Latest / ok storytime / My mother-in-law STOLE our wedding money… to build her own house! -r/motherinlawsfromhell | Reddit Stories | EP3090

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My mother-in-law STOLE our wedding money… to build her own house! -r/motherinlawsfromhell | Reddit Stories | EP3090 · ok storytime

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Dakota.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: And this is Kion, your favorite OK Storytime host, and
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: we've got some great stories coming right up.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: But before that, we have a quick two-minute break from
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  Speaker 1: the sponsors that keep the show alive.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: My mother-in-law stole our wedding money to build her own house.
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: Hey, that's ours!
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: Today, I ended the Cold War with this woman. You
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: single-handedly ended the Cold War. Thank you for your service.
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: I was gonna say that.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: My mother-in-law probably has NPD. For two years, she tried
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: to convince herself and my dear husband that he wasn't
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: truly in love with me, only my money. LOL. Then
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: she stole every wedding gift meant for us and built
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: herself a nicer house. When we confronted her, the lies
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: multiplied like roaches. I wanted permanent no contact the moment
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: the wedding ended. Dear husband drowned in guilt. Everyone else
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: begged us to forgive and forget to just preserve the
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: family facade. Today, I finally said enough. I sent her
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: the raw truth that I'd been hiding in my notes
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: for months, and I feel so good, like a big
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: weight off my shoulder. I was literally dancing from the relief. So,
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: quick context. She's widowed, and dear husband and brother-in-law never
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: knew their father, who passed away when they were babies.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: She weaponizes this as the archetype of a struggling single mother,
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: though she had extended family support, so the narrative isn't
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: entirely accurate. She thinks the world revolves around her. And
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: in retrospect, I was the first real threat to her kingdom.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: I like how OP writes. OP, you seem fun.
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: So dramatic, but it's... But it's true.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user UnfairPiglet9730. And if
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: you want to submit your own stories, go to the
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Keon.
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: And I'm Savannah.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: And we're Goofy Goobers. Look at us. We don't know everything.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: Does it look like we do? Because we don't. So
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: we only know what we do. Let us know what
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: you do in the comments down below as OP says.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: When we decided to get married, dear husband first showed
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: her my photo. I was abroad. Are you still now?
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: Her reaction is, she's fat. She'll struggle with fertility. Dear
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: husband then lied to me for weeks that she was happy.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: Ashamed of her response before finally coming clean. I fly
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: home for Christmas and we go to dinner with dear husband, brother-in-law,
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: and mother-in-law. I bring two beautiful clothing items as gifts.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: She brings nothing. Says exactly two short sentences, one being,
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: happy to meet you, then takes a pass at dear
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: husband for choosing a bar for dinner. Dear husband tells
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: her he's proposing, and she melts down. She says, too soon.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: You don't really love her. It's her money. Somehow, she
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: convinced herself I was very wealthy, which I'm not. I
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: just started working at a young age. She loves to
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: hide money, while my family's perspective is that money is
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: enjoyed and is shared. Not hoarded. Dear husband begs for
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: her support and gets months of gaslighting, saying, I love you,
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: but I still have doubts. Our traditional ceremonies revolve a
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: lot around parents, so her absence was, it was felt.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: She refuses to meet my parents on the proposal day,
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: despite agreeing earlier, and refuses to attend the engagement dinner
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: her side was supposed to throw, likely asking other family
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: just not to come. The only person that shows up
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: from my dear husband's side is brother-in-law. We give her
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: a silent two-month deadline and book everything anyway, ready to
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: proceed without her. Three months after dates are locked, she
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: demands that I visit. In front of her family and friends,
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: she lies that we got engaged without telling her and
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: thanks us for finally making it right. Mind you, she
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: is a church deacon, so the lying took me by surprise,
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: but I took it for the peace. Take pause there.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: What is your husband doing?
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, is he just like not reacting to any of this?
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: That's just how she is. That's just my mom. That's
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: how my mommy is.
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: Oh, disrespectful and annoying. Got it.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: Her only real contribution to planning was lobbying us not
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: to have booze at the wedding. My parents made it
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: clear it was our choice, and they supported whatever we wanted. So,
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: OP titles this The Theft. In our culture, a wedding
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: is usually 100% funded through your community. Relatives collect the
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: money for you, and we announced every single contribution in
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: a group. My side came through with sacrifices and raised $ 20, 000.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: Every cent announced with gratitude. That's crazy. For context, the
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: guy's family should do the most. Mother-in-law said she'd handle
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: her side, so here's the first batch. 2,000 collected. She
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: transfers about 1.7K, shares the list like a saint, then silence.
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: No more money. No more list. And we kept asking.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: She says, it's coming. Meanwhile, she quietly starts a full
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: house building project five months before the wedding. When we
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: share what's needed to pay vendors, she gives nothing. We
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: later learned it all went into her new house. So
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: she took, she only gave you about 1.7. Let's say
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: 1.7 to 2K. And she said, you'll get more. The
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: rest of it went to her house, Savannah. What do
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: you do?
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: I'm so pissed. I'd be like, actually, that's not your money.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: What are you doing?
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: I would immediately confront her. And I would also talk
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: to the husband and be like, why are you saying nothing?
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: I'd be like, oh my gosh, you're giving us a house?
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: A brand new house for our wedding? That's so nice
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: of you.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 5:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: So again, we later learned it all went to her
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: new house. It was the foundation, walls, roof, marble counters.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: Thousands gone. Yet she filled half of our wedding hall
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: with friends dear husband doesn't even know and had us
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: over capacity. She announced quite loudly that this was her
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: wedding as well and has a crazy crying session during
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: the ceremony to just steal the show. And she didn't
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: even wear the outfits rented for the wedding party because
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: she thought I was giving her bad stuff. So, on
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: the day, we fell short about $ 1, 500, which she asked
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: her sister to give us. We thought this was redemptive,
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: only for her to ask us from our honeymoon to
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: pay the sister back. That was the final straw. So,
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: we confronted her, hoping she'd offer to pay the sister
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: back from our stolen money. Of course, she didn't, and
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: her excuses kept changing. And we have a lie list.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: You ready?
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: Oh. Lie number one. Mother-in-law says,' Which money?' The wedding
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: left me in debt. We showed receipts. She never paid
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: a single vendor. Lie number two. She says, I built
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: this for your disabled mom so she'd more easily visit.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: My mom was fine visiting her old house. And LOL,
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: she never made time for a visit anyway. Lie number three.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: Full meltdown, tears, and snot.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: Yummy.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: She says, I did it for you, OP. You wouldn't
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: be embarrassed when people found out where your mother-in-law lives.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: OP's answer? Nope, nobody cared. Her old house was perfectly fine.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: She lies like breathing, and raised your husband to think
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: lies are kindness. As a deacon who preaches truth every Sunday,
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: the hypocrisy was crazy to me. Every time we sit
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: down to talk about it, zero remorse, more gaslighting. She
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: goes on saying, you're exaggerating. I sacrificed for you. You're
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: keeping me from my son. Like I said, I'm 99% sure...
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: She has NPD. She even tries to turn brother-in-law and
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: other family against us. I caught off contact and haven't
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: met with her for 10 months now. We invited her
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: to our wedding anniversary, and she again brought a stranger
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: to a limited seating intimate lunch. When she noticed she
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: was the only one without a gift, she's never given
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: me anything to date, she asked to speak and promised
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: us a gift in front of everyone. Is it the
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: house that she built? Probably not.
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I doubt it.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: Opie continues saying, of course, it never came. No gift
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: ever came. I want full, permanent, no contact with her.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: I want blocked numbers, no holidays, no future kids ever
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: meeting her until she repays every cent, hands over the
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: donor list, and gets real therapy. And forever if she
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: never does. I want her gone forever. So, last time
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: dear husband talked with her, alone, she agreed to apologize
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: in a letter. I made it clear I'd never be
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: in the same room with her until she changes. So,
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: last week, she reached out asking me to come over.
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: I replied asking about what? And she said a mother
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: and daughter have much to talk about. But I was
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: just done. I sent her my full thoughts and let
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: dear husband know. My husband's reply is, good that you
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: let it out. Your peace and comfort is what matters
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: most to me, babe. This man is an angel and
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: I don't know how he emerged from her.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: Any advice? Well, I mean, you.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: Can do what you're doing right now. Just have contact
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: through your husband. You don't owe her anything. I wouldn't
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: believe a word she says. And I'd be like, hey, hubby.
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: Get the money from her. Give her, give him the
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: list that you told us. And I think that's all fine.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: You have no reason to continue talking to her and
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: deal with her.
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: I don't think she's ever going to respect you in
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: the way that you want. I don't think she's ever
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: going to not give excuses. I feel like that's her
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: go-to is just like excuse after excuse after excuse. It's like,
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: all right, cool. But when the excuses, when you've run
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: out of excuses, we need you to give the money back.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: I'd be like, all right, hubby, if we're going to
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: go have a conversation with her, I'm bringing a lie detector.
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just frustrating to try to do anything with
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: someone like that because.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: They don't... It's talking to a brick wall.
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they're never going to see it from your perspective.
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: It's just going to all be in one ear, out
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: the other. There is no talking to them, no understanding whatsoever.
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: Zero respect, too.
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: Truthfully, with these types of people, you just have to
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: Outright say, listen, we need the money. If you're not
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: going to give us the money, we are going no
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: contact or we are going to sue you or we
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: are going... you know like something something.
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: Something update i tried to go no contact and initially
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: agreed on it with dear husband but when it came
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: time to sign a mini agreement he completely broke down
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: in tears mainly over losing his only living parent so
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: we left it there he chooses not to see her
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: so far but admitted recently that he does miss her
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: We agreed he should read adult children of emotionally immature parents.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: He started, found out he was an internalizer, and sent
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: me notes on patterns he recognized in himself, like lack
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: of accountability, timing issues, and lying to get out of situations.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: And then he stopped reading. The fallout since has been brutal.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: My husband went into silent resentment mode for the last
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: three months. He withheld passion and intimacy, going through the
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: motions of carrying a, you know, a good day text,
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: coffee before I wake, without any of it. no spicy
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: sleep initiation either. He started hanging out a lot with brother-in-law,
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: who's heavily influenced by their mother-in-law. So with Friday outings,
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: where he comes home at 4 a.m. and sleeps through
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: the hangover all day, stealing our quality time.
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: Uh-oh.
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: He swears he isn't doing this to hurt me and
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: didn't hear me crying every night for 10 days straight.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: He agreed in words to read books and do the
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: Gottman love maps exercise with me. But there's zero follow-through.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: Any request to step up gets twisted into me telling
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: him to man up. When I pointed out this is
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: probably the issues with his mom, which he now wishes
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: we'd just swept under the rug, he said I make
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: everything about that, and was mad that I criticized his childhood.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: We finally agreed to a trial separation, except he didn't
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: want separation houses yet, especially when I made it clear
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: he'd be the one moving out. He just suggested separate bedrooms,
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: then asked for a week to try and fix things
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: while looking for accommodations. Is there ever a good ending
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: to a trial separation like this? Especially when the trigger
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: was no contact with a self-absorbed parent and one partner
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: is resisting all growth work? Opie asks, Has anyone seen
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: the resistant spouse finally wake up and do the work
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: once they felt real consequences? Had it turned into a slow,
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: painful divorce but felt relief once you finally moved out?
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: Had any red flags or green flags I should watch
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: for the next one to three months? I'm so tired
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: of being the only one rowing the boat.
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: It just stinks because you try to make him more
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: aware of what was going on, and I think that
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: really brought up a lot of trauma for him, and
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: he does not have an outlet for that. Instead, he's
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: trying to think of ways to deal with it, and
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: I think right now he's so overwhelmed with that because
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: he realizes now, oh, the only parent figure that I
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: had is... you know, has been mistreating me my entire
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: life or whatever. So it's like having that big realization
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: when you're an adult is really, really hard to cope with.
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: And then also not having a good relationship with, you know,
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: said mistreater, you can never get that closure, you know?
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: And I feel like what he's doing now is he,
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: he knows what's happening. He's read the books. He's like
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: informed himself. He is now relating it to his life,
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: going through all these things, but he is not projecting
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: all of his like insecurities and discoveries about himself he's
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: projecting all of that out because he's like well now
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: I know what it is and it just frustrates me
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: and it's coming out at OP OP I don't think
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: that you've done anything wrong you just want you know
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: you want him to be happy with his life and
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: you want him to be happy with you and this
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: mother is getting.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: In the way so uh oh update two He's been
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: seeing his mom and lying about it. Update three. As
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: many are asking, we told Klaus' family on his side
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: about the stealing. They agreed it wasn't okay and said
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: they'd help, only to later ask us to forget about
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: it after they'd talked with her to no avail. Which
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: means basically, she's a terrible woman. But learn to live
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: with it. Update four. My husband moved out two days ago.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: But the night before, we had a very long conversation
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: where he was quite tipsy. He confirmed what I'd long suspected.
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: He's back in his original family fold and trying to
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: justify me as the problem to reconcile with them. He
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: asked me why I sent a nasty message to his mom,
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: that she's now showing it to the family to prove
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: how bad I am. The very same message he applauded
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: me for sending it last year, which he couldn't remember
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: we discussed and reviewed.
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: Dang, this is sad. The whole thing is... I feel
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: like she made him realize, but he doesn't want to...
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: It's kind of picking and choosing, do I want to
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: be on the right side or the wrong side? And
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: he is like, well, I've done the wrong side my
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: entire life, and I'm used to it, so I don't
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: want to change.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: You know what this feels like? A tug of war.
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: There's a little bit left here. Let's go ahead and
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: finish it up. Opie continues saying, but the universe has
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: a weird way of working. Amid a wave of emotion...
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: I found and showed him the text where he endorsed
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: that message and emphasized my comfort was his priority. Thank
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: God he can't gaslight me on this. I asked him
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: to apologize now that he sees the text. He didn't.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: He also can't believe me when I say there's no
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: way she'd show an undoctored message, which would reveal her stealing.
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: We do have a therapy session tomorrow, but it does
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: feel like this is the end. I need to come
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: to terms that he is two people. The person he
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: wanted to be with me, and was for a while,
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: but who requires a lot of effort. and the person
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: he was most of his life, with his a-hole mom.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: Other family on his side have shared their own horror
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: stories of what mother-in-law did to them. The fact that
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: they'll all accept that she's a monster, but feel there's
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: nothing they can do is exactly why I don't want
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: to be a part of this family anymore. I once
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: believed your husband was the unique one out of that fold,
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: but I was mistaken indeed. And that is the end
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: of that story.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: Dang!
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, OP. I mean, at least you get out
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: of it now, rather than just continuing to be lied to.
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: and manipulated through her, through him. You know what? Let
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: him be manipulated by his mom. You cannot save him
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: because he does not want to be saved. And that's
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: the end of this story. We're good to go. On
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: to the next one.
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: My mother-in-law gifted a plant that broke our garden plan,
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: so I said no.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: That's not very green of her.
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: My partner and I are in the process of doing
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: a full renovation of our backyard. We have made a
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: lot of compromises about the direction we are doing to
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: ensure we both get some of what we want. My
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: part of the bargain is that the small garden space
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: we do have will be dedicated to entirely native plants
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: that help support the local ecosystem. I am somebody who
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: is very passionate about native gardening. In my area, we
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: have a nitrogen pollution crisis and population declines of birds
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: and pollinators in that region. I have completely planned out
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: a garden we will be planting in the fall of
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: native plants that will thrive in the soil we have
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: without any amendments or fertilizers, all of which support pollinators
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: and birds throughout the year, won't require any watering beyond
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: rainfall once established in the ground, and will look beautiful.
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: I compromised a lot on how big the gardens would be,
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: among other things, on the guarantee that we would maintain
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: a fully native garden. My partner and I even had
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: discussions about how gifted plants would not be an exception
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: to this. By the way, this comes from JackfruitAwkward7504, and
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own stories, go to
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: the r slash ok story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: I'm Keon.
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: And we're here to give some good advice goofily, but
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: we don't have all the answers. We'd only tell you
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: what we would do, so let us know what you
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: would do down in the comments. As Opie says, fast
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: forward to my partner's birthday. His parents gifted him cash,
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: but his mom is the type who wants to always
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: include a small physical gift. And this time she chose
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: to gift him with an ornamental grass to plant in
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: the garden we are building. Not only is the plant
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: not one of the plants that's been selected for the garden,
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: it's not native. It would require us to amend the
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: soil we have to support it. It does nothing to
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: support local wildlife. and its sun requirements would stipulate rearranging
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: the whole garden plan in order to accommodate it. It's
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: a small plant that only costs a few bucks. I
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: have previously had multiple conversations with mother-in-law about the gardens
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: we are planting, why it's important to me to have
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: a native garden, etc. Well, when she gifted the plant,
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: I researched what we would need to do in order
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: to keep this as a house plant, what window it
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: had to go in, and checked to make sure it
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: was non-toxic to my cat. I set up for success
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: in our south-facing window, and even my cat loves it. Well,
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: she has now protested this, stating that it's meant to
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: be an outside plant, so it should go in the
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: garden we are putting together. I explained how it doesn't
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: fit the criteria for our gardens we had discussed, so
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: it wouldn't be going there, but we were happy to
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: keep it as a houseplant where it could still thrive.
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: I hope she understands.
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like this is not really a big issue. Like...
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: She just, she wants to be a part of your thing.
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: I guess if you could have like sent her something,
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: but you had it all planned. Like she wasn't in
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: the plans and that's on her. If she gets mad,
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: she knows that you have a plan. You know, you
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: have a plan. Your husband knows you have a plan.
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: So it's like, or your partner knows you have a plan.
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: So like, I don't understand why it's, you know, she's
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: making it a huge deal about nothing.
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: I hope he just doesn't like, great that you're doing this.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: I love this huge green thumb you are. But she
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: needs to understand it doesn't belong there. I like the consideration.
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: Thank you for your consideration. Maybe give her a list
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: of what plants you guys do have or what she
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: could get next time to add if she really wants
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: to be a part of that ecosystem or that, you know,
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: your lovely, you know, planting ideas. But that plant's not
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: one of them.
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, truthfully, I think she definitely wanted to help. And
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: just say she had like a part in it because
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: she sees how passionate you are and she wants to
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: help you out. But it just, you know, she didn't
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: buy the right things and it just wasn't the right
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: criteria for what you needed. Which is not bad, but
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: then she can't get mad when she didn't buy, you know,
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: the things that you need for what you have envisioned
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: in your mind for what you want. And that's not
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: anyone's fault. I feel, you know, she could have asked
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: me like, oh, what do you need? What do you need?
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: But I'm sure OP, you seem like you have it
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: all down and you would want to pick them out
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: and you would want to buy it and all this stuff.
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: It seemed like you were very set in stone in
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: what you want. So I don't understand why she would
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: be like, here's a random plant. Here you go. And
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: also it's not like you just threw it away or
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: it was just like, oh, sorry, we can't have that.
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: You know, it's just an inside. It's just a house plant.
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: You go, hey, there are outside plants and inside plants.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: Very easy.
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: My partner is on my side about this, as we
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: did have multiple conversations and agreements about this, and he
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: recognizes the compromises I've made to make sure he has
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: all the concrete patio and lawn space he wants, so
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: he wants to hold up his end of the deal.
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: But it clearly has hurt his mom's feelings, as she
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: was really hoping to have a plant she gifted him
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: put into the garden, which makes me feel like an a-hole.
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: Just give her a list. Just give her a list
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: of plants that you can have outside.
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: I don't think she's an a-hole. And also, give her,
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: you know, maybe if she wants to help, be like, oh,
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: if you want to come over and, you know, help
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: us plant.
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: I'd be scared. I'd be scared of someone that doesn't
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: know what they're doing.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: Well, I don't know.
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: You can get like, Like decor or something.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: I would give her a list of things that you
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: do need.
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, if she really truly wants to help.
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: I don't think that it's a bad thing. You're still
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: using it. So I think this is all on her.
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: You're doing what you want. It's your house. You can
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: do what you want. Yeah, it's your garden.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: This is your passion project. Only you and your husband
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: should be doing your passion project. Until it's done and
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: you know, oh, people can go around it. And that's
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: the end of this story. We're going to go on
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: to the next one. My boyfriend invited his friend on
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: our couple's trip, so I invited mine as well.
• 22:08
  Speaker 4: I guess if we're just inviting whoever we want.
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: It's a friend's trip now. I've been sitting on this
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: for a week because my boyfriend is still upset with
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: me about it. My boyfriend and I planned a trip together,
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: just the two of us. About a month before, he
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: asked if his best friend Marcus can join, since Marcus
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: was going through a rough time and needed a break.
• 22:27
  Speaker 4: Okay, a break, not with us. Take a break, away
• 22:32
  Speaker 4: from us.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: I wasn't thrilled, but I agreed because I wanted to
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: be supportive. When we started discussing costs, Marcus assumed we
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: split everything three ways, including the accommodation that I had
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: already booked and partially paid for on my own card
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: before he was even invited. I pointed that out and
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: he said he needed to cover his share of the
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: room going forward, but the initial deposit was already split
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: between me and my boyfriend. Marcus got annoyed and made
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: a comment that I was being petty about money and
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: that this is why couples should not invite outsiders if
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: they are going to make them feel like a burden.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: My boyfriend laughed it off.
• 23:06
  Speaker 4: This is why you shouldn't have tried to join our
• 23:09
  Speaker 4: couple trip. Also, I don't fully understand what OP just did.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: Me neither.
• 23:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so he says let's split three ways and then
• 23:16
  Speaker 4: she's like, no.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: I already paid for it.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: I don't understand.
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: So you still can't split that?
• 23:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah, just say like, okay, this is what you would,
• 23:24
  Speaker 4: this is the cost that you'd be splitting with us.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't see the issue. Yeah, it's a very
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: just like, okay, cool.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: Weird.
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user Vena Silver. If
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: you want to submit your own stories, go to the
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Keon.
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: I'm Sophia. And I'm Savannah.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: And we're here to give good advice goofily. It's okay.
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: We only make mistakes sometimes. That's all we do. We all,
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: we all, we're all human here. We don't know everything.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: We only know what we do. So let's know what
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: you do in the comments down below. Please. As Opie says.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: So I told Marcus calmly that if he felt like
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: a burden, maybe it wasn't the right trip for him.
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: He took that as me uninviting him and told my
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: boyfriend I punted him out. Now my boyfriend is saying
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: I was too harsh and that Marcus was already having
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: a hard time. I did not explicitly uninvite him, but
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to chase him either. My boyfriend thinks
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: I owe Marcus an apology. I don't think I do.
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: Am I the a-hole?
• 24:16
  Speaker 4: Honestly, you should have said no in the first place.
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: You should have said no in the first place. You
• 24:21
  Speaker 4: definitely did uninvite him. I agree that he should not
• 24:25
  Speaker 4: go on this trip. I think it's weird. But like,
• 24:27
  Speaker 4: if someone said, maybe you shouldn't come if you feel
• 24:30
  Speaker 4: like a burden, that's an uninvite.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: Not that it's not reasonable.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: This all just seems very petty. I think everyone is
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: just being petty here and not knowing how to communicate properly.
• 24:38
  Speaker 4: Like in the future, just OP, just say, I don't
• 24:40
  Speaker 4: want him to come on our trip. Maybe we can
• 24:42
  Speaker 4: do another trip with him. This was supposed to be
• 24:44
  Speaker 4: our thing.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, your boyfriend should have been like, hey, Marcus is
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: having a rough time.
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: Can I do something with him?
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: When I get back or like... It's weird. Yeah, this
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: is all weird. We have some comments.
• 24:56
  Speaker 4: Oh boy.
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: Commenter LP, I need clarity on something. Were you telling
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: Marcus not to worry about his portion of the deposit
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: because it was already paid? If so, I'm not understanding
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: his reaction. Opie says, What? Commenter replying to that says, Wait,
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: he wanted to split everything three ways, but you were
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: arguing that the deposit was already split with your boyfriend,
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: so he'd only pay for his share going forward? So
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: wasn't he trying to give you more money? Why would
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: you not want him to pay a third of the
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: total cost? I feel like I'm missing something here, which
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: we are too.
• 25:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it was approached very strangely.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: Opie says, Fair point. And I see the confusion. The
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: issue wasn't the math. It was that he assumed he
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: was coming at all without even asking if I was
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: okay with it, and then acted like I was being
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: difficult when I explained how the deposit worked. The entitlement
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: of the whole thing is what got me, not the
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: number specifically. That didn't clear anything for me.
• 26:05
  Speaker 4: I didn't clear anything up for me, OP.
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: If anything, that added more confusion.
• 26:08
  Speaker 4: Honestly, I think he might've just been confused.
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: OP just went, I drew this much clearer for you, right?
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah. No.
• 26:14
  Speaker 4: Honestly, if we're this confused, like everyone seems to be confused.
• 26:18
  Speaker 4: I think the friend was also confused. I think Marcus
• 26:21
  Speaker 4: was confused too. And he was like, this is weird.
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: Why are you reacting this way?
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: He was like, you guys invited me on your trip
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: last minute. I'm more than happy to split it. Three ways.
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know.
• 26:31
  Speaker 4: Maybe he was confused.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: I need to hear how Opie delivered it, too. Because
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: imagine being like, hey, I want to split it three ways.
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: And you'd be like, no, it's already been paid for,
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: so just pay for whatever's going forward. I'd be like, what?
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: Update three days later without any, with more confusion than clarity.
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: So I had the conversation with my boyfriend. I told
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: him calmly that I felt blindsided by the Marcus invite,
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: that his laughing off the comment hurt me, and that
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: I needed to understand why his first instinct was to
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: invite a friend on what was supposed to be a
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: couple's trip. My boyfriend got defensive at first, said I
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: was making a big deal out of nothing and that
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: he just wanted to help a friend. When I pushed
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: on the laughing thing specifically, he didn't really have an answer.
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: Just said he didn't think it was that serious. And
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: that told me a lot, honestly.
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: Okay?
• 27:19
  Speaker 4: Weird. Weird.
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: I think we're taking things way too, we're reading into
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: things way too much. Yeah.
• 27:24
  Speaker 4: It does seem Duchess, yeah, Duchess Cassandra is saying, did
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: OP's boyfriend invite Marcus on the trip without OP's input?
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 27:32
  Speaker 4: It seems like what happened is OP said, hey, Marcus,
• 27:35
  Speaker 4: do you want to come on this trip? And then
• 27:37
  Speaker 4: went to OP and said, hey, I invited Marcus. Are
• 27:40
  Speaker 4: you okay with that? And then OP was like, um,
• 27:43
  Speaker 4: I guess. And then Marcus was like, all right, we're
• 27:47
  Speaker 4: going to split three ways. And OP was like, actually,
• 27:49
  Speaker 4: just pay for three ways going forward. And he was like,
• 27:52
  Speaker 4: what the frick?
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: I want to hear how OP said it. Because Marcus
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: replied with, couples trips, I didn't want to be a burden.
• 28:00
  Speaker 2: And then OP said, yeah, okay, that is a burden. Yeah. Yeah.
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: And then Opie's boyfriend laughed it off.
• 28:08
  Speaker 4: I think we're missing information.
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: Some context or what's going on.
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: A whopping info dump.
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, this, it's not, I mean, it's kind of adding,
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: but not adding. Yeah.
• 28:21
  Speaker 4: See if there's anything more that clears everything up.
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: I don't know. Opie's comment saying he just said he
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: did not think it was that serious because I don't
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: think it was that serious either. That told me a lot. Honestly, that's,
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 28:34
  Speaker 4: Told me nothing.
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: You told me zero things. Added more confusion. Let's go
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: ahead and get more confused, I guess. So, Marcus is
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: not coming on the trip. That part is settled. But
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: things between me and my boyfriend feel different now. I'm
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: not ready to make any big decisions, but I'm also
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: not pretending everything is fine. I texted my friend about
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: possibly joining me on the trip instead. She said yes immediately.
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: So whatever happens, I'm not canceling on myself. Thank you
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: to everyone who commented, especially the ones who told me
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: to slow down and talk first before assuming the worst.
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: That was the right call. I just needed to hear it.
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: So you did exactly what your boyfriend did. OP, I'm
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: kind of annoyed at you. You said Marcus can't come,
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: but my friend can.
• 29:17
  Speaker 4: Well, I think it's it's not a I don't think
• 29:19
  Speaker 4: it's like my friend is coming with us. I think
• 29:23
  Speaker 4: it's my boyfriend or my friend is coming. Whoever is
• 29:27
  Speaker 4: still around by the time we go on the trip.
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: I am Confucius.
• 29:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know how to help you because I
• 29:34
  Speaker 4: don't understand what your problem is.
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: The funniest thing here is, thank you to everyone who commented,
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: especially the ones who told me to slow down and
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: talk first before assuming the worst. That was the right call.
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: So you didn't do that.
• 29:48
  Speaker 4: I don't know what to tell you, OP. This is weird.
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: on to the next one.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite good time boy host here.
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: We're going to get back to the stories, but here's
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: three minutes of ads from our sponsors.
• 30:03
  Speaker 3: My girlfriend borrowed rent money from me while planning to leave.
• 30:07
  Speaker 4: I'm confused.
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: My relationship with my girlfriend, 23 female, has been deteriorating
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: over the last one and a half years. I, 24 male,
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: am in school for engineering, just graduated. and I have
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: an intense extracurricular team that takes up almost all of
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: my spare time. I have been on this team since
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: before I knew her. She had been growing increasingly depressed
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: and anxious, a known illness of hers, with me gone
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: all the time, and started hanging out with people at
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: an upper-year residence on campus. There was some old engineering friends,
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: a group of French people, she's from Quebec, so she
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: fit in and spoke French. And she also went to
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: her ex-boyfriend's house occasionally, but they broke up because he
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: realized he was attracted to the same gender.
• 30:57
  Speaker 4: So that was okay. Back to cool.
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: That is a wave of a lot.
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: That was a lot of information.
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: That was a rollercoaster of emotions.
• 31:05
  Speaker 4: I did a whole 360 right there, but I stopped
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: in the middle.
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: I've been worried about this sort of thing because she
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: was hanging out with guys and girls. I don't know,
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: for long periods of time, late into the night and
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: overnight sometimes. I would be pulling an all-nighter and out
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: till like 4 a.m. The day before we left, I
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: go to Gmail and her account auto-logs in. I see
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: an email from one of the French guys whose name
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: I recognize. I forget what exactly I saw. Heart, I
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: miss you, I love you, etc.
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: But I opened it.
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: She's an affectionate person and says these things to other
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: friends of hers, and I really wanted to not overreact...
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: Before we left. So I didn't read more or say anything.
• 31:46
  Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Big Great White.
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: And if you want to submit your own stories, go
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: to the r slash okay story time subreddit.
• 31:51
  Speaker 4: I'm Savannah. I'm Sophia.
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: I'm Keon.
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: We're here to give some good advice goofily, but we
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: don't really know what that means sometimes. So we're just
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: going to say what we know. And then you're going
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: to say what you know. And then that'll be all.
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: As OP says, well, we got here last night. Today
• 32:08
  Speaker 3: she leaves for the bachelorette party. She is maid of honor.
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: And I load up the email again, only to see
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: her inbox this time with a subject, one last pic, heart.
• 32:18
  Speaker 4: Well, and there we go. And there's the proof, and
• 32:21
  Speaker 4: it's over. Also, who's sending, I'm sorry, who's sending spicy
• 32:25
  Speaker 4: pics on email? That's so weird.
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: And obviously I click on it. So there is Fhead's
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: French effing face and butt via mirror fresh out the shower.
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: So more digging showed more lies, more cheating, maybe not
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: spicy sleep, but enough to break up over even once.
• 32:44
  Speaker 3: A potentially not attracted to the same gender ex-boyfriend who
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: she'd been spicy related with and plans to move out
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: of our apartment.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: Okay, okay.
• 32:51
  Speaker 4: So all of the email digging showed that she had
• 32:54
  Speaker 4: been doing all that.
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: Yikes.
• 32:56
  Speaker 4: And that's over. And that's when you go, oh, okay.
• 32:59
  Speaker 4: Relationship's done. I don't know why people do this.
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: Just go be with someone else.
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: For real.
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: For real.
• 33:06
  Speaker 4: I really don't, I don't get it.
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: They like the attention.
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I just don't, I don't understand that.
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: They like a placeholder, you know?
• 33:13
  Speaker 4: Like you can't be alone. You're so scared of being
• 33:15
  Speaker 4: alone that you need to have like 50 people.
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: She had actually been paying a guy to sublet at
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: his place without my knowledge and had run out of
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: money and borrowed money from me to pay our rent.
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: I still don't have it back and she probably owes
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: me a lot of money over the years for stuff.
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: So advice on the financials too would be great. Well,
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: now it's officially over for me, but she has no
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: idea what I know. She's not here and I'm stuck
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: an eight hour drive from our shared apartment. I know
• 33:45
  Speaker 3: she'll have a breakdown because these people she replaced me
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: with are all gone, graduated, moved, or gone back to
• 33:50
  Speaker 3: French land. Except the one I think she didn't have
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: relations with. who she was subletting with. I don't want
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: to have to deal with her or see her pretty
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: much ever again, let alone entertain her and her parents
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: for a week, go to a wedding with people I
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: don't know, only know the bride, albeit through her, but
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: that's why I'm not already on the road. And pretend
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: to want to have spicy sleep with her lying self.
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: So what do I do once we get back? What
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: happens to the stuff we purchased together? I'm in Ontario.
• 34:22
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: I say go to that wedding. Go have fun.
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: No.
• 34:27
  Speaker 4: With her?
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: Go have fun. Go get free food. Go get drinks.
• 34:31
  Speaker 4: You can't have fun when you're with your cheating ex.
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: Go break up with her, but then flirt with another one.
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: No, I would immediately like, I'd be like, hey, listen,
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: I can't do this. I just found everything. And that
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: really just took me for a loop. And I have
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: to remove myself now from the situation. Have fun with
• 34:50
  Speaker 3: whatever you're going to do. Yeah, we can figure out.
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: Well, I'd be like, where's the money first? Yeah. Before
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: I confront her, I'd be like, hey, honey, you've been
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: saying you need to pay this back. Can I get
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: that now?
• 35:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I need that now.
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: And then once you get it, you're like, so now
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: that we got the money out of this, I caught
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: you cheating.
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: In other news, I don't know if you knew, but
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: I saw your email. There's no little teeny tiny thing
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: I like to bring up.
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: Start speaking French.
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: Update.
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: Well, Reddit, this was a pretty easy conclusion and almost
• 35:20
  Speaker 3: all of your advice was relevant. After forwarding myself emails
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: about all these issues from her account, I asked her
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: mom if I could sit down with her because we
• 35:29
  Speaker 3: needed to talk. I told her about the picture, the emails,
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: the sublet, just about everything. She was immediately on my
• 35:36
  Speaker 3: side and was only apologetic that it had to end
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: this way. Her dad was the same way after he
• 35:42
  Speaker 3: was invited in to hear the story. I told them
• 35:45
  Speaker 3: I was going to head back alone and move out,
• 35:47
  Speaker 3: and they understood. Her dad gave me a check for
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: the next month's rent to pay me back for the
• 35:51
  Speaker 3: rent she owed me, as well as some extra for
• 35:54
  Speaker 3: the partial rent slash random stuff I paid for. I
• 35:57
  Speaker 3: told him that wasn't necessary and I expected to lose
• 36:00
  Speaker 3: it as the cost of the relationship, but he insisted.
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: They liked me and were clearly sad to see me go.
• 36:06
  Speaker 3: So I left, still without telling her what I knew.
• 36:09
  Speaker 3: She kept texting me periodically from her mom's American phone,
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: and the morning I left, all I said was, check
• 36:14
  Speaker 3: your Gmail. She replied, mine or my mom's, because she
• 36:18
  Speaker 3: was on her mom's phone. I said, yours, August 28th,
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: the date of the picture, and that was it. I
• 36:27
  Speaker 3: was on the road. A few phone calls that I
• 36:29
  Speaker 3: ignored came right after. She was on her way home,
• 36:32
  Speaker 3: and I knew when she got there, she would see
• 36:34
  Speaker 3: me gone, and her parents would explain what happened. I
• 36:36
  Speaker 3: got a long text from her basically saying that she
• 36:38
  Speaker 3: was sorry, never slept with anyone else, it was an
• 36:41
  Speaker 3: emotional cheating, not a physical one, though it's hard to
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: believe she didn't kiss or cuddle, clode or unclode with
• 36:47
  Speaker 3: this guy, and that it was all an emotional outlet.
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: She finally confessed her mental issues with her parents and
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: she agreed to go to therapy. This was long overdue
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: as these issues have clearly been brewing inside of her
• 36:59
  Speaker 3: a long time. I couldn't help her as I'm not
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: a professional trained to deal with these sorts of things.
• 37:05
  Speaker 3: She said she knew it was wrong all along and
• 37:07
  Speaker 3: she felt bad doing it, but that it was sort
• 37:10
  Speaker 3: of like a form of relief for her. Silently sabotaging
• 37:13
  Speaker 3: our relationship was the best thing she had in her life.
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: We talked the next day on the phone for almost
• 37:18
  Speaker 3: two hours. I was still angry, but I didn't project
• 37:22
  Speaker 3: it at her. I was stern, however, and made sure
• 37:24
  Speaker 3: she knew how wrong she was in all this. How
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: I felt being dragged along for almost a year as
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: the outlet for the anger and aggression while the love
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: and affection was projected elsewhere. We talked about her issues
• 37:37
  Speaker 3: and I told her that therapy was the best thing
• 37:39
  Speaker 3: she could do and how much I hoped that she
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: would put her full effort into it. Don't hold back
• 37:45
  Speaker 3: talking about the issues she never talked about and how
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: I really want her to get better for herself. As
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: crappy as this was, it may have improved her life.
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: It will definitely improve it. I told her there was
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: a reason I started dating her. There's a person I
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: love inside, but she is not that person anymore. She
• 38:02
  Speaker 3: wants to keep in contact and wished maybe in the future,
• 38:05
  Speaker 3: once she's better, if we could at least be friends.
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: If not, try this again.
• 38:09
  Speaker 4: The person you love inside is inside someone else.
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: Matryoshka doll.
• 38:16
  Speaker 4: She's like a Matryoshka. The person you love is inside her,
• 38:19
  Speaker 4: and the person she loves is also inside her.
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: I didn't dismiss contact, but I made it clear that
• 38:26
  Speaker 3: this breach of trust cannot be forgiven. There's a little
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: bit left here. I mean, I think in the long run, yeah,
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: you did everything you could. It's not like you did
• 38:35
  Speaker 3: anything wrong. You left at the right time. You know,
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: obviously you had no idea that any of this was happening.
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: So I think from knowing all this information and that
• 38:45
  Speaker 3: was how you went about it, I think you did
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: everything right.
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: I think you did it in a very mature way.
• 38:49
  Speaker 4: Just date someone in Ontario from now on.
• 38:53
  Speaker 3: I believe she will be attending the wedding and returning
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: to school, which she said was a blessing that her
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: parents didn't pull her out and make her stay in
• 38:59
  Speaker 3: the U.S.
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: With them.
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: She wants to focus on that, stop smoking and drinking,
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: and start being active and creative like she used to.
• 39:07
  Speaker 3: I supported this 100%. All in all, it was a
• 39:11
  Speaker 3: rollercoaster ride to say the least. In the end, I'm
• 39:14
  Speaker 3: sad but also relieved. I saw the light at the
• 39:17
  Speaker 3: end of the undergraduate tunnel. But she couldn't, so now
• 39:21
  Speaker 3: I'm out of a toxic relationship and she is getting
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: much needed help. I'm moving out, starting a new job,
• 39:26
  Speaker 3: getting a place with friends, and beginning a new chapter
• 39:29
  Speaker 3: of my life. I think I'm going to stay single
• 39:31
  Speaker 3: for a while.
• 39:33
  Speaker 4: Nice.
• 39:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you should.
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: OP, very, very mature.
• 39:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah, super, super mature.
• 39:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think, I think you went about it. Great.
• 39:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah, absolutely. I think you did everything you could. It's
• 39:46
  Speaker 4: really nice that her parents were on your side. I
• 39:49
  Speaker 4: like that.
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what you do? Treat yourself to some poutine,
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: get some ketchup chips, and hang out with your buds.
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: on to the next one.
• 39:59
  Speaker 4: I hooked up with my classmate for months, and she
• 40:02
  Speaker 4: had a family all along?
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: That's a very interesting context to start with.
• 40:07
  Speaker 4: Today, I, male 22, have officially ended my college semester...
• 40:12
  Speaker 4: And by next month, or next year technically, I will
• 40:15
  Speaker 4: be transferring into a four-year university. In my class, we
• 40:19
  Speaker 4: were assigned into small groups with other students so that
• 40:22
  Speaker 4: we could work together with several group projects throughout the course.
• 40:26
  Speaker 4: This is how I met Yvonne, female 26. She was
• 40:29
  Speaker 4: part of a group along with Heather and Sahota, all
• 40:32
  Speaker 4: fake names, by the way. She was sort of reserved,
• 40:35
  Speaker 4: but I wouldn't say shy or timid. She was just
• 40:38
  Speaker 4: hesitant to share much about herself. I took the initiative
• 40:41
  Speaker 4: and asked for everyone's phone numbers so we could have
• 40:44
  Speaker 4: a group message. We would set up meetings online through Zoom,
• 40:48
  Speaker 4: but several times we would meet in person when we could.
• 40:51
  Speaker 4: Over time, I took a liking to Yvonne and I
• 40:53
  Speaker 4: noticed she was enjoying my company too. Honestly, the group
• 40:57
  Speaker 4: was a blast and the four of us got along
• 40:59
  Speaker 4: pretty darn well. I was the only male member there,
• 41:02
  Speaker 4: so sometimes they would tease me about it or whisper
• 41:05
  Speaker 4: something and giggle without telling me. It was awkward at first,
• 41:09
  Speaker 4: but I just rolled with it and laughed with them.
• 41:11
  Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from trickedcollegekid404, and if you
• 41:15
  Speaker 4: want to submit your own stories, go to the r
• 41:17
  Speaker 4: slash okstorytime subreddit. I'm Sophia.
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: I'm Dakota.
• 41:20
  Speaker 4: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 41:22
  Speaker 4: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do.
• 41:24
  Speaker 4: So let us know what you would do in the comments.
• 41:27
  Speaker 4: And Obi says, Eventually, I texted Yvonne privately, and we
• 41:31
  Speaker 4: started having our own conversations and even hung out after class.
• 41:35
  Speaker 4: Our class sessions were once a week in person. but
• 41:37
  Speaker 4: we still had to wear masks. One day, we had
• 41:40
  Speaker 4: this really hard rainstorm going on, and I invited her
• 41:44
  Speaker 4: to hang at my apartment since we couldn't talk outside
• 41:46
  Speaker 4: due to the heavy wind and downpour. She accepted. We
• 41:50
  Speaker 4: sat down and watched some videos, ordered food, and then
• 41:54
  Speaker 4: she surprised me with the... We partook in the leaf
• 41:57
  Speaker 4: together on the couch, and that led us to having
• 42:00
  Speaker 4: spicy sleep that night before she left.
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: Dang, look at you go. Okay. Yeah, crazy.
• 42:08
  Speaker 4: This would become our thing. We would hang out, text
• 42:12
  Speaker 4: privately now and then, and sometimes we would go to
• 42:15
  Speaker 4: my place, and every time that happened, we would be
• 42:17
  Speaker 4: intimate at some point, sometimes repeatedly. Okay.
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: Getting it on with that carnal knowledge.
• 42:25
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
• 42:27
  Speaker 4: I made it clear after our first time together that
• 42:29
  Speaker 4: I liked her, but that I was not looking into
• 42:31
  Speaker 4: getting into a relationship. And she agreed that she very
• 42:34
  Speaker 4: much felt the same. So I thought that was that.
• 42:37
  Speaker 4: Why did she feel the same, though? What were her reasons?
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: I mean, did she say she felt the same?
• 42:43
  Speaker 4: She just said that.
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, she feels the same, right?
• 42:47
  Speaker 4: The intimacy went on for nearly two months before slowing
• 42:50
  Speaker 4: down in November. We stopped meeting outside of class after
• 42:54
  Speaker 4: Thanksgiving week. because school project deadlines were closing in and
• 42:57
  Speaker 4: I needed to keep my head focused and get my
• 42:59
  Speaker 4: work done. Last week was our last day in class.
• 43:03
  Speaker 4: As we were all saying our goodbyes, Heather congratulated Yvonne
• 43:06
  Speaker 4: about the good news and hugged her goodbye. I said
• 43:10
  Speaker 4: my goodbyes too, then asked Heather in private, what was
• 43:12
  Speaker 4: the good news she was talking about as we walked
• 43:15
  Speaker 4: to our cars? She looked confused and asked, are you
• 43:19
  Speaker 4: talking about the engagement? My eyes grew ten times their size,
• 43:24
  Speaker 4: and she laughed before explaining that Yvonne's boyfriend finally asked
• 43:28
  Speaker 4: her to marry him after she told him the news,
• 43:32
  Speaker 4: and she said yes.
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: Oh, no. How did that never come up?
• 43:37
  Speaker 4: How did that never come up?
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: Well, I have a feeling she was hiding it.
• 43:41
  Speaker 4: But, like, the other girls knew. They never made an
• 43:44
  Speaker 4: offhand comment like, oh, are you going to go see
• 43:46
  Speaker 4: your boyfriend?
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: Maybe she was hiding it from them as well?
• 43:50
  Speaker 4: No, they just knew about the engagement.
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: No, I mean the fact that she was hanging out
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: with OP.
• 43:54
  Speaker 4: Oh, yes, I absolutely think so.
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: I think maybe she was having a little secret in
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: the dark.
• 43:59
  Speaker 4: I felt my heart drop, but couldn't ask her if
• 44:01
  Speaker 4: Yvonne was in a relationship this whole time. I think
• 44:04
  Speaker 4: we can assume, yeah, if she's got engaged.
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: So did she just meet this guy a week ago?
• 44:11
  Speaker 4: Did she meet this man yesterday?
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: Must have been a real whirlwind, right?
• 44:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah, he's like, that's a really quick engagement, right? Arranged marriage?
• 44:21
  Speaker 4: I just played along and said I would congratulate her later.
• 44:25
  Speaker 4: Then said goodbye and went home. That was last week.
• 44:28
  Speaker 4: I've kept in touch with Heather and Sahota, who I
• 44:30
  Speaker 4: can honestly say we have become friends at this point.
• 44:33
  Speaker 4: I asked Sahota if she knew about the engagement and
• 44:35
  Speaker 4: she said no. that she didn't even know Yvonne was
• 44:38
  Speaker 4: in a relationship. Okay. So we talked to Heather, and
• 44:41
  Speaker 4: I guess the story is that Yvonne slipped and let
• 44:43
  Speaker 4: Heather know by accident that she has had a boyfriend
• 44:46
  Speaker 4: since high school, and that recently her boyfriend decided to
• 44:50
  Speaker 4: celebrate the big news by asking her to marry him,
• 44:53
  Speaker 4: and she accepted. So that's that. I haven't told Sahota
• 44:57
  Speaker 4: or Heather about what Yvonne and I have done, nor
• 45:00
  Speaker 4: have I asked them for advice. I'm too upset to ask.
• 45:04
  Speaker 4: I feel like we have a good friendship going on
• 45:06
  Speaker 4: and that they will judge me negatively for doing that.
• 45:08
  Speaker 4: I mean, you didn't do anything wrong. You were having
• 45:12
  Speaker 4: a consensual relationship with Yvonne.
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: Unless you're Professor X and you could read her mind
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: the whole time, you're pretty much in the clear.
• 45:21
  Speaker 4: So Hoda had this weird look on her face the
• 45:23
  Speaker 4: last time we met, which was when we asked Heather
• 45:25
  Speaker 4: to explain how she knew and not us. I could
• 45:28
  Speaker 4: tell something was off. Heather is Facebook friends with Yvonne,
• 45:32
  Speaker 4: and she showed us her boyfriend's profile while she was
• 45:34
  Speaker 4: explaining the engagement stuff, and that's how I found out
• 45:37
  Speaker 4: they have a son together as well.
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: Oh!
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: Not the children!
• 45:43
  Speaker 4: I honestly would tell Heather and Sahota. I'd be like, ladies, ladies,
• 45:49
  Speaker 4: I need your help.
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: Ladies, I have a little bit of tea for you.
• 45:53
  Speaker 4: Oh, and they would eat it up. Oh my goodness,
• 45:55
  Speaker 4: the other day I was at the climbing gym and
• 45:58
  Speaker 4: this girl behind me was on the phone with her
• 46:01
  Speaker 4: friends and she's like, I don't know anything. I don't
• 46:04
  Speaker 4: know anything, okay guys?
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: But if I did know something, it would be this.
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: But I don't.
• 46:14
  Speaker 4: But I don't know anything. What Heather told us was
• 46:18
  Speaker 4: that she found out through Facebook. It's all there, I guess,
• 46:21
  Speaker 4: including the engagement. Why didn't she tell me this before?
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: Let's run through the Rolodex of possibilities there.
• 46:32
  Speaker 4: She never mentioned being in a relationship or having a child.
• 46:36
  Speaker 4: As of now, only my best friend knows about what's
• 46:38
  Speaker 4: been going on. I told him everything, and he asked
• 46:41
  Speaker 4: me if I plan on telling the boyfriend.
• 46:43
  Speaker 3: I'm nervous.
• 46:44
  Speaker 4: I had no idea she had a family, and now
• 46:47
  Speaker 4: they're engaged? I know it's the right thing to do,
• 46:50
  Speaker 4: but if I tell him, then won't that make me
• 46:52
  Speaker 4: a homewrecker?
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: Nope.
• 46:54
  Speaker 4: Nope, it will not.
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: No, she kind of wrecked the home.
• 46:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: She was kind of the complete package. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
• 47:00
  Speaker 4: If you call... a person to wreck your home for you.
• 47:04
  Speaker 4: You're like, Hey, I'd like to call the home wrecker hotline.
• 47:07
  Speaker 4: And they wrecked the home. They called it in. They
• 47:11
  Speaker 4: called that order in.
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah. How can I relate this to a bank robbery? Like,
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: You aren't a homewrecker. It'd be like if you went
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: to a bank and withdrew money from a bank that
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: you understood was a bank and they're like, we're the bank.
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: And then after you withdrew the money, the bank was like,
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: by the way, we stole all that money, which means
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: you stole that money and we're actually fine.
• 47:39
  Speaker 4: That's just like how this is. This is where my
• 47:42
  Speaker 4: friend had me post here. I just don't know whether
• 47:44
  Speaker 4: I should tell the guy that his girlfriend has been
• 47:46
  Speaker 4: cheating on him for months now. How do you even
• 47:49
  Speaker 4: approach that subject? Am I the bad guy here? Should
• 47:53
  Speaker 4: I tell him or should I let it go and
• 47:55
  Speaker 4: move on? What do I do? And we do have
• 47:57
  Speaker 4: an edit.
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: Well, I think it's time to move on for sure.
• 48:01
  Speaker 3: For 100% sure.
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: 100% sure.
• 48:02
  Speaker 4: Yvonne is in the past. Telling her boyfriend is in
• 48:04
  Speaker 4: the future. And maybe, I don't know, like getting your
• 48:15
  Speaker 4: two girly pops in on this.
• 48:17
  Speaker 2: Yikes.
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: What's best for the child?
• 48:20
  Speaker 4: Well, having kind of not divorced parents, you know.
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: That could be better. Might happen regardless.
• 48:29
  Speaker 4: No, but if they never marry, then they're not divorced.
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: If they never marry, they're not divorced. I don't know.
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: I really do think like the more I come across
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: these situations, the more I think about it. Whenever there
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: is becomes a kid involved, it really becomes a much
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: more complex calculation on what to do. Because like if
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: that kid's life would be better with the income of
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: both of those people. I don't know.
• 48:51
  Speaker 4: Like he'll have both incomes.
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: I think it's unfair to be put in that position
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: where you have to be the arbiter. that now, depending
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: on what trigger you decide to pull, you're now maybe
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: impacting this kid's life to a degree that is so
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: unfair for you to be responsible for. I mean, you're
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: not really responsible because you didn't cause this, but your
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: reaction would then lead to the result that, who knows?
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: It's so stupid, and I hate it. This woman Yvonne,
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: is a terrible, selfish person.
• 49:23
  Speaker 4: I would just tell her boyfriend, and they can decide
• 49:26
  Speaker 4: from there. Edit, I forgot to mention that when I
• 49:29
  Speaker 4: texted her about this, she hasn't responded, and I think
• 49:32
  Speaker 4: she blocked me. Yeah, I wonder why. It's been a
• 49:34
  Speaker 4: week since, and she hasn't texted me back. Update. I
• 49:38
  Speaker 4: read your feedback and planned on taking the weekend to
• 49:40
  Speaker 4: think it over. Some of you said I should tell
• 49:42
  Speaker 4: the husband, boyfriend, the truth, and some of you said
• 49:45
  Speaker 4: I should stay quiet and move on. Well, last night
• 49:49
  Speaker 4: I received a text from an unknown number asking about
• 49:51
  Speaker 4: me by name. I thought it was a friend who
• 49:54
  Speaker 4: was trying to get in touch with me who lost
• 49:56
  Speaker 4: my contact or something.
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: I wasn't thinking.
• 49:58
  Speaker 4: I just answered and gave my name. This person started
• 50:01
  Speaker 4: asking about my relationship with Yvonne and wanted to meet
• 50:05
  Speaker 4: in person. I froze and stopped texting back. So much
• 50:09
  Speaker 4: for deciding whether to tell or not. I caved and
• 50:12
  Speaker 4: called my two friends, Heather and Sahota, but Heather was busy.
• 50:15
  Speaker 4: Sahota visited me earlier, and I told her everything. She
• 50:19
  Speaker 4: suspected something happened between us, but didn't ask out of privacy.
• 50:23
  Speaker 4: Then I showed her the text, and she agreed that
• 50:25
  Speaker 4: it looks fishy and could be the husband.
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: Boyfriend.
• 50:28
  Speaker 4: She's not as close to Yvonne as I thought. They
• 50:31
  Speaker 4: do not text each other much, and they only meet
• 50:33
  Speaker 4: up for the group projects and planning. So only when
• 50:36
  Speaker 4: all four of us were present. When she tried to
• 50:38
  Speaker 4: call Yvonne, the call went straight to voicemail. We think
• 50:41
  Speaker 4: she's blocked too. She said she'll think about what this means,
• 50:45
  Speaker 4: then texted Heather to call me when she's free. Heather
• 50:48
  Speaker 4: is the oldest one in the group and has her
• 50:50
  Speaker 4: own family. She's busy with Christmas shopping today, but she'll
• 50:53
  Speaker 4: be calling tomorrow when she's free. We know she's close
• 50:56
  Speaker 4: with Yvonne since they've met up for lunch dates before,
• 50:59
  Speaker 4: so maybe she could tell us more. We've got a
• 51:02
  Speaker 4: little bit left to this story.
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: Any final thoughts? Hey. Sorry you had to deal with
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: all this. Not fair. Not right.
• 51:11
  Speaker 4: I mean, at this point, though, husband already knows something's up.
• 51:14
  Speaker 4: He clearly suspects that you guys have had a relationship.
• 51:17
  Speaker 4: So I think just tell the truth. And that's all
• 51:21
  Speaker 4: that's all you're obligated to.
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: O.P.
• 51:24
  Speaker 4: Finishes off. Once again, I'm lost and do not know
• 51:27
  Speaker 4: what to do. The future husband is asking to meet
• 51:29
  Speaker 4: in person. And so Hoda and my best friend will
• 51:32
  Speaker 4: call Joe. Agree that if I decide to go, then
• 51:35
  Speaker 4: they will go with me just to be safe. Feels
• 51:37
  Speaker 4: like my choices are fading. I have to decide soon.
• 51:41
  Speaker 4: I will be moving in January a few hours away,
• 51:43
  Speaker 4: so maybe I can do nothing and move on.
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: No.
• 51:46
  Speaker 4: The husband sent one last text asking me to think
• 51:49
  Speaker 4: about it and let them know if I accept. Let
• 51:51
  Speaker 4: them know? Is husband implying that Yvonne is going to
• 51:56
  Speaker 4: be there too?
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: Sounds like it.
• 51:58
  Speaker 4: So we can set up a time and place. I
• 52:00
  Speaker 4: don't know how much he knows about me, But I
• 52:02
  Speaker 4: doubt he knows where I live since he has to
• 52:04
  Speaker 4: meet somewhere. This is getting bad. I feel so stressed
• 52:08
  Speaker 4: right now. I need advice and thoughts on what to do.
• 52:11
  Speaker 4: Just I don't even think you need to meet him.
• 52:13
  Speaker 4: I think you can just say this is what our
• 52:16
  Speaker 4: relationship was. I don't feel super comfortable meeting up with you.
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: Here's proof.
• 52:21
  Speaker 4: And you leave it at that.
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think the less involved you are in this situation,
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: you just need to be the one who's like, hey,
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: I'm an informant. I'm a messenger. I don't need to
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: actually sit down with you and have a discussion. I've
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: already told you. So now you two should work it
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: out between yourselves. I don't need to be involved. In fact,
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: I don't want to be involved. I don't want to
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: see her ever again.
• 52:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah. And leave it at that. Go on with your life. Edit,
• 52:45
  Speaker 4: after thinking it through, I have decided to text the
• 52:48
  Speaker 4: number to verify if it is the husband. I plan
• 52:51
  Speaker 4: on accepting his request to meet in person and tell
• 52:53
  Speaker 4: him the truth. He deserves to know what happened. Thank
• 52:56
  Speaker 4: you for your advice. Okay, well, good luck, Opie.
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: He does know what happened. You told him.
• 53:00
  Speaker 4: He hasn't told him yet.
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: He'll know what happened if you just tell him. You
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: don't have to go meet him. Just tell him.
• 53:05
  Speaker 3: Just text him.
• 53:06
  Speaker 4: It's all good.
• 53:07
  Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 53:09
  Speaker 2: go on to the next one. Hey, it's Keon, your
• 53:12
  Speaker 2: favorite short king. We're going to get back to the stories,
• 53:14
  Speaker 2: but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: My girlfriend blurted a detail about her ex, and now
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: my confidence is wrecked.
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: Why did you tell me that?
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: My girlfriend, 29, female, and I, 32, male, have been
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: together for almost five years now. Things are good between us,
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: but Spice's sleep was always a thing we had to
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: work on. I was almost always the one initiating, and
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: while she would always get into it rather quickly... It
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: would always feel a bit held back. We mostly had
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: the same two positions, and she wouldn't really do any
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: other stuff. Now, I just assumed that's her preference, so
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: I just thought we'd build up or something, but it
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: didn't really go anywhere. Throughout the pandemic and after it,
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: spicy sleep dramatically reduced. I brought it up multiple times,
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: and she said she realizes it's happening, and it's all
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: to do with her, and she wants to fix it,
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: but then we'd be back to square one. Fast forward
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: to a couple weeks ago, through some joke or banter
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: while watching a TV show, she let slip her ex
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: was so big that it hurt sometimes. How did that
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: come out? Size queen.
• 54:22
  Speaker 4: Why did she say that?
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: Who knows? Initially, I laughed it off and went on
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: with my evening, but I'm also a man who grew
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: up during a time of stereotypes and rumors, so it
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: stuck in my brain.
• 54:33
  Speaker 4: He went, ha ha ha.
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: Hey, buddy, you didn't have to add during a time
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: of all those stereotypes and rumors. You're just a man.
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: There is always been that.
• 54:42
  Speaker 4: You're but a man.
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: Men have always been this way. They even put it
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: in the Bible that if it's too big, you're like
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: a gross barbarian. I'm sure everyone always felt the same way.
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: I don't like to just let stuff simmer, so I
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: talked to her about it. And that's how I found
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: out the X was indeed large.
• 55:01
  Speaker 4: Why are we, what?
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: Excuse me, not that much bigger, mind you.
• 55:06
  Speaker 3: But, a little bigger. Why is she telling you this?
• 55:10
  Speaker 4: This is so crazy. Opie's like, yeah, so I went
• 55:13
  Speaker 4: to my girlfriend and talked about how I was feeling insecure,
• 55:16
  Speaker 4: and then she affirmed that I should be insecure.
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: But, you know, so I wasn't good at using it
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: and made her feel bad about it. That was the
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: first edition. Of the talks.
• 55:26
  Speaker 4: Okay, okay.
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: By the way, this edition of Story comes from Throwaway
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: Today 44. If you want to submit your own stories,
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: am Dakota.
• 55:34
  Speaker 4: I'm Sophia.
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: And I am here to read this story, and she
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: is here to read this story, and we are here
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: to say things to you. But you might disagree with
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: the things we say. Let us know in the comments.
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: And OP says, She went into details I didn't ask for,
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: so that put me off, but I thought I'd get
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: over it through communication and all that. But what gets
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: to me is that supposedly... This guy, who is bad
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: at the spicy sleep, but has a massive member, is
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: worth trying to initiate and make the spicy sleep better with,
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: and I'm just okay to be left in the sidelines
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: waiting for the stars to align. Also, the fact that
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: just the detail about him was blurted out in that
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: context makes me uncomfortable. Now, every time she ever made
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: a joke about someone having a big old wiener during
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: our relationship and every remark about liking it rough and
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: needing to be taken immediately connects to him and not us.
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: I mean, it sounds like you guys have made it
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: pretty clear what's going on and what you're into. And
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: it sounds like maybe you guys are completely contrasted in that.
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: You're like, why won't she initiate? And she's like, I
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: want to be hunted down like an animal.
• 56:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah, like it seems like She's just kind of fine
• 56:49
  Speaker 4: with how they're doing it. And he's like, well, she
• 56:51
  Speaker 4: hasn't said anything about it. And just no one's really
• 56:56
  Speaker 4: talking about what they want.
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: Well, Beacon Center News, objectively, I guess this is fine.
• 57:02
  Speaker 1: I didn't assume I'm the king of the world, but
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: I had wished I had stayed blissfully ignorant. To be
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: very clear, before anyone jumps at me, I'm not mad
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: about preferences. I'm not jealous or anything. Well, no, you
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: are a little. I just don't think this is something
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: I should know or be told of. And so let's
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: logic puzzle this. Why don't you feel like it should
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: be told? Because it has made you feel a certain way.
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: What is it that you feel? You feel like a
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: jealous or insecurity in the comparison you're making between you
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: and her ex whose wee-wee was bigger than yours.
• 57:36
  Speaker 4: And why are you insecure about that? Because you're not
• 57:39
  Speaker 4: having the type of spicy sleep that you would like
• 57:41
  Speaker 4: to be having.
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: Exactly. And you feel like it was better with the
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: guy before.
• 57:46
  Speaker 4: And what do you need to do about that?
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: Talk. Also, if I'm not exciting enough to have spicy
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: sleep with, I should just be told so we can
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: both find someone who we fit with. She now insists
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: that the fact that our sleeping life was always lacking
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: had nothing to do with the guy or my performance.
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: And she wants to work on improving our spicy sleeping life.
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: The issue is I kind of lost my drive. Every
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: time I even think about it, the image comes to
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: my mind and I feel inadequate and I remember all
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: the times I was refused because food's almost ready or
• 58:24
  Speaker 1: we just ate maybe later. Maybe the most fair reason
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: of all time, by the way.
• 58:30
  Speaker 3: Or maybe tomorrow.
• 58:32
  Speaker 1: Some words of encouragement or maybe hard truths. Thank you.
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: There's an update. I mean, words of encouragement would just be, yeah,
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: just talk to her. Talk to her.
• 58:41
  Speaker 4: I'm sure you're a big boy.
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: Lay it out in a way where you're not trying
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: to say that you're like a victim of her having
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: an ex like this, or like, just tell her how
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: you feel and that you want to fix it too.
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: I mean, it sounds like you did that. And she
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: said that she wanted to improve on it with you.
• 59:00
  Speaker 4: And you, yeah, you say, Hey, let's sit down. Let's
• 59:02
  Speaker 4: figure out what do you like in the spicy time?
• 59:07
  Speaker 4: Like tell her what you.
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: Like about, Because guys, here's the big secret. All my
• 59:12
  Speaker 1: fellas out there, all five of you watching this. For
• 59:15
  Speaker 1: the ladies, it's all in the mind. It's like 80% mind.
• 59:21
  Speaker 1: You don't need a hammer. You need a chisel. I mean,
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: if you can get the mind in the right place...
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: The equipment is totally fine. But if the mine's not there,
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: it doesn't matter what's down on your undercarriage.
• 59:38
  Speaker 4: I mean, she told you that. She said her ex
• 59:40
  Speaker 4: was bigger and he didn't know how to use it.
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: She said, ah, I didn't even like it.
• 59:44
  Speaker 2: Hurts.
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: It's not necessarily glowing praise. No. First of all, update.
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: Thank you all so much for the answers. I didn't
• 59:52
  Speaker 1: expect this to get traction and it was great to
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: see outside opinions. Thank you for sharing your own stories
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: and giving advice and making jokes to lighten the mood.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: I'll bullet point some things that seem to keep recurring
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: in the comments and details that I wasn't clear on.
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: We decided to try to make it work and are
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: going to therapy. I have made it very clear to
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 1: her how much this affected me and that I don't
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: think I'm emotionally capable of going through this again. She
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: agreed and apologized many times. Second, to those who keep saying,
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: I want my wiener to hurt my girlfriend. Her comment
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: came after years of physical neglect. Years in which the
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: big wee-wee jokes have been told and preferences stated and
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: comments made all now have a different meaning to me.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: There was also a lot of rejection in that time.
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 1: I understand there will always be a bigger fish, so
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: to speak. But if that's what she wants, that's what
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: she should say and go find it. I am fine
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: with people having larger johnsons than me. Some I even respect.
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 1: This is weird.
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 1: I think that's much easier to do when I'm confident
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: in my known Johnson's. I don't want to hurt her
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: or scare her. I want to satisfy. Plus some details
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 1: shouldn't ever be mentioned in relationships because the image burns
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: into your head and it just sort of ruins about
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 1: half of the spicy sleep vibes on any given day.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: I can't explain it more than that. And if you
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: don't get it, it probably means you never had to
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 1: experience this. And I hope you never do. A few
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 1: people mentioned I didn't say anything about the quality of
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: a spice. And I'm sorry for that. We never left
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: the bed without her blowing her O-ring at least once.
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 4: Thank you for telling us that, Opie. Thank you so much.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: I mean, hey, that's an important element.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 4: Yes, sir.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 1: I'm calling it blowing your O-ring from now on, by
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 1: the way.
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 4: Yes, I can tell.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: A woman blowing her O-ring is the sexiest thing in
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: the world. And I enjoy doing anything that gets her there.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: It has never happened through PIV, though, and she said
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: she doesn't think she can do that. There's a little
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: bit more to this story. I mean, my closing thoughts
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 1: would be the therapy should hopefully help you shift your
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: cognitive perspective on this.
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 4: And keep talking to her about what you guys both want,
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 4: because it really feels like there is just a lack
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 4: of communication.
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: Doing the deed is only as weird and uncomfortable as...
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: You want to make it in your own head.
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 4: Because objectively, it's weird. But if you trust your partner,
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 4: then it doesn't even matter.
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: She was the one that talked about how she tried
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: to improve stuff. This is normal. And everyone wants to
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: improve their situation. My issue is she didn't put any
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: effort almost into fixing our issue and just accepted it's happening.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: I put in effort because comfort is never enough for
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 1: a relationship. I expect equal return. I've had time to
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: articulate my thoughts slightly better, and my overall issue is
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: that I'm worried she settled for me because I was
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 1: a nice guy, and that's not something I ever want
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 1: to be for someone. Nobody wants to be the safety choice.
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 1: The commenter says, do you think she actually wants to
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: work on it? Or does she want to say she
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 1: wants to, but then not actually work on it, and
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 1: just maybe have some spice once or twice, till you
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: stop bringing it up again? It sounds like that's what's
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 1: been happening every time anyway. So is it worth you
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 1: fighting again to try to fix it only to be
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 1: back to square one? OP says, we are headed for therapy,
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 1: but yes, there has been a lot of talk from
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 1: her and not much action. I've tried to keep myself
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 1: in shape because I thought that could be a factor.
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 1: And then I look up spicy sleep stuff often because
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 1: maybe one will hit the jackpot, but I haven't been
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 1: too lucky so far. Usually we'll do the deed a
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: few times and then we're back to a one to
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 1: two week break, sometimes up to a month. Honestly, if
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: her thing is to be jackhammered for an hour, which
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 1: she didn't say this, that's a joke, then I probably
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: am not the guy, and I'd wish her the best,
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: and that's that. Hey, buddy. She didn't say this. She
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 1: said the opposite of that. Stop being so insecure.
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 4: You're insecure. Don't know what for.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 1: Does she like that it hurt and was uncomfortable? Because
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 1: if she does, you got to be, hey, dude, I
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: can't physically do that.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 4: It's not in my wheelhouse.
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 1: What are we talking about?
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 3: It's not in my wheelhouse.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 3: I'm just a man.
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 1: See if the therapy bears fruit. But if it doesn't buy,
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: I don't know, I'd say six months tops. If you
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: guys do six months of therapy and there's no improvement,
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: I think it's time to call it.
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 2: I agree.
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 4: I concur.
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 1: Unless you're willing for this to be how it is forever.
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story.