Latest / Dear Chelsea / Hole Out, But Classy with Tana Mongeau

Transcript

Hole Out, But Classy with Tana Mongeau · Dear Chelsea

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, guys, here are my dates for the High and
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Mighty Tour. In June, I will be in Hyannas, Massachusetts,
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: and then two shows in Nantucket. In August, you can
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: find me in Red Bank, New Jersey, Montclair, New Jersey,
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: and Calgary.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: That's Canada.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: And September I will be in Santa Barbara, San Diego,
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: New York City, Philly, and New Haven, Connecticut. October is Atlanta, Baltimore, Saginaw, Michigan, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Boise, Idaho,
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: and Spokane. And then in November I'll be in San Francisco.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: I'm coming to Salt Lake City, Austin, Houston, Dallas Babies,
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: I'll be there. And then in December I am closing
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: out my tour in Denver and Vancouver. So get your
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: tickets at Chelseahandler dot com for the High and Mighty Tour.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: Hello Hi, Chelsea, hiy Hi, what's happening? What is happening?
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: You have a different makeup on today?
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: I do.
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: I never do lip gloss, but I did and I
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: will like I found myself in the car even though
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: my hair is too short for it to blow into
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: my lip gloss.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: I was like leaning away from the window.
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: I'm like, this is not I don't know.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: I'm not usually lop class. You know how I feel
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: about lip gloss.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: I feel the same way, but I always feel on
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: I put yeah, yeah.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: Yes, but gloss is like a little.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, lip gloss ends up getting a lot of too,
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: a lot of other places.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: Other than your lips.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Yes, unfortunately, yes it tends to I like a map finish.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: Is how I feel. That's how I feel about esthetics
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: in general. I like a map finish.
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: You like to be glammed up, Like when you're at
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: like a show, an awards show, are you kind of like.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: You could take it or leave it.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: I could take it or leave it. But I do
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: appreciate when I look like at the Roast, Like I
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: loved the way that I.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: Looked when I sit and when I saw videos.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Of that, like I was like, wow, you look really good.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: So when I say myself or like critics' choice, when
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: I get really glad, remember once in a while, I'm
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: like wow, yeah, you know, like with the hair, they'll
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: do something and they add pieces and you look like
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: a completely different person or ten years younger. I'm like,
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: I think the volume of hair can really take off age. Oh,
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: for sure, sakes, you look pressure more vibrant.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: So I like that.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: But I mean, yeah, I'm not really one for sitting
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: around getting my hair and makeup done.
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: You're not like a Chris Jenner is like every morning.
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: No, I could never do that.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: But then I look at what I create on my
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: own and it's a hot mess.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: So you know, I don't know what.
• 2:16
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: I'd like to be on vacation with a little tan
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: and then I don't have to worry about anything.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: Well you know who did arrive looking on point with
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: our guests this week?
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: I listen.
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: I have to tell you I was so pleased because
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: she pulled up in a Bentley And I have a
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: little bit of a thing of like, if you're driving
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: your own Bentley, that's like not how it's supposed to work. Like,
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: if you have a Bentley, someone should be driving.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: And somebody was driving her Bentley.
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: She got out of the passenger side and I had
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: to say, good job, girl.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, good job.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she's a hot mess. Great and her name, well,
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: she's an influencer. She's a former MTV mischief maker, and
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: her new podcast is called brand Safe, which is out now,
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: Please welcome Tana Monge. Are we rolling because.
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: I want to?
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: Is the question? Here's a question question.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: I have been mispronouncing this woman's name ever since I
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: met her, and we're gonna tell her og story because
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: it's ridiculous. And I've been calling her Tala Mangano, which
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: is close to calling her MONGOLOI mang Chelsea.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: Can I tell you something?
• 3:21
  Speaker 5: I feel like if one day you called me and
• 3:23
  Speaker 5: you were like, well, you wouldn't call me, You'd send
• 3:25
  Speaker 5: me a video and you'd be like high in bed.
• 3:27
  Speaker 5: If you called me and you were like, hey, Tana,
• 3:29
  Speaker 5: I would be like, what did I do?
• 3:31
  Speaker 4: Like I.
• 3:33
  Speaker 5: Feel in trouble almost right, Well, you would be in
• 3:35
  Speaker 5: trouble if I called you?
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: Well yeah, I mean I would I leave you video
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: which I live. By the way, I've logged to you,
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: and it's funny because sometimes you'll send me one and I'm.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: Like, you get that microphone a little bit farther away
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: from your mouth.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: You don't. I'm eat it. I'm a star, are you always?
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: I have a banana on the way Bana allowed to
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: have one banana per day.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah, that's kind of what my conservator tells me.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: You know I should.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: Okay, let's get your name. It's Tauna.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: It's Tanna. It's Tanna.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: But you what I'm saying?
• 4:08
  Speaker 5: I again, I think that if you really hit me
• 4:10
  Speaker 5: with a Tana, I would be in trouble.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: Okay, Why do I think it's Tauna because I just.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: Chelsea, I don't know it's Tana, but she thought it
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: was just my pronunciation. You know what actually it is, though?
• 4:21
  Speaker 5: Is that phonetically it is Tauna like Lana l A
• 4:25
  Speaker 5: n A h A n a would be like right,
• 4:27
  Speaker 5: right right, you know what I mean? So I my
• 4:29
  Speaker 5: parents kind of but I you know, they weren't really
• 4:31
  Speaker 5: phonetic people.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: Okay, Well you don't even talk to your parents at all?
• 4:35
  Speaker 5: No, Okay, and if I did, I guess I wouldn't
• 4:36
  Speaker 5: really lead with phonics.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: I have a few more issues to kind of.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: You know that?
• 4:41
  Speaker 4: Good?
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: Okay, So it's Mojo Monjo, Mojo, mojo jo.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: Yes, it's French.
• 4:49
  Speaker 5: It's giving face smashed on keyboard for sure.
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: It's giving a little New Orleans that so deeply French
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: quarter New Orleans.
• 4:59
  Speaker 5: Okay, you know take that. I used to really hate
• 5:01
  Speaker 5: New Orleans, but I've been I don't know. I was
• 5:03
  Speaker 5: roofed there a lot, like you know.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: That'll do it for Yeah, I had I only have fondness.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: I mean, well not only, but one of my fond
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: memories of New Orleans is that was when fifty cent
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: and I accidentally debuted our relationship.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: And they're gonna say accidentally dated. I left saying accident.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: Well that was an accident too, So I mean all
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: dating is pretty much an accident.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: It really is, honest, until you.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: Get into like the sixth, sixth or seventh week of it,
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: and then it becomes intentional. Like when you're meeting someone
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: and getting to know them, that is kind of accidental
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: in the beginning initially.
• 5:33
  Speaker 5: So were you in the accidental stage with fifty in
• 5:36
  Speaker 5: New Orleans?
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because he was like, I I'll come wherever you are.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: Where are you going to be? And I was like,
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: I'm going to be in New Orleans. I have a
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: show this weekend and you're welcome to come, but like
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: you know, I don't I'm not guaranteeing anything. And so
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: he got a room and he came with his security guard,
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: and I said, let's go for a walk on the street.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: And he was like, I can't do that. And I
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: was like, let's go for a walk in the street,
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: like you can do it, and he couldn't do that
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: because we walked outside and it was a fucking shit show.
• 6:06
  Speaker 5: It's so fucked up when you tell me a story
• 6:09
  Speaker 5: because I have to sit and smile like I don't
• 6:11
  Speaker 5: know it, like I'm not a fucking murderer, and I'm like,
• 6:13
  Speaker 5: oh my god, that's so funny. I totally haven't consumed that,
• 6:16
  Speaker 5: like seventy thousand times.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: Let's get to our art, let's get to me, let's
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: get to our og story so people understand our dynamic
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: because it's abusive. And I just want to say that
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: I'm abusive to her because she's ridiculous and it's out
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: of love. I wouldn't abuse you if I didn't love you.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: I don't know that. I know you know that, but
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: just explaining to anyone who might be a new listener, Yes.
• 6:36
  Speaker 5: But I love Like even the other day, I was
• 6:38
  Speaker 5: talking about that in the car and I was like,
• 6:40
  Speaker 5: I find it so sweet obviously that you even take
• 6:42
  Speaker 5: the time. And then I know that when you love someone,
• 6:45
  Speaker 5: you'll like give them a little bit of shit.
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: That means you're on the.
• 6:47
  Speaker 5: Good side with you. So it's just I don't know,
• 6:50
  Speaker 5: it's beautiful. But it did start with me stalking you down.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well kind of we were on the same but
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: you weren't stalking me. Yeah.
• 6:55
  Speaker 5: We I like, actually, I did just book a ticket
• 6:58
  Speaker 5: on a flight that you were on. But then I
• 7:00
  Speaker 5: got to the airport and I went into psychosis.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: And I think that's important.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: We were at Jet Suite in Vegas because I was
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: coming from my show in Vegas and you were in
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: We were in the little lounge of Jet Suite. Have
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: you flown Jet Sweet No, but the most way to fly. Unfortunately,
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: they don't fly everywhere. It's more regional right now, but
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: they do kind of have some flights across country. But
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: you can bring your dog and you can I'm supposed anyway,
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: I saw out of the corner of my eye, like
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: the age range of a girl that and I saw
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: her reaction that. I was like, she was like, I
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: can tell she is a fan, and I was like, okay,
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: you know, and I'm right right, and I saw it,
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: but I was also, it's Vegas. It's the morning, I'm hungover,
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to get out of there.
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: You're also not going to go up to someone and say,
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: do you know me? Are you a fan?
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: So I just saw it, but I and then she
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: got up and removed herself from.
• 7:54
  Speaker 5: Because I had to, like one. I was like, I
• 7:57
  Speaker 5: have to remove myself from this airport right now, or
• 7:59
  Speaker 5: I'm going to at this woman who actually just does
• 8:01
  Speaker 5: not know me, you know what I mean. I don't
• 8:02
  Speaker 5: know her, she doesn't know me. I was like assaulting
• 8:04
  Speaker 5: my boyfriend. I'm grabbing his arm. I was like, let
• 8:06
  Speaker 5: me just walk outside, let me take a breath, because
• 8:08
  Speaker 5: you just when you're leaving Vegas, you're already in a
• 8:11
  Speaker 5: mentality where it's like, get me the fuck out of here.
• 8:13
  Speaker 5: I feel dirty, I feel gross, like I don't want
• 8:16
  Speaker 5: to be here. And then I walk into the airport
• 8:17
  Speaker 5: and I just look a mess and I'm like, oh
• 8:19
  Speaker 5: my god, that's my idol, like just sitting over there,
• 8:21
  Speaker 5: and I was like, I don't know, just freaking the
• 8:24
  Speaker 5: fuck out.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: Well, that's really sweet and cute.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: I don't know what you're doing with your leg, but
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: you need to get comfortable because this is like up
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: here and you community, Okay, I apologize to the scoliosis community.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: It's good to just apologize in the moment I've been learning. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: absolutely ahead of it.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know if that explains you're sitting,
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: but okay, we'll go with that. I mean, I don't
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: even know if I believe you. Quite frankly, well.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: I'm speedbawling right now.
• 8:50
  Speaker 5: Also because whenever I see Chelsea, there is like I
• 8:54
  Speaker 5: have to consume a certain amount of things before I
• 8:56
  Speaker 5: see you.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: What did you take today? I started with a red Bull.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: I was like, let mena wake up, let me. I
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: was watching.
• 9:02
  Speaker 5: Someone like eleven am too. It's just like Jesus, you.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: Know, that's the only time you would need a red
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: Bull to be honest, like, I'm not having a red
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: Bull at five o'clock at night.
• 9:11
  Speaker 5: And also I should be awake by eleven am. I'm
• 9:13
  Speaker 5: just not a morning part right, okay, you know. And
• 9:16
  Speaker 5: then the x an x the quarterbar before I see
• 9:18
  Speaker 5: you every time, and honestly, to be real with you,
• 9:20
  Speaker 5: I could use another one, but it's still not enough.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: I love that you take xanax and are out and about.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: Like if I take a xanx I go to bed, it.
• 9:26
  Speaker 5: Gives me energy, weirdly, which I think says so much
• 9:29
  Speaker 5: about your Like, what do you mean that I take
• 9:32
  Speaker 5: ax and I'm like cleaning the house.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: It's like if someone takes an adderall and it doesn't
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: impact them, it's because.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: Wait, what is the reason I have ADHD?
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: If you know, Yeah, if you don't feel anything, you
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: have ADHD. But if you do feel something, you yeah,
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: if you feel up from it, yeah, And that.
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: Means you're just partying on directly. Yes, do you like adderall?
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: I don't really I like adderall.
• 9:54
  Speaker 5: But then sometimes I'm like counting my pores and I'm like, okay.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, like it's it's meth. I don't like to
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: be amped. But I've been taking a Celsius. I've taken
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: to Celia. I love taking Celsius. I've been taking I
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: wanted to say I've taken too Celsius recently. I have
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: these little brain energy drinks that I drink that are healthy,
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: and but I've started taking like, instead of one, I've
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: been taking two or three because my engine is.
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: Like really running low right now in this moment.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: And so I this morning I had a Celsius and
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: then I had natural plant based caffeine and so I'm
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: wide awake but also asleep.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: I call those the sad zoomies.
• 10:31
  Speaker 5: Uh huh, like where it's like the coffee is coursing
• 10:33
  Speaker 5: through your veins but you're still sad about it and
• 10:36
  Speaker 5: it like still kind of hurts.
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: My eyes hurt. Yeah, I do. My eyes hurt. My
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: eyes always hurt.
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: I don't.
• 10:42
  Speaker 5: I don't think I like being awake, but you just
• 10:44
  Speaker 5: point blank myrious, like my favorite pastime is sleeping.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: Let me give you some background on Tana.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: This is what I know.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: She is a She is the definition of an influencer.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: You're the ultimate influencer.
• 10:58
  Speaker 5: I was gonna say that's really nice, but the come
• 11:00
  Speaker 5: from you and also my feeling.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: Well, no, I mean, I'm just saying it plainly because
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: that's true. You have built a career on being an influencer,
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: and you've also had like a whole journey. I've given
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: up on not using the word journey because I can't
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: find a replacement word.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: I think journey is pretty accurate.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: I know, I just find it to be a little
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: bit corny.
• 11:18
  Speaker 5: Yeah, journey, And like my journey in question is like
• 11:21
  Speaker 5: getting arrested at Coachella. Tell yourself, yeah, journey does insinuate
• 11:26
  Speaker 5: something yeah, Rander.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: So one of the things you're you stopped drinking, and
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: that was and this is something we have in common.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: So I understand why you feel a kindred spirit with
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: me because I also am a professional drinker.
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: I thought you're about to say you stopped drinking. No,
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: I was like, I'm relapsing. No, I'm not drink something's wrong.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: I'm not giving up on alcohol.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: We have an understanding, and please don't we get each
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: other like the people need it. But I understand when
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: when I met you, You're like, oh, I stopped drinking,
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: and this is kind of like my idea, not not
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: your whole identity, but a big part of who you are.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: And you share a lot of information about your personal life,
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: as I have done my entire life, and I like that.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: I think that that's very genuine, and I think that
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: that's important because so many people are putting out this
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: kind of like persona of themselves. And that's fine if
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: you're an actor and you want your privacy, or if
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: you're I don't know, I don't know what other fields
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: of interest where you're not, you don't necessarily want to
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: be transparent about who you are. But I really relate
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: to people who are themselves and who can be in
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: a who can be a hot mess on camera and off,
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean, because it's not an act.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: I mean, you're a hot mess with or without drinking.
• 12:35
  Speaker 5: So I made the drinking because I was just thinking
• 12:37
  Speaker 5: about that too, Like I mean, first of all, I'm
• 12:40
  Speaker 5: so happy that I met you in a time of
• 12:41
  Speaker 5: my life that I'm not drinking, because I think that
• 12:44
  Speaker 5: my drunk brain would have been like I could keep
• 12:47
  Speaker 5: up with Chelsea and like jaw swinging, and I would
• 12:49
  Speaker 5: have been trying to keep up with you, and I
• 12:51
  Speaker 5: would have just like I would have had to kill myself.
• 12:54
  Speaker 5: It would have been so embarrassing what I would have done.
• 12:56
  Speaker 5: So I definitely am like grateful for that in that regard,
• 12:59
  Speaker 5: but still a hot mess for sure. I think for
• 13:01
  Speaker 5: a long time, I tied my identity so much to
• 13:04
  Speaker 5: like alcohol, and I almost had this thought process that
• 13:07
  Speaker 5: if I wasn't partying and having those type of stories,
• 13:10
  Speaker 5: that no one would be interested. And it like my
• 13:13
  Speaker 5: identity was so tied to it, I guess, And yes,
• 13:15
  Speaker 5: I'm happy to know that I can still bring the
• 13:17
  Speaker 5: hot mess and it's just who I am and I
• 13:19
  Speaker 5: was thinking about that today because in Vegas when I
• 13:21
  Speaker 5: was with you last I packed and I didn't try
• 13:23
  Speaker 5: on my outfit and I brought this skirt and my
• 13:26
  Speaker 5: asshole was just out the entire in your asshole out
• 13:29
  Speaker 5: a long, yes, like you've seen my asshole more than
• 13:31
  Speaker 5: you haven't. And I was like, you know what, Yeah,
• 13:33
  Speaker 5: it's not the alcohol, like, that's just it's me.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: And you're in love now too, Yes, you're you're I
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: mean your Instagram is filled with naked pictures, like your
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: skirt comes up to hear and not that I'm you
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: know who am I to tought? Obviously I'm naked all
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: the time too, So it's not a judgment, it's just
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: a clarification, yest.
• 13:50
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I think I think people have gathered that for sure.
• 13:53
  Speaker 5: I'm definitely naked.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're naked and you like it and I too,
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: and then and that's fine. Why why wouldn't you?
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: Why don't like duality these days?
• 13:59
  Speaker 5: You know, sometimes it's a turtleneck and sometimes it's whole out.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and we don't always know what we're gonna do.
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: Well, like recently you posted a picture you were like
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: lying on a table at a party, but like you
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: had a napkin covering your behind, so.
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: It was like hold out to keep it classic, right.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: Was it a panteliner?
• 14:14
  Speaker 5: No? I think it was like a dirty napkin that
• 14:16
  Speaker 5: I wiped the taffalo sauce on like thirty seconds prior.
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: And some things just do. Yeah, they never change. But
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: what does your boyfriend think about you and your behavior?
• 14:25
  Speaker 5: He is truly the most patient person I have ever met,
• 14:29
  Speaker 5: and I definitely have these moments where I'm like radicalized.
• 14:31
  Speaker 5: I'm like you should leave me, Like I put him
• 14:34
  Speaker 5: through and he loves it and I don't know how
• 14:37
  Speaker 5: or why, and I think that's where I feel very lucky.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: But he is.
• 14:40
  Speaker 5: He's the sound, responsible guy who like loves the entertainment
• 14:44
  Speaker 5: of me. And it's even right now, I'm like I
• 14:48
  Speaker 5: was fostering a dog. I failed. I adopted him. The
• 14:51
  Speaker 5: dog's pissing everywhere. He's like, was this really the best idea? Like,
• 14:55
  Speaker 5: and I'm just but I'm like, I.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: Bring the whimsy. Yeah, yeah, you bring the care. That's
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: what I tell myself to sleep at night.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, the guy I'm dating, so it calls me
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: a sexy tornado.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: I am. So that's honestly an amazing compliment. It is.
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: I like to be a sexy tornado. That's exactly what
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: I was aiming to do in life.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: Yes, one hundred yeah.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: So I feel like you might be in a similar
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: situation because you're a boyfriend's Hawaiian, so it takes you
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: to Hawaii quite often.
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: Did you just buy a place there?
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: I did, yeah, so.
• 15:19
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and that's it's so nice to just go there
• 15:23
  Speaker 5: and remember that LA is kind of just this fake
• 15:26
  Speaker 5: bubble and like this and love LA for what it is,
• 15:29
  Speaker 5: but like meet people with values and meet people who
• 15:33
  Speaker 5: are just they're calmer, they're just I've never had chill
• 15:36
  Speaker 5: a day in my life. I'm from Las Vegas. I
• 15:38
  Speaker 5: moved to LA. Like I'm going one hundred miles a minute,
• 15:41
  Speaker 5: I'm screaming, my hole is out, like, you know, just
• 15:44
  Speaker 5: it's nice to have the calm mixed in.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: I saw something Mini Driver posted just talking about how
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: everyone should go to Hawaii at some point in their
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: life because how peaceful and magical the land is, which
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: is true, like when you go there, you do have
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: a feeling that you don't feel elsewhere, Like you can't
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: compare Hawaii to another place really that I visited, Like,
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: I agree, even though like the topography or like climate
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: would be the same or similar in like Bali, it's
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: totally different, yeah, than Hawaii Hawaii, you know, like all
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: of the stuff is different, and Hawaii is singular in
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: that I think, like, and there's a very healing vibe
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: that you get when you get off the plane in
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: a Hawaii and they hand you a lay and you're like,
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: am I on the fucking love boat?
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 16:22
  Speaker 4: Yes?
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: You know I don't deserve this.
• 16:24
  Speaker 5: Take the lay off me, you know what I mean, like,
• 16:25
  Speaker 5: give it to someone exactly.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: You're like, this must have taken a lot of time
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: and how did you?
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: And I'm where?
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: And then I'm like and it smells so fresh and
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: it really sets the tone for your trip.
• 16:35
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and I'm wearing like a buffalo sauce stained allo
• 16:37
  Speaker 5: hoodie and it's like someone else deserves What do you.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: Do with all your lays when you get off the plane?
• 16:43
  Speaker 5: They stopped doing it at the airport, and they mainly
• 16:46
  Speaker 5: will do it at like resorts and stuff like that.
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: But people put them in the fridge.
• 16:49
  Speaker 5: They preserve them, like I preserved a feel I didn't
• 16:51
  Speaker 5: know I was a preserver until I met him, Like
• 16:54
  Speaker 5: you met him.
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: That's another good one, and it is just great.
• 16:57
  Speaker 5: I mean, I think that the thing I love the
• 17:00
  Speaker 5: most about him is how responsible he is. And I
• 17:02
  Speaker 5: think that when you are at least when I was
• 17:05
  Speaker 5: writing out a list of things that I wanted in
• 17:07
  Speaker 5: a partner or would find sexy and find attractive my
• 17:10
  Speaker 5: whole life.
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: I was never really I want a responsible.
• 17:12
  Speaker 5: Man, like I think he was everything that I didn't
• 17:15
  Speaker 5: know I needed, which is beautiful in that way. You know,
• 17:18
  Speaker 5: you think you know exactly what you want in a partner,
• 17:20
  Speaker 5: and it's almost like we are opposites in a lot
• 17:22
  Speaker 5: of ways, but it like works. Yeah, there's there's a
• 17:25
  Speaker 5: yin and a yang that balance out.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because two hot message don't work together at all.
• 17:30
  Speaker 5: And I think for so long I wanted that and
• 17:31
  Speaker 5: then it's like, wait, yeah I did too. My boyfriend's
• 17:33
  Speaker 5: like TikTok dancing and cheating on me on Snapchat And
• 17:37
  Speaker 5: where how did I get here?
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: You know, do you have fitness and wellness questions? Well,
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: Chelsea's personal trainer Ben Bruno is about to guess on
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: an episode, So right into Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: dot com with all your fitness and wellness questions.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: I want to talk about your new podcast, which is
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: called brand Safe.
• 17:56
  Speaker 5: This is actually the first time I'm talking it.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, this is very exciting. So I'm gonna throw up
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: because you've been talking about this a lot to me personally,
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: but talking about launching this podcast. It's called brand Safe,
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: and you've had, You've come from two other successful podcasts,
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: one of which you ended, one of which you're still
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: doing right, yes, yes, okay, So do you want to
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: talk a little bit about those two podcasts at all,
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: why you ended one, why you decided to start one
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: on your own.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, let's go.
• 18:24
  Speaker 5: I mean, so Canceled is the one that ended, and
• 18:27
  Speaker 5: it was like such a magical time. I look at
• 18:30
  Speaker 5: it as this like really fucked up scrap book that
• 18:34
  Speaker 5: I get to show my kids one day. And we
• 18:36
  Speaker 5: were just young and party. I was partying a lot,
• 18:39
  Speaker 5: at least in Los Angeles and kind of coming on
• 18:41
  Speaker 5: and just airing people out. Like I was definitely a
• 18:45
  Speaker 5: lot crazier in that regard. I was going out and
• 18:47
  Speaker 5: I would always say I was collecting more, you know.
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: I was kind of like my Chelsea lately. Yeah, you
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: were canceled.
• 18:52
  Speaker 5: That's funny because today when we shoot Brand Safe, that
• 18:55
  Speaker 5: was one thing I wanted to talk to you a
• 18:57
  Speaker 5: lot about, is just all of the different reinventions and
• 18:59
  Speaker 5: rebirths you've had and how you and if you hold
• 19:02
  Speaker 5: hands with all of these different eras that you've had
• 19:05
  Speaker 5: and stuff, because I find that very interesting and that's
• 19:07
  Speaker 5: how I feel now that I'm in this reworth. But
• 19:09
  Speaker 5: I could have never gotten here without that girl. And
• 19:12
  Speaker 5: she was very messy, and she did a lot of
• 19:14
  Speaker 5: things that I need to make reparations for probably until
• 19:17
  Speaker 5: the day I die, right yea, yeah, But it was
• 19:20
  Speaker 5: very entertaining and it was an amazing time. And then
• 19:23
  Speaker 5: just towards the end of it, I did I got sober,
• 19:26
  Speaker 5: I fell in love. I was talking about green juice
• 19:28
  Speaker 5: and like my ibs and like I didn't have the
• 19:32
  Speaker 5: interesting chaotic things to bring to the table as much,
• 19:35
  Speaker 5: you know, and broke my co host same things.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: She got married, and it just it.
• 19:39
  Speaker 5: Became this like beautiful ending where we ran off into
• 19:42
  Speaker 5: the sunset and it was time to end it, you
• 19:45
  Speaker 5: know what I mean. And it was just it was
• 19:46
  Speaker 5: also in La every week, it was a different lifestyle
• 19:48
  Speaker 5: like now I'm kind of shooting everywhere and stuff, just
• 19:51
  Speaker 5: doing something more I guess on brand with my lifestyle now,
• 19:56
  Speaker 5: you know, I was holding on to like a version
• 19:58
  Speaker 5: of myself that I needed to.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: Hmmm, you know part ways with Well, I think that's
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: the natural evolution of somebody who's actually, like, you know,
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: thinking about life instead of just like having life happen.
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, oh wow, that was really sweet.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's true, like we grow up, and like, if
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: you're not growing up at some point, it's not interesting.
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: I agree, I think.
• 20:17
  Speaker 5: And for so long again, I was tied to this
• 20:18
  Speaker 5: idea where if I grew or if I was doing
• 20:21
  Speaker 5: anything with substance or intelligence that I was, no one
• 20:25
  Speaker 5: would be interested. And it got to this point where
• 20:27
  Speaker 5: I was like, that's just not true, and my fans
• 20:28
  Speaker 5: are amazing for that, for showing up for me.
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: No matter what it did.
• 20:32
  Speaker 5: It started to feel kind of regressive and repetitive, and
• 20:35
  Speaker 5: like just the drama centric stuff also can be very
• 20:40
  Speaker 5: taxing on your mental health if you're not wanting to
• 20:42
  Speaker 5: stand in the line of fire, if you're not wanting
• 20:44
  Speaker 5: to deal with all the discourse and the clips and
• 20:46
  Speaker 5: the commentary and stuff, and yeah, it came to this
• 20:50
  Speaker 5: like very poetic end, and it's great.
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: I still can't shut the fuck up. Yeah, So here
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: I am continuing to.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: So what's the story with your parents?
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: God?
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: Do you have a a week?
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: I mean, just give us the sound bites, like I know,
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: I just read.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: I don't know, Like, just give me a clip.
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: I didn't know this well, I just I didn't know
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: this about you. And I was reading your notes and
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: it said you haven't spoken to them since you were thirteen,
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, are you moved.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: Out when you were thirteen? Right?
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: And I wish I could have fucking moved out when
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: I was two, street I wanted to move out when
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: I was six.
• 21:19
  Speaker 5: That is why I resonate with you so hard. I
• 21:21
  Speaker 5: think that when you speak even about like your thoughts
• 21:25
  Speaker 5: as a child, especially in this last book, you did
• 21:27
  Speaker 5: a lot of.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: That, you know what I mean. You talk about how
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: you knew.
• 21:30
  Speaker 5: You were destined for a first class you were destined
• 21:32
  Speaker 5: for a different life, that they weren't gonna necessarily do
• 21:35
  Speaker 5: it for you. And you knew that from a very
• 21:37
  Speaker 5: young age, which I feel like a lot of people
• 21:39
  Speaker 5: don't necessarily grow up like that. There is they have
• 21:42
  Speaker 5: much more naivity to their childhood, you know. And I
• 21:44
  Speaker 5: feel like I was very similar to you in that
• 21:47
  Speaker 5: regard where I woke up in this world. I was
• 21:49
  Speaker 5: born into it, and I was like, oh, you people.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: Are Yeah, I would feel like the idea that your
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: parents are like, I've definitely never felt unsafe in my home.
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: It wasn't like that. But the idea that my parents
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: were the ones that we're going to take care of
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: me was ludicrous. Like I was like, this is not
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: a possibility, exactly, Chelsea.
• 22:07
  Speaker 5: And I think that is the difference. I think my
• 22:09
  Speaker 5: home was also a very unsafe home. It was very
• 22:11
  Speaker 5: turbulent in a lot of ways. I mean, my dad
• 22:13
  Speaker 5: was in the Vietnam War, he had a lot of PTSD.
• 22:16
  Speaker 5: They were both older, born in the fifties, just very
• 22:18
  Speaker 5: out of touch and with everything. And my mom was
• 22:21
  Speaker 5: very depressed and just the I hate to call her
• 22:25
  Speaker 5: the common case of a victim of lots of failed
• 22:27
  Speaker 5: abusive relationships, but that's.
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: What it was, you know.
• 22:30
  Speaker 5: And yeah, from a very young age, I knew like,
• 22:33
  Speaker 5: this is just not gonna fit, you know. And my
• 22:35
  Speaker 5: best friend's family was very kind to start taking me
• 22:38
  Speaker 5: in from thirteen on and just giving me the good
• 22:42
  Speaker 5: meal on the table, showing me that a holiday is
• 22:44
  Speaker 5: something you should celebrate, showing me that there can be
• 22:47
  Speaker 5: happy moments and that love is unconditional.
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: My parents were also.
• 22:49
  Speaker 5: Extreme narcissists, and narcissistic abuse is also just very hard
• 22:53
  Speaker 5: to go through because you're never going to get the
• 22:56
  Speaker 5: accountability or the apology or the glution.
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: Yes, exactly.
• 23:00
  Speaker 5: And it eventually got to a point, I think where
• 23:02
  Speaker 5: it just continued to snowball, and I realized I was
• 23:05
  Speaker 5: because I spent a lot of my childhood, I guess,
• 23:07
  Speaker 5: trying to make them into something better, like hoping, living
• 23:12
  Speaker 5: on this edge of hope that they would wake up
• 23:14
  Speaker 5: one day and grow. And eventually it was just like,
• 23:16
  Speaker 5: this isn't going to happen, and I have to go
• 23:18
  Speaker 5: no contact for my mental health. That was right after
• 23:21
  Speaker 5: they sued me. That was kind of like a big catalyst.
• 23:24
  Speaker 5: What slander and defamation itau?
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: You were talking about them publicly, yes, and.
• 23:30
  Speaker 5: I had had an MTV show and on the reality show,
• 23:32
  Speaker 5: I was kind of detailing what my childhood was like.
• 23:35
  Speaker 5: And that was super hard for me because I was like,
• 23:37
  Speaker 5: not only was I telling the truth. I was telling
• 23:39
  Speaker 5: one one thousandth of the truth, you know. So it
• 23:41
  Speaker 5: was it was a cash grab, and it was one
• 23:43
  Speaker 5: of those things where it was like and that was
• 23:44
  Speaker 5: just the thousandth time where that was all I felt like,
• 23:47
  Speaker 5: you know what I mean, was a check to them,
• 23:48
  Speaker 5: and you know, they wanted to take credit for all
• 23:50
  Speaker 5: of my success and we made you and if anything,
• 23:53
  Speaker 5: everything I was was to fight them for so long
• 23:56
  Speaker 5: and was to be nothing like them, I guess, you know.
• 24:00
  Speaker 5: And yeah, eventually it had to be no contact just
• 24:03
  Speaker 5: for my mental well for you and thank you. I
• 24:05
  Speaker 5: think so many people, you know, they want to argue that,
• 24:08
  Speaker 5: right because they don't understand.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: They want to be like, but it's your blood and
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: it's your parents.
• 24:11
  Speaker 5: And I always just try to tell people it's like
• 24:13
  Speaker 5: if someone is no contact with their family, it means
• 24:16
  Speaker 5: they have tried everything. Like that's never it's not option one,
• 24:20
  Speaker 5: you know what I mean. You try and you try
• 24:22
  Speaker 5: and you try and you fail.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: And I don't know.
• 24:24
  Speaker 5: Now I've finally made a lot of peace with that.
• 24:27
  Speaker 5: I think for a while I was drinking about that.
• 24:29
  Speaker 5: I think for a while I was angry, and I
• 24:32
  Speaker 5: think I got to a full point of just empathy
• 24:34
  Speaker 5: that they weren't that generation too, like mental health was
• 24:38
  Speaker 5: not a thing for their generation, and just so many
• 24:41
  Speaker 5: different things.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: It's just also a nice lesson to talk about and
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: to think about, because you've got me thinking about all
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: the different ways in which you can find parents in life.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: It's so true and like mother's parents, like I feel
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: like I mother a lot of young people in my
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: life happily, Like I love it. I want to, you know,
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: like I want to be a big sister or however
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: these girls in my life see me, it's like I
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: want to be there and like fill in the gaps
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: because I know so many people who have parented me
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: that are not my parents, and my siblings very much
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: so parented me growing up. And it's like it can
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: come from anywhere, and it's very nice to be able
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: to because it's such a struggle to let go of
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: the expectation of your parents treating you the way that
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: you see other parents treat their children in happy homes.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: Speak that truth, Chelsea, It's very true.
• 25:30
  Speaker 5: I mean I think that I always describe it as
• 25:33
  Speaker 5: a void that I eventually had to make friends with, right,
• 25:35
  Speaker 5: Like I think for so long it was this void
• 25:37
  Speaker 5: that I was trying to fill, and I was just
• 25:39
  Speaker 5: trying to fill it and fill it and fill it,
• 25:40
  Speaker 5: but it was endless, you know, And eventually it was like, yes,
• 25:43
  Speaker 5: if right now I walked outside and I saw a
• 25:44
  Speaker 5: dad teaching his little girl on a bike, I'm going
• 25:47
  Speaker 5: to be like I was robbed of that.
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: I never got that.
• 25:50
  Speaker 5: There's still going to be moments where I'm aware of
• 25:53
  Speaker 5: that and the void. But I think that the peace
• 25:55
  Speaker 5: came from stopping trying to fill it, and you know,
• 25:57
  Speaker 5: being grateful for the things that I had in other
• 25:59
  Speaker 5: avae news and the people who did step in. Even
• 26:01
  Speaker 5: when you text me and you call me ooopsie or
• 26:03
  Speaker 5: you call me Poopsie, and I know what that means
• 26:07
  Speaker 5: to you. Like, I'm so grateful for all of the
• 26:10
  Speaker 5: people in my life who have stepped up and shown
• 26:12
  Speaker 5: me love and someone I can look up to, and
• 26:14
  Speaker 5: just family and just all the different things. You know,
• 26:17
  Speaker 5: I feel so blessed, and I always try to be
• 26:19
  Speaker 5: the poster child for that to like, you know, for
• 26:21
  Speaker 5: the girls out there who are like I'm going no contact.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: I'm like, you will find a new normal that fulfills you.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what is one of the things that you've learned
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: about yourself that you're really proud of through getting sober, Like,
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you're really proud of that, right, Yeah.
• 26:37
  Speaker 5: And for so long I think I couldn't even I
• 26:39
  Speaker 5: was so self deprecating, and I think that a lot
• 26:42
  Speaker 5: of times to the world wanted to be deprecating me.
• 26:45
  Speaker 5: The world wanted to be kind of saying these awful
• 26:47
  Speaker 5: things about me. So I almost was living in this
• 26:49
  Speaker 5: mindset where it's like, I'm going to get to it
• 26:51
  Speaker 5: before them, you know what I mean, I'm going to
• 26:52
  Speaker 5: get to the self deprecating punchline before them. And it
• 26:55
  Speaker 5: was it ended up obviously, and then with the drugs
• 26:58
  Speaker 5: and alcohol, all that's spiraling into a lot of self hatred.
• 27:00
  Speaker 5: And this is kind of the first time in my
• 27:02
  Speaker 5: life where I'm like, I might still be a little messy,
• 27:04
  Speaker 5: but I can be a role model and I am
• 27:06
  Speaker 5: proud of myself and I am resilient as fuck. And
• 27:09
  Speaker 5: I did like build all of this for myself with
• 27:13
  Speaker 5: no fucking help. I made it out of Yeah, I
• 27:16
  Speaker 5: was dealt the shittiest fucking hand ever.
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: And you lived in Vegas growing up.
• 27:20
  Speaker 5: I knew the Texas old de Mans before I knew
• 27:22
  Speaker 5: the ABC's Like, come on, growing.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: Up in Vegas is something that I find unfathomable. I
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: read Andre Agassi's book. I don't know, have you read
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: ever read that book? No, but I will now he
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: grew up in Vegas, and I just I found that
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: book to be so depressing, well on so many levels,
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: because his father forced him to be a tennis player
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: when he didn't want to, and like bought a house
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: and build a tennis court in the back. But Vegas
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: just is like to me. And I guess, you know,
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: I don't live there, so I don't know, and I
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: can't speak from experience, but it just seems dire.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: No, you hit the nail on the head, Chelsea.
• 27:57
  Speaker 5: I think by six years old, I was like, why
• 28:00
  Speaker 5: the fuck are we raising kids here?
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
• 28:02
  Speaker 5: As a child, I was well aware because obviously there
• 28:06
  Speaker 5: are nice enclaves, right. There are the children who were
• 28:10
  Speaker 5: born in Summerland and they played tennis their whole life,
• 28:14
  Speaker 5: and they'd go out to the desert and they went
• 28:15
  Speaker 5: on family trips to California.
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: I'm sure they had a great fucking life.
• 28:18
  Speaker 5: Okay, But the rest of us who were living in
• 28:21
  Speaker 5: poverty in Las Vegas.
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: It is dark. I think it's a city that.
• 28:25
  Speaker 5: Runs on like sex and money and alcohol and all
• 28:28
  Speaker 5: of the dark things in the world. I think I
• 28:30
  Speaker 5: really a lot of Even in writing my book right now,
• 28:32
  Speaker 5: I'm almost writing about how my morals were this reverse thing,
• 28:36
  Speaker 5: like I was taught horrible morals and I was taught
• 28:40
  Speaker 5: that like you get what you want by lying and
• 28:41
  Speaker 5: manipulating and scamming and like just all of these things,
• 28:45
  Speaker 5: you know what I mean, and that addiction and substances
• 28:48
  Speaker 5: and that was all normal to cope and it was
• 28:50
  Speaker 5: almost My life has been this big thing of unlearning
• 28:53
  Speaker 5: what being brought up in that environment taught me.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: I guess, did you have siblings?
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: No? No, only child? More depressing, so depressing.
• 29:02
  Speaker 5: And that was That's why I'm so grateful for I'm Aarry,
• 29:04
  Speaker 5: my best friend, because you know, they he taught me
• 29:06
  Speaker 5: what a sibling is, and they taught me what sibling
• 29:08
  Speaker 5: love is. And yeah, I imagine that my life would
• 29:11
  Speaker 5: be entirely different if I had a sibling, you know,
• 29:13
  Speaker 5: if I had someone to be like, are you fucking
• 29:14
  Speaker 5: seeing the shit?
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what the thing is about siblings.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: I think and I still heard Gabor Matte or he's
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: this Canadian psychologist and he talks about like no two
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: siblings have the same experience, and I would argue against that,
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: like my brothers and sisters commiserate all the time about
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: what it was like. They're they're the only other people
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: that know exactly what it was like growing up in
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: my household, which was like we we all had a
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: different set of parents because we were different ages, but
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: we all had the same set of circumstances. Yes, and
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: it was ridiculous, like you know, they didn't pick us
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: up they like they you know, there was never going
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: to be like breakfast on the table, yes, like you know,
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: there was just like everyone fend for yourself. And it's
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: a nice like it's a nice bond to know, you know,
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: because and also as we age, you kind of become
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: the opposite or the same of what you grew up with.
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: Mine was immediately like I am, first of all, I
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: need a housekeeper, like you guys are we need a
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: cleaning lady. We need a housekeeper, and I need her
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: to live with me, and you know what I mean,
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: Like that was the first thing that I needed. I
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: needed a brand new car because my dad was a
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: used car dealer. I'm like, I'll never driving a used
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: car once I have enough money. And it was just
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: all the things that I found to be an ick
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: were it.
• 30:24
  Speaker 5: Do you feel like some of your siblings ended up
• 30:26
  Speaker 5: being more similar my.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: Sisters a little bit. Yeah.
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: I have two.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: I have a brother and a sister who are a
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: little bit more like scrappy. You know, they're just kind
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: of like hustlers. I mean, we're all hustlers. I'm a
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: hustler for sure, but they hustle in a way that
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: is just kind of like smacking things together and like
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: you know, on the move, kind of fast and loose.
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: And I'm just like, I have that too, but I
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: it's mine is a little bit more like I have
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: standards of operation, and they're up here, you know what
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: I mean. There's got to be a level of standard
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: of operation for me. Like I don't like anything below
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: that standard. But I love that, especially as I get older.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't have time for that, you know
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: what I mean. I'm too fucking busy.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: I don't have time for it.
• 31:07
  Speaker 5: And I have no problem saying I have no time
• 31:09
  Speaker 5: for it, but I think that if a man did it,
• 31:11
  Speaker 5: no one would blink. And you have been the person
• 31:13
  Speaker 5: that has spearheaded that. You've always been that way, you
• 31:16
  Speaker 5: know what I mean? You know what you want and
• 31:18
  Speaker 5: you're going to go get it and you're not going
• 31:19
  Speaker 5: to fucking apologize for it, which.
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: Right is so inspiring. It really is.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: So what do you like when you think about this
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: new podcast and like, you know, like what what do
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: you have in mind?
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: Like what do you want to do? What do you
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: want to accomplish?
• 31:32
  Speaker 5: I think that calling it brand safe obviously there's some
• 31:35
  Speaker 5: irony there, like you're not safe, Yes, at all, no
• 31:39
  Speaker 5: one's safe. But at the same time, I am in
• 31:41
  Speaker 5: this new era where I care and sometimes I understand
• 31:44
  Speaker 5: that maybe I don't need to say the crazy thing
• 31:46
  Speaker 5: that's going to get me in a bunch of trouble.
• 31:48
  Speaker 5: And I'm you know what I mean, I'm working with
• 31:50
  Speaker 5: companies because they're less disgusted with associating with me, and
• 31:56
  Speaker 5: I think that what I want to do with brand Safe,
• 32:00
  Speaker 5: it really is I want to have a lot of
• 32:01
  Speaker 5: conversations that I've never gotten to have online. I want
• 32:03
  Speaker 5: people to almost feel like they're in my phone and
• 32:05
  Speaker 5: they're in my group chat. And while you are a
• 32:08
  Speaker 5: powerhouse and a celebrity and amazing and you are coming
• 32:10
  Speaker 5: on today as my first guest, I'm not just trying
• 32:13
  Speaker 5: to have a bunch of back to back big names
• 32:16
  Speaker 5: and stuff I think I want to talk to almost
• 32:18
  Speaker 5: similar to life will be the Death of Me, the
• 32:20
  Speaker 5: way that you really dove into talking to like psychologists
• 32:23
  Speaker 5: and therapists and all those things.
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: I want to do that.
• 32:25
  Speaker 5: I want of my best friends on and I want
• 32:27
  Speaker 5: to just have the conversations that we have in bed
• 32:29
  Speaker 5: and just like bring people almost even closer into my life.
• 32:32
  Speaker 5: I've been filming a lot of them in Hawaii where
• 32:34
  Speaker 5: I'm just talking about childhood, talking about dating. It's almost
• 32:38
  Speaker 5: like I spent so much time gathering this lore and
• 32:40
  Speaker 5: falling down and now I finally have stood up, and
• 32:43
  Speaker 5: I want to use what I've learned to help the
• 32:46
  Speaker 5: girlies know that they two can wake up one day
• 32:49
  Speaker 5: and say I'm brand safe now, and they can wake
• 32:51
  Speaker 5: up one day and reinvent in any way they want,
• 32:54
  Speaker 5: even if people perceive them differently, like that, you can
• 32:58
  Speaker 5: carve out your own path and I'm so brand safe now.
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, that's so true. We have so many similarities
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: in our like, you know, direction trajectory, that's the word.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: That's the word that could replace journey. Trajectory is yeah,
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: that's better. That's better because we are we have like
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: it's very analogous, like the partying da da DA, realizing
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: how you're coming across, feeling a little bit harsh about
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: how you come across, feeling a little bit like, Okay,
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: maybe I need to like pump the brakes on this.
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: Like I totally relate to all of that, and I
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: think that's a very natural thing for anybody in their
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: twenties and thirties to be thinking about, you know, and
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: to see people on the other side of it, and
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: to see people like going through the pain of it's
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: not a breakup with yourself, because it's a different version
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: of yourself, but in a sense, you are kind of
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: breaking with your past. And some people will get uncomfortable
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: with that, you know, some fans get uncomfortable with that.
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: I was just at this dinner the other night and
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: as this woman who's pretty famous producer, she came up
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: to me at this dinner and I've known her over
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: the years. We've always been cordial and whatever. But I
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: don't know her well, and she came up to me
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: and she sat down next to me, and she's like,
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: I just want to let you know that, like I
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: have seen so many changes in you over the course
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: of like the last five ten years.
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: She goes, it's really beautiful, Like.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: You've really come into your own and you're just like
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: a total solid, like sister woman. I know we have
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: a ton of mutual friends, and I just know, like
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: I used to be scared of you. This is a
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: woman who like runs Hollywood, by the way. So the
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: fact that she's telling me she used to be scared
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: of me, I'm like, what are you fucking talking about it?
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: How She's like, she's like, but I used to be
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: just you were just not you know, like not not
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: easy to be around. Or it's like I was scared
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: to be around you. Not scared of you, but like
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: scared to be around you.
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: Unsafe.
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: Maybe I have heard that before. People are like I
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: feel unsafe around Chelsey. Yes, I'm like, what do you
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: think I'm gonna do? And they're like, we don't know
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: why you're gonna do that's what that's what's so scary.
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: I couldn't relate more. And it is Yeah, it's really nice.
• 34:52
  Speaker 5: I feel like I've been getting a lot of that
• 34:53
  Speaker 5: lately too, And you're right, it's not it's not a breakup,
• 34:56
  Speaker 5: but it is. It is a rebirth, and I was
• 34:58
  Speaker 5: I was equating it, this is so whole for me,
• 35:00
  Speaker 5: but like I felt like I was like a crab
• 35:02
  Speaker 5: who like lost this shell. It doesn't fit anymore, and
• 35:05
  Speaker 5: I'm like kind of looking for my new one that fits,
• 35:07
  Speaker 5: you know.
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: And then that transitional period in between those two it
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: can be really naked. Yeah, it's quite uncomfortable because you're
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: kind of trying on your different versions of yourself. As
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: I've said before that and you're like does anyone do
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: I like me?
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: And and then there's a period also of self consciousness
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: that I had never experienced before therapy. I became super
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: self conscious for about four three to four years, and
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: I didn't like that feeling at all relate and I
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: was like is this how I am now? And it's
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: it finally subsided, it went away. I am all longer
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: self conscious because I was like, shit, I don't like this.
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: And this is how most people, I think feel, you know,
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: when people always say like why are you so confident?
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know, I'm just this way. I
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: don't have like an elixir, but I mean I can
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: try and help you. But when I felt that way
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: for a few years, I was like, oh, this isn't
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: this is an uncomfortable feeling.
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what it was.
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: Second guessing your interactions and thinking overthinking about what you said, yes,
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: how you said it, Whereas before I would just say
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: something and fucking forget about it for two years and
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: then find out five years later I totally offended somebody.
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: Chelsey.
• 36:17
  Speaker 5: I literally I couldn't agree with something more because I
• 36:20
  Speaker 5: was like, I think I lived my life up until
• 36:22
  Speaker 5: the past three years not even knowing what the word
• 36:24
  Speaker 5: anxiety meant, and like sometimes I will look back and
• 36:27
  Speaker 5: almost romanticize that. You know, it's like it's awful and
• 36:30
  Speaker 5: you are making reparations forever and you're saying all the
• 36:33
  Speaker 5: crazy things and stuff. But anxiety and I had never met,
• 36:37
  Speaker 5: you know what I mean. I was just living no
• 36:39
  Speaker 5: holds barred, going one hundred miles per hour. It didn't
• 36:41
  Speaker 5: fucking matter who I pissed off. It didn't fucking matter
• 36:44
  Speaker 5: what I said, Like either I'd drink it away or
• 36:46
  Speaker 5: I would just keep doing it. It didn't matter. And then
• 36:48
  Speaker 5: it was like almost across this transitional phase, I did
• 36:52
  Speaker 5: start to be like, oh my god, I need to
• 36:54
  Speaker 5: think before I speak, and then almost overcorrecting. I think
• 36:56
  Speaker 5: there was a second where I swung the pendulum so
• 36:59
  Speaker 5: far and I'm like, Okay, I'm acting like fucking mother Mary,
• 37:02
  Speaker 5: Like I don't.
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: It doesn't need to be that, you know what I mean.
• 37:04
  Speaker 5: You you are opinionated and you are loud, and it's
• 37:07
  Speaker 5: like it's finding this this middle ground and there is
• 37:10
  Speaker 5: a lot of anxiety and perception and thinking about all
• 37:14
  Speaker 5: of your past selves and like I guess almost regret
• 37:16
  Speaker 5: as well, Like it's it's balancing all these things out,
• 37:19
  Speaker 5: you know, and it's it is an anxious period.
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, I love that. I love that.
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: Okay, we're gonna take a break and we'll be right back.
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: With Tana manjur.
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: And we're back, you guys, with Tana Manzo perfect.
• 37:38
  Speaker 5: It honestly makes me so uncomfortable, like because I'm so
• 37:41
  Speaker 5: even in Vegas.
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: You're like, Tana, get over here, and I just I
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: can't wait to unpack that trip on my pod.
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: That was when I met Cowboy, so That's what I
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: wanted to know, is if it was that trip or
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: the trip after. It was the trip you were you
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: because you we stayed the night after, remember Mike Karen,
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: my assistant, was with us, and that whole group of
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: girls and we went yeah, and then we went to Alana.
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: And then after Alanis, I went back to the casino
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: because all those girls had lost my money.
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: I lost like three.
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: Grand I lost your money. That's okay, but I that's
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: what it's for. And then I came back the next night.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: I was like, let me go win that money back.
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: I know I can win. And so I went back
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: with my friend Terrence from New York. And you met
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: Terrence too, right, Yeah?
• 38:23
  Speaker 5: And was Terrence the guy you were absolutely hazing. You
• 38:27
  Speaker 5: kept telling him to get up because he was bad luck.
• 38:29
  Speaker 5: Oh no, that was someone else, like this moor Man
• 38:34
  Speaker 5: just trying to gamble on.
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: Chelsea's like, get the fuck out of my face. Someone
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: else needed to be in your fucking seat.
• 38:39
  Speaker 5: But also you have this like cunty power where when
• 38:42
  Speaker 5: you're not the person being hazed by her, you're like, oh.
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: My god, you feel like her little teacup jama. You're like, yeah,
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: I get him.
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: He was throwing the table off. It wasn't Terrence. I
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: don't think it was some other guy, but I can't
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: remember who it was. But he was throwing the table
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: off because he didn't know how to gamble, and I
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: was like, just get out of here.
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: So funny.
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: But the next night when I did that was the
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: night I met cowboys. So you were there, So you
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: were there with me, so your energy helped me.
• 39:04
  Speaker 5: That made my cowboys so fucking happy. I want to
• 39:07
  Speaker 5: hear all about this. Do you guys are very cute,
• 39:09
  Speaker 5: by the way, Thank you. Like just such an attractive
• 39:11
  Speaker 5: couple together.
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: I should have seen us an issemble together everyone.
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: We would walk down the street and people would be.
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: Like, Hollywood, Hollywood. They don't they don't have that accent,
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: but they were screaming Hollywood, and I was like, god,
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: we really stand out like two sort of thumbs. And
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: it's like, well, because no one is blonde there, you
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: know what I mean?
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: Is here to stay?
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: No, I don't think anyone is here to stay.
• 39:31
  Speaker 5: But I assume that he is a man who kind
• 39:34
  Speaker 5: of owns that and like knows.
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: Knows how you operate, and is.
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he's definitely seeing how I operate, and he knows
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: it could be over in a second.
• 39:42
  Speaker 5: But I think I think that's hot too, when someone
• 39:44
  Speaker 5: can kind of be like I know that, but I'm
• 39:46
  Speaker 5: here for the ride exactly, and I'm down. And I mean,
• 39:50
  Speaker 5: I always ask you about this, like we know that
• 39:53
  Speaker 5: you I don't know. I don't want to say you
• 39:55
  Speaker 5: don't love not monogamy, but like you're not looking for
• 39:57
  Speaker 5: like long term, forever partner.
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm to post a monogamy, like if I'm
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: in a relationship, it's not like I'm having If I'm
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: in a relationship that's defined as a relationship, like we're
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: seeing each other. Yeah, it's not like I have to
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: go fuck a bunch of other guys. But if I'm
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: casually sauntering throughout the world and meeting people in different places,
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: those aren't relationships. Those are casual encounters. And where if
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: I see somebody a couple, cowboy, cowboy, I'm seeing cowboy
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: right now.
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: That's exclusive.
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: But but I mean that's about all I can really
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: fucking handle. And it's long distance, which is my favorite.
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: I like long distance. Yeah you need distance, Yeah I
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: need distance, and everyone needs distance from me as well.
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: When I'm working, and when I'm here in town, I don't.
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: I don't have time for any fucking distraction.
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like, I really don't.
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: I just want to hit the ground running, get all
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: my ship in a row so that I can go.
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: And relax where at some point he lives in Florida.
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: No shit, A big problem? And why have you gone
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: to Florida?
• 40:51
  Speaker 5: No do you think across the duration of this relationship
• 40:54
  Speaker 5: you will.
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: Even ever set foot in his parts? It's unlikely, but possible.
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: Is it like a Tampa like sad Sad? Or I
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: don't want to say.
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: I don't even want to say where it is.
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: I don't love Florida.
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: My feelings about Florida have nothing to do with Floridians.
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: They have to do with the politics of the state.
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: And for some reason, even though there are states that
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: are commensurate or worse than Florida, Florida sticks out to
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: be like a sore thumb or of just dysfunction. They're
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: burning books. I hate all that shit. I hate the politics.
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: I hate DeSantis, Texas. I feel like is a hopeful
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: place like Texas. I feel like we can flip at
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: some point, and that's why I still fuck with Texas.
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: Now Florida's staying the same.
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: Florida is just not open carry. I don't like that.
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: I don't like.
• 41:40
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I just even the Miami of it all, like
• 41:43
  Speaker 5: those people, those men especially like it is just it's
• 41:47
  Speaker 5: lawless in the worst way.
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: What about your guy?
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: Is he permanent?
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: Is it what permanent?
• 41:52
  Speaker 4: Like?
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: Aren't you engaged?
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: I'm not engaged.
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: Would you get engaged?
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: I would get engaged. He's pretty permanent to me, Yes,
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: he is.
• 41:59
  Speaker 5: Honestly, I think that I used to very much so
• 42:02
  Speaker 5: be a grass as always greener type of girl, one
• 42:05
  Speaker 5: foot in the door, one foot out the door with
• 42:06
  Speaker 5: a lot of people. And when I really look at him,
• 42:09
  Speaker 5: when I really put it all out on paper, and
• 42:11
  Speaker 5: lord knows, I have like I'm making a vent diagram.
• 42:13
  Speaker 5: I'm trying to convince myself and like whatever, when I
• 42:16
  Speaker 5: really put it all out there, I don't think I
• 42:18
  Speaker 5: would ever find anyone better. And I think that that's like,
• 42:21
  Speaker 5: that's what it is for me, you know what I mean.
• 42:23
  Speaker 5: I'm like, you're the best, and I fucking love you.
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: And so do you think you'll get married?
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: Honestly, yes, I think that it'll be Tanna style. It'll
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: be like a Vegas and I have to be the wedding.
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: I would be so excited.
• 42:35
  Speaker 5: I think I'll invite you to the Hawaii one because
• 42:37
  Speaker 5: I think the Vegas one would just gross you out. Yeah,
• 42:39
  Speaker 5: I think so, it would make you really sad.
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, my actions across all it's like, Okay, we just.
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: Got married, can we go gamble? Like that's going to
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: be my energy for that one.
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: Well, that's fine, I'm come for the gambling party. Yeah, okay,
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: Well that's really sweet.
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: I'm happy for you. I'm happy for you, and we'll
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: thank you.
• 42:54
  Speaker 5: And I feel like, even just see you've been sending
• 42:56
  Speaker 5: me so many cute photos of you guys and stuff,
• 42:58
  Speaker 5: you're very like proud of this relationship, which I love
• 43:00
  Speaker 5: to see.
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: Well, I like to be representative of what I like
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: to be honest about what's happening in my life. So like,
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: I didn't hard launch a relationship. I just was throwing
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: in pictures of him in my carousels because that's somebody
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: I was spending a lot of time with. So I
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: also find it weird when like you, you know, like
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: to go on a trip with somebody for two weeks
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: and then post twenty pictures of yourself alone without the
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: person as kind of a big fuck you. Yeah, you
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: know what I mean, And so like I don't. I'm
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: not trying to. Like people are like, we didn't you
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: learn your lesson with Joe Koit? No, I didn't learn
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: my lesson because I'm gonna be honest about my life.
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: I love that as well.
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: I think care if we break up, that's then we
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: break up.
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it doesn't matter about you know what I mean.
• 43:41
  Speaker 5: I really like that energy. I feel like I see
• 43:43
  Speaker 5: a lot in this space. People have one bad public
• 43:45
  Speaker 5: or not even bad just public breakup and they write
• 43:48
  Speaker 5: it all off forever, and it's like, I don't know,
• 43:49
  Speaker 5: I could never do that. So I guess I resonate
• 43:51
  Speaker 5: more with your side, Like I'm I suck at keeping
• 43:54
  Speaker 5: things to myself.
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm not.
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: I don't take things so seriously that I can't share them. Yeah,
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: it's a relationship. It's like it may last, it may not,
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: who knows, we'll find out.
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: What do you like the most about him? It's like,
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: what is He has a great voice and I love that.
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: I like a real strong haven't you met him?
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: No? No, not yet?
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: Okay to know each other too off the internet Chocolate
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: Singles dot Com.
• 44:20
  Speaker 2: I love that. Yeah, we were both looking for a
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: black man. I'm going to tell people that's where we met. Honestly. Yeah,
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: they probably believe you.
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah what we're saying. Oh what I like about it?
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: I mean, you know, I don't know. There's a lot
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: of alike about him. He's very gentle, He's a gentleman,
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: and I was like, I was pretty grossed out by men.
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: I have to say straight men general have been pretty
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: disappointing of late, and this whole political backdrop is just
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: representative of where men have fallen short by not protecting
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: our rights, not protecting the people's like, you know, rights
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: that don't impact them directly, LGBTQ, trans, black, you know,
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: people of color, like white guys just seem to not
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: know how to like organize on behalf of other people. Yes,
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: because their rights are never really infringed to and you're
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: like hello. So it was very refreshing for me to
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: meet a man that saw me and I was a
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: hot mess the night he saw me too. I was
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: stoned and drunk and gambling and running that table like there.
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: When we left there, there was a line waiting at
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: that blackjack table because we had turned it into a
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: fucking gold mine and I was betting. I was splitting
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: twos against the king and winning.
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: I was like, watch this.
• 45:29
  Speaker 5: And the attitude you get, it's a birthday attitude Kimmel.
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: And he was saying I was telling him the story
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: because he didn't know I, you know, I was seeing someone.
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: And then it came up about the trouples. He's like,
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: could you go away with And I told him the
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: story about how I met him, and he was, you
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: honestly sound like James Bond. He's like, you sound like
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: a female James Bond. And I was like, that's you
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: are fucking funny. But yeah, I like that. He can
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: take it because it's a lot.
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: I'm a lot.
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm like, you like, good good luck. If
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: I agree with that, good fucking luck.
• 46:00
  Speaker 5: And I think I don't know if you ever, I
• 46:02
  Speaker 5: don't know if you relate to this one. Like a
• 46:03
  Speaker 5: lot of times in relationships, I was trying to be
• 46:05
  Speaker 5: a little bit different or just like maybe dial it
• 46:08
  Speaker 5: back a little bit. And then it was like, this
• 46:10
  Speaker 5: person is not falling in love with me. And then
• 46:12
  Speaker 5: it's like I'm presenting them for that, But I caused.
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: That, And I hate being fraudulent, like I when I'm
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: not real, I'm like, you're gross. Like I hate the
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: fake voice, I hate fake enthusiasm. I hate I just
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: want to be real and like, so it's nice to
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: be with someone and be real, Like, yeah, I'm a
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: bitch too.
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: Yes, Also I know that they they're in it for
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: all of that, you know, Moody.
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it's gonna be good and sometimes it's gonna not
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: be great. So that's important to cow boy. Yeah, kidding up,
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: all right, So let's get to the advice.
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: Yes, I'm dope.
• 46:47
  Speaker 3: Our first question comes from Naomi, and she says, Zomy Campbell,
• 46:52
  Speaker 3: it is in fact asking for advice.
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: She always needs some help.
• 46:56
  Speaker 3: So she is thirty two and says, dear Chelsea. Late
• 46:58
  Speaker 3: last year, I underwent full nasal reconstruction to correct poor
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: technique from my previous nose job. Leading up to the surgery,
• 47:06
  Speaker 3: I was very sexually active, driven by a place of
• 47:08
  Speaker 3: scarcity and a fear of being alone. As a trans woman,
• 47:11
  Speaker 3: I've grown accustomed to the mindset that I'm only valued
• 47:14
  Speaker 3: for sex and that love is scarce due to the
• 47:16
  Speaker 3: discrimination women like myself often experience.
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: I can't recall the last time.
• 47:20
  Speaker 3: I chose a period of abstinence to focus on myself,
• 47:23
  Speaker 3: but I feel that this healing period is the right time.
• 47:26
  Speaker 3: I found myself falling into promiscuity as part of my
• 47:29
  Speaker 3: identity due to a deep need for intimacy in the past.
• 47:32
  Speaker 3: This has also led me to endure toxic men, yet
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: I continued.
• 47:35
  Speaker 2: To pursue them. My question for you is this, how.
• 47:38
  Speaker 3: Do you cope with loneliness when you choose abstinence to
• 47:40
  Speaker 3: focus on self healing? What benefits can come from taking
• 47:43
  Speaker 3: a break from men to heal one's broken parts. It
• 47:46
  Speaker 3: feels like it will take forever to heal, and I
• 47:48
  Speaker 3: don't want to be alone. Please feel free to be
• 47:50
  Speaker 3: direct and honest. Your insights mean a lot to me.
• 47:52
  Speaker 3: With lots of love and a bandaged nose. Naomi, Hi, Naomi, Hi,
• 47:56
  Speaker 3: how are you guys?
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: We're great.
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: This is Tantamajo.
• 48:00
  Speaker 4: She's our special guest, Hianna.
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: First of all, I just want to say that you're fine.
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: Normally I'm barking, so I'm coughing. That was also just
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: so profound, so well written.
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: It was. I mean, first of all, I love that
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: you're thinking about all of these things because you have
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: such a huge opportunity right now by taking a break
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: and being abstinate and actually like looking into yourself for
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: self love, Like that is exactly what every woman should
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: be doing at a certain point in her life. And
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: this is your point. This is a huge growth opportunity.
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: You're gonna have like a really good time by yourself.
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: Being alone doesn't mean that you're lonely. You can start
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: all these new like habits and patterns that are going
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: to set you up for success for the rest of
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: your life. You know, you can wake up every day
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: and first of all, you should be writing down what
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: you're experiencing through this and writing down your commitment to yourself,
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: reminding yourself each day, I am committed to being alone
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: and providing myself with the love I need to be
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: a loving individual in a relationship in the future. That's
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: what you're doing. You're investing in yourself during this period
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: of time, and that's it is a completely winning situation
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: for you. Nobody's going to come in and fuck your
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: shit up. You're there to like restore and like sanctify
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: the person that you are so that you become a
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: tree that no one is able to push around or
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: push over.
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: That's the goal.
• 49:25
  Speaker 5: You're also going to enter whatever does eventually happen next,
• 49:29
  Speaker 5: you're going to say, as rising no, I'm not to enter.
• 49:32
  Speaker 5: This is a psychic grading.
• 49:33
  Speaker 2: I'm not to enter, never will I ever.
• 49:38
  Speaker 5: But you know, whatever you do eventually enter, you'll enter
• 49:41
  Speaker 5: as a completely different person, therefore attracting completely different people,
• 49:45
  Speaker 5: therefore garnering new experiences, hopefully more positive ones because of
• 49:49
  Speaker 5: all of the self work and the level of toleration
• 49:52
  Speaker 5: that you will now have. You know, you're not going
• 49:53
  Speaker 5: to be so tolerant of people's bullshit or just wanting
• 49:57
  Speaker 5: a sexual identity from you and stuff. I think that
• 50:00
  Speaker 5: the tree analogy is Chelsea really hit the nail on
• 50:03
  Speaker 5: the head there. You know you're going to be someone
• 50:05
  Speaker 5: that no one can fuck with because of this period
• 50:07
  Speaker 5: of time.
• 50:08
  Speaker 4: Thank you. I really appreciate that. It's really hard to
• 50:11
  Speaker 4: cope with being lonely when you're like I said, when
• 50:14
  Speaker 4: you're trans and you want affection and love and then
• 50:18
  Speaker 4: I don't know's it's difficult, you know what I mean?
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: I don't know what you mean because I'm not trans,
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: but I understand the concept of loneliness. And I don't
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: want to pretend that I can experience what you've experienced,
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: but I will say to you, like, you're not the
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: only person that feels lonely.
• 50:35
  Speaker 2: You're not alone, and I think that.
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: You should a like what practices do you have set
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: in place today? Like what do you journal? Do you
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: have a gratitude journal? Like do you meditate?
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: What do you do?
• 50:46
  Speaker 4: I actually do stand up comedy to help I laugh
• 50:49
  Speaker 4: at myself all the time. I say, having a noose
• 50:52
  Speaker 4: job is a Jewish rite of passage. And you know,
• 50:55
  Speaker 4: I'm able to find Catharsis in that. That's great whenever
• 50:58
  Speaker 4: I'm joking about like you know what I mean?
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think you can add some things that's awesome.
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: First of all, that's fucking hard to do stand up.
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: It takes a lot of balls, I know. And Tanna,
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: don't you do stand up too?
• 51:10
  Speaker 2: I'm trying. I'm trying.
• 51:11
  Speaker 5: And even that's She's right, Like, you are doing something
• 51:15
  Speaker 5: that is so hard to do that so many people
• 51:18
  Speaker 5: can't do. And I hope that you start to find
• 51:20
  Speaker 5: community in that as well. And the amount of people
• 51:22
  Speaker 5: in the audience and stuff that just make you feel
• 51:25
  Speaker 5: seen and are grateful that you're there because hearing you
• 51:27
  Speaker 5: say I'm lonely, I also just want.
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: To be like we are our words right.
• 51:32
  Speaker 5: And the more that you are driving home I'm lonely,
• 51:36
  Speaker 5: I'm lonely, I'm lonely, of course you are believing that
• 51:39
  Speaker 5: you know what I mean, Whereas Chelsea has such a
• 51:42
  Speaker 5: good point where it's like, this might be a period
• 51:44
  Speaker 5: of your life that you are navigating more alone than
• 51:46
  Speaker 5: you've ever navigated any other period of your life, but
• 51:49
  Speaker 5: you're also filling your time in such a good way.
• 51:52
  Speaker 5: You're also filling your time with the passion that you have,
• 51:54
  Speaker 5: and you're also like maybe trying to make friends in
• 51:57
  Speaker 5: that community, and you know, putting forth actions to build
• 52:01
  Speaker 5: a future for yourself where you feel less alone.
• 52:03
  Speaker 2: And I think the second you stop saying I'm.
• 52:05
  Speaker 5: Lonely, I'm lonely, I'm lonely, and you start saying like,
• 52:07
  Speaker 5: I'm a fucking powerhouse. I don't need anybody, but I'm
• 52:09
  Speaker 5: going out to do my own thing and I'm building
• 52:12
  Speaker 5: a less lonely life for myself, You'll start to believe
• 52:15
  Speaker 5: that more and more, Like unfortunately, some periods of our
• 52:17
  Speaker 5: life are kind of lying to ourselves.
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: I think that's it.
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: I think that's great.
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: What she just said is so beautiful. You are building
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: a reservoir. Do you know the analogy that Brene Brown
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: talks about with the marble jar. She talks about friendships
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: and like when you have a relationship with someone, like say,
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: you know, me and my sister, we have so many
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: marbles in the marble jar that it would take something
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: really crazy to take any marbles out. There's so many
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: there that even if something terrible happened, only a couple
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: marbles would be taken out, and I would it would
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: still be forgivable, you know what I mean, Like we
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: would still be together because we've we've invested so much
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: into each other. There's been so many exchange of marbles.
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: I want you to like think of that about yourself,
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: Like every day that you spend alone, first of all,
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: you should wake up and write down, I love myself.
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: I am incredible, I am capable, I am building a
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: better life for myself. I am going to be grateful
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: for this time that I have alone, or I am grateful.
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: Just start saying it, like in the present, everything that
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: you're grateful for. And I have a gratitude journal in
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: my phone that pops up every morning and night. And
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: sometimes I don't do it, but I usually do and
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: it is a nice reset. It takes five minutes, but
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: it's a nice thing to write down three or four
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: things that you're grateful for each day. To look outside
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: and be like, I'm grateful for the weather. I'm grateful
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: for that tree that I get to look out out.
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: You know that's behind you. I don't know if that
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: is a tree or maybe that's your hair. I can't tell,
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: but it's my hair. Oh, be grateful for your hair,
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: you know. Be grateful for all of the little things
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: that we don't kind of take into account. This is
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: the part of like a human experience, is to really
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: really focus on the stuff that you have the time
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: to focus on the stuff that we don't pay attention
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: to every day. So huge opportunity for you, Like this
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: is beautiful and this can be transcendent for you. So
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: I do want you to develop and like get into
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: patterns that you aren't in yet. You know, I think
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: you should try to meditate. I think you should download
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: the comapp and just do five to ten minutes a morning.
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: Whether you like it or not just commit to it
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: and do that for like at least thirty days and
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: just see how you feel. Journal about it after. You
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: don't have to sit there journaling for two hours every day,
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: but just say, Okay, I just meditated, I didn't feel anything.
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: I'm going to try again tomorrow. I just meditated. I
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: still don't feel anything. I'm gonna try again whatever it is.
• 54:37
  Speaker 1: Or I just meditated, I felt something. I'm not sure
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: what I felt, but I'm gonna try again tomorrow. Start
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: to set patterns up for yourself. They may seem stupid
• 54:46
  Speaker 1: or trivial or like it's not gonna have an impact,
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: or if you try it a couple times and you
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: don't feel something significant, you're gonna get like, oh no,
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: you need to commit to yourself right now, you know,
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: Like I want you to do all of these new hows, rabbits,
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: whatever three you choose, whether it's journaling, like do a
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: gratitude thing in the morning, a meditation, and something at
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: night where you're like, thank you so much for this day,
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: this is what I learned, this is something I want
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: to remember about today. That's one of the prompts in
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: my gratitude journal says what is something you want to
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: remember for today. And I always make think, oh, yeah,
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: show up you know whatever it is, like, yeah, I
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: showed up for this when I wasn't in the mood,
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: or I removed myself from the situation when I wasn't
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: in the move, like something I learned that helped me today.
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: Reading for me is always a good resetter. If I
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: could sit down and read for an hour, you know,
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: get some books and fucking read some books to get
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: yourself out of your own head and into someone else's story.
• 55:42
  Speaker 5: Also, I will just say, looking at you, you are
• 55:44
  Speaker 5: absolutely beautiful. Okay, you're already a new bitch with the
• 55:46
  Speaker 5: new nose, okay, but you are You are genuinely about
• 55:49
  Speaker 5: to be in so many ways. And like Chelsea said,
• 55:52
  Speaker 5: I can't relate to your scenario specifically, but what I
• 55:56
  Speaker 5: will say is my best friend in the world, she's
• 55:58
  Speaker 5: trans and I watched her go through something really really
• 56:00
  Speaker 5: similar to you, where she was kind of leaning into
• 56:03
  Speaker 5: the promiscuous nature and then therefore she was attracting people
• 56:06
  Speaker 5: who were only attracted to that, and she it felt
• 56:09
  Speaker 5: very transactional, and she was leaving these situations feeling either
• 56:12
  Speaker 5: unsafe or.
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: Just lower about herself, et cetera.
• 56:15
  Speaker 5: And then I watched her do the same thing where
• 56:17
  Speaker 5: she was like, I'm cutting off anyone on this low
• 56:19
  Speaker 5: vibration who just wants me for this. I'm going to
• 56:21
  Speaker 5: be lonely until I have to be lonely. She worked
• 56:23
  Speaker 5: on her business. That's where the stand up comes in.
• 56:26
  Speaker 5: She worked on thinks she was passionate about, and she
• 56:29
  Speaker 5: met this man that I would die for. He is
• 56:32
  Speaker 5: so incredibly just kind, accepting, funny, smart, He's proud of
• 56:36
  Speaker 5: her in every room.
• 56:37
  Speaker 2: And she never thought she would, you know.
• 56:38
  Speaker 5: And it was the second she became this person where
• 56:41
  Speaker 5: she believed she deserved that, and she set these boundaries
• 56:45
  Speaker 5: in these standards there. It was all along, but she
• 56:47
  Speaker 5: was never going to attract that person on that low vibration,
• 56:50
  Speaker 5: you know. So I just want to say I've seen
• 56:51
  Speaker 5: it personally and I believe in you to do it.
• 56:54
  Speaker 2: I really do.
• 56:55
  Speaker 4: Thank you.
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, Okay, Naomi.
• 56:58
  Speaker 4: So that doesn't mean I'm not going to have anything
• 57:02
  Speaker 4: like in the future, right, What do you mean.
• 57:04
  Speaker 3: Like like hookups and getting together with guys and girl,
• 57:08
  Speaker 3: you're about you're about.
• 57:09
  Speaker 2: To levitate in ways you never know? Are you kidding me? That,
• 57:12
  Speaker 2: I think, and you'll see how much more fulfilling it is.
• 57:15
  Speaker 5: I think I had a lot of transactional sex in
• 57:17
  Speaker 5: my life as well. When I was finally like making
• 57:19
  Speaker 5: love to someone and like knew that they cared about
• 57:22
  Speaker 5: me more as more than just a set of holes,
• 57:25
  Speaker 5: I was like, Wow, this is this is amazing.
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: I think that is the difference you go from fucking
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: to making love, which is a kind of corny thing
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: to say, but it's true.
• 57:33
  Speaker 5: It's the worst thing ever to say. But also like
• 57:35
  Speaker 5: you're levitating, like I promise.
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you are, Like you are investing in this
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: time that you're spending right now, You are investing in
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: your future self.
• 57:43
  Speaker 5: And you start to look back at all the times
• 57:45
  Speaker 5: where you were just giving your energy away to these lizards,
• 57:48
  Speaker 5: and you're like, oh my god, I'm so happy that
• 57:51
  Speaker 5: I'm this energy exchange now is mutual and valid and
• 57:55
  Speaker 5: I'm not going to look back one day with like
• 57:56
  Speaker 5: disdain and disgust at it, you know.
• 57:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Naomi.
• 58:00
  Speaker 3: I also want to say you have value for who
• 58:03
  Speaker 3: you are, regardless of them placing value on you. You have
• 58:07
  Speaker 3: value because of who you are. So I want you
• 58:09
  Speaker 3: to be telling yourself that as well.
• 58:11
  Speaker 4: Thank you guys so much. And Chelsea, I'll see you
• 58:13
  Speaker 4: in Chicago and April. I'm so excited.
• 58:16
  Speaker 1: Oh awesome, I love that.
• 58:18
  Speaker 2: Okay, great, I'll see you then You're gonna die. She's
• 58:21
  Speaker 2: the best. Keep us posting. Okay, Naomi, thank you.
• 58:24
  Speaker 4: I will thank you guys so much again.
• 58:26
  Speaker 1: Okay, love you, Naomi, Bye, gorgeous, Love you too, Tana,
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: bye you. Okay, we're going to take a break and
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: we'll be right back. Okay, and we're back with Dana.
• 58:41
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 58:42
  Speaker 3: We have a question about putting your job to become
• 58:46
  Speaker 3: an astrologer or threesomes.
• 58:50
  Speaker 2: I also pick all right this one.
• 58:53
  Speaker 3: This one's just an email, But Natasha says, Dear Chelsea,
• 58:57
  Speaker 3: I'm struggling a little with my desire for sex. My
• 59:00
  Speaker 3: boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years,
• 59:02
  Speaker 3: and while our relationship is amazing and that sex is great,
• 59:05
  Speaker 3: I find myself wanting it more often than he does. Recently,
• 59:08
  Speaker 3: after kissing a few girls, I've been in the mood
• 59:10
  Speaker 3: for a threesome. I know my boyfriend is open to
• 59:12
  Speaker 3: the idea, but I'm unsure the best approach regarding the
• 59:15
  Speaker 3: person and setting. Should we consider someone unknown, like meeting
• 59:18
  Speaker 3: someone on vacation, or is it better to choose someone
• 59:21
  Speaker 3: we know, perhaps a neighbor or someone we meet at
• 59:23
  Speaker 3: a bar in the city. I'm particularly concerned about finding
• 59:26
  Speaker 3: a situation that won't jeopardize our relationship.
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: Not a neighbor.
• 59:30
  Speaker 2: I literally, you're gonna hate getting the mail. Any advice
• 59:36
  Speaker 2: you could offer would be great, Natasha.
• 59:37
  Speaker 1: I like threesomes too, and I think you should go
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: and find someone at a bar and have it be
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: like an anonymous person and just see if you're up
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: for that, or like if they're up for that, you know,
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: and you guys have to like do that together so
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: that there's trust and like understand what the situation is
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: before you go into it. Make sure that you guys
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: are like spelling out the boundaries for each other.
• 59:58
  Speaker 5: I also think the anonymity of the person kind of
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 5: does create a more secure foundation. You always hear the
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 5: stories of it being the neighbor and the coworker, and
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 5: then there's problems and I'm not sitting here, I.
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 2: Don't know your man. He might be amazing, you know
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 2: what I.
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 5: Mean, But just still, I think that the safest route
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 5: is the anonymity, right YEA yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 2: Someone you never have to see again if you don't
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 2: want to, Yes, exactly.
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 1: And then you says, decide how you like that experience
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: and what you learned from it together and if it
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: was fulfilling or if it was just like a fantasy.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 1: But like, there's nothing wrong with the threesome, Like I
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: don't have any judgment towards.
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 2: That, Like I get it, all right, go for it, Natasha.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 2: And it's also sexy, you know, it's kind of sexy. Yeah,
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 2: and like that kind of it.
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 5: There's no harm in trying something and then deciding that
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 5: you don't like it. But the spelling out of the
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 5: boundaries is also so important, you know.
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: All right, Tana, I love you. Her new solo podcast
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: is called Brand Safe. It'll be out when this is on.
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: Please go listen to it. Where do people listen to it?
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 5: YouTube, Spotify, Apple Music. It's going to be everywhere. And
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 5: I'm so excited to have you on today. You were
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 5: my first guests.
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so here and we're going where are we going?
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 2: I don't fucking know her?
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe to be honest with you, Okay, look great.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: I love you and I'm so happy you're here and
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: you were happy I met you in Burbanks even though
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: I didn't meet Oh the best part about this story
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 1: is I so we didn't even meet them, Yes, because
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: we didn't even meet then because I got home. I
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: have a publicity team, a PR team, my favorite people
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: in the fucking world. And Paul and Alec are two
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 1: gay guys who work on my PR team. Gay is
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: on a PR team, of course, and they're young, so
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: they are always with it. They understand what's going on.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: And they were like, oh my god, this woman. You
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: were posting stories about seeing me at the airport, and
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: they're like, this girl Tanna, she's like a huge influencer, Chelsea.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 1: You would love her. She like loves you, and she's
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: posting about you. She's crying, she's got hysterical. Because I made.
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 2: The biggest missa.
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 5: I ultimately decided because also I felt like it was
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 5: so interesting just karmically universally. Our seats weren't like next
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 5: to each other, like just we both booked them. And
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 5: then like Chelsea's in the seat, I'm in the seat.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 5: It's a jet, sweet plane. We are like this Starbucks
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 5: cup is what fits in between us, Like we are
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 5: so close in proximity, and then ultimately I decided I
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 5: feel like I parasocially know Chelsea Handler pretty well. I
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 5: know I don't think that she would live for this
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 5: that she was then she is like, yes, it's nighttime,
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 5: we're on this plane, like please bother me, Like I
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 5: know that, and I was like, if it's meant to be,
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 5: it will be. And then I went home and obviously
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 5: I can't shut my trap. So I made fifty tiktoks
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 5: about it because I thought that.
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 2: Would be the end of it.
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 5: My best friend even texted me on the way here
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 5: and he was just like, how cool is it that,
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 5: like go tell you on that plane that like you
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 5: would get to have a day like today. And I
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 5: appreciate you're a busy woman, You're a powerhouse. You don't
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 5: have to do the things you do. And I think
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 5: that's what makes it so special, is like knowing you
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 5: don't have to text me at three a I'm a
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 5: hilarious video.
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 2: About your day.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 5: You don't have to, you know what I mean, give
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 5: me all this advice walking through life. You don't have
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 5: to have a whole podcast day with me, but you
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 5: do it anyways, and that's who you are.
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: So thank thank you, baby, thank you. Okay, that's enough.
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 1: That's enough about me.
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 3: If you want advice from Chelsea, write into Dear Chelsea
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 3: podcast at gmail dot com.
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea is a production of iHeartMedia.
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 3: Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea Handler, and find
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 3: Katherine on TikTok at Flashcadabra. Dear Chelsea is edited and
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 3: engineered by Brandon Dickert executive producer Katherine Law. Find full
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 3: video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix, and get tickets
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 3: to see Chelsea live at Chelseahandler dot com