Latest / Multiple Nerdgasm / Menorah-tration: Krispy Kreme KKK Club & UNICEF Blackface Ad

Transcript

Menorah-tration: Krispy Kreme KKK Club & UNICEF Blackface Ad · Multiple Nerdgasm

0:00
my n Rings me yesterday and I said oh how are you Nan she's like oh been at home
0:06
today figuring out different ways to kill
0:09
myself oh okay so same as always I guess
0:16
yeah shout out to my n welcome to multiple
0:21
nerdgasm your destination for all things
0:25
nerdy did she give you a list no I think she wants me to ask
0:30
I'm not asking wonder how well I mean see now I'm interested though
0:35
like what what what are the go-to for somebody at that State you know in that
0:40
stage yeah look it's probably a lot more boring than You're Expecting I think
0:44
she's just going to um try to overdose on her um morphine tablet so that she
0:49
lapses into a coma and dies of starvation okay yeah that's not that interesting
0:55
yeah thanks for making me go to
0:58
go yeah that's true could be a lot worse yeah yeah it's not how um it's not how
1:05
you know people in high school talked about it that's all yeah that's right
1:10
yeah no I can't imagine her um I don't know dressing in black and
1:17
cutting her wrists and writing poetry yeah but nonetheless my suicidal Nan
1:23
you're our geek of the week geek of the week
1:30
[Music] GE it's start to get pretty easy to get
1:34
geek at a week lately you just have to die or want to
1:39
die uh we joke cuz I don't know how to deal with it but we are keeping up with
1:44
it that's the main thing got to be one every week I mean it's going to be my
1:47
it's going to be my nan or it's going to be one of the rabbis we're going to talk
1:51
to tonight yeah I'm a bit worried about talking to them you know some of the
1:56
content tonight we're going to be um we might end up on few lists um there
2:02
seems to be a theme that has accidentally crept in um to uh to this
2:09
this week's episode um we'll begin with some I guess accidental
2:15
racism if we can yeah yeah so um yeah in
2:20
uh in the UK uh I assume listeners around if they're in the UK and the US
2:26
and Australia we can assume that most of our listeners know what Crispy Cream is
2:31
um delici delicious Crispy Cream yeah it's a um a dut store I mean they they
2:38
say they're Donuts they're not Donuts as we in Australia traditionally know
2:41
Donuts I remember when Crispy Cream first yeah I remember when they opened I
2:47
went in and I was like well those don't look like any donuts I've ever eaten so
2:51
I remember when it was opened pen it was open 24 hours a day and there were lines
2:56
around the place for like half an hour 40 minutes all day y I had it once and I
3:01
went I don't like this yeah just uh just munch on some sugar packets yeah yeah
3:07
yeah you know I bought one once from the one just down the road from where Matt
3:11
and I used to live Matt still lives and I forgot I had it and I didn't
3:16
refrigerate it and I just left it out in the bag on my desk for about a week and
3:22
a half right and then I saw it then I was like oh God this is going to be the
3:26
most rank vile magot
3:32
meus that's a great word
3:35
milu spawning mhm it looked like it had just been
3:42
baked and it was still
3:45
as fluffy and light did you have a bite
3:50
you bet I did how was it it didn't taste any
3:57
different and that's concerning there was one that I used to like it was
4:01
this lemon filled one yeah they don't sell it anymore so they do have a few
4:07
that are that I well you should come over to my house cuz I've I've been
4:10
making my own lemon butter H yeah I got we got some of that off you for um for
4:15
Christmas that was lovely yeah if you haven't eaten it yet it it might be off
4:18
by now but um I'll I ate it it was already gone if you're making more I'll
4:23
sign me up I make it all the time I've got passion fruit butter in my fridge
4:26
right now yeah man that's what I do I make jams now okay because I'm 34 years old all
4:32
right are you
4:34
34 yeah 35 in 2 months how am I I'm 33 I
4:40
think yeah I'm 34 next month man yeah 3 no I'm not I'm 35 next month I don't
4:45
know how old I am I'm 34 next mon you know when I was a kid I used to think
4:50
all adults were 35 like if I saw a man on TV or in a film I used to think he
4:55
was 35 because that's the age adults were and it kind of freaks me out of it
4:59
that I'm going to be 35 really soon yeah does that mean you're meant to grow up
5:04
or oh God I mean I draw the line at the jams you know what I mean yeah what what
5:09
comes after jams well working in the garden I guess but I don't have a garden
5:15
pondering suicide eventually we've learned that's right some of us get
5:20
there quicker than others yeah but back to Crispy Cream yeah Crispy Cream um
5:26
they they use you know the um the modern um as far as spelling goes so they spell it
5:33
crispy cream with a k k r m as far as I'm aware that's not how you spell cream
5:37
um I'm pretty sure crispy isn't spelled with a K either you know what while
5:42
you're at it I mean jump into the middle if you want but I'm just so used to seeing their
5:47
[ __ ] logo everywhere I didn't even question that oh they spell crispy
5:50
correctly but anyway you know what's weird go past any drive through of any
5:55
description McDonald's KFC Crispy Cream
5:58
and through is spell T HR U oh yeah like that's just how to spell it I guess yeah
6:05
in context a drive-thru is a
6:09
driveth yeah right oh I you know you got to fit on the sign I suppose through is
6:14
an unnecessarily long word though that actually messes me up now when I try and
6:19
write write the word through yeah Jesus because it looks wrong when I write it
6:23
down now when I write the full word the way it's meant to be spelled stop going
6:27
to McDonald's then so writing letters about
6:32
McDonald's so anyway Crispy Cream spell crispy with a K cream with a K and
6:38
they've started in uh in the United Kingdom or England specifically
6:44
um in Hull
6:47
um they started the Crispy Cream Club oh yeah nothing wrong with that or yeah as
6:54
they as they posted it on some signage the KKK not only that you can join the
7:01
crispy K cream club and so there were posters that said join the
7:06
KKK now yeah the store that created the
7:12
event um which was it was intended to so customers could come in and decorate
7:17
Donuts apparently that's what this club is um and it's located in Harland
7:22
England this the store uh and apparently they had no idea which I guess is
7:28
feasible because look here's the thing they must have had no idea because if
7:32
they' thought about it for 10 seconds at all and come to this conclusion there's
7:37
no way this would have passed quality control yeah but surely you must and I
7:42
mean about the KKK well I mean we know and we're in
7:49
Australia like yeah look I could I could understand if they just had the crispy
7:53
clean cream Club yeah and didn't didn't go shorten it to the KKK I could see
7:58
that maybe that was past but they actually put KKK Wednesday join the KKK
8:04
I know and it's like it's not even an established thing the crispy K cream
8:08
Club it's like right out of the gates they're like KKK like we' abbreviated it
8:13
before every anyone even knows what it is so yeah so they're um they were very
8:20
apologetic uh apparently it was created by the whole location on their own um
8:25
you know crispy Crispy Cream Central are
8:28
you KKK um with a
8:32
franchise I think you do get some Liberties I think with like something
8:37
like McDonald's you're not allowed to change a thing I'm going to guess
8:40
they're definitely not allowed to anymore yeah that's right there's always
8:45
one bad egg who spoils it for everyone and that bad egg is the whole branch of crispy
8:51
CR so um yeah if you're um if you were looking forward to that I mean maybe
8:57
they just renamed it I don't know doesn't go into detail but I mean maybe
9:02
one day we'll live in a world where the
9:05
KKK um don't overshadow crispy K cream but uh that's not the world we
9:11
live in
9:14
today well I mean from accidental racism
9:19
to I mean I don't even know how to describe this new range of ads from
9:24
UNICEF and if you're Germany you've got to be extra careful not to be racist I'm
9:31
sorry you do but Germany has just
9:36
released a a new ad campaign for Unicef Global charity um that features
9:42
beautiful blond Aryan German children in
9:47
blackface um and you know I mean it's it's a it's a nice sentiment it's
9:52
basically one of them says I'm waiting for my last day at school the children
9:57
in Africa haven't had their first one you know and um in Africa kids don't
10:03
come to school late they don't come at
10:07
all and uh so some teachers suck but no
10:10
teachers suck even more but um the slogans are fine you know it's basically
10:16
saying like we're lucky that we get to go to school but they're [ __ ] little
10:19
blonde kids in blackace are you guys looking at these pictures yeah that's
10:25
um man and they they've really search for the Whitest Kids possible to you
10:31
know like these kids are so
10:35
white I mean I assume this was
10:39
innocent and just yeah but once again like maybe I can accept that somebody
10:46
hasn't heard of the KKK but certainly by now you know that you can't do
10:51
blackface well apparently they haven't heard in the Netherlands well that's
10:56
true no they've heard now we we have told them refus to listen but I mean oh Germany
11:02
come on I mean yeah UNICEF too you you
11:06
mean well not Germany UNICEF like yeah surely you
11:12
know somebody in one of any other branch of Unicef yeah went wait you going to
11:19
you did what well surely there's at least one person even in the German
11:23
branch of Unicef that went I think maybe we perhaps making fun of these children
11:29
a black face or maybe they just they just
11:35
couldn't find any black kids in German and they're like what are we going to do
11:40
we got to what are we going to do we have to have some black children in the
11:43
ads otherwise no one knows that it's
11:46
Africa and then uh and then U ball turns
11:52
up all the subtlety of an U ball film maybe that's the maybe it's just that's
11:58
just Germans that's Germany just [ __ ] say it what do you
12:03
want to say just say it yeah maybe that's their Sensi of humor I mean this
12:09
isn't humor this is like this is a serious political campaign well we don't
12:13
has any black kids just puts the white kids in a black makeup problem solv the
12:17
only thing difference between a white kid and a black kid is the skin the skin
12:22
and also the education don't forget to mention the education on the sign yes
12:26
also the bellies of the black kills looks swollen because of food but
12:30
actually swollen because of lack of food and malnutrition so confusing leave it
12:34
off the sign just go with the black face look look like little dark
12:38
Jew and you took it too far did I but a good segue into some of our other
12:44
stories staying out of this did you guys see the picture can you see the picture
12:48
I just posted in a little while ago is it a is it a baby with a beard yeah it's
12:52
a baby with a beard and I was wondering why that was in there it's literally the
12:56
cutest thing I've ever seen I mean if had a baby that' be it
13:01
right like it would come out with beard and
13:06
Tattoos [ __ ] sailor tattoos too man adorable so
13:12
good I'm sorry I ruined the German thing we can we can move
13:18
on that's all right I think as far as I know we only have one Jewish listener
13:22
and I don't think he's going to be offended by that he might be offended
13:26
about the dick sucking syphilis story yeah should we should we move on to the
13:31
um the rabbi sucking baby's dicks and giving them um herpes should we move on
13:36
to that tpes it's not syphilis excuse me yeah so I learned this week that um I
13:42
didn't I genuinely just didn't know this um oh see you learn about the dick
13:47
sucking this week yeah not just the herpes you learned about you learned
13:51
about the dick sucking yeah yeah I learned about all of this so must have come a bit of a
13:58
shock
14:00
apparently and to be clear most most um
14:05
rabbis or Moes don't do this anymore this is a very old tradition that
14:11
apparently they don't usually do this anymore but as do it in
14:16
Orthodox not all of them apparently or so they leaders to believe
14:22
anyway when they circumcise a baby M part part of the ritual um and
14:28
apparently there is a somewhat medical um basis for this um
14:34
but the last part of the ritual involves the mo the the guy cutting the skin off
14:40
as as I the guy who does the breast y he
14:43
has to uh give the the penis a little
14:47
suck uh to to suck the blood away from
14:52
the wound which the wound is no other way to possibly do that
14:57
so um the it's apparently uh and I think most of these are in New York these
15:04
cases um where the AR at yeah that's
15:08
right there are now 14 cases uh where babies have been infected with herpes
15:14
from from this practice
15:21
so is there one
15:23
priest with herpes I don't suck 14 baby
15:28
dicks and passed it on to those 14 or are like are rabbis like kissing each
15:34
other and [ __ ] and spreading the herpes around and then from what I've read of
15:39
dick it's not one guy there are a bunch of a bunch of cases of this and in
15:44
particular some of them um some of them have said well they're not going to stop
15:49
doing it it's it's part of their religion so sorry the baby got hurt it's
15:53
their thing Matt you can't call them on it you can't call them on it um the
15:57
state of New York um has a a law whereby they are required to
16:03
inform the parents um that that this could happen that the baby could like
16:09
the form basically says your baby could get herpes from this so isn't there a
16:16
law that you can't no because it's a religious ceremony you can do it it's
16:22
actually your half it's it it is illegal generally speaking even in the
16:27
ceremony
16:45
[Laughter]
17:11
[Laughter]
17:29
can prevent complications related to the
17:31
circumcision by you know um the suction the what some there's
17:37
some it does something that helps prevent you know complications yeah you
17:42
know what else could do that some equipment a medy wipe yeah yeah well
17:48
apparently there is also I was circumcised as a baby and I'm pretty
17:51
sure my parents didn't allow some old man to suck my dick first maybe they
17:56
afterwards afterwards no no after before or after they did um apparently there is
18:02
a glass tube of some sort that they can use to prevent contact oh but it's too
18:07
much work yeah exactly exactly now I think this is one of those weird things
18:13
that slip a tiny condom onto it a blood flavored condom oh well
18:19
that's just
18:23
gross it's one of those religious things where I'm like really you're like that's
18:29
what you're Clinging On to yeah like [ __ ] hell you've made all the things
18:33
you've made the little hat as small as possible to get away with it I know
18:37
you've exploited every other loophole you won't stop sucking the baby dicks
18:44
like in areas where there's large Jewish
18:48
populations they have motion sensitive
18:52
crosswalks because you're not allowed to push a button on the Sabbath that's
18:57
cheating yeah exactly you are pushing a button like and my my Jewish friends
19:04
would tell me that they would always on a Friday afternoon have a discussion in
19:07
their house which channel they were going to put the TV on on Friday
19:11
afternoon because come Friday night you're not allowed to turn the TV off or
19:14
on but if it's already on well I think God doesn't mind that but it has to be
19:19
you're not allowed to change the channel so it has to be on the same channel for the whole
19:23
weekend yeah see I just don't I mean I don't care they more than happy for them
19:29
to sit there and do that but that's just weird to me and again it's only amongst
19:34
themselves that they they're doing this this ritual so I mean if if they if they
19:41
feel like this is necessary then that's fine but jeez I I first of all I didn't
19:45
know that this was a thing and I'm it we me out thing it's a thing cuz I first
19:51
honestly at first I thought at first I thought no that's that's got to be fake
19:55
no it's true they don't suck the baby's dick but you'd think it's a given wouldn't
20:01
you you would think it's a given but no they do they uh not that yeah they suck the
20:08
blood off of it so yeah there you go
20:14
gross yeah but I just I I love the yamako is my favorite loophole
20:20
exploitation you know like if I was a God and I had a chosen people and I'm
20:25
like you're the chosen people and the only people I'm going to into heaven and
20:27
they were like yay we love you God I'm like yeah I love you too guys come here
20:30
group hug and then I was like look I've just got one thing to ask I need you to
20:33
all wear hats all the time is that cool I mean I know it's like that's you know
20:37
that's just my thing okay and they went yeah yeah that's totally fine we are
20:41
going to wear the smallest [ __ ] hats yeah our hats are going to be so small
20:46
we got to bobby pin them to our hair exactly it's cheating and it's like like he's not
20:53
going to know he's not going to know he's going to look down and be like well
20:55
he's got a hat on yeah or it's going to be like he's looking at them going oh
21:00
you [ __ ] and they're going to be like you're hat say something [ __ ] say
21:04
something and then when they got to heaven and he's like I told you to wear
21:07
hats and they're going to pull out the contract and be like look look what it
21:10
says hat said hat yeah Y and then and
21:15
then they're circumcising a kid and and God said are you going to eat
21:24
that do you reckon the first Rabbi that did this or the first Mo that did this
21:31
probably did it with the absolute best intentions like he did it and was a
21:35
little bit more blood than the normal e he's like oh [ __ ] what am I'm going to
21:37
do quick quick quick quick think fast just suck the blood out that's what
21:40
you'd do if it was on your elbow and everyone at the bris just went sorry are
21:45
you are you sucking that little baby's
21:48
dick oh go God told me to now
21:55
look I agree I'm sure I'm sure they have the best of intentions I just
22:02
think it's really weird and look yeah I mean there's some cultures there's a
22:07
culture there's a native culture in Papa New Guinea that believes that human men
22:14
are not born with the ability to create sperm and in order to be fertile as an
22:19
adult you have to orally inseminate a vast amount of seaman as a
22:26
child what yes this is true this is absolutely true and so it is the job of
22:31
the older boys like the teenage boys to orally inseminate the younger boys in
22:38
the tribe right this is the this is the
22:43
Catholic Church you're talking about
22:49
yeah but Google it I will at some point I won't do it
22:55
now I'm not Googling that all in
22:59
suck older boys dick do we have a jingle for oralin.com
23:07
it's the sexy C sweeping the nation it's allal
23:13
[Music] insation h there we go I thought we
23:19
might God now I don't want to make
23:24
this and a kind of hating on the Jews episode but let's not make this a hating
23:30
on the Jews episode I do have one other like this is a coincidence I have one
23:34
other article that is um that is related look before you go on look if you're
23:40
Jewish and you're listening now and you these guys are being pretty hard on the
23:44
Jews we have a lot of other minority groups that we're going to be just as
23:48
hard on by the end of this episode yeah yeah look I got nothing against Jews I
23:53
just find these particular things interesting uh and I like to laugh at
23:58
them H um what have you found out about rabis not only do they suck dicks what
24:04
else do they do Matt well apparently at least one of them uh likes to set up
24:09
hidden cameras um in and around the areas where Jewish women engage in
24:15
ritual bathing yeah so um apparently it's been going on for
24:22
long enough that he had cameras in various spots around um the area from
24:28
what I gather they kind of go out into an area and do I assume the women do
24:33
this on their own um the the reason they
24:36
do it is because um after they've menr they believe that they're unclean and
24:42
they need to be richly cleansed so they have these right um they have these I
24:47
mean they're natural hot springs in um you know in a traditional sense right uh
24:53
and basically yeah they go and they do this ritual bathing it's women only uh
24:57
well when I say women only it's there's no men and women there's no mixed ones
25:01
men can do it too if they want a ritual cleansing right but they don't go with
25:06
the women are uh so just women and hidden cameras in this case yeah that's
25:12
yeah he uh he had um a bunch of them in the room he' had footage of about it
25:17
says at least 150 women um on media storage devices uh when they searched
25:23
his house and office um he was discovered when a clock radio with a
25:28
camera in it was discovered in a showering room so James Bond isn't it I
25:34
know he's gotten cocky and he's putting like put this clock radio here and then
25:38
someone what the [ __ ] is that medieval device in the corner
25:43
yeah wow and look has this guy not heard
25:48
of the internet apparently not yeah I
25:51
know naked women you can see him yeah
25:55
yeah this is and I can't like honest I mean look to each his own but I can't
26:01
think of anything less sexy than watching a woman like
26:07
piously like give herself a ritual cleansing maybe that's his thing there's
26:13
no sexy way to do that and it's not like they're all it's
26:18
not like they're sort of presenting themselves to the camera or anything or
26:22
trying maybe they are how would we know yeah you know what maybe you're right M
26:27
maybe a ritual bath is more like much more like the lesbian ory that we imag
26:32
children who knows what they get up to in there well I'll tell you who knows
26:36
fle Rabbi Bernard fundle doing each other's hair soaping up each other's
26:42
breasts kissing yeah yeah you can get you can get five
26:48
of them on those big candle labras maybe oh
26:55
wow wow no is that's called a
26:59
manora a manora
27:04
AA probably we we got any of this out there's uncomfortable staying in staying
27:09
in I don't know what it's called is it sorry is that particularly offensive I'm
27:14
sorry no it's not offensive that you don't know what it's called it's
27:17
offensive that you're saying it's going to penetrate what is it for sorry what
27:20
is it for what is it Ed what is it for the no I don't mean I don't mean is
27:25
that not what it's for I mean what is it for I mean I thought that's what they did
27:30
with it I think it's the different nights of the um with the candles burned
27:37
on their uh high high holiday right okay all right well like I said if that was
27:43
if that was super offensive I'm I didn't realize what do you
27:47
mean how could it be taken in any other way if you were like oh it's a crucifix
27:53
there to [ __ ] Catholic yeah but everyone went all everyone went ooh like and I
27:58
thought it's like super offensive for some reason like that is what it's for
28:02
and we just don't speak no I just mean like if I had said oh yeah and like
28:07
priest grabbed the crucifix and put it inside of her no one would have batted
28:12
an eyelid but I probably would have gone just as quiet you didn't go quiet that's
28:16
that's the problem Luke you didn't go quiet you went ooh and that worries me I probably
28:23
exactly the same I've got a theory about this you want to hear yep sorry I'm
28:27
going back to the story I don't have a theory about the manora penetration
28:32
mintion we going to Jingle for manora penetration Mony
28:39
[Music]
28:43
Mony it's mononitration the name of this episode
28:49
yeah 150 women seems excessive even for
28:53
a pervert right yeah sure like 100 50
28:58
separate women right like that's a lot of women yeah
29:04
and but is he actually watching all of
29:06
them or is that just sling his is he
29:11
like is he is he what is he doing with this footage because I assume I mean I
29:17
don't know maybe someone can inform me on this as well I assume he's not
29:21
allowed to sit there and spank it to to pick to footage these shot of women I
29:25
think if he's got to this effort just sitting there in office spanking he's not
29:33
that that's probably not what he's worried about damning his Immortal Soul
29:37
so when he gets to Heaven he can be like I wasn't jerking off to it I just you
29:41
know just collecting him I was sucking a little baby's dick while I was watching
29:46
a little bit of ritual bathing yeah no but here's Here's my thought maybe when
29:51
this guy was in the rabinal you know he was a new Rabbi and he started in the
29:56
what the rabinal is that what it's like the priesthood did you make that up no
30:02
it's correct is that what they call it the reinle that's a great name yeah your
30:07
new band that's what I call the receptacle I put my Riner
30:12
in god wow I did not realize Matt hated the
30:18
Jews this much I know well you heard it here first folks
30:25
mtam hates Jews what since apparently W allowed to make jokes at all
30:31
about jeez um don't mention Jesus
30:37
the I'm thinking when he was a young Rabbi he first heard about these ritual
30:44
bath and he's like are you [ __ ] serious ritual baths like these women
30:48
together and bathing and that sounds [ __ ] hot and he was just desperate to
30:53
see it right so he set up his first camera right comes back later gets the
30:58
footage sits down puts the popcorn on or
31:01
whatever you do and watches it expecting to see
31:08
[ __ ] like Debbie Does Dallas level
31:13
of you know erotica right and instead gets a woman washing the
31:19
menstrual blood out of her vagina in the most unsexy way possible right oh yeah
31:26
and then he thinks to himself oh this is not what I this is not what I wanted and
31:30
this is not why I spent all that money on that hideable camera to put in there
31:36
clock radio Fortune I bet I bet it's just this woman I bet it's just this
31:42
woman I bet the next one is going to be the oy yeah sets it up again The Next
31:47
Day Watches it disappointed he's like [ __ ] two for two I bet it's the next one
31:51
and I bet 150 later he's still going I bet it's the next one the next one's
31:57
going to be the splash and the kissing and the soaping up of the boobs and the
32:02
minora the minori mintion the
32:08
minori wow
32:12
wow I want to be clear I think Jew are great I think Jew are
32:18
great I'm scared now no it's fine it's totally fine cuz you don't [ __ ] with the
32:25
Jews I learned that from Munich that's right I love Munich I I think I think it's a
32:30
fantastic movie I mean I love all of Bill Burg's films um but Munich is great
32:37
but we were jokingly calling it don't [ __ ] with the Jews before we'd seen it
32:42
and then 20 minutes into it bam Eric Banner goes don't [ __ ] with the
32:49
jewels it's like if there was any way to make that movie slightly better than it
32:54
could have been and they did it they're like oh people are going to be waiting
32:57
for him say it we'll make you say
33:01
it well can we get on to some uh another religion just so that I can make fun of
33:07
you know you can be absolved yeah I'll make fun of a bit of Catholicism yeah I
33:12
mean look I mean what's not to make fun of with the Catholics here yeah
33:16
yeah but this one's funny because uh Catholic priest this week I assume this
33:22
is what you're talking about um a Catholic priest dies and he's legally
33:29
dead for 48 minutes before he was revived this is in um Boston Boston
33:35
Massachusetts mhm um and when he comes
33:40
back he astonishes Everyone by saying I met God and she was
33:46
lovely right so you've heard it straight from
33:50
the priest's mouth God is a woman so what else does he tell us like
33:57
uh um so he says that um uh let's see here I'll I'll say in his own words he
34:03
claims that at the point uh he claims that at this point in
34:07
his experience he went to heaven and encountered God which he describes as a
34:11
feminine mother-like being of light
34:15
right okay um I wish to continue preaching says the elderly cleric I
34:21
would like to share my new knowledge of the mother the Son and the Holy
34:26
Ghost with all the Catholics and even all Christians but that's it God is a
34:33
great and Almighty being despite being a woman ooh you wrecked it you wrecked it
34:40
you wrecked it dude oh [Applause]
34:43
man so um so needless to say he is not
34:48
being allowed to take up his Parish
34:51
again yeah see I
34:55
mean he was dead for 48 minutes
35:00
um uh so I mean God knows what he well well suppose God doesn't know what what
35:05
what really happened uh in his his little brain like I wonder I guess he
35:12
he's does he believe this I guess well look a lot of people believe that
35:18
they've had near-death experiences and all all of them say similar things I
35:22
Rose above the bed I could see the room from above I saw a bright light I went
35:25
towards the light I went to the tunnel then I was called back back just in time
35:29
yeah um and I don't know if you guys know this
35:32
but um hospital emergency rooms and almost every country in the in the world
35:39
do this they've got strange things on high
35:43
shelves they might have a little figurine of a MOG or something Animal
35:50
from the Muppets right right that you cannot see from the ground right and
35:57
anybody claims to have had a near-death experience and risen above the room and
36:00
looked down on it they always say seeing anything weird up in the top corner and
36:07
not once has anyone ever identified one of these crazy objects I thought you
36:13
were going to say that they did and I was going to say
36:17
[ __ ] no no but I just I just want to bring this up though if I was
36:23
dying going up I don't care about something if you are rising above your
36:29
body and you can see yourself there in a room that's the emergency room and
36:32
there's the doctors and oh what the [ __ ] is that it's Animal from the Muppets as
36:37
if that's not going to stand out this gu's like I went I died went to
36:43
heaven and God was a woman like right right and uh what what's up on that
36:47
shelf what what's up on the Shelf up there I don't understand the question
36:50
well you didn't [ __ ] die go to heaven that's right yeah you slipped into a
36:55
fever dream and uh and now you're awake yeah yeah well you slipped into a death
37:01
and then slipped into a death and then now you're alive again um yeah cuz I
37:06
mean the tunnel thing is probably probably we all experience the
37:11
same thing when that happens like yes you know it's it's fairly to assume now
37:15
yeah yeah I mean that's that's not beyond the bounds of understanding do
37:20
you know what I mean I mean I mean close your eyes now it's not total darkness I
37:24
mean you can see patches of light no and if you like poke your fingers in there
37:28
you can make little shapes and stuff like that yeah don't push too hard it's
37:32
always poking something in something yeah all right well there's not a whole
37:36
lot of a whole lot of stuff to make fun about apart from you know the feminists
37:42
have gotten to the Catholic priest as well now well almost cuz I was going to
37:46
say I mean the feminists are going to love this guy until I got to the quote
37:49
about God is God is great despite being a woman yeah and I was like oh dude you
37:55
could have had it you could have had the feminist vote well it makes Bank it just
38:01
makes so much more sense for God to be a woman because oh here we go go on no no
38:05
no no it does though like that's just vengeful one moment and just all loving
38:11
and apologetic the next yeah
38:14
y um put her hat on your hair looks
38:19
silly I'm doing the Jews again sorry kicking you out of the garden if that
38:23
they have the same God yeah that's true they just don't have Jesus that's true
38:28
God's son they're like come back with your dad and we'll talk yeah prove it
38:35
prove [Music]
38:39
it well how about we move on and stay away from religion for a little while oh
38:45
all right fine du what do you suggest I need to know more about this selfie sex
38:50
toy sure well um I mean we've uh
38:55
repeatedly uh reviewed sex toys on this showw sex to are just getting weirder
39:01
and weirder well I don't know review is
39:03
probably a uh a a strong term yeah but
39:09
um basically the newest thing to hit the market is a vibrator with a camera in
39:16
it and the camera syns to
39:20
FaceTime just in case what actually gets you off about
39:26
the sex act is is seeing vagina's really really close
39:32
up and deep deep inside I was going to say I don't think you could I don't
39:36
think that's what you'd be looking at I think you'd be looking at I
39:39
mean the the the depths how long is this thing the thing's going to be right in
39:46
there yeah right in there right in there
39:50
I mean um are you doing this so you can watch it or are you doing this to show
39:57
so people I I don't understand has it got a light on it yes it has a light on
40:02
it okay it does oh I understand what they're using it for but not the
40:07
recording part oh yeah I you understand the vibrator bit but not the filming
40:12
part yeah yeah but I mean that you can get that already you don't have to pay
40:16
extra for it to have a camera in it right that's what I'm saying like I
40:22
If right if it's actually being used odds are you're not going to see much
40:27
that's of interest you know what I mean because well yes assuming so but like I
40:33
guess it just proves that people are interested in seeing some stuff I'm not
40:37
interested in seeing yeah and then on the other hand if if you did you know
40:42
wanted to have a look at uh you know what's going on down there just get a
40:46
camera and a vibrator and then you get a better view of
40:49
everything you know what I mean like I mean I I I don't know I feel like this
40:56
was a problem that didn't need Sol in unless people genuinely just want to
41:00
see inside well I guess they do I mean supply and
41:05
demand you
41:08
know interesting I I know doctors have cameras that
41:14
but I'll stop you there I know not quite
41:21
yeah I don't think it's quite uh quite the same oh this a little they've got a
41:27
little um pole down the bottom have you ever wondered what happens inside the
41:30
body during climax that's not really the question that needs to be asked here
41:36
like not only that even that is a question the answer is no well sure I've
41:41
like wondered you know what what happens kind of thing like on a medical level I
41:47
even thought I just want to see what's going on inside there like get a camera
41:52
up in there H the female organ is a my myth anyway that's true obvious
41:57
well I mean there you go this is no better than a Sasquatch vibrator
42:04
exactly Terry Terry have you
42:09
ever no he's not home never mind no he's not there never mind he's got a little
42:14
sasot penis inside of him little sasot camera inside of
42:21
him what are these controls on here we can't see them very well oh there's a
42:25
video I think it's for watching the video I think the controls are for sort
42:29
of speed and on and off just normal stuff right normal stuff I'm
42:36
just no I'm just looking it comes with a cable so you can plug it into computer
42:40
it's a very short cable I'd really be thinking you'd want
42:46
something yeah a bit longer H that's what she said yeah don't
42:52
worry about it Luke you're you are I've gone to the sidebar here because there
42:56
you know there's a few other sex toys that is fairly interesting here I don't
42:59
know if you'd call this a sex toy or not but women and uh you know well no only
43:06
women actually not women and just women who want to um become artificially
43:10
inseminated um have basically up until now had uh essentially a turkey base to
43:17
put inside of them like a huge eye dropper to administer the uh the sperm
43:22
um but now you can get a dildo that um
43:27
Cates actual human sperm at just the right moment so that you can um just the
43:33
right moment yeah so slightly too
43:39
early or not at all yeah or in your
43:44
sister not your sister who are you talking to doesn't
43:50
matter got sisters that's true and now I'm
43:54
scared all right well um
43:58
speaking of erotic things um as we all
44:03
know there's nothing sexier than My Little Pony we knew that right that's so
44:07
true I think Luke knows that don't you
44:09
Luke yep yeah my sex
44:14
Pony well there's uh obviously because it's the internet there are a number of
44:21
um artists who create erotic Works um featuring characters for My Little Pony
44:27
the ponies not I don't mean human characters I mean you know they have
44:32
draw pictures of little horses having sex and stuff um and one of those
44:38
artists um who um from what I can gather
44:43
he is a fan of a character from the show called Twilight Sparkle uh and he's also
44:49
um I love how Matt says that like he's never heard of Twilight Sparkle
44:53
before I'm assuming that's a kind of a
44:56
vampire um related yeah Pony um uh this
45:02
guy on his dvnr page has a bunch of sexy pictures of Twilight Sparkle um from
45:07
what I gathered they were created for him for his birthday or something but um
45:12
this is and this I mean this is not a new story but um so possibly there's an
45:17
update um coming next week when we find out more about it but uh he received a
45:22
letter um from a concerned uh I guess
45:28
um not fan uh just a concerned um by Little Pony fan let's say and I'll I'll
45:34
read you um some EXT from I've got the whole letter I you need to rephrase M he
45:39
didn't just receive a letter he received the greatest letter ever written yeah
45:44
all right it begins dear Kevin Sano that's the guy's username I guess this
45:49
may be the strangest message you'll ever receive but I do hope you'll take the
45:52
time to read it and consider what I have to say to put it simply I would really appre
46:40
[Music]
46:57
that I can hug kiss cuddle up to in bed and go to sleep with at night and take
47:02
out on the town to do all the fun things together that normal couples do I take
47:05
her out to eat at nice vegetarian restaurants I don't know why I guess
47:09
horses don't eat meat uh we go shopping together I take her out for coffee we do
47:14
social activities together like hanging out with friends seeing movies Etc it
47:16
goes on quite a bit so I'm not going to read all of it but you get the gist um
47:22
later on he makes it very clear don't get me wrong here though this isn't a
47:25
jealousy thing I'm very secure in my relationship I know with that question
47:29
you just you've just skipped over the best line in this oh okay sorry go ahead
47:33
it's been bothering me lately every time that I go on these okay so to back up a
47:37
bit he does admit he likes Pony erotica oh of course in fact
47:43
he says I often go on e621.net and Rule 34 to see what new erotic art people
47:49
have drawn of her but to me she's more than a cartoon character who's sexually
47:53
attractive she's my fiance who I love with all my heart and soon to be my wife
47:57
so it's been bothering me lately every time I go on these sites and see a dozen
48:00
or so pieces of art people have drawn to predicting my girl in various sexual
48:05
positions with the same person over and
48:07
over and that person happens to be
48:13
you so he says don't get me wrong though this isn't a jealousy thing I'm very
48:17
secure in my relationship I know without question that Twilight is faithful to me
48:21
as I am to her she's actually sitting on my couch next to me while I type this
48:25
yeah you also skipped over the part where he says he channels the thought of
48:29
her into this plushy that he has look there's quite a lot in there and I was I
48:34
mean I could read the whole thing but like I said it's quite long and we'll
48:38
link we put it in the notes yeah it's so good um yeah it's pretty excellent so
48:42
I'm not sure what the Fallout from this was whether um Kevin
48:47
Sano uh did indeed stop his uh you know
48:53
his erotic art um he um he posted the letter
48:58
obviously because we're seeing it so he's posted a copy of that on the
49:03
internet um so hopefully we'll have an update for you on that next week on uh
49:08
Twilight Sparkle Saga I guess we'll call we have a jingle for the Twilight Sparkle
49:14
Saga I'm sure we do Matt something tells
49:17
me we might do
49:24
yeah Twilight Sparkles
49:28
I I I have no idea what to say right so
49:32
look if you uh happen to be in love with
49:36
a cartoon character how would you how would you deal with
49:42
that well this is part where I'm confused he's in love with a cartoon
49:45
character but then he's got his plushy yes he says that when he's with
49:50
the plushy he feels her presence very real so it's kind of like when you're in
49:55
love with a ghost and the ghost channels itself into uh a carp yeah you're right
50:00
people probably can relate to that yeah that's right just just just to bring it into the
50:06
vernacular yeah so you've never been in love with a cartoon character
50:10
Luke I wouldn't say in love ah go on who's your favorite
50:17
Loki I don't think we need to get into this we do I think everyone's got a
50:21
cartoon character that they would like to Bonk nothing wrong with saying that
50:29
who is it ly who is it um who your was probably all right
50:35
fine I was a bit of a fan of rootch right MH yeah one of those big sexy
50:41
robots yeah and I'm trying to remember her name one of those boys that look like a girl
50:47
in anime oh no it was actually a girl that looked like a girl oh that wasn't liming
50:54
me I don't know who that is somebody from yahi porn I
50:59
guess that
51:03
anyway all right
51:08
listeners manga listeners if you think you know who it is that Luke's talking
51:12
about send us in some erotic artwork podcast at multipl nerdgasm
51:18
tocom is the email address you can um you can post your erotic art I guess if
51:23
it's not too racy on the Facebook page we don't want to get you trouble or I
51:27
was in trouble so you know well push the boundaries though yeah all right
51:32
facebook.com/ multiple nerdgasm or M nerdgasm on Twitter Twitter matters yeah
51:38
oh God speaking of Twitter Matt yes um
51:43
we did speak last week uh about the fact that you were about to
51:48
um uh discuss 50 Shades of Gray for us yes
51:54
in other words you're reading it so that we don't have to Yes um but we also
51:58
mentioned the fact that you put down The
52:01
Stand by Stephen King an excellent book without finishing it in order to start
52:08
50 Shades of Gray right and and I kind of mused that
52:13
uh Stephen King would just not be amused right at hearing that that happened yeah
52:19
probably so I did find Stephen King on Twitter and um I did I did send him this
52:25
message Stephen King Matt from multiple nerdgasm podcast stop reading the stand
52:30
to start 50 Shades of Gray care to comment so far no
52:36
comment I'm disappointed now I'm disappointed too but uh I'll keep you
52:42
posted I did try and find uh an email address for him MH uh and they make it
52:47
quite clear on his website that does not have Web Master yeah yeah I'm not
52:54
steephen King I will not be forwarding any Communications onto Stephen King
52:58
leave me alone yeah if you if you have questions or comments about Stephen
53:02
king.com I will answer them anything else forget about it
53:09
yeah oh never mind you guys know there's a dick
53:13
Cemetery in Iran I didn't yeah there's this place in Iram
53:20
called the khid Nai Cemetery they they
53:25
bury dicks there or uh no not to my
53:28
knowledge um it's ancient it's uh you
53:32
know many many hundreds of years old
53:37
right possibly thousands I don't know I'd have to research that but
53:43
um it's all dicks all the gravestones are biger wrecked dicks like you know
53:49
they they oh wow they are yeah they're all dicks I mean if you didn't know this
53:54
was a cemetery You' just think somebody did a whole bunch of Dick statues but
53:58
they're not they're all tombstones and um are they supposed to
54:02
be dicks yeah yeah because not only are there dicks there's a couple in there
54:06
that are boobs and there's some vagina ones in there too but mostly it's dicks
54:11
it's like 90% dicks oh felic architecture they really are dicks yeah
54:17
they're really dicks now the thing is the Iranians hate this thing you're
54:22
going to say Iranians hate dicks no but they they're very conservative yeah I'm
54:28
sure when it comes to dicks you don't see a lot of dicks in Iran right
54:33
right and so they [ __ ] hate that this thing is there you know because it's
54:37
like a Heritage listed site you know
54:42
yeah right but it's all dicks and it really just goes against their kind
54:47
of anti- Dick mentality that they is there a reason for it or they don't know
54:53
the reason for them hating dicks uh no I just more it's a reason why there
54:59
is a cemetery of dicks they do not
55:03
know I think well it says it's uh it's an example of felic architecture I guess
55:10
back in the day back back someone just wanted to make a lot of big dicks back
55:16
in y oldi times they were like you know what I want to be buried under something
55:22
that points out how big my dick was
55:28
so they assume that before Islam the people of that area had some kind of
55:33
fertility cult yeah that this represents yeah I think most cultures
55:40
did didn't they yeah that's right yeah yeah it's
55:45
interesting B Cemetery well I love this line on the Wikipedia page the isolated
55:51
Cemetery has become a popular tourist attraction in Iran and a source of amusement
55:56
[Laughter] yeah
56:01
excellent well now you know what kind of gravestone I
56:05
want yeah yeah and it's uh it's going to
56:09
be bloody and and a rabbi's going to
56:12
suck it every day Y and I want five
56:17
penises I hate to break it to you about but the the manora is actually seven I
56:21
thought it was seven it's actually seven yeah yeah cuz it was it was seven nights
56:25
that the candle didn't blow out and so it's a it's a seven pronged
56:29
candle well I was looking at a cropped photo in the background of the
56:34
rabbi I apologize well there you go I haven't offended anybody yeah in fact
56:39
maybe there's a five pronged candle five wronged candle and I want to see who you
56:46
actually have offended probably some Satanist cult you know with their with a
56:50
pentagram or something yeah they're hard to offend yeah exactly five pronged yeah
56:56
that's fine yeah five pronged
57:01
candleabra here we go
57:05
images there we go there's a bunch of
57:08
them so interior decorators I've
57:12
offended yeah yeah you're an interior decorator
57:17
sorry get a candle up
57:22
you go have a ritual bath uh oh I was actually trying to
57:28
hopefully try and find a five prong dildo and put it on the hopefully you'll
57:32
find one there isn't one I find that
57:36
very hard to believe I there's four I love this I just typed into Google five
57:42
pronged dildo and it comes up did you mean five pronged seal Mine mine's come
57:48
up with Urban Dictionary quilo a five FR dildo that currently
57:53
resembles the sorry a five pronged dildo that when used correctly resembles a
57:58
lotus flower imagine a double-ended dildo with another double-ended across
58:02
the center so it looks like a cross and then another dildo vertically at the
58:06
center and then this is this is a usage this is a cool party and all but what we
58:11
really need is a quilo I love the usage on dictionary but
58:18
Luke's right there is no five prong dildo in fact there's not even any
58:22
multi-prong dildos and that really surprises me this secondary
58:27
definition noun a crossbreed between a feathered writing utensil and a
58:34
dildo can be used for vaginal or rectal pleasure or
58:39
writing look speaking of phallic objects with multiple
58:44
prongs we've discussed on this podcast before the hilted lightsaber from the
58:50
force awakens trailer y right we have
58:53
take that seg God um
58:57
and I found out all the same [Laughter]
59:03
God I found out an interesting bit of trivia this week and it's that that
59:08
lightsaber was designed by Johnny IV from Apple yeah apparently he um he came
59:14
up with the idea yeah and he said this and Matt if you don't mind I'm going to
59:18
read out what he said and I'd like you to put the um the Apple keynote music
59:22
behind oh yeah yep absolutely okay I thought it would be interesting if it
59:28
were less precise and just a little bit
59:31
more spitty a redesigned weapon could be
59:35
more analog and more primitive and I
59:39
think in that way somehow more
59:43
ominous wow though um I'm excited cuz uh
59:49
you know I was a fan of the iMac and the
59:53
iPod so the ey light does it for
59:58
me I do want to know if it comes in different colors
1:00:01
though well if Johnny I's got anything to do with it it
1:00:06
does if if Steve Jobs was around one color and that's the color you want I
1:00:11
love this this is how it went they they did the first iPad just
1:00:15
in blue Johnny begged for it to come out in five colors Steve said fine five
1:00:19
colors you get five that's it they did it and he's like no [ __ ] it from now on
1:00:23
all iMac are white and they have been forever the iPad came in black or white
1:00:29
okay fine Steve Steve Jobs dies yeah the
1:00:34
very next thing Johnny IV designs 50 different colors yeah right and the
1:00:40
watch the watch has got like infinite [ __ ] designs well that's what I mean
1:00:43
the watch isn't there's like yeah right is they are they infinite I thought they
1:00:47
were 50 no there probably yeah infinite in 50 is
1:00:54
infinite that's umite I better just close this
1:01:00
multi-prong dildo window that I've opened up we can um we can ask Steve how
1:01:06
he feels about the um the watch on the weekend we would definitely ask him in
1:01:12
fact by the time you hearing this we would have already had our Seance and
1:01:19
already contacted the Ghost of Steve Jobs so I'm actually a little bit envious of
1:01:25
you right now because you know how it went and we don't so
1:01:31
ride in and let us know you live in a world where Steve Jobs answered all of your
1:01:36
questions we do not think about
1:01:41
that now um I was going to say if you've
1:01:45
got some questions for Steve um what did I just say Matt I know and then I
1:01:51
realized silly did I just say so we'll be asking the this last week too you did
1:01:58
this with the stories and you're trying to do it again we'll be asking the question
1:02:04
submitted to the kickstarter it's too late it's too late
1:02:09
we've done it this doesn't come out till
1:02:11
next Monday so we already done it yeah y fine look we're coming towards the end
1:02:18
of this week's episode but I really want to know Matt you completed Diablo I in 2
1:02:24
hours I you want to talk me through that sure so uh this
1:02:31
was uh I got diabl 3 on the Xbox One Y
1:02:36
and I finished it already on PC so I I knew you know I knew the story for what
1:02:41
story there is it's the story story is
1:02:44
not why you play Diablo yeah um Simon um
1:02:49
who lives in the UK mhm hi Simon um wanted to play some Diablo so um we
1:02:55
organized time on the weekend and I jumped on and he's already up to act
1:02:58
five which is actually the expansion ah and uh I created a new character cuz I'd
1:03:03
never played on the Xbox and he said I'm right at the end of the game uh I don't
1:03:07
know if you can join in and I said let's find out so my Crusader who was at the
1:03:13
time level four because I jumped in and familiarized myself with the controls
1:03:18
yeah he jumped straight to uh Act five towards the end of the game and leveled
1:03:24
up to level 20 26 I think um what he automatically leveled up no no no uh
1:03:30
within the first like hour or two did really well yeah because I'm surprised
1:03:36
you didn't get absolutely slaughtered with a level four I thought that would
1:03:40
happen which is why I thought this is going to be funny but but for some
1:03:44
reason whatever the maths is that um that they that they use we were both
1:03:50
able to kill monsters in in the game and
1:03:56
and progress which seems very strange like so you were
1:04:01
sharing the the experience points that you were gaining from killing monsters or I don't
1:04:08
know scaled back for you comparable he was he had clearly because
1:04:15
he was such so high level he had way more powerful items than I did because
1:04:19
he would loot stuff run out of inventory space drop things and I would pick them
1:04:23
up and I could not use these items like yeah right they were like way way too
1:04:29
powerful for me however fighting monsters we're both killing monsters at
1:04:33
at what seemed to be the same rate so uh but but my yeah my experience was like
1:04:40
went up insanely so I I don't know it was interesting so when you say you
1:04:43
finished Diablo I in 2 hours what you you didn't actually start it and finish
1:04:46
it I started it and then I skipped and then I finished
1:04:52
it okay but yeah I thought you may meant
1:04:56
start to finish not well skip the entire what did I just say but good you got to
1:05:03
you got to beat it you got to play the final battle Yeah well and it was like it was
1:05:09
mostly interesting because I thought that I would just get annihilated yeah
1:05:12
it's like do you remember when we were kids and we used to play games like
1:05:16
Double Dragon and it was fine if you were playing it on your own and it was
1:05:20
really fun if you were playing it with somebody else who was good at it and
1:05:23
took it as seriously as you but if you had a friend over who doesn't usually
1:05:28
play video games and was a bit [ __ ] at it you shared lives yeah if one
1:05:34
character just wasn't good and was just constantly getting hit then your shared
1:05:39
life was just plummeting it was the most frustrating thing ever that was like the main
1:05:45
problem in my life when I was nine was like how to overcome that other people's
1:05:50
incompetence God I wish for simpler times that's all for this week thank you
1:05:56
for listening and we hope you enjoyed the show if you enjoyed it then please
1:06:01
subscribe and itun to receive episodes
1:06:05
automatically we'll see you next time