Latest / The Thriving School Podcast with Jenni Awesome / Walking Through the Shadow: Surrender, Healing, and the Father’s Love with Mike Dyson

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Walking Through the Shadow: Surrender, Healing, and the Father’s Love with Mike Dyson · The Thriving School Podcast with Jenni Awesome

• Jenni Awesome: Alright, and welcome to the Jenny Awesome Podcast, where we're reigniting belonging through real conversations about faith, leadership, healing, and purpose. Every story has the power to transform a life. And every episode is an invitation to grow, be encouraged, and discover that you belong. And I'm your host, Jenny Awesome. Let's dive in and meet our guest today. I'm honored to welcome Mike Dyson, an entrepreneur, follower of Jesus, and author of The Shadow, Walking Through the Valley, Abiding Under the Almighty. Through his own journey of brokenness, redemption, and restoration, Mike has experienced the incredible grace and faithfulness of God in profound ways. Mike, thank you for being here and for sharing your story with us today. Welcome to the podcast. Mike Dyson: thank you. Thanks for having me. I appreciate it. Jenni Awesome: Yeah, so so tell us a bit about yourself. Mike Dyson: well currently married for thirty one years, have four kids, live in Pensacola, Florida, eleven grandkids. That's a little hard to believe. We just had identical girl twins. So we didn't, but our son and his wife did. so that was kind of something, a shock kind of I think to everybody, but awesome in itself. So I'm a franchise owner. I've been in the fitness industry after God called me to change my health. Quite a story about how all that came about. That was not originally what I was in. but I'm in f anytime fitness franchise. We have three locations. We had five. I sold two last year, felt like that's what God was calling me to do. It's worked out well. So now we're down to three. Two here locally and then one across the Alabama border. for the most part, I'm kind of retired, I guess. It would look like I'm retired, even though I wouldn't call it that. so life has changed quite a lot in the last few years for sure. So and then of course my book, That's something new, that just was released in May. So Jenni Awesome: So twin girls, huh? Mike Dyson: Yeah, that's wild. Identical twins is so something else. So they already have they already have three, so that makes five for them. So that's yeah, exactly. Yeah. So anyway, but they're they're great, they're awesome, godly parents. we couldn't ask for anything more and there's intentionality to that, right? it just doesn't happen. So they're intentional in their own relationships and their relationships and of course then sewing into their kids, which is really that's the design of God. So Jenni Awesome: Absolutely wonderful. my god. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So tell us more ab about your spiritual journey. It it sounds like it's made a world of difference in your life. Mike Dyson: It has. It's you know, it's been interesting. my life didn't start off with the greatest. Many people don't. And my mom was really searching for answers. she was divorced early on and remarried and just kinda lost. She was just lost. And she went through Gene Dixon, the stars and all that trying to find her way and ended up we were in Jehovah's Witnesses for a while. As a young age, I was going door to door who watched ours. It's kinda wild the journey and I never I didn't grow up in church. I was one time in a vacation Bible school in a Baptist church. It's funny about that. I remember it's the strangest thing, things you remember, but I can remember being in a pew. I don't remember how old I was, but I remember all the kids were getting baptized, but I just didn't think that was something I should do because I didn't understand it. And that's something that even in that young age, I just felt I shouldn't do that just for doing it. And that's the only time I was really in church. my life just got off. my mom took me across state lines to have me aborted, that was kind of the beginning of my life. Obviously she changed her mind, thank God for that. but I do think that rejection was in me from the very beginning. she had an orecolepsy for 12 years in my life. So that was a lot of isolation. I say all that to just say as with a many people, things start at the very early ages, right? And you begin to lose identity, you begin to lose purpose. And then again you're trying to Jenni Awesome: Yeah. Mike Dyson: find ways to fill that hole. And there are so many worldly ways to do that. And unfortunately I probably selected them all and none of them worked, right? So, and but in nineteen eighty, I had moved to my grandparents into a larger town and I got really involved in drugs and just pretty heavy in a lot of stuff that I didn't belong in. And I was in a Denny's one night and out of my mouth I was I was really I was stoned. And out of my mouth came some comment like, Amen or something. These people were praying over there. And that was very abnormal for sure. That did not normally come out of my mouth. And then they looked up and they invited me over to the table and they didn't judge me. They invited me to church. I got saved. Shortly after that, they invited me to church and I had an infilling of the Holy Spirit. and it was just amazing. I mean, I just really fell hell over head over heels in love with Jesus. And I just was in the church doors every time it opened. I was at the home groups, I was at everything. But I didn't have any discipleship. I didn't know what it was to be a Christian. Like, I mean, you know, this is a whole new thing for me. So, no one really sat me down and talked about reading the Bible or the importance of the different things that, you know, we should have that we would consider like almost you should automatically know, I suppose. But I did not. I didn't grow up in that environment, right? So six months later I fell pretty hard. I fell into a situation and it was sin. And it I the next morning I ended up calling the pastor and I met with him and I told him, and it was I'm sure it was a lot to hear, the story I told him, but I was completely transparent of everything that happened. but I think I don't know the reason. I'm gonna assume it shocked him and he didn't respond with let's pray or you can be forgiven. and I walked out of that restaurant that day feeling as though I now blew it with God. I had blown it in every other situation. So I really felt like I kind of moved away from redemption. And I think that in that moment I was already under a law mentality, not knowing that's what it was to begin with. And then I end up falling in love with Jesus, right? And then I end up in this moment to where I did something that was totally against him, and I shifted back to thinking I didn't I'm not measured up now, right? Like because I'm not doing what I'm supposed to. I'm not condoning what I did by any means, but I think Because he handled it the way he did, I went for 13 years drifting, really thinking God is there. I obviously I experienced him, but I didn't know how really to connect back because I thought it was somewhat performance-based, right? And that's the league, that's the law thinking, right? So got married, had two kids, some good sides, but some pretty bad sides, had an abusive relationship. My wife abused me. Jenni Awesome: Right. Mike Dyson: I was beaten on many times, stabbed. I mean, just all sorts of crazy stuff. You know, and a person would wonder, why do you hang in a relationship like that? Well, I came from a broken one. And part of my commitment was that I would never break that right to be there for my kids. I didn't want them to go through that. And from the outside looking in, you would Well, look what you're putting your kids through. Yeah, you're right. But in when you're in that and you Jenni Awesome: Well. Mike Dyson: kind of make that covenant almost to yourself. It's like you'll just go through anything just to keep that from happening. too much to that story. It was just a lot, a lot of bad things were happening, especially at the end. Alcohol for her was it it ultimately ended up taking her life. Alcohol did very sad. and she was thirty nine years old when she lost her life. But in nineteen ninety three, yeah, it was just it was terrible. It was worst, worst funeral I ever have been to in my life, to be honest with you. Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. All right. Mike Dyson: Don't want talk too much about that because even though that's not long ago, it's just a very sad, sad thing, right? It's my kid's mother and my first wife. But November 17th in ninety three, though, I rededicated my life. And how that came about was I was actually drinking in my house and I never drank in all the years that we were together for twelve over twelve years. I'd never we never drank in our house. Never did. And but that there was a lot of things going on at the time. My wife was out with another man. It just kind of tells you where things were at and and our household, not good. And I was drinking a beer and I I remember telling my son, again, I would never do these things, but I did that night. I said, I asked of them to get me a beer. And when they went to the refrigerator, I can see it like it was yesterday, he said, I thought you said you were gonna quit drinking, Dad. And then my daughter said, It's okay, he's upset. So the next morning when I woke up, that's all I could remember and see was her saying, It's okay, he's upset. And What in the world am I teaching my kids? And really, God, I believe, used that moment. I was on a couch and I finally just turned my life over and threw my hands up and said, Take this mess of a life that I have and do whatever you can with it. And I'm prepared to do whatever it is that you asked me to do. I'm I'm just prepared and I released my life. And the first thing that God spoke to me very clearly, not audibly, was I had to stop blaming. and I was prepared. So I began the journey. I began reading. My word started in John and Acts. John one chapter a day, then Acts, and when I hit Romans, it was kind of like the words began to jump off the page. I was completely transformed, completely one eighty. And God began teaching me how to release people in my life, myself included. worship was a big part of that. I remember music, I sang, I loved it. it would just wash over me. I would just weep in the presence of God and he was just really cleaning me is what he was doing. but it's been a long journey. That was the beginning, right? And that's Jenni Awesome: Yeah. Mike Dyson: but it's it's it's had its challenges along the way because growth is many times painful, right? So you know, going through some of those things that God led me through, they sound they can sound easy when we're talking about it, but they're not easy when you're having to let go of those things 'cause there's a lot of hurt there. So Jenni Awesome: Yeah, I actually I was at a business group this morning and one of the other presenters said that, you know, there is no testament if you don't go through the test first. And I I very much resonate with that, that you know, these these journeys, these things that we're put through that we struggle through so much in that moment, it's really hard to see that those are the things that are strengthening you, and that's God trying to say, Hey. Mike Dyson: Yeah, that's true. Jenni Awesome: I'm here, you just have to open the door for me because I'm here for you. Mike Dyson: Right. That's right. That's right. And I think, you know, it's interesting because I think that as believers, when we come into the kingdom of God, for some reason we have this notion, and well and maybe not everyone, but I came from kind of a past that was pretty dark. We'll put it that way, right? So now I'm in the light. So then I think somehow you begin to believe that you're not gonna face anything, like you know, that somehow this is gonna be some Easy walk, you read the scripture, you get in there and you start seeing all the promises of God. And I don't know. You begin to take this posture to think that somehow things aren't going to happen. And it's that's not it at all. Life is still life, and the fall of man is still evident in our lives and our world today. And we can be affected by that many ways, but then we also still have our own choices, or other people have choices as well. And all those things can affect us. And then you throw in the mix the sovereignty of God figure that one out. I can't figure it out or explain it by any means. But you know, God doesn't always send these things, right? But like sickness and things like that. But those things can be used by him, what the intended the enemy intended for evil. God can turn that for good. But our part is yielding in that process. And I think many times, and that part of where my book is at is I think many times we get stuck in a thinking that does not align with what God's ways are or God's thoughts are. and then that kind of paralyzes our growth. and growth can, you know, I just mentioned a minute ago, growth can be painful, but it doesn't mean it's not pain in the way we think it is. Like it's not it it's just it's hard. But God's right there with you to take you through it. And without that though, then you still have those roots or those different things that are inside you. that will continually to perpetuate outside of yourself, right? Because as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he, it begins to move outside of you. And that's where you have your attitudes and the way you treat people. And there's just a gamma different ways that those things can affect you. Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Yeah, so talking about your book, you you mentioned this a little bit, like and and the struggles you went through and and you mentioned that, you know, when you first came to Jesus, came to God, that you were missing your discipleship. Is that what led you towards writing a book? Like what what how did God lead you on this path of writing this book? Mike Dyson: That's an interesting question. I Willy, we went to a ministry school with Global Awakening in 2016. God led us to Pennsylvania. And we stayed up there. We interned for the ministry for a year. I got this message somewhere in that time frame. And I actually have traveled and and ministered with this message called the shadow. It's what it's called. And I was just at my kitchen table one morning reading Psalm 23 and the shadow of death, and then I it came to my mind about the shadow. of the Almighty or the shadow of his wings in Psalm 91. And I kind of like looking up the words in the Hebrew and the Greek because many times it kind of really opens up the meaning of the word. And so when I went there, I found out that the word in the Hebrew was the same word used in both of those Psalms. So I felt like God was trying to tell me something. So that's why I asked, what are you trying to show me? And I felt like in that moment what God was saying was is that that Psalm 23 says, Yay, do I walk through the valley? And I feel like I was saying is what happens, as I just mentioned, people get trapped in the valley and they take a posture of sitting in the valley when they were never meant to sit in the valley, but to walk through the valley. And so that kind of set this whole course on me kind of beginning to press into that more. And so I wrote a lot of notes. I think in 2018, 19, probably. I had my notes for seven years, almost seven years. And they were sitting in my desk and on my phone every Thursday, every week, it said write book. And I just never felt compelled to write. But I came through heart surgery and there's a story about that as well. but when on and that was 2023, 2025, I woke up in the middle of the night in the fall and I felt like it was to revisit my notes. And when I did, I was encouraged and I wrote the book in three months. So Jenni Awesome: Wow. Mike Dyson: I've I've always felt that that was a that message was a message that needed to be heard and was blessed to be able to minister that and what we traveled. but until that moment it was pretty well dormant in my in my inside me. It it still lived in me, but on my notes it was in my drawer for almost the first at least six years. Jenni Awesome: And it's it's it amazes me how we can have these thoughts because I know on my my own spiritual journey, I was recently gave myself to to Jesus back at the beginning of May. So I'm I'm fairly new on my journey too. That these these things that have happened in my life, these thoughts that I had years ago, months ago, as I'm going through, as you're saying, the valley, that really difficult time, those things are coming back now and they connect with me. Mike Dyson: Awesome. Jenni Awesome: on such a different level, like in my heart and in my spirit, because I've accepted God, I've accepted Jesus, I've accepted the Holy Spirit. And so now I feel like we're given that, I don't know, a maybe a new lens to look through. Like these things start to click in a in a very different way that they didn't before we accepted God. Mike Dyson: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean amazing grace, right? I was once blind, but now I see. Right. And I mean, if a person doesn't understand that, I mean, then they may still be in the blind category, right? Because it really is that prevalent in a lot of ways. It doesn't mean every single thing or truth opens up to you, but there but you have a moment where it is like a different lens. It's completely as though like Paul, when the scales fell off his eyes, right, there's a new vision that you see, you begin to see something different. And I think this is what happens is right, the shadow of death is obviously a representation of the enemy or his voice. And he is the liar, right? That's who he is, right? So it goes all the way back to the garden when he said, Didn't God say that you could eat from every tree? Well, he did, but there was a caveat except of the one tree, right? So he always takes up some truth and he puts in a seed of untruth, which makes all of it a lie, right? Because if it's either it's either truth. Or it's not. There's not a mixture, right? There's not a light and dark type of thing. And so I think these things begin to get on us. these messages, like we're not of any value, we are no significance, we have no purpose in our life. I mean, look at how your life is, look how people treat you. Whatever it may be, it can be a gamut of different things. What may work for one of the enemy may not work for another. But ultimately what happens, and even like When these things start coming, if you're in a work environment and then your boss doesn't treat you right, the enemy uses all those things to feed that seed. And ultimately it becomes a garment. It really does. It becomes like the shadow of death becomes a garment on someone, and that becomes a weight, right? And at Romans 8:1, there's no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus who walk after the spirit, not after the flesh. Right, his yoke is easy, but his burden is light, it's not heavy, right? So the opposite of all these things is not him, but we begin to believe they are. And if you go back to my journey, you think about this because we're in this mentality of thinking it's somehow we know it's not, but we still have this performance idea of things that opposes grace. And so, because of that, when these things happen, and and temptation is not sin. So there's all these mixes of thoughts that are going on, and the enemy's using them to bring about guilt, to bring about a lack of identity, all the things that oppose God. And they're not obvious. There's subtle tiny whispers that happen and he builds on those little by little. Sometimes he pulls back. And then this is what look if you're in battle, these are the strategies that you would use if you're trying to overtake something, right? You you have strategies of whether you go around the side or whatever. So That's what it represents is those those things that we have. And when we're redeemed, in God's vision, we are sanctified holy. But here on earth, we are still walking out our sanctification or walking our salvation out with fear and trembling. We're still we're still growing into that. We're becoming more and more like Him. So there are still things as new believers. That God wants to wash out of this. And I'll I'm gonna tell just a quick story. There's it's in my book. But there was a woman, she had MS, and she had it for about eight years. And the family called me over to pray for her. And I always interview people, find out how long they've had it, and did something happen? So I asked her, she said eight years. I said, Did something happen? She said, No. Her whole family gasped. And so I knew something happened. So I said, What did something happen? She said, Yeah, I got divorced. So I feel like the Holy Spirit gave me this. And so here's what I said. I said, you know, Jesus' forgiveness or God's forgiveness is not incomplete by any means. All right. And she was a believer. And but I said, Have you ever been to the beach? She said, Yeah. So I said, you know, when you go to the beach, you always get sand on you. But before you leave the beach, you usually take a shower and you wash, you wash off the sand. But it never fails when you get home. You find grains of sand. And the thing about it is, is that what's that? Jenni Awesome: Everywhere. I said everywhere you find Mike Dyson: Yeah, exactly. And the thing about it is that as we move from being lost to found, many times there are grains of sand that are still caught inside of us that God wants to clean and cleanse those grains out. Because where there's a grain of something that doesn't belong to him, in some ways takes up space for something that he wants to be in. So I think that's kind of the context of the shadow of death is that hopefully the book, and even hopefully anybody who listens to this to realize that that feeling that they have, whatever that may be, is not truth. And that's why the word is so important because it's not a novel. It's living word. And it will begin to wash you and wash your thinking and wash your mind. and it is a process, it's not overnight. But the more you ingest, I think. The quicker sometimes those things can be transformed. Jenni Awesome: And it's it's amazing for me. So getting into the Bible really truly for the first time, like my mother was raised Catholic. she bought me a you know, a kid's Bible when I was little and I'd look at the pictures and I think I made it through part of Genesis, but now actually looking at the Bible and reading through it, it's it's amazing to me, and I know he talks about it, how he he speaks in parables, is so that you glean something new, something different every time you read it. And it's It's relevant every time you read it in a different way. It's I I think it's it's working on those little seeds. It's it's attacking or pulling f a different seed every time. Mike Dyson: You're right. It is. It is. Yeah. And I think, you know, it's for me, I'm I'm just grateful on the couch that it became a release of my life. I was at a point to really just say enough is enough. And I think if, you know, this is how it really should be for anybody who ch steps over and says they want to yield their life, that you're yielding your life. And then really you're giving up the rights to your life, so to speak, is what you're doing. We don't understand that completely, but that's how it should be. And this is what was so great about David. Like we can look at David and he had issues. And I write about David in my book. But the thing about it is David became quick to repent. He he realized that he wasn't just sinning in the horizontal. He realized he was sinning in the vertical. And and that was the that was the thing for him the most was that he was sinning against God. He was sinning against the one that he worshiped and the one that he loved. That didn't mean that this wasn't important, that the horizontal wasn't important, but the vertical was much more important. And if we can be in that mindset, whenever the Holy Spirit convicts us or shows us these things that may be rooted in our heart, like someone of our past may pop up in our mind, let's just say, and we kind of just know that we haven't walked through the completeness of forgiveness or whatever that may be, then we need to be prepared to do we really want his ways. And if we really want to follow his ways, then we need to be able to lay that out. And look, I'm not insensitive. There are people who have gone through major, major things in their life, really bad stuff. So forgiveness many times is it's not a quick process, and I understand that. But by leaning in to him and saying, I want this, I want this, change my heart, whatever that that's where it's at. That that is that contrite heart before God. and I'm telling you what, it's amazing, amazing, amazing what he does. it's just amazing. When you look back, mean I look back on my life and and and but since I've read my book, I've gone back over my story. So a lot of these things I haven't thought about for a long time. And now it just is it's amazing. I haven't arrived by any means, but it is amazing what God has done in my life. I'm just I'm just dumbfounded to be honest with you. Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Yeah, so what's coming up for me is I've gone through a pretty extensive healing process too. And one of the things that really hit for me was when you're going through the forgiveness process, it's it's as much for you as it is for them too. And it's it's releasing that, you know, tether from you, from you, from them, and that if you can go. Beyond the step of forgiveness, yes, you may not ever forget, but removing the emotion attached to that memory and then blessing those people because even God says to you know, bless your enemy, love thy neighbor, love the enemy, love everyone, like you're really truly getting closer to God and and f truly freeing yourself from from those those wrongs, from those things that have happened. Mike Dyson: That's right. Right. Correct, because unforgiveness is a form of judgment. That's really what it is, right? I mean, we know the act is wrong and and but we enter into this posture because now we're kind of against the person for what they did. And so that doesn't align with God. It just does not, right? And it doesn't matter how much we want to justify it, it doesn't align with his ways. And if we want the fullness of what God has for us in our life, then there's obedience that goes along with that. And I know that's not a popular word, but it's just the fact of the matter, right? I mean, it I'm married, so I want to do the things that please my wife, not because I'm forced to do that, but because I love her and I want my intimacy with her to remain. And when I say intimacy, I'm not talking physical. I'm talking about intimacy, that fellowship that I have with her, right? And if I'm doing things that aren't that are not gonna feed in and complement my marriage, then it's going to affect that. And this is what I don't want to have because I had so many years, 32 years without that intimacy with God. I don't want to risk having the lack of that intimacy now. Right. And so I'm prepared. And it's not always easy. It's not, right? But it and you said that it's just as much for you as it does the other person. More times than not, the other person may not even know. They may not even know you feel the way you feel. Someone mentioned one time it's like carrying a dead body. I think there's even a talk about that. Jenni Awesome: Yeah. Mike Dyson: about how they would strap a dead body to someone and you're basically carrying them around with you, right? and releasing them is very empowering, right? So can God still use you with that? Of course he could. But but if you want to walk in in freedom, then freedom looks like something and it and and and that part of that is a is a resignation or surrender to his ways to enter that freedom. Jenni Awesome: Yeah, and and it's amazing. So you're bringing up obedience. You you just mentioned surrender. Like the I was in a women's group and that's what what brought me to God, brought me to Jesus, is I read I think it's surrender to his love by David G. Benner, and we had a lot of conversation around, especially women not liking the words obedience or surrender. And I also think that that's more of the enemy. putting that emphasis on those words because the the words themselves do not convey anything negative. It's a way of being it is a way of choosing to devote yourself to somebody and that's not a bad thing. Can it be used in the wrong way? Absolutely. But is it automatically wrong? No. Mike Dyson: Sure. Right. You know, it's something that see you know, I think when I thought of God, I thought of him being the lightning bolt god that when I stepped on the line he was just gonna whack me, you know, 'cause that's the only probably I felt that way most of my life and my experiences and whatever they may be, whether it was my choices or someone else's. But you know, that talks about the narrow path and many times that that's been used the narrow path as though it's a tight rope and if you step off the path then you're gonna You're going to end up with a lightning bowl god, so to speak, right? And I and I think, you know, we won't go into those fire and brimstone type messages. I know there was reasons that the people were doing that. But the thing about it is, is this you're going to look at this one of two ways. That narrow path is being marked by two hands of a father who is loving. Now, you can look at it that way, that he's actually doing this to protect you, or you can look at it as though he's trying to restrict you. Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Mike Dyson: So if you look at the narrow path as a restriction, then you have the wrong concept about who God is. But if you realize that your father in heaven is actually a loving father and he wants to bless you, then that narrow path is guided by the loving father's hands. He's trying to keep you from being hurt and harmed. He's trying to protect you. And I think that's one of the things that I think people have to get a new grasp of who God is and that's where the word comes in as well, right? Because and this is I I've I've said this to people before. Do you believe that God is sub not not that God is ever surprised. Let me stay that right now. So someone doesn't say he's he's just saying that but do you would if God could be surprised, we'll put it that way, do you believe that he's surprised when you get something right or do you believe he's surprised when you get something wrong? Jenni Awesome: Yeah. Mike Dyson: And I think if you think about that, we would have a tendency to think that he might be surprised when we get something right. Because it's just a mentality that we begin to begin to identify with that we can't ever hit a mark properly, right? We're always below the standard or whatever. But I believe it's the opposite because if you read First Corinthians 13 of what love is, love always believes the best, it hopes for the best. So I would see that God, because he created us in his image first off, right? But but that he is more surprised when we get something wrong, because he sees us in such a different context and light than we see ourselves. And I'm not saying that we run around and boast ourselves about, you know, like, you know, thinking that we're always getting it right. It's not what I mean. But I think what I'm talking about is how do you view him? And we My wife and I've done a lot of counsel with people and inner healing. Some people don't believe it about those things, but there are there's a lot to that. So so so is called. And many times people can relate to the Holy Spirit, even though they may not be able to necessarily describe him. Definitely relate to Jesus, but it never fails where the problem typically is. And this was the same for me is with the Father. Most people feel distant from the Father. I had to work really hard to become comfortable with the father. Why? Because I didn't have one. Right. So, because of that initial separation, because of that rejection. And even my stepdad, I told this story the other day in the farming community, they put the last name Ann Son or Ann Sons in a farming area. And he didn't want to do that. So all those things were shame. Like I was just never felt like I was a son. So Jenni Awesome: Mm. Mm, mm-hmm. Mike Dyson: That fathership, right? And so I think that's a big issue. And y I had to work and to begin to talk to the father. And I had to begin to visualize imagination is not all bad. Right. But I had to begin to imagine myself being closer to him. And eventually I was able to visualize myself in his lap. And that may be hard for some people to understand that, but I'm just telling you my story. And that gave me more comfortability to be able to speak to the Father and be comfortable approaching him. I mean, there's one God. Let me make sure I come clear on this too. There's one God, but represented in three persons, right? So and I think a lot of people can't re can't can't relate so much to the father in heaven. And I think that's a big one because again, this is about how you see him, and how you see him has a lot to do with whether you yield to him. Jenni Awesome: Yeah. Yeah. Mike Dyson: Whether you obey him because it will change those words, like we just talked about. Jenni Awesome: Yeah, absolutely. And you bring up, you know, the Trinity, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. And I'm actually reading a book on the Trinity that was recommended by one of my friends. but I had that conversation with my husband too, and he's like, Well, they're all the same. And I said, Well, yes, and people relate to them differently. Like they they may all be from the same entity, the same place. However, some people are more connected with, you know, the father. Jesus or the Holy Spirit. And I was trying to engage him in a conversation of which one he felt more connected to. And it it seems like Jesus. However, he he didn't agree with me that, you know, that there's that disconnect with some people. But I can see what you're saying, how our experiences make it easier for us to talk to one of them. Even like as kids, you know, sometimes it's easier for us to talk to our older sibling or our mother or our father. And it Mike Dyson: Right. Right. Right. Jenni Awesome: It's great that we have three ways to talk to and access God and we're all talking to the same person. So whichever one that that we're more comfortable with, they're there listening. And they'll open the door for the other two. Mike Dyson: We do. Right. That's true. And I think the one thing is we should hopefully become where we're comfortable in all cases, right? Because you're right. I mean, the Holy Spirit, many times represents the mother side of things, right? And then Jesus would represent the sibling side, and then obviously the father would be the father, right? So but it can affect your thinking, and most people are more comfortable with Jesus than than any of the three. It's usually Jesus, right? but I do think it's important and I do think it can have, and I'm gonna say this I think for men, it's probably even more important that they're connected with the father in heaven. Because I think men typically have a father void or a father wound. Now, I'm not saying they went through a brutal childhood. They could have grown up in a Christian home, but many times men have a issue on the father side and they still have an orphanism. Right, you know, Jesus said, I I don't leave you as orphans, you know, that orphan kind of orphan spirit, that non-connective type of part. and I think men, many men suffer that way. That's why they take on postures of performance oriented, try to be very control driven, all those things, because it pushes past those those issues that they have of actual insecurities. That's what they are. So sorry guys. Jenni Awesome: Yeah. So yeah. I so a question came to my mind earlier. when we were talking about the people who kind of camp in the valley, like they're putting on the shadow, they're they're or they're able to recognize that they're stuck there with the shadow. Like, do you have any recommendations? Like what would you recommend to someone who's recognizing, hey, I'm one of those people, I'm sitting here in the valley, I haven't moved forward. What what would you recommend? Mike Dyson: Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think you know, I was reading this morning, you know, where it talks about when you build your house on the rock, right? But it talks about the because you're adhering to the word that was given in order to how to build. And when they didn't, then they built it in sand and we know what happens when the storm comes, one stands and one does not. So but I would say it's the word, right? So I mean you have to you're you're in the valley because you're in the valley based on a lie. You're not in the valley. You're wait a second, I wanna rephrase that. Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Mike Dyson: We all go through valleys, but we're encapsulated by the shadow of death based on a lie, not based on the truth. All right. So this is where Psalm 91 comes in, is that we want to tap in to the shadow of the Almighty and move away from the shadow of death. So how do we do that? If we were fooled, which we typically are, and we begin to believe that lie about ourselves, maybe it's fear, whatever it is, the way to combat that is the truth has to trump, will always trump that lie, but we've got to get more of the truth in us. So I talk about that in my book as well, is how to recognize sometimes the obstacles that come along. But then the word is the way to bat it. Worship is the way to says Isaiah talks about putting on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. This gets a little, it gets hard though, when you're in a valley. And I went through this my heart surgery, never experienced anything like it before, really, in my life. And I've been through a lot of things. When you start feeling that weight of depression or whatever it is, it's kind of hard to praise your way out of it. Because you sure don't feel like praising, right? But that's why it's the sacrifice of praise. And it doesn't mean that you feel have to feel it, like you have to feel all that you're doing, but you have to step into some of those moments and apply the word, even when you don't feel like applying it. And you may apply it two moments and you might skip two moments, but it's a battle of trying to take that ground back. Because if it's become a stronghold, and stronghold in the Greek is a thinking, it's a mindset. If it's become that, then it that it can take some time to break that. but the truth will set you free, but you have to receive the truth. And again, we're back to God's word. So it's through prayer, through I think fellowship for me, going my hard thing. I sought out a Christian grief counselor because that's I just knew even with the tools that I had, I was it wasn't working. So I sought counsel, someone I could go and talk to. I think that can be another part of it. It depends on what you're dealing with. but definitely pressing into God, into the shadow of the Almighty is the way you get free. That will first and foremost at least get you out of the posture of sitting and get you into a standing position, which as a warrior, that's where you want to be. And then maybe the standing that will then eventually will end up leading to the point to where you can begin to feel like you're walking and you're not under the weight of the shadow of death. Jenni Awesome: Yeah, so it's it sounds like taking that first step, even just recognizing it, taking that first step and seek seeking the word, seeking people that we can reach out to and and be willing to take that hand, that help, that that support. Mike Dyson: For sure. Yeah. And I mean, again, my life talking about no discipleship. You know, pride stops us from many times. I just spoke to someone here recently and they almost like expected me to know something that I could not know. Right. And they were almost starting to point the finger at me like, why didn't I do anything? And I didn't even know that I needed to do anything. But it was pride on their side that didn't reveal what it was that they were going through. And if they would have, I would have been glad to do something about it. So why do I say that? Because this is what the enemy does as well. And this is a whole nother lie. This is another shadow. But he wants to back you in the corner. He wants to make you feel unique. He wants to make you think that whatever you're stuck in, that that that there's really, even though you would know there's could be redemption for you, but he wants to push it. If anybody ever finds this out, this is how you feel, this is how you think, this is how you act. these people they're they're just gonna see you the way maybe you are. It's gonna always be negative. So What that does is that prevents us from speaking out what it is. Now, I'm not telling you anyone to tell everyone. I think you have to find someone that you can trust. And that's why, like a counselor, obviously they're that's that's confidential. And it depends on what you're struggling with. But there's a lot of Christians out there struggling with some pretty big things. And and until they vocalize it and get that sin into the light, because that's what it is, right? If we're not following the truth of God, if we get down to the Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Mike Dyson: kind of the meat of things or brass tacks of things, if we're not following the truth of God, then we're following a lie. And if we're following a lie, then more than likely it's probably gonna fall in a sin category of some sort. Now it doesn't always mean that, but it could be. If someone's facing fear, then find some scriptures on the fear and fear not. you could the great thing about internet now, you can Google everything and you could ask and say, hey, give me scriptures on fear and you could use those. Put them on your mirror. I mean I've had scriptures on my mirror in my bathroom or Meditate them in the morning, read over them. And I want to say, because sometimes you think when you're doing that as though you're not doing anything, but you are. Because when you do that, you're saying without saying it out loud, you're saying, I trust that your word works, that is living. You may not feel that way, but you're exercising it. And when you do that, then you're then faith is in the midst of that. No matter how small the faith is, it doesn't matter. Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mike Dyson: We already know what a mustard seed faith will do, but that will begin to wash over you. And before you know it, you'll begin to recognize a difference. But I wish I could say it was like a microwave where you kind of just push a button, three minutes later you have popcorn, but but it's not, and it takes an intentionality on our part. But I think God meets us even in those smidgen of movements. He's always right there. He says, draw nigh to me, and I will draw nigh to you. So always our part is in that. Jenni Awesome: Yeah. I'm I'm just really resonating right now on on what you're saying and and it was actually interesting as you're saying some of these things, like it gets brighter where you're sitting, and so it's it's really it's like God is here illuminating the things that you're saying, because of the I I assume you're by a window. So tell us a bit more about where we can find your book. Like if we're if we're interested in in Mike Dyson: wow. wow. That's wow. Yeah. Jenni Awesome: Getting a copy, reading it. Mike Dyson: Sure. Okay. Yeah, it's all it's on Amazon. It's actually Walmart. You can Walmart.com. It's on Barnes and Noble, Books a Million. It's pretty well out there now. pretty well most everywhere. If you would were to Google the shadow, it won't show up. You have to do the shadow by Mike Dyson. It's just because there's other things that are by far more highly elevated than my book. but you could if you put the shadow by Mike Dyson in Amazon or one of those places, you'll be able to find it. I do want to say too, I feel like the book was wrote God gave it to me systematically. and the way that it goes through, it's an easy read. I I was never a reader, so I had to really ask God to help me to have a desire to read, because I was never a reader. I've read a lot now, but I didn't initially. but I think that the way he set it up and it goes through again obstacles, how to combat obstacles. We talk about faith, we talk about fear. Romans eight twenty-eight, the revelation God gave me about that. talks about Psalm 57, which happens to be right in the middle between Psalm 91 and Psalm 23. Imagine that. And that's an awesome Psalm because it represents both shadows that David faces. But it talks about the church and kingdom. Those are two different mentalities. and there can be a shadow involved in that. Talks about eternity, a shadow can be involved in that. Finances, health. There's so many different areas that the shadow of death can try to come in and bring and bring in thoughts to. kind of paralyze people and their thinking, which then and begins again, like I said, it it re it stops us in a way from moving into the fullness of what God has for us. And I think to go back where we're talking about surrender and obedience, which should not be negative words. They should not be, but in everywhere in scripture it is what it is. And if if you believe him, if you believe him to be the loving father that he is, Then surrender and obedience should always be willing because you know there's nothing but good that he has for you. But if you believe that not to be the case, then surrender and obedience becomes arduous, and it becomes more of that. Now I'm forced to do something against my will. And if you feel that way, then maybe your will isn't completely submitted. Jenni Awesome: Mm. Mike Dyson: Or you have a misunderstanding of who the father really is. I think it typically always comes back to who he is. When I got offended by the church way back in the 90s and it messed me up for many, many years, my whole thing was that the enemy allowed I ended up believing that God had set me up. I was called, we were called to a church. It's long story, but I got offended and then I felt like it was God put me on a plank and saw it off the board. Now that could sound obvious to him, how could you believe that? Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Mike Dyson: But it's the subtleties. And over a period of time that pushed me away from the Bible. It pushed me away from prayer. It it pushed me away from fellowship because I saw him in the wrong light. If I would have truly known, this was at the beginning of my walk, if I would have truly known who he was, I would have known that that was a lie. But I didn't. And I bought into that lie. And that lie carried in me for a long time. And it it didn't it made me where I remember we're in a church, we ended up on staff of that church. I couldn't receive from the pastor because I had this offense growing inside of me and it was almost like I can't get anything from his preacher. I just can't get anything. And it was blocking me from getting what God wanted to give me until I released that offense. And when I did, that was it. It all changed. Then my scales fell off in that particular category and it became a whole different thing. So I know I was tangent it off the book a little bit, but book is already said that, but I kind of got on a little tangent about that. But Jenni Awesome: Yeah. Yeah, it it Yeah, it it's amazing how, you know, we're we're giving these opportunities again and again and again, whether we're gonna choose God or or not. And even if, you know, you go off the path for however many years, you know, months, days, you know, he he still accepts us right back. And he's like, Yep, you went and experienced that. Now you have some more of your evidence that that you wanted and and come right on back and and just keep trying to build that faith in us. Mike Dyson: Right. That's correct. That's right. That's correct. Yeah. I mean he I even in two thousand four for me, I started chasing the corporate carrot in the early two thousands. I felt like my call was, I believed, a lie, that even though I knew the gifts and callings without repentance, I felt that it just was over. Like it just had passed. And those and again, these things could sound obvious to someone listening, but for me when I was in it, I just felt like maybe it just wasn't gonna happen anymore. And so I began to move towards the corporate, more the corporate world. And I did very well in it. but then, you know, I eventually got to the altar and I realized I was off. I had put work, profession before God, and that's thou shall have no other gods before me. My work became my God. And I can remember God just clear as day. He just said, I love you. And that just broke me. As I'm thinking, how do you do that? Like, I'm off. Like you know what I mean? It's almost like how could you still love me when I'm off and I'm not following your ways? But that's how it is. So to reiterate your point, there's always that moment. And I'd say the moment before the miracle, right? I mean, it's just there's always that moment. Just just step in because he's definitely you can trust him, that's for sure. Jenni Awesome: So how has your walk, your journey, what changes, what have you seen come to fruition with your family? Mike Dyson: Well, I I got remarried in nineteen ninety five, Mother's Day of ninety-five, and my wife Becky, has been fantastic and thank God for her because she is a golden retriever. If you're Gary Small, you may not be familiar with his teachings about the Otter Golden Retriever, but she's a very she's a nurturer, right? And very loving. but I had to come through a lot of stuff. when I got saved, I still had a lot of my prior marriage, everything was about a motive, about manipulation. So even though I loved Jesus and I loved her, I still had a lot of that dirty water in me that was producing walls and defense mechanisms anytime thing was going on. So if she would say something to help me, I'm defensive because I'm thinking that she has some motive. Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Mike Dyson: That she's trying to in some ways attack me, right? Because that's what I'm accustomed to. So she really loved me through that. and then it's the goodness of God that leads to repentance, right? And because she loved me the way she did, it broke me. And it broke me in the way that I began to recognize my defensiveness, my walls. And God used her to begin, not because she got on me. Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Mike Dyson: But because she loved me in the midst of it and I know that had to be hard. Right. Because it's not easy to hug a porcupine by any means, right? So and I'm sure I was a porcupine many times. But so I think that it's it was rough. I think it was hard at the beginning. We've been married for a long time now. to be honest, you know, we're going through a moment now because of coming through my heart surgery, which is a blind side of being completely healthy and pursuing health. God called me to change my health in the health industry. And then coming to find out that I ended up having to have open heart surgery. It was a ri rock my world. And it put me into a deep grief. And and and it you know, you know the things, don't climb inside yourself. And I could talk about all those things, but you know, when you're in it, it's tough. It's tough to come out of some of those things. And so I think, you know, that's had its effect over us. And, you know, right now we're just we're praying. We're praying in the morning and we're praying in the evening for God to restore any of those things that might have got Harmed in that trauma. so I think it's been a journey. I'll put it that way. You've had some fabulous, fabulous things along the way, what God's done in our lives. But there was definitely at the beginning, was not not easy. there's a TD Jakes wrote a book years ago. I I think I don't remember the name of it, but I know he talked about the junk in the trunk. And basically when you get married, you each get keys to each other's trunk. And you know. Jenni Awesome: Well, Mike Dyson: My trunk was Jenni Awesome: yeah. Mike Dyson: probably overflowing. You probably didn't need a key to the trunk. It's probably was overflowing with junk. But I think there's some truth to that, right? Because I don't think a lot of what we're talking about is really always taught in the church. and so therefore, you know, people can walk around, they know they're forgiven, they're trying to pursue God, but they're still affected by a lot of these strongholds and the thinkings in their life, and they're constantly being affected by them, which produces a lot of condemnation, shadow of death, right? Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Mike Dyson: And it becomes a very discouraging walk. And then we're supposed to be used for the kingdom for God's glory to be out there communicating to others when we are barely holding on ourselves, right? And so I think that God wants our heart to be healed. He does. And we can be saved and still have some soul wounds, right? Because that's your mind, your will, and emotions. and it can take some time to come through that. So how it affected it? Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Mike Dyson: positively on this end. Obviously it was much harder on these beginning parts of getting through all that. but thankfully, you know, we held strong and held faithful and God got us through all that. Jenni Awesome: Yeah, and something that has is coming to mind is is we were talking earlier about, you know, you can find anything online, anything you can Google and and even in these moments like you were able to reach out and find grief counseling, find your community and and I've even found success, you know, if I'm in a really tough moment, I'll go to like chat GPT and say, Hey, I need a really powerful prayer right now. Help me come up with the words. Mike Dyson: Yeah. Jenni Awesome: So that Mike Dyson: Yeah. Jenni Awesome: I'm able to then, if it's, you know, not right there on the tip of my tongue, w we can find these things. We have these resources. We have these ways to support ourselves through God. Mike Dyson: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Amen. It's funny because AI, I remember when AI first came out, I thought, my lord. I use Chat G G P T a lot. I really do. It helps in all sorts of different things. And when I said the prayers, that's actually where I went. The chat GPT knows me well enough, knows all about my journey, about lots of different things, right? But and and it did help to be able to kind of formulate that. Another thing, you know, we're getting ready to do, we're gonna go on a spiritual retreat for about four days to just spend some alone time. We're By ourselves all the time, but we're just going to get away. So I think, you know, there's always steps, right? And I think this is a big one that I don't know that people always think about, but there are steps. You and, you know, Ezekiel talks about the waters, right? The deep waters. And if you think about back to the beach, if you've ever been to the beach, when you go in to the ankles, the water's there, you might feel it's current to the knees, you feel it a little bit more, maybe the sand coming out underneath your feet. But when you get to your waist, which is really back in that kind of loins, the creative element, it's funny. When you get to that part, you're at this spot where you're gonna either step forward and move into buoyancy to where now you're not gonna have your feet so firmly on the ground, or the wave is gonna push you back to the shore. But to get to the deeper waters, you have to push past the resistance to get to the deeper waters to become buoyant to where it's not your strength. Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Mike Dyson: that's holding you up, but it's his and the buoyancy of that. Now, resist some resistance is obviously there to keep us from going down roads that we shouldn't, but a lot of those things are things that we're really called to push through back to the valley again, right? Never meant to stay in the valley, but to move through the valley. Then he says, My cup runneth over, right? I mean he talks about goodness of mercy, to chase after you is really what that talks about all the days of your life. So I think I think we have a a wrong thought in again about what it is to be a Christian and what this walk looks like. Everything at the point of conversion. If I am 10 pounds overweight the day that before I get saved, the next day after I'm saved, I'm still 10 pounds overweight. Well, because not everything changes instantaneously. It's effort and disciplines that God wants to institute inside of us. Jenni Awesome: Mm mm. Mike Dyson: enable in order to walk or to be able to walk this walk out. And that's another word I know people don't like to hear is discipline, but it's a part of it, right? And it's it's the same as being married. When I got married and I stood at that altar, I not only accepted her, and I know John Bevere talks about this, but I also said no to everything else. Right? And because of that, then there are disciplines involved that says no to those things on a consistent basis. Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Yep. Yep. Mike Dyson: And it's the same with God that there are disciplines that he wants to institute in us till we become stewards of what he's given us, and we become stewards of the fruit of the spirit as we encounter these moments. So we don't fly off the handle when someone's not kind to us and or whatever those type of things are. This is what he wants us to be as kingdom-minded kingdom people. Jenni Awesome: Mm-hmm. Yes. So I know we're getting closer to our time. I want to make sure that do you have anything else on your heart that you would like to make sure that we we share today? Mike Dyson: I just want to make sure people know there's hope, right? because that's the main thing about this book is to know that that it you feel hopeless if you're in something that feels like it's whatever, you feel drowning, you're in darkness. It could be a gamut of different feelings that you have. It could be marriage related, individually related, it could be work-related, it could be all different. I've experienced many of those things. I just want you to know there's hope. All right, but there is a part of just leaning. It doesn't require a lot. It doesn't mean you have to do a whole you don't have to move to Africa for this. It's not like you got to be a missionary in a foreign country. It's just leaning into God. And if it's surrendering many times at just admitting what you're feeling, it's okay to do that because he already knows. And that if that feeling doesn't align with him, which many times it does not, to say, I know I shouldn't feel this way. Help me change my heart. Help me to be what it is that you've called me to be. Those are the contrite prayers and the prayer of repentant heart. God always moves in that, right? Otherwise you're just being paralyzed by what the enemy's trying to push you down with. And I would just say lastly, rise up. That's really what God's calling us all to do is rise up. And the enemy's trying to say, no, no, sit down. and that's not our posture. Our posture was never meant to sit. He's seated on the throne. We're seated in heavenly places, but we're meant to walk this walk out here while we're here. Jenni Awesome: Yeah. Well, Mike, it has been an absolute pleasure having you on the podcast today. And do you want to and what is your website again? How do we find you? Mike Dyson: I enjoyed it, I appreciate it for sure. my website is Mike Dyson, just my name like the vacuum, Mike Dyson, D Y S O N Author dot com. and then my book again is on Amazon called The Shadow by Mike Dyson. And if anybody has questions or they want to ask me questions, I'll be happy to respond. They just email me through that. There's a contact page on there, or they can do it at info at Mike Dyson Author.com. Jenni Awesome: Well yeah. Well, thank you again, Mike. It's been an absolute pleasure speaking with you today. My heart is full and I can't wait to get this out there for everyone else to hear. Mike Dyson: well thanks. I really appreciate it again. Thank you. Jenni Awesome: All right.