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Bonus iMPROV - I've Been Looking Extra, Extra Forward To It · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  Oh, hey, Francis. I didn't see you there.
• 0:14
  Because I was hiding.
• 0:15
  Oh, you're really good at hiding.
• 0:18
  Do you like my all-black outfit?
• 0:20
  Yes. I like that you have face paint on so you blend into the wall.
• 0:26
  What are we doing here?
• 0:28
  Uh, well, I think it might be very fine friends time.
• 0:33
  Let me check my watch.
• 0:35
  Holy shit.
• 0:37
  You're right.
• 0:38
  You're right.
• 0:40
  And it might be bonus improv o'clock?
• 0:43
  Let me go get Joe out of his cryogenic chamber.
• 0:51
  Morning.
• 0:52
  What year is it?
• 0:53
  It's now.
• 0:54
  Who's the president?
• 0:55
  It's him.
• 0:56
  Good, still no females
• 0:59
  Alright
• 1:01
  Do you guys want a suggestion?
• 1:03
  Do you think you could or do you need a few hundred years to warm up?
• 1:08
  No, I think I got one
• 1:09
  Okay
• 1:09
  Your suggestion is condoms
• 1:13
  Condoms
• 1:15
  Condoms, no thanks
• 1:16
  Okay, condoms
• 1:19
  Condoms have been a recurring topic on our podcast
• 1:24
  Shondoms have
• 1:25
  Yeah
• 1:26
  Yeah.
• 1:29
  They used to give out free ones at the strip club.
• 1:33
  Oh, that's gross.
• 1:33
  It's weird because you're not supposed to have sex with the strippers,
• 1:36
  so why are they doing this?
• 1:38
  Who are these for?
• 1:39
  Were they like branded?
• 1:40
  No, they were like Durex.
• 1:43
  Oh.
• 1:43
  It was like a known...
• 1:45
  It was like a...
• 1:47
  Never mind, I don't want to say anything about the brand.
• 1:49
  Okay.
• 1:51
  But it wasn't like a...
• 1:52
  They didn't have like their logo on it or anything.
• 1:54
  some of them did
• 1:56
  some of them were like
• 1:57
  plain
• 1:57
  it's nice that they
• 1:58
  offered them
• 1:59
  yeah
• 2:00
  yeah that's nice
• 2:04
  I suppose
• 2:04
  yeah thank you
• 2:05
  strip club
• 2:06
  they expire
• 2:07
  don't they
• 2:08
  I think that's the
• 2:09
  yeah
• 2:10
  I always thought
• 2:11
  that was the spermicide
• 2:11
  not like the rubber
• 2:14
  deteriorating
• 2:15
  yeah I think it does
• 2:16
  but I think it's
• 2:17
  because of the spermicide
• 2:17
  oh
• 2:18
  it's like a
• 2:20
  like a bottle of water
• 2:21
  they say the water
• 2:22
  expires
• 2:22
  not really
• 2:22
  not really
• 2:24
  It's a little funky tasting
• 2:26
  Don't mean you can't drink it
• 2:29
  Yeah
• 2:33
  Is it true
• 2:35
  That you shouldn use two condoms Like two condoms is not extra protection Because then they like rub it together and then they could break Only use one fellas One or less
• 2:49
  Preferably less.
• 2:52
  Okay.
• 2:53
  Yeah, I think you're right.
• 2:55
  You don't want to like double bag it?
• 2:58
  I think if you're at the point
• 2:59
  where you need to double bag it,
• 3:00
  you probably just shouldn't be with that person.
• 3:03
  If you're that scared to do something,
• 3:05
  maybe sex isn't for you.
• 3:06
  Well, I'm thinking about like
• 3:08
  not really concerned for you guys,
• 3:10
  but like pregnancy.
• 3:13
  No, it's actually less effective.
• 3:15
  And also too, I mean,
• 3:16
  if you've got three on there,
• 3:18
  it's going to be some tight restriction
• 3:22
  at the base if you're not expecting it.
• 3:26
  There's going to be no feeling.
• 3:28
  Yeah.
• 3:29
  What if that's what I want?
• 3:30
  I don't want to feel anything.
• 3:33
  So just stick to one.
• 3:35
  You hear that listeners?
• 3:36
  were to be safe, zero.
• 3:39
  Yeah.
• 3:40
  That's the only safe way
• 3:41
  to not have a condom break
• 3:42
  is don't use one.
• 3:43
  Well, it's environmentally friendly.
• 3:46
  Oh, to not use one.
• 3:48
  Did you hear about that company
• 3:49
  that was caught
• 3:50
  washing and reselling condoms?
• 3:57
  What?
• 3:58
  Yeah.
• 4:00
  Who would do that?
• 4:03
  It was in another country.
• 4:05
  I don't know which one.
• 4:06
  How are they recollecting them?
• 4:10
  I don't know.
• 4:11
  He probably had like a campaign
• 4:12
  because he probably knew
• 4:13
  what they were going to do.
• 4:15
  Or maybe you're from like brothels
• 4:16
  or something.
• 4:18
  And then some nice
• 4:20
  Midwestern boy
• 4:21
  is going to have his first experience
• 4:23
  and he buys a
• 4:24
  brothel condom?
• 4:27
  No, no, no.
• 4:28
  No.
• 4:28
  Not my Dick Whitman.
• 4:33
  Sorry, Jenna's
• 4:34
  we affected her
• 4:37
  I apologize
• 4:37
  listeners
• 4:38
  not even a deep cut
• 4:39
  Mad Men reference
• 4:40
  could stir Jenna
• 4:41
  from her reverie
• 4:42
  I know
• 4:42
  that's how upset
• 4:43
  she is right now
• 4:44
  I know I got Joe's reference
• 4:45
  but she was still
• 4:46
  so upset
• 4:47
  yeah
• 4:48
  gross
• 4:49
  that's the world
• 4:51
  and now
• 4:54
  improv
• 4:55
  babe
• 5:01
  yeah
• 5:03
  I'm excited to be with you
• 5:06
  Oh, me too
• 5:07
  Been looking forward to it
• 5:09
  I've been looking extra forward to it
• 5:11
  I've been looking extra, extra forward to it
• 5:14
  Don't worry
• 5:15
  I still got
• 5:17
  That
• 5:19
  Safety device
• 5:23
  Oh yeah Yeah I brought it Good Better safe than sorry you know I would have been here earlier but my cousin was using it What
• 5:33
  Well, we only have one in the family.
• 5:37
  You sharing it?
• 5:39
  Oh, yeah, yeah, of course.
• 5:40
  We want to all be safe, you know, babe?
• 5:45
  But how long has this been in your family?
• 5:50
  Oh, since at least the 80s.
• 5:51
  1880s
• 5:54
  Oh god, oh
• 5:57
  Don't worry, we put it out in the sun
• 6:00
  A little, okay, a little vitamin D
• 6:03
  Absolutely
• 6:05
  Oh, 18, oh, it's made of some kind of animal skin
• 6:10
  Yeah, of unknown origin, babe
• 6:12
  Oh, well, it seems a little odd, but
• 6:17
  It's okay
• 6:18
  I'm down if you're down
• 6:20
  I mean, I really was looking forward to this.
• 6:23
  Me too.
• 6:24
  But we have to be safe.
• 6:26
  Yeah.
• 6:27
  I mean, if you're really uncomfortable, I guess I don't have to use it.
• 6:35
  But that's only if that's what you want.
• 6:38
  No.
• 6:39
  Safety first.
• 6:41
  Okay.
• 6:41
  Yeah, then my grandpa, great-great-grandpa, great-great-great-great-grandpa.
• 6:46
  It'll be like I'm having sex with all of them.
• 6:48
  And their wives.
• 6:49
  Oh, yeah, their wives.
• 6:50
  And their mistresses.
• 6:52
  Oh, they used these on their mistresses, too.
• 6:54
  Didn't I tell you all of my great-great-great-grandmas were saloon women?
• 7:01
  All of your great-great-great-grandmas?
• 7:03
  Yeah, they worked in the saloons.
• 7:06
  They used this with their customers.
• 7:09
  Did I ever tell you all of my great-great-great-grandfathers were cowboys?
• 7:16
  What?
• 7:17
  Yeah.
• 7:18
  Babe.
• 7:19
  I wonder if they ever knocked cowboy boots.
• 7:25
  Oh, come on. You know those wicker strands braided somewhere back in the strands of time?
• 7:33
  What?
• 7:36
  You know.
• 7:39
  Wow. I feel so close to you.
• 7:41
  I feel so close to, like, generations now.
• 7:45
  Oh, yeah. This just goes to show that time doesn't mean anything.
• 7:49
  Yeah.
• 7:50
  You hear that music somewhere?
• 7:52
  Yeah.
• 7:53
  It's like old Western music.
• 7:55
  Yeah.
• 7:56
  It's a little piano.
• 7:58
  Oh.
• 7:59
  Oh.
• 8:00
  You hear it too?
• 8:04
  I hear it.
• 8:06
  Yeah.
• 8:07
  Oh babe Oh God it getting me hot I already hot I so hot I so steamed Oh my God Here give me the safety device Here here it is
• 8:18
  I'm struggling with it.
• 8:19
  Oh, I got it.
• 8:20
  Oh, you got it?
• 8:20
  I got it, I got it.
• 8:21
  Okay, so definitely want to use it.
• 8:22
  Go ahead.
• 8:22
  Yeah, I got safety first.
• 8:23
  Great, yes, me too.
• 8:24
  Me too.
• 8:25
  Okay.
• 8:25
  All right.
• 8:27
  Oh, God, it's...
• 8:29
  I could...
• 8:31
  It's got...
• 8:31
  Notches on it.
• 8:34
  Yes, for every one.
• 8:36
  Go.
• 8:36
  Oh, it's signed.
• 8:40
  Great Grandpappy was here.
• 8:42
  Oh, it's weird.
• 8:43
  Look further down.
• 8:43
  Oh.
• 8:44
  Abe Lincoln.
• 8:48
  You're related to Abe Lincoln?
• 8:49
  Yes.
• 8:51
  Wow.
• 8:52
  Yeah.
• 8:53
  So it'd be like you're doing...
• 8:55
  Look, I'll put the hat on.
• 8:58
  Oh, God.
• 8:59
  Oh, God.
• 9:00
  It's so hot.
• 9:01
  Yeah.
• 9:02
  Let's get in the buggy.
• 9:04
  It's so hot.
• 9:05
  What are the odds? Your great, great, great, great people would be cowboys and mine would be saloon women.
• 9:11
  God.
• 9:11
  It's amazing.
• 9:12
  I feel like history right now.
• 9:15
  Oh, I just got a ding from 23andMe. Hold on.
• 9:20
  Oh, you have the app and you have it set to alert you?
• 9:24
  Yeah, it's crazy. What does it say?
• 9:26
  Oh, I do too.
• 9:27
  Hold on.
• 9:27
  Attention, attention. You are not descended from any saloon women.
• 9:34
  nor any president.
• 9:37
  Oh, you have the voice feature turned on.
• 9:40
  It's default, babe.
• 9:42
  Oh, God.
• 9:43
  You are in fact descended
• 9:46
  from minimum wage circus performers
• 9:51
  and not very talented ones.
• 9:55
  Oh.
• 9:56
  Really, they weren't even performers.
• 9:58
  They were like the janitors of the circus.
• 10:01
  I mean, they didn't have janitors,
• 10:02
  but, like, if they did, that's what your ancestors would have been.
• 10:07
  This is a really in-depth analysis.
• 10:10
  You still cool? You still good?
• 10:13
  Um, I don't know.
• 10:14
  No, wait, wait.
• 10:15
  I thought I was going to be fucking history, basically.
• 10:22
  I'm still part of history, babe.
• 10:24
  We spun, we twirled.
• 10:26
  And also, nothing historical ever happened at the circus that your ancestors worked for.
• 10:34
  You would think that that in and of itself would be historical, but it's not.
• 10:40
  How about we don't use it?
• 10:48
  Scene.
• 10:56
  Thank you.