Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #367 Tip For the Day - Competent Then Confident

Transcript

#367 Tip For the Day - Competent Then Confident · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

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  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Family's podcast.
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  Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just
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  Speaker 2: wants answers Now Gooday. This is doctor Justin Coulson. It's
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  Speaker 2: a holiday in Queensland today, so we're keeping it really short,
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  Speaker 2: really simple, so we can focus on time with our
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  Speaker 2: family and you can focus on time with yours. Today's
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  Speaker 2: podcast just a sixty second tip for making your family happy.
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  Speaker 2: For the past several decades, lots of experts have told
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  Speaker 2: us that praise boosts our kids' confidence. While this can
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  Speaker 2: be true in some instances, research has consistently called this
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  Speaker 2: idea into question. In fact, a lot of research shows
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  Speaker 2: that praising our kids can actually undermine their confidence. In
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  Speaker 2: his book The Optimistic Child, professor Martin Seligman stated that
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  Speaker 2: if we want our children to be confident, they have
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  Speaker 2: to be good at something or competent. We don't get
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  Speaker 2: confident kids though through praising them. Praising ironically creates kids
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  Speaker 2: whose confidence is shallow and can crumb at the first
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  Speaker 2: sign of failure. If you've ever watched Australian Idol all
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  Speaker 2: those years ago, you'd know that would be a testament
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  Speaker 2: to that idea. Instead, confident kids do at least one thing. Well,
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  Speaker 2: they don't have to be the best, so long as
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  Speaker 2: they feel competent, whether it's music, sport, art or something
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  Speaker 2: unique to them. Competence boosts confidence. If you want your
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  Speaker 2: kids to be confident, help them to become competent, and
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  Speaker 2: then instead of praising them, do one of two things.
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  Speaker 2: Ask them how they think they're going, or say thanks
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  Speaker 2: because you appreciate what they're doing. I've written more about
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  Speaker 2: it in my book Nine Ways to a Resilient Child,
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  Speaker 2: and you can download a webinar all about the perils
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  Speaker 2: of praise from my website at happy families dot com
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  Speaker 2: dot au.
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  Speaker 1: It's a Happy Families podcast for a happier family. Try
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: a Happy Families membership because a happy family doesn't just happen.
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  Speaker 1: Details at happy families dot com dot au.
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  Speaker 2: Thanks so much for listening to the Happy Families Podcast.
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  Speaker 2: Really appreciate that, even on a holiday day, at least
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  Speaker 2: here in Queensland, that you're taken some time out to
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  Speaker 2: make your family happier. The podcast is produced by Justin
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  Speaker 2: Ruland from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our executive producer.
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  Speaker 2: We love making families happier. If you'd like to find
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  Speaker 2: new ways that you can make your family happier, or
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  Speaker 2: even join up with the Happy Families membership. You can
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  Speaker 2: find all the info you need either at our Facebook page,
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  Speaker 2: Doctor Justin Colson's Happy Families or at happy families dot
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  Speaker 2: com dot au