Latest / Amazing Life Breakthrough / Ep 42 | Rejected? Lead Anyway

Transcript

Ep 42 | Rejected? Lead Anyway · Amazing Life Breakthrough

• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever been rejected in a way that didn't even feel fair?
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Now the rejection I am talking about may not be the rejection you are thinking.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: Not a clean no.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Not a respectful conversation.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: More like the door just quietly closes and nobody explains why.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: You're left reading the room, feeling that awkward shift, and wondering what you did wrong.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're not careful, rejection like that can do something dangerous.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: It can shrink you.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: It can make you second guess yourself.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: It can tempt you to either get bitter or go silent.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Amazing Life Breakthrough.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Steve Klein, and today I want to talk about a different way to handle rejection because sometimes rejection isn't the end of your story.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's the beginning of your leadership.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: This goes back to a season in my life when my wife and I were deep into dance, country western, west coast swing, competitions, lessons, practice.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: We were all in.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: And in an effort to get better, I decided to start something simple.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: A Monday night practice at a local dance bar.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: I was DJing my own music, back then on cassette tapes, and I figured if I created a place where good music and serious practice could happen, it would attract good dancers.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: At first it was a hodgepodge of results.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: One week you'd have five men and two women, another week it would flip, some weeks it was barely a handful of people.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: But I kept showing up, and slowly it started to grow.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: By the second month, it wasn't a small thing anymore.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: We were getting close to 50 dancers showing up on a Monday night, when Mondays were normally slow, and a lot of the dancers who showed up were connected to a prestigious city dance team.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: The in crowd of that scene, skilled, respected.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: A big deal in that world.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: Naturally, I thought, hey, maybe I could do that.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I could join their team.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: After all, I admired what they had built.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: So I thought, why not ask?
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't get a clear answer.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: Now here's the strange part.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: No one ever spoke to me.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: The leaders of the team never came back and gave me a clear answer.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: There was no formal conversation, and there was no tryout, no respectful answer, like a simple yes or no.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: It was just avoidance.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: It seemed like they were shrugging it off.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: And it created awkwardness.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: Awkwardness for me and those on their team who, when I asked, kept saying, I don't know.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then I found out through the grapevine that the leaders had told their team behind closed doors, we don't want Steve on the team.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: No explanation, just exclusion.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I heard this information from someone who was actually on the team.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: Now, mind you, these were the same people on the team who were avoiding me and giving me that awkward feeling.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember how strange that felt because in my mind I wasn't a threat.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: I was just building something that worked, trying to improve, trying to belong.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: But rejection will do one of two things.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: It will either push you into bitterness or it will push you into building.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where the breakthrough happened for me.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: I decided I wasn't going to wait for permission to lead.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: My wife and I launched our own independent dance community.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: We rented a Grange Hall and started hosting monthly dances, family-friendly, smoke-free, alcohol-free, welcoming to everyone.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: We weren't trying to win against anyone.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: We were trying to create a culture that felt good, healthy, and open.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the funny part: when you build something real, momentum does its own convincing.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: Our classes filled up.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: The community grew.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: We brought in guest instructors.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: We used early technology.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: Flyers, I designed, a website, email outreach, long before most people were doing that kind of thing.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: And eventually, much to my surprise, some of the very same people who had excluded me showed up at our events.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: And they were happy.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: They showed up with smiles, their dance shoes, and even brought their friends, some from that same dance team, but they also brought their warmth of support.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: It came full circle.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: It came back to me through the waiting, the patience, the persistence and perseverance.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't through revenge, but rather it was through a whole different avenue.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: No dance team, just a different form of dance partnership with my wife.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: And it ultimately came through leadership, leading and hosting these monthly dances, which were family friendly, and created a great event for the local community.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to pause here because if you're listening and you've been rejected lately by a group, a job, a relationship, an opportunity, this is what I want you to hear.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Rejection is not always a verdict on your value.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's a spotlight on your potential.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's exposing insecurity in other people.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's protecting you from a culture that would have dimmed you.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it's a redirection towards something you were meant to build.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: So what do you do when you're rejected?
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: Here are three practical shifts, simple and real.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: First, don't beg for a seat at a table that doesn't want you.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: That sounds blunt, but it's freeing.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: If you have to shrink, perform, or compromise your integrity to belong.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's not belonging.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Second, extract the value underneath what you wanted.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Usually what you wanted wasn't the title, it was something deeper.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Connection, growth, recognition, purpose, a chance to contribute.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: So instead you could ask another question like, What was I really looking for?
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because once you name that, you can find it or build it somewhere healthier.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: Third, build the smallest version yourself.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need a massive platform.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: All you need is the next faithful step.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: For me, it started with a Monday night practice, then it became a Grange Hall dance, then it became a community.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Small beginnings, consistency, values.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's leadership.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: Now on Thursday, we're going to go deeper on this.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: We'll unpack what it looks like to lead without permission, how to build something when you feel blocked, how to handle the emotions of rejection without becoming hard, and how to create a values-first culture in whatever you're leading.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: But for today, here's your simple listener challenge.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: Think of one rejection you've experienced, recent or long ago, that still stings.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: Then write down one sentence.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: What is the good thing I wanted underneath that?
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then take one small step this week to move toward that good thing without waiting for someone to validate you first.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes the door that closes is simply making room for the one you are meant to open.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: If you found value in today's episode, would you help us get more Amazing Life Breakthroughs to more people?
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: You can do that by sharing this episode with someone who's felt overlooked or shut out lately.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: And if you haven't yet, please take a moment to subscribe or follow the podcast so you don't miss future episodes.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: And if you would like to support the mission financially, you can make a small donation at AmazingLife Breakthrough.com.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Every bit helps us keep this message going and helps someone else hear the breakthrough they needed right on time.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for spending this time with me on Amazing Life Breakthrough.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: And remember to live life to the fullest.