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Voddie Baucham - (Biblical Family): Biblical Womanhood - Part 2 · Voddie Baucham Sermons

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Look for a woman who teaches what is good. Why
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: because she is going to be the primary instructor of
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: your children. You're talking to my sons right now. I
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: tell you. A woman who is not committed to the
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: education of our children in our home I can't even
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: consider as a wife. People ask me all the time,
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: your kids resent being homeschooled? Do they resent it? You know?
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: One of the ways we used to threaten them, you
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: won't get your act right, sign you up and send
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: you to school. Teddy, teddy, teddy flee. They're committed, They're
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: absolutely committed to this hands on education and discipleship of
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: their children. Are not interested in a woman who is
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: not absolutely committed to that hands on education and discipleship
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: of their children. Not absolutely committed to that. Now we'll
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  Speaker 1: get to that more in a minute. But because of this,
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  Speaker 1: she has to teach what is good. She has to
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  Speaker 1: be able to give instruction in what is good. Otherwise
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  Speaker 1: the time that he is off toiling in the land
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: as he's commanded by God will be timed that she
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: is there undermining what it is that he's trying to
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  Speaker 1: build into the next generation, or they will be passed
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  Speaker 1: off for somebody else to undermine what it is that
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: he's trying to build into the next generation. So she
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: must be committed to teaching what is good. Look at
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  Speaker 1: the next part of this, and so train the young
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  Speaker 1: women too. Now we've seen this in the character of
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: the older women. And again we have to put both
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  Speaker 1: of these together to get this titus to a picture
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  Speaker 1: of biblical womanhood. Because the older women are to be
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  Speaker 1: something and they're also to teach something. So we get
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  Speaker 1: a picture when you put those two things together of
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  Speaker 1: a more full orbed understanding of biblical woman It is
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  Speaker 1: so what are they to instruct the young women in?
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  Speaker 1: And by the way, this guidance that they are to
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  Speaker 1: give the young women. The word here is not for
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  Speaker 1: the kind of instruction that we have for indoctrination. The
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  Speaker 1: word here is for gently bringing people along and guarding
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  Speaker 1: them from other tendencies. That's the goal here, that's the
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: word that's used here. Gently bring these women along, direct them,
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  Speaker 1: disciple them, because their tendency is going to be to
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: move in a direction other than what I'm about to say.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: Look at this. Teach the young women to love their
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  Speaker 1: husbands and children. And here's what's interesting. We hear that,
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: and we go, okay, time out, teach them to love
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: their husbands and children. Now, women are these intuitive emotional creatures.
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  Speaker 1: Why should we need to teach women to love their
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  Speaker 1: husbands and teach women to love their children. If they
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  Speaker 1: are these intuitive emotional creatures, they're the loving ones. Are
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: they not? Depends on how you define love. The idea
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  Speaker 1: that we say they're the loving ones because they're intuitive
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  Speaker 1: and emotional creatures basically gives away the fact that we
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  Speaker 1: don't understand what biblical love is. We've bought into the
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  Speaker 1: Greco Roman myth. Now here's the Greco Roman myth. The
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: Greco Roman myth says that love is an you know, overwhelming,
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  Speaker 1: uncontrollable sensual force, a random, overwhelming, uncontrollable sensual force. We
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  Speaker 1: believe love is all right. First of all, love is random.
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  Speaker 1: By the way, what is the basic illustration in our
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  Speaker 1: culture of love? Cupid? Cupid's arrow. That's love. Okay, By
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  Speaker 1: the way, we have this idea of the heart drawn,
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  Speaker 1: but that's an incomplete picture. It's the heart with the
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  Speaker 1: arrow through it. That's the way we define love in
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  Speaker 1: our culture. What's the heart with the arrow through it?
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  Speaker 1: That's Cupid? It's Cupid's arrow. That's the way we've defined
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  Speaker 1: love in our culture. And so it's a random force.
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  Speaker 1: We don't know when we'll be struck with this force.
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  Speaker 1: It's random. We don't choose who we fall in love with.
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  Speaker 1: That's one of the phrases that we use in our culture.
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  Speaker 1: Why because we believe that love is a random force.
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  Speaker 1: We don't choose who we fall in love with. Love
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  Speaker 1: is a random force. It's also an overwhelming and uncontrollable force.
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  Speaker 1: How do we state that this thing is bigger than
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  Speaker 1: both of us? Don't act like you never heard about
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  Speaker 1: say that. We do say stuff like that. We don't
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  Speaker 1: choose who we fall in love with. This thing is
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  Speaker 1: bigger than both of us. And my favorite, the heart
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  Speaker 1: wants put it once. I have more degrees than a thermometer.
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  Speaker 1: I don't know what that means. So love is a random, overwhelming,
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  Speaker 1: uncontrollable and it's a sensual force. Okay, it's a sensual force.
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  Speaker 1: So that's what we believe love is. Small problem, that's
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  Speaker 1: not the way the Bible defines love. It's not random,
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  Speaker 1: it not uncontrollable and overwhelming. It's not just sensual. And
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  Speaker 1: by the way, because we believe that about love. Let
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  Speaker 1: me give you a couple of examples. All right, let
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  Speaker 1: me give you two examples of why that's faulty thing.
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  Speaker 1: And it's two examples that we've all experienced and we've
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  Speaker 1: all heard before, because this definition of love doesn't work.
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  Speaker 1: Here's example number one. A woman's pregnant with child number two.
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  Speaker 1: While she's pregnant with child number two, she's worried. Why
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  Speaker 1: is she worried? Well, I love that my first baby
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  Speaker 1: so much, and whatever, how am I going to be
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  Speaker 1: able to love this baby and love that baby? And well,
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  Speaker 1: I love one of them more than I love the one.
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  Speaker 1: Why is mom worried about her ability to love child
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  Speaker 1: number two? Because she thinks love is a random, overwhelming,
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  Speaker 1: uncontrollable sensual force. And what if Cupid is busy when
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  Speaker 1: baby number two is born. That's why we have such
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  Speaker 1: a hard time with this idea of the sovereignty of
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  Speaker 1: God and salvation and God loving us, because we think
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  Speaker 1: that love is this random, uncontrollable, overwhelming, sensual f So
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  Speaker 1: how is it that a sovereign God shows us this random, overwhelming,
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  Speaker 1: uncontrollable sensual love when the fact of the matter is
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  Speaker 1: he worked this thing out according to the counsel of
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  Speaker 1: his own will, because will and love don't go together,
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  Speaker 1: right if you have a faulty, godless definition of love.
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  Speaker 1: Example number two. We have four children. Two of our
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  Speaker 1: children were adopted, A three year old and our eight
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  Speaker 1: month old were adopted, and we're in the process of
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  Speaker 1: our next adoption. Even as we speak, we're working on
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  Speaker 1: our next adoption. And so we get this question all
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: we get. You know, all the time people want to
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: ask us this about adopted children, and they go, you know,
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  Speaker 1: do you do you do you find that you love
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  Speaker 1: your adopted children as much as you love your own children?
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  Speaker 1: And I love when people try to ask us these
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  Speaker 1: questions because I just mess them up. I'm just not nice,
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  Speaker 1: and sometimes, you know, I need to be rebuked for
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  Speaker 1: the way that I deal with this. But I do
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  Speaker 1: you know you love them as much as you love
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  Speaker 1: your own children? Well, they are our own children, Well,
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  Speaker 1: you know, as much as your natural children. Well are
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  Speaker 1: you saying our adopted children are unnatural? I mean, you
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  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, as much as like your real children.
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  Speaker 1: Oh so now they're not even real. Eventually I let
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  Speaker 1: them off the hook. But you know, what I tell them,
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  Speaker 1: and I mean this with every fiber of my being.
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  Speaker 1: Oftentimes it's not until somebody asks a question like that
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  Speaker 1: that I think about the fact that our to youngest
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  Speaker 1: children are adopted. We don't think like that. It never
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  Speaker 1: enters into our mind. These are our children, period, end
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  Speaker 1: of discussion. Yes, we most assuredly and absolutely and unconditionally
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  Speaker 1: love them. We don't even think about divisions like that.
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  Speaker 1: We laugh sometimes because we'll you know, look at you know,
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  Speaker 1: one of our adopted children, and you know what, my
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  Speaker 1: wife will be saying something like, you know what, he
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  Speaker 1: got your eyes, and he's got your this and that
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  Speaker 1: and the other, and he's got and then she looks
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  Speaker 1: at me and goes, huh, adopted, wasn't he Yeah? But
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  Speaker 1: that's okay. He still, you know, looks that's wonderful, that's great.
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  Speaker 1: We don't think like that. Why do we ask questions
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  Speaker 1: like that because we don't know what love is. We
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  Speaker 1: think it's a random, overwhelming, uncontrollable, sensual force. Let me
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  Speaker 1: give you a third third example. I said I give
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  Speaker 1: you two, okay, let me give you one more. And
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  Speaker 1: this is with fathers and daughters. A lot of daughters
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  Speaker 1: dressed the way that they do because they yearned from
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  Speaker 1: male affection, because a lot of fathers, as soon as
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  Speaker 1: their daughters develop into women, become uncomfortable being affectionate toward
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  Speaker 1: them because of a wrong definition of what love is.
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  Speaker 1: We define love as sensual. Therefore love is inherently inappropriate
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  Speaker 1: between a man and his daughter of a certain age.
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  Speaker 1: Do we mean that, No, we don't mean that. But
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  Speaker 1: if you buy the definition, you also have to buy
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  Speaker 1: the limitations. And there's a lot of you girls in
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  Speaker 1: this room. And your first boyfriend coincided with dad not
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  Speaker 1: letting you sitting on his lap anymore. You yearn for
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  Speaker 1: some male to show you the kind of physical attention
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  Speaker 1: and affection that you used to get from your father,
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  Speaker 1: and you went and found it because God created you
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  Speaker 1: to yearn for it. But then the world old lied
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  Speaker 1: to your daddy and told him that he couldn't give
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  Speaker 1: you that which you needed anymore, and instead let you
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  Speaker 1: run off into the arms of some irresponsible, sinful, lustful boy.
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  Speaker 1: My daughter's seventeen years old, five point ten whatever, she
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  Speaker 1: still climbs up in my lap. I had to balance
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  Speaker 1: a little more than I used to, you know. See,
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  Speaker 1: party's the way over there and part's way up here,
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  Speaker 1: and she absolutely loves it, so do I. A lot
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  Speaker 1: of men are leaving their wives for younger women because
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  Speaker 1: they yearned for attention from younger women, and God gave
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  Speaker 1: him a daughter who could give him that, and instead
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  Speaker 1: they go find a substitute daughter. You've seen it. We've
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  Speaker 1: all seen it. These oh guys go in and find
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  Speaker 1: these substitute daughters. Why why we don't understand what love is? Folks?
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  Speaker 1: So what is love? So the second time, let me
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  Speaker 1: just give you this, okay, biblical definition of love, and
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  Speaker 1: this is derived and those of you got your family
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  Speaker 1: driven faith, you probably already looked at this that it's
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  Speaker 1: derived from Deuteronomy chapter six. You know, love the Lord
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  Speaker 1: your gal all your heart or your soul or your mind.
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  Speaker 1: You know, it's interesting you exegete those words. And by
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  Speaker 1: the way, Jesus repeats this and the New Testament Matthew
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  Speaker 1: twenty two, love is and you extget these words. Here's
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  Speaker 1: the definition that I use. Love is an act of
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  Speaker 1: the will accompanied by emotion that leads to action on
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  Speaker 1: behalf of its object. Let me say that again. Love
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  Speaker 1: is an act of the will accompanied by emotion that
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  Speaker 1: leads to action on behalf of its object. The problem
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  Speaker 1: with the Greco Roman myth of love that we operate
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  Speaker 1: from in our culture is that it is too fickle
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  Speaker 1: for family life. It won't work. Why a woman's not
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  Speaker 1: going to be overwhelmed toward her husband and her children
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  Speaker 1: all the time. And that's why what do women talk
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  Speaker 1: about all the time? I just I feel like we've
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  Speaker 1: fallen out of love with each other. Why, because the
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  Speaker 1: Greco Roman myth is wearing off. This is why young
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  Speaker 1: women have to be taught how to love biblically, not
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  Speaker 1: just culturally and emotionally, but biblically. Teach young women how
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  Speaker 1: to love biblically, not just culturally and emotionally. Teach them
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  Speaker 1: how to do this, because, contrary to popular belief, they
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  Speaker 1: don't know how to do it intuitively. This is a
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  Speaker 1: work of sanctification. And one of the problems that we
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  Speaker 1: have is women think that whatever this intuitive emotional thing
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  Speaker 1: is that women have going on is actually enough to
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  Speaker 1: sustain what God intends to be sustained. On the part
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  Speaker 1: of biblical womanhood in the context of meriage relationship, it's
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  Speaker 1: not enough. It's not enough. Biblical womanhood does not rely
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  Speaker 1: on this intuitive, emotional version of love. Biblical womanhood pushes
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  Speaker 1: past that to biblical love an act of the will
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  Speaker 1: accompanied by emotion that leads to action on behalf of
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  Speaker 1: its object. It is first and foremost and act of
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  Speaker 1: the will. It is a choice. We choose to love
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  Speaker 1: you better believe we do. We don't choose who we
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  Speaker 1: fall in love with. First of all, you fell in love,
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  Speaker 1: you already got a problem. Because anything you can fall into,
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  Speaker 1: you can climb out of. Amen. It is a choice,
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  Speaker 1: It is an act of the will. We choose to love.
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  Speaker 1: Sometimes it's more will than anything else. We have to
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: push past because we don't always feel like loving each other.
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  Speaker 1: My wife doesn't always feel like loving me. I know
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  Speaker 1: that shocks you. It's only happened like once or twice
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  Speaker 1: early in the marriage. But she didn't always feel like
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  Speaker 1: loving me. What do you do? You push past that
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  Speaker 1: you love? In spite of beautiful answer Paul gave us
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  Speaker 1: last night talking about these areas where we are not
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  Speaker 1: going to be fulfilled through our mate, because that's what
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  Speaker 1: God uses in order to teach us this unconditional love.
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  Speaker 1: It is an act of the will. It is a
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  Speaker 1: choice we do choose. I tell my wife all the time. Girl,
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  Speaker 1: you leave me, I'm going with you. It is a
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  Speaker 1: choice we choose to love. It is an actor of
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  Speaker 1: the will. It is accompanied by emotion, not led by emotion.
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  Speaker 1: But it's also not void of emotion. It is accompanied
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: by emotion. To air on the lead by emotion. Part
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  Speaker 1: Love that's led by emotion is a roller coaster. You
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: just you can't do that, you know. That's the sixteen
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: year old dating relationship right there. Love that's led by emotion,
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  Speaker 1: you go from oh my god, I love him to
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  Speaker 1: I just wish you'd never been born in ten minutes.
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  Speaker 1: It's not led by e motion. It's also not void
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: of emotion. This is where men tend to air. By
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  Speaker 1: the way, And I know we dealt with you guys yesterday,
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: but let me just put this in here, all right,
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  Speaker 1: because men, you know, I do get that from men.
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  Speaker 1: You know. Well, you know, I'm more of a stoic person,
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: and I'm more of a you know, sort of just
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: kind of a matter of fact kind of person, and
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: I'm not really an emotional person. You know what? Sell
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: that somewhere else? You know why? Because here's what I know.
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: If you're on the golf course and you shank one,
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: you don't say, oh, I seem to have hit that
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: one poorly. You're watching a ball game and your team's
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: getting beat like a tied up goat. You don't just
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: say they seem to have far more points than we
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: do at this time. You go sell that somewhere else
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  Speaker 1: about not being an emotional man. Okay, God created you
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  Speaker 1: to be emotional. We don't all show emotion in the
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: same way, but we're all emotional, and so it's an
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  Speaker 1: act of the will a company by emotion that leads
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: to action on behalf of its object. In the words
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: of that theologian Janet Jackson, what have you done for
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: me lately? Okay, love leads to action on behalf of
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  Speaker 1: its object. By the way, if you're wondering where an
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  Speaker 1: example of this kind of love exists, it's the Garden
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  Speaker 1: of geth Simony. Jesus is praying intently, sweating drops of blood, saying,
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  Speaker 1: if there's any other way, let this bitter cup pass
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  Speaker 1: from me. But he comes to a point where he says, nevertheless,
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  Speaker 1: not my will, but yours be done. What did he do?
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  Speaker 1: In the gardener, guest Simone? An act of the will.
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  Speaker 1: It was a choice, it was accompanied by emotion, and
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  Speaker 1: it led to action on behalf of its object was
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  Speaker 1: not selfish. Jesus didn't need the cross, not for his
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: own benefit. That was for his bride. Okay. And because
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: women have this natural inclination toward the intuitive, emotional version
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: of love, they have to be taught how to exhibit
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  Speaker 1: biblical womanhood, which pushes beyond that to the appropriate kind
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: of love. Okay, get the next part of this love.
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  Speaker 1: The children love their husbands and children to be self controlled,
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: to be self controlled. That goes back to what we
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: talked about with the older women being reverent. We have
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: to teach the younger women to be self controlled, not volatile,
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  Speaker 1: self controlled. Amen, hallelujah, Praise the Lord. Self controlled. Okay,
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: it's self explanatory. For the second time, I want to
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: get something, get to something. Let's move here. Pure, pure again,
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  Speaker 1: back to what we talked about with reverence. This is
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: why reverence is so important in the older women. You
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  Speaker 1: can't teach a younger woman to be self controlled and
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: pure unless you are self controlled and pure. Amen. Teach
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  Speaker 1: younger women to be self controlled and teach younger women
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  Speaker 1: to be pure. Here's what's interesting. We talk about purity,
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: and when we use that in modern American culture, what
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: we use it for is don't have section until you
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: get married. That's that's synonymous with purity. No, purity is
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: not something that you do until you get married. Purity
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: is something that we're I'm called the purity now, my
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: wife is called the purity now. Purity is not just
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: And the other thing is a lot of people think
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: purity is you just don't go all the way. There
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: are little ones in the room, so we'll just leave
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  Speaker 1: it at that. Okay, Purity means you don't go all
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  Speaker 1: the way. You do everything else up to that point.
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  Speaker 1: I sea, I didn't say everything everything beyond everything. You
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: do everything else up to that point. But as long
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: as you haven't committed the final act, you say that
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: you've still been pure. No, that's not pure. That's what
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: we talked about yesterday with courtship, and a lot of
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: you looked at me cross eide when I talked about
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: the young man going to the girl's father first, even
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: before going to her. Why purity, Because when you go
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: to that young woman first, here's what you've done. You
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  Speaker 1: have actually said to her I've chosen you, and I'm
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: going to go to your father. You have opened up
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  Speaker 1: all sorts of things for that young woman, and you
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: haven't even earned the right to pursue her. That is impure.