Latest / HOTLCAST / The Way Out
Transcript
- 0:01SPEAKER_00: Well, hello there, and welcome to the Hobblecast.
- 0:04SPEAKER_00: This is Matt and Ryan and Carver and Mark.
- 0:08SPEAKER_00: Yes, we are so glad that you guys have decided to join us to listen to this right now.
- 0:12SPEAKER_00: It is an awesome opportunity to be able to kind of gather together and just be able to talk about the things that are going on, not just in each of our lives, but with the people that are in our church and in our communities as well.
- 0:22SPEAKER_00: So, first thing I want to ask you guys is it it's noticeably colder the last day and a half or so.
- 0:29SPEAKER_00: It's like we are on the precipice of fall.
- 0:31SPEAKER_00: Has anybody else started to notice that yet?
- 0:33SPEAKER_00: I've been very excited about it.
- 0:35SPEAKER_02: I mean, I love fall, but I got in my car this morning.
- 0:38SPEAKER_02: I was like, oh, it's cold.
- 0:39SPEAKER_02: Like it was like the first day I got in my car.
- 0:40SPEAKER_02: I'm like, oh, this is a little chilly this morning.
- 0:42SPEAKER_00: And I would just like to point out for those of you who aren't able to see this, that there are two of the four people in this room right now in shorts.
- 0:50SPEAKER_00: So Yeah.
- 0:51SPEAKER_03: I listen, I walked out and I took a big old good breath of fresh air.
- 0:55SPEAKER_03: I was like, this is nice.
- 0:56SPEAKER_03: This is what I've been waiting for.
- 0:57SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm a summer guy all day long.
- 0:59SPEAKER_00: I love summer.
- 1:00SPEAKER_00: I think it's the best.
- 1:01SPEAKER_00: But I gotta be honest, I know that the dew that is on my car right now is gonna have to be scraped off in another six to eight weeks.
- 1:08SPEAKER_00: And I am not looking forward to that.
- 1:11SPEAKER_00: So but what we are here to talk about today is we want to follow up on what Pastor Kyle preached about on Sunday.
- 1:19SPEAKER_00: And we are still finishing off our Visa series where we were able to get two more testimonies and be able to hear, or three more testimonies, actually.
- 1:27SPEAKER_00: We had Mike and Jen Cook and Michael Walters kind of up there to be able to share some of their stories and the stuff that they've been through.
- 1:34SPEAKER_00: And I know that for me, I thoroughly love being able to hear stories where people have gone through something and you're able to see how God has taken that part of their life, no matter how messy it might be, no matter how scarred and broken we might look at it and feel that it looks, and be able to take it and say, I'm gonna take the most broken parts of your story and who you are and use it to reach other people and being able to hear that and see it and be able to have that be something that we see shared from our stage on Sunday morning.
- 2:09SPEAKER_00: I absolutely love this series.
- 2:10SPEAKER_00: I think it's great.
- 2:11SPEAKER_00: What are your guys' thoughts?
- 2:12SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, I I thought, I mean, I I think every I think every Sunday is awesome.
- 2:16SPEAKER_01: It's a highlight of my week.
- 2:18SPEAKER_01: I also think this past Sunday was the best one all year.
- 2:22SPEAKER_01: Um it was powerful, it was profound, it was it was really beautiful to get up and and and and see see those folks be so brave with their story and and kind of bear their soul to the world and be like, hey, look, there's a way out.
- 2:36SPEAKER_01: Because most people in addiction think they're extraordinary, they're broken.
- 2:40SPEAKER_01: They like, oh, you don't know, you don't understand, you don't know how bad my life is, you don't know how many it's like, yeah, okay, yeah, okay, sure.
- 2:48SPEAKER_01: And and and once you actually start to to open up those doors and and and and seek that healing, people like Mike Cook are dime a dozen, right?
- 2:58SPEAKER_01: And and he's a pretty extraordinary guy, but he's dime a dozen.
- 3:01SPEAKER_01: There's guys with OG sobriety out there whose life profoundly works, and and they were in a lot worse shape than a lot of these people walking around struggling.
- 3:09SPEAKER_01: And and but once you start looking, it's like God.
- 3:12SPEAKER_01: Once you start looking for God, you see him everywhere.
- 3:14SPEAKER_01: And and God works works with people with addiction in a in a pretty beautiful way if we show up.
- 3:20SPEAKER_01: And and I think this the these testimonies were just, you know, the you know, um Mike and Jen, and then then Mike uh um Walters as well.
- 3:29SPEAKER_01: Like, wow, it was it was beautiful and profound.
- 3:32SPEAKER_01: So it moved me.
- 3:33SPEAKER_03: I mean, hearing the way that God can change the lives of people, when you hear, especially like we've got all these people that we hear these stories of where God changed their entire trajectory, or once they chose to trust God to give it to God to be faithful to God, like it everything changed for them.
- 3:52SPEAKER_03: Like I know a guy who's about a month sober right now because he was like, Hey, I'm giving it to God, I'm trusting God, I'm letting God have control over this.
- 4:01SPEAKER_03: And it's been cool to like watch the life change happen because I mean, so many people that I look to as wise people, as people that have strong faith, you hear their testimony, and you're like, That's what you were like before.
- 4:14SPEAKER_03: And the way God just takes our hearts, takes our lives, and when we let Him be the driver, um, just flips everything on its head.
- 4:21SPEAKER_03: It's super beautiful to see and encouraging in your own faith.
- 4:25SPEAKER_03: Like, we like we're never too far gone, we're not too broken.
- 4:28SPEAKER_03: Like, God still is always trying to find ways to bring us back, to redeem us, to build us up.
- 4:33SPEAKER_03: And that's just such a fascinating thing where we feel like we're too far, we feel like we're not enough, we feel like we've made that one mistake that's too much, and it's like, oh no, we're done with you, and God's never gonna do that.
- 4:45SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, and yeah, because addiction is a whole man.
- 4:48SPEAKER_01: I mean, addiction feels like a well they they that you can't get out of, you know, and and so many people move to a place where they're just defeated with it.
- 4:57SPEAKER_01: And you know, oftentimes it takes somebody to come back, you know, come back down off the mountain, follow the path and go, hey, look, you're not you're not broken.
- 5:06SPEAKER_01: Look, look how broken I was, me too.
- 5:08SPEAKER_01: Right?
- 5:08SPEAKER_01: And and so yeah, I don't know.
- 5:10SPEAKER_01: I I think testimonies are are beautiful and powerful.
- 5:14SPEAKER_03: And were you here for Vices 2.0, Ryan?
- 5:17SPEAKER_03: Or was this okay, I thought so.
- 5:18SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
- 5:19SPEAKER_00: I remember being here for 1.0 and I mean he was part of 2.0, like he and Tara both shared their testimonies.
- 5:25SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness, yeah, because that's when he started that's actually when I first met Ryan for like the official time, was being able to talk to him then and be able to interview him and get that stuff squared away, and then to video the stuff for Tara.
- 5:36SPEAKER_03: I think that was around when Kyle made me preach too on Vice's.
- 5:40SPEAKER_03: Vices was actually one of my first sermon series that Kyle was having me like he would preach the week before, and I would study his notes, study his message, figure out a way to communicate the same points in my own way, and then preach it to the congregation.
- 5:52SPEAKER_03: So we let them know that we're like, hey, this is like a series we're doing with Brooklyn Campus.
- 5:56SPEAKER_03: And yeah, that was one of my most awkward sermons, was one of those vices ones.
- 6:01SPEAKER_00: What was the subject matter again?
- 6:02SPEAKER_03: Uh it was uh sex, uh, and I was a single man talking to a room full of married people, and it was uh it was an experience, and one middle schooler who had a lot of questions for her mom afterwards, so that was it was it was an experience for sure.
- 6:20SPEAKER_00: I assume that most of you recognize that I already knew the answer to that question, but I love hearing Mark tell that story every single time.
- 6:28SPEAKER_03: It is it is one of those that will never leave my mind uh as I uh go through my life.
- 6:33SPEAKER_00: So I mean, this is something that is not age-specific either.
- 6:38SPEAKER_00: It's not something where whenever you see that life change take place and that transformative thing happen, that it's only for, well, someone who's been, you know, a recovering alcoholic or someone who's recovering from porn or recovering from food addiction or recovering from any of those sorts of things, but you can see life change through Christ at any age and at any time.
- 6:58SPEAKER_00: And we've got Carver here, and I kind of want to hear from him what he's seeing in the lives of middle schoolers and what he's seeing in the lives of the youth when you see those life change moments take shape where you see someone who has just been making terrible decision after terrible decision, like take a step forward and they're like, Oh, wait, I maybe shouldn't do this thing.
- 7:20SPEAKER_00: What does that do for you in those moments?
- 7:23SPEAKER_02: Um, it's pretty powerful just to see them like understand that and like want to move past it because that's that's a really hard thing to do.
- 7:29SPEAKER_02: Is like confess to that and like be like, I need to get help with this.
- 7:32SPEAKER_02: But I think addiction affects us all in different ways.
- 7:35SPEAKER_02: Like, there's some really serious ones.
- 7:36SPEAKER_02: I think even for middle schoolers, there's some that like they they take super seriously, like some of them that have like a serious phone addiction, like they're just they're on their phone all the time.
- 7:44SPEAKER_02: It takes them out of the real world, and like that's something that gets in the way of their relationship with God, and that that's a serious addiction they're trying to get over because like their screen time is just insane.
- 7:51SPEAKER_02: And it's like so like sometimes the addictions we see aren't addictions that affect other people, but like and vice versa.
- 7:57SPEAKER_02: So it's like some person might struggle with this, or some person struggles like this.
- 7:59SPEAKER_02: It's like both are valued, and but we care about both of them, but they just they affect the individual in a different way.
- 8:04SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
- 8:06SPEAKER_00: And I mean, Mark, you work with a lot of youth too, and I'm sure you see similar things as well.
- 8:10SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's the stuff that they're facing is unlike anything that we faced when we were all collectively kids.
- 8:16SPEAKER_03: 100%.
- 8:16SPEAKER_03: Like the access they have to all the social media, all the like just the distractions.
- 8:21SPEAKER_03: Cause like, what did you guys do when you were bored?
- 8:24SPEAKER_03: You'd you have to figure out something to do.
- 8:25SPEAKER_03: You I did a lot of video gaming and movie watching.
- 8:29SPEAKER_01: I played in the woods a lot, yeah.
- 8:30SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, I mean I played outside a lot.
- 8:32SPEAKER_03: Now, like you even even just go into the bathroom, you just what do you do?
- 8:36SPEAKER_03: You pull out your phone and you scroll on it, or you play a game, or you do something.
- 8:39SPEAKER_03: Like, that's the normal response now.
- 8:42SPEAKER_03: Where instead of because I think I think boredom is a good thing because it allows you to be motivated to do something with the time you have when you're not doing anything.
- 8:52SPEAKER_03: But what we've done now is we've found the easiest craving to feed boredom, which is the smoothest, the simplest, the quickest fix, which is what do you do?
- 9:02SPEAKER_03: You pull out your phone and you start scrolling because there's just something about new information over and over again that like treats your brain in a different way.
- 9:09SPEAKER_03: And so it's it makes sense why it's it catches you and just snags you, and then you burn through time where you could have been doing something cool, productive, awesome, been spending time with people, going out, pouring into people, like, but instead you're kind of you spent three hours just scrolling TikTok, and so that's like the thought process I've had because I've I've like I like I get trapped in it too because I like what I mean I like watching random YouTube videos about science, psychology, biology, history, like geopolitics.
- 9:39SPEAKER_03: Like I get it's all sorts of random, weird things that I find myself in, and I have to kind of be very intentional.
- 9:45SPEAKER_03: Like I think you guys, I've probably told you guys before there's periods where I will delete my social media for like a week at a time because those are the moments where I'm like, mmm, this is snagging me, this is really catching me.
- 9:55SPEAKER_03: And I've lied to myself about this, and I'm sure everybody who has an addiction has lied to themselves about this, and it's like, no, I've got control over it.
- 10:02SPEAKER_03: No, I've got a handle on it.
- 10:03SPEAKER_03: Like, it's not actually that bad.
- 10:05SPEAKER_03: Right.
- 10:05SPEAKER_03: But then, like, you have to take a step back and be like, is it though?
- 10:09SPEAKER_03: Like, you have to actually empirically look at what's going on and see how is it actually are you being somebody that's doing good pouring out, or are you like I talk about consuming or pouring out with the students, or like you're you're doing one of the two.
- 10:25SPEAKER_03: Which one are you doing?
- 10:26SPEAKER_03: Are you just consuming and consuming and consuming and consuming like spiritual gluttony, or are you actually going and spending time with people?
- 10:33SPEAKER_03: Because like even just spending time with people having fun, I would say that's a form of pouring out, that's like fellowship, that's like spending time with fellow believers or like loving on somebody who's hurting, but it's easy to get caught.
- 10:45SPEAKER_03: It's very easy to get caught.
- 10:47SPEAKER_00: And I think that's one of the things that Kyle spoke heavily about in his sermon was the idea of moderation versus abstinence, where there are times where there are things in your life where you can look at it and say, Yes, I can do this thing, and I'm not gonna be taken captive by it, I'm not gonna be held hostage, it's not gonna take me and kind of drag me kicking and screaming down this road that I don't want to go down, versus the things in your life where if you look at it, you're like, Yeah, I can't have any part of this, I can't get even within uh an inch of that, or as soon as I do, I'm gonna have all kinds of problems and I can't handle what that looks like.
- 11:25SPEAKER_00: The hardest part, in my opinion, is not being able to choose which one.
- 11:32SPEAKER_00: I think the harder part is recognizing which one you need to be doing.
- 11:36SPEAKER_00: It's one of those ideas where you don't know what you don't know till you're in the midst of it.
- 11:41SPEAKER_00: Like you have people who have these addictive personalities where they end up making these choices where we can, from an outsider's perspective, look at that and be like, oh man, you you shouldn't go anywhere near any of that because I recognize right now that this is going to be a problem for you, and they're fully convinced that moderation is the answer for them whenever abstinence was actually the right choice.
- 12:06SPEAKER_00: And watching people walk through that is one of the harder things to do in ministry, is being in that position where you give the good advice, you give the godly counsel, you give the wise counsel to whatever they're about to go through, and then you still watch them make sometimes these incredibly toxic choices, and that makes it really complicated.
- 12:27SPEAKER_00: I mean, for each of you, as you've been doing ministry for either doing ministry or being in ministry for a while now, I mean, collectively we have many years of experience kind of sitting around this circle in one way or another, either through personal experience, through life experience, through attending church, or through pastoring, as we're looking at all of those collective moments, what are the times where you've seen people either making the right choice and have it be inspiring, or making the wrong choice and seeing it be toxic?
- 13:00SPEAKER_02: Um, I see you see it a lot with um like students with like how they use their social media because like they'll come to youth group all the time and then they'll they'll go to the school and they'll like they'll tell you like I told all my friends to come to youth group, and then you'll see their social media and it's like opposed to them swearing, or it's like opposed to it's like oh you shouldn't oppose that if you're gonna go and tell all these people this.
- 13:20SPEAKER_02: It's like it's like that can be super off-putting because like you're going and saying one thing and then doing something completely different, and it's like you you're trying to live two sides, and it's like it's it just messes with people and confuses them, and it's it's having a worse effect than you think it is.
- 13:34SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I think that that is something that we see kind of regularly is that there's a lot of people that do that.
- 13:41SPEAKER_00: There's so many people that will post, you know, in one post, it's gonna be for adults especially, one post where it's you know, this was you know, inspiring and it was, you know, God honoring, and they post scripture or whatever, and then their very next post is political, one side of the aisle or the other, doesn't matter which side you're on.
- 14:00SPEAKER_00: That's usually what you see, is that one post is this is godly, it's loving, it's god honoring.
- 14:06SPEAKER_00: I want to be able to show people my spiritual side, and then they immediately turn around and go partisan politics on the other end of it.
- 14:12SPEAKER_03: Or they put personal beef on Facebook where they're like cussing out somebody for something they didn't like that they did or something that yeah, they said to their kid or their whatever, which like makes sense as a parent you want to protect your kid, but that you're not you're not honoring anybody in that situation because watching comments on like a Facebook fight is very entertaining.
- 14:33SPEAKER_03: One of my favorite things is if you see a bunch of laughing emojis, that person is not actually laughing, they're just trying to make it look like they're winning the fight.
- 14:41SPEAKER_03: It's like, oh yeah, like you're so ridiculous, laugh emojis.
- 14:47SPEAKER_03: That's it's normally when you see a Facebook fight in the comments, it the person's actually genuinely mad and just trying to win the fight.
- 14:54SPEAKER_03: So it it doesn't do any good though.
- 14:57SPEAKER_03: All it does is stir up problems, stir up issues, and you can't actually resolve anything without talking to anybody.
- 15:02SPEAKER_03: And I know that's not their goal, but that's the whole point of it.
- 15:05SPEAKER_03: They're not showing what they ought to, they're not doing what they ought to.
- 15:08SPEAKER_03: They're almost addicted to just like getting their anger out, and it it makes sense, like you're just reacting to what you're feeling, you're which is that's that's what people often do.
- 15:18SPEAKER_03: They had the feeling hit them and then they do something.
- 15:20SPEAKER_03: I keep I talk about a lot with the students at Jackson, where like there's a difference between how you feel and what you do.
- 15:27SPEAKER_03: How you feel is what hits you in the moment, what you do is how you respond to it.
- 15:31SPEAKER_03: Like you can't stop an emotion from happening, but you can stop it from d dictating your decision that follows.
- 15:38SPEAKER_03: And that's not easy for even adults to do.
- 15:40SPEAKER_03: So that's like for me, I'm like, for the students, I'm like, you guys have the opportunity to shape your minds now so easily then more easily than an adult can to make that conscious effort, that conscious choice.
- 15:51SPEAKER_03: Because I know I struggle with it sometimes, like I'm not always perfect about it.
- 15:55SPEAKER_03: Like, I'll I'll be a little frustrated about something at the house, and I will I will I like I just I'm a loud person, so I'll just like go ah and then Bree's like, what's wrong?
- 16:03SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, No, no, no, I'm just the cat peed on my shorts, okay?
- 16:07SPEAKER_03: Like, I'm not that's it's it's okay.
- 16:10SPEAKER_03: Right?
- 16:11SPEAKER_03: Surprise, surprise.
- 16:12SPEAKER_03: So, but like there's sometimes where like for her that's unsettling because she's had experience where like then she becomes the target if other people are mad around her, and I don't want her feeling that way.
- 16:21SPEAKER_03: So, like, that's something I'm like I did it the other day.
- 16:23SPEAKER_03: I like I got mad because the cats peed on the clothes, because if we leave them on the ground for a little while, like they just for some reason think that that's their new litter box because it was in the room where their litter box used to be.
- 16:33SPEAKER_03: And so like I got mad, and then I went, I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
- 16:37SPEAKER_03: I should have taken a moment before doing anything or responding or do like reacting at all.
- 16:42SPEAKER_03: I'm sorry about that.
- 16:44SPEAKER_03: So like I know it's a thing, it's a process, like whatever you're going through, it is.
- 16:50SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, well, and and and you know, I I think when because I I I hear you on that, I I think when we when we dig all down to this, what we're really talking about is like emotional sobriety.
- 16:59SPEAKER_01: Oh, sure.
- 17:00SPEAKER_01: So we we we we put a lot of emphasis on alcohol because in our society alcohol is a huge problem, but really in reality, people are just trying to escape their own emotional drunkenness, right?
- 17:11SPEAKER_01: I mean, they're they're trying to they're trying to not be in charge of their life.
- 17:15SPEAKER_01: And and I think that kind of to what you're saying, Mark, yeah, if you catch that snowflake when it just lands on the top of the mountain, it's easy.
- 17:22SPEAKER_01: Yep, yep, got it.
- 17:23SPEAKER_01: I I messed up, I apologize.
- 17:25SPEAKER_01: But often what people do because because we run and hide, just like just like Adam and Eve, right?
- 17:30SPEAKER_01: Like we run and hide.
- 17:32SPEAKER_01: So we we take that's that little snowflake and we roll it, and we roll it.
- 17:36SPEAKER_01: And oftentimes we don't, especially people who are real addicts who who are really stuck with that, we we actually don't do anything about our snowball till it's already rolled down the mountain and took out half the town.
- 17:47SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and and then we have to do something about it.
- 17:50SPEAKER_01: And and I think that for me, and I've learned through time, I've rolled that snowball down the mountain, crashed the town more than once.
- 17:57SPEAKER_01: And so I think for me, like that idea of abstinence, anything that I can abstain from that's a racket for me, that I know that it's something I do, but there's a persistent complaint attached to it, those are the things I gotta go, nope, I can't do this, this can't be in my life.
- 18:10SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I I just had breakfast with Rob Freeman.
- 18:12SPEAKER_01: We he's like my mentor, and we had a big nice conversation about this.
- 18:16SPEAKER_01: Like, yeah, I I just don't, you know, things I can't do, I don't do.
- 18:19SPEAKER_01: And and because they if they don't bring value in my life and they don't glorify God, then I just don't do them.
- 18:24SPEAKER_01: And and I gotta be that way.
- 18:26SPEAKER_01: Because I I can make a racket out of anything because I'm a real addict.
- 18:29SPEAKER_01: And and and I think the more that the people really get honest with themselves, I think I think most people are addicted to their own significance, and I think most people are willing to get get drunk on their own emotions to not deal with reality, because really that's what we're talking about.
- 18:46SPEAKER_01: Sin is our is the devil's way to help us not deal with reality.
- 18:50SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I gotta be honest for anyone who's listening to this, if you have a piece or a portion of your story from the past where you have walked down this road, don't just kind of bury it and cover it up and don't talk about it.
- 19:04SPEAKER_00: Let your testimony and the thing you've been through be something that you share.
- 19:09SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna leave you with one of my favorite lines from the TV show The West Wing.
- 19:14SPEAKER_00: It is a story that a guy tells, and he said, So there's this guy walking down the street and he falls in a hole, all right?
- 19:19SPEAKER_00: He said, Whenever the guy falls in the hole, he's in the hole, he's like yelling up to people trying to ask for help.
- 19:24SPEAKER_00: He's in this hole that's so deep he can't climb up the sides, he can't get out.
- 19:28SPEAKER_00: This this doctor walks by and the guy's like, Hey, Doc, can you help me out?
- 19:32SPEAKER_00: I'm down in this hole.
- 19:33SPEAKER_00: I need some help.
- 19:34SPEAKER_00: The doctor writes a prescription and he throws it down in the hole.
- 19:37SPEAKER_00: The guy's no better off than what he was before.
- 19:39SPEAKER_00: Then another guy comes walking by.
- 19:41SPEAKER_00: It's a priest.
- 19:42SPEAKER_00: The priest, you know, hey, father, can you help me?
- 19:44SPEAKER_00: I'm stuck down in this hole.
- 19:46SPEAKER_00: So the priest writes out a prayer and he throws it down in the hole and walks past the guy.
- 19:51SPEAKER_00: Finally, a third guy comes up and it's a friend.
- 19:54SPEAKER_00: And the guy yells up, Hey, Joe, I'm stuck down in this hole.
- 19:56SPEAKER_00: Can you help me out?
- 19:58SPEAKER_00: Joe hops down into the hole.
- 20:00SPEAKER_00: Our guy looks at him, he's like, Are you stupid?
- 20:02SPEAKER_00: No, we're both stuck down here.
- 20:04SPEAKER_00: And Joe says, Yeah, but I've been down here before and I know the way out.
- 20:09SPEAKER_00: Having that be a part of what you do is taking your story and using that moment and using that experience and using what God did to be able to show somebody else that there is hope, that there is opportunity, and that there is a God in heaven who loves them and wants to lead them on to better things is one of the best possible things you can do.
- 20:30SPEAKER_00: So be sharing your story, be letting people know what's going on.
- 20:33SPEAKER_00: And until next time, we will catch you on the next hodl cast.