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Authentic Communication: The Key to Trust & Connection · How To Talk To Humans

• 0:00
  Larry Wilson: Hi, this is Larry Wilson, and this is How to Talk to Humans.
• 0:04
  Larry Wilson: This is the podcast that shows you how to improve your communication skills.
• 0:10
  Larry Wilson: Are you looking to get a better job?
• 0:12
  Larry Wilson: Are you looking to find a relationship?
• 0:15
  Larry Wilson: Are you trying to do things in your life that have frustrated you and eluded you so far?
• 0:21
  Larry Wilson: I can show you so easily how to change that.
• 0:25
  Larry Wilson: Now, I can only do it with humans.
• 0:27
  Larry Wilson: If you're looking to deal with vampires or zombies extraterrestrials, this is not the joke.
• 0:32
  Larry Wilson: But if you're really looking to improve your communication skills, I can show you what I've learned for 40 years in the show business working with the biggest celebrities and superstars in the world.
• 0:47
  Larry Wilson: And their secrets are unbelievable.
• 0:51
  Larry Wilson: What I'm going to be teaching you during the course of this podcast every week are tools that you can use to communicate toward success.
• 1:04
  Larry Wilson: Hi, thanks for joining me again for another episode of How to Talk to Humans.
• 1:12
  Larry Wilson: I wanted to talk today about the power of authenticity.
• 1:20
  Larry Wilson: I was going to frame it in even larger terms of the real world versus the digital world.
• 1:28
  Larry Wilson: That may be too big to start with, so let me try to focus in a little bit.
• 1:34
  Larry Wilson: Many of you know I frequently have spoken about the power of authenticity, have heard me talk about the three C's, that is, to connect, convey, and create.
• 1:49
  Larry Wilson: And that third C is to create authentic bonds with people.
• 1:55
  Larry Wilson: I'm not just asking you to connect with them.
• 2:00
  Larry Wilson: I want them to feel something genuine when you do.
• 2:05
  Larry Wilson: And when you do, you will find that those bonds, when they're authentic, last a lifetime.
• 2:12
  Larry Wilson: I've regaled you with tales here, so many stories of events that have happened all throughout my life with people that really created a powerful, authentic bond.
• 2:26
  Larry Wilson: I remember them to this day.
• 2:28
  Larry Wilson: I'm sharing them with you.
• 2:30
  Larry Wilson: But I know that if you think about your own personal experiences, you know there's things that have happened to you with people and communication, and maybe maybe could be fleeting.
• 2:44
  Larry Wilson: It might not be a big involved relationship with someone.
• 2:47
  Larry Wilson: It might be something fleeting.
• 2:50
  Larry Wilson: I just popped in my mind.
• 2:53
  Larry Wilson: An example yesterday in Costco, I thought, oh, I'll get a soft drink here as I'm going through.
• 3:03
  Larry Wilson: And the young guy behind the counter said, It's on the house.
• 3:08
  Larry Wilson: And I said, Really?
• 3:10
  Larry Wilson: Why is it on the house?
• 3:13
  Larry Wilson: He said, Well, he said, you know, if you buy the hot dog and drink, uh, you get a drink with your hot dog, but sometimes people don't want to drink.
• 3:23
  Larry Wilson: He said, so I just set those cups aside and I give them out randomly to people.
• 3:30
  Larry Wilson: And not only did I find that so charming, but also it had such a great feeling of generosity and benevolence.
• 3:42
  Larry Wilson: His name was Ryan.
• 3:44
  Larry Wilson: I can tell you, check back with me a year from now, I'll still remember this kid's name, Ryan, saying, your soft drink is on the house.
• 3:55
  Larry Wilson: Uh, you know, so it doesn't have to be a gigantic, huge event in your life for it to create an authentic bond with you.
• 4:04
  Larry Wilson: With this in mind, I know that many of you listening to this podcast, watching this podcast, or involved in business, whether it's a side hustle, whether you're an entrepreneur, you're just a one-person operation, or maybe a very small operation, two or three people, something, something you've created.
• 4:31
  Larry Wilson: This is something foundational that could change the outcome of your business.
• 4:39
  Larry Wilson: And it's very simple.
• 4:41
  Larry Wilson: Very simple.
• 4:42
  Larry Wilson: I don't think that's I think we are inclined to lean towards things that make sense to us or appeal to us, or have something about it that we are attracted to.
• 5:08
  Larry Wilson: I think that may be all it is.
• 5:10
  Larry Wilson: But in this current world we find ourselves in, there's a lot of digital business that goes on that is devoid of any human qualities.
• 5:26
  Larry Wilson: I don't mean, again, I want to make this clear, I don't mean they're purposely trying to be devoid of those qualities.
• 5:35
  Larry Wilson: I just mean that the way the internet works, some of the marketing, some of the sales techniques, the people who are implementing them do not give a moment's consideration to anything human.
• 5:54
  Larry Wilson: They're looking at numbers.
• 5:57
  Larry Wilson: That's it.
• 5:58
  Larry Wilson: That's all it is.
• 5:59
  Larry Wilson: Just numbers.
• 6:00
  Larry Wilson: And they may be thinking, well, you know, if I can reach 1.6 million people, then I can get a click-through rate of half of 1%.
• 6:14
  Larry Wilson: And of that half of 1%, I can get a conversion rate of 1.5%.
• 6:20
  Larry Wilson: That's all they're looking at.
• 6:22
  Larry Wilson: Now, I I must confess I have a bias because that's so different than my life experience that it's a little hard for me to wrap my head around that.
• 6:36
  Larry Wilson: Uh I realize it's effective.
• 6:41
  Larry Wilson: I've seen people build multi-million dollar, billion-dollar companies.
• 6:47
  Larry Wilson: I have a good friend who built a multi-million-dollar company.
• 6:55
  Larry Wilson: We using that exact mindset, that it was just about the numbers.
• 7:00
  Larry Wilson: We're going to do this, we're going to try and hit this, we're going to try and market this.
• 7:04
  Larry Wilson: We don't care if we offend people, we don't care if we alienate people, we don't care if we confuse people.
• 7:12
  Larry Wilson: Doesn't matter.
• 7:13
  Larry Wilson: Now, uh hopefully you're you're not doing something that's evil.
• 7:19
  Larry Wilson: I'm hoping you're not doing something that's aimed at hurting people or making their lives worse.
• 7:26
  Larry Wilson: I'm hoping that you're involved in a business that means something to you and that you have a product or a service that brings real value to people.
• 7:36
  Larry Wilson: It doesn't have to be everyone.
• 7:38
  Larry Wilson: It doesn't mean it has to be the universal panacea for the world.
• 7:44
  Larry Wilson: It just means that, you know, somebody, maybe it's people who love gladiolas.
• 7:50
  Larry Wilson: Maybe you have some way to raise them indoors, or I don't know.
• 7:54
  Larry Wilson: But I would caution you about a very simple mistake you can sidestep in your digital marketing.
• 8:06
  Larry Wilson: And of course, it speaks to authenticity.
• 8:12
  Larry Wilson: Do not say, write, suggest anything that is not true.
• 8:22
  Larry Wilson: Now I know there's people out there who immediately say, what about when they say new luxe dish soap is, you know, twice as much cleaning power and they know it's not really twice as much.
• 8:38
  Larry Wilson: Well, I don't know anything about that.
• 8:40
  Larry Wilson: I don't care what other people do.
• 8:42
  Larry Wilson: I know that people make all kinds of promises.
• 8:46
  Larry Wilson: They offer opportunities or bargains or special deals that they have no intention of honoring.
• 8:57
  Larry Wilson: I'm talking about you and how you can be more effective, be more successful.
• 9:04
  Larry Wilson: The sobriquette of this show is communicating towards success.
• 9:12
  Larry Wilson: It's not just a log line, it's a real mindset communicating toward success.
• 9:22
  Larry Wilson: Perhaps if I give a more concrete example.
• 9:26
  Larry Wilson: Like all of you, my email is clogged all the time with offers and bizarre come-ons and all kinds of things.
• 9:35
  Larry Wilson: And I've gotten to the point where I can scan them pretty quickly.
• 9:39
  Larry Wilson: I can sometimes just tell by a misspelling.
• 9:44
  Larry Wilson: If someone purports to be from Amazon, but there's a misspelling in the log line, I know it's not really from Amazon.
• 9:53
  Larry Wilson: Amazon's not going to send that out with a typo in it.
• 9:57
  Larry Wilson: So it's some kind of fake thing coming from someone.
• 10:00
  Larry Wilson: So I'm delete, delete, delete, delete.
• 10:03
  Larry Wilson: Um, I saw something recently when I was deleting something about with my email address.
• 10:10
  Larry Wilson: Didn't actually have my name, just had my email address, and it said something about your data account is going to be deleted or something.
• 10:21
  Larry Wilson: And so the first time I didn't open anything.
• 10:24
  Larry Wilson: I never opened anything like that, but I looked at what it was, and it was about something to do with storing data, and I thought, this has nothing to do with me.
• 10:34
  Larry Wilson: This is some kind of phishing attempt to get me to click on this, just deleted it.
• 10:38
  Larry Wilson: Well, subsequently, I've seen it come up several times.
• 10:41
  Larry Wilson: I immediately delete, immediately delete.
• 10:43
  Larry Wilson: This morning, there were four different emails from the same address, and they came about two hours apart, each one.
• 10:56
  Larry Wilson: And they said, Warning, this is your last chance to do something with my data account that I whatever it was.
• 11:08
  Larry Wilson: And I thought, wow, this is so self-defeating.
• 11:16
  Larry Wilson: I mean, I'm not rooting for the scam artists, I'm not on their side, but I can't help but look at stuff through the lens of communication.
• 11:28
  Larry Wilson: I'm looking at what works, what doesn't work.
• 11:31
  Larry Wilson: If I see scammers doing something that works and it's just technical, I'll think, oh, that's really good.
• 11:39
  Larry Wilson: Now, if it's unethical or illegal or something, I don't want any part of that.
• 11:44
  Larry Wilson: But I thought, maybe it's someone who doesn't speak English as their first language.
• 11:51
  Larry Wilson: I don't know.
• 11:54
  Larry Wilson: But if you send me multiple emails that say this is your last chance, well the evidence clearly states it is not my last chance.
• 12:09
  Larry Wilson: Ergo, this must all be fictitious.
• 12:16
  Larry Wilson: I never want anyone to think that about you.
• 12:22
  Larry Wilson: If you say, for example, if you're offering something and you're offering a special sale, it could be for any reason.
• 12:30
  Larry Wilson: Maybe it's a product that you have a lot of back stock on that you have more than you want to have, or maybe it's a a service that you have, and you have certain people who work for you and you want to get them working, just to have them working right at this, it could be anything.
• 12:51
  Larry Wilson: There's nothing wrong with saying, oh, I have a special opportunity for you, or I have a special deal, or a special offer, um, I have a gift for you, whatever it may be that you're offering.
• 13:05
  Larry Wilson: But if you say anything in that offering that is demonstrably untrue, you've violated that covenant that was implied with the person who received your message.
• 13:25
  Larry Wilson: And once you violate that covenant, they're done with you.
• 13:30
  Larry Wilson: I mean, maybe, maybe there's some marketer out there who's so brilliant, you can insult and offend and alienate customers, and they'll still buy from you.
• 13:41
  Larry Wilson: Whoever that is, I salute you.
• 13:44
  Larry Wilson: What powerful marketing that must be.
• 13:46
  Larry Wilson: I can't picture it.
• 13:48
  Larry Wilson: I've never seen it.
• 13:50
  Larry Wilson: I'm not saying it doesn't exist.
• 13:52
  Larry Wilson: I've never seen that.
• 13:55
  Larry Wilson: You can think of very obvious examples of the opposite, where somebody makes some promise and then fulfills it.
• 14:06
  Larry Wilson: And you remember that.
• 14:07
  Larry Wilson: You go, wow, it's really I mean uh on this podcast, you may frequently hear me talk about Costco.
• 14:16
  Larry Wilson: You can return anything that you purchased at Costco and get a full refund.
• 14:24
  Larry Wilson: Now, with dish show, with uh tomatoes, with garden tools, whatever it is, they will take it and refund your money.
• 14:36
  Larry Wilson: And they don't ask, I mean, they may ask you uh conversationally, but they do not insist on you justifying your desire to return anything.
• 14:47
  Larry Wilson: This policy of theirs, which I have never seen them fail to honor, never seen them.
• 14:57
  Larry Wilson: Now, that authenticity, that they've promised something and they honor it.
• 15:07
  Larry Wilson: If any communication from you is demonstrably false, it's a disaster, as far as I'm concerned, in your communication.
• 15:20
  Larry Wilson: People they may not understand it consciously.
• 15:24
  Larry Wilson: Someone getting repeated notices from you that this is their very last chance to take advantage of your sale that you're having on something.
• 15:36
  Larry Wilson: Well, how many times do you think can be their very last chance?
• 15:40
  Larry Wilson: There should only be one very last chance.
• 15:43
  Larry Wilson: And once they fail to do that, you must exclude them from the opportunity to purchase things.
• 15:50
  Larry Wilson: Now it doesn't mean they can't receive something else, doesn't mean you can't have another thing, doesn't mean you couldn't come up with an idea for people who wanted to take advantage of the sale but were too busy and weren't able to.
• 16:03
  Larry Wilson: This is a special second chance.
• 16:06
  Larry Wilson: Well, I'm making it up, I don't know.
• 16:09
  Larry Wilson: I'm not a marketer, but you can't say stuff that they can see is false.
• 16:18
  Larry Wilson: Because that's where your strength lies in saying things that are clearly true.
• 16:28
  Larry Wilson: That's what builds a powerful, a powerful, authentic connection.
• 16:37
  Larry Wilson: And I say this only because I know how some of you feel.
• 16:44
  Larry Wilson: You've got bills to pay, you've got mortgages, you've got kids who need orthodontra, you've all these things.
• 16:50
  Larry Wilson: We all need to make money.
• 16:53
  Larry Wilson: And you may be thinking, I need to make it now.
• 16:56
  Larry Wilson: I need to make well, I understand that.
• 16:58
  Larry Wilson: But following the tenants of Wilson method, I can't guarantee that you'll make money right this second.
• 17:08
  Larry Wilson: But I promise you, from my own personal life experience, those authentic connections, they last a lifetime, and they will come back at some point.
• 17:25
  Larry Wilson: It may not be today, may not be next month, might not even be next year.
• 17:32
  Larry Wilson: But I know from my own personal experience, I've had people come back a year later, two years later.
• 17:40
  Larry Wilson: Now somebody's saying, that's too long a sales cycle.
• 17:43
  Larry Wilson: Well, I guess it is.
• 17:46
  Larry Wilson: But I consider any sale better than no sale.
• 17:52
  Larry Wilson: And like I said, I'm not a marketing person, so maybe your marketing people can figure out a way to harness this and use it.
• 18:01
  Larry Wilson: But I do know that I'm constantly surprised when someone will come back six months or a year later and say, you know, I really appreciated the way uh you presented such and such to me.
• 18:18
  Larry Wilson: I wondered, is that still something I could take advantage of?
• 18:21
  Larry Wilson: And of course I'm happy to say, if it is, say, sure, let's do it by all means.
• 18:26
  Larry Wilson: Uh it's happened more than once in my two-day boot camp.
• 18:30
  Larry Wilson: More than once I've had people who said, Well, uh, I can't really afford to do it right now.
• 18:37
  Larry Wilson: And I'm always quick to point out, I say, you know, well, I have a payment program.
• 18:42
  Larry Wilson: If that's what you like, it's no problem.
• 18:44
  Larry Wilson: But if that's still not convenient for you, uh let me know whenever you'd like to do it.
• 18:50
  Larry Wilson: And I've had people come back to me a couple years afterwards and say, I'm in a better position right now, and I'm doing stuff with my own company, and I realize how crucial good communication is.
• 19:07
  Larry Wilson: We have a great product, but I can see how if we communicated better, and if I communicated better with the people in my company, we'd be more successful.
• 19:21
  Larry Wilson: We'd make more money.
• 19:23
  Larry Wilson: And so I guarantee you, authentic communication yields authentic connections, and those will last you a lifetime.
• 19:36
  Larry Wilson: Thanks for joining me again.
• 19:38
  Larry Wilson: I look forward to seeing you next week on how to talk to humans.
• 19:44
  Larry Wilson: This has been Larry Wilson.
• 19:46
  Larry Wilson: I want to thank you for spending this time with me, and I hope you found this information useful.
• 19:53
  Larry Wilson: If you're looking for more, you can find it at thewilsonmethod.com.
• 19:58
  Larry Wilson: There's a ton of stuff there.
• 20:00
  Larry Wilson: If you want, you can even speak to me because I'm human.
• 20:06
  Larry Wilson: Send me an email at info at WilsonMethod.com because I read every single one.
• 20:15
  Larry Wilson: I hope that you'll join us next week in this continuing journey.
• 20:21
  Larry Wilson: And you'll be with me for the next episode of How to Talk to Human.