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S3 E26 - Muskmart · The Steve & Jeff Show

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the Steven Jeff Show, the funniest podcast ever.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_02: Hey people, I don't write the words, I just read them.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_02: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Stephen Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_02: Write us a review while you're there too.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_02: And now, here's Steve and Jeff.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_02: Well, hey Johnny, thank you, and great to be back in the studio tonight.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_02: Jeff, Jeff, how is it going?
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_02: It's going great.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_03: I'm loving that the weather is changing every day.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_03: Kind of like the tariffs, right?
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_03: Um, you know, I check the weather and whether the tariffs are on or off today, and I guess they're off or windy or 40% chance of new tariffs, yeah.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_03: 40% that's right.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_03: Anyways, I'm doing great.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_03: How about you?
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_02: I am doing great too.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_02: I love this time of year.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_02: This time of year, spring.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_02: You know, when I was younger, I used to start thinking about girls when I was when spring came around.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_02: And now I think more about well, what house projects can I do?
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_02: So we're refinishing our basement here.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_02: It's very exciting, it's a big project, though, but it's gonna look beautiful when it's done.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_02: I we're making our basement great again.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_02: That's wonderful.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_02: We're adding some features to it, we're giving like a bunker feel, you know, because that just that seems so timely, very popular.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think that's that's a real trend in basements.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, the contractor was telling me everybody's everybody's doing that these days.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_03: That sounds really cool.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_03: We were gonna remodel our kitchen, but things have gotten so expensive.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_03: And are are you finding that when uh in your remodel?
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_02: Oh boy, is it expensive?
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, you know, you think I'm buying an egg farm or something, but you know, fortunately, fortunately, though, we got a price locked in to do the whole job for only$25,000, plus or minus the tariff surcharge.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_02: Well, sure, but that's not bad.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's a real deal.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_02: Speaking of tariffs, though, we thought we could save some money by we went, you know, we're gonna get wood floors, and of course, you know, it'd be Canadian wood floors.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_02: So we always save some money by changing the Canadian wood floors to plastic, but you know, didn't really change it much because the plastic is made out of Canadian oil.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, oh, Canada.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_03: Oh god.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but that wasn't a bad idea, and I guess I just never realized how screwed up our relationship is with Canada and the world, and you know, and and you know who's to blame for that is is oh of course, yeah.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_03: And and actually, if you go back, you know, because he was just a puppet for Obama, so you go back there, and I I don't know if it was a puppet, was uh well it was Obama's third term.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's yeah, there you go.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_02: So there's a precedent, right?
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_02: See?
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but uh you know, but according to our king, you know, if Joe had just put those tariffs in four years ago, you know, we wouldn't he would have had to do it.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_03: I I'm just amazed at how often we will be blaming Joe Biden over the next four years.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, absolutely.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_02: It's gonna come up time and again, Jeff.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_02: We are so lucky to have our king and his vice president, you know, Musk, to take care of every little part of our lives for us.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so we don't have to think, we don't have to do anything.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_02: You know, these tariffs are gonna be great.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_02: I you know, I usually don't check my phone during a podcast because it's you know it's kind of bad, bad form.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_02: But I just looked, I just got an updated quote in my basement, and now it's$35,000.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_02: Well, that that's still pretty good.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_02: That's still pretty good, yeah.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_02: I think instead of drywalling, we're gonna go with paper mache, though.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um I mean it still uses Canadian paper, but it's a whole lot thinner, so it costs less, easier to kind of poke your finger through, you know, which I I enjoy doing that in the basement, poking my finger through the walls, it might be prettier too, paper mache.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, absolutely, easier to paint.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_02: I just feel honored that a couple of wealthy sociopaths who hate empathy are looking out for a regular Joe like me.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_02: Well, regular Joe who is you know a white heterosexual male living in a red state, but you know, regular Joe, right?
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, exactly.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_03: I was also a little concerned about the price of everything, but fortunately I realized that again, the most qualified person in the world to help pull us out of our financial problems is a guy who's been bankrupt six times.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah, you know, he knows he's been here, right?
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_03: He you know, he oh, he knows the game.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_03: I heard him say he thought that the market was they were yelping or they were I don't know what the term it was a little like a baby term, but it but it it's it meant that they were nervous, and he knows what that feels like because he's made people nervous in the past, you know, and I and so I have total confidence in him.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_03: He said that he was going to change this economy because I guess it was broken.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't realize that, but I guess it was broken.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_02: But he was going to change it within three days, and I you know, I don't know if those are biblical days, but well, three days has a lot of religious significance, and you know, he is so religious that that must be what it is.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_02: You know, one day is equal to 10 years of of real time, so yeah, we we just get comfortable, it could be a while, but we are in such good hands.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_02: Uh you know, speaking of hands, some people would say our leader is weaponizing the US economy to show the world just how big his hands are.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_02: But I I really think that's unfair.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_02: We know exactly how big they are.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_03: We do.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_02: Uh Jeff just received another update on my basement remodel.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_02: New price,$40,000.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_02: But they're only using non-DEI labor, you know, DEI doing everything internally.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, it'll all show everything, it'll be outside, right?
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_02: And uh, it'd be worth it.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, absolutely.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_03: Don't think for a second the king has forgotten about us and all of our struggles and everything that happens to us day by day.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_03: In fact, he's very hands-on.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_03: I think he probably has to be a good thing.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_03: He's incredibly hands-on.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, so I was listening to or Fox or watching Newsmax or what is his social media channel, the Truth Serum, something like that.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_02: Truth Spoodum, something, yeah.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_02: Something like something like that.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and he is actually offering a tutorial on how to make money at a time when prices are doubling and your 401k is is shwind, it's swindling.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_03: Swindling, yeah, that's a baby word too, actually.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_03: Swindle, swindle is a word that I keep thinking of when I when I think of uh of our king.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_02: But but swindling is like swindling somebody out of a bicycle, right?
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, but I digress.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_02: Go ahead.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and and with social security being gone.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_03: So you know, he was giving us some tips on on how to handle that.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_02: I am really sorry I missed that, but you know, you say double in price, it's more like tripling in price.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_03: But anyway, what did he say?
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_03: He gave this really good example of how to make money off of people by promising them things that you have no intention of delivering.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that is such a great strategy.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_02: Brilliant didn't didn't I read about that strategy in one of one of his award-winning books?
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, those books are those are so well written by you know the guys who wrote them.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_02: But I think it was called Losing Your Own Money is for suckers and losers.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_02: I think that was the name of a long title like that.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_02: But the best part of that book, though, was how to never take responsibility for losing other people's money.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you pick somebody, you blame oh black lives matter, you blame Antifa, you blame Joe Biden.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_02: There you go.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_02: Don't they can't Joe Biden, you know?
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_02: Or if you really want to get strategic, you can kill two birds with one stone, blame Dr.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_02: Fauci.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_02: See, that way you can also get rid of those pesky weaponized vaccines, too.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_02: Jeff, did you know that polio wasn't even recognized as a condition until 1840?
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_02: How's that tie in with your communist manifesto uh eight years later?
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just telling you, and even the guy who said it was contagious was named Heiney.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_02: Heine.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_02: How's that for an ass backwards approach?
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, sounds like a complete asshole.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_03: But I digress.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_03: So, what what story did the king tell?
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_03: He told this story.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_03: I thought it was it was fascinating and so timely.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_03: He tells the story about when he was a young lad, when he was in his 20s and fresh out of his freshman year at Fordham University, and for his 24th birthday after his freshman year, his dad bought him this pony that he had bought off this farmer in New Jersey for like$250.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_03: And the farmer agreed that he would drop the horse off to one of his dad's golf courses.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_03: So the next day, our future king, I guess you could call could have called him king back then too, because you know he was more like a he was more like a prince of whales.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_02: We don't have whales, so I guess it'd be like prince of you know, Delaware or somewhere.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_03: And when you say whale, whale, I think I think of our king.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_02: Well, whale, yeah.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_02: Now, yes, we don't have whales, but we got whales.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah, of course we do.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_02: We got whales, oh yeah.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so anyways, the king shows up at the golf course the next day, and and the farmer shows up, but he doesn't have the horse.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_03: Uh and and he says to our king, I have some bad news.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_03: The horse has died.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_03: Uh you you can imagine, you know, King Donald was quite upset.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_03: You know, back then he he had a tendency to throw some tantrums and yeah, he kind of laid down on one of the greens and in a fetal position.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_02: But he he got his composure.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so glad, I'm so glad that he has learned how to control that sort of rage.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so glad that that's really gone away as he got more mature and got really, really mature.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_02: But but I think Ras again.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but but in fairness to him though, you know, part of it was he he didn't want to let his dad down.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_03: You know, his dad got him the gift, yeah, bought him the host, you know, because he knew that his dad had this tendency to blame anybody around him, especially his own kids, if anything goes bad.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_02: See, that's a time-honored strategy.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_02: There you go.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_03: He got that from.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_03: So, you know, he was pretty freaked out.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_02: Can you imagine having a father or a boss or a president who never accepted responsibility for anything unless it made him look good?
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I mean, that'd be terrible, right?
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's such a miracle that our king is completely different and so easily just accepts blame, says he's sorry, admits mistakes, you know, even when it's obvious that you know he deserves it.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_02: I heard someone described him as uh really somewhat Christ-like.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_03: I I think that was um our king who described as a kid.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_02: That was that's right, that's right.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_02: That was him.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, okay.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_03: All right, but regardless, you know, whether he's Christ or Moses or a king or whatever, whatever he wanted to be called, he he didn't want to tell his dad.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_03: So instead, what he thought was that he would ask for the$250 back, and then the farmer said he he didn't have it anymore, and that he had spent the money.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_03: This is how you got a glimpse of why we can trust him now, because you know he knew what to do in a crisis.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_03: Isn't that the number one thing you're looking for in a president?
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, absolutely.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_02: You're looking for somebody that can that can react, that can pivot, that doesn't stay focused on one dumb, stupid idea and just keep pushing it that can pivot, that can react to reality.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_03: That's right.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_03: So, anyways, he came up with this brilliant strategy and he told the farmer to go get the dead horse.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_03: The farmer says, I don't know what you want with a dead horse.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_03: What are you gonna do?
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_03: Decent question, right?
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and and King Donald said, Well, I'm gonna raffle him off.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_03: And the farmer still looked confused and at you know, thinking maybe he was missing something or whatever.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_03: He says, But you you can't raffle off a dead horse.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_03: And the king said, Sure, you can watch me.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_03: I I I just won't tell anyone that he's dead.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_03: So there you go.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_02: See, strategy again.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_02: That is so smart.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_02: That sounds just like Trump University or Trump Steak Knives or Trump Crypto Coins or the Trump Foundation or Trump Casinos or Trump Airlines or yeah, it's only a 25-minute podcast.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_02: I gotta stop digressing here.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_02: But I'm impressed that he learned that lesson at such a young age.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, me too.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_03: So, anyway, so our king has this raffle, and about a month later, the farmer was mowing the fairway because Trump had sued him and had taken the farm, so the farm was gone.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_02: So now he needs a job, yeah.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so he just needed a job, and he yells out, Whatever happened with that dead horse.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_03: And Donald said, Well, I raffled him off like I told you I was going to, and I sold 500 tickets at five dollars apiece, and I made a profit of$2,495.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, I know, and the wow, if only his casinos could have done that, you know.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_03: I know exactly.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_03: And the former farmer was shocked, and he said, Didn't anybody complain?
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_03: And our king said, Just the guy who won the horse.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_02: I thought, yeah, imagine making money off the misfortune of others.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_02: Isn't that one of the commandments in our king's new Ten Commandments?
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_03: I think it was number six, wasn't it?
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_03: It was after they took out all the stuff about you know honoring your spouse, your wife, and they're all gone.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_03: That's a god, but I think it's number six.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_03: We kind of got off on a tangent here.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_02: We did, but but tangents are fun, you know.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_02: They are, they're like they're like trade wars, they're fun and they're easy, right?
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_02: It's like a trade war, you know.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_03: They are, but what do you think we should talk about today?
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_02: Well, Jeff, there's so much.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_02: I I don't really know where where to start.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, there's so much going on.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_02: Bad guys, people taking advantage of us are everywhere from within to our north, to our south.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, not to mention, oh, the great evil Denmark.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_02: There's something rotten in the state of Denmark, let me tell you.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yes.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_02: Well, the good news though is that DEI, uh, dead English industrialists, uh, is almost extinct.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, because most of them they're dead, right?
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_02: Uh most of them.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_02: Uh and we're finally getting rid of those poison vaccines, too.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, oh, hey, uh Jeff, looks like I got some good news.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_02: This is my quote for my new basement is actually going down in price.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_02: See, the king was right.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_02: It's going, it's gone down to 30,000.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_03: Excellent.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_02: That's what I'm talking about.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_02: That's the best.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_02: That's what the king promised.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, oh, oh, oh, wait.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_02: Wait, no, no, the 30,000 is just the tariff charge.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_02: It's not the whole job.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_03: Well, that's too bad.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_03: But even though you have to pay more, lots more, at least you're gonna get a tax break.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_03: You know, for us, it'll probably be like$500 a piece for the year.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_03: And oh, that's if we that will help.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_02: That's if we really make a lot of money, and we might get$500.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, that's that's true.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_03: But but the good news is that that$500, if it is that much, will at least pay for part of those cell phone cases that they have out there.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, American-made or semi-American-made cell phone cases.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_03: Those are so cool.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_03: I've I've had my eye on one of those for a long time.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, absolutely.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_02: They are beautiful, although I gotta tell you, I've read a little about them.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_02: They're not completely made in America.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_02: No, I think they're assembled here somewhere in Ohio, if you can believe that.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I think they're assembled here, but the parts all come from Ukraine.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I'm I mean Russia.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_02: You know, they do such great work over there.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I'm glad that Russia's our only friend in this world.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_02: Before we get on to today's topic, Jeff, you know, it's been a while, but we have a paying advertiser, another advertiser, a repeat advertiser.
• 15:57
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• 16:00
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• 17:05
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• 17:10
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• 17:16
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• 17:21
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• 17:28
  SPEAKER_03: So I'd like I'd like to find a bottle of that, but I've looked at the you know, all the places I normally shop, which is just Costco, and I didn't see it there.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_02: So different aisles of Costco, they feel like different stores.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, but it's yeah, it's all have you seen it around?
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_02: Funny you should ask.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_02: I was looking for it as well, especially after I got this last updated quote.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_02: I was looking for some cologne that says, without words, I hired you to do the job, but I'm still not gonna pay you.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_02: I want that confidence, so I agree.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I could use a bottle as well.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I think I could use uh a case of that stuff, I could use some confidence.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_03: And you've had no luck in finding it.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_02: Well, actually, I did find Musk Cologne for sale online.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_02: Really?
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's a weird site.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_02: It's available on what it looks like a new company and a website.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_02: It's called Muskmart.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, they could be a they could be a future advertiser too.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_02: So maybe we should see what they're all about.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, go to the site here.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_02: And you gotta be honest, I'm I'm kind of surprised it's not available on Amazon, you know, especially since Amazon's owner pledged his love and support to our king.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_02: And well, and I know Miss Claire sells him an awful lot of knee pads to carry out that love and support.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I bet.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_02: No question about it.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_03: Why don't we take a look at the website?
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_03: I'm kind of interested to see that website in general.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_03: Let's see, Muskmart.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, Muskmart.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_03: Here it is.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, here it is.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_02: There you go.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_03: It says Muskmart is a shopping portal for pseudo American.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_03: There's that name, that word is pseudo-american made products for real Americans.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if it's a real pseudo-americans or or whatever, but pseudo pseudo-real Americans.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_02: See, that's different than real pseudo.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_03: I think you're right.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_03: I I think we qualify in some way, and it looks good to me.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_03: And it also has this sort of patriotic feel to it.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, absolutely.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, and the prices look pretty good too.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, look at this hammers, five dollars, dish soap for three dollars, handguns for as little as twenty-five dollars, and you get free ammunition.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, there are tons of bargains here.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_03: I I don't see those bargains on my computer.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_03: I I see a hammer, but it's a hundred dollars.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if that's a hammer for the military or and it also requires a background check and a proof of citizenship to buy a hammer.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_03: Like it's uh I guess it's a weapon.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_02: So well, you can vote with a hammer.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_03: That's true.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_03: And dish soap is is out of stock indefinitely.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_03: And guns are actually cheaper though.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_03: So that's so you get a deal on that, you just you you have to buy a minimum of 25 semi-automatics.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_03: So I I don't I don't get it.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I'm just spitballing here, but I live in deep red Nebraska while you live in deep blue Illinois.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_02: It looks like red states with real Americans get real American pricing.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_02: Blue states get Canadian pricing.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not sure why they're doing that.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_02: Uh besides, well, you know, their obvious interest in doing that, but it could be that those blue states have higher taxes or the blue states hire DEI labor, you know, dumb educated idiots.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_02: Plus, I heard they pay trans people double in wages, and even with that, the state of Maine has maybe two in school athletics, you know.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_02: But the good news is the Nebraska is included in the discount prices, but obviously Illinois's not.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry, Jeff.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_03: No problem.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I can just go and have it delivered to Indiana or Iowa.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_03: You know, it's not a super long drive, especially if I buy a case of it.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_03: You know, it kind of makes it worth it.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_03: And I could pick it up there as far as payments.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_03: It looks like they take Trump crypto coins or their own credit card or a special muskmart financing for those former federal employees who lost their jobs as a result of our king's dismantling of the government.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_03: So that's clearly they care about people.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that's a wonderful gesture.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_03: And oh, absolutely.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_03: And it makes me want to do business with them because they do care.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, I guess the only question I have is what exactly is a pseudo American what what does that mean?
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I you know I'm gonna get to that, but uh you were talking about where to get a ship.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_02: You could you if you get cases of it, say you get two cases, you could have a ship to Wisconsin, which is a whole lot closer.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: And you could pick up one of them.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_02: So that's right.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_02: But again, I now on the pseudo-American.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_02: Now, again, spitballs, I'm guessing it includes countries that share our values and therefore are grandfathered into the American-made family of products.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, of course, you know what countries this includes.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_02: Includes Ukraine, well, I mean, I mean Russia, and of course, El Salvador, Hungary, and Saudi Arabia.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_02: You know, plus, keep in mind that neither Russia nor Saudi Arabia got additional tariffs added.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_02: So they must be our real friends.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_02: You can see, I mean, they weren't taking advantage of us, right?
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_02: Obviously, Russia's our best friend.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_02: Who can forget that Saudi Arabia loaned the king's son-in-law billions of dollars when he really needed it?
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_02: That's a friend.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, if that isn't a friend of America, I don't know what is.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, another grand gesture.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_03: You know, that that's the kind of thing that our king just never forgets about.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_03: And I think Saudi Arabia makes sure that he doesn't forget about that.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I'm sure they will they'll remind him.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_03: And so I obviously doing something like that, they just they deserve not to have any tariffs on them.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_03: You know, they're such great people.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, but again, I go back to financing unemployed federal employees, you know, selling them things with no guarantee that that they'll be paid back.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_03: I isn't that wonderful that you're you're basically selling to people who are unemployed.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_03: Don't you agree?
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, without question.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_02: That is magnanimity personified.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_02: For a minute, though, I thought we might qualify for that loan program.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I guess we won't because we're not really federal employees that got laid off, but there's always hope for the future, you know.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_02: Just in case so, I'm looking at the application for this loan program, and it looks pretty much like any other loan application, pretty standard, straightforward.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_02: It basically says that the only limit to what you can buy is based on how much your house and your car are worth together.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_02: So let's say if together they're worth$500,000, you can buy up to$500,000 of toilet paper, for example.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_02: A couple rolls.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it'd be a couple rolls.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you might, yeah, you know, on sale, you might get a four-pack.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_02: Uh you know, uh so you don't have to pay a dime, which is good since you know you won't have a job, but uh what you owe is simply just deducted from the value of your home and car.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_03: So basically, you're putting your car up and your house as collateral, and that seems like a good deal for everyone.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, you said it.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_02: Plus, listen to how thoughtful they are.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_02: After you reach more than 50% of your house's value, which in my in my example, 250,000, let's say, which that'd be probably a three-month spending, something like that.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, sure.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_02: Uh Must Smart will help you and they'll come to your assistance by taking over your house and your car and they'll get their money, and and they'll then you don't have to worry about them anymore, right?
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_02: You don't have to think, they'll take them over for you.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_02: It kind of works like a reverse mortgage, except you know, it's like not.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_02: It's not.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_03: And and we all know what reverse mortgage is.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, they're so well known.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_03: Oh gosh, yes.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_03: To be great.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_02: Everyone everyone understands the minute details for reverse mortgage.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_02: Certainly before they get involved in it.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_02: Everybody knows how those work.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, especially seniors.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, they're they're the best, they're the sharpest.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yes, they are totally.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_03: So well, that's perfect.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_03: I don't have any Trump crypto money uh handy, but maybe I should apply for the credit card.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_03: It's called the the Muskie credit card, and check it out.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_03: I bet it is no interest for seven days, then only five percent interest semi-weekly.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, that's beautiful.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_03: That's amazing.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_03: That sounds like an amazing deal.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_03: And so I I certainly think I should probably order the card, don't you think?
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, Jeff, I you and me both.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_02: I think I'm gonna get that card, and I I can't wait to get my case of must cologne.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_02: I can't wait.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, Jeff, we we are just about to get kicked out of eccentric Lady Land Studios, and I think because he has given so much to us through this store, that I think we should give something back.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, we probably will wind up giving back our house and our car, but I think we should give back something sooner.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_02: So, Johnny, what do you have for the founder of Mustmart?
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: This isn't Johnny.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_01: This is your king.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_01: I took over this show because they said some bad things about me, and I'm mad.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_01: And here's nothing for Mustmart or anyone else.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's all for me.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_01: Me! My gift to me is I give the hit back at all the countries who have been ripping us off for decades by letting us buy their stuff.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_01: First, England, who very unfairly took the name of what should be the American language.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_01: They get a 90% terror.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_01: It'll be so beautiful.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's where they make snow, and every winter they rip us off by sending us snow below cards.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_01: They give them 1 million percent nope, nope, no, wait, wait.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_01: 50 million percent terrorists.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe we'll have to make it the 50 second stage.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_01: We'll get a big beautiful casino resource there, and then I'll take us.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, and then there's his claim.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_01: The president is bowling no.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_01: He's a bad man.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_01: He's a very bad man.