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How I Manifested My Husband By Healing My Wounded Feminine Energy · Mindful Success Path

• 0:32
  Your wounded feminine energy might be standing in the way of you manifesting your husband and not just manifesting the husband but manifesting a healthy masculine energy.
• 0:42
  Provider husband and in this video i'm going to be breaking down Exactly how I healed my own wounded feminine energy and what that looks like To attract my husband and attract him very quickly I went from being single for like 10 years and in lackluster relationships and all kinds of problems To meeting him within four months of deciding that I was ready to manifest him And in this video i'm going to be explaining what a big part of that was which was Healing the wounded Feminine energy.
• 1:13
  So if that's something that you're interested in, make sure to subscribe and hit that notification bell.
• 1:18
  And also give this video a like, cause it helps us get it in front of more people.
• 1:22
  Hi, my name is Amanda Abella.
• 1:25
  Welcome to this channel.
• 1:27
  Where we talk about how to get the things that you want in life without all the extra chaos, stress, and struggle that most people are accustomed to.
• 1:37
  If you'd like to go deeper than what I'm going to be talking about in this particular video, then you can check out the links in the description below.
• 1:44
  Cause you'll find free resources, uh, also classes and things like that, that you can sign up for.
• 1:50
  Okay, let's get into it.
• 1:52
  So.
• 1:53
  What is wounded feminine energy?
• 1:56
  First of all, let's talk about polarity period.
• 1:59
  How about we do that?
• 2:00
  So usually when we are in relationships and.
• 2:04
  There's usually a more masculine pole and a more feminine pole, and this is what creates polarity like tube magnets.
• 2:11
  So in the sense of romantic relationships, you need polarity in order for there to be attraction.
• 2:18
  And a big part of what's going on right now, which has got a lot of women very confused and also some men very confused, is that it's almost like the polarities have switched.
• 2:28
  So, So in the last few decades, as you know, women have gotten more rights, at least in the West, as they've been able to work a lot more and make money, I think women are going to college at higher numbers than men are right now.
• 2:42
  It's been great for their careers, but it's caused a lot of confusion in, you know, in our society.
• 2:46
  Relationships because they're basically bringing the masculine energy that they have to use in their careers and they're bringing that into their romantic partnerships and it doesn't work.
• 2:58
  So a lot of times what ends up happening is you'll see a lot of women complaining that they are attracting very feminine men, men who are always in their emotions, men who don't have ambition, men who are asking them to go And a lot of this is also because women have been conditioned into this 50 50 nonsense and I'll get to that momentarily.
• 3:20
  Um, because a lot of what's going on right now is that women have been taught to negotiate against themselves in romantic relationships.
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  But that's polarity and how it works in relationships as a whole.
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  And right now there's basically a relationship crisis where you have a lot of women and also men complaining That either the women are complaining that the men are too feminine and the men are complaining that the women are too masculine.
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  So, let's get into what Wounded Feminine Energy is.
• 3:50
  Looks like, right?
• 3:51
  So wounded feminine energy, I think actually goes into different categories and different groups.
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  So I know online people tend to group wounded feminine energy into one big thing.
• 4:01
  And I personally found that to be a little bit confusing when it came to teaching it.
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  Uh, I have my moon in Virgo, so I like to categorize things and analyze them, which Helps me be a teacher.
• 4:13
  It also helps me pick up patterns because I've been coaching people, whether in business or their relationships or whatever came up really for the last 15 years.
• 4:21
  So in those 15 years of gathering data, mostly working with women in those 15 years, in their careers and their businesses, but inevitably romantic relationships would come up.
• 4:33
  In those conversations, I noticed that there are particular patterns and there are particularly buckets of wounded feminine that women would fall into.
• 4:43
  So the first bucket is what most people think of when they think of wounded feminine energy, which is someone who's a doormat, basically.
• 4:50
  So they have zero boundaries, they are a doormat, they don't speak up for themselves, that type of energy.
• 4:58
  This is a lot of times, I'll see this in business, for example, show up as Uh, women who can't get anything done, right?
• 5:06
  Because they're in their feelings all the time, or they indulge in the feelings, or women who constantly think that they are victimized by everybody else, right?
• 5:17
  So that's like one category of wounded feminine energy, which in my opinion is actually more difficult to get out of than the second category of wounded feminine energy.
• 5:28
  Which basically is the wounded feminine that comes off as Masculine.
• 5:34
  So this is when a woman has gone overdrive into masculine energy.
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  Sometimes this happens because life forced you into it.
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  Sometimes this happens because you were conditioned into it.
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  So that's the case for me.
• 5:48
  I'm actually a very feminine woman.
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  But I was conditioned not to be by the women in my family in an effort to protect me.
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  So that happens a lot.
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  Uh, you also have the cultural conversation in the West about equality and you are equal to a man.
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  And that's caused all kinds of confusion.
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  And in my opinion, at least when it comes to relationships, has caused women to negotiate against themselves.
• 6:12
  So they are overdoing it.
• 6:14
  Uh, in work and also in their relationships and just life in general.
• 6:19
  So, a lot of times this overdoing it is eventually, ask me how I know this, going to end up in your nervous system breaking down or your nervous system becoming dysregulated.
• 6:31
  It also shows up as hypervigilance.
• 6:33
  So, hypervigilance is when, uh, You know, you feel like you can't even take 10 minutes.
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  I've had clients like this.
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  They feel like they can't even go take 10 minutes to go meditate or rest or sit in a chair and do nothing because they're terrified that in those 10 minutes something in their business is going to blow up.
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  Something's going to go wrong.
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  There is some problem that they are going to have to go fix.
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  That is hypervigilance.
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  Hypervigilance also shows up as, uh, you know, breaking up with a guy before you break up with him, when things start getting intimate because you're like, well, if I break up with you first, then I don't have to worry about you breaking up with me because.
• 7:11
  You're a piece of shit and I'm hypervigilant and I'm like this and I'm super tight.
• 7:17
  Another way that it shows up is when women have way more energy going on up here in their heads rather than in their bodies.
• 7:24
  So the masculine pretty much represents the head, right?
• 7:28
  It represents The intellect, the feminine is more about the body and being embodied.
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  And there's so many women who are running around ragged over works in both their careers and in their relationships, that all their energy is up here, right?
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  All of it.
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  I will, I mean, I've done thousands of coaching hours over the last 15 years, and I can tell the difference between a woman who has all her energy up here in her head and needs to learn how to bring it down versus the woman who is relaxed.
• 7:59
  The woman who is relaxed is far more attractive to everything that she wants in life.
• 8:03
  The woman who's too much in her head looks like overanalyzing.
• 8:08
  Looks like perfectionism looks like you had a conversation with someone and you're spending the next two hours, reanalyzing what that conversation was and what you should have said versus what you actually said, instead of just accepting.
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  What you said that would be uh too much mental Energy rather than bringing that energy down shows up as anxiety.
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  A lot of women are complaining about burnout For example, I have a belief that a lot of burnout happens because we when we're overthinking We're actually using a lot of energy so you could spend all day doing literally nothing But you've been overthinking all day long and you're going to be exhausted By the end of the day, so that is a wounded feminine energy.
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  And then finally, it can look like control, right?
• 8:56
  Or controlling, as I should say, because you should have a level of control and you should have a level of mastery and control over yourself.
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  But there is a difference between control and control in, and women who are in wounded feminine energy of the.
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  Masculine and overdrive variety in that group.
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  They tend to, um, they tend to be very controlling and not be able to let go and lean back.
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  So in a lot of feminine spaces, you will hear things like, Hey, lean back.
• 10:27
  And I'm going to talk about that momentarily, what that means, what that might look like in relationships and also in business, but women who are in their wounded feminine energy of the, like I said, masculine in overdrive.
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  variety are in They can't do that.
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  It's not easy for them to lean back.
• 10:46
  It's not easy for them to surrender It's not easy for them to let go of control.
• 10:51
  This is where you get the stereotypical Nagging wife who treats her husband like her child relationship So that's what that is That looks like or you see a woman who is in hyper control of everything and the man man is like super laid back And not solving problems or anything like that and then she's solving all the problems So that's another way in which that shows up And again, we end up here for a lot of different reasons.
• 11:21
  Like I said, uh reasons like social conditioning Uh, with the birth of equality, you have women going to dates, uh, not knowing how to receive from a man and essentially negotiating against themselves and offering to pay half the bill.
• 11:37
  No provider man who's in his healthy, masculine energy and invited you out to a date is asking To pay half the bill nor is he asking you what do you bring to the table if a man asks you what you bring To the table one of two things is happening either you keep attracting the wrong dudes Which if you are attracted if you are attracting it, there's a part of you that's attracted to it, but that's a conversation for another time or sometimes Uh, because the men are very confused as well because of all of this going on.
• 12:11
  They just don't know, so they think asking you to split the bill is the polite thing to do so that they don't, uh, piss you off in case you are the type of woman who wants to pay half the bill and believes in all that stuff.
• 12:24
  The problem is women in doing so because they've been conditioned to do all this are negotiating against themselves.
• 12:31
  My husband is a very good negotiator.
• 12:33
  The man negotiates for sport.
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  And one of the things he has told me is that when you are in a negotiation.
• 12:40
  And a relationship is a negotiation.
• 12:42
  It's not just about feelings.
• 12:43
  It's also a negotiation and it is about communication.
• 12:47
  But when you are in a conversation about negotiation, you never want to negotiate against yourself.
• 12:53
  And what a lot of women are doing because of their conditioning is they're going into relationships.
• 12:58
  negotiating against themselves from date number one.
• 13:03
  And then they get confused later as to why the guy doesn't provide, why he doesn't fix her problems, uh, why she's got to pay half the bills, uh, why he's making her work and raise her kids at the same time.
• 13:16
  Uh, why he doesn't step up essentially why he doesn't have ambition because you negotiated against yourself From date number one you set the standard.
• 13:25
  So how do we start to?
• 13:28
  Heal this wounded feminine Energy so we can attract your husband attract a provider man.
• 13:35
  Maybe if you're already in a marriage Turn it around and get that polarity back.
• 13:40
  I'm going to share three strategies in which you can do this.
• 13:45
  So number one is focusing on yourself slash self love.
• 13:51
  So oftentimes what happens when we're in wounded feminine energy, and this refers mostly to that first group of women.
• 13:58
  I was talking about the, the doormats or the martyrs is another way in which That shows up is because you have put all your attention and all your energy on a man, right?
• 14:10
  Or all your attention and all your energy On your kids or all your attention and all your energy on your job So it shows up in different ways and essentially what ends up happening is that women are not nourishing themselves and refilling their own energy oftentimes because they don't understand how to refill themselves or how to recalibrate their energy or what that even means For a woman and again video for another time don't have time to get into it right now Let me know in the comments if you would like a video About that the point that i'm trying to make here is that you have women who are constantly making the focus of their life Something other than themselves and then whatever's left over at the end of the day is crumbs now I'm not saying that, you know If you want to be a stay at home mom, for example that that somehow means that you're not focusing on yourself I even if that's the case right oftentimes And at least, you know, when the kids aren't babies anymore, and maybe they're a little bit older, and you have more of that time to yourself, then you can do stuff that you like to do.
• 15:16
  You can do stuff that nourishes you on your free time.
• 15:19
  The point is, you're not giving all your energy out to other people.
• 15:23
  You're making sure to replenish yourself.
• 15:26
  So that's for that first group of wounded women, wounded feminine women that I'm talking to, because that's where you'll end up seeing women in situations where they're resentful of their husbands because they didn't go, they gave up their careers, or they are being resentful of their husbands because they're like Working all the time and basically being a slave at home Or they're just resentful period or they're a martyr and they're like, oh if I do all these wonderful things for other people then they're going to love me and then That doesn't end up happening, nor do you get respect.
• 15:59
  So the way to start getting that respect back is to start nourishing yourself and focusing on yourself, even if it's in tiny little ways.
• 16:07
  And then the second part of this one is self love.
• 16:10
  So a lot of times, and this is more for the second group of wounded feminine women that I was talking about.
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  A lot of times we've been taught to chase achievement.
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  We've been taught that that achievement, that job, that money, that career.
• 16:25
  That promotion that success that's what's going to keep us safe from a dangerous world Um other times it looks like that achievement is what's going to get love So for a lot of people right that achievement is like, oh i'm trying to get love from my mom Or i'm trying to get love from my dad still as you know They're trying to do that.
• 16:46
  So one of the things for me that I had to really learn how to do because I was more in the second camp of the wounded feminine energy rather than the first one is I had to let go of the achievements.
• 16:58
  I went into a season of this is not about achievement.
• 17:02
  I'm still in a season of this is not about achievements.
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  And the truth is that masculine men don't care about your achievements, right?
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  They are not looking for you to pay their bills.
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  Therefore.
• 17:15
  They don't really care about your achievements not because they don't care about you But that's not what makes them fall in love with a woman And another thing that a lot of women end up doing that where they negotiate against themselves by offering to pay half the bill Is they'll go on a first date and they just start talking about what they do for a living and most masculine men Don't care about what you do for a living In fact, if a man is asking you how much money you make Major red flag run in the other direction.
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  He's expecting you to pay his bills.
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  So that's, that's number one.
• 17:49
  Number two, and this applies to both camps of women is learning to receive.
• 17:55
  So I've been talking about this example a lot, uh, in this particular video where women have been conditioned to negotiate against themselves.
• 18:04
  Y'all played yourselves, right?
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  Or we got played, I should say, because that cuts off our ability to receive.
• 18:12
  What is the feminine?
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  The feminine receives from the masculine.
• 18:16
  The feminine is all about receiving.
• 18:17
  The masculine is all about giving.
• 18:19
  It doesn't mean that the feminine can't give.
• 18:21
  Uh, every once in a while, right?
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  It doesn't mean that it can't be reciprocal, but it means that if we're looking at the energies where most women feel good is in receiving.
• 18:30
  But again, we've been conditioned out of this.
• 18:34
  We've been conditioned to negotiate against ourselves, and we've been conditioned to cut off our feminine energy, and it's causing all kinds of problems.
• 18:42
  In our lives and in our relationships.
• 18:46
  So learning how to receive, uh, generally speaking.
• 18:49
  So for example, let's say you are a woman, you have a very successful business or career.
• 18:55
  You're working a lot, uh, learn how to receive from your team, right?
• 18:59
  How about you don't go put out all the fires and you let the people who work for you.
• 19:03
  Go put out fires or how about if you're able to do it?
• 19:07
  You hire help around the house and you receive that help and you receive that support Those are ways of doing it one Experiment that I did with myself when I was ready to manifest my husband and I was healing all this wounded feminine energy Mess that we're talking about in this video is I actually practice receiving from men all the time I will still do this to a certain degree You Right.
• 19:30
  But obviously I'm married now, right back when I was single, uh, I, I would receive dates, uh, if a colleague, a male colleague wanted to help me solve a problem, I would let him solve my problem, which is actually how I met my husband.
• 19:45
  Um, if.
• 19:47
  You know, uh, men just wanted to give to me in any way shape or form like, oh, hey, here's a free muffin Or I bought you a coffee or anything like that I would accept it if a man wanted to give me direction and admittedly i'm still working on this one As a recovering masculine woman.
• 20:06
  This is one i'm still working on Uh, if he wanted to give me direction of some kind I would learn to receive You That direction because more often than not, they were trying to help me particularly in business, right?
• 20:18
  Or they were trying to make my life easier in some way The problem is that most women have been conditioned into thinking that men are children.
• 20:25
  Uh, they're grown children.
• 20:27
  They're immature They don't know how to solve problems and all they do is bring you problems There's a group of men that is like that The majority of men are not actually like that and are trying to make your life as a woman easier Easier and part of our work that we have to do is we have to learn to let that in Well now obviously things are still a little different now because i'm married, right?
• 20:51
  So i'm not going out on dates or accepting coffees for random men or anything Like that, but for example, you know, we'll go to the gym in the mornings and we go together and our trainer's a guy And if I need help I ask for help if I don't know how to use a machine I will do that if he says do this with this machine.
• 21:10
  I'm going to follow the instructions If I need help at home, I'm Like if I have a business question, for example, I will go or a tech question, I will go ask my husband for help rather than trying to figure it out myself.
• 21:25
  Admittedly, like I said, because I was so hyper independent for so long, this is still something, uh, that I am working on daily because I tend to.
• 21:37
  Want to get controlling, which brings me to the next part of this issue, which is, um, I had to learn how to stop being controlling.
• 21:48
  And again, this is something I have to work on every single day.
• 21:53
  I had to learn how to lean back and surrender.
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  And at first that looked like, you know what?
• 22:00
  My whole life is changing.
• 22:02
  My whole life as I knew it is falling apart.
• 22:04
  You guys have heard the story in other videos.
• 22:07
  I'm in the unknown right now.
• 22:09
  I'm in the darkness.
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  I don't know where any of this is going.
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  I'm going to surrender to that.
• 22:14
  That is a very feminine thing to do because the feminine is essentially the unknown.
• 22:19
  Uh, and it can be very scary.
• 22:20
  Then we have to learn to surrender to that.
• 22:23
  So that was the first time I also started leaning back at work.
• 22:25
  I started working less and I started achieving less.
• 22:29
  Uh, one of my colleagues, Natalie Bullen, I think she's done a bit, talked about achievement fast.
• 22:35
  I've been on an achievement fast for like two years.
• 22:38
  I think we're going on three because my life is not about.
• 22:41
  Uh, achievement anymore and trying to get love in that way.
• 22:46
  Uh, but also in relationships, learning how to surrender, right?
• 22:50
  So there's learning how to surrender in life.
• 22:52
  Which that one I was generally good at but then there was surrendering in relationships learning to lean back, right?
• 22:59
  We talk about this a lot Online, what does this look like?
• 23:03
  Well one example of what that looks like when you're in relationship with a man is not going to go solve all his problems Because you believe that he's a grown man and he's an adult and he's going to figure it out That would be one example of leaning back another area in which this gets a little hairy You And a little, uh, intense for people is when a woman decides to lean back financially and desires that her husband be more in the provider.
• 23:30
  role, she has to lean back and she has to stop being controlling.
• 23:35
  And again, for those of us who've been hyper independent, most of our lives, not an easy thing to do, but a very good, uh, practice.
• 23:44
  So a lot of times what ends up happening is that women don't end up manifesting, you know, masculine men, or they keep ending up in situations with their husbands where they're very frustrated and Because they just don't give their husbands the chance to actually step up.
• 23:59
  And the way that you give the man, whether you're dating him on the dating scene or married or what have you, the, the chance to step up is you have to lean back and you have to stop doing so much.
• 24:10
  Um, I was, we were in our meditation class a few months ago because we've been doing a lot of trainings here in Mexico about energy, healing, meditation, neuroscience, a whole bunch of stuff.
• 24:21
  And we got to this masculine and feminine energy conversation.
• 24:25
  This was a few months ago.
• 24:26
  And there were a couple of wives in the group who were like, I have to do everything right.
• 24:31
  I'm managing the kids.
• 24:32
  I'm managing the house.
• 24:34
  I'm working.
• 24:34
  My husband basically does nothing is what they were saying.
• 24:38
  And there were a couple of us, right.
• 24:40
  Who had already learned what I'm teaching you in this video, who were like, you just have to let stuff slide.
• 24:46
  Right, like if the house isn't perfect, right?
• 24:49
  Let it not be perfect.
• 24:50
  Eventually, he's gonna notice and he's going to step up and start fixing some stuff, but you have to let go first.
• 24:58
  So it was a little experiment, uh, that they went to go do and sure enough, the more they leaned back, even though it was really hard and they wanted to control and they wanted to go fix everything, they had to learn to lean back and eventually the husband's Started to step up and solve problems around the house and help more around the house Become more ambitious so on and so forth So this is these are some of the ways in which I healed my wounded feminine energy to be able to attract my husband and also Maintain polarity in the marriage.
• 25:30
  This is stuff that you know, not only have I experimented with this I've seen clients experiment with this over the years whenever their relationship issues would come up because that's the thing is like When I'm coaching men, right, I can kind of keep it to business, right?
• 25:46
  And I can kind of keep it to money because men can compartmentalize a lot.
• 25:50
  Better than women can women not so much, right?
• 25:54
  So women like you can't have a conversation about business without also having a conversation about Family their kids their spouse their health everything they got going on in life because it's a lot more It's a lot more diffused attention Is probably one way of putting it which would be one of the differences between men and women So even though I would be coaching women on their businesses a lot inevitably Inevitably The marriage stuff would come up, the relationship stuff would come up, the dating stuff would come up, because for a lot of women, they could not compartmentalize it, and they shouldn't compartmentalize it, whereas when I was coaching men, very easy for them to compartmentalize, although I also learned a lot of really interesting things from men.
• 26:40
  In terms of, uh, relationship and the issues that they were having, but that's a conversation for another time.
• 26:46
  I hope you guys enjoyed this video.
• 26:48
  If you did, please give it a thumbs up.
• 26:49
  Let me know in the comments what, what resonates, which of these are you going to use?
• 26:53
  Let me know what kinds of video topics you would like to see in the future.
• 26:57
  Make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bell.
• 26:59
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