Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #784 Parental Guidance Recap - Anatomy, Emotion Coaching & Interventions

Transcript

#784 Parental Guidance Recap - Anatomy, Emotion Coaching & Interventions · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: wants answers.
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: Now, Welcome to the Happy Families Podcast. I'm so excited
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: to be able to talk about episode three of Parential Guidance.
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: My name's doctor Justin Coilson. Hopefully you've been watching the show.
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: I'm the co host and parenting expert on the show.
• 0:19
  Speaker 3: And oh, I loved last night's episode. Kylie, Well, if
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: mum to our six kids, Yeah, what have you got?
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: Oh?
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: I got a question for you, right, because.
• 0:29
  Speaker 4: Last night we were introduced to four new parents.
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: Yes, who are your favorites from last night or from no? No?
• 0:35
  Speaker 4: From last week? We had the Lighthouse parents, the Honest parents,
• 0:39
  Speaker 4: the Gentle parents, and the Outback parents, all right, And
• 0:41
  Speaker 4: I thought I knew who my favorites were, right, But
• 0:44
  Speaker 4: I think it's changed, So I have to I have
• 0:47
  Speaker 4: to say that I like them all like I think
• 0:49
  Speaker 4: they're all great in their own way and they've got
• 0:50
  Speaker 4: their problems in their own way as well.
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: And that's what we're having the TV show for. Who
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: did you enjoy learning from the most.
• 0:59
  Speaker 4: It wasn't about learning from them.
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: It's just watching it for the TV and same fact
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: that Okay, would you like the most quick, let's do it.
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: I can't pick You're so funny. I can't believe you.
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: You're putting me on the spot, and you weren't choose.
• 1:13
  Speaker 4: I was waiting to hear what you had to say
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: them all and I'm learning. That's what I'm learning from
• 1:19
  Speaker 4: them all.
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying. That's why the show is so good.
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: But you're hopeless. I can't believe you're doing this.
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: Look, I love Cat, she is just this like literally
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: raw edge, completely rough diamond who is so.
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: And she's doing it on her own, upfront, doing her
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: own with two twin kids, one who is in You're
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: divergent and definitely gives her a hard time.
• 1:48
  Speaker 4: And then you've got the Lighthouse parents and.
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: I love them.
• 1:52
  Speaker 4: I love them. I love them, And do you know
• 1:57
  Speaker 4: it's as you watch the kids interact, your love for
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: the parents grows even more to.
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: See how great those kids are.
• 2:04
  Speaker 4: And that can only happen because there's love, Like it
• 2:08
  Speaker 4: all boils down to love, and every single parent on
• 2:12
  Speaker 4: the show just loves their kids.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: And then you've got i mean, David intensity the Outback Parents.
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: Hands down, I would have loved to have driven a
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: car at eight.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: They work on bikes, they work on cars, they ride horses,
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: ride cows.
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: The life skills that.
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: When you see the heart of Larissa and Marcus, the
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: gentle parents just studying, yeah amazing.
• 2:39
  Speaker 5: We allow them to express their opinions just like we
• 2:41
  Speaker 5: express ours.
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: But last night we're introduced to the next four.
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: So we've got these stage parents, Shane and Sarah.
• 2:51
  Speaker 5: We encourage our children's individuality, creativity and independence. Stage parenting
• 2:57
  Speaker 5: is mostly fun.
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: When it comes to performing.
• 3:04
  Speaker 6: I think a lot of parents think their kid is
• 3:06
  Speaker 6: better than what they are.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: The talent alone is useless if you don't practice it.
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: You know, our bike gets rusty if you don't write it.
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: It's that simple. And then we have the influences Jonathan
• 3:17
  Speaker 4: and kat.
• 3:19
  Speaker 6: We lead by example, and we use technology to really
• 3:23
  Speaker 6: connect rather than separate.
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: If you've been on TikTok, if you've been on Instagram
• 3:28
  Speaker 4: and you've seen some really successful people on how they
• 3:30
  Speaker 4: use the platform, the future is only going to move
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: more in that direction.
• 3:34
  Speaker 6: I think education is key for teaching my kids what
• 3:37
  Speaker 6: to look out for and keeping them safe is important.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: Very provocative couple, but they look good. And I don't
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: mean from a physical point of view. I mean as
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: a family in the show. Okay, well they probably look
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: good that way as well, but they look good in
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: terms of I love what Chris and Philips said. Oh yeah,
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: we were pretty worried about those influence appearents. They're on it,
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: they've got it together.
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: So then we have the spiritual parents, Deepak and Chardile.
• 4:04
  Speaker 7: We believe that our children are give us sparks of
• 4:06
  Speaker 7: the divide, and we look towards Lord Christiana, our God,
• 4:10
  Speaker 7: to guide us with our parenting and everything else we do.
• 4:13
  Speaker 7: Spiritual parenting means parenting to the knees of the child
• 4:18
  Speaker 7: on the physical level, on their intellectual level, and also
• 4:22
  Speaker 7: on their spiritual level. It's not just us raising kids,
• 4:29
  Speaker 7: the kids are raising us spiritually.
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: Oh my goodness, I just want to wrap them up.
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: They're just gorgeous, totally gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous.
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: And then our team parents, we have six.
• 4:40
  Speaker 5: Children and we're trying to raise them like our little
• 4:42
  Speaker 5: owned footy team.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: Was that another or a coach league? Our family a
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: sporting team family, and that's how we parent. We believe respect,
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: the repetition, discipline. They're all the fundamentals that make our
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: team what we are.
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and I stated to an intervention with them in
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: the studio, and things got pretty hot in that studio.
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: Marc, we have got lots to talk about. So where
• 5:11
  Speaker 4: do you want to start?
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: I think we have to start with the intervention. So
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: this all starts when for those of you who are
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: overseas couldn't see it all, those of you who were
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: still sort of waiting to catch up on nine. Now
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: later we send the family to the park, to a
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: nature park and the kids get to have an up
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: close animal encounter.
• 5:27
  Speaker 4: Who's going to be beating the penguins today?
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: All right, so we'll need Brooklyn in with one parent.
• 5:33
  Speaker 4: So let's just put this out there. For parents who
• 5:36
  Speaker 4: are dealing with kids nine and older, yep, this shouldn't
• 5:39
  Speaker 4: have been a hard challenge at all, hands down.
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: Probably not. But for younger children, everyone wants to have
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: a go, and what's really going on is only one
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: kid gets to do it. Everyone else has.
• 5:49
  Speaker 4: To watch and the team parents out of all of
• 5:52
  Speaker 4: the families have six.
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: Children, They've got six kids, but their whole thing is
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: we operate as a team, but the little ones just
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: coudn't stand understandably that an older sibling was going to
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: get to pat the furry animal and not them.
• 6:06
  Speaker 4: Well, yes and no. I actually think the bigger challenge
• 6:10
  Speaker 4: was that mum and dad both had a younger sibling
• 6:13
  Speaker 4: in their arms and Mum had to go in right.
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: So there was some separation as well as the disappointment.
• 6:19
  Speaker 4: And I think that that was actually the bigger challenge.
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: Here's what happened. Here we go.
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: You're too young to feed the penguins because I'll bite
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: your fingers off. You have to stop crying with the
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: team parenting style and managing tantrums. We've got to negotiate
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: that on a daily basis.
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: Okay. So compare that to what happened with our spiritual parents.
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: So what do you think we have to choose? One person?
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: Do you want to be?
• 6:49
  Speaker 4: We should feed? I think Grishner you.
• 6:56
  Speaker 6: Do it?
• 6:57
  Speaker 7: Yeah, all right, So let's as spiritual parents. Selflessness is
• 7:03
  Speaker 7: a very important integral part of our quality that we
• 7:06
  Speaker 7: try to promote within us.
• 7:08
  Speaker 5: What did they feel like.
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: They're going for me?
• 7:14
  Speaker 7: I think Middler had a longing to pat, but it
• 7:17
  Speaker 7: did not translate into disappointment. While she didn't get a chance,
• 7:21
  Speaker 7: she also enjoyed watching and being happy for the brother.
• 7:25
  Speaker 4: They seem a little bit perfect.
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: I was so gorgeous. I love that so selfless.
• 7:30
  Speaker 4: I mean, here's the oldest sibling actually saying, would you
• 7:34
  Speaker 4: like to do it?
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: I want our kids to watch that and emblazon it
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: on their brain and never forget it and become that
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: that was just beautiful.
• 7:43
  Speaker 4: During the experience, their daughter was looking on with anticipation
• 7:47
  Speaker 4: and almost feeling like she was missing out. It turned
• 7:51
  Speaker 4: into joy as she watched her brother enjoying that experience.
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so it's just beautiful. So the other families, they
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: managed this challenge reasonably well, but we've got to talk
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: about the big emotions that happened with the team parents
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: and the way that the emotions were shut down.
• 8:13
  Speaker 7: You have to stop crying.
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: Take you back to the cardown. Well, then you need
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: to stop.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: Do you not understand that.
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: That's enough?
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: You need to relax, You need to calm down the cave.
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: So the way that they dealt with this is reminiscent
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: of what happened last week with the outback parents when
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: they were pushing their son to jump off the high
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: platform and face his fears. I promised last week we
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: would talk about emotion coaching. This is where we need
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: to kids have big emotions. And I love what Larissa
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: the gentle parent had to say when everything blew up.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: I think what you're saying is when they're crying, it's
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: a moment for you to comfort them and be with them.
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: And it's not.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: Necessarily about the behat. It's about comforting them in the moment.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: And maybe there's another chance after that to speak about
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: the behavior again.
• 9:05
  Speaker 7: If every time they want comfort, then are they going
• 9:08
  Speaker 7: to cry to you?
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: Are they going to react that way so you give
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: them a cuddle?
• 9:12
  Speaker 4: They're three, But if they're three, is that a bad thing?
• 9:15
  Speaker 4: That's unacceptable?
• 9:18
  Speaker 5: Just because you didn't get what you want does not
• 9:20
  Speaker 5: give you the ride to sit there and make everyone
• 9:22
  Speaker 5: else feel bad.
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: I guess my point here is why is crying unacceptable?
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: And then we heard this.
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: If you're not feeling happy, then being told to be
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: happy is essentially being told to lie. This led to
• 9:33
  Speaker 4: your big moment on TV.
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: I took it into my own hands. I was like,
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: I've had enough. I've sat here quietly for two nearly
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: three episodes. I've got to do something.
• 9:43
  Speaker 4: There was a fair bitter tension in the room.
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: I dragged them out of the room, and this is
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: what happened. There are a couple of ways that we
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: might be able to work with our kids when they're
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: having these big emotions that could be more effective and
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: help your family to function better. But I want to
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: spin the conversation to you for a moment, Leanne Ye.
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: Imagine that you're having a bit of a moment emotionally,
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: and Mark looks at you and says, Leanne, stop it
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: be quiet. That's enough. You need to settle down. Would
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: you look at him and smile and say, good point, Honey,
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: I am overreacting. Oh not at all.
• 10:18
  Speaker 4: My Maltes's arms would be flying everywhere, my hair.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: Would be going this way from the amount of breeze
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: coming from a voice.
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: When we're talking with our partner or with our kids
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: and they're having a big emotion. Other than giving them space,
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: one of the most powerful things that we can do
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: is just to say what we see. There's a phrase
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: that psychologists to be using for decades called if you
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: can name it, you can tame it. So imagine that
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: Bailey is having this fit and you said, O, sweetheart, Bailey,
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: you're so upset because you're not getting to feed the penguins,
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: and then you don't say another word. How much you
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: respond then.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: Started to probably slow down a bit because she knows
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: that I know she's upset.
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: And the reasons why, how did they deal with that?
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: Because obviously in the beginning, I definitely got a sense
• 11:12
  Speaker 4: that they felt like they'd just been pulled into the
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: headmaster's office. They definitely softened, But how did that actually
• 11:18
  Speaker 4: go in real life?
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: So well? Not only did it go well, but I mean,
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: we filmed this across a number of days, and once
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: I'd given them that instruction, because we were filming in
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: Sydney and that's where they're from, they said, oh, we're
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: going to go home and try this tonight. And the
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: next day when they came back into the studio, they said,
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: you wouldn't believe it. Last night we went home and
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: there was some big emotions and we did what you said.
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: And I thought, oh, oh, I'm nervous. I'm so nervous,
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: and they actually, like Leanne, almost started trying. She said,
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: we got results like we've never had in our lives
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: because we were kind to our children's emotional state rather
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: than trying to get them to stop it.
• 11:58
  Speaker 4: This is a conversation that I've had and I've heard
• 12:01
  Speaker 4: you have so many times with parents from the point
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: of view that we think that to acknowledge our children's
• 12:09
  Speaker 4: emotions takes time, and that.
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: It's going to feed the emotion and make it bigger,
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: both of those things.
• 12:15
  Speaker 4: And yet every time, yeah, we acknowledge it, it dissipates
• 12:22
  Speaker 4: so much quicker and without fanfare, unlike the times where
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: we don't.
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: Right, I mean, it's just amazing. And Martin Leane had
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: that experience the teen parents had that we didn't get
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: to show it on screen, obviously because it happened in
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: their own home later that night. But this is what
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: I really want to help parents to understand. When your
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: kids are having a big emotion, there's no point fighting
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: with it, There's no point telling them to stop it,
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: there's no point telling them to calm down. This is
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: what I really want parents to understand. I just can't
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: think of a single time we're getting mad at your
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: child for their emotion is going to help them to
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: regulate it.
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: Better, or telling them to calm down.
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: It doesn't help them to regulate it better. What helps
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: them to regulate it better is softness, kindness, gentleness, compassion.
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: And when we say what we see, I'm going to
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: use that exact line in the intervention. You've got to
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: say what you see. You're feeling real mad, you're feeling
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: so frustrated. You hate your sister right now. And then
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: they say, oh, you get it, and you say, yeah,
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: bring it in here, come and give me a hug.
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: Let's work this out. And you can't do the problem
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: solving until you bring the emotions down.
• 13:29
  Speaker 4: Well, one of the best lines out of this episode
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: was from you, and you said, I think, thank you.
• 13:36
  Speaker 4: Greatest human need is not to be loved, it's to
• 13:39
  Speaker 4: be understood.
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: You're taking notes. You're taking notes.
• 13:43
  Speaker 4: Of course, I'm taking notes.
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: A jr. Let's play that the greatest human need is
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: not to be loved, but to be understood.
• 13:52
  Speaker 4: I can't believe it. You couldn't take it from me.
• 13:55
  Speaker 4: You just wanted everyone to hear you saying it. You
• 13:57
  Speaker 4: said it first.
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: Is that what this is? No, no, no, it's not like
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: that at all.
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: But it's so true. It's so true. And if we
• 14:04
  Speaker 4: go back to that line where we were talking about
• 14:06
  Speaker 4: the fact that to tell your child to be happy
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: or to act happy is to actually tell them to like.
• 14:12
  Speaker 4: What it does also, though, is it makes us second
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: guess how we're feeling, and the internal dialogue becomes, why
• 14:23
  Speaker 4: are you being so silly? Why have you got such
• 14:26
  Speaker 4: big emotions around this? No one else would have big
• 14:28
  Speaker 4: emotions around this.
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: When I think of the outbok parents and the pushing
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: to face your fears in last week's episode, once again,
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: here's this little guy six years old doesn't want to
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: jump off the platform. A big hug, buddy. This is
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: really scary, isn't it? When you look over there, you
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: just think this is too much? Come here, I got cha.
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: Sometimes I feel like we just have expectations of our
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: kids that are so unrealistic. Yeah, it's so unrealistic.
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: But we don't have unrealistic expectations of parents when it
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: comes to knowing their anatomy. That was a really good segue.
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: Let's talk about this. Let's talk about this.
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: So how is it? How is it that you can
• 15:13
  Speaker 4: have mums in the room who can't even name their
• 15:19
  Speaker 4: own anatomy.
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: Now, let's not mum shame here. We're not going to
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: get into mum shaming. But I think that it's a
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: legitimate question to say, do you know how your body works?
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: And we need to address this.
• 15:28
  Speaker 4: Those a generational problem.
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: For those who missed it, We had a well there
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: there was a big thing about pornography and explicit material.
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: We're going to have to discuss that Thursday because we're
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: already out of time on today's podcast. But we've got
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: to talk about the challenge where the parents had a
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: conversation with the kids about reproductive systems and how bodies work.
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: Do your kids know.
• 15:52
  Speaker 4: Where babies come from? Let's find out you're going to
• 15:56
  Speaker 4: test your kids on anatomy and reproduction. They weren't even
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: having the sex conversation. It literally was about naming body parts.
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: Put the tag on the body where it belongs.
• 16:07
  Speaker 4: What is the correct name for a girl's external private path?
• 16:15
  Speaker 5: The reproductory system?
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: What is it that one? I love the line about
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: salad dressings? Do you all know what this is?
• 16:26
  Speaker 5: So it looks like that sauce ariola aola.
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: That was a good one, but I think the bigger
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: issue with this and unfortunately Mark and Leanne end up
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: looking not so great out of this one. Although the
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: spiritual parents Depak and Cargile also didn't come out too. Well,
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: here's what happened.
• 16:47
  Speaker 7: Okay, tell me where does the babies come from?
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, sure, they come from their valley.
• 16:52
  Speaker 7: And how did they come out?
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: They were.
• 16:56
  Speaker 7: I think it was good to test him out first, Yes,
• 16:59
  Speaker 7: to see what then what's the girl's private park?
• 17:03
  Speaker 4: H by him?
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: No?
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: Generationally speaking, this is a conversation that parents have not
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: been comfortable having with their children, but specifically with girls.
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: Which is really concerning because boys, when we look at
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: consent issues, when we look at all of the stuff
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: around violence and safety and girls the ones who are
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: the most affected.
• 17:35
  Speaker 4: Well, girls lives can change in an instant. A boy
• 17:39
  Speaker 4: loses his virginity, there's no there's no impact to his
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: life in a physical sense. To a girl that one
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: decision could alter her entire life.
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: And yeah, I'm going to soften that. The repercussions can
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: be much much, much heavier for girls in typical circumstances.
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: There or something I've.
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: Talked about that, yes, the influenced. So she talked about
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: and acknowledged the challenges that existed from becoming a single
• 18:07
  Speaker 4: parent at seventeen.
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: So I didn't say this in the show, and I
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: wish I had, But if you have children who are
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: old enough to be intimate, then they need to understand
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: two things before they understand anything else. They need to
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: understand consent and they need to understand condoms. They need
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: to understand those two things at the very least, that's
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: the beginning. They're the two most fundamental things because otherwise, well,
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: we heard what happened with Cat and she was so
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: so dignified in the way that she dealt with her
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: past on national television. I just I love Jonathan and
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: Cat such a great family they really are. But can
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: we please talk about well, first of all, the vagina.
• 18:46
  Speaker 5: Chance Deepak, are you now comfortable with the V word?
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 18:51
  Speaker 5: Okay, because I just want to know if we could
• 18:54
  Speaker 5: do a bit of a vagina chant if you want,
• 18:58
  Speaker 5: come on in to team building.
• 18:59
  Speaker 4: A Because of the way the male anatomy works from
• 19:12
  Speaker 4: a very early age, you know it's there, you know
• 19:15
  Speaker 4: it's there, you know what it is, and you know
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: what it does, and you work out pretty quickly what
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: makes it go up and down.
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: Among other things. Yes, yes, you do.
• 19:22
  Speaker 4: For a woman, it's not so obvious.
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: Because it's not obvious to be seen and you don't
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: necessarily know what it all does.
• 19:28
  Speaker 4: And there's a lot more going on in our bodies
• 19:31
  Speaker 4: than there is for a male, and yet we don't
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: have conversations with our girls about all of that and
• 19:40
  Speaker 4: to help them understand that their bodies are normal and
• 19:44
  Speaker 4: flipping amazing.
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: I love what Philip has said, normalize it.
• 19:48
  Speaker 5: Celebrate our bodies, like our bodies are amazing, Like my
• 19:52
  Speaker 5: kids know when I have my period, like it's trying
• 19:54
  Speaker 5: to be something that's weird or grow. So these are
• 19:56
  Speaker 5: our normal, amazing bodies.
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: I love how much you care about this car, and
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: I had the same feelings as I was watching it back.
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: I thought, Wow, we have got to have these conversations
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: with our kids.
• 20:09
  Speaker 4: I want my girls growing up knowing how amazing their
• 20:12
  Speaker 4: bodies are, how they work, and why they feel the
• 20:14
  Speaker 4: way they do, and why their body responds the way
• 20:16
  Speaker 4: it does. That it's not something to be ashamed of,
• 20:18
  Speaker 4: that it's not something that they have to hide.
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: How to get maximum joy out of that body, how
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: to get maxim with.
• 20:24
  Speaker 4: Them to have all of the experiences that will bring
• 20:27
  Speaker 4: them joy and happiness in their lives, and their body
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: is a huge part of that.
• 20:32
  Speaker 7: Hindre's where the creators commas throws legs quite a oxy
• 20:35
  Speaker 7: more and that we don't discuss it, Kylie.
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: Parental Guidance gives you the opportunity to talk to your
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: kids about all of the good stuff and all the
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: hard stuff. There's so much that we haven't even touched on.
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: We haven't talked about the car reversing challenge, listening to
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: your kids' voices. We didn't talk about pornography. We're gonna
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: have to push those both to Thursdays.
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: That's a whole other episode, I know.
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: And we've still got tonight to make episode four, which
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: I know we won't cover all of tomorrow. But she
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: was I love the conversation. I still feel like we've
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: barely scratched the surface today, but we have to wrap
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: it there. Thank you so much for listening. We hope,
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: we hope that you're loving Parental Guidance on Channel nine
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: and catching up on nine now. And for those of
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: you who haven't been able to see the show but
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: you're following along with the podcast, we really hope that
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: you're loving the podcast and it's giving you plenty plenty
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: to think about. Once again, big thanks to Justin roll
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: On from Bridge Media, our producer, for making the podcast
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: sound great, and for Craig Bruce for doing so much
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: heavy lifting to help us to get to a point
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: that we can talk about it in ways that work.
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: They are integral to the podcast working. We'll be back
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: tomorrow with more on the Happy Families podcast Don't Forget
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: Episode four, Channel nine tonight, seven point thirty