Latest / The You Project / #1924 Doing Better Than You Feel - Harps & Tiff

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#1924 Doing Better Than You Feel - Harps & Tiff · The You Project

0:00
Speaker 1: I get atf welcome to Look. I don't know if
0:03
Speaker 1: you've heard of this. It's called the You Project. My
0:05
Speaker 1: name's Craig Harpy. You can call me, you know, Fatty
0:08
Speaker 1: Harp's Jumbo whatever you like. Just don't call me late
0:11
Speaker 1: for dinner. Hi.
0:11
Speaker 2: How are you rings a bell? You the you pro?
0:15
Speaker 3: Yeah?
0:15
Speaker 1: Look, you look been around for a while, you know,
0:18
Speaker 1: I'm my ship doesn't think I'm fucking amazing, amazing. Imagine
0:25
Speaker 1: we'll say even I don't say that, and the people
0:30
Speaker 1: definitely don't say that, so we know that's a crock
0:32
Speaker 1: of shit.
0:32
Speaker 2: They bloody do though. This is the thing they do.
0:36
Speaker 1: I talked myself up once and one of my best
0:38
Speaker 1: friends shot me down in a fucking blaze of glory.
0:42
Speaker 1: What a prick.
0:43
Speaker 2: You should punch them in the face.
0:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I was I going to
0:49
Speaker 1: say to you, we were just talking about and I
0:52
Speaker 1: wanted to talk about something else. But I don't know,
0:55
Speaker 1: Maybe we'll get there. But we're talking about how you know,
1:00
Speaker 1: sometimes you show you've got to show up. You've got
1:02
Speaker 1: to do a podcast, or you've got to do a presentation.
1:04
Speaker 1: I mean, in our lives anyway, not the but you've
1:07
Speaker 1: got to do whatever it is that you do. Yeah,
1:09
Speaker 1: you know, and it might be you doing parenting, it
1:12
Speaker 1: might be you doing selling apples at the mark, doesn't matter.
1:15
Speaker 1: But especially when it's kind of I guess communication based
1:19
Speaker 1: or interpersonal or people based, and you just like, you know,
1:25
Speaker 1: you're a five out of ten, but you don't want
1:28
Speaker 1: to look like you're five out of ten, or you
1:29
Speaker 1: don't want to saund and you want to you want
1:32
Speaker 1: to do a ten out of ten job, and you're
1:34
Speaker 1: kind of there, but you're just like, fuck, I'm not
1:36
Speaker 1: even feeling what I'm saying. You've had a bit of that.
1:40
Speaker 2: Had so much of that, so much harps.
1:44
Speaker 1: So you will tell Look, we're all here for you.
1:47
Speaker 1: What's going on? Now, We're all here, everybody. I just
1:50
Speaker 1: want you to lean in and you know, just put
1:52
Speaker 1: out your hands and come on, yeah, loving the Lord's wrong.
1:56
Speaker 1: We don't want to be right, so you just open up.
1:59
Speaker 1: You're in a save space, I.
2:01
Speaker 3: Think in pictures, right, So as you were saying that,
2:03
Speaker 3: everyone was leaning in with their arms out, ready to.
2:05
Speaker 2: Give me a big hug.
2:06
Speaker 3: But then all of a sudden, they all put their
2:08
Speaker 3: arms out in this whole evangelic cool thing going on.
2:12
Speaker 2: I was like, oh that changed, all right.
2:14
Speaker 1: Well you can just have the hug or you can
2:16
Speaker 1: have the prayer. So you've been all the well wishes
2:20
Speaker 1: or the positive vibes or whatever it is that works
2:22
Speaker 1: for you. So what's been going on? Like you were
2:26
Speaker 1: about to kind of downline, and I went, fuck it,
2:28
Speaker 1: let's just tell everyone, because I think it's the human experience,
2:33
Speaker 1: isn't it. It's like, yeah, so so go well.
2:37
Speaker 3: I feel like I talk about it all the time
2:40
Speaker 3: recently because all of our preambles have been oh, TIFFs, foremones, tifts, tired,
2:45
Speaker 3: so it's all, you know, like it's just a bit
2:48
Speaker 3: of a continuation of that shocking sleep, shocking energy. And
2:54
Speaker 3: I said to you before, like I've had a few
2:56
Speaker 3: podcasts lately or meetings where I'm just you know, when
3:02
Speaker 3: you're sitting in the middle of it and you're like
3:03
Speaker 3: you are, oh, the any critic, Like, brain's not firing,
3:09
Speaker 3: not my usual self, I can't engage the same way,
3:13
Speaker 3: aren't thinking as fast And then just start observing that
3:17
Speaker 3: and criticizing myself in the middle of it and just
3:19
Speaker 3: being so embarrassed for myself, just like, oh, God, like,
3:23
Speaker 3: what's wrong with you? Plan to pull the pin on
3:25
Speaker 3: the whole thing. You might have to move to blow
3:27
Speaker 3: Canber and get a job washing dishes somewhere.
3:30
Speaker 1: Wow, that's I mean, I don't know, but I would
3:35
Speaker 1: think there's a couple of steps between where you are
3:38
Speaker 1: and shout out to the Canberrans too. I mean, let
3:43
Speaker 1: me know.
3:43
Speaker 2: I'll send you my resume.
3:45
Speaker 1: I think you've just thrown canbra under the bus. I mean,
3:49
Speaker 1: I quite like. Camera just seems to be like the
3:55
Speaker 1: low rung on the ladder, the geographical ladder moved to camera.
4:00
Speaker 1: Shout out, shout out it is. It is an interesting
4:06
Speaker 1: thing though, when you have a job and everybody that
4:09
Speaker 1: has you know, a job or a role that they
4:11
Speaker 1: feel or whatever, and you you know you want to
4:15
Speaker 1: do the best at that, but you don't feel the best,
4:19
Speaker 1: but you can't. It's like I say to my clients,
4:24
Speaker 1: my trainers, I should say, everyone pays the same amount
4:28
Speaker 1: for you, So whether or not if you're training with
4:31
Speaker 1: TIF at seven am or seven pm, you should get
4:34
Speaker 1: the same tiff because I'm not paying more or I'm
4:39
Speaker 1: paying So the challenge for you as the coach or
4:42
Speaker 1: the speaker or the trainer in this example, and the
4:45
Speaker 1: challenge for me was trying to have as much energy, focus,
4:50
Speaker 1: attention and quality of product at seven pm when I
4:54
Speaker 1: got to the gym at five am. And so now
4:56
Speaker 1: we're fourteen hours in because they don't I can't go, oh, look,
5:01
Speaker 1: I'm really tired. It's been a big day. You're my
5:03
Speaker 1: thirteenth appointment, so you know it'll probably be shit, but
5:08
Speaker 1: you understand because I'm tired. Well, no, you know that's
5:14
Speaker 1: got nothing to do with them and everything to do
5:17
Speaker 1: with you. And I used to talk about this idea.
5:20
Speaker 1: This could become the title or not. So there's two
5:24
Speaker 1: terms for it. One is your performance threshold. And your
5:28
Speaker 1: performance threshold means how much of a certain thing can
5:31
Speaker 1: you do at the level that you want to do
5:33
Speaker 1: it before you need a break or a rest or,
5:36
Speaker 1: you know. So that could be training clients, that could
5:39
Speaker 1: be podcasts you might know. I mean, of course there
5:42
Speaker 1: are other variables. But you can do three podcasts in
5:44
Speaker 1: a morning and they all be pretty good because you've
5:47
Speaker 1: got half an hour an hour between each. But by
5:49
Speaker 1: lunchtime you've done three, they're good. But you probably can't
5:52
Speaker 1: do six good ones, right because it's just it's mental
5:56
Speaker 1: overload or physical overload, and you get angry and with
5:59
Speaker 1: nobody he fucking wants that. That's terrifying. And the other
6:02
Speaker 1: term I used to use for it, other than performance
6:05
Speaker 1: threshold as shit threshold, and it's the same thing, but
6:08
Speaker 1: it just means how many whatevers can you do, how
6:12
Speaker 1: many hours, how many sessions, how many phone calls, how
6:16
Speaker 1: many lawns can you mow, whatever it is that you
6:18
Speaker 1: do before it turns to shit. And I used to
6:24
Speaker 1: say to my trainers, figure out what that number is,
6:28
Speaker 1: and then don't do more than that number, because people
6:30
Speaker 1: don't deserve that people deserve if everyone's paying a premium price,
6:36
Speaker 1: and of course we're human and all of that, but
6:38
Speaker 1: as much as humanly possible, they need to get the
6:41
Speaker 1: same level of quality each time.
6:43
Speaker 3: Well, otherways had a low number in terms of clients,
6:47
Speaker 3: physical clients for that reason because I'm very like I'm
6:51
Speaker 3: very animated and very energetic, and I know that's what
6:55
Speaker 3: I bring to the session. They're not there for me
6:57
Speaker 3: to look at a clipboard and read ex is out
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Speaker 3: in monotone.
7:02
Speaker 1: Oh, don't start me. Don't start me on fucking generic
7:10
Speaker 1: personal trainers who don't actually prescribe exercise. You people, you
7:16
Speaker 1: know who you are. You train all your clients the
7:18
Speaker 1: same way. It's fucking so unprofessional, it's so inappropriate, it's
7:23
Speaker 1: so dangerous, it's so lazy. Stop fucking doing it. It
7:28
Speaker 1: just drives me nuts. You're being told, ah, fuck you
7:33
Speaker 1: if you do that, you're not a personal trainer. It's
7:36
Speaker 1: well you are, but you're a bad one. Like your
7:38
Speaker 1: job is literally to prescribe people individual programs, exercises, experiences
7:46
Speaker 1: based on a myriad of variables. And if you like,
7:51
Speaker 1: I won't. I don't want to throw anyone under the bus.
7:54
Speaker 1: But even lately, I've seen people who would come to
7:57
Speaker 1: the gym, They'll be trained by a trainer. Then the
7:59
Speaker 1: next person and who's nothing like the previous person, essentially
8:03
Speaker 1: does the same workout, and then I'll see them another day,
8:07
Speaker 1: and then there's like a complete another person doing essentially
8:10
Speaker 1: the same workout. I'm like, this is not personalized prescription.
8:15
Speaker 1: This is a generic program that you're comfortable with. It's
8:20
Speaker 1: like you go to the doctor. Ten people go to
8:23
Speaker 1: the doctor for ten different reasons, and she gives them
8:26
Speaker 1: all the same drug because she can't be fucked you're
8:31
Speaker 1: all getting the blue pill. You're all getting predness alone.
8:35
Speaker 1: What but I've got a headache. Oh yeah, but my
8:40
Speaker 1: dick's falling off. Yeah but I've got heck and whatever.
8:43
Speaker 1: It's like, No, you're all getting this. It's ridiculous, But
8:48
Speaker 1: that happens, you go go see it fucking annoying. I
8:56
Speaker 1: feel like there's about ninety eight percent of our listeners gone, well,
8:59
Speaker 1: this is completely irrelevant to me. You know, it's you
9:03
Speaker 1: can apply that idea. Yeah, there's two percent going, oh fuck,
9:08
Speaker 1: that's me. Well, I mean the idea of personal training
9:13
Speaker 1: is that it's not the same as you know, it's
9:16
Speaker 1: you're not doing the same thing as everyone. Ergo personal,
9:20
Speaker 1: ergo the name. It's in the name. Otherwise it'd be
9:24
Speaker 1: called generic training by Brian.
9:29
Speaker 2: One on one generic training, boom, Yeah, one.
9:31
Speaker 1: On one generic training. You're all getting the same workout. Yeah,
9:35
Speaker 1: but I'm here for flexibility. Why am I bench pressing?
9:37
Speaker 1: Shut the fuck up? Yeah, I'm here to become a powerlifter.
9:42
Speaker 1: Why am I dancing? Oh? Just and three two one step?
9:47
Speaker 1: You know it's like ah, anyway, steps down off high horse.
9:53
Speaker 1: But so how do you manage that? Like when you're
9:57
Speaker 1: not having a good day, or were your energies three
10:00
Speaker 1: or a four? Or your mindset's a three or four?
10:02
Speaker 1: Are you're frustrated or because how do you do you
10:05
Speaker 1: just soldier on? Or do you have a hack where
10:08
Speaker 1: you can get yourself kind of.
10:10
Speaker 3: Back Because I'm I don't have a lot of back
10:13
Speaker 3: to bout clients like they, you know, I normally have
10:17
Speaker 3: two or three at a time and then that I'm done,
10:21
Speaker 3: so I don't overload myself, so I can normally get through.
10:25
Speaker 2: And training is different.
10:27
Speaker 3: When I'm podcasting and I'm sitting down, there's I'm.
10:33
Speaker 2: Not playing a role.
10:35
Speaker 3: I'm not playing the trainer that's there to kick your
10:37
Speaker 3: ass and teach your stuff and lift the mood and energy.
10:41
Speaker 3: I'm I don't know that's not there, so I'd struggle more.
10:45
Speaker 3: And it's cognitive, you know. It's that It's that not
10:49
Speaker 3: being sharp, not getting a bit distracted in my head,
10:53
Speaker 3: being just a bit fairy, bloody fairy, and then noticing
10:57
Speaker 3: that and criticizing it. That's where I struggle the most.
11:00
Speaker 3: So it's in the in the podcast more than the training.
11:05
Speaker 3: It's very rare that I that I am The only
11:09
Speaker 3: times I will struggle on personal training clients is if
11:13
Speaker 3: they're in the afternoon and I'm and I'm really run down,
11:17
Speaker 3: and I've only got two sessions that I run in
11:20
Speaker 3: an afternoon for a group and they are super fun.
11:22
Speaker 3: They normally just lift me up anyway, So I'm like,
11:26
Speaker 3: thank God for that.
11:28
Speaker 2: But yeah, it's I don't know, it's bloody tough.
11:32
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I mean it's it's it's all of us,
11:35
Speaker 1: you know, And it's I think you just and of
11:38
Speaker 1: course people understand, like if you feel terrible, you can
11:41
Speaker 1: tell people, but you can't you know them down well,
11:46
Speaker 1: you want that to be the exception, not the rule.
11:49
Speaker 1: It's like, I would rather not see someone than bring
11:54
Speaker 1: my bad day to them, do you know what I mean.
11:57
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't want to inflict me on you
12:00
Speaker 1: at the moment, because it ate your job to pick
12:04
Speaker 1: me up. Now, I'm talking about in a professional capacity here,
12:07
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about friendship. Yeah, you know. And the
12:13
Speaker 1: the amount of just because I've done so much right
12:16
Speaker 1: and even though it's a very small percentage, maybe one
12:19
Speaker 1: or two percent of the time, but because I've done
12:22
Speaker 1: so many sessions and talks, still ends up being quite
12:25
Speaker 1: a number of sessions where like I remember, I've told
12:29
Speaker 1: this once, I think on the show. But one hundred
12:31
Speaker 1: and fifty years ago, when I had a girlfriend when
12:34
Speaker 1: I wasn't old and weird and hermity, Me and the
12:40
Speaker 1: aforementioned girlfriend had been having all night conversation about some
12:48
Speaker 1: of the challenges, right, and it was just that's not me.
12:53
Speaker 1: I've only ever done that once in my life, and
12:54
Speaker 1: it was that night right where it was just it
12:56
Speaker 1: was going around in circles and anyway. It wasn't a
12:59
Speaker 1: very it wasn't to but it wasn't a great it
13:01
Speaker 1: was anyway. So I literally had about maybe thirty minutes sleep,
13:08
Speaker 1: and then I had fifteen appointments. I had six am
13:14
Speaker 1: to nine pm, back to back one hour sessions or
13:18
Speaker 1: maybe fourteen or thirty. And this is back in the
13:20
Speaker 1: day when I was young. I used to do. I
13:22
Speaker 1: was like a weapon, Like I could do lots and
13:24
Speaker 1: lots and lots, and there would be you know, because
13:27
Speaker 1: I owned my own business, I would sometimes which it
13:32
Speaker 1: seems inappropriate, but in the context it was fine. I'd
13:36
Speaker 1: eat my lunch while I was training someone, but it'd
13:38
Speaker 1: be you know, like i'd have a protein bar or
13:40
Speaker 1: a little bit of and it'd always be with someone
13:43
Speaker 1: that I knew well and they're fine with it, and
13:45
Speaker 1: i'd do a workout with a clientel. But I remember
13:49
Speaker 1: just I didn't even want to turn up for the
13:52
Speaker 1: first person, like, I was emotionally drained, I was exhausted,
13:58
Speaker 1: I was sad, I was anxio. I was the opposite
14:02
Speaker 1: of what you need to be to do that job well.
14:06
Speaker 1: And I just remember thinking, the last thing I want
14:10
Speaker 1: to do is to be an inspiration to anyone. I
14:13
Speaker 1: just want to fucking cuddle. I just want to I
14:16
Speaker 1: just want to lie in front of the fire, like
14:19
Speaker 1: you know. And and I guess I could have canceled everyone,
14:23
Speaker 1: but it was my business and it was new and
14:26
Speaker 1: I was yeah, but that's you know, I mean, in
14:28
Speaker 1: the context of no, I just got through it. But
14:31
Speaker 1: in the context of real world problems, I think I
14:34
Speaker 1: had one cancelation, so maybe I slept for thirty minutes.
14:37
Speaker 1: But in the context of you know, somebody having cancer,
14:40
Speaker 1: or somebody being in a bloody war zone, or somebody
14:43
Speaker 1: not having clean drinking water, these are these are not
14:46
Speaker 1: problems at all. But you know, the reality is like
14:50
Speaker 1: for us as individuals, whatever it is, hard for you?
14:54
Speaker 1: Is hard for you? Do you know what I mean?
14:57
Speaker 2: Yeah?
14:57
Speaker 3: Yeah, this morning I woke up forty three, so I
15:01
Speaker 3: had a real turbulence sleep lately and went to sleep
15:05
Speaker 3: reasonable hour. Woke up at two forty three, wide awake,
15:09
Speaker 3: and I was.
15:09
Speaker 1: Like, ah, today was this today?
15:12
Speaker 2: Yeah?
15:13
Speaker 3: And this has been happening a bit lately, and I
15:15
Speaker 3: was like, here we go a big day tomorrow. I've
15:18
Speaker 3: got clients early, got it up at that time, did
15:20
Speaker 3: not go back to sleep at all, and then and
15:23
Speaker 3: I just thought I'm gonna be rake. You know when
15:24
Speaker 3: you feel really awake and then six am comes, just
15:28
Speaker 3: before the alarm turns off, you just doze off and
15:30
Speaker 3: then you wake up and you feel like ass. I
15:33
Speaker 3: was waiting for that to happen. It didn't happen. But
15:36
Speaker 3: I played music, positive music. I listened to some shit
15:39
Speaker 3: to get like I just I put so much effort
15:42
Speaker 3: into changing my state because I was like, okay, because
15:46
Speaker 3: this is because this is happening frequently. At the moment,
15:48
Speaker 3: this becomes a story real easy, and I can either
15:52
Speaker 3: drag my fucking bottom lip all the way to the
15:54
Speaker 3: gym and drag that story in. But like I put
15:59
Speaker 3: yeah and I've been good all day, still been it's good,
16:02
Speaker 3: not like not sharp, not good on cognitively, but.
16:06
Speaker 1: But emotionally you've been all right, Like you're not walking
16:09
Speaker 1: around SADDI mac sad stuff.
16:11
Speaker 3: Nah No, And weirdly haven't haven't crashed yet four you know,
16:15
Speaker 3: fourth thirty, We haven't.
16:16
Speaker 2: We haven't had a nap.
16:18
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's I mean, you know, peaks and troughs, right,
16:22
Speaker 1: but it's it's trying to figure out in the middle
16:25
Speaker 1: of all of that too, which we're always talking about,
16:27
Speaker 1: figure out what's the best operating system for you, you know,
16:31
Speaker 1: knowing you know, like I guess a good idea for
16:34
Speaker 1: you tonight if you could would be to go to
16:37
Speaker 1: sleep at eight o'clock, if that was an opportunity or
16:40
Speaker 1: a chance. You know, it's like I like I'm doing
16:45
Speaker 1: I'm up to my eyeballs at the moment in kind
16:49
Speaker 1: of the run home to what's called submission where you
16:53
Speaker 1: submit all your work for your PhD. So but there's
16:56
Speaker 1: still a lot of work to do. But I know
17:02
Speaker 1: that if I do it somewhere around eight am till
17:05
Speaker 1: midday or not that that's the totality of it, but
17:09
Speaker 1: for that particular cognitive task, which is not a fun task.
17:14
Speaker 1: I'm much better in the morning. So one of the
17:17
Speaker 1: mistakes that I've been making is, you know, doing other
17:21
Speaker 1: shit and then starting my PhD at four. I'm like
17:25
Speaker 1: and going, I'll just do this between four and ten
17:28
Speaker 1: or whatever, and it just doesn't work. It does, but
17:32
Speaker 1: for other people it does. Like there are other people,
17:34
Speaker 1: as you know from pH three sixty, where like later
17:38
Speaker 1: in the day they come alive. But for fatty harps
17:42
Speaker 1: like my brain. In fact, it's funny because for that
17:45
Speaker 1: kind of cognitive load, that kind of work, that kind
17:49
Speaker 1: of task where it is real intense focus and problem
17:56
Speaker 1: solving and trying to understand stuff, for me, it's earlier
18:01
Speaker 1: in the day. But there's things like this where it's
18:06
Speaker 1: not that kind of work, you know, it's not that
18:10
Speaker 1: kind of brain work where I'm just banging on with
18:12
Speaker 1: you and I'm quite present and I'm not saying this
18:16
Speaker 1: is the world's best podcast or the world's best episode.
18:18
Speaker 1: But I find this easy, but I don't find the
18:21
Speaker 1: other stuff easy, you know. So I think it's figuring
18:23
Speaker 1: out your own timing with everything from training to sleep
18:27
Speaker 1: to you know, food to you know, cognitive performance.
18:32
Speaker 3: I have found it really hard finding that window of
18:37
Speaker 3: time in now that I'm doing a course and doing
18:41
Speaker 3: some study and some thinking and some creating, I'm finding
18:45
Speaker 3: that really difficult, especially with what's going on with a
18:48
Speaker 3: lack of sleep and everything. At the moment.
18:50
Speaker 2: I'm a bit like you.
18:51
Speaker 3: I think I'm good in the mornings.
18:55
Speaker 2: I simp this.
18:55
Speaker 3: So I got something popped up on my socials the
18:58
Speaker 3: other day about body doubling. Was on an ADHD page
19:02
Speaker 3: and I sent it to my mate and I said,
19:03
Speaker 3: this is a thing, and that just had these things
19:06
Speaker 3: about having a body double in the room, like just
19:09
Speaker 3: a person in the room.
19:11
Speaker 2: While you work, and I was thinking about it. I'm like,
19:14
Speaker 2: that's so me, Like I need.
19:16
Speaker 1: I don't understand. I don't understand. What do you mean
19:19
Speaker 1: having a person in the room, a body double.
19:21
Speaker 3: Just having a person there next to you and you're like, oh,
19:24
Speaker 3: we're doing the work, and then you do work together
19:26
Speaker 3: and then like it's like your focus.
19:29
Speaker 2: It's such a thing.
19:30
Speaker 1: Get oh, I don't get what do you mean a
19:33
Speaker 1: body double though? Are you Are you talking about an
19:36
Speaker 1: imaginary thing or an actual person?
19:40
Speaker 2: No, Like I mean just a person, a real person
19:44
Speaker 2: in the room with you, like you're in a classroom,
19:47
Speaker 2: or like you're in a group.
19:49
Speaker 1: Why is that called a body double?
19:51
Speaker 2: I just was on the Fuck Ups.
19:54
Speaker 1: Well, I'm curious. I've never heard the term. To me,
19:57
Speaker 1: it's something in a movie.
19:58
Speaker 2: I have to find the creator of the the reel
20:02
Speaker 2: now and send it to you so you can find Okay.
20:04
Speaker 1: So the point is you're saying, if you're doing something
20:07
Speaker 1: but somebody in the room, there's someone in the room
20:09
Speaker 1: with you doing a similar something or also working, you're
20:13
Speaker 1: more productive.
20:14
Speaker 3: Yeah right, Yeah, I think I've focus better if I
20:17
Speaker 3: think I'm doing things with someone. That's why I gets
20:21
Speaker 3: so in my head or so distracted with things. So
20:25
Speaker 3: I got we're doing this now?
20:27
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so I similar to that, right, if I've
20:31
Speaker 1: got to do typ work or I've got a bunch
20:34
Speaker 1: of work coming up with conferences, corporate stuff and then
20:37
Speaker 1: public stuff. By the way, everyone, we're launching some public
20:40
Speaker 1: workshops soon. We're coming to everywhere except Canberra because Tip
20:44
Speaker 1: said it's no good. Then yeah, no, I actually don't
20:50
Speaker 1: know where we're going. I actually like Canberra and I've
20:52
Speaker 1: done workshops there before. But if Melissa's got to do
20:57
Speaker 1: some you know, typ stuff corp stuff like events stuff,
21:02
Speaker 1: business stuff, and I've got to do stuff. Quite often,
21:05
Speaker 1: we'll just jump on zoom and we'll do we'll do
21:09
Speaker 1: a lot of it together where we're just working through
21:12
Speaker 1: something and I'm typing, she's typing. Her head's on the screen,
21:17
Speaker 1: My head's on her screen. I'm like, what do you
21:20
Speaker 1: think of this? Okay? So when should we launch that?
21:23
Speaker 1: She's like, have you written a copy for that? I'm like, no,
21:25
Speaker 1: when do you need the copy by? I go, all right, well,
21:29
Speaker 1: what do we how much money are we going to
21:30
Speaker 1: spend on that? What do you think? Blah blah blah,
21:34
Speaker 1: you know, do you think we could go with this?
21:35
Speaker 1: Do you think okay, what do you think the price
21:37
Speaker 1: point is for that? Should we do an early bird off?
21:39
Speaker 1: Or do you think? You know all this stuff? And
21:42
Speaker 1: you know we're going to go to Perth alright, so
21:44
Speaker 1: do we want to like try and get two hundred
21:46
Speaker 1: bums on seats or five hundred bums on seats? What
21:48
Speaker 1: do you think? And what venues do you think? And
21:51
Speaker 1: like just all of that and we get ten hours
21:54
Speaker 1: of work done in and out? What do you laugh at? So?
21:57
Speaker 2: I think we all got the point about ten minutes ago.
22:00
Speaker 1: Keep going, Oh, that's very rude. Too many examples.
22:09
Speaker 2: No, I got it, I've got it now. You just
22:10
Speaker 2: nailed it at the end. I'm with you.
22:12
Speaker 1: Shut up. I don't like you anymore. You know my friend,
22:17
Speaker 1: my friend. You can't be my friend anymore. That's it, everybody. Hey,
22:22
Speaker 1: I need a new friend. Just apply the project facebook page.
22:27
Speaker 1: You want to be my friend. If you want to
22:29
Speaker 1: replace Tiff, there's an opening. She's shit. She's a shit friend.
22:35
Speaker 1: Makes me feel bad just because she woke up at
22:40
Speaker 1: two forty three. She's decided to be a you know what,
22:44
Speaker 1: you know what? She's being one of them one of
22:47
Speaker 1: the words I can't say on this show.
22:48
Speaker 2: Apparently, Oh, dear, choke.
22:54
Speaker 1: On your chicken. I hape your choke on your chicken breast.
22:57
Speaker 2: I have a chicken breast tonight.
22:59
Speaker 3: Did you know?
23:00
Speaker 1: Clear? I hope you choke on it. I don't really. Everyone,
23:03
Speaker 1: don't send me an email. All right? Well, so are
23:09
Speaker 1: you saying I'm a little bit verbose? Are you reinforcing
23:12
Speaker 1: what sister Catherine said in grade four?
23:14
Speaker 2: Got there and nailed it, And you've got a body double.
23:18
Speaker 2: You and Melissa a body doubling to get your work done.
23:21
Speaker 1: I don't even understand the relationship between the concept and
23:24
Speaker 1: the term, but okay, I'll take it. Yeah, I think.
23:27
Speaker 1: But also, like to that point, there's a guy called Alex.
23:33
Speaker 1: Shout out to Alex. I'm going to say Alex, and
23:36
Speaker 1: so he can listen to himself on the podcast. Alex
23:39
Speaker 1: sits at the cafe every morning about fifteen feet from me.
23:45
Speaker 1: And Alex is an investor in the stock market. Like
23:50
Speaker 1: that's his job, is the stock market. Like I've got
23:52
Speaker 1: no idea. I wouldn't know a share from a bloody
23:56
Speaker 1: desert boot from a banana, right, so I don't. But
23:59
Speaker 1: that's his and he's a genius at it, and I
24:02
Speaker 1: think he does very well at it. But he lives
24:05
Speaker 1: in the apartments right next to the cafe. But every
24:08
Speaker 1: morning when I get there at stupid o'clock, he's already there,
24:11
Speaker 1: and he sits there with his computer, sits there with
24:14
Speaker 1: his phone, he's got earphones in and he's working. And
24:16
Speaker 1: he also often has this like spiral bound book or
24:19
Speaker 1: this little diary where he's writing with a pen in
24:22
Speaker 1: that he's working on his computer, and he'll be there
24:26
Speaker 1: before me and after me. So he's there for hours
24:29
Speaker 1: and then sometimes not often, I go back in the
24:31
Speaker 1: middle of the day to get a coffee and he's
24:34
Speaker 1: still there and I go, have you been here since
24:36
Speaker 1: six o'clock? He goes, nah, I went and worked out
24:39
Speaker 1: and I came back. So he literally lives thirty meters
24:43
Speaker 1: from that table. But he's much more productive in the
24:47
Speaker 1: middle of Mayhem than sitting in his apartment by himself,
24:53
Speaker 1: like beautiful apartment. He's like, yeah, I need I need stimulus.
24:58
Speaker 1: I need stimuli around me. And it's funny. You would
25:01
Speaker 1: think that that would not be good for focus or
25:04
Speaker 1: attention or productivity or efficiency because there's so much shit
25:07
Speaker 1: going on, But like, I'm quite productive in the morning too,
25:11
Speaker 1: because I do a bit of work, then I say
25:13
Speaker 1: low to someone, then they go. Then I do more
25:16
Speaker 1: work than someone else, and then yeah, it seems to
25:19
Speaker 1: be me sitting there completely engrossed in something for five hours.
25:23
Speaker 1: Typically ain't happening when I.
25:27
Speaker 3: Was walking sometime this week I can't remember, when I
25:30
Speaker 3: was going out for a walk and I was thinking
25:32
Speaker 3: about content and stuff that I had to plan and create,
25:36
Speaker 3: and I was listening to a podcast. And when I'm
25:39
Speaker 3: moving my legs and listening to a podcast. Part of
25:42
Speaker 3: my brain works fucking perfectly for thinking and creating and
25:48
Speaker 3: coming up with ideas and planning, And I'm like, how
25:50
Speaker 3: can that be happening when I'm doing all these other things?
25:52
Speaker 3: And then I come and I sit the computer, and
25:54
Speaker 3: I'm like, right, all that amazing stuff and everything just
25:58
Speaker 3: shuts down. And I'll find it weird that I can
26:01
Speaker 3: listen to a conversation and then have another method of
26:05
Speaker 3: thought happening in my brain creating an idea at the
26:09
Speaker 3: same time.
26:10
Speaker 2: It's so weird to me.
26:12
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's often the way I mean, you think
26:14
Speaker 1: about like developing your show, coming up with ideas and thoughts, stories,
26:22
Speaker 1: messages that are relevant but also interesting, and that is cognitive,
26:27
Speaker 1: but it's more creative, right, And I think, I mean,
26:30
Speaker 1: there's I think there's a bit of evidence to suggest
26:32
Speaker 1: that when we're moving we're more creative. And you know, yeah,
26:36
Speaker 1: you come back, you sit at your computer and it's
26:38
Speaker 1: like a creative desert. There's just nothing going on. I
26:43
Speaker 1: need to move, you know. It's like I feel like
26:47
Speaker 1: I have which is probably not true, but I seem
26:50
Speaker 1: to have really good ideas in the shower and the
26:52
Speaker 1: amount of times I get out of the shower wet
26:54
Speaker 1: and then write something because I have a big whiteboard
26:56
Speaker 1: in my room because I'm a weirdo in my bedroom
27:00
Speaker 1: and I get out wet and I just write this
27:02
Speaker 1: thing on these ideas on the whiteboard before I forget it,
27:07
Speaker 1: or before I forget that. It's like I might have
27:09
Speaker 1: two or three or four lines which are the start
27:11
Speaker 1: of a post, but if I don't get them out
27:14
Speaker 1: of my head and onto paper or onto a whiteboard
27:16
Speaker 1: or onto a computer screen, they vanish.
27:20
Speaker 2: See I've done that.
27:21
Speaker 3: I'll take notes when I'm out, and then i'll get
27:23
Speaker 3: back and still I'll look at.
27:25
Speaker 2: The notes and go, so, yeah, right, what was your
27:29
Speaker 2: big idea, mate? What's so profound?
27:32
Speaker 3: I'll think, Oh, that's really that's just interesting. I'm going
27:34
Speaker 3: to record a podcast on that when I get home.
27:36
Speaker 3: That's really interesting thought process. And then I have my
27:39
Speaker 3: little notes and I read them and I'm like, what's
27:41
Speaker 3: your point, cookie, it's a big idea here?
27:46
Speaker 1: Do you know what a trojan horse is?
27:49
Speaker 2: Something that gets on your computer when.
27:51
Speaker 1: You Okay, so no, not that not the virus. So
27:56
Speaker 1: the original idea and I should have looked this up
27:59
Speaker 1: before I so for all of the historians who were
28:01
Speaker 1: more have better recall than me. But so the idea
28:06
Speaker 1: I can't even remember who it was. But you know,
28:08
Speaker 1: one one kind of war LORDI dude, he built basically
28:14
Speaker 1: this great, big, huge, as big as my house timber horse,
28:19
Speaker 1: which was beautiful and amazing and it was on wheels,
28:23
Speaker 1: and he bought it kind of as a he made it,
28:26
Speaker 1: and he built it to this ruler king whatever as
28:31
Speaker 1: a gift, as an offering to you know, and the
28:34
Speaker 1: king the other dude was like, oh great, I know
28:37
Speaker 1: I'm mangling this everyone so o emami. But anyway, they
28:43
Speaker 1: opened the gates and they wieled in this big, beautiful
28:45
Speaker 1: present of this ginormous timber horse, which was majestic and
28:49
Speaker 1: all of that. But inside the timber horse were a
28:52
Speaker 1: bunch of his soldiers and warriors who came out, and
28:56
Speaker 1: that was how they got inside the walls of this
28:59
Speaker 1: compound to then attack the people in there. Right. So
29:04
Speaker 1: that's called a trojan horse when you go in kind
29:07
Speaker 1: of under the guise of oh, look we're doing this
29:10
Speaker 1: nice thing or we're doing this thing, but really we're
29:13
Speaker 1: actually doing something else. Right, And I was thinking about
29:18
Speaker 1: this idea of psychological trojan horses. Now this is how
29:26
Speaker 1: my mind works, right, I'm like, how do I share
29:30
Speaker 1: human behavior and psychology and you know, all the shit
29:33
Speaker 1: about theory of mind and metacognition and all these kind
29:36
Speaker 1: of dry, boring ideas in a kind of a psychological
29:42
Speaker 1: or cognitive or conversational trojan horse. And so you tell
29:48
Speaker 1: stories or you use humor and you think about like, really,
29:53
Speaker 1: for the most part, the you project is about you know,
29:58
Speaker 1: it's about how do we think better, do better, be better,
30:00
Speaker 1: create better. It's about the human experience. It's about your mind,
30:03
Speaker 1: it's about your body, it's about your potential. It's about
30:05
Speaker 1: all of those things. But then how do we get
30:08
Speaker 1: to that, Like what's the between the intro and getting
30:11
Speaker 1: to that point where? And so often it's about like,
30:15
Speaker 1: you've told stories today, you woke up at two forty three.
30:17
Speaker 1: I've told stories which you shut down like a motherfucker
30:21
Speaker 1: about how Melissa and I work, which apparently I talk
30:24
Speaker 1: too long and it was incredibly fucking boring and you
30:28
Speaker 1: should have put a time out signal in front. No
30:30
Speaker 1: thanks for that back in therapy for fatty harps. But anyway,
30:35
Speaker 1: but I mean, this is how we get to the
30:38
Speaker 1: point of, oh, how do we talk about these interesting
30:42
Speaker 1: things like performing under pressure, and how did we talk
30:46
Speaker 1: about like trying to work at an eight or a
30:48
Speaker 1: nine out of ten when you feel like a three. Well,
30:50
Speaker 1: you tell stories, right, because this is part of the
30:53
Speaker 1: human experience is you're going to have days where you
30:55
Speaker 1: feel like shit, but the reality of the day is
30:58
Speaker 1: you've still got to show up, you know. So yeah,
31:02
Speaker 1: for me, that's that kind of conversational trojan horse where
31:07
Speaker 1: I don't stand on a stage and go all right, everybody,
31:10
Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about your mind. You know,
31:13
Speaker 1: I just go, hey, put up your hand if you're
31:15
Speaker 1: an overthinker, and everyone goes, oh fuck, their hand goes
31:18
Speaker 1: up and they go me and I go, how's that
31:20
Speaker 1: working out for you? And they all laugh, and you know,
31:23
Speaker 1: I go, it's exhausting, isn't it. And then so we
31:25
Speaker 1: have fun and we have interaction, and I'm telling a story.
31:29
Speaker 1: And then but I'm opening the door on this really
31:32
Speaker 1: important issue is the relationship between anxiety and fear and
31:35
Speaker 1: overthinking and self sabotage and all of these interesting things
31:41
Speaker 1: that you need to kind of kind of get in
31:44
Speaker 1: the trojan horse and surprise them, you know, by ah, look,
31:50
Speaker 1: I'm not just telling you a story or being funny.
31:52
Speaker 1: I'm teaching you something. But it's coming in a kind
31:57
Speaker 1: of a conversational trojan horse.
32:00
Speaker 3: I always leaned back on thinking about how like thinking
32:04
Speaker 3: about boxing for me so lately because of that inner
32:08
Speaker 3: voice that in a narrative beating the shit out of
32:11
Speaker 3: me in the middle of podcast, telling me I'm pretty shit,
32:13
Speaker 3: and she'd just wrap it all up. And I think
32:18
Speaker 3: about the stories I tell and the times when I
32:22
Speaker 3: was sparring and doing the same thing and feeling like
32:25
Speaker 3: I was never getting better and I was shitty shit,
32:28
Speaker 3: and then being told by my coach it was the
32:29
Speaker 3: best session ever, and like the times that it just
32:32
Speaker 3: but boxing always hurt. It was always hard, and it
32:36
Speaker 3: wasn't overnight, and it was every day, and it was
32:38
Speaker 3: fucking hard work, and I loved it anyway, Like it
32:42
Speaker 3: was hard work all of the time. And after remind
32:45
Speaker 3: myself of that when I'm doing what I do, that
32:49
Speaker 3: I chose to do, that I love to do, and
32:51
Speaker 3: I chose it because I love it, and you've got
32:53
Speaker 3: to do it every day and you get better and
32:55
Speaker 3: better but it hurts and you get punched in the
32:58
Speaker 3: face and in the middle of getting better and Betty,
33:00
Speaker 3: you tell yourself shitter and shitter at times.
33:03
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, yeah, I mean choosing choosing to do the
33:11
Speaker 1: thing that most people wouldn't do. They wouldn't make that choice.
33:15
Speaker 1: And obviously we're not talking about reckless silly, but yeah,
33:19
Speaker 1: I mean, that's that's you know, I mean, as we
33:22
Speaker 1: say all the times, it's like consciously doing hard things,
33:25
Speaker 1: doing hard things by choice. Like it's all cliche, but
33:29
Speaker 1: it's you know, go where you grow. That's like the
33:31
Speaker 1: biggest cliche and self help, but it's kind of true,
33:34
Speaker 1: Like what where do you build resilience? Well, not sitting
33:37
Speaker 1: on the couch, not not taking the easy option, not
33:41
Speaker 1: avoiding the decisions you know, you know, not by stuffing
33:45
Speaker 1: stuff into your body that's bad for your body, like
33:48
Speaker 1: you you're fucking killing yourself and sabotaging yourself, your own genetics,
33:53
Speaker 1: your own health, your own potential, you know, by not
33:56
Speaker 1: trying anything, by you know, by letting your fear control you,
34:02
Speaker 1: you know. And yes, it's all easier said than done.
34:07
Speaker 1: And just me on a podcast, just saying shit doesn't
34:10
Speaker 1: mean anything, right, but when you actually go, look, I'm
34:14
Speaker 1: real scared, but I'm going to have a go great
34:18
Speaker 1: like that now you've conquered some fear and that now
34:22
Speaker 1: you've been courageous, and you might fuck up, you might
34:24
Speaker 1: fall down, you might win, you might learn something. It
34:26
Speaker 1: could be a disaster, it could be good, it could
34:29
Speaker 1: be somewhere in the middle. It could be a bit
34:30
Speaker 1: of both. But you're probably not going to die. You're
34:33
Speaker 1: probably going to learn something. You're probably going to develop
34:35
Speaker 1: a better resilience and a bit of insight, and then
34:38
Speaker 1: you do better, Like when from the first time you
34:42
Speaker 1: put on gloves to the best moment of your life
34:45
Speaker 1: as a boxer was just like a long journey and
34:50
Speaker 1: you start off with no skill, no confidence, no awareness,
34:53
Speaker 1: no ring craft, no knowledge, no science, no fucking anything.
34:58
Speaker 1: But nobody's ever started boxing career with twelve fights under
35:02
Speaker 1: their belt. Nobody's ever started nobody's ever got into the
35:06
Speaker 1: ring for the first time and been good. Yeah, like
35:11
Speaker 1: this is literally where you start. You start being bad,
35:13
Speaker 1: you start being inept, you start being unqualified, you start
35:17
Speaker 1: being unskilled, you start being scared. Like that's the starting points,
35:23
Speaker 1: but you know, we can't move to like for people
35:27
Speaker 1: who want mastery, well, fuck, mastery comes with miles and
35:32
Speaker 1: lots and lots, and you want to be a master
35:34
Speaker 1: at something. You want to be better than not anyone
35:37
Speaker 1: else necessarily but maybe, but you want to be way
35:40
Speaker 1: better than your current level in whatever it is. Will
35:43
Speaker 1: then just keep working, Just keep working and stop looking
35:47
Speaker 1: for the magic pill you know, and go where you grow.
35:52
Speaker 1: I know it's cheesy, but all right, Well, I feel
35:55
Speaker 1: like you better have your chicken breast. I really hope
35:59
Speaker 1: you don't choke. I feel super bad if you do
36:02
Speaker 1: so after you've consumed that, if you could send me
36:04
Speaker 1: a text say it's actually calm down, well, just make sure,
36:10
Speaker 1: really make sure you chew well tonight, could you?
36:13
Speaker 2: I we'll do.
36:14
Speaker 1: I feel like I feel like your mum and dad
36:17
Speaker 1: might be mad at me for a very long time
36:20
Speaker 1: if I prophetically kind of announce your demise via a
36:24
Speaker 1: chicken breast. What happened to Tiff? Well, you hear what
36:30
Speaker 1: Harp said. You put the on her? Yeah yeah, yeah,
36:35
Speaker 1: yeah she was chewing but ended up there was a
36:37
Speaker 1: bone in there, and stop it. You'll be fine. You'll
36:42
Speaker 1: be fine. Maybe just have some McNuggets instead, just to
36:46
Speaker 1: be safe.
36:47
Speaker 2: I don't know what's worse.
36:50
Speaker 1: Al TIF, thank you, Thanks everyone,