Latest / Just Be True ~ A Soul-Led Podcast / She Didn’t Choose the Journey—The Journey Chose Her

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She Didn’t Choose the Journey—The Journey Chose Her · Just Be True ~ A Soul-Led Podcast

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Through her personal journey and professional
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work, Barb helps others recognize the hidden
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patterns trauma can create, reclaiming their
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inner strength and moving from survival into
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genuine healing and transformation. Her story
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reminds us that sometimes we don't get to choose
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the journey. The journey chooses us. And even
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its most unexpected turns could carry meaning,
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healing, and purpose. Hey, welcome back to Just
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Be True A Soul -Led Podcast. Before we dive in,
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if you're new here, go ahead and hit subscribe
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so you don't miss future episodes, and drop a
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like if you're excited for this one. Also, if
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anything in today's episode resonates, and you
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want to talk it through with Summer directly,
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there's a Let's Talk link in the show notes to
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schedule a free discovery call. Alright, let's
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get into it! Hello, welcome back to Just Be True,
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a soul -led podcast. I'm so excited you're here.
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Barb, thank you for joining us today. I was lovely
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to have you here with us. Well, thank you for
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having me. I was looking forward to it. Yeah,
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absolutely. So let's start out with the question
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that many people may be asking is like, you know,
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how can we just be true to who we are? What I
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find out through my life and working with many
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other people is that we need to kind of get back
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to the roots we need to restore to who we supposed
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to be because we since we are little we start
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lying ourselves to survive we start suppressing
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who we really are and we start believing that
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we are not allowed to be through ourselves and
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it's starting really since we are little and
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since we are giving dummy when we are giving
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the dummy which is pacifier actually we just
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told like do not be yourself don't don't show
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your true colors don't tell me that you are hungry
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don't tell me that you are angry just hold it
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all in and start pretending to be that kind of
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person i want i want you to be not who you really
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are and what's happened in that time is that
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we really start suppressing we start physically
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and emotionally and energetically suppressing
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who you really are. And we start living life
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in pretension of like, okay, I will survive this,
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but it's not who I really am. Right. And like
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we end up we end up getting like trained, I guess
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are molded to please other people because to
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appease them and to be like what they want us
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to be versus who we are naturally. Yeah, and
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we can show it in all different type of things
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that people really adapt to be and a people pleaser
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since try to adapt or those who just start what
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I can What I call like fake resilience. They
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just keep going they pretending that are okay
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You don't see anything wrong with them on the
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surface, but they just really holding that mask
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on or to those who are on the other polarity
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and who will start fighting back and he will
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be angry and he will be aggressive they don't
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really know where it's coming from but they just
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they just feel that need and that emotions keep
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going out from them that um they just trying
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also get out of that almost like prison of pretending
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who they're supposed to be and so when people
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find that you know they're ready to move out
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of those expectations that others have put on
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them on how they should behave and move into
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who they are to be like what seems to be like
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some of the biggest challenges that You know
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they have and then how can we or how can they
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like break those? Oh Whatever is keeping them,
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you know from being who they are like breaking
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those habits and stepping into What they are
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right and who they are So biggest challenge is
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actually willingness to recognize and take that
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first step and recognize not just what happened
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to us but how we start reacting to it. Because
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the thing which happened to us in those children
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and which we can call trauma are not what happened
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to us but how we react to it. And it's why actually
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these harnesses of ourselves we put on ourselves
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have people who think that like my life wasn't
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really traumatic but they would maybe their parents
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were overprotective or have high expectations
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and just want to do their best for their children
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or you know they cannot take this is the life
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um it could be poverty it could be um parents
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be ill children of the divorced parents people
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who moving often and all very wide range of things
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but what happened is that they start They really
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need to be brave to look back and realize, OK,
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this is what happened to me. But how I react
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to it? Like, I adopted which way? I adopted that
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I am not speaking up. I adopted that I don't
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feel worthy. I adopted that I'm avoiding relationships
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or I'm afraid of expressing myself. And when
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they do that, they can get to the point of awareness.
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And let's allow them. to release it because their
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mind actually looking for the way how to get
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it out and it's really literally take off that
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limitation I always describe it for people it's
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almost like you you put yourself straight jacket
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yourself you wrap yourself you know with so many
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harnesses and that and you just trying holding
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yourself in because we are more than just body
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we are our energy now and We actually when when
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we do suppressing ourselves physically and energetically
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making ourselves smaller and When people do release
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it and they just like wow, I just become bigger.
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I just become myself I just know where my boundaries
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are then they can then they can really literally
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step in to their power back and Connection with
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the power they supposed to have and really change
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their life. So It's about taking that step to
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actually realize that what's happened to you
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in the past, it's not your identity. And be willing
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to look who you really are without that. Sometimes,
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I mean, I know for me that first step's the hardest.
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So what would you say to somebody who feels like...
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there needs to be a change right they're ready
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they're they're trying to convince themselves
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to take that step i would tell them that it's
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worthy because when you suppressing anything
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that you're suppressing this what we call negative
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emotions but there is no negative and positive
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emotions that is just emotions our mind have
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no difference of positivity or negativity between
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them so when you holding in so hard that anger
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and sadness and fear and all that and you are
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afraid what will happen if you let go you also
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hold in all your joy and happiness and motivation
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and excitement so if you allow yourself and be
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brave enough and take that one step and you start
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uncovering it and you allow yourself feel you
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will actually start feel happy and joyful and
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enjoying life not pretend that you're enjoying
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but actually enjoying and and have this what
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we call positive emotions and and you will realize
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that life wow life is different it's not the
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dark cloud it's a blue sky and yeah life is up
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and down emotions coming and going that's a lie
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but that it's more instead of being tsunami all
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the time and we try to hold that tsunami inside
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it's become just the wave on the pond you know
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which sun reflecting on And it's become calm
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and serene. And we just can enjoy what we're
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doing and who we are. Right. I mean, like, and
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sometimes it takes, I mean, I don't know, like,
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you think like, maybe it takes practice to be
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able to be in that state. I find out that actually,
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when we do reconnect with what I calling our
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five pillars of self we are born with, when you
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put them back to the balance, It will stay that
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it will actually be self -function as we supposed
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to so we are born with the five function of the
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mind which we all have and They are inner strengths
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self -love intuition wisdom and purpose and When
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we are little and we start suppressing our inner
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strengths because we are told do not be angry
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Do not cry do not you know show all that and
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we start lowering ourselves smothering ourselves
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then our self -love, it's not working because
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we're not nurturing the decision -making, what
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I like, what I don't like, we're not allowing
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ourselves to feel that and say that. Our intuition
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is kind of off because intuition needs us to
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be connected and be in that inner strength so
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we can trust the right decisions. Our wisdom
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is not working because we are not able to reflect
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on what is really happening because we just survive
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it. We could have enormous knowledge but we are
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not changing it to what is work for us. And then
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we are not living our purpose because we don't
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know it, because we don't dare to live it or
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because we are trying but we are failing because
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the other things are not in balance. But when
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we actually take that hardness on, when we restore
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it, and we find who we are and we start working,
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are all five parts, start working in balance.
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It's not about practice, it's about learning
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to live in different way. And it's become actually
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very easy because there is not that undergoing
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amount of emotions which trying to always blow
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up as volcano. we done doesn't have to hold anything
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in they are they're just not there anymore and
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we can actually focus just on be here and now
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and emotions otherwise at 10 seconds and then
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we can choose what we how we want to react i
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love the fight so there's so many things there
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that you said that really resonated and that
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and that um i just absolutely love um but i think
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we're gonna hit on like the last one first so
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Because when you mentioned like, you know when
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you can get into that space it quietens the mind
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and you're not always Having all of these like
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radical thoughts going around and so a train
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is passing I Love that train, but anyway And
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so there's you know, it's like you find these
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individuals that they are kind of like all over
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the place You know, they're worried about their
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future. They're worried about the past and they're
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worried about the future in the past and They're
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not living in the now Mm -hmm. Absolutely You
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know, and so when you can get to the space of
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living in the now, I Mean it I don't know it
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kind of like it kind of it quietens the mind
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You know absolutely and I always remind people
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about and the The past is the history, future
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is the mystery, and now it's called present.
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It's why we're calling it present, because when
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we're living in the past, we are not coping,
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we are not dealing with the present time, we're
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living from the past. it's shaping our presence
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in the way we don't want to because we're not
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actually really making decisions for now. We're
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still making decisions from that past fears,
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past beliefs, past experiences, emotions. If
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we keep kind of, okay, I will put my power of
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the will and I will kind of live in the future,
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which could be in the way of worrying and catastrophizing
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about the future, or this like... really super
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focused on future goals and targets and your
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workaholism and you know like that. Again we
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are not in presence because we just looking what
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will be but that's very often we realizing we
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not taking step to it or the steps not leading
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to it because we are not grounded we not really
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reacting on properly on what's happening now
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where we are with who we are how we think how
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we believe and we still not resolve that past,
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we still don't react from that past but we're
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just ignoring it and we're almost saying like
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that's my character, that's my identity, which
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is not. And that's really stopping us from that.
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And very often we can see people who are, as
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you said, all over and they're just worrying
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about everything. And I would say people like
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you can use that and it's actually a very useful
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thing. if we can channel it the right way. Because
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we all have the ability to find out all these
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possible things which could happen. That's an
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amazing tool, for example, when you are a detective,
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when you are an air control, air flow controller,
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if you are an event manager and stuff like that.
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You can actually use that capability to use it
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usually but if you apply it just to your life
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and you and you overthinking everything it just
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means that you are not here you are not grounded
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you just right living in that possible dramas
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which which can come on and yes mind will always
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focus more on drama than positive things because
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trying to prevent something that happened trying
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to survive And we almost stop seeing that positive
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future because that's not important. If it's
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positive, we keep going. That's fine, is it?
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But if it's negative, you need to do something
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with that. So being in that present moment, it's
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really changing how we are. And we actually can
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find out who we really are. And many people,
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when they get to that present moment and you
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ask them, OK, what do you like to eat? They would
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say, I don't know. What do you like to wear?
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I don't know. who you want to be, I don't know,
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because they really created all their identity
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or the behaviors, habits around that, that responses
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on the past instead of who they really are. Right.
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Right. That's it. Yes. I'm going to tell you,
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like, I remember, I remember before I came into
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this, The state that I'm in now right like the
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the energy in the state that I'm in now like
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I was always thinking about what if what if what
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if And oh my god, what happened? Oh my you know,
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what happened what happened like I was always
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in one or the other and it took a lot of um Mindful
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moments to be able to be in the present Right?
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And just constantly be able to be here. But what
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it does though, it calms. I mean, like, it's
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just like, okay, I'm here and now and whatever
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and like, whatever's happening, you know, being
16:11
able to be an observer was happening versus like
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be emotionally, like drowned, drowning in what's
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happening, right? Like if there's something,
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you know, Not so pleasant going on that we observe
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it and like if we're if we get into it emotionally
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you can like You know really upset us emotionally,
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but if we become the observer of that we can
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see it from all different angles Can you be able
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to go through it calmly? Yeah, well, I just want
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to tell people that it's a goal of recovery should
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be in it We are here and now that we can look
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on our life back and it will not disappear We
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will not forgot and we will not forget. We will
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not forgive. It doesn't need to be We will stop
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living in it so instead of looking back and always
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feel the emotion we have there and feel like
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we are back there and and you know like stepping
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as the you become the player in that movie you're
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looking at we start looking on that like library
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of DVD and we can just look at that and from
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outside and see us in it like yeah it did happen
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I was there and I make this decision and why
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I made this decision and often we regret this
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decision or we agree their decisions and that's
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very important that people sometimes as you said
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are unwilling to change because sometimes came
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to that moment and they don't understand what
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is happening to them they start working on themselves
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and they start releasing it and they start you
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know trying to be present and then they are hit
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kind of almost with this sadness with this feeling
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like Wow, like now I am what, 45, 50 or 70, you
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know, and I waste my life. I, you know, how much
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it took from me and what all these relationship
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I end up, all these opportunities I gave up,
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all these unhealthy coping mechanisms, like,
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you know, I maybe use alcohol, drugs or sex or,
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you know, games or, or escaping and moving or,
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you know, whatever it was that survival. And
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they are almost hit with that, with that realization
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how much it took from them. And they are not
18:19
ready for it. And it's very not speak about that
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there is that step, the third step of recovery,
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it's regret and grieving. And we need to go through
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that grieving process and accept it and going
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through that motions, be angry about that and
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be, you know... We stop being in denial and actually
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process it to get to that point of acceptance.
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Of that acceptance that, yes, it was my life.
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I can be, you know, kind of unhappy that it was
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how it was, you know, but I'm not pretending
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anymore, but also I'm not emotionally in it anymore.
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in that state of acceptance. I am here and now
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and I can be true to who I am. I can actually
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realize, okay, now I am what me, 51, living in
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Scotland with my husband, you know, son in uni.
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I am here doing my things. Anyone can look back
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on my life and there was like catastrophic moments
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in my life, but anymore don't look at them. and
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be emotional, be, you know, be drowned by them,
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be depressed about them, or be teared up about
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them. Because it's past and now I'm here and
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deciding now. And that's leading to that fourth
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step, which I think that is amazing and people
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really enjoying it and which I call rediscovery.
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When you can really find that through you, that
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who you really are without that, because there
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are amazing discoveries, people finding you know
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who they really are their talents their skills
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with everything they learn but you know be able
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to apply it and they they often sometimes radically
20:04
changing their lives sometimes in small ways
20:07
but always changing their lives to better and
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really become happy and purposeful and content
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and it's not stopping them from wanting more
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and be achieving and they are actually content
20:20
with where they are. They can enjoy the moment,
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they can enjoy... many of others without criticism
20:27
without that inner dialogue running in them be
20:30
good listeners be emotional available so the
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relationship change their partnership their relationship
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with children or colleagues or you know all relationship
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will change because when we are true when we
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are here and now we stop to be as the soldier
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in camouflage We're living with that camouflage
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and people cannot really connect with us. We
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want that We so desperately want to be connected,
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but we're not actually knowing who we are So
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we feel dangerous for others and they would like
21:05
who you really are. I don't see you over that
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Right, I'm a flash you're putting on right. Yes
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to fit in to be accepted to whatever so if someone
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It's very interesting because one of those five
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things that our mind brings in and many of us
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I think the majority of us struggle with is that
21:30
self -love and It's that unconditional self -love
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we put so much pressure on ourselves and so much
21:37
judgment on ourselves And I mean just like walking
21:41
out the door I guarantee you nobody really cares
21:43
what you what you have on or what you look like
21:45
and if they do that's Really on them not on who
21:49
you are. And so how would you How would you help
21:55
someone be able to identify One the power of
22:00
self -love and then being able to bring it into
22:03
their own essence and really own it and and have
22:06
it in their day -to -day existence So, uh, I
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believe that self -love is really our part and
22:15
we just didn't allow it to speak up and we we
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suppress it and self -office at par which telling
22:21
us what is good for us it's that thing which
22:24
saying this is good for you this is not what
22:26
what you should eat what you how you should sleep
22:28
what what you should do and you like it or not
22:31
and what is good for you and we have that kind
22:35
of sound in ourselves to telling us but until
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we believe that we have the right To take care
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of us when we when we restore that inner strength
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when we when we step in our power Then we start
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belief like yes, I can listen to myself. I have
22:52
the right to be happy I have the right to take
22:54
care of myself So what I tell people is that
22:56
I have kind of like little exercise for people
22:58
and start asking them write down 121 things you
23:03
like about yourself like how many like about?
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121, like three digits. One, two, one. Oh, wow.
23:14
Okay, that's a lot of things. It is. And it's
23:20
coming from, I call it diamond. And it's because
23:22
there is a new diamond cut created some decade
23:27
ago in Amsterdam. And it's going gas on one to
23:31
one. And I was so lucky. And one day I was actually
23:35
able to speak with that amazing cutter. person
23:40
who created that new diamond cut after hundreds
23:43
of years of, you know, the same. And the what
23:47
we call the brilliant have 52. And I asked him
23:51
why he even like do that, like why he created
23:54
the diamond cut, which is 121. So it's really
23:57
glittering when the lights going on that all
24:00
the reflections. And he said, because there is
24:03
always more beauty to find. Oh, oh. And that's
24:13
that just hit me and I just really took it as
24:15
motto for finding the self -love or nurturing
24:18
the self -love because Yeah, when we when we
24:22
living in that survival mode, of course We're
24:24
not choosing and we are looking ourself in positive
24:27
way and we not appreciate ourselves because we
24:29
just surviving We just trying to survive, you
24:31
know choosing we grabbing but in a moment when
24:34
we step out back to our back to our power and
24:37
and we realize like here I am now I can start
24:40
looking what I like about myself the color of
24:43
my eyes I can like the shape of my eyebrows I
24:45
can like how I'm able something or what I like
24:50
to do you know and maybe something different
24:52
that it was before or realizing that oh my goodness
24:56
I always believe that I love gardening until
25:00
I realize that I like gardening if I can do it
25:04
with somebody because it was actually not about
25:07
gardening itself, for me it was about being with
25:11
my family and doing it together. So it's about
25:15
that we start really looking on virtues about
25:19
who you want to be, like what character, like
25:23
do you want to be generous, do you want to be
25:25
tempest, would you even start looking what the
25:27
virtues are, you know. As the Benjamin Franklin,
25:30
the great method is like choose the 13 of them
25:35
and every week focus on one and do one thing
25:37
towards that virtue and start really thinking
25:40
who you really want to be. So that kind of challenge
25:44
of 121 things you like about yourself and you
25:47
like to do and you like to be. it's really about
25:50
making people think that we are not just how
25:53
we look like and also we need to kind of start
25:57
loving ourselves who we are as a body and start
26:00
appreciating our body but also all our skills
26:05
and our abilities. How would other maybe see
26:09
us and what they appreciate about us and we want
26:11
to be as the people To to nurture that self -love
26:15
because the self -love is really about the choosing
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I like it I don't like it and we supposed to
26:20
learn it as the children in that age up to seven
26:23
It's very much the children like me. I like it.
26:26
Oh, I don't want it. I will not eat it. But that's
26:29
actually their self -love speaking. And we make
26:32
them so much to suppress it. We make them like,
26:35
you don't have the right to choose. You don't
26:37
have the right to choose your clothes. You don't
26:39
have the right to choose your food. You don't
26:41
have the right. You are not allowed to choose.
26:44
So their self -love just like standing there
26:46
in the corner just like, oh, you don't want to
26:49
listen to me. So we need to give it space. and
26:54
for some people i do kind of little exercise
26:56
with them that they go in and they are their
26:59
step love to self love to step out of them and
27:02
have the dialogue with with that self -love and
27:05
you would be surprised if it You know a different
27:08
way people see as their self -love It could be
27:11
a form of mother about the different one, you
27:14
know mother in finger It could be divine, you
27:17
know angel it could be little girl which you
27:21
know telling them I like this I like that, you
27:23
know, it could be animal, you know, I have the
27:26
people his self -love is panda, you know Enjoying
27:30
to become and you know living you know easy life
27:34
so It's really about to start listening to that
27:38
part and allow that and then it's easy because
27:43
then we start feeling it when our intuition starts
27:46
working right and we just have these slight nudges
27:50
and we start feeling like, oh this is good for
27:51
me and this is not. This is good for me, this
27:53
is not. This person is good for me and this is
27:55
not. And it's becoming a natural part of us because
27:58
it is a natural part of us. We just need to restore
28:01
it back where it belongs. Right. And I mean,
28:06
I mean, that's beautiful. And I mean, it can
28:12
be a lot easier said than done in many cases.
28:16
And so just getting there is the first step,
28:19
like taking the first step to get there. And
28:20
so it doesn't matter if you can only name one
28:24
thing or if you can go and name your hundred
28:26
and twenty one and even more like just start
28:28
the process. Right. Embrace that. Right. And
28:33
I mean, you can even love what some would consider
28:35
flaws because they're a part of you. Right. And
28:39
I think that that's kind of the definition is
28:45
it because somebody else making that is flaw
28:48
doesn't necessarily mean that it's a flaw. Right.
28:51
I think that we don't have the flaws. We are
28:53
who we are. And we just maybe not fulfill expectations
28:56
of the others. But, you know, everything where
29:01
we are, I would say weaker, we are, that's the
29:06
way of cooperation with somebody else. What is
29:09
my weak point? It's somebody's strong point.
29:12
So that's a mean how we as puzzle fitting together
29:15
as community. If you are all good in everything,
29:17
then like why we would co -exist, is it like
29:20
that? Right, yeah, we need those balances, right?
29:24
So we can all help one another and be a community
29:27
together. and support one another in the different
29:31
ways that's needed, right? Yeah. So actually,
29:34
when we start looking on that, like, oh, this
29:36
is my floor, this is my weakness. That's like,
29:39
I always tell people, no, that's amazing. No,
29:41
now you can just find people who fulfill that.
29:44
That can do that. And you have immediately collections.
29:47
Yeah, because if you could do it all, then you
29:49
wouldn't need those relationships. I mean, you
29:51
may find that as an excuse to not have relationships
29:53
in your life that would probably benefit you.
29:57
I mean, that's very wise design, right? Well,
29:59
you can't build a house. So we're going to create
30:02
these people who can. So you have to have a relationship
30:05
with them to build your home, right? I mean,
30:09
that's just one example. But like, there's millions
30:11
out there, right? So, no, absolutely not. That
30:15
it's why society originally function and still
30:19
kind of returning to the barter. Is it like it's
30:22
it's how we are designed. And it's it's leading
30:24
to that. fifth pillar, which is purpose. Yeah.
30:29
And maybe have slightly different definition
30:32
of purpose than other people. But how I understand
30:35
purpose is, it's what we doing, which we feel
30:40
satisfied inside without expecting others people,
30:47
you know, like gratitude, but it does have positive
30:50
impact on our community. And it can be anything
30:54
and people have sometimes always has to be something
30:56
big No farmers if they you know, if it's their
30:59
purpose they living it out. My husband armor
31:02
his life is purpose is be farmer He just doing
31:05
it not expecting even get paid which I would
31:09
prefer if he will get a little more but you know
31:13
was he he feel like that that you know fulfilling
31:16
his you know he growing done and most other people
31:18
have their foot on the table it can be actually
31:21
for example bin man which can be crazy imagination
31:24
but it's not i know people who actually enjoying
31:27
to be bin man and it's very purposeful job and
31:30
it's fitting uh their things they know why they're
31:33
doing it because to keep the community clean.
31:37
It can be nurses, bakers, teachers. It can be
31:40
anything, but also artists and actors. Because
31:43
we also need entertainment. We need to be influenced
31:47
by music. We need to be influenced by art and
31:50
express. So it's not one thing is purposeful,
31:55
other is not. When it satisfies you inside, When
31:59
it's bringing positivity to your community, your
32:02
family, your wider community, your work, communities,
32:05
all types, then it's fine. And it's going to
32:08
be anything. So sometimes people feel like, oh,
32:12
what I'm doing, it's not so important. No, if
32:14
it's everything is important, like every spoke
32:17
on the wheel is important to make that wheel
32:19
go around. So it's the same thing like every
32:22
role, every purpose. I mean, all of this important.
32:26
There's not one that's any greater than the other,
32:28
because you need one to make the other to happen,
32:31
right? To keep it going. So absolutely. I used
32:35
to have to remind myself that when I was younger
32:38
and, you know, like just, you know, standing
32:42
behind the cash register, you know, ringing out
32:44
groceries, I'm like, well, this is important
32:46
because they need their groceries. I would have
32:49
to remind myself of that, but even back then,
32:53
that was like in my early 20s, even back then,
32:55
I realized that it was important. So, I mean,
32:59
there's no role that's, all purposes are needed
33:03
for whatever needs to make happen happen. I mean,
33:08
so it's important. Thank you for that. I would,
33:11
Barbara, I would like to open up and just kind
33:14
of like... If there was one message that you
33:17
need to give to the community here, what would
33:21
be that one message for them to take home with
33:24
them and really sit with and resonate with? People
33:31
are not broken. They adapted to survive. So you
33:34
are not broken. You just adapted to survive.
33:38
And that adaptation is actually your biggest
33:41
strength. Is it proof, it's evidence that you
33:44
are able to adapt? That's also mean that you
33:47
are able to change your life and adapt to the
33:49
life you want. That's beautiful. That was so
33:55
simple. That was so beautiful. And oh, gosh.
34:00
Yes, I mean, it's absolutely right. We have adapted
34:04
for our own. you know safety like to make us
34:09
feel safe or to make us feel accepted or are
34:11
for whatever like we had those reasons you know
34:15
for that and yes you're yes so so take the agency
34:22
i telling people like take the agency back you
34:25
know it was your subconscious mind which protect
34:29
you so same way you can change it you can take
34:33
the agency and change it to the way you want
34:35
to again, adapt again, adapt again to situation
34:39
you are now, but you need to first realize where
34:41
you are, like what, how did you get there, what
34:43
adaptation you put in place. And you can change
34:47
them. You can you can reprogram yourself You
34:49
can let that emotions go you and it doesn't have
34:52
to really take the long time Which tools you
34:55
know what I'm using or many people, you know,
34:57
you can actually gather quite quickly, you know
34:59
I work with people usually not more than three
35:01
months or even I'm doing the retreat which is
35:04
just five days and we be going through very deep
35:07
dive And in five days you can shift it really
35:10
like that identity shift. So It's it's about
35:13
that it's about taking the steps and actually
35:18
take that agency back and get to that resolution
35:21
that I created, which is sometimes hard to accept,
35:25
but you created the situation you are in, so
35:28
you can change it. So stop blaming yourself,
35:31
I created as the negative thing, I created, so
35:34
that's great, I can change it. No, that's wonderful.
35:39
Yeah, I'm like working with people and getting
35:41
them to those phases is important, right? I mean
35:44
and it truly changes Who they are how they see
35:47
life and how other people are gonna see them
35:48
too. Like it's gonna change everything around
35:51
them. I Think absolutely for the better. It's
35:55
no thinking about it's like knowing for the better
35:57
like I know I'm a much better Human being that
36:01
I've gone through all that work right and so
36:04
and like it I mean, I work with people also,
36:07
and the first thing we do is deal with those
36:10
underlying issues that are sitting there, right,
36:12
that we may have been ignoring and all that.
36:14
And so people think they're coming into like
36:17
this, the spiritual is like I do spiritual mentoring.
36:21
But the first thing we're going to do is we're
36:22
going to get to the stuff you've been ignoring
36:24
your whole life. Yeah. You know, because they
36:27
think it's going to be easy. Oh, it's spiritual.
36:29
It's easy. It's woo woo. It's going to be great.
36:32
It's like, no, we got work to do. You better
36:35
be ready to face those those burdens that you've
36:38
hidden you better be ready to face those emotions
36:40
that you've ignored and you better be ready to
36:44
Strip it all away and step into you Yeah But
36:48
it is why I call my method the ascendance method
36:51
because it's really about elevation. It's about
36:54
Your everything in your life will just get on
36:57
the new higher level your health your mental
37:02
state your success your relationships everything
37:07
is just energy everything is just going up and
37:11
up and if you want to be spiritual you know you
37:15
actually need to because if you want to work
37:19
on spiritual levels and you are not you are open
37:22
to danger there are people who work in like spiritual
37:27
levels and they get very hurt by that because
37:30
if all these five things are not in balance if
37:33
their boundaries are not in place if they are
37:36
not able to control it properly they can let
37:41
in things which are not good for them and they
37:44
can end up in the symptoms of mental illnesses
37:47
so yeah we all have the desire going on that
37:52
pyramid higher and elevate and and go spiritually
37:56
higher and feel better. But for that, the foundation
38:01
needs to be restored. We need to step on that
38:04
pyramid. And for that, sometimes we need to go
38:07
first to that step of realizing, recognize, release,
38:11
regret, and then, yeah, off you go. Go as high
38:15
as you want. Yeah, because a house, I mean, a
38:17
house is only going to be as strong as its foundation.
38:22
Right? I mean, a high rise is only going to be
38:24
as strong as its foundation. Right. So you have
38:27
to have that first. That's the first thing they
38:29
lay down when they start building anything is
38:31
that foundation. That's the first thing we need
38:33
to work on. I love that. So I'm definitely going
38:37
to have things in the show notes, but can you
38:39
tell the audience how they can work with you
38:42
if they're interested in reaching out and learning
38:44
more about you? So easiest way is go on my website,
38:48
which is your dash steps. I'm working for people
38:54
from all around the world, so don't worry. Wherever
38:57
we are from, just reach out. There is the button.
39:01
Book the Calavity Call. It's free. We can discuss
39:04
where you are, what you want to achieve, what
39:06
it is. Or you can take the first step, which
39:09
is what I'm calling the Trauma Recovery Roadmap,
39:13
where we sit for two hours and we will discuss
39:16
really what happened to you, what do you start
39:19
building on it, you know what are symptoms now
39:23
in all aspects of your life from the body to
39:26
the relationship work and everything and from
39:30
there go further to to longer program steps of
39:35
ascendance or we can really change that we can
39:38
dive Dave and I do kind of like shifting events
39:41
it's like three to four hours really we going
39:44
to subconscious mind and we finding clearing
39:47
releasing and redefining and people feel like
39:52
lighter and more themselves and they will end
39:55
up true to be themselves in the end and get to
39:58
that point of ascendance and that's type of freedom
40:01
to be yourself. So your dash steps call UK and
40:05
you will find me there. Absolutely and it's amazing
40:08
with the world today and the technology that
40:11
we can connect internationally and not cost us
40:14
a fortune to do so. I don't know about you but
40:16
when I was growing up call on distance it was.
40:19
It was a lot of fun. I love that and I think
40:26
I found it especially for people who kind of
40:30
are on this journey of elevation. They can sometimes
40:34
feel lonely because they feel like I you know
40:37
I'm kind of higher. in some ways than others
40:41
and I don't stop kind of relating to others because
40:44
those who can keep in victim mode and in negativity
40:47
and hate we're gonna start feeling like we don't
40:49
want to connect with that people people really
40:52
so finding sometimes people locally can be hard
40:55
for people they could feel like I cannot relate
40:58
but there is so many people around and we can
41:03
now connect like this you know online that that
41:07
nobody needs to feel like that there is no help
41:09
or there is no where to reach there is always
41:12
somebody somewhere and and it's just about to
41:15
take that step and and reach out yeah and finding
41:19
those right finding those like -minded individuals
41:22
so you can connect and grow and build with one
41:24
another right i mean that's part of that whole
41:28
purpose yeah absolutely yeah yeah and yeah and
41:33
i would also say like those that are at the lower
41:35
vibrational levels that aren't quite where you
41:38
are sometimes you can be the light that they're
41:41
looking for you know so those so don't hide from
41:44
them but you know to be able to shine the light
41:47
on on the areas of their life or maybe they need
41:51
a little a little bit and absolutely i always
41:55
start reminding people that that is universal
41:58
law of physics which are applied to all of our
42:00
behaviors and that's the action and the reaction
42:03
because if you change you change your reactions
42:06
on around world you change a reaction on them
42:11
you change your actions you're taking so how
42:14
you're changing your actions their reactions
42:16
has to change that is like there's no possible
42:19
they will stay same so every every change you
42:22
make and it's only thing you can change is you
42:26
but if you change you you actually changing the
42:29
others in the way that they have to start acting
42:31
different way to you and this can show them you
42:35
can be role model you can be example that existing
42:38
something else can be example that I don't know
42:41
you don't have to live with pain you can get
42:44
out of pain or this example that you can achieve
42:46
more are you are not limited to expectation of
42:50
nothingness you know some people are almost like
42:53
limited that people don't believe in them so
42:57
it's really worth it to take that step because
43:01
you start seeing and finding these same -minded
43:05
people and more people higher and you feel more
43:08
related to them and you keep going to them because
43:11
it's really important to who's surrounding us.
43:14
It was of course a huge influence to us but even
43:18
if you push to your life one another person who
43:22
start believing in you and start support you
43:25
and start helping you to process that you will
43:29
start changing and then you will start seeing
43:31
more and more people like that and I have experienced
43:35
that sometimes when people come to me and we
43:38
speak about what happened to them and I'm very
43:41
honored when they admitted when they saw like
43:43
if you are first person I ever told this in my
43:46
life what happened to me as child, you know sometimes
43:51
very horror stories but you know that trust that
43:55
they and trust me with that they will admit themselves
43:59
and say our love would happen to them is that
44:02
shifting moment and we all need just that one
44:04
person who we will trust and who will help us
44:10
to to guide us and very important is that we
44:14
are all just guides we are not somebody better
44:17
or somebody higher. We just step ahead. We just
44:22
walk that path already. So we can help you to
44:27
follow and also take these steps. And if you
44:30
will overpass us, that's great. Go higher. Yeah,
44:34
go. Yeah, keep climbing, right? Yeah. Yeah. Amazing.
44:39
Thank you. I have loved this conversation and
44:42
I truly hope, I'm almost positive, you know,
44:46
the community here will love it as well. It was
44:48
absolutely beautiful. So thank you so much for
44:51
being here today. Thank you for having me. I
44:55
hope we can do it again soon. Absolutely. Hi
44:59
there. I'm Summer. I'm here to help you navigate
45:03
the journey of self -trust and finding your authentic
45:06
self. Every episode is a step toward knowing
45:10
yourself a little better. Thanks for spending
45:13
this time with me. If something in today's episode
45:18
landed, sit with it. You don't have to figure
45:21
it all out right now, just notice what's stirred.
45:25
Subscribe so you don't miss what's coming, and
45:28
share this episode with someone who needs to
45:30
hear it today. Until next time, remember, you
45:36
already know. This is how you learn to trust
45:40
it.