see you talk or they hire you to talk.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_03: And I promise you will not be disappointed.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_02: Well, thank you so much.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_02: We have a group of women that we're gonna be here to support.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_02: So thank you, Natasha.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for coming.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_03: We appreciate you.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_02: Harry One, we're at the Queen Mary.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: I just came off a talk.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: So who are you?
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Tiffany.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a dentist, and I met you at Glidewell Dental.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, what made you decide to want to work with me?
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, when I heard you speak, I was immediately drawn to you because you were um I felt like I could relate to you, and you inspired me right away with your speaking and that you were very, very intuitive.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_02: And so we've been working together for almost 10 months.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_02: Do you want to share what you feel comfortable sharing of how it's been working with me and any results?
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: I love working with you, Elaine.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: I've been extremely grateful because I feel like you can read me and you know what I need even before I do, and you empower me to take inspired action, and I feel much more clarity in my moving forward in my career and life.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: For anyone that might be interested in working with me, what would you share?
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um, do it.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: She's amazing.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, um, Elaine is a perfect balance of being motherly, nurturing, and also kicking your butt when you need it.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you for doing that.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_02: And that that's literally not real.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_02: I don't kick anyone's butt.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_02: I just want to be clear.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_02: I'm really excited to present to you, Elaine.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um please join me in welcoming her.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna stay on this side.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_02: I'm breaking norms, I'm gonna stay on this side.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_02: All right, how cute is this outfit?
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_02: Because when you think of executive influence, you don't exactly think about that, but probably that's exactly how you feel.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_02: Like, mmm, why do I have to show up like that?
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_02: Um, just in case this was shot at Silver Lake.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_02: This is not AI, by the way.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_02: And yes, people were staring at me just similar to what all of you were experiencing when people were staring at you laughing.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_02: And I know one of my clients was just like, do they think we're part of a cult?
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_02: But that's actually part of executive presence and executive influence of okay, other people may perceive me in a certain way, but what matters is how I perceive myself.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_02: One, and two, what is my goal here?
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_02: Your goal was not them staring at you, your goal was to be present and to laugh.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_02: So just congratulations to that.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_02: All right, I want to make this interactive.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_02: I'm feeling like you all have just been out on your own doing yoga and sound bath, but I want to hear what sports do you play?
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_02: Just yell it out.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_02: Anyone?
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_02: Pilates and pickleball counts, by the way.
• 4:53
  unknown: Pickleball cycling.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_02: Pickleball, cycling, what else?
• 4:56
  unknown: Tennis.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_02: Tennis, okay.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_02: So this, you're probably surprised, but for 21 years I've been doing Muay Thai.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_02: So boxing, martial arts, so you do not want to mess with me.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_02: That's why I want to start off that way.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_02: And also, since we're here, you know, really raising money for survivors, I could come off to the side and show you some moves later on.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_02: But any sport, tennis, cycling, even boxing, Muay Thai, it's all about blocking, pivoting, and then transitioning and putting up your hit.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_02: So when it comes to executive influence, I want you to think of it similarly that way.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_02: So I will share a lot of practical things with all of you as well as strategies.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_02: So there's a little flyer at your table so you could get the QR code.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_02: You don't have to do it right now because I know all of you are gonna go on TikTok and Instagram.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_02: So do it later if you can, okay?
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_02: Be present.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_02: So just like sports, when executive influence is being curious, being an observer, and be like a scientist.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_02: So often we make decisions based off data, right?
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_02: Supply chain systems and numbers.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_02: But I want to remind you, it's also communication.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_02: It's also the people that you're communicating with.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_02: So I really want to make sure this benefits all of you.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_02: And, you know, I was thinking about this yesterday.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_02: So this is my third speaking engagement this past week.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_02: I did executive coaching with 70 Amazon leaders in Ontario, California.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_02: And then I did executive coaching with 40 executives from Ritz Carlton and Marriott, and I'm feeling very spicy right now, being around a lot of women.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_02: And I say this because the themes are common: work-life balance, what is that?
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_02: One, two, how do I just grow my team?
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: And I think about how I grew up.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_02: My grandmother, she always had people come over.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_02: Anyone grew up that way?
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_02: Like there was always people at that house.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm very grateful my parents was also that household, and all the moms and aunts would like, you know, be in the kitchen.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought it was cheese mess, which is gossiping.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_02: It was like, no, it's also a place for them to connect.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_02: And let's be real.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_02: We don't have that as much, right?
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_02: It's like, let's be efficient, let's be productive, let's keep doing all the things.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_02: And I want to make sure that we're in community beyond this as well.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_02: So you're all in small little communities.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_02: Even if you know each other, name what you do.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_02: But I want to hear from you what's your number one goal, what's your number one challenge?
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm gonna give you about five minutes and I'll check in if you need more time, I'll give you time.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_02: But let's be in community.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_02: And if you cook up something in your own table and kitchen, share some with me.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_02: Can we play some music in the background as they talk?
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_02: And just so you know what I would like for you to report back from the table, if you could share, okay.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_02: This is what we figured out our number one goal is and our number one challenge is from each table.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_02: Hi everyone.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_02: How is it connecting with everybody?
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_02: Good?
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_02: All right, I'm gonna, because you know I want to make a checklist.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_02: I want to go through each table and ask what was the number one goal and challenge for each table that you feel comfortable sharing.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_02: This is interactive.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm gonna put my clients on the spot.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_02: So that table over there first.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_02: Were you able to choose one goal?
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_02: Growth and moving forward.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_02: What what's a challenge?
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_02: Communication?
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna put communication as a challenge here.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_02: Are all of you like, damn, did Elaine just make us do this?
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_02: We didn't really talk.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_02: We just want to talk, talk.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_02: That's okay.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_02: Actually, I want to know how many of you are business owners or have an idea?
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_02: Raise your hands.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_02: How many of you are you know, I'm paying for my rent and my mortgage.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_02: That's completely fine.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_02: But you are working nine to five.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_02: Anyone?
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_02: Raise your hands?
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_02: How many of you, for those people that just raised their hands, how many of you want to get a promotion next?
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_02: I just want to get a feel for it.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_02: So expansion, money, and clarity.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_02: That's what I heard.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_02: All right, don't worry, I'll talk about money.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I was a former fundraiser and I raised$11 million.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_02: Nine million was at Pasanese City College Foundation.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_02: So very grateful for the work I did.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_02: And then before that, I'm glad I don't, I'm not in this world anymore.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_02: I worked in political campaigns.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_02: I still vote.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_02: I want to say that is very important.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_02: I vote local, state, national, and special elections.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_02: So I do that as my due diligence as a citizen.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_02: Any other tables want to share?
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_02: Goal and challenge.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, that back, and then we'll go here here.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, come up here, actually.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_02: There's a mic.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_02: Because God, universe knew she didn't need it.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_02: She just needed the mic on stage to share.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_05: So I've had eight brain surgeries.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_05: Um six years ago, I was diagnosed with ROK R malformation and some of my disease that affects one out of a thousand women.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_05: Some women, some men have the disease, but they don't know it until they're only right.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_05: Um I worked for Kaiser Sunset, I was a nurse.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_05: Um to work and just write a software.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_05: And I saw that something else.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_05: Um people who encourage you to keep going.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_05: But I also shared my uh purpose.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like everything happens for a reason, you know?
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_02: She you're probably pissed, like, I forgot all of it.
• 12:35
  unknown: Yeah, yeah.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but she needed the mic.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_05: You got an email.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_05: You got an email so I can send it to you because it's in my how many of you want to talk connect with her during lunch?
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_02: Raise your hand.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_02: Anyone?
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_02: Look, you got a little fan base.
• 12:49
  unknown: Thank you.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_02: Please give her a round of applause.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um, it was interesting when I was connecting with my clients.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, okay, what was happening?
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_02: And then feeling the room, talking about executive influence.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_02: And so, yes, I prepped this, but it's not just this when you're in those board meetings, when you're having those job interviews, it's also, like I said, looking at the data, reading the room.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_02: And what I was reading is, because I've also been a participant for a lot of these events, and for some of you, it's like, God, there's just so many sessions, like, there's all these incredible, incredible women.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_02: I want to connect with them.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_02: And I was just feeling the energy, and I'm like, they just need to connect with one another.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_02: And honestly, I was unattached.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_02: I know I called some of you in.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_02: I don't call you out that you didn't do this exercise, and that's okay.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_02: I just wanted to make sure we were all in community.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_02: All right, this table raised your hand, and then this table, and then we're gonna get going.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_02: So, anyone want to share?
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_02: Work life balance.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_02: Um okay.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I'm just gonna re be real, that is a lie, but I'll talk about it more later.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_02: Because it's just being honest of like where your capacity is, right?
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, how many of you are mothers?
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_02: Caregiving your parents and your aunts?
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_02: I told you I'm spicy, and it's like, where's my other siblings and brothers helping out?
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_02: But it's me.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_02: I'm the oldest daughter, this is why I'm talking like this, okay?
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_02: But it's a lot of us women, and then just being realistic, and I have this conversation all the time with my clients.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_02: Where am I at in life and what's the capacity I have?
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_02: Because sleep is also important as well.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_02: All right, this table.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_02: What do you want to share?
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_04: Hi everyone.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_04: My name is Anetta Daniel.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_04: That's important to remember because that's gonna be me next year, and they're gonna call me up.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_02: Why don't you why don't you uh manifest it right now and be on stage right now?
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_02: You wanna talk?
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_04: You guys probably don't have the hook back there that will take me off if I go too long.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm here, girl.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_01: I got a real hook, okay?
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: Do you got insurance?
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_04: Listen, it ain't done in the truth, but the whole truth.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_04: That's about brought enough earth.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_04: So when the hook comes out, I won't be surprised.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_04: You see, my hand is white.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_04: But if you live long enough, anybody can get gray hair.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_04: But this is the crown of glory.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, scripture.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_04: A crown of glory to the righteous.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_04: So I digress.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_04: Our goal today, we came here because we are networking.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_04: Not to impress you, but to impress upon you.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_04: February 14th of this year, last month, I dropped my first novel.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_04: That's a handclap.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_04: So we're here today to just to be with other people.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_04: Sisters.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_04: What's better?
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_04: Maybe one thing on this planet.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_04: Not two, but one thing that's better than a woman on this planet.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_04: Alright.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_04: So I'm in a world full of women that are gorgeous, beautiful, all ages, all colors.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_04: Listen.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_04: This is what life is about.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_04: So, again, my goal is to be a world-renowned motivational speaker.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_04: And how I got here today was Natasha, wherever she is.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_04: Natasha McPherson.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_04: About three weeks ago, I was at an event.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_04: It's a Soul for Brunch on February, you know, Black People Month.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_04: Well, every month is our month.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_04: But the point is, February.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_04: So we had the Soul for Brunch, it's my fourth year there.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_04: And every year they give what they call a Treble Blazer Award.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_04: I've sat there many times for four years, no one knows who the Trevor Blazer will be this year.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_04: And the 2026 Travel Blazer Award goes to Aneta Daniel.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_04: So within milliseconds, I'm saying to myself, Anetta Daniel.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_04: That sounds familiar.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_04: Then I go, oh, that's me.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_04: So I make my way to the podium, and afterwards, Natasha's there, and we hit it off right away.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_04: Because I couldn't tell where her ethnicity was, but I knew she had a drop of black in her somewhere.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_04: Because all you need is really a drop of black, right?
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_04: But we hit it off right away, and she invited me here.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_04: I brought two of my good friends, Kissy, Dolores Kissy Cooper, and my good friend Bianca.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_04: And she's from another country, she got a last name longer than the whole room, so Bianca.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_04: But again, uh, so we don't have any challenges because we're fearless.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_04: Fear is false evidence appearing real, so knock it off.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_04: I've heard y'all said y'all was Christians.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_04: Come on now, how you gonna be a Christian and worry about something?
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_04: It don't match.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_04: Make it make sense.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_04: So thank you for letting me speak.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_04: I love you all.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_04: And look, whoever been to a laugh bath?
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_04: That was amazing, the laugh yoga.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_04: So I love new things.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_04: It's a pleasure to be here.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_04: We got paparazzi.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_04: We got finds us up here.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_04: Let's say we write it.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_06: I'm not mad.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_04: We're discussing about who's gonna be here next year, me or her.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_04: But anyway, I'm always rooting for me.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_04: But again, no one does anything alone.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_04: And thank you so much for letting me speak to you today.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_04: I love you all.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_02: You're amazing.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_02: Honestly.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't have to be me or you, it could be both of us.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, what did you want to share?
• 19:08
  unknown: Newly emerging purpose.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_02: Fulfill new newly emerging purpose.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna go through this.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_02: I might change things up.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_02: I want to make this interactive.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna read your faces.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_02: So if you ain't feeling it, then I'm gonna change it, okay?
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_02: But you can also be direct with me too.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_02: Be like, mm, can we just talk about something else?
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_02: That's okay too.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_02: Okay?
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_02: These are challenges in the past two presentations I've done that all of you have actually expressed.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_02: And also, what show is this?
• 19:36
  unknown: Yeah.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_02: Anyone know how I met your mother?
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um, running on empty, overwhelmed, feeling alone, can't say no, boundaries.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_02: Raise your hand.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_02: Everyone feeling this?
• 19:46
  unknown: No.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_02: All right, so I'll be sharing actual tools, time management, and pausing, tools to bring back team, get a promotion, but there's also some business owners.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_02: Also, how to are there any starting entrepreneurs or starting?
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_02: Scaling, growing, raise your hands.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I want to feel the room out.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_02: Who am I five besides a stand-up comedian?
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_02: First off, what movie is this?
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_02: Do we know the date when the second one's coming out?
• 20:15
  unknown: May 2nd.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_02: May 1st.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_02: May 1st, sorry.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, 36 days and counting.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_02: I'm very excited.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_02: I know I'm an executive coach and speaker, but my favorite title is Daughter of a Filipino Immigrant Farmer.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_02: And I share this all the time because a lot of you probably resonate with this, but my grandparents survived so my parents can provide.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_02: And my parents provided so I can thrive.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_02: So when people ask me, like, why did you start your own business?
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_02: Why do you go on stage?
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_02: Because of the sacrifices made before me and the privilege I have.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_02: And so I share that not just my story, but to even think for all of you, as I look at the goals, growth, moving forward, expansion, because I get it, like it's not my quote, but the itty bitty shetty committee in our head, right?
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_02: That makes us feel uncomfortable to get to that next step.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_02: It's also because of the trauma from generations before us.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_02: It's the epigenetics, and also reminding generations before us hey, I see you, I know the sacrifices you made, and thank you.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_02: I got it right now.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_02: So, yes, I've trained in coach Fortune 500 leaders, but I have failed.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_02: I have been fired, I've been let go.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_02: The reason why I got into boxing boxing and Muay Thai is because I have been bullied when I was a teenager.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_02: I was also bullied at work, so I learned how to no longer be a punching bag and beat the out of the punching bag instead.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_02: Not people though.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_02: I also want to make it very clear I never beat up any of my bullies.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_02: Because I I don't need to prove anything to them.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_02: All right, being a better leader can be like a supply chain systems and output.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_02: So this is what you'll get, but let me keep going.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_02: All right, are you ready?
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_02: I need some energy.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_02: All right, this is my framework.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_02: So for those of you that want to be speakers and even being up here, what's important is also having a framework.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_02: And what's great is a lot of us started off with passion, which is the middle of this heart.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_02: And so I want to hear from you.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_02: I want three people to share.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_02: What makes you passionate about what you do?
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_02: Also, no judgment.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_02: I did this, I asked this question twice this week, and someone was like, you know what?
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_02: I'm going to Puerto Rico.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_02: And what I'm passionate about is that paycheck to pay for my trip.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_02: And there's no judgment there.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so anyone want to share?
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_02: Hmm, love it.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_02: Who else seen change manifest around you?
• 22:59
  unknown: Helping people.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_02: Helping people.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so we're gonna talk about the pause.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_02: My background is okay, Harry Potter.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_02: I'm upset that there's a second remake, by the way.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_02: I think the first is better.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_02: But when it comes to communicating with people, not just at board meetings, but even doing sales conversations, it's understanding your trauma.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_02: I am not a therapist.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_02: I highly believe in therapy.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_02: EMDR saved my life specifically.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_02: And it's just understanding your trauma response.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_02: When you're getting in those difficult conversations and when you're about to do that sales call, are you in the fight, I want to prove I'm right?
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_02: I usually am.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_02: Or flight, I just don't want to deal with this, and then we just walk away.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_02: Or are we on the freeze, I don't know what to do right now?
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_02: Or in the fawn, I just want everybody to be happy.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_02: So it's not just being mindful about where you're at when you're having that difficult conversation, it's also being mindful of other people in that room and noticing patterns.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_02: I think so often we go into a conversation and we're like, ugh, I just I'm not prepared, but you are, you kind of know how they're already gonna communicate.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_02: You probably know they're gonna probably belittle you, yell at you.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_02: They're gonna come with like, I need some proof and data why we're gonna move forward.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_02: So come from a, oh, are you some of you are taking pictures?
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_02: There's they're also on the slide.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_02: Did you need to take it?
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_02: Are you good?
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, cool.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_02: Come from a place of curiosity over judgment.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_02: And so I want to show this picture of the brain.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_02: I went to User C Irvine, I studied the Cognitive Sciences, which is the study of the brain.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_02: Amydala, it's basically the smoke detector.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_02: I've been in this situation before.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_02: This person's giving me feedback.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like I'm I'm actually being attacked.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_02: This actually happened with a family member where they were just giving me feedback about different things.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, I planned this for two weeks already.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_02: But the reality is they were just giving me feedback.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_02: I just went back to my five-year-old self, or I'm just not enough.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_02: I see some people nodding.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_02: The hippocampus is the librarian.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_02: It reminds you of all past situations.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_02: I've been in a meeting like this before.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_02: I'm going to fail.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_02: But the reality is, this is our lizard brain.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_02: What makes us unique as humans is our prefrontal cortex, our logical brain.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_02: So what's great is a lot of you did the sound bath and you did the laughter and the yoga as well.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_02: But breathing, who's this amazing queen?
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_02: Simone Biles.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_02: Breathing helps you, it's closer to here, get you to your prefrontal cortex, so you're thinking more logically and you're making decisions, as opposed to thinking about the worst-case scenarios here.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_02: So you see this with Olympians and athletes, that they're constantly breathing and they're visualizing.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_02: So if Olympians are doing it, we could do it too.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I don't that have this at as a slide, but has anyone been to any Japanese gardens?
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_02: So it's great is they have a small um I have some, I think I have some Japanese folks here, so please correct me if I'm wrong.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_02: What is that small little thing before they walk?
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_02: What's the name of it?
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_02: Do you know?
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_02: So I learned this at the Portland Japanese Gardens, which is really beautiful.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_02: So the tea rooms are actually negotiation rooms, so there's no war.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_02: Before you go into the tea room, there is actually a station here.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_02: So the guard from the other country will get you.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_02: And the reason why they get you from the station is if you've been to these gardens, they're so beautiful.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_02: It's so that you could walk and be self-regulated and present before you go in the tea room and negotiate.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_02: When I learned that, I was like, we do not do that.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_02: Before we have a difficult conversation or meeting, we look at our phone, we go on Instagram, and then it's like, let's just have the meeting.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_02: So the question is when we're about to do a difficult task, we have a difficult conversation, regardless if it's work, our partners, or family members, are we taking the time to be present?
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_02: One of my clients yesterday, she said, My favorite time is walking to the mailbox.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_02: That's fine.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_02: Like you don't need a T room to have to do this, it could just literally be walking to the mailbox.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_02: And something I've practiced, which sounds so simple but hard for a lot of us, is walking without my phone outside.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_02: What?
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no music, no podcast, being alone in my thoughts.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_02: And as you even drive home, what I often do too is don't put music on.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_02: Be present.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_02: Try not to cut someone off or cuss them out because of traffic.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_02: That's hard, let me tell you.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_02: Because if you don't breathe, you're gonna be like my favorite Disea Princess anxiety.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_02: Has anyone watched Inside Out too?
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_02: Highly recommend.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_02: So don't forget to just breathe.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_02: Um, when I do a lot of trainings, because people are like, oh, you're just from LA, you always like, why do I just have to breathe?
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_02: It's also important to explain the science behind it as well.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_02: And so, how does this have to do anything when it comes to working in teams being a leader?
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_02: I say this as a first-gen immigrant, some of you may relate.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_02: I just was used to growing up where my parents said, You have to do this, as opposed to explain why you have to do this.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_02: So I remember my four-year-old niece, she was screaming, it was at Tahoe, she was completely fine.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_02: She was just having a tantrum.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_02: My cousin, her mom, was saying, she said, Hey, you need to put your shoes on.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_02: We were about to go hiking at Tahoe, so obviously there's rocks, you could get hurt.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_02: She wants to put her sandals on.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_02: And she's like, No, I want to put my sandals on.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to put my shoes on.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_02: And it was so interesting how intuitive it was for me.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_02: But I just got to her same level because when you're standing up, it could be authoritarian.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_02: And I just asked her, like, hey, you really want to put your shoes, like your sandals on, huh?
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I don't know why I need to put my shoes on.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_02: Well, there's gonna be a lot of rocks.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_02: And if there's a lot of rocks, you might trip and hurt yourself.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_02: And your mommy loves you very much.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_02: You don't want to hurt yourself, right?
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_02: Like, okay, so do you want to put your shoes on so you don't hurt yourself?
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_02: And she understood that.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_02: So I actually want to challenge you.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_02: Where are you doing that at work as well?
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_02: So I was working with um someone from one of the travel and hospitality folks two days ago, and they were talking about how do I get to that next level?
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_02: And it's actually how are you communicating with your team in terms of thought process, asking curious questions.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_02: Unfortunately, we like are in school where we're doing the things, and I was straight A's valedictorian, but then the next step to get to leadership or a small business owner or getting into C-suite is what are questions I'm asking.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm not gonna look at her, but one of my clients we're doing a coaching session yesterday, she's like, So they want me to like create this new spreadsheet and data set, and they they don't have anything before.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Well, did you ask them what's in who's the decision makers?
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_02: What's important for the decision makers?
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_02: How do they like communicating?
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, go ask those questions.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_02: I think so often we figure out like what's the answers, but the reality is what are the questions to ask?
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_02: So, for those of you that want to start a business, what I often tell them is like, okay, what are the topics you're interested in?
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_02: And then find people that have come to you for advice and like ask, hey, why did you come to me for advice?
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I'm looking at one of my friends who I was talking to about this.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_02: Why do you come to me for advice?
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_02: I'm thinking of creating this service and product, what are your thoughts?
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_02: Because you're gathering that information ahead of time.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_02: Similar to if you're an executive, let's say you want to create a new initiative, create those allies, figure out who are your allies and ask them for feedback.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_02: I'm thinking about this, what are your thoughts?
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_02: Or I'm having trouble having a discussion with this person, you get along with that person so well.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_02: How did you make that work?
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_02: What advice do you have for me?
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_02: Anyone familiar with zones of regulation?
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_02: I see a nod.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_02: My therapist shared this with me, but when you're having a difficult conversation, you want to make sure you're in the green zone.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_02: You're calm.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_02: And what do you have to do when you're calm?
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_02: I'm testing you.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_01: Breathe.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_02: When you notice you're anxious, yellow zone, red zone when you're angry, or blue zone, you're sad.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_02: Here's the hard part: don't react.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_02: So whenever I get those contentious emails, I was like, mm-mm, I'm on the red zone, I'm gonna wait until tomorrow and sleep on it.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_02: You wanna wait until you're regulated.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_02: But I get it.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes you have to make hard decisions.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I have an elected official who's a client, and I was like, you we had a session yesterday, and I was telling her, we need to make sure you're always in the green zone and calm when you're making these decisions.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_02: I understand that as an elected official, you need to make a fast decision.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_02: Feel free to tell your staff, I need a minute, and that actually has your staff and team respect you.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_02: I even do this in my personal life.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_02: Like with my poor my partner, like he the common challenge we have is what are we eating for dinner?
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_02: But then I just made 30,000 decisions for the whole day.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_02: I don't have capacity thing about dinner, so I will tell him, I need five minutes.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_02: Or even today, he was like, What do you think we should have for dinner?
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, I just did three presentations, I'm gonna delegate this decision to you.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_02: But here, I know that's so small, but here's what I want to share.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_02: I shared context.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_02: I could have easily said, I don't know, but I shared context, I just don't have capacity to do it.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_02: So that small example, how can you do it at work as well?
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_02: So when you have a direct report coming to you, um, I need this, this, and this, like, hey, I hear that you need this.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_02: I have some meetings, let's connect at 4 p.m.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_02: I grew, I was able to move very fast in my career because I was reactive and I problem solved really fast.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_02: And I learned to get to the next level.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_02: I had to be discerning and be okay not answering and being reactive all the time.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_02: And that was a hard unlearning for me.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_02: I see a lot of you nodding your heads, especially as women, but I've had to learn to pause.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_02: So I slept over at my parents' house because the talk with a SoCal woman Amazon was in Ontario and I live in Chatsworth.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_02: That could take two or three hours, and I'm just not gonna deal with that.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_02: So I slept over there, and my mom, um, typical immigrant mom, she's like, Oh, like, do you want food?
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I could pack all this stuff, and I just was drained from a whole day.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_02: Old me would have been like, mom, I don't need this, and then I'm like, hold on, she has good intention.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_02: And I just said, Mom, I know you have good intention, but I just really want to go home right now.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_02: And that like kind of backed her off.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, Oh.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it was the truth.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like she did have good intention.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_02: So, in that similar situation, personally, where can we do that at work as well?
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_02: You know, sometimes I know we get contentious where it's like someone has this idea, it's your idea, egos get involved, but there's this goal for work.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_02: It's like, hey, I know you have good intention to do this, but I have seen these challenges one, two, and three.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_02: So to move forward, I'm thinking we do DEF.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_02: What are your thoughts?
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_02: Taking ego and putting conversation in it.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like in the past years, I was in the Philippines, which is where my family is from, and I was in El Nido, which is this beautiful island, and um I had this like old grandma give me a massage.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_02: It was like normal massage, by the way.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_02: I just cried.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_02: I cried because it was just so I don't know if you've ever ever had those moments.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't have to be a massage because they were just so present and it was so calming.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_02: And we live in a society where it's like you shouldn't feel bad.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_02: So, like, let's go on social media drug, or you know, let me go like binge and do this eating or watching something, but there's a beauty of actually being in that present moment because that allows us to just be conscious of okay, where am I at right now?
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_02: And sometimes when we're feeling uncomfortable, we also know I don't need to make a decision about this right now.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_02: Or I don't need to make a decision about this at all.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_02: Like my mom was telling me about a family member, and like as oldest daughter syndrome, like I need to go fix.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, wait, this is not my problem.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_02: I see a lot of women nodding.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_02: All right, I want to talk about nonverbal cues.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm putting the crossing of the arms here, and I love teaching the evolution of it.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_02: So back when we were cave women, when you would the reason why when we see someone like this and it feels defensive as opposed to walking or talking like this, is because back in the day, if you had this, you would have a rock or a weapon.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_02: Which is why biologically, when you see someone moving their hands, it actually builds stress.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_02: Kind of think about it in social media.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_02: Do you notice anyone when they're being when they're presenting and they're talking like this, it just doesn't resonate with you as opposed to walking, like they're moving their arms.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_02: So moving your arms when you're speaking, for some of you who even do not not just even having a business, but those Zoom calls, team calls, moving your hands actually creates more trust with folks as well.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_02: You could go dance too.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_02: I don't care.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_02: So assertive voice.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_02: There's always this mix of like the submissive voice and then aggressive voice, but finding the assertive voice and just really there, just being present.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna move this up.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_02: So who wants more money wants to get a razor promotion?
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_02: I think so often we want to like open the door, walk in, and it's like, do you know how much I do?
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_02: I deserve a raise.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_02: Hold up, let's like take it a step back.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_02: But first step is I call it a brack sheet or corporate terms value added memo, track everything you do.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_02: So I tell people create an ugly Google or Word doc of everything that you've done.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_02: Add metrics, and this is the hard part, do this weekly as well.
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_02: And then print out the job description and showcase what you have also done beyond the job description.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_02: So this should be like your superhero cape, your memo that you're presenting to your supervisor.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_02: Then you talk to your supervisor and you're not asking for a raise yet, you're actually letting them know I am interested in one.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_02: So, hey, I have goals to be a VP, a director.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_02: I have accomplished this.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_02: Show them the document of everything you've done.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_02: Because sometimes when it's verbal, sometimes they get caught off guard.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_02: That's fine, but you actually did your research.
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_02: I have accomplished this.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_02: What do I need to do to get here?
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_02: Also, because I was talking to some Amazon folks, but what if there's budget cuts?
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_02: Have the conversation so you're prepared for it in the future.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_02: Have the conversation right now.
• 38:33
  SPEAKER_02: Like, okay, I understand that this is happening.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_02: What do what can I do that's in my control?
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_02: In addition to this, people forget this.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_02: When it comes to moving up, it's not just technical.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_02: When you're moving up, it's more about people and politics.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_02: So be real, take out the emotions, write a list of who are your allies that could support you, and then write a list of people that you don't have the best relationship with.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_02: So I have another client, she is not here, but she has a wonderful C-suite direct, and she's moving to another C-suite position.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_02: And she's a woman of color.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_02: And thankfully, her boss is like, hey, I want you to take my decision when I move.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_02: But then she did this homework, she made this list, and she's like, The decision makers though, they're not gonna want me.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I already know.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_02: And so, what was great is her direct boss spoke to her CEO and she's like, fix this.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_02: So I share this because it's not just doing all this, but it's also who is on your side, and also being mindful of what relationships do you need to work with.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm gonna be real with you.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe you don't have that influence, and that's a decision you could make where you're like, I need to go elsewhere as well.
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_02: Going back to what's in your control versus out of your control, and then observe.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_02: So when I worked at Passity City College, my incredible boss, Bobby Abram, great ally executive director.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_02: Have you ever been at those board meetings or meetings where how the hell did she survive that meeting?
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_02: Because everyone was against her?
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but she made sense.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yet after the meeting, everyone respected her.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_02: What did she do?
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_02: Has anyone been in those meetings?
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's I was like, what magical fortress did she do?
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_02: And she's like, well, first off, he lean therapy, number one, but two, it was that calm demeanor and her ability to actually ask questions and mirror things as well.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_02: So perspectives and priorities.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_02: How many of you love the Dodgers?
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_02: How many of you hate the Dodgers?
• 40:50
  unknown: Woo!
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_02: If you watch baseball, they have a cap, right?
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_02: And then from the cap, they have like, okay, so this person that's coming up, I'm gonna move up this way because they're gonna hit a certain way.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_02: Similar to people that you work with, having a dashboard of the people you work with, understanding their goals, communication style, who they work well with, how to improve your relationship with them, and what topics should you avoid or not.
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_02: We do this all the time at sales.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_02: Why don't we do this with our team members?
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_02: For those of you that have a business, I would also recommend do you also create a spreadsheet, not just how much money you're making from them, but where are the common goals and words they use, what are the common challenges they use as well.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_02: So, for example, when I the reason why people want to work with me is they're like, you're very interactive.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, okay, how do I showcase that onto my website?
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_02: I can't do just the perfect pictures, but I want to make sure there's interaction.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_02: What else?
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_02: Why are people wanting to work with me?
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_02: I have results, so I need to fork fork, like show that as well.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_02: For those of you who have that a full-time job, how are you showcasing that as in link into LinkedIn as well?
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_02: Because you never know if a recruiter is gonna slide into your DMs and constantly updating that.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_02: So having a difficult conversation, look at the dashboard and prepare.
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_02: Like, why is this so much work when you're having this conversation?
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_02: I a book I recommend if you haven't followed him, his name is Jefferson Fisher.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_02: He wrote the book, The Next Conversation.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_02: He's a trial lawyer, and so these small little trials, they're usually against family members to sisters and on, and he always prepares his clients.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_02: What do you know your sister's gonna say that's gonna trigger the hell out of you?
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_02: I know that's a worst case scenario, but also at meetings, how can you prepare for those conversations as well?
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_02: So if you have challenges right now, create a memo.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_02: Um I'm gonna keep going.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_02: But I want to know any scripts or tips that you do when problems and stress happen when you're having difficult conversations?
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_02: Because I want to make sure we're learning from one another.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_02: Anyone want to share?
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_04: One thing that that I tend to do because it's work for me.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_04: Everything comes out of the human mind.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_04: The mind has the ability to solve any problem.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_04: But at first has to wait until you calm down so we can do what it needs to do.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_04: So that's what I would recommend.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_04: The world has stepped away from everything.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_04: Instead, we're following the follower, and the leader doesn't know what they're going.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_04: But if you take time to actually think and ask yourself again, the mind can solve any problem.
• 43:45
  SPEAKER_04: But you can't do it.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_04: If you're all upset and you're trying to do it your way, calm down.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_04: Ask yourself some internal questions, the mindset.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_02: The green sound.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_02: I saw a hand here.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_02: No?
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna keep going.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_02: When it comes to conversations, prepare.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_02: Like I said earlier, keep a diary and track weekly what conversations have happened, what's worked, what's didn't.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_02: The shift to coming a leader, like I said, comes from doing to thinking.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_02: So I heard a lot of burnout, and this is hard to do.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_02: But this is called the decide method.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_02: Discern is this a priority or not?
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_02: You don't need to decide right now.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_02: Delegate, does this have to be you?
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_02: Do maybe you do it.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_02: Delete, is this necessary?
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_02: Or delay?
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_02: Can you this way?
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_02: And then discuss, ask for feedback from your boss or whoever you need to.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I was talking to a client yesterday and she had this big decision she needed to make.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_02: And I asked her, What's keeping you from making a decision?
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_02: It's like, I'm just not calm.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_02: Like, do you need more information?
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I do.
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_02: Where do I start?
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, well, who do you need to talk to?
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_02: Who are the decision makers here?
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_02: Who's influential?
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_02: So even asking yourself if you're kind of stuck, what are questions I need to ask myself as well?
• 45:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um, for those of you at work, if you're feeling overwhelmed, you don't need to keep it all together.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_02: I know for us women, it's like we can, but we can ask, hey, I'm feeling overwhelmed, here's what I'm working on, and I have a capacity to do this.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_02: What can I delay or delegate?
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_02: Create allies in your organization to ask for support.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_02: And this is questions you could ask from your team to check in.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what works well for you?
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_02: What are you working on?
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_02: Are you disconnected from work?
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_02: And this is Ross from Friends, but like I was saying earlier, so often it's like when you have a team member or even a family member, why did you do it this way?
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_02: A better calming question is can you help me understand what made you decide this?
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_02: It's just the thought process of it, or even as a leader and you have direct reports and you're frustrated because they're just not getting the work done.
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, I want to share with you the thought process I had to finish this project.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_02: And then afterwards, ask them, like, what did you learn from this as well?
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just thinking about like my parents telling me, and it's been great with my relationship with them where they're like, Oh, this is like because I'm learning more Filipino traditional dishes.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um, how many of you have learned like traditional dishes from your family?
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_02: So I always ask questions like, Why do you put it this first after this?
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_02: So it's been great, even problem solving that way.
• 46:32
  SPEAKER_02: And then conscious conversations include being present.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_02: An example is me right now, having the two amazing women coming on stage, feeling out the energy of the room.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_02: Am I gonna be up here and lecturing and talking to them?
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_02: Or how can we make this into a community like a kitchen?
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_02: And for those of you that know, for comedians that have Netflix specials, they test out their material at comedy clubs.
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_02: And they don't just watch videos of themselves on stage, they have a video projecting back of their audience.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_02: So sometimes we see things that change in their jokes and their set.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_02: And then after you do a project or have a conversation, you pause, you debrief.
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm bringing Beyonce here because she's the queen bee.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_02: This was um when every single concert she has, for those of you that ever go to her concerts, she changes it each time too, because she looks at the performance that she's doing in the audience reaction and different sections as well.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_02: So you're like, Elaine, but I'm not Beyoncé, I'm not like a comedian.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_02: But how can you do that also in your personal life?
• 47:44
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe you have this irritating relationship with a family member.
• 47:49
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe you have this difficult conversation that you have to deal with at work or a project.
• 47:53
  SPEAKER_02: Think about how you could debrief and pause just like an athlete of what things you can edit.
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_02: And you could get the slides here, but let's see.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, we got 10 minutes.
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_02: But I want to go around the room and actually, if you could yell out one word, where are you getting from this current session?
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_02: Just yell out a word that's coming to mind.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_02: Anyone want to share?
• 48:17
  unknown: Knowledge.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_02: Knowledge, change, communication.
• 48:23
  SPEAKER_02: Who are who's starting a nonprofit or business?
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_02: Raise your hand.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna give you quick tips right now because I'm a former fundraiser.
• 48:31
  SPEAKER_02: Um, here's how I started how here's how I raised$11 million, and here's how I started my business.
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna take notes.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_04: 11 million, you say it.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, 11 million.
• 48:46
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, do you do you know what the word Rolodex is?
• 48:50
  unknown: Yes.
• 48:51
  SPEAKER_02: All right.
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_02: What's your tip favorite type of music?
• 48:54
  SPEAKER_02: Anyone?
• 48:54
  SPEAKER_02: Anyone wanna share their favorite type of music right now?
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_02: Whatever mood you're in, okay.
• 49:01
  SPEAKER_02: You pull up that old Rolodex, or maybe it's all on your phone now, you know, Gmail, social media, whatever it is, A through Z, and you want to look for two groups of people.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_02: One, who are people that are possible clients or donors, and two, the person that knows everybody.
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_02: Like the president of the Chamber of Commerce, your cousin that just knows everybody, whatever it is, right?
• 49:24
  SPEAKER_02: That list of people.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_02: Afterwards, um, you're gonna send them a little message or email, hey, I want to do this, I want to create this product or service, I want to get your feedback because you always come to me for advice or just whatever it is.
• 49:39
  SPEAKER_02: We're doing like a quick 10 to 20 minute phone call.
• 49:42
  SPEAKER_02: This does not have to be Zoom, this does not have to be Teams.
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_02: Here's what's very frustrating for me.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_02: So often it's like, well, I could just Google this, I could AI this.
• 49:52
  SPEAKER_02: Who buys the product or service?
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_02: Human beings, not AI, not Google.
• 49:59
  SPEAKER_02: Sure, you could ask, like, okay, I work with women of color.
• 50:02
  SPEAKER_02: Google and AI still doesn't know what that means.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_02: Like, go talk to your community.
• 50:06
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I always give the example, because I mean, I grew up in LA, so I know where my local like tamale person is.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_02: You probably and then you know what I mean?
• 50:18
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I also have this friend that has the best cheesecake.
• 50:21
  SPEAKER_02: That's not on Google or y'all.
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_02: That's because everybody knows to go to that person for cheesecake.
• 50:26
  SPEAKER_02: So having these conversations and being curious.
• 50:29
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, I'm curious.
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_02: If I do these services, what are your thoughts?
• 50:33
  SPEAKER_02: What are your challenges when it comes to this?
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_02: What are your goals?
• 50:36
  SPEAKER_02: Collect the exact words they're using.
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_02: So often we think, yes, we're the experts, but you're not the buyer.
• 50:43
  unknown: Right.
• 50:44
  SPEAKER_02: That is not the same.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_02: So collecting those words and be unattached to the result because that ends up possibly being a client.
• 50:52
  SPEAKER_02: And that's how I got a client.
• 50:53
  SPEAKER_02: I got a client from doing this conversation from a conference I'm at, and then my second client came from my middle school friend who introduced me to her other friend.
• 51:02
  SPEAKER_02: That you're coming from a place of curiosity.
• 51:05
  SPEAKER_02: And then builds up.
• 51:07
  SPEAKER_02: Then when you hear the words, when you're hearing the problems, people are saying, then how do I update my website?
• 51:11
  SPEAKER_02: How do I update my social media?
• 51:13
  SPEAKER_02: Then you're speaking the words and language, and then people come to you.
• 51:18
  SPEAKER_02: Like, Natasha, I see you on the phone, so don't get the phone right now.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_02: But like Natasha, for example, I'm when she reached out to me, you're like, you're exactly who we're looking for.
• 51:27
  SPEAKER_02: That's because I created my website in a way where people come to me.
• 51:31
  SPEAKER_02: I do not chase people.
• 51:32
  unknown: Come on.
• 51:37
  SPEAKER_02: So you're gonna be up here.
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_04: I love it.
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_02: Anyone else?
• 51:40
  SPEAKER_02: Questions?
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_02: Not just for me, but for the room.
• 51:43
  SPEAKER_03: How to make sure everyone gets lunch?
• 51:45
  SPEAKER_02: How to make sure everyone gets lunch?
• 51:48
  SPEAKER_02: Are we gonna have lunch right on time?
• 51:49
  unknown: I think so.
• 51:50
  unknown: I think we might get it.
• 51:52
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, well, that's that's not my role today.
• 51:54
  SPEAKER_02: Are you doing your job today, Natasha, with people getting hungry?
• 51:57
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 52:01
  SPEAKER_02: See, see how she gave me feedback when I called her out or called her in?
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_02: She was like, I was focused on lunch.
• 52:08
  SPEAKER_02: We had a very difficult conversation just right now.
• 52:11
  SPEAKER_02: And I still respect Natasha.
• 52:14
  SPEAKER_02: I love this.
• 52:15
  SPEAKER_02: I am a fundraiser because Follow is clean, it's not just the initial conversation.
• 52:20
  SPEAKER_02: Um connect with a person, obviously.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_02: Take notes.
• 52:25
  SPEAKER_02: There's um on Amazon I have it.
• 52:28
  SPEAKER_02: I actually have it in my bag, but there's it's a it's a business card holder, but you could take notes from it because you know how I get all these business cards, and then it's just in your person, you just don't even know.
• 52:39
  SPEAKER_02: I'll show you the book in a bit.
• 52:41
  SPEAKER_02: But take notes, like anything specific.
• 52:43
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, we both are from Long Beach.
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_02: And then even ask, hey, what do you need right now?
• 52:47
  SPEAKER_02: What's what support do you need?
• 52:49
  SPEAKER_02: But not only do I get the card, I also connect with them on social media as well.
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_02: Whether it's Instagram or LinkedIn.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_02: And right on the spot, when I'm with them, it's like, hey, woman, like with the brown scarf, like it was so great connecting and talking about A, B, and C.
• 53:06
  SPEAKER_02: You put in the direct message.
• 53:07
  SPEAKER_02: You're like, hey, I'm just sending this message so I remember.
• 53:10
  SPEAKER_02: Because the reality is you're not gonna remember.
• 53:12
  SPEAKER_02: It's I mean, yes, I'm an extrovert.
• 53:15
  SPEAKER_02: Um, for anyone into human design, I'm a projector, but this is a lot of energy, so I'm not gonna remember, so that's why I need to do a direct message after.
• 53:23
  SPEAKER_02: And then afterwards, prioritize who you want to connect with.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_02: There's some people who are like really great vibes, that's completely okay.
• 53:29
  SPEAKER_02: But there's some that's like this could be potential client, this could be potential lead, follow them with them right away.
• 53:36
  SPEAKER_02: Um, there's specific tactics if you want to follow up in terms of specific time and date.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_02: When you send a message to follow up, you want to do it right before they start work.
• 53:45
  SPEAKER_02: So if they start work at nine, send a message at 8 45.
• 53:48
  SPEAKER_02: It's in the beginning of the day.
• 53:50
  SPEAKER_02: Because what happens when you send a message at the end of the day?
• 53:54
  SPEAKER_02: They're busy, they're putting out fires.
• 53:56
  SPEAKER_02: Also, when you send a message like, hey, it was so great connecting, love the lunch that Natasha prepared for us right now.
• 54:04
  SPEAKER_02: Are you?
• 54:04
  SPEAKER_02: I would love to connect about A, B, and C, reminding them what both of you talked about.
• 54:09
  SPEAKER_02: Are you free Monday, one to three, or Tuesday, four to six?
• 54:12
  SPEAKER_02: I did not give an option to say no.
• 54:14
  SPEAKER_02: I gave them two options to meet with me.
• 54:17
  SPEAKER_02: This is like my fundraising hat right now.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_02: Did that answer your question?
• 54:23
  unknown: Yes.
• 54:23
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, but also no, it's not just one touch, it's five to seven.
• 54:27
  unknown: Absolutely.
• 54:28
  SPEAKER_02: But also, you don't want to be aggressive.
• 54:30
  SPEAKER_02: So, like you feel it out two weeks, four weeks, and sometimes I'm just real with them.
• 54:36
  SPEAKER_02: After like the third touch, hey, are you interested?
• 54:39
  SPEAKER_02: Like, like, I just want to honor your time.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_02: Like, did you want to connect or not?
• 54:44
  SPEAKER_02: And if you don't, that's completely okay.
• 54:46
  SPEAKER_02: I just want to honor your time as well.
• 54:48
  SPEAKER_02: So I want to go back to the room, and because what I always like telling people, I don't want to just be here for motivation, inspiration.
• 54:56
  SPEAKER_02: I want to make sure there's action after.
• 54:59
  SPEAKER_02: Because then what was the point of having me up here?
• 55:03
  SPEAKER_02: I want to make sure that there's things that happen.
• 55:05
  SPEAKER_02: And that action could also be pause.
• 55:08
  SPEAKER_02: What do you want to manifest after this?
• 55:10
  SPEAKER_02: Go ahead, Anita.
• 55:12
  SPEAKER_04: Uh yes, uh, what I'm going to manifest is I'm starting a consulting business because I think that society I'm only gearing towards um people that are high achievers.
• 55:32
  SPEAKER_04: And I think that the world for high achievers like a 25, 30-year-old world.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_04: Because first of all, I'm bringing 30 years of sales experience to the table.
• 55:45
  SPEAKER_04: Published author, so my superpowers are storytelling.
• 55:50
  SPEAKER_04: And so I am looking for the person, the mega companies that are willing to come in with me initially to get this thing kicked off.
• 55:59
  SPEAKER_04: And then it's an evergreen business after that.
• 56:02
  SPEAKER_04: So, as I mentioned, I'm in a network to talk to you all.
• 56:06
  SPEAKER_04: My first two principles are TTP, talk to people.
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_04: And then my second principal is TTMP, talk to more people.
• 56:17
  SPEAKER_04: And all of these people, I will be asking this specific question.
• 56:22
  SPEAKER_04: My name is Annetta Daniel.
• 56:23
  SPEAKER_04: I'm about to become a world-renowned motivational speaker.
• 56:26
  SPEAKER_04: Do you know anyone that may need my service?
• 56:30
  SPEAKER_04: That's me.
• 56:31
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you, Anita.
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_02: Natasha, where are we at?
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_02: Food.
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_03: Well, we got Marlene next, and then food.
• 56:39
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay.
• 56:40
  SPEAKER_02: Alright, I'm gonna give room for can I do room for one more person to manifest?
• 56:43
  SPEAKER_02: Is that okay?
• 56:44
  SPEAKER_02: Anyone else?
• 56:45
  unknown: Yes, yes.
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_02: Alright, I forgot to say anything.
• 56:48
  SPEAKER_02: That's fine.
• 56:48
  SPEAKER_02: Also, no judgment.
• 56:50
  SPEAKER_02: Like, write it down then for yourself.
• 56:52
  SPEAKER_02: You don't have to necessarily say it out loud.
• 56:55
  SPEAKER_02: Write it down.
• 56:56
  SPEAKER_02: I'm okay.
• 56:57
  SPEAKER_02: I'm doing that.
• 56:57
  SPEAKER_02: You need to write it down.
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you, mom, for teaching that to me.
• 57:01
  SPEAKER_04: Tell them why writing it down is important.
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_02: I forgot what part of the brain.
• 57:07
  SPEAKER_02: Um, there is actually part of the brain, but do you notice that when you are driving in the freeway?
• 57:14
  SPEAKER_02: For for any of you that have like a dream car, do you notice your dream car more often?
• 57:18
  unknown: Yeah.
• 57:19
  SPEAKER_02: It's actually, oh, the amygdala.
• 57:21
  SPEAKER_02: The amygdala.
• 57:22
  SPEAKER_02: So there is actually science behind this.
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_02: So when you're driving, you notice like your favorite car, it's because of your amygdala.
• 57:29
  SPEAKER_02: So if you write down your goal, then everything you do day to day, even if you're showering, you're thinking of ideas, your brain, your amygdala will remind you of oh, this will actually help me towards this goal.
• 57:42
  SPEAKER_04: Connects to the cerebral cortex.
• 57:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, amygdala and cerebral cortex.
• 57:46
  SPEAKER_02: So thank you, Anita.
• 57:48
  SPEAKER_02: And then thank you, everyone.
• 57:49
  SPEAKER_02: I'll be here all day, but just want to connect.
• 57:52
  SPEAKER_02: So thank you.
• 57:53
  SPEAKER_02: Marlene, you're up.
• 58:11
  SPEAKER_01: And what I want to make sure that does not happen, I don't want you to feel overloaded.
• 58:16
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to think of one thing to do in this episode.
• 58:20
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's writing down a goal so your amygdala knows how to find it and it just is able to sort out through things where you're one step closer to your goal.
• 58:31
  SPEAKER_01: Or second, it's taking a walk without your phone so that you're really mindful before you have a hard conversation, before you make a hard decision.
• 58:43
  SPEAKER_01: Very similar to what I shared earlier about when people are about to have a difficult conversation like war, they walk through the Japanese garden.
• 58:52
  SPEAKER_01: Or maybe it's starting to draft a value brag sheet memo before you want to ask for a raise.
• 59:00
  SPEAKER_01: Or maybe it's something else that you heard in this episode.
• 59:04
  SPEAKER_01: And if you enjoyed this episode, I would love for you to do one of two things, or maybe both, because you want to do extra credit.
• 59:11
  SPEAKER_01: One is leave a rating and review.
• 59:14
  SPEAKER_01: It lets other incredible leaders find this podcast episode.
• 59:18
  SPEAKER_01: We create this podcast to create an accessible resource for all.
• 59:22
  SPEAKER_01: Second, share this with a friend or two.
• 59:25
  SPEAKER_01: Send them a little message on why they should probably listen to this podcast and how it's going to help them.
• 59:31
  SPEAKER_01: And if you're wanting more as a leader, executive, and you're curious about working with me, then schedule an introductory call at elanelew.com forward slash call.
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_01: That's E-L A I N E L O U.com forward slash call.
• 59:50
  SPEAKER_01: And we'll work on figuring out three action items towards your goals and your challenges by the end of the call.
• 59:57
  SPEAKER_01: If it's a great fit to work together, great.
• 59:59
  SPEAKER_01: I'll share with you how it may look like to move forward and work together.
• 1:00:01
  SPEAKER_01: If it's not a great fit, great.
• 1:00:03
  SPEAKER_01: I'll refer you to other people and resources.
• 1:00:05
  SPEAKER_01: So either way, it's a win win situation for you.
• 1:00:08
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you for listening, and I'll catch you next time.
• 1:00:11
  SPEAKER_01: Bye.