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Ridiculous History Presents: A History of "Adult" Toys, Part 2 · Ridiculous History

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Ridiculous History is a production of I Heart Radio A
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: little Ridiculous Historians. This is your heads up that we
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: are doing something a little bit different this week that
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: might not be for everyone. It's a wild ride. We
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: very much enjoyed it. We're hanging with our good good
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: friends Eli and Diana Banks at Ridiculous Romance. But no,
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: we're talking about something a little saucier than we would
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: talk about on Ridiculous History, aren't we. That's right. Today's
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: episode is about the history of sauce. No, a different
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: kind of sauce. Um No, yeah, sauciness, that's right, Ben.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: Today's episode is part two of the History of Sex Toys,
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: about implements throughout history that have been designed to stimulate
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: and to arouse. So understandably, this is one that's maybe
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: not for the kiddos, you know, unless they're I mean,
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: they've sort of stripped sex said from the schools these days,
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: so maybe that's exactly what the kiddos need. Who are
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: we to say, we just wanted to give fair warning
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: as all. There's gonna be some uh, some raunchy talk, yes,
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: frank and candid talk, uh, enlightening, illuminating, and it's an
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: It's an interesting way to explore history. It's an interesting
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: way to explore society as well. I do want to
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: see our bodies and our bodies which are wonderlands. As
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: you mentioned earlier. If you, uh, if you enjoy family
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: experience where you're listening with more sensitive loved ones or
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: with kids, uh, we draw your attention to some earlier
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: episodes we did. I just want to take a second
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: knowl and brag. Can we brag? Can we brag on?
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: Max Williams? Super producer Max Williams surprised the heck out
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: of us just recently, right before we hit the road
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: when I once again through Max under the Lionel train
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: and acted like we had a big sounds cue on
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: the way. But hot gosh, man, he did it. Also,
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: I'm saying, hot gosh, No, yeah, that that's not There's
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: not gonna be any of that hedging uh in the
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: actual episode, No, hot gosh, we go we go full
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: bore Ethan and Jeff m but no man. I UM,
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: I was in a bit of a slump that day.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: I was having some family issues that I was dealing with.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: And um our buddy uh and compatriot Matt Frederick Mr.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: Matt Frederick. Mr. Matt Frederick texted me repeatedly asking me
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: to check out the QA for that day's episode or
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: there the episode that went live, and finally got around
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: to it and realized that Max had in fact recruited Matt, Matt,
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: Max and Matt to do a guest vocal on the
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: Max with the Facts sound cue, which is now forever
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: emblazoned uh in the cannon of ridiculous history. So thank
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: you both for that because it certainly cheered me right up.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: That's wonderful, that's wonderful, and this is this is one
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: of the parts of this world right now. Yeah, yeah,
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: we said that sneaking in phone back and he's fallen
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: thellege just for you right now here we fact God,
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: so good, so good, And should we hear the other one? Yeah,
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: let's hear the ultra one. Why not phone back and
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: he drop in the hollege just for you. So good.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: There we go, oh, oh, so good. It's a Mommy
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: for the ears. You can check that out in the
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: wild on a previous episode. Again, if you're listening with
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: kiddo's or maybe the Sex Toys episode is not for
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: everyone in your family, but we do urge you to
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: check out this episode and part one of the history
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: of Sex Toys. This is a ridiculous romance production. More importantly,
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: subscribe to their show because, uh, they've really got it together. Actually,
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: Nolan Nolan, I talked about that off air. They are
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: legit and we cannot wait for you to hear them,
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: not to mention the whole ridiculous universe that's coming together.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: We've now got ridiculous crime which is now out there
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: on the scene, and I believe by the time this
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: episode comes out, we will have heard the announcement of
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: Ridiculous News with our buddies Bill and Mark at the
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: Helm of Ridiculous News, which will be a UM weekly
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: or twice a week UM topical and Evergreen simultaneously somehow,
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: because these guys are weird wizards show that tackles everything
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: ridiculous in the news, which we know there's plenty of yes, yeah,
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: and we are going to have them on an episode
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: very very soon. So in the meantime, if you've ever
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: asked yourself, let's see where chastity belts come from? This
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: this part two is especially for you, hey, accidental rhyme
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: or on purpose who knows here we go. Hey the French,
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: come listen. Well, Elia and Diana got some stories to tell.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: There's no match making, all romantic tips. It's just about
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: pridiculous relationships. A love it might be any type of
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: person at all, and abstract cons that are a concrete wall.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: But if there's a story where the second glance ridiculous
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: role that a production of I Heart Radio. Hey, everybody,
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: welcome back to the show. IM so glad to have
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: you as always. Yes, very exciting for part two today
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: of our crossover with Ridiculous History hosts Ben Bowling and
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: Noel Brown. Guys, welcome back, Thank you for being here.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: It is we remain. We went through a lot. In
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: that lot, we learned a lot. I think. No, oh yeah,
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: there was a lot of school girlish tittering going on.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: I was stimulated in both body and mind, and I
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: was horrified. So all the ridiculous romance boxes are checked.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: Three tiers of any successful relationship, right, stimulating mind and uh,
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: you knows horrified, Yes, so we Um, thank you guys
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: so much for having us back on for our second date. Um,
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: this was a wild ride. I'm not going to look
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: at goats the same way for a while. Never Never,
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: you really hung up on that goat island with the
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: organic French tickler. Huh yeah, God yeah, it's painful. Um,
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: but we're going to move past all that today. Uh,
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: We're gonna leave the goats behind. We're talking about sex dolls.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: We're talking about chastity belts and all the mysteries surrounding
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: them and beneath them. So to start us off, let's
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: let's talk about sex dolls. Where where do they come from?
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: What's it all about? I guess making a little avatar
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: of your desires is probably pretty old school as long
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  Speaker 1: as we've had imaginations, right, people are like, I'll just
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: pile some clothes together and see if I can making it.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: But according to black Book mag dot com, they have
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: an article called sex Dolls a timeline which is very useful. Um,
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  Speaker 1: there were sailors in the fifteenth century who would take
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: dolls that were, um, they were clothes stuffed with straw
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  Speaker 1: or with rags basically, and they were very not that
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: humanoid looking. They're just kind of a vaguely human shape.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: It's hard to stuff clothes into a realistic dummy. Asked
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: me how I know. Oh, I don't think we're going
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: to but this, well, so is it like those creepy
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: body pillows especially? Yeah? Sure, well, and then imagine some
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: of them are straw, which is like so itchy, and
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: I don't know, it doesn't seems as comfortable as rags.
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  Speaker 1: But they called them dom de voyage of the voyage, Yes,
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  Speaker 1: and they were just to occupy them while they were,
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: you know, in their long journeys at sea. They would
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  Speaker 1: have and we did actually a whole episode about gay
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: pirates um and they often would would would sometimes use
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: each other, but I guess they would also sometimes take
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: on these these stuffed rag dolls. Do you think kind
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: of prison rules apply it? See, like what happens at
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: It's like, I'm not actually gay, I'm just marooned. So
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: what I think is interesting isn't. In the last episode,
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: we talked about how people said women couldn't survive without
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: an injection of seamen at some point or they would
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  Speaker 1: go insane. And yet here are these men going on
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  Speaker 1: a voyage who can't be gone for three months without
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: putting their dick in something. S Yeah exactly. Are you
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: guys familiar with the concept of a FIEFI I don't
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  Speaker 1: know if this is just something that like my friend
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: made up or if this is like it definitely represents
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: an actual thing that you guys will be familiar with.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: But this is a term that my friend Frank, friend
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: of the show, friend of the universe uses for an
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: improvised sexual device us Like, let's say a toilet paper
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: roll stuffed with tissue filled with petroleum jelly. You know,
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: it could be uh wintermel specific. I'm just just as
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: as an example as another another confirmed or deny this.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: They could just be you know, two couch cushions. Um
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: there you know, there any anything that you can use
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  Speaker 1: as a stand in for um, you know, the genuine article.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I don't know. I didn't know if anyone
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: else has heard that term before. Yeah, if you go
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: to uh, I guess we have. This is the website.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: If you go to all one word make pockets pussy
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  Speaker 1: dot com, you'll see how to make a FIEFI f
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: I f I for everybody who also wants to ruin
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: their search history. UNA make a FEEFI that's sailed for us,
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: that sailed that is, it's probably got its own dom
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  Speaker 1: the voyage now. But but so like this has to
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: have come a long way right at this point, I
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: know that now is surely now. It's like if somebody
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: is making a a scarecrow uh thing to have sex with,
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: it's because that's what they want, right, aren't there better
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: to be? There's so many options now, like all those
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: real dolls and stuff that people. Oh, you can't tell
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  Speaker 1: the difference between these and real humans anymore. It's straight
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: up Jude Law Ai. It's I can get a Jude
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: law real doll. Let me look at you. Yourself might
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  Speaker 1: be a sex dollar not know it. This is the
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: future we're moving towards. How have we not seen a
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: movie about a sentient sex doll? They gets broad, they
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  Speaker 1: gets turned into because it comes from being a real
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  Speaker 1: doll to being a real woman, like in Pinocchio situation.
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  Speaker 1: You know, questions see that sort of like there's that
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  Speaker 1: movie Mannequin from the eighties, sort of that thing a
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: little bit, But I don't know. I want to see
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: that story updated. Yeah, A two four will probably get
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: on it at some point. They make all those ai
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: true true. I love that stuff and all the modern
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: horror the right exactly. Um, but if you loved the
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: modern sex doll, like real dolls and other versions of that.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: Unfortunately you have the Nazis to think for those man
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: um But in one the s S leader Heinrich Himler,
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: actually was very of the show. Enemy of the show. Apparently,
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: was very concerned with the Nazi soldiers in like the
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: front lines in Paris and stuff, going to visit too
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  Speaker 1: many prostitutes and getting STDs. And he was basically like,
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  Speaker 1: STDs are killing more of our soldiers than bullets are.
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  Speaker 1: So he's like, we need to give them something instead
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  Speaker 1: of going to visit these real women. We need to
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: give him something else. So he got a sculptor named
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: Arthur Rink involved in a project called the borg Killed
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: Field Hygiene Project, and it was considered more secret than
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: top secret, which considering their top secret things, pretty is
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: funny to me. There's the Holy Grail and then a
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: few not just below that, sex dolls. Sex. But that's
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: his contribution to history. Like Arthur Rink made the sex
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: doll his death bed. He's like, let my legacy live on,
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: stab my name on the foot of every sex doll.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: So Black Book mag writes that quote. The sculptor on
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: the project, Arthur Rink created three types of dolls. He
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: had three different types. According to Rink, the s s
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: wanted the breasts round and full, of course, and ss
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: dr Olan Hennison insisted on a rose hip form that
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: would grip well. Okay, so he's like a consultant on this.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: He like walked in, so he was like, listen, here's
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: all my wish list. You know, do what you do best, Arthur,
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: You're the sculptor, but I have some notes. Let's talk ergonomics.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: I want a good gripping surface. Nothing's worse than losing
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: your grip. Right, these guys are already a war. Let's
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: make it simple. Um. And then for the face, they
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: were going back and forth on a face for this doll,
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: and they agreed that, you know, this is a sex doll,
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: so she needs to look a little naughty and like
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: sort of slutty. They wanted a slutty face whatever that means,
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: and the more of a come hither look let's call it. Yeah,
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: it was like a you know, not a not a
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: not ah an innocent looking gal. I guess. But they
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: actually asked an actress at the time, whose name was
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: kath von Nag to be the face of this doll,
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: and obviously she said no, thank too. I was like,
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: I would hate to be like, yes, put my face
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: on all these sex dolls to be unbelievable. So they said, okay, well,
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: we need to create an artificial face of lust that
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: would be more appealing. Technician Franz Schockert a greed, saying, quote,
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: the doll has only one purpose, and she should never
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: become a substitute for the honorable mother at home. When
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: the soldier makes love to board kills, she has anything
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: to do with love. Yeah, board killed, I'm sorry, makes
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: love makes love, sir, Look board kill deserves some respect.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: He says, this has nothing to do with love. Therefore,
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: the face of our anthropomorphic sex machine should be exactly
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: how Wigner described the common wanton's face. Also starting an
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: industrial band called Anthropomorphic sex Machine, and you would do well,
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: I think, and I would like to see the cover
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: art most as possible, be one of those steam powered dildos.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: I think they open right, you can do like a
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: variety pack of you. It was steam Powered Dildo is one,
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: and then the shi sex Machine. Maybe that's the name
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: of the album. The band is steam Power Dildo, the
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: album sex Machine. I think we can discover some stuff here, right,
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: I think I'm, you know, obviously astounded by episode one,
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: and now we're diving right into Nazi real dolls, which
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: is then they have names. Bordld that's a very sexy
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: name I might have, but I mean, you know, maybe
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: he's let me lost. So you don't like Frauleine BORKI
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: make you think of the borg. I don't know, you know,
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: like I want to be. I want to be assimilated
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: when I lay with this, when you make love now
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: you're speaking my language, assimilate me. One does not make
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: love to a sex machine. So there, it's weird because
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: I would imagine that the face, whatever the face ends
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: up being, it's going to be frozen and whatever static
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: expression they give it right, so it's like surprised or
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: it's like whole saucy I'm into this, I guess, abject horror. Yeah,
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: maybe that's the problem is that some people that's what
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: the face they would like to see the most, I suppose,
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: But yeah, they actually Time Magazine said that because they
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: couldn't decide, you know, they didn't want it to look
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: like someone's wife or mother. I guess they couldn't really
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: nail down a slutty face for this doll. So and
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: they tried, Okay, they took surveys, um so they kind
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: of left the dolls face pretty blank, and they thought
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: that the soldiers would more were more likely to use
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: them if they could sort of impart their own fantasy
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: onto the doll. And it didn't look like anything too specific.
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: But of course they're Aryan. They're very much about Aaryan value,
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: you know, uh, aesthetics or whatever. So of course they
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: gave the creation still had blue eyes and blonde hair.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: So other than that, I guess you could give her
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: full lips or thin lips, or a big nose or
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: a small nose. However your imagination runs wild. You can
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: customize these um just in your head, testing you in
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: your mind. And so it says after extensive testing, which
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: I have to ask, I would love to pull into
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: speculation station and find out what the testing entailed. Sensual
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: works both in the dark and in the light. Well,
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: let's let's let's double check that that's science. I mean, like,
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: you know, there's well, there's obviously to be the boring answers.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: They probably have to look at material science and stress
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: on these so called comfort that checks out his science,
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: but also also the thing that gets me, and this
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: is just a hygiene thing. Um, are they one per soldiers?
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: The distribution a single use thing or is it washable?
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: If I was, if I was designing it, I would
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: make an ejectable cartridge. You could take it out and
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: put a new one in dishwasher safe. Where were you
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: when the Nazis were trying to put together these threal dolls.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: I've been asked that question many times. Yah, think Nolan
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: and I we're gonna ask that earlier. But yeah, so, yeah,
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: So they did a bunch of testing on I'm surely
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: material stresses. And also I guess how effective they were
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: arousing you maybe that's my guess, my gross guests. And
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: so they are like, these are ready to go, And
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: Himmler ordered fifty dolls for his own troops, but by
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: two they pulled the plug on this project because the
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: soldiers were way too embarrassed to carry these dolls around
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: and they were really worried that if they got captured
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: by the enemy that like American in British and French
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: soldiers will make fun of them, which is so funny
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: that you're like, I'm a pow and my number one
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: concern is they're going to make fun of me. I'm
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: a proud Nazi soldier. I don't want to be teased. Wow,
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: I mean I get it though, right, Like also especially
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: get that given the propaganda war going on at that time,
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: it would be a real gift to the Allies to
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: be able to say, these guys are running into battle
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: on the fighting for the forces of evil with Also,
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: by the way, they're sex dolls right right by the way,
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: these depraved tons are fucking these random sex dolls. Yeah,
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: that's probably true too. They were like, it'll make us
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: look really weird and weak and bad. Um, we don't
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: want we don't want to look bad. Letter by furiously,
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: we'll make it work, I promised soldiers. Way. Yeah, I've
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: always kind of been a little perplexed that like the
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: need for us sex doll like kind of to teach
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: their own But it's just so specific. It's like we've
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: figured out, you know, analogs without having to you know,
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: go all out and get this weird, uncanny valley. I
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: just don't quite understand the appeal, especially nowadays, when they're like,
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: you know, thousands and thousands of dollars. There's that movie
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: large in the real Girl. Have you guys seen that with?
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: But yeah, sex sexy, mean boy. What's his name, Ryan Goslip? Yea, yeah,
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: he genuinely, you know, forms an attachment like an effect
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: to this, uh, this thing and that because it's it's
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: it's a very sweet film actually, but I think it
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: probably for some people there is a lack of touch,
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: lack of one on one, you know, skin on skin contact,
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: and maybe these things fill a role for which I
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: can totally understand. But in general, you know, for like
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: the Army, it seems like they're easier, you know, ways
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: to get this done and having to puzzle over what
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: the face is going to look like and all that stuff.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: For the record, it's all about it if it's preventing
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: sexual violence. But do you guys, do you guys remember
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: the awesome show thirty Rock where James Crago appears as
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: spoiler alert, a guy who is pretending to have as
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: celebrity relationship because he's secretly in love with a body pillow.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: It's like some of the best dialogue they have. But
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: while it seems like on balance it could be a
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: it's it's not for me idea, but it could be
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: a good idea. Um, if it's preventing violence, the thing
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: that gets me is just a really cheap point. Like
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: I live in a in a smaller, smaller abode. I
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: like multifunctional appliances, you know what I mean. I don't
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: like to get one thing that does one thing. So like, yeah,
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: sure you could do stuff that do brush not sex it. Yeah,
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: but I'm thinking like if it made coffee, or if
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: it had like storage or something, that would be a
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: different conversation. But I guess they didn't get to that
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: point in testing, did they. I guess not. I would
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: like mine to not. You know, I don't want to
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: sex doll that's also like makes dinner and think you
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: know all these traditional things. I want a sex doll
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: that has a six figure income. Um, you know, it
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: goes off to work every day. I clean up around
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: the house, good credit, a nice car, a few credit cards.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: I'll stay home, I'll clean, I'll cook time stories like
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: or something randomly. You know, now we're talking NOL. What
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: did you do with your Teddy ruxpan doll? That's my question. Leave,
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: that's the imagination listening public. No, I never actually had
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: a Teddy expenda. It's probably why I am the way
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: I am. Um, I was deprived. I was I believe
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: we had a thrift store one that didn't the cassette
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: didn't work. Oh yeah, I was all imagination. I believe
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: it was my dad years back, uh, under cover of night,
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: stuck in like a very very funked up cassette tape
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: that was like some sort of heavy metal and didn't
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: tell or my mom until she like set it up
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, you know, it wasn't this song,
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: but it was like tosome home like it with those
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: empty eyes and just sort of man, no, I think
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: it is what I'm saying. Yeah, well, we're in confession corner?
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: Is that a? Is that a corner you guys have?
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: Is there? We don't have confession corn yet, but maybe
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: we should. I didn't lose my virginity for intensive purposes
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: to one of those plush i Kea snakes, you know,
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: um back in the in the in the these they
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: were a lot more rudimentary and they were a little
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: more like they weren't as quite as fluffy as they
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: are now. But I had one on my Ikea bunk
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: bed um and I just sort it was just there's something,
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: you know, and there's all this what's happened? I'm so
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: much about my body? Oh wow, I do not remember mine.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: M hmm, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, snake. It haunts
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: my dreams, you know, I do remember those little um,
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: those creepy little water snakes. You know, they were just
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: like a rubbery sleeve with inside outside themselves. That would
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: be a perfect fife. Yes, yeah, that may have been
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: the original design. And they just thought, we have to
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: we have to spin our marketing because we're creeping people out,
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: you know, like the way that people sell massage tools. Uh. Yeah,
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: they made little water snakes and said, you know what,
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: sell this to kids. Put in the Discovery Channel store. Yeah,
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: we need the children, so uh se dolls. Yeah, so
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: we can thank the Nazis, and I guess you can
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: also thank you know, let's not thank them, we can
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: also thank I guess the American and British forces who
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: destroyed the factories where they made these dolls during their
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: bomb raids of Dresden. So we don't have any I
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: guess we don't have an existing like legitt to the
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: front Line doll, but there was a similar I don't
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: think it was an actual sex doll, but it was
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: based on the design uh doll that was sold in
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: toy stores, and this woman, Ruth Handler, saw one and
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: thought it was a beautiful, like blonde, lovely woman and
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: decided to make a doll out of it in America.
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: And so that is the inspiration for the very first
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: Barbie doll. So actually Barbie doll. Barbie dolls were inspired
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: by Nazi sex dolls. Wow at all speaking of things
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: that were for adults, but then we're then marketed to
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: oh my gosh, okay, so yeah, that's why Barbie is
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: blonde with big boobs. She was originally meant to comfort
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: comfort soldiers fighting for Aryan values. God's sort of a
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: euphemism or like a kind of polite euphemism for a
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: a sex worker was a comfort woman? Yeah yeah in
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: the Pacific theater, Yeah, I guess they were comforted. I
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: don't know if the women were very kind would think
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: were comforted by it, But I guess they provided. So
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: I'm comfort Wow, I can. I'm hung up on Fifi
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: only because to me, Fifi a just from a childhood
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: of cartoons. Fifi is like a blue pool poodle. Yeah right, Well,
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: now you know guys, not anymore. Never got poodles the
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: same way again, you're in that and that fifi would
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: be kind of that French spelling the f I f
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: I would be right, do you know it just spefi
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: stand like, is it the first part of something that
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: it is fully immersive flagrant? Fully immersive flagrant? No way,
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: it's fully improvised. Yeah, somebody helped me out with an eye.
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: Would I would make that second half a different f
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: word improvised? You got to text their friend Frank after this. Yes,
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: I'm so glad we clear that up. Thank you so much. Well,
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: I'm just glad to know that it's not just a
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: made up thing. I mean, it is all over the internet.
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: It clearly as kind of a term. It would be
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: weird if it would be weird if it was something
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: or pal frank just made up and tried to like
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: normalize us and slipped in the conversation. You know that
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: sometimes he does it with such authority that I believe
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: I believe Frankie's like this is like a big word
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: that people say. I'd be like, oh, okay, I guess
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: I better learn it real quickly to that shock. This
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: is a great spot for a break, we will be
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: right back, and we're back. But so, okay, I I
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: didn't know that, But I also didn't know a really
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: weird thing that you guys found about ancient Rome, like
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: the story of love never did run easy or true
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: for a lot of people. And you know, this is
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: a situation that happens in ancient relationships as well as
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: current ones. Sometimes people straight, sometimes they go go off
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: the rails, and for one, you're another find a different
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: lover outside of a committed relationship. Tail as old as time,
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: as old as time, and yeah, apparently in ancient Athens
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: and ancient Rome, both men and women who cheated on
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: their spouses could legally be killed if they were caught
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: like doing it, caught red handed or whatever hand, wherever
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: your hand is. But there was also another quote non
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: lethal humiliating punishment reserved for male cheaters, where the husband
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: who had been cuckolded could legally sodomize the adulterer with
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: an audience if they want so. Sometimes that meant that
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: they would be he would himself penetrate the other gentleman um.
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: But this ancient Rome and ancient Greece, I think that's
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: what happened. Remember in the last episode, I talked about
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: the scene in Caligula where he does that to another man.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: I believe it's that out of punishment for him having
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: done something along these lines, because it's very public and
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: like shaming. Kind of an eye for an eye, blink
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: for a blink, right. Well, And we did talk a
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: little bit point for a point. We did talk a
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: little bit in the first one about how it was
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: okay to have sex with men in ancient room, but
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: only if you're the top. So it was very humiliated
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: have anything put into your butt I guess, although you
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: could put whatever you wanted into a but no problem um.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: And apparently, yeah, sometimes they would do it themselves, I guess,
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: but more often than not, the punishment took a symbolic
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: form where they would insert a radish into your butt hole.
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: Spy and the historian Vicky Leon says, quote, I call
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: it an ancient sting operation, since Greek radishes grew to
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: a healthy size and had a good bite to them,
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: So I guess it really stung in more ways than one. Yeah,
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: I gotta wonder if someone ever ever knew the risk
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: and said, like, I'll take the radish for it, you
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: know what. I mean like, yeah, this is worth it,
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: quick question. So if it was so, um, I guess
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: shaming or just like taboo to be on the receiving
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: end of this thing, does that mean that there were
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: like special boys that were designed for this purpose or
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: bread for this purpose. Essentially, you're gonna be my new
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: Radish boy. Get over here. Um. But Vicky Leon also
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: said that they, I guess probably to avoid this punishment.
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: There were some men who, you know, they were like,
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: I'm so randy, I just always ready to go. I
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: need some anti afro das acts to sort of help me.
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: I don't know herb my appetite, yeah, my enthusiasm. And
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: so men would eat lettuce, which was a salad leaf
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: thought to be a powerful antipotency drug at the time.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, let us always turns me off. Do you
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: eat it and you're just like well, like in our
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: our very first episode of this show, we talked about
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: Celery and how sexy Celery was supposed to be as
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: an aphrodisiac. Yeah. Back with them in France, Um, what's
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: her name, Madame de pompadour, uh, and all them they
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: thought Celary was was quite the aphrodisiac. Again, I don't
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: know why, but whatever works for you. Let us as
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: the inverse. I guess, yeah, when leafy one watery leafy
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: green to another, I guess, doesn't celery Like doesn't it
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: calorically expand more energety to eat than it provides? Anyway?
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: You know, I have a theory about aphrodisiacs based on
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: a asked conversation. I think it's all like independent marketing
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: from people who are dealing with their own situations, you know,
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: like it was was me, baby, it was the oysters,
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: you know how I get, or or maybe someone's like,
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: you know, I do think you're very attractive, very much
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: in love with you, but I just had a salad.
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: Maybe maybe it's not you, it's not you. Is this
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: where tossing the salad comes from? Do you think I
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: always wondered about that? Yeah? I don't know what another day.
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: Perhaps me and my silly etymology questions always thet They're
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: always filthy, They're always filthy. Those are the fun etymologies
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: to track down. To be fair, Speaking of filthy, another
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: anti potency drug was cream made of mouse droppings. They
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: would spread I guess onto their anatoles, which I'm like,
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: just that never put ship on your dick. No, I
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: just feel like that's always a bad idea. And also, honestly,
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: all you have to say is cream made from mouse droppings,
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: and I'm good. You don't need to rub it anywhere.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: You've said it. The images in my head, I'm not
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: gonna have sex for a month, Well that's that's also
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: like I think that's a hard anti aphrodisiac or that's
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: a very um that's like a self fulfilling prophecy, right,
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: because then it doesn't matter what kind of activity you
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: want to get up to. Anybody who is like, what's
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: a little mouse mouse poop between you know, between friends, Uh,
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: they're not going to be the kind of person you
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: want to sleep with. I'm just I hope that's not
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: a blanket statement. I hope nobody feels judged. But if
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: you're trying, if you're trying to like have a romantic
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: partner and you keep striking out, it might be the
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: mouse droppings. I'm just saying. Just yeah, Ben is trying
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: to say, try something new and just it's the scientific method.
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: See if you get the same results. Okay, so much
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: like the bread sticks in the episode one, I'm wondering
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: about the radishes. Speaking of salads, is you know, oh
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: this salad is delicious. It's really turning me off. What's
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: in there? Well, fresh radishes right from the garden, rushed
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: out of some gardens, straight from the so not toss
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: the salad radishes as a form of punishment, slash abuse
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: anti afro das acts. I think that brings brings us
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: to one of the one of the things that I
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: was wondering about as well, which is chastity belts. Right.
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: That's that's an anti afrods act for sure. Right, even
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: if you want to, you can't do. Everybody loves chastity belts, right,
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: I mean I always think of Robin hood men in
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: tights of course any aspect and the ever last is hilarious. Um,
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: big iron underwear with a padlock on it. Right, we
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: all remember these, this impenetrable guard against scoundrels and ne'er
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: do wells, uh, stopping sex in its tracks. The first
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: evidence of chastity belts goes all the way back to
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: the eleven hundreds. Um, now, Ben and all, we we
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: do a segment on this show sometimes when we we
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: have our main subject that we're talking about, but maybe
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: we're gonna sneak off with something else for just a
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: quick second. Uh, we're gonna take a little quick fling
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: with history. Lock him up and throw away the key.
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: So the Crusades, Uh, we've all heard of the Crusades, right,
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: That's where we're going to with this one, about a
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: three century period in Europe where Christians went out marching
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: across the lands to bring the good word of peace
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: and love about Christ. By um checking my notes here, Uh,
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: lots of stabbing. Basically stars and spears. Crusades, very Jesus like, Yeah,
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: obviously more complicated than that. We're not going to get
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: the whole history the Crusades here. But the thing that
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: step rid of the Crusades from other Christian religious wars
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: was that the prize for participating in one was free absolution.
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: Like you were absolved of your sins if you went
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: and fought in the Crusades. So there's all these dudes like,
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: what this is my chance I've been waiting around for
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: to someone absolve me of all my sins. Some some guy,
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: probably like Gregor the Smith, is like, I've got believe
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: I have sinned these rules for getting into heaven, But
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: dema broke every single one of them. And uh so
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: somebody says to him, Hey, you know what, come on down, Gregor,
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: sign up for the Crusades. You'll be free to go
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: get into heaven. All you gotta do is kill a
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: bunch of people for us. And everything's all set. But
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: but this guy, Gregor the Smith, he's worried while my
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: wife is back home. And of course, as we've all learned,
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: wandering uterus women can't go but a few months without sex.
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: So if he's off for years in the Crusades, how's
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: he going to stop this from happening. So he goes
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: off to the blacksmith and or maybe he's the blacksmith.
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: I think we called him Gregor the Smith, all right,
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: And he starts forging and he makes this metal underwear
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: and he puts a big old padlock on it, straps
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: it around his wife and says, good luck getting railed now.
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: And he made a bunch of them passed him out
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: to all the other villagers the key, and uh it
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: was like the hottest item of the day. Everyone had one, right, Wow,
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: So ladies walking around with iron underwear just all through
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: all the Crusades, so that they wouldn't be cheating on
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: their husbands. The thing is, none of that happened. This
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: was all a story that was made up in the Renaissance.
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: So there was a Rancor article by Genevieve Carlton where
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: I got some info on this. She said quote one
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: of the favorite pastimes of folks in the Renaissance was
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: laughing about the ignorance of the medieval period, right. They
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: wanted to feel superior. They're like, we're so educated, we
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: have a art, but our ancestors, well, they were so
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: dumb and mindless, and they came up with dumb stuff
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: like this chastity belt, and they invented these stories to
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: make their predecessors sound stupid basically, So it's just like
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: this dick ish, belittling move through time because they wanted
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: to say that these barbaric medieval people were, uh, you know,
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: just insecure and incapable of pleasing their wives, and that
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: their wives just constantly cheat on them. So they came
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: up with this idea for the chastity belt. That's so funny.
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: You think they'd be like, let's dunk on him by
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: being like, hey, you killed a lot of people. I'll
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: say the idea goes back earlier than that because in
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: the Roman times, uh there's Roman women would wear a
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: knotted belt that they would wear right up into their
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: wedding day and then the husband would ceremoniously un not
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: the belt. And so later on that belt kind of
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: endured and they even started sort of gilding it in metal.
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: So they think maybe they found these metal knotted belts
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: that survived history and said that's sort of where they
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: developed the concept for the chat that he built and
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: the Renaissance. So that that checks out. That sounds like
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: the historic game of telephone, you know, cover right with
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: prejudice against the past and what have you. But also
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: didn't this ultimately, I don't know how far ahead this is,
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: but didn't this ultimately like become a thing that people
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: wanted to do or some version of it, Like it's
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: isn't it like a fetish? At some point? To some
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: degree in the modern era, we've gotten more into that
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: where this sort of like forced chastity, uh, you know,
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: keeping someone under lock and key. From from my research,
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: it's seemed that that's more skewed towards penis having individuals
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: that there's a cage lock and for your lock up
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: your dick. So I guess so that you can't get
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: an erection or be stimulated at all, and your partner
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: walks away with the key and says not until I
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: say so. Um, well, kind of a power dynamic. Yeah, absolutely,
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: when you like hurt yourself with natural uh cycles of
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: two messence, you can break a dick. Absolutely. It has
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: been one of my biggest questions about these, and I've
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: certainly never tried one. I don't know if anybody in
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: the list un of our listeners can right in and
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: let us know what that's like. If we get an
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: answering machine on that, I will be thrilled. Yes, what happens?
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: Can you bust out of these cages? Can you hulk out?
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: If they're not strong enough? It does look like they
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: have a hole to piece for for function, And I'll
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: say some of the old designs of chastis belts from
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: the Renaissance. There's this guy, Conrad Kaiser who wrote a
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: book in fourteen o five called The Bellafortis, which is
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: this military technology illustrated classic. He just drew all these
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: crazy industrial military machines and he said, any other country
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: that sees this book is going to get scared and
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: run away. But he also included the first known drawing
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: of a chastity belt, and it's got some gaps in
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: the front and back so that you know, I guess
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: you can do your business still, um, but not enough
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: to actually get penetrated. So the thing is his book
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: was also full of jokes. They're pretty sure that he
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: was making this as yet another joke in the Renaissance
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: about what medieval people were doing. He's got fart jokes
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: in there, like the Onion of its time. Yeah magazine
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: or something, okay, magazine, Yeah, that's funny, Okay. And there's
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: there's Renaissance artwork again, all featuring chastity belts. It's always
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: the same thing. It's some man locking up his wife.
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: She's always topless, she's always tits out, you know, because
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: she's insatiable, Like, yeah, we lock up your vagina, but
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: your tits are free to row. These paintings always have
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: like a guy sneaking around in the background, because they're
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: trying to show the futility of them. Usually the guy
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: in the background has is sneakily holding a key up
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: in the shadows like I've already get made a copy
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: foolish husband he never knew and made just the key
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: of So it's just, you know, just again, this is
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: perpetual joke out of the Renaissance, and it it just
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: endured through the years to the point where we believed
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: it to be history for a long time. In fact,
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: the British Museum in the in the nineteen nineties was
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: taking down exhibits of chastity belt that they had just
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: assumed to be historically accurate, and when they dated the metal,
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: they discovered that these things were from like the late
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: eighteen hundreds, but then they said had belonged to Catherine
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: de Medici, the Queen of France of you know, back
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: in the sixteenth century. They thought this was her chastity belt,
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: and then they dated it. Oh, never mind, this is
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: from the nineteenth century. It was probably just a joke.
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: So it's like it's like the Iron Maiden, which the
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: torture device that turns out to have been mostly fictitious
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: or doesn't make exactly. There was tons of like uh,
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: torture museums and exotic you know, uh oddities being sold
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: back then, and people literally just bought up some metal
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: built chastity belts and said come see this barbaric invention
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: that our medieval people came up with, ye totally false.
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: In fact, I will say that in the eighteenth century Mr.
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: Voltaire wrote a poem kind of mocking the whole idea
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: of chastity belts. We got another poem very excited. His
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: whole point in this poem was that it was foolish
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: to force fidelity by locking a woman up, and that
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: the whole poem is pretty long. But what pulled out
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: a couple of selections here and I say we go
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: on down the poetry corner, and here a selection from
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: Voltaire's poem The Padlock. Each cuckled soul who during life
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: did all he could to plague his wife. Then thus
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: declared a Florentine, most mighty monarch idopine for death. For
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: once a wife is dead, she can't defile the marriage bed.
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: But ast an immortal wife can never be deprived of
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: life a padlock. Therefore, I'd invent which should such accidents prevent?
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: She must be virtuous, of course, when under the restraint
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: of force, not to be come at by her elf.
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: You're sure to have her to yourself, which I had
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: thought before I died. Such a convenience to provide this
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: sage advice allowed applause from all the damned assembly draws
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna do in my bain voice, and even Pluto's
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: self some pity felt when spouses for you, he made
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: fast and said you will now perforce to chaste this lock,
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: which hell caught frame alone soon to The human race
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: was known in Venice, Rome and all about it. No
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: gentleman or sits without it. Tis always though a method.
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: Sure all female honor too secure their husbands. Though some
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: sneerers mack keep virtue safe and underlock, but all his
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: jealous care is in vain. Love always knows his ends
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: to gain that God will share a spouse or cause
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: he still protects who keeps his laws. For you have
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: given me your hearts and can't refuse me any parts.
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: Soccer vibes, get out, get creepy inside the house bad
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: times that He's like, it's clearly an accident. We want
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: to prevent these accidents where you trip and your dick
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: falls into my wife who left, who's cleaning around? But
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: against satire, Yes, exactly, yes, Voltaire totally mocking the whole
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: notion um has seemed to be all anyone was ever
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: really doing was kind of teasing about it. I'm imagining
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: like a thousand years from now, someone unearthing something from
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: Spencer's gifts. I guess they really used this. So like,
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: do you guys remember the pin thing? There was a
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: big on your face, in your hands and a shape.
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: Someone's going to find that and be like, you know
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: what I think people were doing. I think they were
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: banging this thing, just like, let's write a poem about it.
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: I need to sell some books. Let's write a poem
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: about it. Man in the first century loved to take
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: a box of three thousand nails. Let his dick in.
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: Just go to Jim Rose circus side show kind of ship.
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: This is a great spot for a break. We'll be
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: right back, all right, welcome back to the show. But okay,
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: but Eli, we know that there are physical like artifacts
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: like somewhere along the line. Despite the story being untrue,
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: several people thought satire. No, they were like, I'm going
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: to make one though, right yeah, And typically again these
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: were made mostly four show um, whether it being sold
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: off in a museum or send out one of these
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: oddity tours. The idea was that they were always made
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: as fakes from history. In fact, historian curator Leslie Smith
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: said quote, I have traveled abroad and looked at art
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: collect and as yet haven't seen a chastity belt that
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: can be proved to be in medieval origin. So, as
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: far as anyone can tell, all these manufactured chastity belts
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: were made as basically a historical prank. Don't buy those
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: vintage chastis belts on Amazon. They're not worth it. Uh Yeah.
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: British Museum the Cleaning Museum in France both have had
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: to take down exhibits of chastity belts that they had
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: previously said were historical objects and then found out Nope,
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: these were totally bogus. That's embarrassing and I love that that,
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: Like you mentioned Ben that that that today we've turned
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: it all around and we've made them for for pleasure devices,
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: almost the opposite of their original supposed intention. That's true.
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: That is funny. It was originally meant to keep you
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: from having sex, and now it's like this is part
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: of the sex and it's super hot, Tan trick. Now
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: your sex is ten hours long. So I do wanna,
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: I do want to give some shout outs to our
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: our off fair friends who reacted a bit strangely when
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: they heard and no, I don't know if you had
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: this conversation too, but fact a bit strangely when uh,
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: we were going to hang out and I said, oh, yeah, no,
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: I gotta we're doing a two part thing on sex toys,
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: and and they this is multiple people. They were like,
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: you mean like you and ol or getting together to
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: talk about sex toys or it was like no, we're
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: we're we're hanging out with some other people too. I
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: just made it worse. But are married friends, are married
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: friends were all going to do sex toys together us
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: into their relationships. Very progressive. I love it. I did
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: see someone on Twitter be like, I we said it
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: some about a two parter, and they were like, isn't
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: that called a double? A double? Fister? Shout out to fister.
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: That's the thing. Um unrelated, totally related. I went in
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: researching some of the stuff. I found a place that
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: I think we should all figure out a way to
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: take a field trip to. In San Francisco there is
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: a museum, uh for sex toys, and it's called Good
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: Vibrations Antique Vibrator Museum specifically. And then of course in
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: in New York. The Museum of Sex is really cool.
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: I've actually been there. Uh. And they have like all
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: kinds of vintage porn and and sex toys and all
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: these guys. I mean, it's really just fascinating and it's
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: a very very naughty and body Uh. And they have
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: a gift shop at the end where you know, if
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: you can imagine what they say there. But yeah, I
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: don't know if it was a permanent name, but it was.
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: It was there when I was there. It was a
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: bouncy house made of everybody said. There's also I think
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: there's the Vagina Museum I believe is in England, probably
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: in London, but I follow their Twitter account and it's
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: really awesome, isn't it the Fannie Museum in London? There
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: it is Fanny I thought was a but no, no,
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: I didn't know that. That's why Fannie Pack is hilarious
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: to all our British friends. Okay, that would be that
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: the vagina is already its own fanny pack. Another like
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: kind of naughty er. I think that fantasy This is
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: this sort of slangy but the word minge oh yeah, yeah,
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: it's just so visceral sounding. Yeah. While we're on tour.
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: While you take the Ridiculous Universe on a museum tour,
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: we should also stop by Iceland. Do you see the
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: Penis Museum. Oh sure, yeah. I love how open we
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: all are. Everybody's like, oh yeah, yeah, I don't listen down.
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: I'm down for that. Hey, I'll see a museum of anything. Yea. Honestly,
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: the weirder museums are really more fun. The more niche
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: the better because it's took some real weirdos to curate
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: that stuff. You know, like the Museum of Death. I
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: think it's one of my favorites of all. There's one
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: in Hollywood, and there's one in New Orleans, and there's
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: the Museum. There's like the Museum of Murder. There's the
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: Museum of Jurassic Technology, which is uh super cool. I
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: think we can. I'll check out one in the world.
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: We're on the West coast, but I feel you guys.
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: I love like you were saying incredibly specific museums. It's
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: why I'm slow on road trips because if I if
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: I'm like passing, we did a show on this for
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: stuff they want you to know. But if I'm like passing,
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: just some beat up sign that is like the official
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: uh the I'm thinking the most ridiculous thing, like the
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: official Museum of left Shoes throughout history, guaranteed no writings.
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: Then I'm like, there goes the afternoon. You know, I
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: gotta go see. I love it. Have you seen the
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: Bigfoot Museum in the Curious It's real cool. Niche The
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: guy that runs it, David. What's the guy's name that
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: runs up him? David? He is the quintessential niche interest focused,
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: you know, museum curator. He does such a good job.
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: Like the exhibits there are very much just inspired by
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: I think, like you know, vintage Disney kind of Epcot
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: type vibes, you know, like Hall of President type. I
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: mean it's really really well done and uh, I highly
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: recommend anybody passing through check out. I guess the museum.
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: I guess. My question is where's the Bigfoot sex toy museum?
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: That's that's the natural progression. This this could be our
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: contribution to museum sciences. We could make the Bigfoot. Is
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: there is there a Bigfoot chat that he built? We
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: can make one can apparently just make him up, So
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: just make one. Have anyone was gonna hulk their way
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: out of with chastity about though it's gonna be a
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: big foot, you can contain those fellas they are. It's
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: not just you know, big big shoes. This has definitely
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: altered I don't know about you know, but this is
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: altered a lot of the conversations that I'm having in
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: the future. I am. I've learned a lot. I don't
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: know if I wanted to learn all of it, uh,
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: but now I can't. It's our shows, sweet spots, stuff
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: you made thought of, you wanted to know about, you didn't. Really,
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: I'm starting a nonprofit for goats. This is not it's
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: really the things that the stuff we've learned about goats
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: on this show, it's unreasonable. Yeah, I think we did it.
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: We've talked about every sex toy in history. No, that's
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: not true. Now there's a whole other episode getting dedicated
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: to vibrators. Yes, in pornography. Also, I liked all the
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: porn and brothel stuff out. But it's also very fascinating.
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: H Well, what a ride. I learned a lot about
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: the mind, the body, society, and goats. Man. I'm still
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: I'm still hung up on it. I'm I'm worried about him. Yeah,
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: the goats definitely. You know, when elephants fight, the goats
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: are the ones who suffer. Isn't that how the expression goes?
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: You get there? Yeah? Plus yeah, yeah, it's weird like
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: for some reason, I just can't sit straight either. I
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: don't know what's going on. Oh buddy, oh man, I
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: might have taken let's let's move along. Seriously. He was
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: thanks to Diana and Eli for bringing us along on
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: that raunchy and educational ride. Rawn vacational. It was a
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: lot of fun. Yeah, Rawn vacational. But I mean that's
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: the thing though, you know, history is is is it
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: is just talk full of this stuff. I mean, ever
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: since people have, you know, figured out that they had parts,
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: they've been figuring out how to put stuff in them. Yes, yes,
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: well said. And also we wanna we wanted to say
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: that Eli and Diana were so kind to have us on.
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: We had such a fun time that we're gonna have
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: them on in the future. Love their energy, love their chemistry,
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: and actually also I gotta say I love the research
• 58:24
  Speaker 1: they conduct. These are smart, witty people, and I feel
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: like they would want they I feel like they want
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: both of us to note that it's it's not always sex.
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: There's more to romance than sex, so you are gonna
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: find it's just a fascinating way to explore history. I
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: think ridiculous Romance. So thanks to them. Do check it out.
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: When do us a favorite, go subscribe to their show.
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: Let us know what your favorite episodes of Ridiculous Romance are.
• 58:54
  Speaker 1: You can let us know on our Facebook page Ridiculous Historians.
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: One of the best places is on the internet. Uh,
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: that's official as of two. We got the award in January.
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: We also made the award uh and gave it to ourselves.
• 59:10
  Speaker 1: Just to be clear, but we're also all over the
• 59:13
  Speaker 1: internet if you want to find us, not just as
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: a show, but as individuals. The rumors are true, Mr
• 59:20
  Speaker 1: Noel Brown, I hear you're on Instagram. Who's spread and rumors?
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: Who's saying all this stuff? It was track them down.
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: It was a grackle in Austin. Oh my god, have
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: you guys heard of? The grackle are everywhere. They're like,
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: you know how I feel about birds. I mean, we
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: were in tacos at torches tacos shout out really great tacos.
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: But um, these guys they're beautiful. They have these iridescent
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: feathers to the point where they like they turn a
• 59:44
  Speaker 1: certain direction in the light. They almost change colors entirely.
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: But they're really bold, much bolder than your average pigeon.
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: And Um, this guy was just I and me amazing,
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: literally like direct contact with UM for a taco at
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 1: the Grackle. You're not gonna find any bird content on
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 1: my page, but if you want to find some, you know, uh,
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: thirteen year old goth kid content. I say this because
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: I am the proud father of a thirteen year old.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: She said she would, she would, she would take issue
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: with that. I don't know what she is. She doesn't
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: listen to she doesn't actually to podcast. You can find
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: me on Instagram exclusively where I am at. How now,
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: Noel Brown, Ben Boland, Where can people find you? Well,
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: if you want, this will be funny. I don't know
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: if you guys saw this, but late last night I
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: happened to cross a seller with the padlock undone. I'm
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 1: not going to reveal the location in this place, but
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: I went down into the depths and the seller was
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: much larger than it appeared. I believe it actually goes
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: under the street. I got to the point where I
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: might actually need some rope to continue, like we might
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: be in a splunking situation. You can check that out
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: on just an HP Lovecraft story. You're describing that. No,
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: this is like if you go to my story right now,
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: you can see it. Uh, it's weird. You can see
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 1: this in my more of my behind the scenes adventures
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: and misadventures and occasionally brushes with authorities, as well as
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: research I'm doing for upcoming episodes and secret projects. APT
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: been bowling bow l I and on Instagram. You can
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: also talk with me directly there, or you can find
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: me on Twitter where I'm at ben Bowling h s W.
• 1:01:32
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