Latest / Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge / Down the Rabbit Hole

Transcript

Down the Rabbit Hole · Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge

0:02
Speaker 1: This is Teddy Teapot Cabin. So I'm Teddy here and
0:12
Speaker 1: I am pretty excited to take you down my rabbit hole.
0:18
Speaker 1: And you know what, I know there are those people
0:21
Speaker 1: out there that get into bed every night. They think
0:24
Speaker 1: they're just going to have a casual little scroll through Instagram,
0:27
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden, there you are two
0:29
Speaker 1: and a half hours later. You don't know what you've learned.
0:33
Speaker 1: You feel like you've lost a part of your life,
0:35
Speaker 1: but you've gained some real knowledge about useless information. And
0:40
Speaker 1: that's what I'm here to tell you about. We are
0:42
Speaker 1: going to go down so many rabbit holes. I'm going
0:45
Speaker 1: to bring an expert across the board. I'm going to
0:48
Speaker 1: bring in people to push me out of my judge zone,
0:52
Speaker 1: and hopefully we're gonna laugh make fun of ourselves. And
0:56
Speaker 1: you know, I love everybody over here. At my heart,
0:59
Speaker 1: Tiny is one of my girl girls. So I'm excited,
1:02
Speaker 1: and I'm sitting here today with Jillian, who is going
1:05
Speaker 1: to go down the rabbit hole with me. I am
1:07
Speaker 1: so excited for this because everybody goes down those rabbit holes,
1:11
Speaker 1: and it usually happens for me when I have somewhere
1:14
Speaker 1: to be and I'm getting ready, and then I'll stop
1:17
Speaker 1: and I'll get situated and like fixated with something on
1:20
Speaker 1: my phone. And you just find out so much info
1:23
Speaker 1: just on these crazy topics, and you're right, hours and
1:27
Speaker 1: hours wasted, but you have all that info and then
1:30
Speaker 1: you can speak on it, and you know occasionally people
1:33
Speaker 1: are interested, right, right, So we're gonna say to you
1:36
Speaker 1: all that trouble of doing all the research on your own. Correct,
1:40
Speaker 1: So what are we going to get into today. Do
1:42
Speaker 1: you think one has been all of this open marriage conversation.
1:46
Speaker 1: I feel like it's everywhere. It's everywhere. Okay, First we
1:51
Speaker 1: need to clarify some things. I had to have a
1:53
Speaker 1: little convo with my husband. If you tell me after
1:56
Speaker 1: the fact, it's cheating. Yes, I hate to be the
2:00
Speaker 1: bearer of bad news. It's cheating if I find out. No,
2:05
Speaker 1: And I was like, also, I don't understand the idea
2:08
Speaker 1: of getting married and then having this discussion. Yes, it
2:12
Speaker 1: needs to come way before, right at the beginning of
2:15
Speaker 1: the dating point. You're getting to that point where it's
2:17
Speaker 1: getting serious and you say, you know what, I am
2:21
Speaker 1: going to be a person that has to be with
2:24
Speaker 1: other people. But it doesn't mean anything to me, or
2:26
Speaker 1: we can set ground rules or whatever it is. Okay,
2:30
Speaker 1: then I would leave, but maybe some people won't and
2:32
Speaker 1: that's fine, but I would be one that couldn't take it.
2:34
Speaker 1: But at least then you're setting up the expectations from
2:38
Speaker 1: the beginning. In regards to Thomas middle Ditch what he said,
2:42
Speaker 1: it seemed almost to me like he pitched the idea
2:45
Speaker 1: to his wife when their marriage was struggling. Yeah, and
2:48
Speaker 1: they were already married, and it was the first time
2:50
Speaker 1: that they had discussed it, and it seems like he
2:52
Speaker 1: was into it, like this is something that he wanted
2:55
Speaker 1: but that he kind of like had to ask her about.
2:57
Speaker 1: But he kept saying, Oh, I don't know if I
2:59
Speaker 1: should share this, she might get mad. Oh she's gonna
3:01
Speaker 1: get mad. I hate to break it to your buddy,
3:05
Speaker 1: Like if you have to question yourself, is my wife
3:08
Speaker 1: gonna be mad? She's pissed. She's already pissed that she's
3:11
Speaker 1: agreed to an open marriage to be with you. I'm sorry,
3:16
Speaker 1: Like that is that is before you put the ring
3:18
Speaker 1: on it be like there's one little caveat. But I
3:23
Speaker 1: did also go deeper down into the rabbit hole because
3:26
Speaker 1: at first I was like, okay, so there's I thought
3:29
Speaker 1: everything was like swingers, but no, they're swingers, open marriage
3:34
Speaker 1: and then polyamory. I might be pronouncing it wrong because
3:38
Speaker 1: the rabbit hole sometimes they're not gonna actually get pronunciations.
3:43
Speaker 1: But swinging, I can almost like get on board with
3:47
Speaker 1: understanding because you're going in as a couple. You're gonna
3:49
Speaker 1: pick another couple you want. I mean, I even learned
3:51
Speaker 1: from my assistant that people in her neighborhood. Neighborhood had
3:55
Speaker 1: purple doors and that meant were swingers. Come on in
3:59
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, she goes, And then the
4:00
Speaker 1: white rocks were like, come off, oh really what also
4:04
Speaker 1: a black wedding band that means you're ready. No, I
4:09
Speaker 1: know a lot of guys I go, I hear guy
4:13
Speaker 1: saying it so they can work out. They like that
4:15
Speaker 1: rubber band on. I know who you are. I've got
4:20
Speaker 1: your number. There's this rumor where I live that there
4:23
Speaker 1: is one certain restaurant on Saturday nights. When you go,
4:27
Speaker 1: you put your keys on the end of the table
4:30
Speaker 1: and that's the signal to everybody that's there that you're
4:32
Speaker 1: open to this party that happens that night. Across the street,
4:36
Speaker 1: at the hotel. So they go, somebody goes through, gets
4:40
Speaker 1: all the couples that are having their keys on the
4:42
Speaker 1: end of the table. Then you get the key to
4:45
Speaker 1: the hotel room and you walk in and you get
4:48
Speaker 1: a new partner for the night. What if what if
4:51
Speaker 1: you're not selected? What if I put my key and
4:53
Speaker 1: nobody wanted me. You'll have to make sure that I
4:57
Speaker 1: would be so wrapped up if I put key out
5:00
Speaker 1: and they just ignored me, that's a heartbreak. Like and
5:04
Speaker 1: how you're swinging, you always get the bad one in
5:06
Speaker 1: every couple. I don't know, I'm not interested. Oh just
5:12
Speaker 1: in this is huge gnomes at the front of your house.
5:18
Speaker 1: That also means you're ready. Oh hi, hey, Dr Goldcher's
5:24
Speaker 1: that you So I have a couple of questions. So
5:27
Speaker 1: I'm assuming you know all about the Thomas story middle dish.
5:33
Speaker 1: So my question is why do you think he wanted
5:37
Speaker 1: to reveal it to the public. That's a really interesting question.
5:42
Speaker 1: I have a two mindsets on that. I mean, one
5:45
Speaker 1: could be I mean sort of a greater good attempt
5:49
Speaker 1: to spark a conversation in a dialogue, perhaps any interest
5:53
Speaker 1: in like normalizing it, which is to do um also um.
6:02
Speaker 1: Maybe as a celebrity he could be out it in
6:06
Speaker 1: some other way, so kind of getting ahead of it
6:10
Speaker 1: might be better for his marriage and his relationships. That's
6:14
Speaker 1: an interesting I don't know, you know it exciting to
6:17
Speaker 1: be um in that kind of lifestyle takes a certain
6:19
Speaker 1: kind of personality, So I don't know if there's a
6:22
Speaker 1: there's an ego or narcissism involved that I was thinking
6:26
Speaker 1: a little bit he wanted to be like, I'm studley
6:28
Speaker 1: and I got my wife to agree to this. Do
6:30
Speaker 1: you think that couples are reaching to do it once
6:32
Speaker 1: they've hit trouble because to me, that's what I'm seeing
6:36
Speaker 1: a pattern of things aren't going well, so now we're
6:39
Speaker 1: going to try this. Yeah. I To me, it's it's
6:43
Speaker 1: one of two things. Either people come into a relationship
6:47
Speaker 1: with that mindset and with that way of moving through relationships,
6:53
Speaker 1: meaning faith, I have a kind of in a history
6:56
Speaker 1: of either being interested and probably enless relationships, or or
7:00
Speaker 1: reveal upfront at that's something that they want to explore
7:04
Speaker 1: and or I think it's hard to imagine that couples
7:07
Speaker 1: who are doing really well and feeling really stable and
7:10
Speaker 1: solid would be like, let's just add this seems like
7:13
Speaker 1: an extra fun edition. Yeah, as as another hobby or something.
7:18
Speaker 1: So I think you're I think you're absolutely right that
7:21
Speaker 1: that folks in trouble it explore this as a possibility
7:25
Speaker 1: of opening something up between them, And look, I mean,
7:30
Speaker 1: I think there's some scenarios where it can be revealing
7:34
Speaker 1: for couples. And I don't mean trouble free, but revealing
7:38
Speaker 1: in terms of what couples roadblocks are, what their vulnerabilities are,
7:44
Speaker 1: what gets in the way of them being more physically
7:47
Speaker 1: emotionally connected. I think it can be really revealing in
7:50
Speaker 1: that regard and help people in certain situations. Yeah, you
7:55
Speaker 1: have to fight or flight, You've got someone coming for
7:59
Speaker 1: you threat And psychologically speaking, do you think that it works?
8:04
Speaker 1: You know, it's it's hard to imagine that this in
8:09
Speaker 1: and of itself is going to make a relationship stronger
8:13
Speaker 1: or safer or feel more connected. So I mean, I think,
8:17
Speaker 1: like my my short answer is probably no. But I
8:20
Speaker 1: think in certain scenarios where couples are distant in different
8:26
Speaker 1: arenas of their life, that doing something like this is
8:29
Speaker 1: going to propel a lot of feelings into the relationship.
8:33
Speaker 1: I a conflict and and maybe it gets people to
8:37
Speaker 1: talk more, to explore, um, you know, the idea of
8:41
Speaker 1: losing one another, the idea of what masks they have
8:46
Speaker 1: on in their relationship that make them, you know, more
8:48
Speaker 1: or less available. And so in that sense, I've had
8:52
Speaker 1: a few instances where a couples have been able to
8:55
Speaker 1: use it as a springboard to reconnect, but not without
8:59
Speaker 1: a lot of trouble, both before and after. And and
9:03
Speaker 1: even Thomas Uh, this actor says that they argue about
9:06
Speaker 1: it all the time. I mean, that's and any any
9:09
Speaker 1: time I've seen that, I've seen the same thing. Because
9:11
Speaker 1: how because when it comes to open marriages, which is
9:15
Speaker 1: different than swinging, how are you making the rules? Like
9:19
Speaker 1: how does it stop? Are you saying is that happening
9:21
Speaker 1: one time? I have to approve the girl or I
9:23
Speaker 1: want to know nothing? I mean, I just think there's
9:25
Speaker 1: so many gray areas that it's impossible to ever just
9:28
Speaker 1: feel comfortable. And and that is absolutely one of the
9:33
Speaker 1: ubiquitous problems with folks I've worked with, and I'm sure
9:36
Speaker 1: with with this Thomas guy, that the rules are always
9:41
Speaker 1: fluid because you can't plan for all circumstances or all
9:45
Speaker 1: feelings that are going to emerge. You think you might
9:48
Speaker 1: feel one way about it, and then you feel another.
9:51
Speaker 1: Your partner promises that you won't feel jealous, that you're
9:54
Speaker 1: on board, and then the first time it happens, you
9:57
Speaker 1: feel jealous and like you want to back down. I mean,
9:59
Speaker 1: it's completely unpredictable because it's the reason why it's so
10:02
Speaker 1: visceral for all of us is all of us have
10:05
Speaker 1: that primitive feeling of like, God, that's so vulnerable, that's
10:09
Speaker 1: so uncomfortable, that makes me feel so um so triggered
10:14
Speaker 1: the idea of that, and no one can scape that.
10:17
Speaker 1: And I also, I'm curious. It almost feels like it
10:19
Speaker 1: could be one sided because a man may say, and
10:22
Speaker 1: you know, I hate to do this, but I'm doing it.
10:24
Speaker 1: But a man coulds like, you know, it doesn't sound
10:25
Speaker 1: too bad to me. I go out and I do
10:26
Speaker 1: what I want to do, and you know, I come
10:28
Speaker 1: home and tell my girl about it and we're cool
10:30
Speaker 1: with it. But really, is a man going to be
10:32
Speaker 1: cool with his girl doing the same thing, Like, don't worry.
10:35
Speaker 1: There was three others this week, but they don't me much.
10:39
Speaker 1: I'm so sure my husband would be like, go sit
10:42
Speaker 1: on the front porch and get an uber out of
10:44
Speaker 1: my life forever. I find that it is really rare
10:48
Speaker 1: that the that the power status within a relationship where
10:53
Speaker 1: this is occurring is equal. And I was thinking about
10:56
Speaker 1: it with with this actor, that of course is a
10:59
Speaker 1: good deal for him because he's an actor and I'm
11:02
Speaker 1: sure has access to a lot of scenarios where there
11:04
Speaker 1: are a lot of women who are interested in being
11:07
Speaker 1: with him, and we're all talking about him, and I mean,
11:09
Speaker 1: I went down the rabbit hole. She works on his show,
11:13
Speaker 1: so there's a whole power struggle there where you know,
11:17
Speaker 1: what is she going to say that's right? So that
11:20
Speaker 1: this feels I mean kind of inherently uneven and and
11:24
Speaker 1: I imagine that's probably the case, I'm guessing, but that
11:27
Speaker 1: for him, exactly what you're saying, Teddy, that like, what
11:29
Speaker 1: what's wrong with this and what what is wrong with
11:32
Speaker 1: this scenario for him? But for her, her access and
11:36
Speaker 1: her just vision in their lifestyle is different, and maybe
11:40
Speaker 1: she goes back into a corner that this is the
11:42
Speaker 1: way that she has to keep him. And I think
11:46
Speaker 1: he said that he decided to introduce this paradigm after
11:50
Speaker 1: they got married, Yea, that he said it saved my
11:54
Speaker 1: marriage and that you know. Here's the thing. Even if
11:57
Speaker 1: it did, and this is something you've decided it as
12:00
Speaker 1: a couple, I almost think it's like disrespectful to talk
12:04
Speaker 1: about it if you're not if your wife's not on
12:07
Speaker 1: board about talking about it. Just because you're comfortable sharing
12:10
Speaker 1: it doesn't mean that your wife, who you've negotiated after
12:13
Speaker 1: the fact with is gonna want you to share. And
12:16
Speaker 1: she doesn't have a platform to share it either. I
12:18
Speaker 1: I wish we could go down the rabbit hole with
12:20
Speaker 1: him and be like, how many times does it happen
12:23
Speaker 1: where you busted once first and then it happened like
12:26
Speaker 1: I need to know, Well, it really reveals Just in
12:31
Speaker 1: that interview, it revealed a lot about him from a
12:33
Speaker 1: psychological perspective, that he would get married with the notion
12:37
Speaker 1: that they were going to be a monogamous couple, and
12:39
Speaker 1: sort of immediately thereafter, it sounded like upon getting married
12:42
Speaker 1: and making the commitment, he had a revelation that he
12:45
Speaker 1: wanted to to have this as part of a marriage.
12:48
Speaker 1: She's already invested in her future and he obviously knew
12:52
Speaker 1: this going into the marriage. These aren't things that just
12:54
Speaker 1: totally shift. I get, like, keeping your relationship alive and
12:57
Speaker 1: that you have to work at your marriage. I've been
12:59
Speaker 1: married eight years is and like it's not always a
13:01
Speaker 1: piece of cape. People will tease me that sometimes I
13:04
Speaker 1: schedule sex, but you know what, this is life. Um,
13:08
Speaker 1: But I do think the idea of telling somebody after
13:11
Speaker 1: the fact kind of pigeonholds them, and I mean it
13:13
Speaker 1: led me to the point where I even started watching
13:16
Speaker 1: Why Women Kill because I was like, I need to
13:20
Speaker 1: understand all the different dynamics about this, and you can
13:23
Speaker 1: totally see the different personalities of some of the women types.
13:26
Speaker 1: Not that this is necessarily real life, but there's the
13:29
Speaker 1: ones that don't want anybody to know, and they will
13:31
Speaker 1: go to all lengths to hide it and to live
13:34
Speaker 1: in a marriage that's uncomfortable. Or the one which made
13:36
Speaker 1: sense to me where her husband was gay and she
13:40
Speaker 1: loved him and he was her best friend and once
13:42
Speaker 1: she knew, she was actually fine with it. That I
13:44
Speaker 1: could kind of, you know, I could understand versus somebody
13:48
Speaker 1: who's choosing to have relationships with somebody else other than
13:51
Speaker 1: me while they're with me and say they don't have
13:54
Speaker 1: other feelings. Well, and in that show, there's a threatle
13:57
Speaker 1: which the woman and the man are married, and then
14:00
Speaker 1: she is allowed to date other women. This is something
14:03
Speaker 1: they've agreed on. But then they bring a woman into
14:06
Speaker 1: their relationship and become a throutle and they all live
14:09
Speaker 1: together and they're both in love with the girl and
14:12
Speaker 1: not the one they're married to. It's like a whole situation,
14:15
Speaker 1: but you totally fall for it. And then of course
14:17
Speaker 1: the girls like super hot and you're like, gosh, she
14:19
Speaker 1: would be don't pick someone medium, pick a ten. But no,
14:25
Speaker 1: I don't have any emotional connection to her. She's just hot, cooks, cleans,
14:29
Speaker 1: does everything for me. It's fine, my wife that ignores
14:33
Speaker 1: me and puts me down. Love her. It's not going
14:36
Speaker 1: to get in the way. But I mean that's I mean,
14:39
Speaker 1: that's kind of where where I am. And I really
14:42
Speaker 1: appreciate you helping us kind of figure this out because
14:46
Speaker 1: I was like needing to know the psyche of it all. Okay,
14:54
Speaker 1: you guys, So I have um one more sign that
14:57
Speaker 1: you can tell somebody's a swinger, and it's if they
14:59
Speaker 1: leave a pie an apple on their front doorstep. That's
15:01
Speaker 1: also a sign. It's very weird, but it's a thing,
15:05
Speaker 1: just left it there, like I'm not looking for anything,
15:09
Speaker 1: but sometimes stuff spells out. Usually it's in a box though,
15:12
Speaker 1: right if it's coming from Amazon, then though to somebody
15:16
Speaker 1: just come up to the door and knock, and then
15:18
Speaker 1: I don't know. I feel like we need to call
15:21
Speaker 1: some swingers, which I know that we are almost um
15:24
Speaker 1: calling them soon, but before I have a really really
15:28
Speaker 1: funny story. So I'm I've been married for almost a year,
15:32
Speaker 1: but um, seven years ago, when I met my husband's
15:36
Speaker 1: parents for the very very first time. Um, you know,
15:39
Speaker 1: we're we parked outside his parents house and he's like, Danielle,
15:43
Speaker 1: before you meet my parents, I have something to tell you.
15:46
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, well what and he goes, my
15:49
Speaker 1: parents are swingers and he's like you needed to know
15:52
Speaker 1: that before you like have dinner with them. And I
15:54
Speaker 1: was like, you're lying and there's no way. And he's like,
15:57
Speaker 1: I swear, like, don't be awkward about it. You know,
16:00
Speaker 1: it's very normal telling you. Yeah. He's like, it's a
16:04
Speaker 1: very normal thing in our family, so just be cool
16:06
Speaker 1: about it. And I was like, oh my god, Okay,
16:09
Speaker 1: literally had dinner. It was never brought up. You get
16:12
Speaker 1: in the car on the way home, he's like, by
16:13
Speaker 1: the way, my parents are in swingers. I was like,
16:17
Speaker 1: screw you, you suck Like I kind of love him already.
16:23
Speaker 1: I need to go down his minute rabbit and Jill
16:26
Speaker 1: knows him. He's like, that is so funny. Anyways, I
16:31
Speaker 1: think we have the swingers on right. Hi guys, Jackie
16:34
Speaker 1: and John Y, Hi guys, are you ready to go
16:38
Speaker 1: down the rabbit hole with me? Absolutely? So? How long
16:45
Speaker 1: have you guys been married? Seven years? How long have
16:48
Speaker 1: you guys been swinging? Seven years? Oh? So when you
16:54
Speaker 1: first got together, was this and you started committed relationship?
16:58
Speaker 1: Did you guys say that this was something you're interested
17:00
Speaker 1: in doing or did you wait until after you got married?
17:04
Speaker 1: It was when we started, uh, when we reconnected because
17:07
Speaker 1: we've known each other since high school. So when we
17:09
Speaker 1: reconnected seven and a half years ago, Um, I owned
17:13
Speaker 1: swingers clubs and I had for many years, and so
17:16
Speaker 1: the topic of swinging came up right away. Okay, that's cool.
17:20
Speaker 1: And then so are is there truth to some of
17:23
Speaker 1: the things like if you have a purple door you're
17:26
Speaker 1: interested in swinging, or a pineapple or a gnome or
17:32
Speaker 1: a black wedding ring, or you put keys at the
17:35
Speaker 1: end of your table at certain restaurants that you're like, ready,
17:43
Speaker 1: this girl is so awkward. Absolutely. So the swingers that
17:49
Speaker 1: do that, yes, but there's people that are not swingers
17:52
Speaker 1: that do the same things, and so you might be
17:55
Speaker 1: careful if you're gonna approach someone with with their keys
17:57
Speaker 1: on the edge of the table at the restaurant. Oh
18:00
Speaker 1: so if you swing, that means you go with a
18:02
Speaker 1: couple and then you both switch, or can you go
18:05
Speaker 1: with anybody? So we were I mean us personally, we
18:09
Speaker 1: were swingers, you know, the lifestyle, but we're also in
18:12
Speaker 1: an open relationship. So Jackie and I played together and
18:16
Speaker 1: we also play separately, okay, and so now we have
18:19
Speaker 1: a lot more questions to ask because I was I
18:23
Speaker 1: was understanding swinging way more than I was understanding the
18:26
Speaker 1: open relationship. For the open relationship, do you guys have
18:30
Speaker 1: to tell each other if it's somebody else? Is there
18:33
Speaker 1: any mention or it's just no? We we we do,
18:37
Speaker 1: maybe not necessarily beforehand, but it's always it's always discussed
18:41
Speaker 1: because even our open relationship is still something we're doing together.
18:45
Speaker 1: Even when we play separately, you know, what happens during
18:49
Speaker 1: that time will be shared with each other and you know,
18:51
Speaker 1: it might lead to something hot between Jackie and I
18:54
Speaker 1: or you know, conversations. So we're definitely very open about
18:57
Speaker 1: our other relationships and honest about them. Do you ever
19:00
Speaker 1: get jealous? I have before, Yes, what happened And then,
19:10
Speaker 1: you know, when when we were very first together, you know,
19:14
Speaker 1: I had no frame of reference for swinging. I had
19:17
Speaker 1: only been involved in your traditional monogamous relationships. So to
19:23
Speaker 1: make that switch, you know, there was a learning curve
19:26
Speaker 1: for me. So there were there were sometimes early on
19:30
Speaker 1: where I found myself in the midst of some fears,
19:36
Speaker 1: and so we had to talk about this. I had
19:38
Speaker 1: to kind of walk myself through them. You know, today,
19:42
Speaker 1: looking back, it seems so foreign that I would have
19:46
Speaker 1: felt like that, that I understand the progression that needed
19:49
Speaker 1: to happen in order to get me to where I
19:51
Speaker 1: am today, to where our relationship just is very natural
19:57
Speaker 1: to me. Do you think at first it was the
20:00
Speaker 1: conversation came up mainly because you wanted to make sure
20:03
Speaker 1: that you could stay with John or was it more
20:05
Speaker 1: you were I've always kind of been open to the idea,
20:07
Speaker 1: but just nobody had brought it up before. I knew
20:11
Speaker 1: nothing about swingy, so It was never even in my use,
20:15
Speaker 1: never even a conversation I was having because of the
20:18
Speaker 1: way I was raised. So to reconnect with John and
20:21
Speaker 1: then have him say, well, I own swingers clubs, I
20:25
Speaker 1: didn't even know what that was. But I was. I
20:28
Speaker 1: was on the outskirts of a divorce, and so I
20:32
Speaker 1: was kind of ready, I think for something different. You know,
20:37
Speaker 1: I felt like, gosh, I don't know how to I
20:40
Speaker 1: don't know how to do these basic monogamous relationships. You know,
20:46
Speaker 1: I'm a failure. I'm outside of this marriage now, I'm divorced.
20:50
Speaker 1: I'm forty eight years old. There must be something wrong
20:54
Speaker 1: with me kind of mentality. And so to have John
20:58
Speaker 1: bring this up, I didn't immediately shut it down because one,
21:02
Speaker 1: I didn't know anything about it. Into there was some
21:07
Speaker 1: curiosity about it, like, well, maybe this is going to
21:10
Speaker 1: offer something different that I haven't tried before, and we'll
21:15
Speaker 1: see where it goes. And then how does it work
21:19
Speaker 1: at the clubs? And can anyone go you you mean
21:24
Speaker 1: as far as how the clubs operate? Yeah, like how well, one,
21:27
Speaker 1: how are they marketed? How do you know if you're
21:29
Speaker 1: going to a swingers club? Once you get there, how
21:31
Speaker 1: do you say you're ready, What if you don't like
21:33
Speaker 1: the person that wants to swing with you? I mean
21:38
Speaker 1: I want all the jee Well look, you know most
21:42
Speaker 1: swingers clubs in my clubs are clubs or private clubs.
21:47
Speaker 1: So you have to fill out a members application. Do
21:49
Speaker 1: you have to submit a photo of it? Not at
21:52
Speaker 1: our club. But there's some parties that they're more selective
21:55
Speaker 1: about who attends. UM, we don't care about that. I
21:58
Speaker 1: mean really, people from all walks of life, shapes and
22:02
Speaker 1: sizes attend our clubs. The um you know, the main
22:06
Speaker 1: thing is you're you're in a relationship and are curious
22:09
Speaker 1: about the lifestyle in some way. That's how you know,
22:12
Speaker 1: that's what it would take to become a member. And
22:15
Speaker 1: uh and then once you're there, you know, we we
22:17
Speaker 1: we talked to couples all the time about how to
22:21
Speaker 1: what you need to do before your first experience. So
22:24
Speaker 1: maybe set some boundaries for yourselves. Is a couple don't
22:27
Speaker 1: break them? You know, maybe the husband has a fear
22:31
Speaker 1: of his wife kissing another man, and so that might be,
22:33
Speaker 1: you know, a pretty simple boundary. Maybe they don't want
22:37
Speaker 1: to play with our couple, They're just gonna play in
22:39
Speaker 1: the in the in the vicinity of another couple. Not
22:42
Speaker 1: to be ignorant, but his play sex play Yes, Well,
22:48
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's like fooling around or play
22:50
Speaker 1: is like the real the full deal? Yeah, I mean
22:56
Speaker 1: that it can be for sure. I mean really playing
23:00
Speaker 1: could could could just be laying on a bed in
23:03
Speaker 1: an area where other people are laying on beds and
23:05
Speaker 1: you just are making out with your wife your husband.
23:08
Speaker 1: It doesn't necessarily mean you have to have sex. Does
23:10
Speaker 1: it happen in the clubs or you just meet the
23:13
Speaker 1: people in the clubs and then you do this other places.
23:16
Speaker 1: So there's two different types of clubs. Some are off
23:18
Speaker 1: premise where people go to the place and they have
23:21
Speaker 1: sex off the premise, you know, like maybe hotel parties
23:24
Speaker 1: or something like that. Um, but our clubs are on
23:26
Speaker 1: premise clubs, so people have sex at the club. Wow.
23:30
Speaker 1: What if you get all of a sudden you realize like, no,
23:33
Speaker 1: I don't want to do this, then that's it. Then
23:35
Speaker 1: you're just out want to do it, And maybe you
23:39
Speaker 1: have a signal with your partner to let them know
23:41
Speaker 1: that you're you know, a right. Maybe you just come
23:42
Speaker 1: out and say like this isn't for me, let's go
23:45
Speaker 1: have another drink. Well, you, guys, I can't thank you
23:48
Speaker 1: enough for being so open and vulnerable and sharing with us,
23:51
Speaker 1: because you know it, we really knew nothing going into
23:55
Speaker 1: this other than what we could find on the internet.
23:58
Speaker 1: We could keep talking to you, guys, yeah, we could,
24:01
Speaker 1: but we're like getting that, you know, We're like, we're like,
24:03
Speaker 1: oh no, we're running out of time. But thank you
24:05
Speaker 1: so much. We really appreciate it. Sure, we appreciate you
24:08
Speaker 1: talking to us and take the time to listen to
24:11
Speaker 1: our side of the stories. Don't you worry. I'll be
24:13
Speaker 1: checking out your blog open Love one on one dot com.
24:16
Speaker 1: Thanks guys. I mean, so, I know I don't know
24:19
Speaker 1: you that well, but would you ever do this? I
24:22
Speaker 1: don't think I could. I don't. I honestly don't think
24:25
Speaker 1: I could. I mean part of it I was like, Okay,
24:29
Speaker 1: this seems like they're they're healthy and understand And then
24:32
Speaker 1: part of me I was like that like broke my
24:33
Speaker 1: heart a little bit too, because I can imagine the
24:36
Speaker 1: highs and lows that you must have to feel all
24:39
Speaker 1: the time, and I think you're never actually feeling secure
24:43
Speaker 1: with your husband or wife like he seemed very secure
24:46
Speaker 1: like she seems. She was very vulnerable and honest and
24:49
Speaker 1: kind and like you know, straightforward. But he seemed very
24:52
Speaker 1: secure in what he was doing. But you could tell
24:55
Speaker 1: she's still, you know, figuring it out. And I you know,
24:58
Speaker 1: I appreciated her being able to share that way, but
25:01
Speaker 1: I think that's the way a lot of women are
25:03
Speaker 1: going to feel um. So that for me, I mean,
25:08
Speaker 1: it's like middle Ditch said, he said, I'm the gas,
25:10
Speaker 1: she's the brakes. Because she doesn't want to do it.
25:14
Speaker 1: That's the problem. And if your whole marriage is you
25:17
Speaker 1: don't want to do it, it's that's gonna wear on
25:21
Speaker 1: you more than just not having an open relationship I
25:23
Speaker 1: think and trying to keep things spicy other ways. I
25:26
Speaker 1: mean from that, it's being a spicy We got to
25:29
Speaker 1: talk about some of this toad sucking that's been going down.
25:32
Speaker 1: Why is everybody doing it? What do you mean? I
25:34
Speaker 1: love it? Just kidding, Jillian. Your skin is so good.
25:42
Speaker 1: I have a feeling you've already been down in some
25:45
Speaker 1: Beauty Choose on your own, Yes, I I do. I
25:49
Speaker 1: mean Beauty Choose has changed the game when it comes
25:52
Speaker 1: to skincare. They've created a gummy that contains a very
25:55
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25:58
Speaker 1: looking youthful and healthy. Who doesn't want that, right, And
26:01
Speaker 1: we face so many toxins in our daily life, pollution,
26:04
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26:07
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26:10
Speaker 1: up over time, that's when we start to see our
26:12
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26:15
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26:17
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26:24
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26:28
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Speaker 1: slows down aging in our skin by increasing hydration and
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Speaker 1: protecting our collagen, it can actually reverse the damage. It's
26:38
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26:40
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26:42
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Speaker 1: your beauty Choose dot com and enter Teddy at checkout.
27:09
Speaker 1: That's your beauty Choose dot com and enter capital t
27:13
Speaker 1: E d d I at checkout. Okay, So, in regards
27:19
Speaker 1: to the toes sucking, I gotta start with, like the
27:21
Speaker 1: most obvious, have you ever sucked anyone's toes? I never had?
27:26
Speaker 1: And I have never had my toes sucked. I haven't either,
27:29
Speaker 1: And I actually asked my husband and I were talking
27:32
Speaker 1: about it because you know, I was going down the
27:33
Speaker 1: rabbit hole because of all of these people toe sucking,
27:37
Speaker 1: and I was like, baby, I have a question. Would
27:39
Speaker 1: you ever want me to suck your toes? And he
27:41
Speaker 1: was like no? And I go good, because I'd rather
27:44
Speaker 1: cut my own face off than suck your toes. And
27:46
Speaker 1: he goes, you think I'm dying to suck your toes
27:49
Speaker 1: and I'm like, well, they are so cute and look
27:51
Speaker 1: like snausages, but either way, I just I can't imagine
27:55
Speaker 1: being sexually aroused. But then I was like, I don't know,
27:58
Speaker 1: Maybe I am just my my eyes are too closed
28:01
Speaker 1: to the possibility of what could be so sexual about
28:04
Speaker 1: to sucking, right, and we've never tried it, so how
28:06
Speaker 1: do we know? I don't know, but I don't think
28:08
Speaker 1: we should try today. I mean, I have a lot
28:12
Speaker 1: of questions, but I mean, there are so many people
28:14
Speaker 1: to sucking. Julianne Huffs loves her toes being sucked. Yes,
28:18
Speaker 1: her husband Brooks He admitted that she loves it, but
28:22
Speaker 1: he doesn't make her suck his tones. That's a good
28:25
Speaker 1: husband at least, Like you know what, I'm not going
28:27
Speaker 1: to make you go there, I mean min min's feet.
28:30
Speaker 1: There's to me, there's nothing more disgusting than seeing a
28:33
Speaker 1: man in like flip flops or mandols, like, oh, I
28:38
Speaker 1: can't wait to get those bad boys in my mouth. No,
28:42
Speaker 1: lamar Odom was sucking toes, Babies are sucking their parents toes,
28:49
Speaker 1: sing it on Instagrams that I don't even need to
28:52
Speaker 1: get into on that rabbit hole, Like I had enough.
28:55
Speaker 1: Like I read his comments. I was like here for
28:57
Speaker 1: the comments and then I was done. But I do
29:00
Speaker 1: think that we need to get a toe expert on
29:02
Speaker 1: the line to really give give us the juice on
29:06
Speaker 1: like what it is and is it a control thing?
29:09
Speaker 1: You just want to be able to say, you know what,
29:11
Speaker 1: I can get them to suck my friend or do
29:13
Speaker 1: they really just love it? Okay, so there's a guy
29:17
Speaker 1: named the toe bro. Yes, who I think We're going
29:21
Speaker 1: to get a lot of these questions answered? All right toebro.
29:27
Speaker 1: We have a couple of questions. Our questions aren't necessarily
29:31
Speaker 1: surgery related, but they are about the cleanliness of toes.
29:37
Speaker 1: Like how dirty are toes? It depends on how clean
29:41
Speaker 1: the person is, but yes, toes could be pretty dirty,
29:44
Speaker 1: depending in the environment they're in. What's dirty or a
29:46
Speaker 1: tongue or a toe? Probably the tongue. Sorry, Edwin, we're
29:52
Speaker 1: never making out again. They're saying that hands are dirtier
29:57
Speaker 1: than feet, So, but tongues. That's in your mouth where
30:00
Speaker 1: I'm like brushing it. There's a lot of back. Well
30:03
Speaker 1: maybe your mouth is pretty good other people's mouth, thanks
30:05
Speaker 1: toe bros killing it? Um? So, how should one properly
30:11
Speaker 1: prepare to have their toe sucked? Definitely, some good soap
30:16
Speaker 1: and water and scrub that baby down and get all
30:20
Speaker 1: the toe jam out. No, what if somebody has athletes
30:26
Speaker 1: foot or something or planners wards, right, Can it transfer anywhere? Yes?
30:32
Speaker 1: It can? So that is a gross thing about about feet.
30:36
Speaker 1: So if that person had warts on his toe and
30:41
Speaker 1: you suck on that toe, you could definitely get some
30:44
Speaker 1: warts around the mouth. No, and what what would it
30:48
Speaker 1: be called around your mouth? Would it still be called
30:50
Speaker 1: planners words? No? So a planter's worts is just a wart,
30:54
Speaker 1: usually on the bottom of the foot, So it just
30:56
Speaker 1: be like a an oral warts. Not the same as
31:00
Speaker 1: general to warts, but would be another type of words
31:02
Speaker 1: that you know, kids or people get on their hands.
31:05
Speaker 1: I'm good with the oral warts um okay. And then
31:12
Speaker 1: oh and fungus for sure, so let fungal infection of
31:16
Speaker 1: the skin on the toe can definitely you can get
31:19
Speaker 1: it in your jockey that's why they call it jockey
31:21
Speaker 1: and that can spread to anywhere on the body, so
31:23
Speaker 1: that your toe stuff is what causes jocket. It's the
31:27
Speaker 1: same kind of fungus. Yep, that's disgusting. I have a
31:34
Speaker 1: son and now I'm all amped up about the thought
31:37
Speaker 1: of him getting athletes foot and jockey edge, okay, so
31:40
Speaker 1: he yeah, it's pretty pretty cools. You just gotta make
31:43
Speaker 1: sure he drives in between the toes. That's huge. Wait,
31:45
Speaker 1: so I have a question. Is there a scientific reason
31:47
Speaker 1: as to why people like getting their toe sucked? I
31:51
Speaker 1: don't know if you're I would say it, but I
31:54
Speaker 1: would say using the toebro mind is that there's a
31:57
Speaker 1: lot of nerve endings on the bottom of your foot,
32:00
Speaker 1: so I guess those being stimulated might make some people
32:03
Speaker 1: feel good. Do you think it's also a control thing
32:07
Speaker 1: that's not my He's like, listen, lady, I you know
32:12
Speaker 1: I do surgeries. Oh no, but me dealing with field day.
32:15
Speaker 1: When I saw that video, I was just shocked. I
32:19
Speaker 1: was so disgusted. There's been a lot of videos. It's
32:24
Speaker 1: hard to narrow them down. I've been down all of
32:26
Speaker 1: the rabbit hole holes of but oh it's yeah, it's
32:31
Speaker 1: could be pretty gross because I just think of all
32:33
Speaker 1: the feet I see every single day, and the average
32:35
Speaker 1: person's foot isn't the cleanest or this that doesn't smell
32:39
Speaker 1: the prettiest. So I just can't imagine just having a
32:41
Speaker 1: little baby suck on a toe. That was just shocking.
32:45
Speaker 1: What's the grossest thing you've ever seen on a foot
32:48
Speaker 1: or a toe? An infected wound. Those are probably the
32:51
Speaker 1: grossest things you could ever smell or see, you know
32:55
Speaker 1: what adding the smell and that was a low blow
32:57
Speaker 1: toe bro. Well, honestly, we couldn't have done this without you.
33:04
Speaker 1: Um now, we kind of we were definitely sold on
33:07
Speaker 1: the fact that we don't need to be sucking toes
33:09
Speaker 1: anytime soon. Bottom line, if we do wash our feet,
33:12
Speaker 1: wash your feet with soap and water and don't have
33:14
Speaker 1: any open wounds, I think I think we can basically
33:21
Speaker 1: and we could watch the toebro on Annie. Oh we can't.
33:24
Speaker 1: I cannot wait. We're going to learn even more about feet,
33:27
Speaker 1: but no to s just about feet. That's okay, fine, Hello,
33:34
Speaker 1: Hi is this Dr Stephanie. Yes, it is Hi. It's
33:38
Speaker 1: Teddy and Jillian. Well, hello there, Hi. So we're good.
33:44
Speaker 1: We're just you know, stuck on some things that we
33:46
Speaker 1: were hoping to get some questions answered from you. If
33:48
Speaker 1: you have a couple of minutes and we thought we'd
33:50
Speaker 1: call the sex Guru. Absolutely absolutely, I'm honored to be
33:56
Speaker 1: a part of your show. Well, thanks, so we're having
34:00
Speaker 1: We're just gonna dive right in. Let's do it. What
34:04
Speaker 1: is like what is a toe fetish? Okay? Well, a
34:09
Speaker 1: toe fetish is part of the foot fetish, which is
34:13
Speaker 1: actually very common. There's actually several degrees of a foot fetish.
34:19
Speaker 1: One is a true fetish that um, someone cannot get
34:26
Speaker 1: an erection or aroused or have an orgasm unless it
34:30
Speaker 1: involves the foot or the toe or any part of
34:33
Speaker 1: the foot that they have the fetish about. The other
34:37
Speaker 1: part is just a simple kink meaning, uh, they're turned
34:42
Speaker 1: on by toes or they're turned on by feet, but
34:45
Speaker 1: they don't necessarily have to have them to achieve the
34:48
Speaker 1: erection or achieve the orgasm. And then the there's also
34:53
Speaker 1: the worshiping aspect of the feet, which a lot of
34:58
Speaker 1: people are into, and of the toes, and it's common
35:03
Speaker 1: for you said worship okay, sorry, yeah that's my that's
35:09
Speaker 1: my Texas accent coming out. No, I just wanted to
35:11
Speaker 1: make sure like they worshiped the feet, like the feet
35:14
Speaker 1: are like queen or uh, well, if it's the female,
35:19
Speaker 1: she's her feet are being worshiped as if she's the
35:22
Speaker 1: goddess and yeah, and they stuck on her toes and
35:26
Speaker 1: it's sort of like, well it's sort of like a
35:31
Speaker 1: dominant submissive type of thing. Yes, I guess it could
35:33
Speaker 1: be considered control and vice versa. UM. You know, the
35:38
Speaker 1: female or the male that is um worshiping the feet
35:42
Speaker 1: of the male or sucking his toes, is wanting to
35:45
Speaker 1: show him he's the god, he's you know, his master, um,
35:51
Speaker 1: you know, sucking on his toes to bring him pleasure.
35:55
Speaker 1: And you know there's a lot of nerve endings in
35:57
Speaker 1: the feet too that a lot of people find very rotic.
36:00
Speaker 1: We actually just heard that what's more common for the
36:03
Speaker 1: person who gets their toe sucked to get off or
36:06
Speaker 1: the person that's doing the toe sucking. I think it
36:10
Speaker 1: if you're looking for the perfect world, you need two
36:15
Speaker 1: partners that are fully into it. Oh because a lot
36:18
Speaker 1: of well we read it's very one sided. It can be.
36:22
Speaker 1: But the problem because ideal that's my specializations is fetishes,
36:26
Speaker 1: and so I deal with a lot of individuals who
36:29
Speaker 1: have certain fetishes and I tell them straight out own
36:33
Speaker 1: your fetish, be proud of that, because that's what makes
36:36
Speaker 1: you unique, makes you unique and special. So therefore you
36:40
Speaker 1: have to be upfront and honest when you're seeking a
36:42
Speaker 1: partner so that you can get someone that's into that
36:45
Speaker 1: as well. There's someone out there for everyone. I received
36:50
Speaker 1: an email a couple of weeks ago from a guy,
36:53
Speaker 1: and he was very upfront and he said, the reason
36:56
Speaker 1: I'm contacting you is I would love to just massage
37:00
Speaker 1: your feet. And he said for a half hour, an hour,
37:05
Speaker 1: whatever you're comfortable with. I'll even pay you. This is
37:08
Speaker 1: a stranger, a complete stranger. But he was very very
37:11
Speaker 1: nice about it. But, like you said, very upfront and
37:14
Speaker 1: said that I just I have a fetish and I
37:16
Speaker 1: want to touch your feet. And I said, I didn't respond,
37:20
Speaker 1: but I mean there's websites dedicated He was wanting to
37:27
Speaker 1: worship your feet, you know, he wanted to worship you
37:30
Speaker 1: as a goddess. But it was a sexual arousal for him.
37:34
Speaker 1: So unless you're that was something you wanted to do,
37:37
Speaker 1: it's wise if you not to do it. Do you
37:39
Speaker 1: think it's possible that people could have a toe fetish
37:42
Speaker 1: and not even know it just because they've never given
37:44
Speaker 1: it a shot. Um, No, not a fetish. I'm not
37:51
Speaker 1: sure I have any fetishes. Maybe orders often occur early
37:56
Speaker 1: in childhood or ride around the time we start to
37:59
Speaker 1: get sexual, like you adolescents, or you know, it depends
38:02
Speaker 1: on if you're like Bloomer, early twenties. Uh, that's when
38:05
Speaker 1: you know you got it. It's not usually something that
38:08
Speaker 1: develops later in life. It makes you special, makes you unique. Great,
38:16
Speaker 1: neither of us are special. Maybe maybe I'll develop mine
38:19
Speaker 1: at forty. Okay, thank you so much, Dr Sefany. You
38:25
Speaker 1: provided us with so much good information and I feel
38:29
Speaker 1: like I'm leaving this well aware now to make some
38:34
Speaker 1: some big decisions. And I want to keep my feet
38:36
Speaker 1: clean at all times. You never know, you never now.
38:39
Speaker 1: On that. On that note, you have to remember that
38:42
Speaker 1: there are plenty of people out there that they're fetish
38:45
Speaker 1: is smelly feet. No, you know what, Dr Safy, ma'am.
38:51
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Yes, ma'am. I'm I'm an expert on this.
38:56
Speaker 1: I've heard it all, trust me. Wow, you know what,
39:00
Speaker 1: I'd be happy? No, thank you, Well, I know what.
39:04
Speaker 1: I'm definitely don't have a fetish for smelly feet. Thank you.
39:11
Speaker 1: All right, thank you very much. Bye, And you can
39:13
Speaker 1: find out more about Dr Stephanie at Stephanie Hunter Jones
39:17
Speaker 1: dot com. Wells are you gonna come over? I feel
39:21
Speaker 1: like we need some like testosterone over here to really
39:25
Speaker 1: You've been making some comments over there, Yeah, like what
39:28
Speaker 1: is it called from this side the Peanut Gallery. The
39:30
Speaker 1: Peanut Gallery. I've been listening to this entire episode and
39:34
Speaker 1: I love it. It's gotten super weird, which I'm excited about.
39:42
Speaker 1: Um One, Danielle brought up the pineapple thing, which is
39:46
Speaker 1: fantastic because I live in Nashville for like twelve years
39:51
Speaker 1: and there is a community that lives outside of Nashville
39:57
Speaker 1: that the pineapple thing is a real thing. So we
40:02
Speaker 1: heard about this, and I know someone who like told
40:08
Speaker 1: us that they lived there, and they're like, oh, dude,
40:10
Speaker 1: did you hear about the pineapple? The pineapple means you're
40:14
Speaker 1: a sweaer, but you have to live in a certain
40:16
Speaker 1: part of town to qualify. Like I don't know, like
40:19
Speaker 1: just in Nashville. This was just like right outside of Nashville,
40:22
Speaker 1: um and like a lot of people live there. And
40:25
Speaker 1: so I knew someone who lived there and we used
40:28
Speaker 1: to just go put pineapples on his porn. Would people not?
40:34
Speaker 1: I don't know. I was just excited about putting the
40:38
Speaker 1: pineapple there. And I was like, he didn't follow, you
40:41
Speaker 1: didn't even go down the rabbit hole. I was just
40:43
Speaker 1: excited about that. I was just talking about like someone
40:45
Speaker 1: who runs out of them because of the pineapple that
40:48
Speaker 1: was where I left it. Well, I couldn't have left
40:51
Speaker 1: it there. I'd have to follow up. You know, if
40:52
Speaker 1: people came, people might have came, people might have I mean,
40:58
Speaker 1: you know a lot of you know, not that kind
41:01
Speaker 1: of show. Well as we keep it high high brow here,
41:03
Speaker 1: I've listened to this entire show. This is exactly what
41:06
Speaker 1: this show is. Sorry, I know, sorry, I'm also real quick.
41:12
Speaker 1: Is the show called Down the rabbit Hole? Now it's
41:14
Speaker 1: called Teddy te Pod. No change the name of the show.
41:18
Speaker 1: It needs to be called Teddy Goes Down the rabbit
41:20
Speaker 1: Hole because that's what you've talked about this entire time,
41:22
Speaker 1: about going down the rabbit hole. I know, Well, because
41:25
Speaker 1: there's but there's so many rabbit holes. I know, there's
41:28
Speaker 1: so many. There's a toe sucking rabbit hole. Okay, so
41:33
Speaker 1: are you into toe sucking? Yes or no? But I've
41:36
Speaker 1: sucked on a toe just currently. No, not currently, but
41:40
Speaker 1: I have sucked on a toe. I'm like, were you
41:42
Speaker 1: into it you're excited to suck on the toe or
41:46
Speaker 1: where you're not? I but it's different. It's different for
41:51
Speaker 1: women that I think it is for men. I really do.
41:55
Speaker 1: Someone said, yeah, they're because men's feet are disgusting. Absolutely, No,
42:02
Speaker 1: there's just actually don't even have socks on. I can't
42:04
Speaker 1: even imagine what's going on in No. No, I actually
42:06
Speaker 1: do have socks on, but I have like these socks
42:09
Speaker 1: on that are like even sex here, like ballet socks,
42:13
Speaker 1: which I'm just not impressed with it at all. Um.
42:17
Speaker 1: But it's different though, I think because for men, if
42:23
Speaker 1: you're making sweet sweet love, women's feet are up in
42:27
Speaker 1: the air no matter what you know. Yes, like I've
42:32
Speaker 1: had hands touching and kissing of the legs, but there's
42:35
Speaker 1: never been a necessity for the toes. There's a different
42:38
Speaker 1: necessity for anything that happens in the bedroom. Actually there is.
42:42
Speaker 1: I mean, I hate to break it to you, Well
42:45
Speaker 1: there's some necess there's like three things that need but
42:48
Speaker 1: sometimes you get weird with it, and for me it's
42:50
Speaker 1: like one. Um, but yeah, I did it one time,
42:58
Speaker 1: a couple of times. Okay, so one already went to
43:01
Speaker 1: a couple of times. So it's a pretty common Jillian.
43:03
Speaker 1: We are like not were like behind and when you
43:09
Speaker 1: were sucking this toe, this one toe, were you enjoying it?
43:14
Speaker 1: Because I feel like I don't know this the person
43:16
Speaker 1: doing the sucking enjoy it as well as a person
43:18
Speaker 1: who's getting sucked. I don't know. I just think I
43:21
Speaker 1: was like involved in whatever weirdness that was happening, was
43:26
Speaker 1: the toe being thrusted near your face, and like you
43:29
Speaker 1: were like, oh, this is something that's That's what I'm saying. Like,
43:32
Speaker 1: if the legs are up in the air, God, I
43:35
Speaker 1: hope my mom doesn't want this shop. And that's why
43:37
Speaker 1: I'm thinking this entire podcast, and like my poor family.
43:41
Speaker 1: I've done so much damage to my family. That doesn't
43:44
Speaker 1: matter at this point. But like if the legs are
43:46
Speaker 1: up in the air and then there's just like that's
43:48
Speaker 1: around you, does that make sense? I get the visual.
43:52
Speaker 1: I still don't get the necessity. There's no necessity for
43:55
Speaker 1: any of this stuff that we're doing. But it happens.
44:00
Speaker 1: It happened, It happened, It had a couple of times,
44:04
Speaker 1: happened a couple of times. It's not something that like
44:06
Speaker 1: I I stick with, but it's it's not your go
44:08
Speaker 1: to move, it's not my gut to my other thing
44:11
Speaker 1: that I wanted to talk about by listening to this
44:12
Speaker 1: whole thing, because it is very evident that it seems
44:19
Speaker 1: like you guys are like against the guy on the
44:24
Speaker 1: polyamorous um open relationship thing. But have you guys heard
44:29
Speaker 1: of and I don't know if IMNA say this right? Cuckolding? No?
44:33
Speaker 1: How did I miss this? So like cuckolding like a
44:38
Speaker 1: like a cuckold, which I don't think. It's like a thing.
44:40
Speaker 1: I need more information because I don't have my phone
44:43
Speaker 1: easily accessible to do you want me to do this
44:45
Speaker 1: on your show? Um? So like a cuckold, I think?
44:51
Speaker 1: And I could be totally wrong about this. This is
44:55
Speaker 1: different than the toe sucking thing. This is something I
44:58
Speaker 1: do not know about. But it's when a woman sleeps
45:03
Speaker 1: with another man in front of their boyfriend or husband
45:08
Speaker 1: and like shames him about it. Well, that's because the
45:11
Speaker 1: man wants it though he wants to be shamed. I
45:14
Speaker 1: watched all about this on what is the show Billions?
45:18
Speaker 1: I mean that's it's not that's not real life, I guess.
45:20
Speaker 1: But either way, he enjoyed being shamed by his wife. Okay,
45:25
Speaker 1: so like it's still a discussion that they've had, so
45:29
Speaker 1: he will go and whether they're going to a sex
45:31
Speaker 1: club or whatever it is. That's something that made him
45:35
Speaker 1: get off. So the man's she's still doing it for
45:38
Speaker 1: the man, I guess, but I don't know, Like the
45:42
Speaker 1: just the envisioning what that looks like, that can't be
45:46
Speaker 1: for the man. I think that like both parties are
45:49
Speaker 1: enjoying that. I don't really know. I don't really know.
45:51
Speaker 1: I haven't tried, but I think that, Okay, I'll agree
45:55
Speaker 1: with you. Maybe I was a little one sided on
45:57
Speaker 1: the situation. That being said, all of the experts we
46:01
Speaker 1: had come on, we're also with me. Yeah, I agree
46:06
Speaker 1: with you, But like there was just like I wish
46:09
Speaker 1: we had a call that was the well, don't you
46:12
Speaker 1: worry I have where's the Coco call? Yeah, you know,
46:16
Speaker 1: you don't have to shame me because I'm going out
46:19
Speaker 1: every rabbit hole. You know what. You only have so
46:22
Speaker 1: many hours in a night. I think technically the cuckhold
46:25
Speaker 1: is it's like holding CUCKOLDERI cuckold. There's all variations. It's
46:31
Speaker 1: a man who is aware of his wife's infidelities. It
46:36
Speaker 1: doesn't explicitly say he has to watch it, but that
46:39
Speaker 1: might be added. That sounds so gorgeous. I wanted to
46:45
Speaker 1: get let's just make up a new term and just start.
46:49
Speaker 1: This is what people do now it's called what I
46:52
Speaker 1: can't come up with the name. I'm not creative, so brilliant,
46:58
Speaker 1: Oh you well about cuck holding is the closeness of
47:02
Speaker 1: the cuck part to another word. Yeah, I didn't miss
47:07
Speaker 1: that talk holding. But that's why I thought that maybe
47:12
Speaker 1: Wells was right. But now you know, now we know
47:14
Speaker 1: he's just made up a term himself. But either way,
47:19
Speaker 1: So a man knows his wife's cheating on him and
47:22
Speaker 1: he's like into it, he's into it, gets off on
47:27
Speaker 1: the fact that other people are into his wife. Yeah.
47:31
Speaker 1: And then I also think that there's another wrinkle in
47:33
Speaker 1: it where please don't say wrinkle in this topic, like honestly,
47:39
Speaker 1: yeah it god alright, that he likes being talked down
47:49
Speaker 1: to in front of the other man. Yeah, that that's
47:54
Speaker 1: like some FFT up staff. Wait I thought this is
47:57
Speaker 1: what this podcast was. No, Jessica, No, this is good.
48:01
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, like, who I can't imagine being like
48:05
Speaker 1: talked down to me and have sex with somebody else
48:08
Speaker 1: in front of me. These two things make me feel great.
48:10
Speaker 1: So no matter what, the guy that's in the corner watching,
48:13
Speaker 1: he's into it. It's not like he's being held there again,
48:15
Speaker 1: that's the husband though, but he's into it, like he's
48:18
Speaker 1: okay with I don't know, but I know it's a thing. Okay,
48:22
Speaker 1: he has he this he hasn't experienced. I have not
48:25
Speaker 1: experienced that, but I know it's a I've heard about it.
48:29
Speaker 1: Like and like, I think that goes deep. I mean,
48:33
Speaker 1: I don't know. I have no degrees in anything, but
48:36
Speaker 1: like I feel like that has to go down just
48:39
Speaker 1: like deep down childhood shame or something that's like past,
48:43
Speaker 1: like somebody being a little bit narcissistic and wanting all
48:46
Speaker 1: the checks. Yeah, you're right, you want to be shamed. Ever,
48:51
Speaker 1: I'm messed up. Look at me. I spent hours on
48:53
Speaker 1: the internet researching nonsense. You didn't look in the what
48:59
Speaker 1: if dropped the ball? I was the thing. By the way,
49:06
Speaker 1: the episode is not allowed to be called wellsing. You
49:11
Speaker 1: know what, I'm trade market. You just can't. For those
49:18
Speaker 1: of you who don't know Wells. Wells was on The Bachelorette,
49:21
Speaker 1: he was on Bachelo in Paradise. He's the bartender in
49:25
Speaker 1: this past episode, over this past season and earlier before
49:28
Speaker 1: we started, I was sitting in this room and there
49:30
Speaker 1: was just Bachelor Nation just sprawled out across the room,
49:34
Speaker 1: and I was doing everything in my power to like
49:36
Speaker 1: be normal watching you guys all interact in real life.
49:39
Speaker 1: I'm such a fan of the franchise, and I was
49:42
Speaker 1: just so excited to see everybody in this room. Is
49:44
Speaker 1: it weird to see us interact with each other like
49:48
Speaker 1: in a normal setting A little bit? Yeah, Like, you
49:51
Speaker 1: guys are so normal totally, and we're all like very
49:54
Speaker 1: friend I think that's the one thing that people don't
49:56
Speaker 1: remember when they watched the show, is that everyone super
50:01
Speaker 1: friendly because we all experience some weird thing that not
50:06
Speaker 1: a lot of people can relate to, you know, um,
50:10
Speaker 1: like being broken down and ripped apart and have like
50:14
Speaker 1: nothing but therapy every single day about like weird relationships,
50:19
Speaker 1: makes this weird bond that happens and national talent while
50:23
Speaker 1: on national television and and well here's the thing that
50:26
Speaker 1: I think that everyone forgets. It happens and that's like
50:30
Speaker 1: really raw and really real, and then four months later
50:35
Speaker 1: it airs and then you have to relive it. And
50:38
Speaker 1: that's a tough thing for a lot of people to experience.
50:42
Speaker 1: And so when all of us come together, even people
50:45
Speaker 1: that like it's always funny to me, like when people
50:47
Speaker 1: are not friends in the show or like enemies or
50:50
Speaker 1: villains or whatever, and then you bring them together, they're
50:54
Speaker 1: still cool with one another because like no one can
50:57
Speaker 1: relate to what it was like living on that beach
51:01
Speaker 1: or whatever it was, or live being in Prague, you know,
51:04
Speaker 1: week seven of a show. Uh, it's just this, it's
51:10
Speaker 1: a weird thing that it's just glue that brings everyone together.
51:14
Speaker 1: So like for you to see us all together, Like,
51:16
Speaker 1: first of all, I love everybody because I'm the bartender,
51:19
Speaker 1: so like everyone has to like me. But yeah, life back.
51:26
Speaker 1: But yeah, but for the most part, like we're all
51:29
Speaker 1: super tight and the show can make us look like
51:34
Speaker 1: we're against one another, but that's not really the case
51:36
Speaker 1: for the most part. Yeah, I loved seeing that today
51:39
Speaker 1: and the show is what essentially brought you to find love,
51:43
Speaker 1: not necessarily on the show, but thanks to a tweet.
51:46
Speaker 1: I haven't even gone down this rabbit hole yet. Oh yeah,
51:48
Speaker 1: I need all the I need all the info. So um,
51:52
Speaker 1: what happened was that I was on the Bachelorette like
51:55
Speaker 1: years ago. Well that I know I'm on that that
51:57
Speaker 1: part you're on that part of the rabbit hole. I
52:00
Speaker 1: mean the other part of the you don't know is
52:02
Speaker 1: that um my fiance is a huge fan of the
52:06
Speaker 1: Bacherette and she like tweeted about me on the show
52:10
Speaker 1: and what did she say? So it was like a
52:13
Speaker 1: mental all and I made a couple of literary references,
52:18
Speaker 1: and I think she tweeted out like, well's the best
52:22
Speaker 1: he actually can read? You know, like who knew like
52:25
Speaker 1: bench where people could read or something like that. Uh.
52:28
Speaker 1: And then I think I responded to that publicly on Twitter. Yeah,
52:32
Speaker 1: I think, like jokingly. And then we started d m
52:35
Speaker 1: NG and then like things didn't pan out, and then
52:38
Speaker 1: I became the bartender and then she was excited about
52:42
Speaker 1: that and tweeted about that, and then I respond to that,
52:44
Speaker 1: and then we started talking again. And then fast forward
52:49
Speaker 1: to today we're engaged to be married and CONGRATU from
52:55
Speaker 1: a modern family. Yes, I love this. This is so good.
52:58
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm so old that back in my day,
53:00
Speaker 1: if I wanted to like meet somebody, I had to
53:02
Speaker 1: go to attempt to dance at a club and like
53:04
Speaker 1: someone come chat with me. Like sliding into d m
53:07
Speaker 1: S as a whole new well and Well has kind
53:10
Speaker 1: of started this trend now of these people from Bachelor, Bachelorette,
53:16
Speaker 1: dating celebrities. Yeah, Tyler c is Now I saw that.
53:21
Speaker 1: I don't know if this is true, but I saw that,
53:24
Speaker 1: like he couldn't be he chose Gi over the Bachelor
53:26
Speaker 1: or something like that, and I was like, you know what,
53:29
Speaker 1: I not a hard choice? Are you kidding me? Uh? Yeah?
53:35
Speaker 1: He mean like the joke is that I walked so
53:40
Speaker 1: Tyler and Mike could run, He says the joke. He's like,
53:44
Speaker 1: grinning with pride, starting to get red. Understand how excited
53:49
Speaker 1: I am about this because I did so much leg
53:51
Speaker 1: work to make this a thing. Hold on, Tyler? Who
53:55
Speaker 1: hold on? Not Mike, who was just here? Who's just here?
53:58
Speaker 1: It's dating been supposedly DEMI and him are like a thing.
54:02
Speaker 1: Did he say anything today? I mean, I'm not gonna
54:05
Speaker 1: say this on this podcast, but I'm excited about it.
54:07
Speaker 1: That's all that needs to be said. Your voice one up?
54:09
Speaker 1: So he is he said something about it, and then um,
54:13
Speaker 1: Nick Vile Yeah with the summer from the o C right,
54:23
Speaker 1: But I don't know if that. I don't know if
54:24
Speaker 1: that was true. And I'm friends with Nick, so he
54:26
Speaker 1: hasn't hasn't told me that, But well most nothing in
54:30
Speaker 1: the world would be for him to not tell me
54:33
Speaker 1: this so that you could find out and then talk
54:36
Speaker 1: about it on well, like who doesn't. Well you know
54:41
Speaker 1: what you've really you let a movement here, I feel
54:46
Speaker 1: I'm very proud of. I'm excited to see the couples
54:48
Speaker 1: to come. Yeah, we'll see for sure. Called this well,
54:52
Speaker 1: this is this is this is much better than you
54:59
Speaker 1: can stand by this this one, I'm proud of the
55:02
Speaker 1: other one not so much. Before you go, well, what
55:05
Speaker 1: did you think of Luke p from Hannah season? That
55:08
Speaker 1: guy scared me, Like I've never been legitimately scared from
55:13
Speaker 1: watching a show, but he was like on a different
55:17
Speaker 1: level and I could wish him the best of whatnot
55:27
Speaker 1: we love it? I mean I wish blesses hard bless
55:32
Speaker 1: that's the most southern thing in the world, but like
55:36
Speaker 1: the most like like sociopath narcissist guy ever. And he
55:45
Speaker 1: was so far on that show gas lighting you guys,
55:49
Speaker 1: we next week should we go down? So what is
55:51
Speaker 1: it is? So gas lighting would be like, Okay, let's
55:57
Speaker 1: say you're in a relationship and you're talking about, Hey,
56:01
Speaker 1: I would love if you could just you know, reciprocate
56:04
Speaker 1: more okay, I will do that. And then three weeks
56:07
Speaker 1: later they treat you like bleep and you're like, hey,
56:10
Speaker 1: remember we sort of discussed, uh, you reciprocating more. We
56:14
Speaker 1: never talked about that, or it would be I would
56:16
Speaker 1: have reciprocated more, but you didn't do blah blah blah blah.
56:19
Speaker 1: So it's actually your fault that I am the way
56:21
Speaker 1: that I am. Wait, hold on, you just overtook that
56:24
Speaker 1: whole thing. Are we doing narcissism or are we doing gaslightersky?
56:30
Speaker 1: Gas Lighting is an action. Being a narcissist is a
56:33
Speaker 1: state of gas Lighting is something narcissists do. Fair, fair, Okay,
56:40
Speaker 1: So maybe we'll talk in the vein of narcissism, gaslight,
56:45
Speaker 1: and sociopath what's sociopaths or killers? Narcissists are just boys.
56:56
Speaker 1: Gaslighting guys are literally every when you're gonna meet the
57:00
Speaker 1: bar tonight, that's where we are. The people that were
57:04
Speaker 1: just in this room. Well, on that note, I guess, uh,
57:10
Speaker 1: we gotta close up, We gotta we gotta close the
57:13
Speaker 1: whole tonight. Thanks for listening. Subscribe to any teapot on
57:17
Speaker 1: I Heart radio or wherever you listen to podcasts.