Latest / Jess Ask / I Think I'm Afraid of Being Famous | EP172

Transcript

I Think I'm Afraid of Being Famous | EP172 · Jess Ask

• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Yo, it's your girl Jessica S. Smith, and you already
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: know that you've.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Entered the safe space for influencers to decompress, have fun,
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: and just ask.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: If you already know what it is, then you know
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: it's about to get real. So be sure to show
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: your girls some love and like, comment, and subscribe.
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: I know we could be another way.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: It's your girl, Jessica S. Smith, and I do nothing
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: without my girl, Desiree. Ay. Desiree. Ay. Desiree. Desiree. Desiree. Desiree. Ay. Ay. Hi, Jessica.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: Hi.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: You look delightful. You're beautiful. Oh, gold all in my chain. Ay.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Gold all in my earrings. Ay. Gold all in my watch. Watch.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: Don't believe me, just watch. Watch. You got a lot
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: of gold on it, baby. Oh, I do. Yeah, those
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: are little disco earrings. Yeah. These is my Walmart specials.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: The Saints, if y'all know that song, it's okay. It's okay.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: It's okay. Just be free. I have to what? Be free. Okay? Desiree,
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: why you look so good today? I was trying to
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: match your energy because I knew you was going to
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: show up. I was like, let me show up and
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: match my sister's energy. Because I have to be a
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: little different nowadays. Because y'all say I'm famous and stuff.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: So famous people got to show up. I mean, you
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: show up just be yourself. I don't know if I
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: like that word. What, famous? Famous.
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: So what comes up when you hear that? Why is
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: it like, oh. I think popularity comes up when I
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: hear that. And I'm not. You don't think you're popular? No. No.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: People just know who I am and what I do.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: What does popular mean? In my definition, I was going
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: to say, in my definition, oh, here we go. Here
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: we go. Let's look it up. Let's see what popular means.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: I hear you, Holy Spirit. Ooh, I'm being convicted right now. Okay,
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: while I'm looking up popular, popular definition. Definition means, the
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: word popular means liked, admired, or Or supported by many people. Mm-hmm.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: Many people. So they don't put a number on many.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: Many don't mean the whole world, do it? No. Okay.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: You can see. Okay, so... Okay, let's just go there.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: Because I don't necessarily identify as a popular person. Maybe because...
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: When I was growing up, I wasn't popular. My sister
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: was popular. She's always been popular. Liked, admired, and supported
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: by many people. Now, she doesn't agree with that statement.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: If y'all know my sister, I'm not going to say
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: her name just because... Yeah, I don't know if she's
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: going to see this or not. But... She thinks because
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: I was admired and liked and promoted by my leaders,
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: that made me popular. That does not... For me, that
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: made me accessible or valued by leadership. That's different. What's
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: the definition of popular? Does it say what kind of people?
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: You gonna let me get my breakthrough or not? I'm
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: just saying. I'm just saying. So, I love... That we
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: read the definition because now we all finna break free
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: and break throughout this thing. Okay. We all getting free.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: Let's look at famous. Let's look at famous definition. This
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: is not what we're supposed to be talking about right now, y'all.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: I mean, we'll wrap it up. Maybe we'll wrap it up. Famous. Okay.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: I don't even know what else I'm talking about. Famous definition.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: What you just say? I ain't know what we're going
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: to talk about, honestly, but we here. You never know
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: what we're talking about. That's what you say. I'll put
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: it in the calendar, y'all. I'll put it in the calendar. Hey,
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: this subject comes up. Here we go. Yeah, and we'll
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: talk about it. Famous, the word famous means known and
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: recognized by many people. I don't know if that's true.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: I don't know if that's true. If what's true? I
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know. Known and recognized by many people.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: I feel like because of my accomplishments, people say that
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: I'm famous. Not because I'm known about a lot of people.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: Because it's a lot of people that don't know me. Right,
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: but it don't say how many people. Even with popular,
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: it don't say it's a certain group of people that
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: have to admire you and all the things. It just
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: says by many people. That feels so weird to be like, oh, yeah,
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: I'm famous. I mean, it's not like a gloat to say,
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: but I think the thing is, why it's coming up
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: is because you, and it's not a bad thing. Let
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: me see how I put it. I would say the
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: humbling or false humbling way of putting it is like, oh, no,
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: I don't want that like that, that recognition like that.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: But the definition of popular just says that you're known
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  Speaker 1: and recognized by many people, right? So the many people,
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: we don't say, I don't know, many I think is
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  Speaker 1: more than two. It could be ten. That's many people.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: What is the definition of many people? Now, we're going
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: to get, y'all going to get these definitions today. Many definition. Definition. Okay.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: The word many means a large number or a lot
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  Speaker 1: of people or things is used. No, I want to,
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: what is the quantity of many? Hold on. Hold on,
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: because I would like to keep with this definition. The quantity, quantity.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: Of many. Let's go with it. What is a large number? See,
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: it's based upon your thoughts. So a large number for
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: me is not 10 people. I think it's based upon
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: your thoughts or it might be the subject matter. 10 people,
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: 10 friends, 10 bridesmaids. Now that's a large party. Mm-hmm.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: That is a large party because you got to think about,
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: you know, everything that goes into a wedding. But when
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: we talk about the realm of podcasting, then speaking and influencing, many,
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  Speaker 1: many is not the number that I have. But For
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: if it's 10 people with the bridesmaids, it's the number
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: that I have. So it's really just predicated on the situation?
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: I feel like that. Y'all come on, talk to us
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: in the chat because this is not what we was
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: talking about. I think that many does depend on or
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: is predicated on the situation. Like what's going on? why
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: are we saying, you know, why are you saying I'm famous?
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: Because I'm doing a lot. I feel like that's the
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: reason why people say I'm famous. Right. So the many people,
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: I will say the quality of people, the quality of
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: people that know me, if I was, if that makes
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: me famous, my God, I'm famous. Like David Shands, Tabitha Brown, um,
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: Omar El-Takor, CJ, like these folks know who I am.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying? I can't deny that. But
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: the quantity of people. So if it was a quality
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: versus a quantity of a thing. I hear you, Holy Spirit.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: If it was a quality over a quantity of a thing,
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: I think that it would be different for me. Because
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: I will say that. I have learned to, I have adjusted.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: I've adjusted to the idea of appreciating the quantity of
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: people because of the quality. And I think that some
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: people can get stuck, which I don't know. I don't
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: know if I'm stuck anymore. Let's talk about this. Okay.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: Let's walk through this. I don't know if I'm stuck
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: anymore on the quantity. Because I know, I guess because
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: I've seen people make millions with the number of people
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: I have as followers. You know what I'm saying? The quantity,
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: I do want to see goals. One of the goals
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: we have for Just Ask is to get to 5,000
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: people online. On YouTube. But then it's not just, well,
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: that we want to get there, but I want to
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: be able to do something with it. So while we're
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: headed towards that route, we're building so we can have
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: a space where people still can come, which is the
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: safe space. Shout out to the safe space. We meet
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: every Monday. It's $ 19 a minute. Okay. Via Patreon. Patreon.com
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: forward slash just ask. But I think that what we're
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: working with, you have to have a place for some
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: people to go. So I don't care about quantity right
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: now as much as quality because the quality of people
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: have gotten me into the rooms that I wouldn't have
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: never imagined. So I know we talked about TEDx. The
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: quality of the person, Ladarius Hutcherson, is who... submitted my
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: name for that. You get what I'm saying? Then we
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: think about, you know, Tabitha Brown. You know, she's a
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: quality person. Like, she is a woman of quality. Dee Fumby,
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: woman of quality. Like, I've been in rooms because I
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: am around some great, dope people. But people knowing me
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: and really rocking with me, I struggle with it. I
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: really struggle with that. And I'm surprised every day, especially
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: those people that didn't rock with me in high school
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: and stuff like that, to now come in and say,
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I see you. Oh, do you? Oh,
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: you see me? I don't have no shade. I'm just
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: surprised because back then, they didn't want me. Now, my thing,
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: I don't want no man. And I say that humbly speaking,
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: Not saying that they on me, but they looking. And
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  Speaker 1: so that just kind of like, I don't know, it's weird.
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  Speaker 1: Because they not have been looking all the time? I
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: don't think so. Like maybe I'm wrong in it. Maybe
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: I'm wrong in believing that they weren't paying attention to
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: me or maybe they just didn't know what they saw.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: That could be very possible. That's a thing. I think sometimes,
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: and I think it's when you, how can I put it?
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: I think you'd be surprised or not who actually is watching.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: It could be people that may not ever say anything. Right.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: But sometimes they've watched the journey of you. And I
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: have noticed that, you know, and it seems like, oh,
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: they only saying something cause I'm in a certain point.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: But if it's been somebody who has been watching you progress, like,
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: oh man, I see you. I watch you. Congratulations on,
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: you know, I, I don't know that the journey has
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: fully looked like, but I know I saw you here.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: But now you're actually out here doing the thing. You famous,
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: you know? And so I, too, sometimes... Because they know Desiree, too.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: And they know Desiree well. Who is they? The people.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: The folks in Raw's. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. You can be
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: in a random store. I don't think I, I don't
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: recall getting all of that yet. I'll be in a
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: space where people probably expect me to be. Well, you
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: was in Texas. I was in Texas. And Keanu. And Keanu.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: Was like, what you doing here? She, that was definitely
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: God ordained. That was a God ordained thing. Yeah. But.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: This is interesting. How'd we get here? Because you called
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: me famous earlier. Did I? I called you famous? Yes. Oh,
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: because you... I thought it was very interesting, though, because
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: I think sometimes as you kind of broke down for you,
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: it's like the quantity versus the quality. I think it's
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: said to be liked and admired by many. So if
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: you're just showing up to the people that God has
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: called you to show up to, not saying like we're
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: doing it to be famous, but... you can be popular
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: to those people and not be the whole world, right?
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: We don't have to diminish what we are, you know,
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: thinking because we have a bigger idea of what popularity
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: or being famous or having our name known is. He
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: said he'll make our name great. You right. You right.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: I think it also ties into like the culture that
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: we have in Christianity. Like the line that we teeter with, right?
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: being a Christian influencer or Christian rapper or a faith-based,
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: popular faith-based leader. You have your Jackie Hill Perry's, you
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: have your, um, Liz Speaks, you know, you have your, um,
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: you have, um, you have LaCroix, you have all these
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: people that are popular. Um, and I think popularity also
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: has a demand to it. I think, I think it
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: comes with a higher expectation, too. It does. It definitely does.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: It's almost like you're only human to a few. Because
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: the reality of your popularity is this is how I
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: see you, so this is how I should digest you,
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: and this is the only way I can digest you.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: Not knowing that the same meat that you use meatloaf
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: is you can make a burger with. You get what
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: I'm saying? Just a few different ingredients. It's just a
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: few different ingredients. Same meat you can make meatloaf with
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: is the same meat you can use to put on
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: that grill, okay? So I think also I've heard Coach
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: D say this about, like, the word talks about us,
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: you know, being famous. Like, it's pleasing to God for
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: us to be famous. And I was like, man, I've
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: never seen that scripture, but it's some scriptures. I said,
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: I did Google. This is how you can, you know...
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: Try to search for stuff. Google is a great tool.
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: It's not just for, you know, the world, if y'all
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: didn't know that. But it is for the word. It's
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: a tool. Oh, it's a tool. Hallelujah. All right. So
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: I'm just going to throw out some scriptures. All right.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: And tell me what hits your chandelier. Genesis 12, 2.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: God tells Abraham, I will make you into a great
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: nation and I will bless you. I will make your
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: name great and you will be a blessing. 2 Samuel 3. 8.13,
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: the text notes that David became famous and made a
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: great name for himself after the Lord gave him victory
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: over the enemy of his enemies of the Valley of
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: the Salt. Psalms 45.17 says, I will make your name
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: famous from now on. So people will praise you forever
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: and ever. This is also translated in versions as making
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: your name slash memory celebrated. Zephaniah, which I've never, Zephaniah,
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: I need to look that up. 320 says, I like this.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: At that time, I will gather you. At that time,
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: I will bring you home. Indeed, I will give you
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: a good reputation and praise among all the peoples of
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: the earth. Isaiah 61, 9 says, they will be famous
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: among the nations. Everyone who sees them will know that
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: they are a people whom the Lord has blessed. So
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: all them scriptures talk about fame, but it's only after
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: the Lord has done the work. And I think that
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: there's a process to fame. That's why I don't think
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: I'm Probably I don't think I'm famous either because I
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: still feel like I'm being processed. I think you're going
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: to be processed until you're not here no more. Well,
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: of course, Desiree. Yeah. I'm going to be processed until
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: I die. Mm-hmm. Okay? However ends. Yes, ma'am. I am
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: talking about, okay, because I use Miss Tab as an
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: example because I'm very familiar with her story. She said
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: it so much and I listened to it in different angles.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: And one of the things, even with us, when we
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: did the 100th episode, she brought up the fact that
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: she did those lives. She did those, she worked for UPS. She,
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: you know, she went through all these things and that
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: was her being processed to the point where an overnight
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: thing happened. She was processed so she was ready. You
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: get what I'm saying? And so I guess in my mind,
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: like my overnight thing hasn't happened. Like I'm still, although
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: these are great things that I've been experiencing, right? She
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: experienced great things too.
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: She.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: She was acting. She got her role. She got her yeses.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying? She experienced her no's. She
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: was able to do multiple businesses. She did different things.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: But it was the sandwich that set off, skyrocketed her
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: to instant popularity. And so I think that I... I
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: know I'm doing the work and I know I'm being processed,
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: but I haven't had that experience, that moment of, oh,
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: that's her. Like, we're going to use her. You know
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying? Maybe brand attachment. I don't know. I
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: think it's subject to the person as well. You know,
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: so maybe I shouldn't be like, oh, I ain't famous
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: to people that think I'm famous. I don't know. I
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: need a better response to that. But I really appreciate
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: the Zephaniah320 comment. It says, at the time I will
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: gather you and, well, at the time I will bring
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: you home. Indeed, I will give you a good reputation
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: and praise among all the peoples of the earth. So
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: I really feel like there's a difference when I make
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: myself famous and when God makes me famous. And I
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: think that I'm more focused on the God making me
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: famous than God. Me making myself famous, it's a weird
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: construct for me. I'm not rejecting the fame because in
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: my mind, Desiree, I feel like fame is needed. Because
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: if I'm famous, that means, you know, I'm liked, I'm respected,
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: I have good reputation. And my good reputation leads me
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: to the goal of making people know that it's possible
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: to have a relationship with God and their own relationship
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: with God, right? Right. And that salvation is tangible. Real
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: relationship with God is tangible. The love of God is tangible.
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: Their testimony doesn't define it. Like that's important to me.
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: And so if people like me enough to hear me,
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying? You might not always agree,
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: but to hear me on these things, then I feel
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: like I won. God made me famous for a reason.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: There's a reason for my fame. That's exactly what I
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: was about to say. I think the, um, the processing
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: is necessary because, Um, because in those processes, that's where
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: your heart is tested. Right. Um, because when God does
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: a thing, he does a thing because you're ready for
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: the thing. And so the goal of being famous is
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: not so that your name is so that we can
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: gloat and say, Oh, your name, your name. It's so that.
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: you can make his name great. He's putting you in
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: a place so that you can bring the people into
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: the king. You know what I'm saying? Really be able
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: to share the gospel, really be able to share the
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: love of Christ, whatever that may look like in the
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: space that you're in. I think the line is, like
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: you said, when we feel like we have to do
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: the thing to make our name great, now we're getting
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: into idolatry. Now we're idolizing a platform. Now we're idolizing ourselves.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: Now we're idolizing the glitz and the glamour and the
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: things that come along with people recognizing who we are.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying? So I think I was going,
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: just going back to say like, um, the, the process
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: is always, that's just the thing, the thing that just
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: keeps coming up for me, especially in this season. Sometimes
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: I'm like, dang Lord, I feel like I'm still in
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: this place. I feel like I'm still in this, in
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: this space. But I just have to understand that it's
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: said in the proper time. Because it's always a timing
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: thing with the Lord. Well, we may feel like it's
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: been three years, but for him it may have just
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: been like three seconds. You know what I'm saying? But
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: whatever that time is, I truly believe that time is necessary. Also,
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: and in that process I'm learning that there are some
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: things either known or unknown that, could possibly also be hindrances,
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: you know, bloodline things that, you know, we have, we
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: have to use this time now to be able to,
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: because this is kind of where I am, just telling
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: you where I am, is I recognize there are some
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: patterns in my family that aren't necessarily God patterns, right?
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: So I believe that he's also given me this time
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: to be able to, fight and break those things off
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: so that when you do get to a point, those
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: things don't follow you. They don't follow the lineage that
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: that's going to be coming after, you know what I'm saying?
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: And so I just think this is a very, it's
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: a very interesting and a thin line that as believers,
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: you know, we just have to make sure that our
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: heart posture and our motives are proper. Like, why do
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: you want to be famous? Like, you know what I'm saying?
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: This is good, Jesmyn. This is good because this is
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: not what we're planning on talking about. It's not. I
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: think you're onto something with that because I think about
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: the things that I've dealt with, right? Honestly, if I
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: can be honest, there is a slight fear attached to
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: fame because of what I've been through. So what happened, you, like,
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: the girl on Poor Minds, right? Lexi. And I don't really, like,
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: indulge in their content to where I'm watching their podcast,
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: but they're, they're some funny girls. Right. And I just,
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: I love the fact that they were, they started from
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: the bottom. Now they're here and Lexi is experiencing, you know, this,
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: this climax of popularity and fame and recognition. And she
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: says something, um, on her platform that, you know, to some, um,
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: And really, I'm just kind of touching on it, not
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: to bring... Saying who right, who wrong, or whatever. It
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: just is what it is. But her past basically caught
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: up with her. And the lady, I guess... I don't
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: even think it was a wife or whatever, but I
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: think it was... I don't know. I don't know. It
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: was basically, Lexi was being accused of being the other woman, right?
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: And she was saying that she didn't know or whatever,
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: but then the other lady said she knew. Like, it's
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: just a lot of back and forth. I'm not interested
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: in that. I done already told y'all what I done.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: I'm not really trying to revisit that because my name
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: is greater now and there's a bigger light. You know
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying? It's not just a light bulb, it's
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: a spotlight. But you know what I'm saying? I'm not
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: interested in arguing back and forth because my... There's just
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: ask and there's Jessica S. Smith and then there's my
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: middle name. Okay? if we ever see my middle name,
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: I'm scared. You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't,
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I, and, and I, and that's
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: probably why I'm not where I am right now that, that,
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: that my middle name still can, can come out. You
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying? And so I just, I just, I,
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: I battle with the idea or the imagination of, okay,
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: I get to this point or I get known to
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: this degree and I get bashed for something I've already
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: spoken about. You know what I'm saying? Like, I know
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: I've been in adultery. I know I've been, you know
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying? I haven't been perfect. I know that
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to be a virgin when I get married. Like,
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: I know all these things. I'm not trying to argue
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: with you about that. You know what I'm saying? And
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: so I think being around people that have already dealt
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: with that is going to be my next step. Like,
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: how do you manage something like that? People say they
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: want it. But when you get close to it or
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: even in it, it's like, no, I need to be
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: trained on how to manage fame or, of course, the
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: Holy Spirit or whatever. I believe in community and people
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: teaching you like, hey, maybe not say this. Don't worry
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: about that. Don't look at this. Don't respond to this.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: The whole idea of the PR. Holy PR. Shout out
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: to Be The Buzz. Be The Buzz. Be The Boss.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: Sarah Buzz. But yeah, that's what my fear is. Yeah.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: That's real. Um, because, um, it all, I think what I,
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: what I was, what I was hearing, uh, just the
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: word stewardship. Yeah. You know, um, he, he has in
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: the Lord, you know, uh, watches how we store little things. Um,
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: so that when we get to spaces and places that
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: we've desired or that he has for us, he's also
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: watching how we store those things as well. You know
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying? And so, um, wanting to be in community,
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: asking questions for people. I think that's the other part too,
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: like people being open and transparent and willing to have
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: the conversations about just kind of like their journey and
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: where they are and how they are stewarding and managing
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: things because that really helps the next person that's coming in.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: And if you're not, there's a lot of people that
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: aren't open to that though. And I ran into that
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: even as I was kind of stepping into the space
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: of cosmetology. It was so interesting. I was having conversations
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: with people who've been in the industry for years. And
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: it was almost kind of like, they was like, I
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: can't tell you what I did because, you know, I
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: don't want you to. I want you to suffer for it.
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: I got it out of the mud. I got it
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: out of the dirt. I don't want you to have
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: my people. That kind of thing. I was like, it's
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: a conversation. What's your fee? Is it a fee thing? Like,
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: you want me to pay for it? I'll pay for
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: the consultation. That's fine. But I'm just like, why are
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: we sometimes not as open to sharing, you know, the journey,
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: being transparent to like, the journey where we are, how
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: we got there to help the next person along the way.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying? And we not, not everybody
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: is there, but I can, I can imagine like the,
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: I had a lady tell me this one time. She said,
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: our ceiling is your floor. Meaning the work that we
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: had to put in, the work that we put in
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: to get here, Like, that's where you're starting because we're
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: willing to show you. We're willing to tell you where
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: you are because greater work shall you do. You know
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying? And you just have to have a
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: heart to be able to steward to stuff like that. Yeah.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: I think you are on the right path with it.
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: And that's another thing. Like, that's why I created the
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: safe space. For one, let me not say that. I
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: created the safe space because they asked. Kiana was like, no,
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: we need. this, but I believe what the safe space
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: is doing is allowing people to go be like Tammy.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: Tammy is the bit, one of the best examples, um,
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: of who, what this, what I'm about to say, Tammy came,
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: me and Tammy met each other in a whole nother community.
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: She joined my community, which I thought was weird. And
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: she thought it was weird. Uh, and we're being like, okay,
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: we're already another community together. Like we're peers, you know
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying? But her coming to my community said,
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: I want to be coached by you. I want to
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: be led by you. I need to learn something from you, right?
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: But she didn't even understand what she was learning. Now
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: we're a little bit over a year and not only
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: is she a coach for the community, but she has
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: gotten space that she prayed for, for her podcast. You
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: get what I'm saying? And so I think that, I
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: think that, What I'm doing for that space is they
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: get to see real life time. Like in this moment,
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: people will never get this form of Jessica back. So
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: people that are in the safe space now get to
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: see me navigate the fame. So they're like, no, Jessica
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: told us about that. Because I'm going to be real.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying? I don't know that. And
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: we're talking about fame as the level of fame that
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: I am on. I'm just going to accept whatever level
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: that is. Thank you. Whatever level that is, okay? I
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: will accept that. But I think that what community does
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: is it's so important for people that are leading people
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: in the community to be transparent about that. Because like
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: you said, it doesn't trip up the next person. I
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: also think that that is... is part of God's heart language,
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, for us not to have
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: to play and repeat. You get what I'm saying? Like,
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: that's the reason why the Israelites fail so much because...
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: They were more interested in the now versus, hey, this
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: is the God that delivered us from this, so we
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: can go back from there. You know what I'm saying? Like,
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: everybody else, it was them that said, everybody else got kings.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: What happened to ours? Who is our overseer? Like, the
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: popular thing, and I think that's also... That's also a
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: thing for me in popularity, like trends and all this stuff.
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: It irks my nerves. I'm not interested in doing what
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: everybody else is doing because they doing it. That led
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: the Israelites in a slave mentality. You know what I'm saying?
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: They were enslaved because of this mentality. Everybody else got
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: a king but us. But yes, y'all do. Y'all got God.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: God is the king. So now I'm in bondage because
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: of popularity. Yeah. Interesting. So this is random, okay? Who
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: said we can't wear white after Labor Day? I don't know,
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: but who said that? The shoes. Like, I don't understand. Like,
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: is it going to blow up or something? Let me
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: look it up. Who said we can't? As we were
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: talking about trends, like fashion, like, you know you ain't
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: supposed to wear white after Labor Day. Why?
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: What's going to happen? That don't make sense to me.
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: I know it's random, y'all, but that's how my brain
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: be thinking she said that. I was like, who said
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: we can't wear white? If y'all know, let us know,
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: because I don't know. I'm about to look it up
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: right now, because... Like stuff like that. Like the Netflix chant,
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: I get it, but it's working my last nerve. The sound.
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: I don't know. It's the sound. It's too much. It says,
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: no single person invented the rule, but it was created
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: by a high society elite. in the late 19th and
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: early 20th centuries as a way to keep new money
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: out of upper-class circles. The rules solidified into a fashion
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: law through a mix of social gatekeeping, practically, and media reinforcement.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: So rich white people made this rule up. And it
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: was a way, if somebody were white, So after Labor Day,
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: they knew they was poor. They was poor. So it
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: was an act of separation. And I even think that's
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: Holy Spirit giving you that question. Because now, like, what
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: is popularity or fame really doing to us? If we're
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: supposed to be, if we're thinking about community, if we're
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: thinking about being kingdom minded and kingdom driven and being,
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: showing the love of God, how is popularity and fame
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: disconnecting us from that? So now I know that you
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: wear white shoes. You ain't no Christian. You ain't no
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: believer because you wear white shoes after Labor Day. That
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: sounds stupid. That's crazy. And that was a popular mindset.
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: That was an elitist mindset. And I think that's probably,
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: if I'm really being honest, that is a core reasoning
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: of why I really don't. I don't know I'm wrong
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: because I don't want people to think I'm not touchable. Now,
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: for some of y'all, I am. Don't touch me. Don't
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: touch me. Don't think we that cool. You know what
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: I'm saying? That's weird. That's weird. That's weird. The fly
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: is going to get anointing today. But that's a little weird.
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: I think that there have to be boundaries. You know,
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: the outer courts, you are on the outer courts of me, right?
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: Because you're not, you have no assignment here. You have
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: no assignment in the courts, in the inner courts and...
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: the holy of holies. You don't have an assignment there.
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: So you got to stay where your assignment is. Your
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: assignment is on the outer courts of who I am.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: And that's okay. And so I think that managing that well,
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: but how do I manage the popularity of being known
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: when I know that there is an elitism or people
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: that Praise that. There's some idolatry attached to it. Like,
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: how do I manage that? This example is a perfect
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: example of how popularity and fame can separate us when
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: God has not separated us from himself. Oh, that's good. Like,
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: Jesus was popular.
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: He was.
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: Jesus was famous. His name spreaded beyond the territory that
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: he walked on. Right? But he never... He never disregarded
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: people and said, oh, I'm famous, oh, I'm this. No,
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: he just said, hey, I am that I am. Jesus.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: I think learning how to be famous should be learned
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: by Jesus. We need to learn fame from Jesus. You know, technically,
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: he became famous for doing what was not popular. Not
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: doing what the, you know, what people typically does. You know,
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: which I think is why he came. He was a disruptor.
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: That part... That part. And we talk about... The slogan,
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: being famous for the wrong reasons, comes up. And I
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: think that people can discredit what they know about you
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: because they know that you're a solution. It's a lot
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: of things that come with fame. But I think... If
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: I had to have a core reason of why I'm
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: not really interested in that word or the popular word, whatever.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: When I was younger, I was like, yeah, you know,
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: I want to be popular. I want to be known.
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: I want to be liked. That was the biggest thing.
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: I didn't feel like I was liked. But I didn't
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: get to a point where the people that liked me
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: rocked with me for real. And the people that don't,
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: it's not a black or white. It's not gray for me.
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: It's black or white. You rock with me or you
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: don't rock with me. You love me or you don't
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: love me. I don't really have a middle ground. And
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: I'm working on that with my therapist. Because at some point,
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: sometimes you got to have a middle ground with some things.
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: But I'm a black and white person, so it's like, okay,
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: I'm good. The people that know me, the people that
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: rock with me, they rock with me. Those that are
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: getting to know me or know me from afar, which
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: is social media and all that stuff like that, that's cool.
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: It surprises me because I feel like nobody really pays
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: attention or engages or anything like that. So I try
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: not to get stuck in that. But going back to this, like,
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: I can only imagine because I've been, you know, we've
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: been without funds before. We've been to where daddy, we
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: were eating sandwiches. You know what I'm saying? And fruity looms.
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: Not fruit loops, but fruity looms. All right? Not frosted flakes.
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: But I can see it, but I can't say it.
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: We had no tiger on the box. You get what
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: I'm saying? So it's like, I understand that level of...
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: And then, who can be the most popular poor person?
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: Quotation marks. You get what I'm saying? Yes! We all
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: broke and fighting to have the best Jordans or the
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: clothes or whatever. My daddy didn't care about all that,
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: so we were wearing scats. What's a what? Scats. Scats.
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: All right, Kirsten Mama. Oh, I'll never forget this day.
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: I'll never forget this day. Sixth grade, Ms. Lucia Skaggs,
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: Center Street Middle School. And some of the folks follow
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: me now. I love them, but they were some of
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: the folks that was laughing, okay? I remember walking in
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: the classroom a little tardy for the party, and Kirsten's
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: mom had bought me and Kendall some shoes. Now, me
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: and Kilner didn't know we went through this on the
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: same day, but we did. I bust that corner in
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: that classroom or homeroom, and I walked in with confidence
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: because I got some new shoes. Mind you, I didn't
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: understand name brands. I didn't understand all this. She had
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: got us some Walmart shoes, which is popular today. It's
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: probably the same shoes I just paid $ 25 for at
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: the Walmart. Well, they're LA Gills.
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: Huh?
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: They had lights on them. No, they didn't. I'm in
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: sixth grade. I did not have no lights on mine.
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: I think I may have had some L.A. gills or something.
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: In sixth grade, I know you lying. I know you lying.
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: You were not wearing no lights. Okay, maybe not on license.
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: Not lights. That's elementary school on down. I ain't wearing
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: the lights in fifth grade, right? So, I walk in
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: the classroom or whatever, and I'm walking with confidence. And
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: not trying to show off my... I know I got
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: new shoes on, but I'm not thinking nobody will see me.
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: I bust that corner. It didn't take three seconds for
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: them shirts to bust out laughing at me. And so
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: I was like, what's going on? And I made it
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: to my seat. And one of the girls that I
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: was cool with, she was like, oh, Jess, you got
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: some new shoes. I was like, yeah, girl. She was like,
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: she kind of shook my hand. Like, that ain't it.
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: I said, oh, that's why they laughing. She was like,
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: I was appreciative that she told me, you know what
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: I'm saying? Like, so now I don't even want to
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: wear the shoes. I'd rather go to the busted down sketch.
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: So I won't be seen. You know what I'm saying?
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: The next year, my brother became the hero. Shout out
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: to you, Justin. My brother became a hero. At that time,
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: felines was popular. My brother bought me and my sister
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: matching felines, and it was black with the white stripe
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: and the purple accent color on it. Baby, I wore it.
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: them things out a whole school year. Because y'all went
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: for the talk about it, and they said, oh, Jess,
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: we see you got some new school, but it don't
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: come with the laugh, though. The new shoes don't come
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: with the laugh. But that was all because it wasn't popular.
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: All y'all broke. All y'all broke. All y'all broke. But
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: y'all talking about me and my new shoes that fit.
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: I went coming to school for best dress. You know
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying? That's probably why, you know, I'm a
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: little ranting right now, but that's probably why. I don't
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: really I'm not really interested in fashion like that until now.
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm having to proactively change that narrative. And
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: I think popularity damaged me so much in my childhood
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: that I'm not really interested in my you know, I
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: want to be I'm grateful to know the people and
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: be known by the people that I am. Foster Mack,
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: you know, like the Darius, Tabitha Brown. I keep calling
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: David Shands. You know, I keep calling these people's name
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: out because they don't know my name. They know who
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: I am. And I'm good with that. I am honest.
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: So if it comes with the quantity one day, I
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: pray to God that I don't mismanage the gift of fame.
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: or popularity and I manage it to God's degree and
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: not man's. Because it's going to be some things. It's
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: some things now that I really got to go ahead
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: and get in top shape because if that time comes
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: and I ain't dealt with it, it's going to be
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: harder to deal with it. It's going to be harder
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: to let go. It's going to be harder because people
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: are going to be able to see it then. So
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: I'm grateful. On that note, I'll come to the agreement
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: of I'm famous on the level of wherever y'all want
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: to say. This is interesting. This is interesting, right? I
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: just think, like, for me, out of this whole conversation,
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: I just feel like wherever you are, whatever the Lord
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: has you building, whatever space you occupy, I think we
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: just have to be accountable and be great stewards in
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: those spaces. Mm-hmm. And remember who named supposed to be great. Yeah.
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: And that's Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. Y'all, this was actually a
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: fun conversation. This had nothing to do with what we
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: said we were going to talk about. This is how
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: we be kicking it like this all the time. We
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: just got to sit in front of the camera. In
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: the camera, right. So y'all probably going to be like,
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: this is just random. Yes. Yes. But it was on topics.
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: And when the analytics analytic, they going analytic, okay? If
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: you stay for this conversation, maybe you're challenged with what
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: your definition of fame and popularity is, what that looks
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: like for you. Maybe that's something that you're yearning for.
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: Let's ask why you're yearning for it. Does that yearning
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: come from the Lord, right? That's a good thing, right?
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: But also, if it's like self-centered, okay, what's going on?
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: And I don't think it's a... It's bad to want
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: fame and popularity, but what will you do when you
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: get it? Thank you, Holy Spirit. I'm going back to
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: Tabitha Brown. Tabitha Brown was somebody that the Lord ordained
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: to be famous because she knows how to properly utilize
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: her fame. There's not one day that goes by that
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: she's not promoting another business. There's not one day that
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: she's not DMing somebody and saying, hey, I see you.
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: I know you. I know this because it personally happens
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: to me. It don't happen to me every day, so
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: don't get your panties in a bunch. Like, don't do that.
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: But what I'm saying is people like her that understand
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: the blessing it is to be famous and popular. And
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: sought after, right? That she's utilizing. That's why she's going
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: to forever and continue to be where she is because
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: she's managing that well and doing that unto God, right?
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: And so she's not forgetting who made her famous. Who's
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: making you famous? Who's making you popular, right? And why
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: do you want to be that way? So believers, Christians, non-believers,
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: if you're watching. I'm sorry. We love you guys. I
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: hope this is a great conversation for you. Tell us
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: what you think about the fame and popularity in the chat.
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: But until next week, until next time, remember, life could
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: be much more simple if you just ask. Peace, y'all.
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: Thank you for tuning in to this week's episode.
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: Since you've made it this far, you might as well
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: connect with us on all social media platforms at the
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: Jessica S.
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: Smith.
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: I know I won't see you back until next week,
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: but until then, remember to love always yourself and always thank.
• 44:29
  Speaker 3: God for another day. Hey, I know we could be
• 44:35
  Speaker 3: another way.
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: Hey, pray.
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: Thank God for another day.
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: Hey, hey, I'm.
• 44:45
  Speaker 3: Just thankful for another day.
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: Hey.
• 44:50
  Speaker 3: Hey, another day older, another day wiser, another day to
• 44:54
  Speaker 3: get it right, another day to rise up, another day living,
• 44:57
  Speaker 3: another day with loved ones. Always remember, hold it down
• 45:00
  Speaker 3: for above one.