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5 Min Pocket Pep Talk: Listen to This When You Scroll Away Your Feelings · The Nadia Chapman Show

• 0:00
  Welcome to the 5-Minute Pocket Pip-Talk. I'm Nadia Chapman.
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  Today, let's talk about what really happens after a long day,
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  after a hard day. You know the kind.
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  The day where something is just, you know, didn't go the right way,
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  or you felt behind, or you had a conversation that kind of lingered longer than
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  it should have. Maybe you're disappointing yourself.
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  Maybe someone else disappointed you.
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  Maybe it's just been the longest day ever. And you walk in the door or you sit
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  down on the couch and almost automatically...
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  You reach for the phone and you tell yourself, I just need to relax for a few minutes.
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  And you know, 45 minutes later, you are still scrolling.
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  Now, listen, I'm not anti-scrolling. I do it too sometimes.
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  I'm not about to tell you to delete every app on your phone and live in the
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  forest and, you know, I don't know, be productive 24-7.
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  We all need downtime. We all need decompression and the brain does need a break at some point.
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  But here's the part that I want you to understand today.
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  Sometimes what we're calling relaxing is actually avoiding.
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  And when you had a hard day or a long day and there's usually an emotion sitting
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  underneath it, whether it's frustration or maybe it was embarrassment or disappointment,
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  and maybe it was pressure.
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  You know, those emotions are very uncomfortable and they create tension in your body.
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  They create noise in your head.
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  And scrolling now is becoming a fast relief.
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  So with every swipe, it gives your brain a small hit of novelty.
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  Oh, a new image, a new story, a distraction.
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  A lot of it is distraction. And for a moment, that stimulation kind of,
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  you know, takes away the discomfort that you felt.
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  So it's like a relief. It's not restoration.
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  There's a difference because rest restores your nervous system.
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  It calms you. It processes the day.
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  It helps you kind of integrate what happened. But avoidance distracts you from the day.
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  It pushes the emotion kind of away just long enough so you don't have to feel it anymore.
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  And here's a problem with pushing it down. It doesn't disappear.
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  It just waits. It's still going to be there. You know, it's going to show up
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  later, maybe as lack of focus on what you should be focusing on,
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  most of the time as low motivation.
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  And most people don't scroll because they're necessarily tired or lazy.
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  They scroll because they don't want to sit in discomfort with just being quiet
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  with their thoughts and being alone for five minutes.
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  And I get it. Discomfort is not fun. It's easier to consume,
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  you know, someone else's life online than reflect on your own life.
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  But if you want growth, if you want clarity and you want confidence in your
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  life, you've got to learn how to sit with your own emotional static instead
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  of constantly muting it.
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  So the question is not about, oh, should I scroll?
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  The question is, why am I reaching for this right now as a band-aid?
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  Am I intentionally relaxing or am I trying not to feel something?
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  Am I avoiding something?
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  Because those are two different things. International relaxation,
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  you know, will look like you decide that you're going to go watch.
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  I don't know, something funny for 20 minutes and really unwind and feel lighter afterward.
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  But avoidance is, it's restless.
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  You're not really enjoying what you're looking at, you're swiping. And
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  when you finally put the phone down well you don't
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  feel restored you feel kind of drained and
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  that's the clue right there feeling drained you
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  don't need to eliminate scrolling you need to interrupt the
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  autopilot so next time that you've had a hard day or and then you reach out
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  for your phone pause for a second seriously literally 60 second ask yourself
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  what am i avoiding feeling right now It's okay to stay in quiet and stay with
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  your feelings. It's a good thing.
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  So ask yourself, what am I avoiding?
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  You might hear, well, I'm disappointed or I'm embarrassed or I'm just overwhelmed.
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  But naming it and sitting with it will change the game.
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  So when you label your emotion, the intensity drops because most emotions pass
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  within five minutes when you allow them.
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  Ha! It's the resisting that makes it linger. So five minutes of honesty.
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  Okay, putting the phone down will do far more in your confidence and in your
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  life than an hour of distraction because emotional strength is not about never
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  feeling uncomfortable.
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  It's about trusting yourself enough that you can sit in it without running. All right.
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  Scrolling isn't bad, but unconscious strolling after a bad day trains your brain
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  to avoid instead of processing.
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  And avoidance keeps you stuck in patterns you say you want to outgrow.
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  So tonight, if the day felt heavy, try something different.
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  Take a shower, go for a short walk, maybe sit in silence for a few minutes,
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  journal, journaling is great.
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  So journal, you know, a couple pages, breathe, breathe longer than you think
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  you need to, and just sit and quiet, listen to music. I don't know, read a book.
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  I'm not your Chapman. And here's a reminder, don't confuse numbing with resting.
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  One keeps you distracted, and the other one actually makes you stronger. I'll see you next time.