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Top 10 Life Hacks! · The Top 10 Podcast

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Three, two, one. The Top Ten Podcast. Welcome back to
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: another episode of the aforementioned Top Ten Podcast. Your host, Josh.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: And Chris. We're back with you with another Top Ten
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: list of just random shit, to be honest with you. Yeah,
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: the things that we, you know, things we don't know
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: how to do and stuff. You know, this was a
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: hard list. I struggle because some of them, especially if
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: you look up what people think are life hacks, it's
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: common sense. Apparently a different definition. Yeah. I was thinking
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: stuff like, oh, you didn't know that, and it made
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: my life easier. Like those kiddie juice bottles that you
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: can take the lid off and flip it over, and
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: you can reseal it. Yeah. Yeah, I did not know
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: that for a long time. Yeah, there's like little things.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Those little tips and tricks, we're going to expose them.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: I watched a lot of that guy on TikTok. What?
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: No way. Oh, that guy? Okay. That's a lot of like,
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: his were more like industrial garage type life hacks. Yeah.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: But some of them were pretty cool. I also have
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: a guy who, I wish I knew this before I
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: was in my 30s. Yeah, that guy too. He had
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: stomach cancer. Did he?
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: Real bad, but he made it through. Made a life
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: hack apparently and lived. Yeah. Here's a life hack. Don't
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: get cancer. Yeah, that's a good hack. A good one.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: I wish it was that easy. Could be. Huh? Could be.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: Maybe someday. If those dickheads knew that, you know, all
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: the cancer research you're telling me, all that money hasn't.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: You got to wonder. I do. You got to wonder.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: I think there's a cure, but there's too much money. Yep,
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: that's what I think, too. That's my big conspiracy. I
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: think they could do it. There's already a cure, but
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: they don't want to. They don't want to. That's a
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: lot of jobs lost and money gone. The only thing
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: that makes me question that there truly isn't, is the
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: amount of rich people that actually do die from cancer.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: That probably could afford to buy that if there really was.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: That's how they live so long. With it. Some of them.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: Some of them really go quick. Was it Steve Jobs?
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: That guy had cancer and died. I think it was
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: Steve Jobs. Yeah. Maybe they just say he had cancer.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: And he's got tons. Maybe they just say he had
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: cancer just to... Who knows? I mean, what's Steve Jobs
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: going to say? Nothing, because he's dead. You can't say anything.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: You can't say you didn't have it. Unless he comes
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: back to life. It is spooky season. I'm watching a
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: lot of zombie movies. No, that's not true. I've watched
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: one zombie movie, and it was awful. 1985's Return of
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: the Living Dead. Those are the best ones, dude. It
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: was awful in a good way. Yeah. It's one of
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: those you watch, you're like, Jesus. Fun, bad movies. Yeah. Whoa.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: Podcast idea. Fun, bad movies. That is a good one. Fun,
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: bad movies. Yeah. Write that down. Would that be considered
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: a fun, bad movie? I don't have a pen. We'll remember.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: We'll remember. I have a pen right here. Anyway, should
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: we do your mom's list? That's a thought I had
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: before we started recording. You know what? That's a great idea.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: Let's try that. Her number 10, and this got cut
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: off at the bottom. Sorry about that, Mom. While traveling,
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: place a birth ribbon. Jesus Christ, I can't read. While traveling,
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: place a bright ribbon or bright hair tie on your
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: bag so that you can see it when it's coming around.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: That is actually smart. Because I have a black bag
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: that looks like everybody else's. Well, they have luggage tags now.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: And I do have one, but still. It would be
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: cool to get like an airbrush done on it. So
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: you know. Like RVDs. I've seen people do that. That
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: actually is pretty cool. That's a good idea. Or you
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: can spray paint your bag. Yeah. That's what I mean. Yeah.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: Find the guy that did the murals downtown for a
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: painted bag. Like, hey, paint me a mural. Do something cool. Anyway.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: Number nine. If the gum is stuck on your hair,
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: use peanut butter to remove it. I've never had gum
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: in my hair. I haven't either. Sounds like a girl problem.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: It sounds counterproductive to me. To put your gum in
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: your hair? To put peanut butter on your gum. I
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: don't know. It just seems like it would make a
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: problem worse. Oh, I think just don't get peanut butter
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: or gum in your hair. Yeah, that's the biggest one.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: Just don't do it. Duh. Number eight, put ice cubes
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: in your dryer. Your shirts won't wrinkle. Is that real?
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: I've heard that. I've tried that. Yeah, some of these
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: that we say are going to be obvious problems. Oh, yeah.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: And some are going to be like, oh, I knew
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: that already. And some, hey, maybe you should try it.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: And if you do try any of these, comment. Yeah.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: Get back to us. Leave it in the mints. Put
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: them in the comms. Which one's better? The comms. Mints
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: sounds like lady problems. Like a mint. Oh. A mint
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: sounds like a lady problem? Like mintsies. Mint. Not minis.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: I know, but it sounds that way. A case of
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: the minis going on. Yeah. Number seven, use a post-it
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: note to slide between the keys on your keyboard to
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: keep it clean. Okay. Number six, take a picture of
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: the inside of your fridge before going grocery shopping. That's
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: actually a good idea. Damn, I like that. I mean...
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: I'll never remember to do it. No, I don't do that.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: But I need to know, like, dates of stuff in
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: the fridge. You ever go through your fridge and realize, like,
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: half the shit has been expired for a year? No,
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: every week for Garbage Day, I go to the fridge.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: I just went through mine last week. Number five, use
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: binder clips to keep computer cords untangled. That's smart. Four,
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: turn your seat warmer to keep pizza warm on the
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: drive home. Okay. Does that work? I don't know. I
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: just now got seat warmers. This is the first car
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: I've ever had seat warmers in. And I haven't turned
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: them on yet. You haven't needed to yet. Nope. Wish
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: I never did. Hope you never have to. Honestly. Number three,
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: put a wooden spoon across a boiling pot of water
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: to keep it from boiling over. That does work. I've
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: heard that. I've done that many times. It also gets
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: your spoon really hot. Yeah. Apparently, if you put olive
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: oil around the top, it'll keep it from boiling over, too.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: I haven't tried that. I haven't tried that either yet.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do that next time. You should put
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: that on your list. I should. Use binder clips to
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: fix broken keyboard feet. Oh, to keep the... Yeah. You
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: can tell she's an IT person. Number one, use hairspray
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: to get pen ink out of clothes. Use what? Hairspray. Okay.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: You know what? I'll take your word for it. From
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: the 80s. All right. Let's get into our lists. You
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: should start with number 10. Okay. You can use Google
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: Maps to travel back in time. Street View lets you
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: look at older images in many locations and see how
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: places used to look. I love that. Yep. I use
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: Google Maps all the time. Yeah, it's not good. No.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: It's really not good. Because then you realize, I don't
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: know where the fuck I'm going if your phone dies. Yeah.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: How did we used to get into Chicago to concerts
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: before we had Google Maps? We used, I don't know.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: Because I didn't print off directions either. We just left. Yeah.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: And made it there. Every time. Again, like MapQuest and stuff,
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: we never, didn't have that back then. No. How did
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: people get anywhere? Yeah. Did you find stuff? Did they
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: actually carry like those folding maps? I remember my dad
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: had the old Rand McNally. Yeah, the Rand McNally. Like,
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: that's crazy to me. Yeah. Nowadays, like, I put it
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: everywhere I'm going. Anywhere I'm going. Because it tells you
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: the quickest possible way. So if I'm taking the wrong
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: way home, I've been driving the wrong way everywhere, apparently.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: Because I have any Google Ads just to get home
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: from anywhere. Not all the time. Obviously, if there's, like,
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: places I know I'm going. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, yeah. Like,
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: it tells you construction stuff. Yeah, I like the construction.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: Or there's cops up ahead. Yeah. Like, oh, yeah. You
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: ever fuck with people and put there's a cup of
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: a head? Oh, yeah. Usually because I'm driving and I'm
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: trying not to mess with my phone while I'm driving. Yeah.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: Unless you have a touchscreen on your phone. You have
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: the Android Auto? We do, yeah. And it's right up there.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: So you can put it right there. Yeah. And I do. Yeah,
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: I love Google Maps. I play on Google Maps at
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: work all the time. I travel the world on Google Maps.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: Street view on Google Maps. You can look at older
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: images of a lot of different locations and see what
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: they used to look like. It's probably not all locations.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: And it would be cool. I want, I want like
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: old pictures of Clinton. Yeah. Like, yeah. Like, but it's probably,
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: you won't get old pictures. No, no, no. You'll get
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: as old as Google maps. Exactly. Yeah. The Google car.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: I want like, I want like mid eighties pictures of Clinton.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: I'm sure there's books that have a lot. I'm sure
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: there are. I should go to that. I think it
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: has all the books. I'm not sure what it's called.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: The libertarian. Your face is red as a strawberry. Gotcha. Anyway,
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: that's my number 10. Let's go with my number 10.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: Get rid of shit you don't need. Always. It's not
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: really a good hack. I'm telling you then, get rid
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: of that junk drawer. Oh, I try. I actually just
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: went through my junk drawer the other day. I got
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: rid of a whole bunch of crap, and it's still full.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: I'm married to a woman. How is it still as
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: full as it was? That has a problem keeping everything
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: and wanting to hold on to everything. A bit of
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: a hoarder, is she? Sometimes. Not a full blown. No, no, no.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: But she's on the verge. I try to go through
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: my closet and get rid of clothes I don't wear.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: I try to do it once a year. It's hard.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: I try to do that once a year. I need
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: to have a yard sale. I usually end up just
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: giving it to Goodwill. Well, I will after the yard sale. Yeah,
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: I need to have a yard sale next year. But
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: there's crap, even crap out here. I know I can
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: throw it out. Just join mine next year. Just pop
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: your shit in mine. We'll put different colors on it
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: or something. Yeah, we can do that. Let me know
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: when you're going to do it. You should do it
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: during the awful Citywide. Citywide. Yeah, we won't get into that. No.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: Number nine for me is store a pair of spare
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: sunglasses in your car so you're not stuck driving into
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: the sun without sunglasses. I mean, we've all forgotten shit. Yep.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: All of my sunglasses on the counter. Oh, never mind.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: I've got a pair of my cups. And that's a
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: great idea if you don't have prescription sunglasses. And I don't.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: I do. So I have to have the only pair
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: of sunglasses I can use. I hate it. I want
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: to get LASIK surgery to fix my eyes. I... I
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: really do. Yeah. Just so I can be like, I'm
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: done with... I can wear whatever sunglasses I want. Yeah,
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: it sucks to suck, dude. It does. It sucks to
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: get LASIK. And I watched the thing about LASIK. It looks...
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: It's terrifying. Oh, my God, yeah. You can't shut your eyes.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: You have to be awake. It's like, hey, look at
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: this thing coming at your eyeball. Yeah, and then I
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: watch what they do. I'm like, oh, no, I don't
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: want to do that anymore. That makes my eyes water.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: I wish I would have looked it up. Because I
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: have a thing with eyes. I can touch my eye.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: Fuck that, dude. I can put a contact. I can't
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: even touch. I can't even see people touch their eyes.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: It's so gross. But I got contacts. I didn't like
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: wearing them. Well, you have to give it time. I know.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: Context tape is a whatever. I just didn't care for it.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I'd rather just wear the glasses. But, yeah,
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: LASIK is something I, if my insurance will pay for it,
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: I think I want something I want to do. I
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: can get through it. It doesn't take that long. And
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: you're recovering not too bad. Yeah, no. A few hours,
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: isn't it? Yeah, they make you wear those. Like six hours, apparently?
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: That's D. Not long at all. DJ? No, D. Oh, D, yeah. Oh,
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: did you watch the new episode? Yeah. Oh, my God.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: That was fantastic. It got a little sappy. A little
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: too sappy for me. Did it at the end there? Yeah. But, yeah,
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: that was one of the funniest episodes in a long time. Well,
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: it's not spoiling. It's new. Yeah. Like, ooky-gooky. So gross. Anyway,
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: let's keep going on to this podcast. It's so good, though.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: You're number eight? Or did you just do it? I
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: did my number... Oh, the sunglasses one. Yeah, number nine.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: Or nine, yeah. My number nine is just stretching. Okay.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: The heck? I don't know. It has become one as
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: I got older. Stretch as often as you can. If
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: you're just bored, stand up and stretch. Reach down, touch
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: your toes, bend over. Hey, don't touch the front! Move things.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: Before you go to bed, stretch. It's amazing how much
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: better you'll feel in the morning. I don't remember to
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: do it all the time. But boy, when I do,
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: I feel better. I do it at work all the time.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: Because I sit so long, I have to get up
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: like every hour and just stretch. I'm constantly moving. Or
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: before I golf. I try to constantly move. I don't
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: like just sitting still. So I'm standing. Like I'm doing
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: right now. I'm really like pacing back and forth and
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: bending my legs and stuff. Yeah, I need to move more. Yep,
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: I just had a health assessment at work. Ooh, fun. Yeah,
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: to set your baseline. This is my baseline, so. I
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: automatically get the cheapest insurance possible. Sweet. It's fucking great.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: It's always good. Ours don't even give us an option.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: So next year, then, if I pass, I just keep...
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: Going cheaper? So I was told to just absolutely tank
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: this one. Oh, yeah, so you can keep getting it better? Yeah.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: Get it more better. Number eight. Photograph your parking spot. Yeah.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: I've done that. Landmarks in the background. That way you
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: don't have to, like, oh, shit. Are we A or B?
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: Where the fuck are we? And that only works for, like,
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: big areas. Like, you know. Well, nowadays, like, if you park, like,
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: on a side street, take a picture of the street
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: you're on. Yeah. So you know. They want to go
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: to a concert. We don't want to park in a...
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: Remember when we lost our car that one time? Oh, yeah.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: Up in Chicago. Oh, yeah. It took us a good
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: half hour to find it. Yeah. Because we couldn't remember. Oh,
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: it's probably this street. Looks like that. Also, don't trust
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: Matt to take you back to his house when you
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: were at a... At a... Where were we? I don't
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: remember where we were. Which one? Downtown Iowa City. Oh,
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: when we walked the scenic route. Yeah. I think all
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: we had to do was just turn around the other
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: way and we'd be like a block away. You know what, though?
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: That was fun. Yeah. You saw a car sale sign
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: in the river. Stole a couple, too. I mean, liberated them. Yeah,
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: we freed them. We freed them from them rich snobs.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: Those were nice houses. They were. I did that when
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: we went to Six Flags last year. Take a picture
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: of what spot we were in. Because that's a huge
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: part of that. A lot of times I'll just hit
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: the panic button or the lock button so I hear
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: a horn. But half the people are out there doing
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: that when you're leaving. That's a good one. My number eight.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: Get a pizzazz and use it for everything. You can
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: do cookies. You can do Biscuits, cinnamon rolls. Biscuits. Obviously pizza.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: Reworn pizza. Garlic bread. Garlic, yeah. Garlic bread is fantastic
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: on a pizzazz, by the way. Wings, you can, like,
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: reheat your leftovers. Great on a pizzazz. Doesn't rubber it
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: up like the microwave does. I like it. We have
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: one at work, and I use that thing for everything.
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: Then put down a sheet of tinfoil first. Okay. So
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: you don't dirty your pan up all the time. There
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: you go. Yeah. Siete. Slightly flatten your cardboard tube and
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: toilet paper roll. That way it'll make the roll harder
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: to spin freely. So your bastard kids won't unroll half
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: the fucking roll when they take a shit. I had
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: to yell at one of my kids the other day. Dude,
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: I hate so much. I'm like, I go in there
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: and poop, do my thing, I know how much exactly
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: is in there. Somebody else goes right after me and
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: I look and I'm like, Good God. What did you do?
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: No wonder we had fucking plumbing problems. Right? Yeah. So
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: if you slightly flatten, it won't just whip all that
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: toilet paper off the roll. Slightly flatten it, just like.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: I'm also one of those people that I'm very pro
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: over the top, not under. I don't know why it
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: bothers me. Between your balls? No, no, no, no. The
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: toilet paper. Oh, it don't matter. I want the toilet
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: paper to go. It does not matter. I do. I
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: want it this way. Why does it matter? I don't know.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: It spins the exact same. Apparently it's one of my corks.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: So you don't want a mullet? I don't want a mullet.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: I want bangs. Okay. Long emo bangs. It doesn't matter.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: But I went into the bathroom and hated two times
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: in a row. Every time she went in, she switched
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: the toilet paper on me and she thought it was hilarious.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: I'm like, do it again and you're pooping in the yard.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: I cannot believe that, but it bothers you. I don't
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: know why. You shouldn't have said that because we're all
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: going to fuck with you at any given moment. If
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: it's at somebody else's house, don't care. Oh, no. I'm
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: coming to your house. I'm fucking doing it again. We
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: have two bathrooms here. Yep. I'm doing it. Upstairs doesn't
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: even have a holder. They just set it on the counter.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: That's the kid's bathroom. Anyway. Yeah. We should do one
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: of these lists. I do. Here's number seven. Oh, do
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: I got my number seven still? Yeah. Yeah. Hey, are
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: you crying? And this one's also not. But put away
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: your clothes after they're clean. Don't let them sit in
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: the basket. Who doesn't? As soon as you bring... My kids.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: I bring it upstairs, put it in the basket. Like,
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: here you go. Put those away. And they sit in
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: the living room for like a week. And I'm like, Nope.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: As soon as that load is done, put it away.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: Don't even wait for the next load. Oh, see, I'm
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: an asshole. I would be like, I'd go in that
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: room and just like, Oh, I've done it. I need
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: this basket for what? Put my feet on. Don't worry
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: about it. Good. Oh yeah. Right on their bed. So
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: they can't get into bed at night. Yeah. But then,
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: you know, I know how I would be. I'd throw
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: them right on the floor. Or that, yeah. But yeah,
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: I just put them away. I find if you just
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: put that first basket away, there's only a couple things.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: Create a habit. Yeah, exactly. And that's kind of what
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: I'm getting at there. Just make it a habit. Makes
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: everything easier. Like a nun. Yep. Oh, I have a
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: list on my phone. I'll just do that. I'll do
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: this one. All right. Who do we have here? We
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: have Caleb. This should be fun. Yep. Where are you at, Caleb?
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: If you clog a toilet at a party, find the homeowner,
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: ask where the bathroom is, and when they come back
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: and say it's clogged, couldn't have been you in 15 seconds. Smart.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: That's brilliant. That's brilliant. I like that. That is brilliant.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: Be gay. It's cheaper. How is it cheaper? I don't know. Okay.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: Just maintenance for men and women. Okay. I don't know.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: Get two birds stoned at once. I like that. Never
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: trust a turtleneck. Agreed. Somebody that wears a turtleneck, you
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: can't trust it. There's somebody shady there. When traveling with
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: two people, act and tell everyone you're on your honeymoon. Hotels, airlines,
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: restaurants all want to help make it special for your
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: upgrades and free shit in your immediate future. It's pretty good, too.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: I like that. If someone is calling you you don't
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: really want to talk to, answer the phone, say your
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: phone's about to die, hang up when you've had enough. Yeah.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: Betting hack. Take the unders in the WNBA. What? I'm
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: pretty sure they're watching this game at Red Rocks. Okay.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: That's awesome. And it's raining. Anyway, I'm sorry. I missed
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: that one. Take the unders in the WNBA games as
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: a betting hack. Just bet the under. Okay. To get
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: into historical venues for free, have two people say you're
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: looking for a wedding venue. You'll get a free tour. Huh. Nice.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: Send wedding and graduation invitation to rich people you don't know,
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: and there's a chance their assistant will send a gift
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: without confirming they even know you. Oh, that's good. Make
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: it like a D-list though. Yeah, you can't go the
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: hot end. Like, hey, fucking Tom Cruise. Yeah, that's too big.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: You gotta go like Dave Coulier. We're buddies. Always betting hack.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: Always bet on a man and a woman's sport. What
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: about horses? I don't know. I don't know. That makes
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: me laugh. Yeah, that's good. Okay, I got a list
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: here from April. All right. Number 10. This is one
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: I think we can all relate to. Overthinking minds need
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: regular doses of unproductive, meaningless absurdity as a necessary counterbalance
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: to constant analysis. I can't believe I read all that normally.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: Silliness puts you out of self-monitoring and back into present experience,
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: and fun is not a distraction from personal growth. Nice.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: I agree. You've got to have time to just fuck off. Yeah,
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: fuck off. Fuck off! Number nine, never pass up an
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: opportunity to take a nap. You will regret it when
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: you are older. Yep. Eight, I always follow up an
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: unsolicited dick pic with seeing is the equivalent of my
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: cat bringing me dead bird as a gift. Okay. Okay. Seven. Scream.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: Scream pranking your kids is the most socially accepted way
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: to scream. Is this. Oh. Punctuation. You talk way too soon.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: Punctuation helps. Scream pranking your kids is the most socially
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: accepted way to scream. Oh, the most socially accepted way
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: to scream it all out. God dang. I made it
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: through this whole. Yeah. Thing. I can't do the simple one. Yeah.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: When getting pulled over by the police, just tell them
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: the body in the trunk is for medicinal purposes. Uh, no. Not, no. No. Nope. Five,
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: slinky plus escalator equals eternal fun. Okay, I'm going to
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: try that. Yeah. Four, if you have a flat tire
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: and you are gassy, sit on the, sit on the,
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: sit on it and let it rip. Yeah, that doesn't work.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: Fucking flat tires. Three, water guns are by far the
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: best wedding gift. If you're mad, you can pretend to
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: shoot them for real. If you're happy, you can shoot
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: them for real. Either way, it's a good time. Oh,
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: my God, yeah. Yep, that's pretty good. Okay, hold on.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: Your wife's pissed at you. So you shoot her with
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: a water gun? She's not going to be happy with you. No.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: At all. Now she's fucking wet, and so is shit
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: in the house. Yep. Oh, my God. You just made
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: everything so much worse. Now you're getting shot for real, right?
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: Number two, if you have to pee as a woman,
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: a ping pong ball works as an awesome course. Although
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: some women may need to use a baseball, a basketball
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: if you're awesome. Good God. Wow, April. It's going all out.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: I like it. Number one. This is from April, by
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: the way. If you don't have a cum rag, use
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: your wife's pillow. Ew. Damn. April. Ew. You're coming in hot.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: I don't know how to follow up on that. I
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: don't know. I think we should just end it. April 1.
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: Then we're done. Number six, actively, this is a hard
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: one for people because it's usually the first thing they do,
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: actively stay off your phone in the morning. It's so hard. Yep.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: When you get up, just do your shit. Don't even
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: look at your phone for at least a while. Yeah.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: I'm not sure how long. I'm trying to be better
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: at it. I'm bad at it. I'm trying real hard
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: to stay off my phone more and more. Yeah. Yeah.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: It is tough, though. Yep. There's just so much to consume.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: It's ridiculous. Yeah. So just, we did it before phones.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, I'll be like, we're sitting at home
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: and everybody's on their phone. I'll be like, I'm not
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: going to be on my phone. I'm just going to
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: watch TV, which is not any better. No. Get up
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: and do something. Yeah. I need to get up and
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: like do something productive. Go take a walk. Yeah. Don't
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: be on your phone. Play my guitar. Do something. Yeah.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: I agree. Yep. Just try to stay off your phone, people.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: And ironically, my next one is about using your phone.
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: take notes on your phone so you don't forget shit. Passwords, anything.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: Like if you're like, Oh, I don't want to forget this.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: Use a little post-it note on your phone. Put it
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: right on your home screen. You ever seen those? Yeah.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: Use it. I just use my note. You're going to
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: have it with you. Use it for, for stuff like that. Yeah.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: But like, Oh, as soon as I'm like, Oh, I
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: need to get this at the store next time. I
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: put it on my grocery list immediately. So I always,
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: cause if I don't, I will forget it. I just,
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: I am a rare Lister. Yeah. They all might, All
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: my passwords for everything. I just use the same password.
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: I mostly do too, but sometimes I'll be like, oh,
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: you use this one, you've got to use a different one,
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: so I have to change it. Yeah, so it's just
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: an exclamation point versus a question mark. Oh, yeah. But
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: I put them all in my, I have a sealed
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: folder that nobody can get into. It's where the porn is.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: Number five. It's a personal one. It's only for locals,
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: so if you're not even from here, this won't affect you.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: But when you're driving from Thompson to Clinton, and you're
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: going to take the North Bridge, before you get to
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: the four-way stop in Fulton, turn before that one down
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: the Hotel Dollar General front road there. You just gun it.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: Because there's assholes in front of you that are going
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: super slow. You can beat them while they get to
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: that light, and you can turn before them at Shell Station.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: I've done that many times. Oh, I do it every day.
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: Or a semi's ahead of you, like three cars up.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: I do it all the time. Yep. I like those
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: local ones. When you know your area. That's too cold
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: for that. Is that opening up? Is it too loud? Oh,
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: hang on. Hold on. Okay. Sorry about that. My interchange.
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: Is it mine? Yeah. Mine was five. You're on number five. Okay.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: No wasted trips. If you're sitting in the living room
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: and you decide you need to go to the kitchen
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: to get a snack, take some dishes with you. Yes.
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: Take some laundry with you. Do something. Every time you
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: take a trip somewhere. No idle hands. Yeah. If you've
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: got to run to the garage, take that shit that's
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: been sitting in your house that needs to go to
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: the garage. Take the garbage out. Take the garbage out.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: Take the laundry to the basement. Do just, yeah. Try
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: to not waste your trips, man. Yeah, man. Just little things.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: You'll be surprised at how quickly they help you. I
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: have a list from Mia. Let's hear it. When you were. Yeah.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: I don't know what to do here. Whoa. Okay. We'll
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: just read from top to bottom. I don't know. Yeah.
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: Always buy senior or student event tickets. They never check
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: and rarely have time to check anyway. That's true. If
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: you want to see a Broadway show on Broadway for
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: under 50 bucks, go to the box office at Of
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: the show, right when they open, they sell what hasn't
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: sold for super cheap. That's pretty good if you live
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: in New York. Use binarial beats and or tune your
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: musical creation to 402HZ instead of 440. Your song becomes
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: an earworm. Okay. When shaving, you can do your whole face, leg,
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: private space. Without ever lifting the razor, just go backwards
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: and it takes your hair out. And it takes your
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: hair out of the blade so it's fresh for the
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: next pass up your fangs, leg, or genitals. Okay. Wash
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: your hair once a month. No shampoo. Your hair will
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: thank you. Nope, just mess that one up. Nope, I do.
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: Every time I take a shower, I wash my hair.
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: The more water you drink, the better you will sing.
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: Memorize your skin is also tough. I do drink a
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: lot of water already. Want to be indispensable? Praise your boss.
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: I'm apologizing. I will not do that. Always look in
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: the third eye when you're dialoguing. They think you're good
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: at eye contact, but your focus is off. It throws people.
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: I like that. That's neat. When you are cat, call
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: the repeat exactly what they car called to them in
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: a creepy or hostile manner. I don't know what that
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: just said. Read that. I read it exactly how it's written.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: When you are cat, called repeat exactly what they car
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: called him in a creepy or hostile manner. I don't know, man. Yeah,
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: I don't. I don't fucking know. I don't understand that.
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: I don't know. It doesn't make a lick of sense. No.
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: What the fuck did that just say? I feel like
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: I'm going to have a hemorrhage in my brain. Yeah,
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: that one does not make sense. Anyway. Yep, that's it. Oh, okay. Oh,
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: I'll read Boeing Fowler. He's back again. He's back. Number 10.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: Keep aloe in the fridge to relieve sunburn faster. Absolutely.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: Aloe stays in the fridge all year long. Moni just
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: showed up. Yep. Hello. Number 9. Add electrolytes to your
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: water to elevate your hydration. Florida thing. Yeah. I assume. 8.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: Chill your beach cooler with frozen water bottles. Smart. Yep. Seven,
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: if your body is covered with sand, apply baby powder
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: and the sand will come right off. Then you're covered
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: in baby powder. I'd rather be covered in baby powder
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: than sand. That's true. Six, wear sunscreen. Hard agree. Five,
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: if all the outlets... are being used, plug into the TV.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: Plug into TV. Huh. Because it has a USB port. Okay.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: But what if it's a plug-in that needs to go
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: on the wall? Well, yeah.
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: I mean, I think that's most likely.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: Four, if you're reheating in the microwave, put a wet
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: paper towel over the top to keep food from drying out.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: I've heard that. Okay. And I never have tried it. Nope.
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: Put it on the pizzazz. That's right. Three. Take a matchstick,
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: lick it, and rub it on a splinter. They come
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: right out. No fucking way. There's no. What? No way.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: All right. All right. Hang on. Let's get a splinter
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: quick and see what happens. Dude, I hate splinters so much. Yeah,
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: they're the worst. Oh, I get so pissed. I have
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: to like, I try to suck it out first. Chew
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: it out. Oh yeah. It's like, Amy, help me. I
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: just let her carve into my finger. Uh, number two.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: And I agree with this. I need to get one,
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: but buy a generator. I probably should. Yeah. It's a
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: good thing to have. Does she live in like fucking
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: tornado alley? Yeah. Yeah. Number one, freeze grapes. Try it.
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: I agree with that too. Frozen grapes are delicious. Grapes
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: are already delicious. Freeze them. And then throw them in
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: your glass of wine. I've heard that instead of ice. Yeah,
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: use frozen grapes. Well, don't put ice in your wine. Oh, no. No,
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: throw frozen grapes in your wine. If it's a cold wine.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: And you already have grapes. Just liquid grapes. Yeah, that's
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying. That's why if you throw frozen ones
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: in there, then you get to eat grapes, too, while
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: you're drinking wine. It's win-win. Just don't drink wine. I don't.
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: Do you remember the watermelons when you would stick the
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: everclear in them? Oh, yeah. That was a terrible idea.
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: That takes, like, planning. Anytime you're using Everclear, it's a
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: bad idea. It's just use vodka. Yeah, there's a life hack.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: Don't drink Everclear. Ever. Oh my goodness. How do people
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: do that regularly? I don't know. It's just... That's like
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: nail polish. Yeah, it's horrible. It doesn't taste good. It
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: does not taste good at all, but I remember doing
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: jello shots with it. Oh yeah. But again, that's way
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: too much planning to get drunk. I'll just go buy
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: a bottle of booze and just get drunk that way. Well,
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: we were young and dumb. Yep. Yeah. Where are we at?
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Four. Put leftovers and other foods nearing
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: their expiration date in one designated spot in the fridge. Yep.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: That way, yeah. Yeah. You know, oh, second shelf, eye
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: level shelf is where I should eat first. Yeah. Before
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: you reach in and grab a new fucking thing. I
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: think keeping a well thought out fridge, like certain stuff
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: goes in certain spots is smart. I'm very picky with
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: how I pack a grocery cart. Yeah. I'm picky about, like,
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: loading a dishwasher, too. Oh, I'm real picky about that. Yeah,
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: bowls do not go on the bottom. Sometimes. If it's
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: a popcorn-sized bowl. If I have to make room, all
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: the cups and glasses go on top. So should bowls.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: The top? Yeah. Well, I can, but... Because when it
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: comes up, it blocks the water. It'll block the water.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: The plates should all be on the bottom. Oh, yeah,
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: but we very rarely ever use a plate that goes
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: in the dishwasher. It's all paper plates. Dang. I never
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: use it. We got freaking pH to wear, man. No. Why?
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: I do not know. Costco. Costco for paper plates, man.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: I love paper plates, too. Yeah. They're the best. Yep. Yeah,
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: that's good. Yep. My number four, always poop on company time. Yeah.
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: Fucking right. Paid for pooping. That's right. They pay you
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: a dime, so you poop on their time. That's right.
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: If you're like half hour from going to work and
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: you feel like you have to poop, hold that. Hold
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: that shit. Hold that till you get to work. Or
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: if you think you can make it till you get home, nope.
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: Go at work. Yeah. Oh, I can't. Go at work.
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: Don't try to make it home. No. Don't try. Overtime. Yeah. No.
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: You can pay overtime to take a shit. Don't try
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: to make it home. You punch out late because, you know. Well,
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: you don't want that. Oh, I can make it. And
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: then you're halfway home. I might not make this. There's
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: a gas station right there. Yeah. I should pull over,
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: but I think I can make it. I don't like
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: to take chances with my food. That's why it's always somewhere. Yep.
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: Last one. Okay. Two more. All right. Two more. What
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: do you want to catch up? I guess. Yeah. We're
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: at number. What was your number four? Four. So you
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: got to tend through. All right.
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: My number 10 was. Instead of Disney, go to the beach.
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: It's the real happiest place on Earth.
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no matter. You know what? Don't even go to
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: that place. Just go to a normal beach. Right, just
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: a beach. Yeah, just any beach. Any beach. Because beaches
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: are the greatest places on Earth. It is. I'm really
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: good at beach. You guys good at beach? That's not a... Ooh.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: Number nine. Don't buy cheap toilet paper. Agreed. Listen, Dan. Right?
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: Your parents. And that one ply, half ply. I believe
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: Sean described it as you're wiping with your imagination. Yeah.
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: It's like using the three shells. I will buy generic
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: at Costco because it's just as big. But it has
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: to have at least two ply. Well, it's fantastic. But no.
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: I take care of my butt. So I will buy
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: the most expensive toilet paper I can. And And baby wipes.
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: Dude wipes? Yeah. Baby wipes. Either way. Don't flush them.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: Don't flush them. You're going to have to deal with it.
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: Do not trust. You're going to be the one who
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: has to deal with it. Just rub them in the garbage. Yeah.
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: Those have changed the game. That's why we do it
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: to babies. Exactly. Exactly. If you walk in your house
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: with mud on your feet, do you use a dry
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: paper towel to clean that up? No, you get it wet. Yeah,
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: I definitely use a dry paper towel. And then I
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: just don't let them clean. Yeah, no, that's not going
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: to work. My number eight. If someone's only contacting you
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: when they need something, they're not your friend. Don't bother
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: dealing with them. Yeah. No, we do. We end up
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: marrying them. Oh, man. Women. Did you read none? Yeah. Yeah.
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: Did you read Caleb's? I also just read Mia's. Did
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: you read April's? April's was wild. Good Lord. Yeah. Number seven.
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: Don't bother continuing with humans who don't try to be
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: with you. Yeah. Yeah. You know, they don't want to
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: make an effort. Don't fucking, don't put the effort in
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: for them because they don't give a shit. Never trust
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: anyone in power to have your own, your interest in mind. Yep.
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: That's kind of. Oh, yep. Doesn't matter if it's work,
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: fucking the manager at a restaurant, wherever you're at. Always
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: check your condoms for holes at a randoms house. Condoms?
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: What's this? What are these? You guys don't know what
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: randoms are either? Okay. That's good. No, randoms are. What's
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: a condom? Anyway, number four. Never poo in public besides
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: at work unless it's Hobby Lobby or Von Mar. Yeah.
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: Lawnmowers are nice. Like I said, if I go to
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: Davenport for any reason, I don't care if I'm on
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: the wrong side of town. I will drive to the
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: other side of town to poop. So we went to this...
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: It's the best. We went to... Great toilet paper. It's
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: like this much space in the bathroom just for you.
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: And total privacy. We went down to Moline, to that
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: serial killer speakeasy thing they had this weekend. I don't
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: know if you heard about that. We went to that.
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: Rainy was there. Oh, yeah. There was like six different shows. Oh, okay.
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: We went to the one, and it was at the
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: Moline Club. It's on the third floor of this building
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: down at Moline. It's fine. I went into the bathroom.
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: Holy shit. That's one of the nicest bathrooms I've ever
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: been in. Just out of random. The place is fine.
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: It's nothing great. But their bathrooms were, I mean, they
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: put Vodmar to shame. They were. I'm serious. I felt
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: like I was in some rich guy's house. No way.
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: They were so nice. And then for no reason at all.
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: So nice. So you're saying it's better than Gabe's Oasis bathroom? Ooh,
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: that's tough. There's a lot of stickers in there. That
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: might be one of the worst bathrooms I've ever been in.
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: That's how COVID started. Yeah. Yeah? It was at Gabe's Oasis.
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: It was at Gabe's Oasis. That thing was nationally ranked.
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: And Matt Reinhart wore flip-flops and no shoes in there. Oh, gosh.
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: I don't know if he ever went in the bathroom,
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: but he definitely won that game. Dude, Matt took pisses
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: like it's his job. Who wears flip-flops to a hardcore show?
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: And that goes in the pit. At that bar. That
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: makes sense, actually. He's like, here, hold my flip-flops. I'm
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: going to the pit. I'm like, fuck, yeah. I mean, dude,
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: I've seen people get their shoes taken off. Yeah. He
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: didn't break his toes. How did he break his toes?
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Other people are looking.
• 38:52
  Speaker 3: They're like.
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, he's not all that. He's that one.
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: He's that guy. Well, he was doing it at Warped Tour.
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: If you're listening, Matt, come on and tell your stories.
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: He was doing it at Warped Tour, too. Shoes off,
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: dancing around. He's a psycho. He was a psycho. He
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: was a psycho. He's a psycho in a different way.
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: He licked beer off of the ground in the Lumber
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: King game. Oh, fudge. Yeah. Somebody spilled a beer, and
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: he went down and just started licking it. Yep. What
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: do you want? Anyway, keep going. That was my number four. Oh, okay.
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: So now I'm caught up to you guys. All right.
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: Let's read our last two lists. Yeah, let's read the
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: last two lists. Here you go, Molly. Oh. We have
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: three lists left. Oh, okay. So go ahead and read yours.
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: This is by Tariq Khan. Tariq Khan. Tariq. 10. Practice
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: Locktober or No Nut November. We'd go to hell. We
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: need to just start calling him sleeveless. Yeah, you'd go
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: straight to hell. Yeah, you'd go straight to hell. Number nine,
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: smash your garlic with a knife to peel. Okay. Number eight,
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: and this is a great one. Don't watch the news. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: That's a smart one right there. Sorry, I'm out of breath.
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: Number eight, don't watch the news. Yeah, don't do that. Yeah,
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: don't do that. Seven, read books. You're entertained everywhere you go.
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: Got to wait a while? No problem. Read. Better than
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: doom scrolling. I'm trying to agree. That goes back to
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: my number or whatever I said. Trying to stay off
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: your phone. At least read off your phone if you're
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: going to be on it. Six. I reckon practicing Tai
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: Chi is a life hack for calmness and pride of achievement.
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: I want to start doing Tai Chi. Do you? I do.
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: It just seems calming. And stretching. That was one of
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: my things. And Tai Chi is easy. I think he
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: may be talking about a guy named Tai Chi. Probably.
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: So he's just practicing with them? Yeah. Yeah, just practicing.
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: Practicing what? Well, not nutting, because that's no... Yeah, he
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: clearly doesn't do that. Yeah, he's practicing itching. So is
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: Locktober for chicks? Is that their thing? They lock it up?
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: I've never heard of that. I like it. That's a
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: good name. I don't care for it. No. I heard
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: of No Nut November. Yeah, I've heard of that. Why
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: would you do that? I don't know. I don't know.
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: I suppose to think clearly when you do it. I
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: think it would make it worse. I think I'd be
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: real angry. I'd lose my shit. That's not going to
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: put me in a terrible idea. You know what? I
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: say we try it. See how long we get. What
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: time on November 1st do we all fail? How far
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: to November 1st do we make it? Gotcha the second, bitches.
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: All right, let's keep going here. Number five, cut things
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: out of your life slowly. This year I specifically ate
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: no McDonald's, Taco Bell, or Burger King. Next year I
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: will keep going and cut it out more and more.
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: Good for you. Hey, good for you. I reckon an
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: electric bicycle is a life hack. Get out more. More
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: fresh air, less gas, exercise, more fun, more appealing than
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: going on a traditional bike because you know it will
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: have that assistance. So not going out at all due
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: to being tired would be less deterrent. I've heard, I've
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: really thought about getting an electric bike. But I feel
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: like I would just use the electricity part of it
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: and not ride. I rode my bike, my regular bike,
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: from Thompson to Clinton and back. And that was exhilarating.
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: I felt so good. I used to ride my bike
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: all the time. Well, then I sold my bike. I
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: haven't used it forever. Number three, setting clothes out for
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: the next day. Hard agreed. coming up okay coming up
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: uh two buy specialized vegetable slap chopper you'll eat more
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: veggies we have because it's fun dude it is fun
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: yeah yeah number one squeeze the gas pump only gently
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: not full force that way less air comes in and
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: you don't get yourself on gas jip yourself on gas
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: i've started doing that have you yeah i don't know
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: if it does anything i i've i've seen like gas
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: people say like You can make yourself feel better doing
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: it that way. But if you go in like... It's
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: pumping out the same amount. You're not going to get
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: more for what you're pumping out because it's pumping out
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: the same amount anyway. Are you the type when you
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: get to a gas and you're done, do you shake
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: it into the gas pump? I just shake it a
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: tiny bit just so that the drip doesn't drip on
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: my car. But other than that, I don't. I can
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: hurt your car though. No, I know, but it's... My
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: sister always used to do that so she gets extra gas.
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: You're not getting a drop. You're not getting anything. We
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: have our last list here. Guess who it's from. Damn it!
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: I've been so good lately. You messed it up. Go ahead.
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: Just in case. Jim Bull slash Mia. Or MIA. Is
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: this a partnership here? It's a father-daughter combo. I've never
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: had one of those. Alright. Oh, sorry.
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: I have.
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: Your dad and, well. Oh, goodness. If you forget why
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: you walked into a room, walk back to where you started.
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it helps remember. Yeah, sometimes it helps. Sometimes it
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: just makes me walk further.
• 44:16
  Speaker 3: Use your phone camera to zoom in on tiny writing
• 44:19
  Speaker 3: instead of squinting. I definitely use my phone camera to
• 44:22
  Speaker 3: zoom in on shit a lot. Not for words, but
• 44:25
  Speaker 3: for other weird stuff. No, I'm talking what I was
• 44:29
  Speaker 3: for insects. No, for my job, legitimately.
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: It definitely helped. I do it at concerts when I'm like, hey,
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: I'm going to zoom in, see the concert better. Because
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: I can only buy the cheap tickets and I'm in
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: the nosebleeds. Let's see. Rub a dryer sheet over the
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: fabric to reduce static. Heard that. Heard that. Hang a
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: wrinkled shirt in the bathroom during a warm shower, keeping
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: it away from the water. The steam helps with light wrinkles. Okay.
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: Take a picture of your parking spot or a nearby
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: sign to remember where you parked. Yeah, we talked about
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: that earlier. Take a picture of your fridge or pantry
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: before heading to the store. Talked about that. Also had
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: that one. It's an invention now, though. Yeah, Samsung. Smart fridge.
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: Smart fridge where you can... Look on your phone and
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: see what's in your fridge. My fridge ain't that smart. Well,
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: you don't have that fridge. No. You have to have
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: that special fridge. I don't want that. No, me neither.
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: It doesn't sound bad, though. You're going to be at
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: a store, and all of a sudden it's like... Oh,
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: did I milk? Because you can then zoom in on
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: your date on there. Yeah. That's pretty good. Shit. I
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: know what I have. Take a picture. Oh, wait.
• 45:37
  Speaker 3: Repeat someone's name naturally when you first hear it. Then
• 45:42
  Speaker 3: connect with the detail you remember about them.
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm terrible at names. Maybe that'll help. Maybe it
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: would because, yeah. That's kind of funny. Put a wooden
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: spoon across a boiling pot. Yep. We talked about that.
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: Wait a day before buying something you didn't plan on buying.
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: That's always a good idea. Yeah, I'm sure it is.
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: You don't. What's that like? I know, right? I want
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: them to get it. That's the joy of being an adult.
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: I do have tattoos. Like, oh, I want that. Wait
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: a month. The tattoo rules. You seem to still be here. Oh,
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: I'm not waiting that long. Oh, actually, yes, I do.
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: You probably should. I should. Oh, not anymore. I don't
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: care what I tattoo anymore. I'm too old to care.
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: I just want tattoos.
• 46:27
  Speaker 3: Oh, this is the ice cube against the gum until
• 46:31
  Speaker 3: it hardens and then carefully lift or scrape it off
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: with the dull edge.
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: What if it's in my pubes? That's on you. That's
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: on peanut butter. Yeah, peanut butter. I love the dog
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: with that. Place a damp, folded kitchen towel underneath the
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: board before chopping. Ah. And number one, stretch a sturdy
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: rubber band across the opening of a paint can and
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: wipe your brush against the band. Okay. Yeah. Sure. All right.
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: Now I have a list from before. Use a muffin
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: tin to hold condiments at a cookout. Good. Use nail
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: polish to identify different keys. Put a verbander on a
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: can of paint, drive your brush out. Use a can
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: opener to open blister packs. Okay. What's a blister pack?
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: When you're getting your medicine in blister packs. He's old.
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: Put a Popsicle through cupcake paper to catch the drips.
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: That's smart. That sucks when you're eating a Popsicle and
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: you just get all the sticky fingers. Of course I
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: made a Popsicle. I mean, it's been months. Yeah, I
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: was going to say, it hasn't been that long. Summer.
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: It doesn't get on my hands as fast as it's gone. Oh, yeah.
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: It's all one bite, and I just suck it right
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: off the stick. Use pool noodles in a fitted sheet
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: on a toddler's bed to avoid them falling out. I've
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: seen that. That's a pretty good idea. How do they
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: learn that, though? Let the kid fall. That's right. Trial
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: and error, baby. Use a hair dryer to help remove stickers.
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: Store chips, open or not, in the freezer. They won't
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: get stale. Really? Interesting. Stickers that get stuck in your sock.
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: How the fuck does that work? Really, Santa chips in
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: the freezer. They won't get stale, even if they're open.
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: I might try that. Do they freeze? I'm sure they
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: get cold. I can't imagine they get... No, it's a potato.
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: They're not going to... I'm going to try that. I'll
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: give you a small bag. Cut open an empty toilet
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: paper roll and use it as a cuff around wrapping
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: paper roll to keep it from unrolling. That's not fresh.
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: It is. Use your sunglasses as a phone holder to
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: watch your phone. Okay. There you go. Thanks, phone. Uncle.
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: Number three for me. Put unmatched socks... All in one place.
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: When the other sock appears, you know exactly where to look.
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: That's good. We have a basket. Just one sock. And
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: if we don't find them within like a month. Gone.
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: They're all getting thrown away. Yep. I like that. Yep. Okay.
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: My number three. Sharpen your kitchen knives. I only started
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: doing it recently. But just get a little sharpener and
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: just give it a quick sharpen every couple times you
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: use it. My knife. Oh, my God. I went to
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: cut a tomato and my knife was sharp. That's a
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: world of difference. I learned that at IBP. Your knife
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: needs to be sharp. Yeah. It's a simple little thing.
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: It only takes a couple seconds. It really does. It's
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: actually sharp if you're cutting a steak. Yeah. And your
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: knife just sucks. Oh, my God. Just sharpen it real quick.
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: Makes a world of difference. It only takes 15 seconds. Yeah. But, oh,
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: my God. It's so much better. Yeah. My number three
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: was on old Jimbo's list over there for names. When
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: I meet somebody, like, oh, your name's Josh. I'm going
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: to relate it to somebody either funny or something fucking
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: random that makes me think of Josh in my head. Smart.
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: Like Josh Duhamel was like, oh, okay. That's who you
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: are now. You're in Transformers. He was in Transformers. And
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: he was in a bunch of other people. He's in
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: a whole bunch of shit. He looks a lot like Oh,
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: I know. Justified guy. Yeah, yeah. Timothy Olyphant? Timothy Olyphant. Yeah,
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: Timothy Olyphant. They switched their Christmas cards. They went with
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: each other's families on their Christmas cards and sent them
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: out to family to see if anybody realized it wasn't them.
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: Nobody showed it. He's like, his mom didn't even notice.
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: That's great. I think they look somewhat alike, but I
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: can tell them apart. Anyway.
• 50:52
  Speaker 3: Some people don't pay enough attention when that stuff comes through.
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: Yep. Number deuce? Yeah, color code your keys. Oh, yeah,
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: I do. I have little rubber things I put on
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: them so I know what key is what, yeah. Or
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: nail polish or whatever. Yeah. Some sort of distinguishable mark.
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: It makes it so much easier when you get to
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: your door and you're like, I don't know what key is.
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: Green for home. Red for doors. Yeah. Greens for house.
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: Greens for home. I got keypads on garage doors. Oh, no,
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: I'm still in the stone age. I'd much rather have keys. Yeah,
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: but I can be like, hey, Go in there. Here,
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: type this in. Then you can get in and out.
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: Until this shit stops working. Yeah. The battery's dead. It
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: lets you know. Then the world ends and we're all
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: locked out of your house. It's weird how some things
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: can be so cool that help. I was putting air
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: in my tires. It beeps when it's full. I agree.
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: I've never let a car beep when it's full. That's
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: fucking cool. I like the Hy-Vee one because it'll stop
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: it for you automatically. Oh, yeah. You have a certain
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: amount of air. Yeah. Can you tell, I think, how
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: much air you want? I always go to Casey. How
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: much air you want in it? Yeah. Which Casey's? Usually
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: the one about 13th. They don't charge? No, it's free.
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: It's just a hoser on the side. And the one
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: in Command 2. Some in Casey's, them Casey's now charge.
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: Do they now? With just card only. To get air? Yeah.
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: First of all, nobody should ever charge for air. That's
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: the dumbest thing. That's so stupid. It's pretty crazy. Yeah, Hy-Vee,
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: you type in what PSI level you want. And once
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: you get there, like... My literal car will beep at
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: me when it's full. Like, oh, perfect. That scares the
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: shit out of me. All that shit scares the shit
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: out of me. There's so much on that car that
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: can go wrong. Like, you turn your wipers on one
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: day and the fucking car just dies. I hate it.
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: Or the horn will stop going off. Give me an
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: old 70s or 80s where there's no computer shit in
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: it at all. I'll crank my windows. Yeah. Shadow. Yeah.
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: I miss just all the base stick shift. The fucking crank.
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: I don't want to do that. It's just more motors
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: to go out. Yeah. Batteries to die. Exactly. Sensors. Yeah.
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: Sensors off. Man. Technology's cool. It is to a point.
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: Way too much. It's too much. It's too much. Yeah. Yeah.
• 53:14
  Speaker 3: My number two, put leftovers in a Ziploc bag instead
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: of fucking Tupperware because I they're usually not going to
• 53:20
  Speaker 3: get eaten anyway.
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: Just throw it away. Then you don't have the extra dishes.
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: I'm to the point where if I know I'm not
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: going to eat it, I just throw it away. Nobody
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: else is going to eat it. Leftovers get eaten by
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: me because I take them to work. If I'm not
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: going to take them to work, I just throw it away. Nope,
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: just throw it away. It's gone. It's not getting eaten.
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: They're starving kids in Elvira. They're probably starving kids in Clinton.
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: They probably are. It's usually not even Like, it's barely
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: enough to eat them. But, I mean, that's not the...
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: It's like, why? I never said why my parents said that.
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: They're serving kids in Africa. Well, great. Are they going
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: to come here and eat? Yeah. Me packing up my
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: food and trying to send that to... It's going to
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: be bad by the time it gets there. They'll still
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: eat it. You'd be surprised what some people have to
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: go through to eat. Oh, I know. I really want
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: to see some of those 2016... Cleveland Indian World Series
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: t-shirt that they got. I want to see those t-shirts, dude. Hey,
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: I'm pulling for the Cleveland team this year. I don't care.
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: I just don't want Milwaukee to win. I'm talking about Tampa, man.
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: I'll be fine with them winning, too. I don't care. ABM.
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: Anybody but Milwaukee. I don't care. I'll go for either
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: of the male teams. I told my aunt and uncle.
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: The Brewers aren't even in yet. They might be here
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: in a couple hours. I told my aunt and uncle
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: in Nashville. I said, I bleed Dodger blue right now.
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: I don't give a fuck, dude. That's disgusting. You didn't
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: hate the Dodgers 10 years ago. Yeah, I did. We
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: all hate them now because of what they're doing. Nobody
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: gave a shit when they were 60 and 102 and
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: nobody cared what the Dodgers were doing. I didn't care. Anyway,
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: I have a couple other mentions. Yeah. Buy birthday cards
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: in bulk. Birthday cards is a thing? Yeah. If you
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: have young kids. Can we, as a society, move past cards? Yeah. Exactly.
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: Go ahead. No one's forcing you. Oh, I know. But, like,
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: have you ever kept a card? I do. I have several.
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: Do you? Yeah. I still have graduation cards. Really? Uh-huh. Oh, man.
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: They're thoughtful. Oh, sure. But what are you going to
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: do with them? I have grandpa's cards, he said. Oh, okay. Yeah.
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: I don't think I have. I still have the envelope
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: in it that said Christ. Jesus Christ. I don't think
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: I have a single card. And I have the shirt
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: he got me, too, from every time. No, it was Christmas.
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: Just give me, like, you know, if you're going to
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: give me $ 20, just give me $ 20. You don't need
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: to get a card to go in it. Oh, yes. Okay.
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: And also, the cheapest car insurance policy isn't always the
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: cheapest in the long run. Coverage matters. Inductibles matter. Oh,
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: there's a lot of, you could say, like, some things
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: are worth the money. I'm saying, like, Liberty Bibbity, for example,
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: you only pay for what you need. How do you
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: know what you're going to need? You don't know if
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: you're going to run into a fucking Lambo. You know, like,
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: oh shit, just T-boned a Bentley and I only have
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: a 10-20 policy. Great. Now you're paying out of pocket
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: for $ 75, 000. Good luck getting that money. Don't cut yourself
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: short on insurance. Yeah, you don't need it all the time.
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: You probably won't need it for years, but when you do,
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: you want to have it. You don't want up short.
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: I just want one insurance company to, when I pay
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: in every month, put that money in my insurance account.
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: And then when something happens, it's all there. Not, oh,
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: we'll pay it out if this happens or if this happens.
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: Just put all that money I pay you every month
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: into my account. So when it's there, it's there. And, oh,
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: after 30 years, I'm going to go to a different company.
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: I want that money back. I'm going to pay it
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: to you. I never used it. You never used it.
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: That's not how that works. I want it back. Exactly.
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: It should. Yeah. Because insurance is a scam. All insurance.
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: It is a scam. Not car insurance. All kind of
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: life insurance is pretty dope. I want that life insurance
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: where you can take the money out before you die. Well,
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: that's a whole life policy. You can do that for you.
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: I know. I need to get one of those. Well,
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: you're getting way too old for that now. Mm-hmm. I
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: have a... I have life insurance. I have a 30-year...
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: It's just not the one you can take out. I
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: have a big term policy right now that I can...
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: Anytime I want, I can flip it over to a
• 57:33
  Speaker 1: whole policy. Yeah. part of it or whatever, but I
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: think you need to drink that. You're talking about life insurance. Yeah.
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: My number one, pick your clothes, pack your lunch, put
• 57:44
  Speaker 1: your essentials together before bed. Yeah. That way when you're
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: tired or if you're in a hurry and next day,
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: no more, you have no decisions to make. Yeah. It's
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: all right there. You can just grab your shit, put
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: on your clothes. You have to go, Oh, what am
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: I wearing today? You can just, here it is. That's
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: what you're wearing today. You already have it laid out. Yeah. Hmm.
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: Working third shift saves me on all that shit, though. Yeah,
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: I don't have to do all that. Even working first shift,
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: I don't have to do all that. I do it
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: all the time. I put my clothes on. If you
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: have to be working early, I get it. Totally. I
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: don't have to be working super early, 8 o'clock. But
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: that's early enough. But I pack my lunch the night before. Yeah.
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: That way, if I'm in a hurry or I'm super tired,
• 58:22
  Speaker 1: I didn't get much sleep the night before, I don't
• 58:24
  Speaker 1: have to make decisions. I remember having those problems. Oh, yeah. Definitely.
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: It's a smart idea. I get it. Yep. Mine are one,
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: and I just learned this, and it actually worked, and
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: it's so dumb. Do you ever use Pinterest? No. Do
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: you ever use Pinterest? No. Okay. I haven't used it
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: in a long time because it's so insufferable of ads.
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: It's ads, ads, ads. Even if you click on something,
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: if you don't notice that it says ad or whatever,
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: it's horrible. If you type in, if you go into Pinterest,
• 58:56
  Speaker 1: type in what you want to look at. If you
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: want to look at Halloween shit. Yeah. Type in Halloween shit.
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: No ads. If you put a swear word in your search,
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: no ads. You get all your search results with zero ads.
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: And it works. You want hair care products? Fucking hair
• 59:13
  Speaker 1: care products. No ads. You just get what you look for.
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: It takes all the ads off of Pinterest and it
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: makes Pinterest good again. That's fantastic. It's so dumb, but
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: it's nice. I'll tell you what I don't like about Pinterest.
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: It's you just shit all over my Am I putting
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: a close-out on you? I don't like Pinterest because it
• 59:33
  Speaker 1: takes any originality out of everything. All you're doing is
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: looking at everyone else's projects. I don't... I just like
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: it to look at, like... Like here. Oh, I saw
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: this on Pinterest. I'm going to make this. It's like...
• 59:44
  Speaker 1: Go on Pinterest. Do your own shit, man. It's the
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: same thing that's happening with Tickety-Tockety now, too. Maybe someone
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: was on Twitter. I don't look at shit on TikTok, though,
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: to try to get ideas. I just try to laugh
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: at TikTok. I found that dartboard idea on Pinterest. Or
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: look at... Or look at women on TikTok. Try to
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 1: find them on Twitter. Because Twitter's a lot more liberal
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: than Instagram. Instagram's very particular. Twitter's not. Twitter, you're getting
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: her legs spread wide open. You're seeing a pie hole
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: on Twitter. I do not use Twitter at all anymore.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: But once in a while... That's what it's for. Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 1: Other than that, I don't know. And I'm still going
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: to call it Twitter forever. Yeah, I mean, that's what
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: it is. I mean, they're still called tweets. Yeah, they're
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: still tweets because it's Twitter. I think they're called posts, actually.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: I think they're just called posts. That's so boring. But
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: you post on Facebook. Tweets are fun. I don't post
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: on Facebook. You do. Once a week. Once a week
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: for this. That's it. I really try not to post
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: anything else on Facebook. I try not to get on
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: any social media anymore.
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 3: I can't say I don't use. My number one is
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 3: social media. especially the beginning of it, use YouTube instead
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 3: of mechanics. Saved me thousands and thousands of dollars instead of.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: Going to a mechanic. But even for diving mechanics, just
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: for fixing shit. Yeah, anything. There's a video for everything. Like,
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: thank you. We planted a new tree, and I wanted
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: to stake it down, and I had the kit, but
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: I had never actually done it, so I watched a video. Oh,
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: that's super easy. Got it now. Yeah, see? That's fucking wonderful. Plumbing.
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: That's That's how I learned how to fold a blanket
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: into a pillow. I learned that. I was like, dude,
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 1: that is awesome. I'm going to use that. If you
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: want to learn something, go on YouTube. You can take
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: classes on YouTube. It's great. YouTube's got everything. I almost
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 1: just put YouTube as the head. I think YouTube's my
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 1: favorite social media app. Is that a social media app?
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: It's just a video app. It's a streaming platform. It's
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: the best one. Even at work, some nights... It does
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: really suck when it cuts off your whatever you're watching.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: It goes into an ad. That is 55 seconds long
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: that you can't fucking skip. I've tried that and the
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: hack sometimes works. Sometimes. But you can pay to get
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 1: ad free. It's like $ 7. 99. I know. But $ 7. 99 you'll
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: get ad free on everything except music videos. Bullshit. Which
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: I'm like, that's what I watch the most of. Then
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: it's $ 15. 99. I'm like, I ain't paying that. I'll watch
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 1: the ad. I'll just bitch about it. I only pay
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: for two things. Two streaming services? Oh, like two things. Spotify, yeah. Yes.
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: I pay for Spotify. Spotify and TV. Yeah, TV. I
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: have two. I have too many of those stupid... Mine
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: is two as well. I pay for Spotify and I
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 1: pay for TV. Disney, Hulu, that's it. Everything else is...
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: I think I have a bundle of Disney, ESPN, and Hulu.
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 2: I kept canceling shit. It's smart. It's nice because they
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 2: don't make you go six months or a year. You
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 2: can do month to month. This week of the month,
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 2: I'm going to subscribe to Apple. Then I'm going to
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 2: subscribe to Netflix. Then I'm going to go this one.
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: If you wait long enough, they'll send you an email like, hey,
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 1: we miss you. We'll give you a deal. I was
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: worried about that. I'm pretty excited. That's our podcast for
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: the week. Get us lists for next time. Thank you
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 1: to all for getting us lists this time. Would you
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 1: like to know what we're doing next week? Nope. Nope.
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: Figure it out. Figure it out, fuckers. Oh, is this
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 1: one where we got to pick our own? You guys
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 1: got to guess it? No, we got to do that
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 1: one pretty soon. We got a few that we got.
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 1: We've got some good ideas. Can I say the outro again?
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 1: The intro and the outro? We can at the end, yeah.
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: So anyway, next week should be super easy. Super easy.
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 1: This is going to be one of my favorites. If
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 1: we know our listeners... Easy. This should be easy. Easy.
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 1: Top 10 favorite breakfast food. Yeah. I don't care if
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 1: we've done it, we're doing it again. I don't think
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 1: we have. We've done cereals. And we've done favorite foods,
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 1: but I don't think we've done breakfast. And if we did,
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 1: we're doing it again. Because I love breakfast food. And
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 1: guess what? It doesn't have to be just for breakfast.
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 1: We can do it for dinner. It's called Brenner. That's right.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 1: I love this. Brinner is my favorite. Brinner is the best.
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: Brinner is my favorite. Oh, we're going to have biscuits
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 1: and gravy for dinner. Yes. Hey, save it. Save it.
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 1: We're talking about next week. It's hard not to. Get
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: us lists. Tell your friends. Comment. If you try any
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: of these life hacks. Yeah, let us know. And goodbye. Three. Two. One.
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 1: The Top Ten Podcast.