Latest / I Choose Me with Jennie Garth / Just Jennie: The Honest Truth, What I Wish I Knew Earlier

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Just Jennie: The Honest Truth, What I Wish I Knew Earlier · I Choose Me with Jennie Garth

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Hi everyone,
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: exciting news. Okay, My second annual I Choose Me Live
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Summit women's empowerment event is coming to Los Angeles on Saturday,
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  Speaker 1: April twenty fifth, and I want you to be there.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: The I Choose Me movement began as three little words
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  Speaker 1: on Beverly Hills nine O two one oh in nineteen
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  Speaker 1: ninety five, but it has evolved into something so much
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: more than that. A revolution, you guys. It's a message
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: I feel so passionate about. I wrote the book on it.
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  Speaker 1: So please join me for this one day party shining
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  Speaker 1: a light on self care and self love. Our panelists
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  Speaker 1: are incredible this year. We have Amanda Klut's, Bethany Joy Lenz,
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: Genie My, Gabby Reeese, Sarah Shaw, my dear friend, Gabrielle Carteris.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: We have Caramo and Cameron Matheson and more surprises. So
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  Speaker 1: please come for the powerful conversations, stay for lunch and cocktails.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: Make a commitment to choose yourself right here in sunny California.
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  Speaker 1: It's going to be amazing. Tickets are on sale now
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  Speaker 1: at veeps dot com. That's ve e e PS dot
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  Speaker 1: com and all of the info will be in our
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: show notes. Thank you so much, welcome back to I
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: Choose Me. This podcast is about making choices. Choosing yourself
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: has brought you here today, and for that, I want
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: to say congratulations and thank you. I'm excited to share
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: that my book I Choose Me, Chasing Joy, Finding Purpose,
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: and Embracing Reinvention is officially out in the world for
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: all of you to read, to listen to, and to enjoy.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: It has been such a labor of love, and while
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: I am thrilled to finally share it, I'll be honest,
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: I'm also pretty nervous to have this piece of my
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  Speaker 1: heart out there. I know some people may not agree
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  Speaker 1: or want to hear some of the things I share
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: in my book, but I also know people will see
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  Speaker 1: themselves in my journey and just maybe reading this might
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  Speaker 1: give them some new insights, some tools, some food for thought,
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  Speaker 1: and could possibly help them grow forward. I know it
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  Speaker 1: can be hard. I truly hope you'll read it, share
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: it and let me know what you think. And if
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  Speaker 1: you are one of the people who have things to
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: say about my story, I want to welcome any and
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: all conversations I have had the privilege of sitting across
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  Speaker 1: from some of the most truly incredible people artists, friends, survivors,
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  Speaker 1: truth tellers, people who have lived big lives, and people
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  Speaker 1: who are still figuring it out in real time like me.
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  Speaker 1: I've asked the questions about joy and grief, reinvention and rest,
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  Speaker 1: confidence and fear. I've asked them about the moments that
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  Speaker 1: cracked them open and the ones that stitched them back together.
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  Speaker 1: Whatever the questions have been, I have loved learning more
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  Speaker 1: about the people who inspire me. So in honor of
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  Speaker 1: my book publication day, I thought I would answer some
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  Speaker 1: of the questions I ask so many others, an opportunity
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  Speaker 1: for you to get to know me even a little better.
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  Speaker 1: So for this episode, no guest, heare no bio to read,
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  Speaker 1: just me choosing to sit in the same seat everyone
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: else sits in. And as a reminder, this podcast is
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  Speaker 1: never about having it all figured out. It is never
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  Speaker 1: about arriving anywhere. It's about choosing yourself again and again
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  Speaker 1: in small, imperfect and human ways. I don't always get
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  Speaker 1: it right, but I will keep trying, and I hope
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  Speaker 1: you will too. If you're new here, Hi, I'm Jenny
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: and if you've been here for a while, Yay, thank you,
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: I'm so glad. People ask me all the time, Jenny,
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: how are you? And my instinct, my trained, polite, professional instinct,
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: is to say I'm good. Yeah, I'm good. But if
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: I'm being honest, the real answer usually sounds more like,
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  Speaker 1: you know what I'm getting by today? Yeah, sometimes there
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  Speaker 1: are more fun than others, and I strive daily to
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: find peace and happiness. But yeah, sometimes my answer is
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: I'm getting by. Because life, it doesn't magically become perfect
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  Speaker 1: just because you've decided to choose yourself. It keeps moving.
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  Speaker 1: The kids grow up, your body changes, your priority shift,
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  Speaker 1: Your past somehow catches up with you in quiet ways
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  Speaker 1: that you did not expect. Midlife creeps up on you.
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  Speaker 1: It's subtle changes that show up when you look in
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  Speaker 1: the mirror and you feel unfamiliar to yourself. It's when
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  Speaker 1: the tools we've worked so hard to develop seem to
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  Speaker 1: sit in the very back of the tool chest and
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  Speaker 1: they're dusty and they feel almost out of date because
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: we simply haven't been using them. And when you realize
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  Speaker 1: you've been taking care of everyone else and you're not
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  Speaker 1: exactly sure when you stop taking care of yourself. So
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  Speaker 1: how am I really? I'm living day by day and
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  Speaker 1: moment by moment. Thank you for asking. One of the
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  Speaker 1: questions I ask guests all the time is when did
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  Speaker 1: you first realize that you needed to choose yourself? So
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  Speaker 1: I'm gonna ask myself that question now. The answer is yeah.
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  Speaker 1: It wasn't really one moment. It was more like a
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  Speaker 1: series of tiny wake up calls. You know. It was
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  Speaker 1: the day I felt exhausted, but I didn't know why.
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  Speaker 1: I couldn't explain why. It was the moment I realized
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  Speaker 1: I was saying yes out of habit, not out of desire,
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  Speaker 1: the rushing feelings of inadequacy based on nothing at all.
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  Speaker 1: It was the quiet thought that said, I can't keep
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  Speaker 1: doing this the same way. It was the day I
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  Speaker 1: looked into my daughter's eyes and I realized that now
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  Speaker 1: more than ever, they are watching me as young women
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  Speaker 1: trying to figure their lives out, and I better get
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  Speaker 1: my shit together because I want to be a good
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  Speaker 1: role model for them. And that was when the hard
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  Speaker 1: work began. Because you know what, choosing yourself is messy.
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  Speaker 1: It's uncomfortable. Sometimes it means disappointing people. Sometimes it means
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  Speaker 1: sitting alone with a feeling you've been avoiding, and sometimes
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  Speaker 1: it looks like letting go of versions of yourself that
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  Speaker 1: once kept you safe but don't fit anymore, choosing to
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  Speaker 1: see your destructive behavior as self indulgent. Really Another question
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  Speaker 1: I ask a lot is what do you know now
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  Speaker 1: that you wish you'd known earlier? And I have so
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  Speaker 1: many answers for that. I wish I had known that
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  Speaker 1: rest is not a reward. I wish I had known
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  Speaker 1: that boundaries don't make you difficult, they make you honest.
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  Speaker 1: I wish I had known that you don't have to
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  Speaker 1: explain every choice you make to be worthy of it.
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  Speaker 1: I wish I had known that confidence isn't loud, it's quiet.
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  Speaker 1: It's an absence of self betrayal. And I also wish
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  Speaker 1: that I'd known that you can love deeply and still
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  Speaker 1: choose yourself, that those two things don't cancel each other out.
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  Speaker 1: For a long time, I thought choosing myself meant walking
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  Speaker 1: away from relationships, from expectations, from identities people were comfortable with.
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  Speaker 1: But what I've learned is sometimes choosing yourself means staying
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  Speaker 1: and just showing up Differently. People also ask me how
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  Speaker 1: do you deal with fear? And I want to be
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  Speaker 1: really honest here. I still get scared. I still doubt
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  Speaker 1: myself a lot. I still have moments where the old
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  Speaker 1: voices creep in and they tell me I'm too much
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  Speaker 1: or I'm not enough. But I am choosing daily to
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  Speaker 1: not allow fear to get the final vote anymore. Now,
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  Speaker 1: when fear shows up, I try to ask it a question.
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  Speaker 1: I say, what are you protecting me from? And what
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  Speaker 1: would happen if I didn't listen to you this time?
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  Speaker 1: That shift alone changes everything, because fear isn't the enemy.
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  Speaker 1: Avoidance is quitting is Here's the one, you know. I
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  Speaker 1: love asking my guests what does choosing yourself look like
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  Speaker 1: on a regular Tuesday or any day of the week.
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  Speaker 1: And for me, it's not glamorous, Nope, It's about drinking
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  Speaker 1: enough water. It's about moving my body in way that
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  Speaker 1: feel kind and not punishing. I've already done enough of that.
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  Speaker 1: It's saying no without adding a paragraph afterwards. And it's
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  Speaker 1: checking in. It's asking what do I need right now
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  Speaker 1: and then listening to the answer, even when it's inconvenient
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  Speaker 1: or uncomfortable. Some days, choosing myself looks like productivity one
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  Speaker 1: hundred percent, but some days it looks like rest. You
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  Speaker 1: know what, All of it counts. People often ask me
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: what I'm watching, which I don't really get, like it's
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: going to reveal something very important about my personality. Maybe
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  Speaker 1: it does, so okay. My favorite show right now that
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: I can't stop watching is called The Pit, and I
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: never thought I would get into this show, but now
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  Speaker 1: I have. And here's why I love it because it's
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: not perfect. It's it's like a slice of life. You
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: see the people, they're flawed. It's funny without trying too hard.
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  Speaker 1: It lets things be quiet sometimes, and it reminds me
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  Speaker 1: that good storytelling isn't a rush to the end. It's
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  Speaker 1: an unfolding and that I love And I think that
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  Speaker 1: is why I love television so much, because it mirrors life.
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  Speaker 1: It's messy, it's complicated, it's unfinished, and honestly, some nights,
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  Speaker 1: choosing myself looks like getting into bed early, turning on
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  Speaker 1: that show and letting myself rest without guilt. That counts too.
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  Speaker 1: There's also something else that's been going on in my
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  Speaker 1: life right now. I'm doing a cosmetic campaign with it Cosmetics,
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  Speaker 1: and I didn't expect how much it would shift the
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  Speaker 1: way I think about my skin, especially being in my fifties. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: for so long, skincare felt like something I was supposed
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  Speaker 1: to fight with, you know, like fight the wrinkles, fight
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  Speaker 1: the texture, fight the age. And this experience has invited
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  Speaker 1: me to look at things differently. Yeah. My skin tells
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  Speaker 1: the story. It's lived in, it's expressive. It has changed,
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  Speaker 1: but guess what, so have I And this campaign has
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  Speaker 1: helped me see my skin not as something to hide
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  Speaker 1: or correct, but something to care for and protect. How
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  Speaker 1: I nourish it, how I clean it, how I let
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  Speaker 1: it be seen. And I love that I get to
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  Speaker 1: share that with you because this isn't about pretending we're younger,
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  Speaker 1: uh h, It's about learning how to take care of
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  Speaker 1: the skin we're in and feeling confident showing up as
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  Speaker 1: we are. It's definitely more skin care and that feels
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: very I choose me. Oh, and yes, people ask me
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: because they know how important cleaning is to me. They
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: ask me what's my favorite cleaning hack? And I really,
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  Speaker 1: honestly I do. I care about a tidy space, but
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  Speaker 1: the fact of the matter is I currently do not
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  Speaker 1: have the energy, time, or interest in making my house
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  Speaker 1: look like a magazine spread. Yes, that would be nice,
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  Speaker 1: but I just can't do it right now. So here's
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  Speaker 1: my real hack. I focus on what is someone going
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  Speaker 1: to see first when they come to my house. When
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  Speaker 1: I'm short on time or even patients, I do just
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  Speaker 1: a quick reset. You know, it looks good, but it
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  Speaker 1: doesn't take forever. I clear the surfaces, I clean the countertops,
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  Speaker 1: I get rid of the clutter, maybe even shove it
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  Speaker 1: in a drawer. I fold the throw blankets that are
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: heaping on the couch. And yeah, no, the floor isn't perfect.
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  Speaker 1: I don't care. It's fine. If there's laundry somewhere, it
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: shouldn't be fine. Fine, fine, But when the surfaces are clean,
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  Speaker 1: my nervous system, for some reason calms down. And that
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  Speaker 1: matters more than perfection, just that feeling of ease. Oh
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: and I also keep a basket in the main room,
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: and anything that doesn't belong in the room gets tossed
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: in there. So I just throw it in there. I
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: don't think about it, and I know I will get
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  Speaker 1: to it later. I will put all of that stuff
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  Speaker 1: away later, and I'll know because the basket is overflowing
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  Speaker 1: that it's time to handle that. It's not about being spotless,
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  Speaker 1: you guys. It's about creating a space where there's enough
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: room to breathe, especially when life is full, and I
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  Speaker 1: know it is so full for all of us right now. Honestly,
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  Speaker 1: you know what choosing myself looks like? Making things good enough,
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: just good enough, not perfect, so that I can rest
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  Speaker 1: my foot, I can take care of my mom, and
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: I can still feel like myself in my own home.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: I can still feel calm. I've also been what surprises
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: you most about this season of life? And the answer is, huh,
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: how much freedom there is here? Actually? Not because everything
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: is easy, no, but because I kind of care less
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: about what people think and being liked, and I care
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: more about being aligned with my true self and what
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  Speaker 1: matters most to me in this moment. I don't need
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: to prove who I am anymore. I just need to
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: be myself. And maybe the most important question of all,
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: what do you want? Now? That one still scares me,
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: you guys, because wanting requires honesty, and it might mean
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: wanting something different than I did yesterday, which may confuse
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: me and the other people in my life. So honestly,
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: that means communication, which I'm not great at you guys.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: Hard talks are hard, but they're also very very good.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: But right now, what I want is this. I want
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: conversations that tell the truth. I want laughter that feels
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: like it's just breath, which means spending time, more time
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: with Dave and making it a point to watch some
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: comedy something light. I want more time with my friends,
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: and that means putting this on my calendar like a
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: business meeting, like scheduling in time with my friends. I
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: am not great at it, but I'm really trying, guys.
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  Speaker 1: So for anybody out there that is my friend and
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: has been feeling like they're on the back burner, I apologize.
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  Speaker 1: I'm trying, And you know what, I want to keep
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  Speaker 1: choosing myself even when it's hard, and I want to
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  Speaker 1: invite you to do the same. So if you're listening
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: and you're in a season of questioning, if you're tired
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: of pretending you're fine, if you're curious about who you're becoming,
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: you are in the right place. This podcast isn't about answers,
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: It's about permission, and today I'm giving myself permission. So
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: thank you for listening, thank you for staying and Before
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: I let you go, I'll share my last I Choose
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  Speaker 1: Me moment. It was taking the time to answer these
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: questions for myself and for you. It's a different practice
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: than hearing the answers from others. For sure. It helps
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: me remember to choose myself, and I encourage you to
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: do the same. Ask yourself the questions. Until next time,
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: Love you guys. I'm very excited to share that my
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: book I Choose Me Chasing Joy, Finding Purpose and Embracing
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: reinvention is coming April fourteenth, and it would mean the
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: world to me if you would pre order a copy
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: or the audiobook wherever you get your books. And yes,
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: I am definitely narrating the audiobook, so it's going to
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: be so fun.