Latest / The Mami Collective / What to Do When Your Next Chapter Arrives Before You Feel Ready
Transcript
- Paulina: If you're a mom who needs just one night that's all about you, I need you at Mama Name Easy, the Mommy Collective Summit on October 1st at the Mayfield in Chicago. We're talking incredible food and drinks, local vendors, live music, amazing raffles, inspiring conversations, and our signature panel featuring moms who are building careers, businesses, and lives they love. Plus, I'm excited to announce that Anna Bellaval will be joining us as our surprise guest for a live conversation and audience Q<unk>A. Trust me, you don't want to miss this one. Grab your tickets now at theMommy Collective.com. I'll see you there. Welcome to the Mommy Collective. I'm Paulina Rowe, radio host, TV contributor, writer, and mom of one. This is where ambitious moms come to keep their identity intact while navigating motherhood. Here we talk about the real stuff: career, money, relationships, identity, and everything that gets messy in between. You won't find sugarcoating or cliches. What you will find are unfiltered conversations, real resources, and proof that you don't have to lose yourself to be a good mom. The Mommy Collective is here to remind you you can be ambitious, you can take up space, and you can thrive in motherhood and in everything else that makes you you. Before we get into the episode, make sure you're following the Mommy Collective on Facebook, TikTok, and Instagram. And share this podcast with a mommy in your life who needs a little information. Inspiration or just a reminder that she's killing it. Also, don't forget to sign up for our newsletter and leave us a review so we can keep showing up and reach every ambitious mom out there doing big things. Let's get into it. Hello, girly pops. It is Paulina here, and I just feel like you know there's so much going on right now. It is crazy over here. It is back to school season, it is back to everything season. So I just want to do a little bit of catching up with you guys today and I kind of want to tie it into our theme of our twenty twenty six Mommy Collective Summit, which is the next chapter. And I have so much to say about this because you guys know me, I'm a little manifestor slash I believe in signs, I believe in synchronicity, I believe in all of that. And I really feel like this idea of next chapter, the fact that it came to me so organically, so naturally, and now I'm just seeing it everywhere. That to me is crazy because that's how I know, okay, we are so aligned out here. Me and all you girly pops, we are so aligned because I feel like I go on social media and everybody's just announcing their next chapter. I think I even know somebody who has the next chapter in their Instagram handle. That's their new handle. So I think this couldn't be more perfect timing. But I keep thinking about this idea of a next chapter. Cause it sounds really, really beautiful when you say it like that, right? The next chapter. My next chapter. It sounds clean, intentional, and it kind of sounds like you maybe close out the old chapter that you were going through, right? You learned the lesson, maybe you healed, maybe you did as much as organized your calendar, drank some water, whatever it is. You turn that page and you're here now, right? But that has literally never been how a next chapter started personally for me. Because mine usually kind of started when I was in full chaos, right? I was confused, all of that. And it kinda started to when I was tired, which I always am, scared, overwhelmed, underprepared, or maybe just wondering if I truly had lost my mind. And it starts when something in my personal life is still messy. As you guys know, I am walking chaos. I truly am. So my family might need me, right? Or maybe I'm just second guessing myself and then I'm trying to build something that I've never built before and then I'm kind of pretending that I know more than I actually do, which I think a lot of us do. And I think that's kind of when I've realized, okay, this is the next chapter, the next era. And lately I had to kind of accept something that I think a lot of us do need to hear, that it starts when you decide to move anyway. So I feel like if you've been here for a while, then you already know that this is where the conversations happen, right? With the ambitious moms, women. We're just having the honest ones, right? We're talking about motherhood, identity, money, work, relationships, business, whatever it is, right? And what it looks like to really build a full life without pretending that every single part of this is easy. And listen, it's just me you're talking to. So I wanna talk to you from inside this current chapter that I'm in, right? I wanna get personal with you because I am building one of the biggest things I've ever done, which is our second annual mommy collective summit, which is called Mom and Ain Easy, the theme, the next chapter. It's happening October first in Chicago. And like I said, I knew this thing would resonate, but I didn't realize how aligned that was because I just keep seeing it everywhere on social media, all my followers, people that I follow. I see it. And I don't know. I just feel like I'm kind of in that next chapter right now. The mommy collective is truly my next chapter, right? My daughter is entering a new chapter. The mommy collective itself is in a next chapter. My family is in a chapter that I did not choose, unfortunately. My career, my business are growing, they're changing, right? These are things in my personal life that are so tender but complicated. And they're not necessarily for public consumption, but they will still come to work with me, right? They still live in my body. They still affect how much energy I have. And if I sit down, I want to build something. And yet the work just truly continues. Motherhood continues. Life continues. I've been telling my best friends this. I'm like, it's crazy how you could be going through some of the craziest stuff ever. But yet the work's gotta continue, right? I gotta be a mom. That's gotta go. Life is life in. And the part that I want to talk about you today is what do you do when your next chapter arrives before you feel Emotionally, financially, professionally, or personally ready for any of it. I think many of us have this fantasy that one day we're gonna just wake up and then we're gonna just feel so ready. We're gonna ready to get ready to start the business, ready to apply for the job, ready to leave the job, ready to go back to work, right? After having a baby, ready to have the conversation we've been avoiding, maybe ready to move, right? Make that move, ask for money, host the event, launch the podcast or the idea and the relationship, right? But we imagine that readiness will feel almost like confidence. Like I'm so confident in this, I'm so ready, let's do this, I'm a bad bitch. Almost like clarity, right? But in my experience, readiness usually feels more like, well, okay, I guess we're doing this, right? And that's it. That's this quote magical moment. There's no handwritten note from God that he just slides under your door and says, Paulina, the conditions are now perfect, so please proceed. No, it's usually just an idea that will not leave you alone. It won't leave your brain, right? And the growing realization that staying exactly where you are is starting to feel more comfortable than taking the risk. When I started the mommy collective, I did not have a flawless five year plan. My best friends who do my marketing wish I did. But I just really had an idea. I wanted to create something right for moms who have dreams and just want something with their own names on it, right? Something more than just mom. So moms who deeply love their children, we all love our kiddos, but did not believe that motherhood erased every single part of who they were before mom. Mom is building careers, businesses, communities, relationships, full lives, right? And then of course trying to do this without drowning in guilt. I started as a podcast. I've Been in the radio game for 11 years now, a little bit more if you count some of the other stuff that I've done. But on air, 10 years, 11 years, like I'm solid. I've had a podcast. I rebranded the podcast. Once I created the Mommy Collective, I completely rebranded my podcast. I created the newsletter, the events, the dinners, the community, right? Our grantslash fund, partnerships, of course, the summit. I did not begin because I felt like I was fully qualified and ready, right, to build any of this. I began because I could not stop thinking about the moms, the women who really, really needed this. And every new part of this business has required me to become a version of myself that I had not yet met. I'm gonna be so for real. That is the rude little secret of growth, right? You do not become her and then take the leap. You take the leap and that is how you become her. So we keep waiting for future us to show up and handle it. Future us might be more confident. She's got more money. Her house is all organized. Her kids are perfect. And somehow she's got every answered email, right? Her marriage, body, faith, mental health, career, hormonal balances, they're all thriving at the same exact time. But I would personally love to meet O Girl because she is not coming to the rescue, right? The only version of who you start the next chapter is the version who exists right now. The one with the imperfect circumstances, the one who's scared, who may need some help, the one who might be still healing, or the one who does not know every step after the first one. And that's okay. One of the strangest parts of building something that you genuinely wanted is that people assume you must feel happy and confident like all the time. You wanted that opportunity, right? You wanted the growth. You wanted people to pay attention. You want the room to get bigger. And yes, of course I did. I'm very grateful for what the Bomby Collective is becoming. I'm grateful for every woman, mom who buys a ticket, listens to this podcast, reads my newsletters, attends a dinner, shares any of our posts, sponsors an event, tells a friend, you know, hey, you gotta come to this, you gotta know about mommy collective. I am grateful, but I am scared shitless sometimes, if I'm gonna be so honest with you. Because both are true, right? It can look like from the outside, right? Personally, I can look at the summit and feel deeply proud that I'm expecting over two hundred women in this room with an idea that pretty much was just in my head. And I can also wake up thinking about ticket sales, right? Sponsorships, the sound and the stage and the food and the the vendors and the speaking and the raffles and everything, all the logistical details that no one really ever notices, honestly, unless something goes wrong. And that's just the truth. And this, my friend, is entrepreneurship. You get to watch your dream come true while managing the spreadsheet that makes you want to throw up. So it's just the truth. Fear does not always mean though you are making the wrong decision. Sometimes fear means the decision matters. There's a difference between danger and expansion, and I'm still learning how to kind of tell the difference, but For those of us who are mothers, expansion can feel especially complicated because our risks do not feel like they belong to us anymore, right? Before Gigi, I could make any decision that I wanted and think about it, and it would literally what it would cost me. It would cost me nothing. Now every decision seems attached to 10 more questions, right? What will this require from my family? How much time will this take? Who will take care of Gigi? Will I still be a present mom? Am I doing too much? Am I missing something? Am I building a life that she'll be proud of? Or am I just really, really fucking busy? And that last question really does get me. Because I do want to be honest, right? I don't want to confuse constant movement with meaningful growth, right? I want my daughter to see a mother who went after her dreams, but I also want her to remember that I was there. I want her to know my work mattered to me. And I want her to know that she never had to compete with it for my love. There is no perfect formula for that, unfortunately. There is only constant adjustment, reflection, and lots and lots of grace. And Gigi did start a full day school. So she is in her next chapter, kind of for both of us. And I'm so excited for her because even though I'm emotional, I am so proud. I miss her. And then I'm looking at those new hours that I have available, and I'm like, okay, how many companies can I build between drop off and pickup rate? Which is exactly the problem. Moms finally receive a little more time and before the universe can finish handing it to us, we have already volunteered for 12 things. So a part of my next chapter is not just asking more of what I could build. It's something how I can r really like how I can want my life to feel when I do build it. And the question is harder for me, right? Because I know how to make a plan. I know how to send the email. I know how to pitch a sponsor, create the event, promote the thing, get on this mic and figure it out. But can I build without abandoning myself in the process, right? Can I help actually, you know, myself? Can I let help actually find me? Can I leave some space unclaimed? Can I believe the rest is a part of the work instead of the reward? And then I receive after every human being on earth stops needing something from me, right? Because apparently that day is not on my calendar. Here's another thing nobody really tells you is that your personal life will not politely stabilize because you have something important to build. Life does not say, ⁓ she's producing a major event right now. Let's give her family, health, relationships, childcare, finances, and emotions the next six to eight weeks off. Everything arrives together. I am building the summit during one of the most emotionally complicated seasons of my life. My mom is living with stage four cancer and there are appointments, updates, fear, hope, sadness, love, all of these experiences of someone just trying to keep a normal life moving, right? And nothing feels normal anymore. There are things in my personal life that require a lot of my heart. I'm not gonna turn to every intimate part of my life into contents. Just not gonna do it because some things deserve to have breathing room before they become a lesson, if they ever become one at all. But I can tell you this though, I am not building from some mountaintop where everything makes sense. I am building from inside quite literally real life. Some days I feel so strong, clear, locked in, right? I answer emails, change the diaper, take GG here, check on my mom, go to work, post something encouraging, and I'm running, running, running. That doesn't make me fake though. That does not make me fake. It makes me human. We have to stop assuming a woman's visible success means her invisible life is easy. You can be building something while grieving. You can be deeply grateful while struggling, and you can be incredible when it comes to being a mother while needing a break from motherhood. You can love somebody and still be unsure about what's next. You can be proud of yourself and still question yourself, right? And you can show up powerfully in one part of your life while others feel really fragile. And none of those truths cancel out the other. I think that women have been taught that we must resolve the contradiction before we move forward, right? We have to. We think that we need to heal completely, know exactly what we want, and tie every loose end to a tasteful beige bow before we're allowed to really begin again. And sometimes beginning again is a part of how we heal. Sometimes building the room reminds you that you still have a voice. Sometimes building the meanings reminds you that you're still capable. Sometimes creating something for other women becomes the thing that carries you through a season when you are not sure how to carry yourself out. And the mommy collective has been that for me more than I can explain. I created this community, yes, but this community also held me. Every time a woman tells me she's seen by an episode. Met a real friend at one of my dinners, found an opportunity through our newsletter, made a business connection, or maybe just sat in a room where she did not have to explain why she wanted motherhood and more. This is why I kept going. This is the reminder that I needed. Not because I'm ready, but because it all mattered. ⁓ The next version might be about protecting myself now. The old version might be about saying yes to every opportunity, which yes, that is my old version. And maybe my next version requires enough discernment to say that's a good opportunity, but it's just not for me. And the old version might have measured success in money, titles, followers, right? Invitations, and how much I can accomplish in one day. But my next version might really just include peace, health, time, presence. A nervous system that is not permanently just fighting for my life all the time. And to be clear, I still love money. Like I want the room, right? I still want the opportunities. I'm still going for it all. But I'm not about to sit here and pretend that my next chapter is becoming a woodland woman who does not check her emails. That's not exactly where I'm at. But I just want to remind myself that ambition is not the enemy. I love being ambitious. I love women who want more. I love a woman with a plan, a vision board, a pitch deck, you name it. I love it, right? I love the slightly delusional level of confidence that some of us have. Like I love it, and I mean it. I no longer believe that success should require me to disappear from my own life, right? I do not want to build a beautiful community for women while privately treating myself like a machine, right? I do not want to tell moms they deserve support while refusing to ask that for myself, right? I don't want to Create a summit about the next chapter and arriving there while I'm dragging myself across the finish line by my eyelashes, right? So I am trying to ask better questions. Not only how do I make this bigger, but how do I make this sustainable? Not only what does everybody need from me, but what do I need in order to keep showing up for myself? Your next chapter may not look more impressive from the outside, but you earn more, right? You earn more. Maybe you leave the Impressive job that is making you miserable. Maybe you grow that business. You decide to scale into something that you no longer recognize. Maybe you return to work and rediscover a part of yourself that you missed. Maybe you step away from the work and realize your ambition did not vanish, that it simply just changed. So maybe you stop performing fine and you choose a quieter life, a bigger life, a softer life, a bolder life, or some combination that makes you absolutely just insane, but in the best way. It makes no sense to anyone except you. It's your chapter. Other people do not have to understand the plot. And that's exactly why the theme of this year's Mommy Collective Summit is Mama Nin Easy, the next chapter, because like I've always said, motherhood itself is a series of next chapters that we are almost truly never ready for, right? The baby arrives, you are new. You start daycare, you are new. They go to school and you are new, right? Your career changes, your body changes, your relationships change, your parents are getting older. Your priorities shift. A dream that you thought you outgrew starts tapping you again, maybe on the shoulder. So you can love the life you have and still feel called for what's next. That does not make you ungrateful. It makes you alive. So with that being said, I just want to say thank you again for listening to me. Really just spill the tea and really just kind of get vulnerable and share this all with you. On October 1st, we're bringing approximately 200 women together here in Chicago at the Mayfield. And it's a night That is truly just centered around all these next chapters, right? The business that you want to begin, the career that you're ready to change, the version of yourself that you're trying to find again, maybe the healing that you are still in need of, or the dream that you have barely admitted to yourself, right? There's gonna be tons of meaningful conversations. We've got panels, networking. That's not the awkward like I wanna crawl out of my skin networking. It is very much curated networking, incredible food and drinks, experiences, vendors, music, giveaways, and a Honestly, a room full of women who understand that a mother is just never one thing. So I want to be honest, okay? I'm not inviting you because everyone on that stage has it all completely figured out. That's not it. I'm inviting you because none of us do. And there is power in being surrounded by women who are willing to take that next step anyway, right? Sometimes you just need information. Sometimes you need connection. And you need someone to say, like, I see what you're trying to build. And sometimes you simply just need to get dressed, leave your house. Remember, there are still rooms that are really not only just for somebody's mom, but like for you, right? An employee, a wife, a caregiver, the problem solver, right? Everybody. You are also you. And if that sounds like the room that you want to be in, I would love to see you at the Mommy Collective Summit on October first. You can find all the details. Grab your tickets at the mommycollective.com. I'm gonna throw the info here in the show notes as well. So come as the woman that you are right now. You do not need to arrive. As the finished version. She does not even exist anyway. I want to see you and all of your beautifulness, your flaws, it's not even a word, but all of your everything on October 1st, right? And before we go, I do want to leave you with this, right? Maybe you're not behind. Maybe you are not failing, but you are simply in the uncomfortable middle, right? No longer who you were, not yet fully who you're becoming. The space you feel terrifying. That space can feel terrifying because there's nothing familiar to grab onto, right? But you do not need to feel ready. I keep saying that, but it's so true. You do not need to feel ready. You need to be willing, willing to take one honest step, willing to let the plan change, willing to ask for help. You know, I'm big on that one. Willing to disappoint the version of who willing to disappoint the version of you who thought that she could keep everybody happy, willing to believe the fear can come with you, but it does not get to drive. I'm saying this to myself as much as I'm saying it to you. Okay. I do not know exactly. what every part of my next chapter will look like, but I do know that I'm already in it. And maybe you are too. So thank you for listening. And at this episode, may you think of a woman standing on the edge of her own next chapter. I really want you to send it to her. Please and thank you. Right. Share it to your stories. Tag the Mommy Collective so that we can also reshare it and shout you guys out. So if you're coming to the summit, please send me a DM and tell me what chapter you're walking into, 'cause I would love to know. I love you, mean it. And I will talk to you next week.