Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / #HURDLEMOMENT: An Expert On How to Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Humans have way more potential than we realize. So by
- 0:05Speaker 1: doing something hard when you think you really can't do it,
- 0:07Speaker 1: we learn a lot about ourselves. And there's some like
- 0:10Speaker 1: evolutionary machinery that really gets triggered. Our natural environment used
- 0:15Speaker 1: to show us these sorts of challenges all the time
- 0:18Speaker 1: because life was tough. We had to do things like
- 0:20Speaker 1: hunt and gather and move great distances. But nowadays we
- 0:24Speaker 1: don't really have that, So I think we do need
- 0:26Speaker 1: these sort of moments that push back at us and
- 0:28Speaker 1: teach us something about ourselves.
- 0:43Speaker 2: Hey everyone, Emily Abadi here, you are listening to another
- 0:46Speaker 2: installment of Hurdle Moment from Hurdle Today. I am talking
- 0:50Speaker 2: all about how to get better at getting comfortable with
- 0:54Speaker 2: the uncomfortable with Michael Easter.
- 0:56Speaker 3: He is the new author of The Comfort Crisis.
- 0:59Speaker 2: He's also so a contributing editor at Men's Help Magazine,
- 1:02Speaker 2: a calmnist for Outside Magazine, and a professor at the
- 1:06Speaker 2: University of Nevada, Las Vegas.
- 1:08Speaker 3: There are endless.
- 1:10Speaker 2: Takeaways in today's episode, but man, is it's so interesting
- 1:13Speaker 2: to talk to someone who has done extensive research on
- 1:17Speaker 2: a subject that literally impacts each and every one of us.
- 1:21Speaker 3: Every single day.
- 1:23Speaker 2: In our chat today, Michael talks a lot about his
- 1:25Speaker 2: research for the book and traveling all the way to
- 1:29Speaker 2: the Arctic, where he learned a whole lot about getting uncomfortable,
- 1:33Speaker 2: and how that experience really shaped the way that he
- 1:36Speaker 2: goes about his day to day these days.
- 1:39Speaker 3: Now.
- 1:39Speaker 2: Of course, not each and every one of us is
- 1:41Speaker 2: going to go up to the Arctic to learn all
- 1:43Speaker 2: these lessons, And luckily, because I have Michael on the show,
- 1:46Speaker 2: you don't have to. But I think a lot of
- 1:48Speaker 2: the people listening to the show have done things in
- 1:50Speaker 2: their life that have given this similar perspective, right, whether
- 1:54Speaker 2: it's running a marathon or making a huge job transition
- 1:58Speaker 2: that you were super scared of these hurdles in life.
- 2:01Speaker 2: They might not always be expected, but what we learn
- 2:04Speaker 2: by getting over them and conquering them is absolutely irreplaceable
- 2:08Speaker 2: when it comes to showing up to future challenges and
- 2:11Speaker 2: doing the same with those. Like I said, Michael's a
- 2:14Speaker 2: new author. The book is The Comfort Crisis. I'm going
- 2:16Speaker 2: to link to it in the show notes. And speaking
- 2:18Speaker 2: of books, we are currently reading green Lights by Matthew
- 2:21Speaker 2: McConaughey for the Hurdle Book Club. We are getting together
- 2:24Speaker 2: to discuss that on July nineteenth. To sign up to
- 2:27Speaker 2: be kept in the loop for one registration that goes live.
- 2:30Speaker 2: A link to do that is in the show notes.
- 2:33Speaker 2: Make sure you're following along with Hurdle over at Hurdle
- 2:35Speaker 2: Podcast on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. I am over at
- 2:39Speaker 2: Emily a Body and if you haven't subscribed to the
- 2:42Speaker 2: weekly Hurdle yet, I would love it if you would
- 2:45Speaker 2: do just that over there, I'm giving you a lot
- 2:48Speaker 2: of recommendations things that I'm loving. On the regular, I
- 2:51Speaker 2: get a lot of questions in my DMS asking me
- 2:53Speaker 2: for my picks for everything from workout shorts to sunscreen
- 2:57Speaker 2: to things that are in my apartment.
- 2:59Speaker 3: I mean, you name it. Oftentimes I am.
- 3:02Speaker 2: Revealing my favorites in the newsletter and you can get
- 3:05Speaker 2: them in your inbox every single Friday.
- 3:09Speaker 3: That's it for now. With that, let's get to hurdling today.
- 3:23Speaker 3: I am chatting with Michael Easter.
- 3:25Speaker 2: He is a new author of The Comfort Crisis Discomfort
- 3:28Speaker 2: to Reclaim your wild, happy, healthy self.
- 3:31Speaker 3: How you doing today?
- 3:32Speaker 1: I'm doing well? How are you?
- 3:34Speaker 3: I am so good?
- 3:36Speaker 2: The question right off the bat has to be how
- 3:40Speaker 2: does a guy get to a point where he says
- 3:42Speaker 2: to himself, you know what I'm going to do. I'm
- 3:45Speaker 2: going to write a book about getting uncomfortable.
- 3:49Speaker 1: Yes, that is a great question. And there were a
- 3:51Speaker 1: variety of steps for that. So I'll kind of start
- 3:54Speaker 1: from the beginning. One. I worked at mental for a while, right,
- 3:59Speaker 1: And I know this pattern in everything I did for
- 4:02Speaker 1: mental health. Getting healthy, whether it's improving your fitness, losing weight,
- 4:06Speaker 1: usually comes with some form of discomfort. Right. If I
- 4:08Speaker 1: want to improve my fitness, I'm gonna have to work out. Well,
- 4:10Speaker 1: working out is uncomfortable. If I want to lose weight,
- 4:13Speaker 1: probably gonna be hungry, being hungry socks. Okay, So there's that.
- 4:18Speaker 1: Then I meet this guy whose name is Donnie Vincent,
- 4:22Speaker 1: and he's a backhuntry bowhunter and filmmaker. He goes into
- 4:26Speaker 1: these crazy remote places off the grid and he'll be
- 4:30Speaker 1: there for like a month, right, And I end up
- 4:32Speaker 1: doing a story with this guy for Men's Health. So
- 4:34Speaker 1: we go into the wilds of Nevada for like a week.
- 4:38Speaker 1: And you know, like working at Men's Health, you have
- 4:42Speaker 1: to work out a lot, Like you get sent into
- 4:44Speaker 1: these crazy extreme gyms. I've met some characters whatever, But
- 4:48Speaker 1: We get up there and it is uncomfortable in all
- 4:51Speaker 1: these different ways that like I just hadn't experienced forever. Right,
- 4:56Speaker 1: it's freezing cold the entire time. We're carrying these eighty
- 4:59Speaker 1: pounds packs on our back the entire time. Like to
- 5:02Speaker 1: go get water, we have to hike a mile downstream
- 5:04Speaker 1: and bring it back up. We're bored because hunting is
- 5:08Speaker 1: actually very boring. It's not like you're just walking through
- 5:10Speaker 1: the woods, like you're kind of looking through scopes for
- 5:12Speaker 1: like hours of the time. And we only had one scope,
- 5:14Speaker 1: and I didn't have my phone and I didn't have service,
- 5:16Speaker 1: so it's just like, oh, what is boredom? Like this
- 5:18Speaker 1: is new long story short, Donnie. The story is good.
- 5:23Speaker 1: Like people like it. We both get a lot of outreach.
- 5:27Speaker 1: He invites me to come up to the Arctic with
- 5:28Speaker 1: him for thirty three days, and I'm like, all right,
- 5:33Speaker 1: let's do it. So I go up there with him
- 5:36Speaker 1: and it is just Nevada on steroids, where it's like
- 5:41Speaker 1: I experience all these discomforts that we as humans literally
- 5:45Speaker 1: experience every single day. The life I lived up there
- 5:48Speaker 1: was how humans lived for two point five million years
- 5:51Speaker 1: up until like a couple hundred years ago. But when
- 5:54Speaker 1: I come back to my nice, safe, comfortable life at home,
- 5:58Speaker 1: everything is better. Like the dial on my mental, physical,
- 6:01Speaker 1: and even spiritual health was like eleven. It was just
- 6:05Speaker 1: unlike anything that ever happened, and I wanted to know
- 6:08Speaker 1: why that was. So I sort of set off on
- 6:11Speaker 1: this investigation and I traveled around the world. I read
- 6:15Speaker 1: way too many studies, like way too many, met with
- 6:19Speaker 1: people ranging from special forces soldiers, anthropologists at Harvard. I
- 6:24Speaker 1: went to Bhutan and met with Buddhist leaders, went to Iceland,
- 6:27Speaker 1: and sort of the conclusion that I came up with
- 6:30Speaker 1: was that humans need a little bit of discomfort to
- 6:35Speaker 1: improve their lives. And there are a handful that I've
- 6:37Speaker 1: identified in the book, and they all tend to be
- 6:40Speaker 1: things that we used to face all the time, right,
- 6:43Speaker 1: We used to have to go through hunger like life
- 6:46Speaker 1: took effort. And even the way that we approach exercise
- 6:49Speaker 1: today we try and make it comfortable, Like we go
- 6:51Speaker 1: into these air conditioned gyms and like we get on elliptical,
- 6:54Speaker 1: it's all like very programmed and scheduled, and then like okay,
- 6:56Speaker 1: my thirty minutes are up, I'm going to go now,
- 6:58Speaker 1: I'm going to go like sit on the cap, right,
- 7:00Speaker 1: whereas life used to force us into challenge and effort.
- 7:04Speaker 1: And so I've sort of by investigator, sort of by
- 7:06Speaker 1: weaving back some of these things that I've singled out
- 7:10Speaker 1: in the book, we can move the dial a lot
- 7:13Speaker 1: in ways that I think are beneficial for people.
- 7:15Speaker 2: So interesting, I mean, there's so much to tap back
- 7:18Speaker 2: on here. First and foremost thirty three days in the Arctic. Wow,
- 7:22Speaker 2: you're married, right?
- 7:23Speaker 1: I am married? Yes, Okay, you want to hear something
- 7:25Speaker 1: totally messed up? Though? This is the most messed up
- 7:27Speaker 1: part of all this book. And I didn't talk about this.
- 7:29Speaker 1: This is a this is a sore spot. Well, I
- 7:31Speaker 1: was in the Arctic. My wife went on a freaking
- 7:34Speaker 1: cruise into the Greek Islands. So she's like, oh, She's like,
- 7:38Speaker 1: oh you're hungry. Yeah, Well I was on a boat
- 7:40Speaker 1: that's a floating buffet.
- 7:41Speaker 3: You know.
- 7:42Speaker 1: It was awesome, though it was the ultimate troll.
- 7:46Speaker 3: The ultimate Oh my goodness.
- 7:47Speaker 2: I was going to say, how did she feel about
- 7:49Speaker 2: you going to the Arctic for thirty three days?
- 7:52Speaker 3: But it seems that she managed just fine.
- 7:55Speaker 2: And then two other things that you brought out really
- 7:57Speaker 2: interesting to think about the first thing you mentioning, well,
- 8:00Speaker 2: I didn't have my phone. The phone has become such
- 8:03Speaker 2: a crutch for us in so many circumstances of discomfort.
- 8:09Speaker 2: Right you could be anywhere from out to dinner with
- 8:12Speaker 2: someone to walking down the street, and these are all
- 8:15Speaker 2: instances where you have ample opportunity for other social interaction,
- 8:19Speaker 2: but we lean into our phones to get over that
- 8:22Speaker 2: hurdle of well, I don't know what's going to happen
- 8:25Speaker 2: if I actually expose myself to the world.
- 8:27Speaker 1: Yes, totally, And there's a good reason for this. So
- 8:30Speaker 1: as humans evolve two things. When we would get bored.
- 8:34Speaker 1: Boredom is this like evolutionary discomfort that basically tells us,
- 8:37Speaker 1: whatever you're doing right now, the return on your time
- 8:41Speaker 1: invested has warn thin, so you need to go do
- 8:43Speaker 1: something else. So, for example, let's say we're hunting there's
- 8:47Speaker 1: no animals around, Boredom would kick in and basically be like, yo,
- 8:49Speaker 1: go do something else. It's going to improve your life,
- 8:52Speaker 1: So it kept us alive. Number two is that humans
- 8:55Speaker 1: hate unpredictability. So I talked to this researcher at Brown
- 8:58Speaker 1: and he's like, the human brain is always going to
- 9:01Speaker 1: default to something that can predict So we have two
- 9:04Speaker 1: things going on. One is that now anytime we feel
- 9:08Speaker 1: even the most tinge of boredom, we have this really
- 9:13Speaker 1: easy and captivating way to fix it a phone. Number Two,
- 9:18Speaker 1: with that social thing, it's like, if I'm having a
- 9:21Speaker 1: conversation with someone on text, that is so much more
- 9:25Speaker 1: predictable than if we're having a face to face interaction.
- 9:28Speaker 1: Because let's say I say something in a way that
- 9:32Speaker 1: you take wrong. Well, that's scary. But if I'm writing
- 9:34Speaker 1: a text, I'm like, oh, this person might take that wrong. Delete, delete, delete,
- 9:39Speaker 1: I can filter it and send it. So yeah, the phone,
- 9:42Speaker 1: there's a reason now. And something else I talk about
- 9:44Speaker 1: in the book is that, you know, there's a lot
- 9:46Speaker 1: of focus on phones, and I think that that is great,
- 9:49Speaker 1: but I think that sometimes when people try to use
- 9:52Speaker 1: their phone less, they oftentimes will just default to like, Okay,
- 9:57Speaker 1: well now I'm just going to watch Netflix instead, or
- 10:00Speaker 1: now I'm going to be on my computer screen instead,
- 10:02Speaker 1: and like, your brain does not know the difference in
- 10:05Speaker 1: terms of how hard it has to work between the
- 10:08Speaker 1: screen on your phone and the screen on Netflix, or
- 10:11Speaker 1: even things like podcasts. And these are all great things,
- 10:14Speaker 1: but Like, my argument is like, let's not think less phone,
- 10:18Speaker 1: Let's think how can I integrate boredom back into my
- 10:21Speaker 1: life in a productive way, Because you'll find that once
- 10:25Speaker 1: you don't have that easy escape into your phone, the
- 10:28Speaker 1: brain tends to come up with creative ideas. Some of
- 10:31Speaker 1: them are totally a waste, Like you'll think of some
- 10:33Speaker 1: wacky stuff that you're just like, where the hellth do
- 10:35Speaker 1: come from? But a lot of times you'll find something
- 10:37Speaker 1: interesting and productive, you know. So they do studies where
- 10:40Speaker 1: they find that board people come up with more better
- 10:43Speaker 1: creative ideas than people who are not bored.
- 10:46Speaker 3: So interesting, so interesting.
- 10:48Speaker 2: And something else that you mentioned was that so many
- 10:52Speaker 2: companies have made it their mission to make getting healthier
- 10:57Speaker 2: quote unquote easier.
- 10:58Speaker 3: And seem less difficult.
- 11:00Speaker 2: So the question arises, really, is that then a good
- 11:06Speaker 2: thing or a bad thing? Because from my point of view,
- 11:10Speaker 2: at least until this conversation, in this moment, thinking about
- 11:13Speaker 2: it in this manner, my thought is that it's a
- 11:16Speaker 2: good thing, right because for so many the change and
- 11:21Speaker 2: the stepping outside of their comfort zone feels like such
- 11:24Speaker 2: a barrier to entry that for some they need that
- 11:28Speaker 2: level of ease.
- 11:29Speaker 3: To get in the door to start with.
- 11:31Speaker 2: So what do we say to that person when it
- 11:33Speaker 2: comes to perhaps picking up a new meditation routine or
- 11:38Speaker 2: getting into fitness or something like that.
- 11:41Speaker 1: Yeah, so I'll answer that this way, And like specifically
- 11:44Speaker 1: thinking about fitness, if you are a person who frequently
- 11:49Speaker 1: exercises and enjoys working out, you are one of the
- 11:53Speaker 1: weird ones. Okay, So when you look at like how
- 11:55Speaker 1: humans evolved, exercise is something we made up when we
- 11:59Speaker 1: had to remove movement from our days by these technological advances,
- 12:04Speaker 1: Like it would have never made sense to move without
- 12:07Speaker 1: a very purposeful objective like I need to go get
- 12:10Speaker 1: food or something like that. So we're wired for laziness essentially.
- 12:14Speaker 1: So I tell you that because I don't think. I
- 12:17Speaker 1: think a lot of times in the fitness world people
- 12:20Speaker 1: get shamed for not exercising and not wanting to exercise.
- 12:23Speaker 1: It's like, no, it's totally normal to not want to
- 12:25Speaker 1: exercise and to not enjoy it, and that's okay. But
- 12:29Speaker 1: it's also like there's a lot of things that I
- 12:33Speaker 1: do in my life that I've been forced into doing
- 12:36Speaker 1: that I don't like to do either, Like I didn't
- 12:38Speaker 1: want to learn to read when I was a kid.
- 12:40Speaker 1: Reading is this thing we had to make up to
- 12:42Speaker 1: like improve our communication as a species as we had
- 12:45Speaker 1: a lot more people, right, But I had to do that.
- 12:48Speaker 1: I have to pay my taxes, you know, and obviously
- 12:50Speaker 1: you don't have to exercise in the way you have
- 12:53Speaker 1: to pay your taxes. But we also know that if
- 12:56Speaker 1: you're not moving, there's going to be health consequences down
- 12:59Speaker 1: the worlad. I mean, the data is overwhelming in terms
- 13:02Speaker 1: of what a lack of fitness does for mortality rates.
- 13:07Speaker 1: Like it's I mean, it takes more years off your
- 13:10Speaker 1: life if you really don't move at all than smoking
- 13:14Speaker 1: when you look at the data. So I don't know
- 13:17Speaker 1: if that answers your question, but it's kind of one
- 13:20Speaker 1: of those things. And I think that I think starting
- 13:22Speaker 1: where you're at is so important too, you know, like
- 13:25Speaker 1: if you don't do anything, it's like, just start with
- 13:28Speaker 1: a five minute walk that if that's too long and
- 13:31Speaker 1: that sucks too much, try one minute, Try thirty seconds.
- 13:35Speaker 1: Next time, try thirty five seconds, then forty. I think
- 13:38Speaker 1: it's really just sort of just building up that ability
- 13:41Speaker 1: to be okay with feeling a little uncomfortable, and that
- 13:45Speaker 1: improves over time.
- 13:46Speaker 3: Okay.
- 13:47Speaker 2: So the natural question that builds up over time here
- 13:49Speaker 2: is someone recognizes, Okay, I need to make a change.
- 13:53Speaker 2: I understand that this change is going to be uncomfortable,
- 13:58Speaker 2: or what it is that I am seeking to do
- 14:00Speaker 2: is not within my current wheelhouse. How do they proceed?
- 14:05Speaker 2: What's the next step after making that perhaps like confession
- 14:10Speaker 2: to themselves.
- 14:11Speaker 1: I think a lot of times people get more worked
- 14:14Speaker 1: up about the idea of being uncomfortable then they are
- 14:19Speaker 1: about actually being uncomfortable. Like, once you start something, it's
- 14:22Speaker 1: not that bad, you know. It's like take hunger for example.
- 14:27Speaker 1: People don't freak out about being hungry. They freak out
- 14:30Speaker 1: about the idea of being hungry. Right, It's like because
- 14:33Speaker 1: if you've actually experienced physiological hunger, it's not like it
- 14:35Speaker 1: builds and builds and builds and then it's just like
- 14:37Speaker 1: completely unbearable. It kind of comes and goes in waves
- 14:40Speaker 1: based on where your attention is. So I think realizing
- 14:44Speaker 1: that you're probably overthinking this, like yes, there's going to
- 14:49Speaker 1: be some moments of discomfort, but also think like you
- 14:53Speaker 1: kind of sometimes have to do things that are uncomfortable
- 14:56Speaker 1: if you want to improve yourself or learn things. I
- 14:59Speaker 1: mean change is uncomfortable, back to like what humans like
- 15:02Speaker 1: and don't like. Humans are wired to not like change.
- 15:05Speaker 1: We want things that are predictable, right, Like, the human
- 15:08Speaker 1: brain has always defaulted to what is predictable. So getting
- 15:11Speaker 1: out of your comfort zone can be tough, but the
- 15:14Speaker 1: rewards are huge. I mean even just things like you
- 15:18Speaker 1: look at their research on changing up your routine and
- 15:22Speaker 1: we all tend to live in autopilot mode. Well, once
- 15:24Speaker 1: we go out of that autopilot mode, it really can
- 15:26Speaker 1: improve your focus and where your attention is spent. All
- 15:30Speaker 1: of a sudden, you can't predict the future, so you
- 15:32Speaker 1: have to pay attention, you know, and you look at
- 15:34Speaker 1: someone like the work of William James. He talks about
- 15:37Speaker 1: how at the end of your life, the sum of
- 15:39Speaker 1: your life is what you paid attention to. Right, So,
- 15:43Speaker 1: if you can get yourself in moments where you just
- 15:44Speaker 1: are kind of forced into being mindful, it's like that
- 15:47Speaker 1: stuff you're going to remember.
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- 18:42Speaker 2: thinking about that idea of the sum of your life
- 18:45Speaker 2: is the things that you pay attention to. It's I
- 18:47Speaker 2: remember once I was speaking to someone and they pointed
- 18:49Speaker 2: out that the differences between like optimistic people and pessimistic people.
- 18:53Speaker 2: And the optimistic people are the ones that are sitting
- 18:56Speaker 2: on the sidewalk having lunch with a friend and they
- 18:59Speaker 2: see an elderly couple walking across the street and they're like,
- 19:02Speaker 2: super cute and they're just enjoying the simple things of life.
- 19:05Speaker 2: And the pessimistic person that you could be having lunch
- 19:07Speaker 2: with sees the smelly garbage truck, like pull up and
- 19:10Speaker 2: put the trash in the back. And how different are
- 19:13Speaker 2: those two perspectives on life? Because one person goes about
- 19:16Speaker 2: their day and finds like the small joys and the
- 19:18Speaker 2: simple pleasures, and the other person is like, I don't
- 19:20Speaker 2: know at sometimes maybe like the classic cynical New Yorker
- 19:23Speaker 2: and this is just the ways that you go about
- 19:25Speaker 2: your living.
- 19:26Speaker 1: Totally. So I'll tell you a story, and let me
- 19:29Speaker 1: preface the story by saying that I am not suggesting
- 19:32Speaker 1: in the least bit that you have to go to
- 19:34Speaker 1: Alaska for more than a month to get this effect,
- 19:36Speaker 1: but I will tell you this. So we get up there,
- 19:40Speaker 1: it's freezing cold, right. We have one day where we're
- 19:43Speaker 1: like twelve miles from camp and the sun is going down,
- 19:47Speaker 1: so we have to get back. And the way you
- 19:49Speaker 1: get back is across the tundra, which is I won't
- 19:51Speaker 1: go into detail, but it is the worst thing to
- 19:53Speaker 1: walk on in the world because it's kind of like
- 19:55Speaker 1: half frozen. There's these big balls of grass that are
- 19:58Speaker 1: really hard to walk on. And this was like pretty
- 20:01Speaker 1: deep into the trip, and we get back to the
- 20:04Speaker 1: tent and it is, you know, it's like negative twenty outside,
- 20:08Speaker 1: and I'm freaking starving and I have a cliff bar
- 20:12Speaker 1: and that's all I have for dinner, right, And so
- 20:15Speaker 1: now it's like when I get back into my normal life,
- 20:19Speaker 1: I can like stand, let's say, in a restaurant or
- 20:22Speaker 1: something like that, and the service might be crappy and
- 20:27Speaker 1: things may not be going my way, but I can
- 20:28Speaker 1: be like, oh, I'm warm. Yeah, I didn't have to
- 20:31Speaker 1: walk twelve miles to get here. I'm about to eat
- 20:34Speaker 1: something that's a lot more delicious than a cliff bar
- 20:36Speaker 1: and it's gonna be amazing. Things are totally fine. So
- 20:39Speaker 1: I think the lesson is that, like sometimes we need
- 20:42Speaker 1: to it's easy to get locked into a perspective where
- 20:47Speaker 1: we don't really see how good we have it. A
- 20:49Speaker 1: lot of us, right, And I'm not suggesting at all
- 20:51Speaker 1: that like the world doesn't still have problems that we
- 20:53Speaker 1: need to work on, but I think a lot of
- 20:55Speaker 1: people's every day problems are sort of first world problems
- 20:59Speaker 1: and we don't see that, right. So if you have
- 21:01Speaker 1: moments that push back at those can give you a
- 21:03Speaker 1: lot of perspective and that will make you more appreciative
- 21:07Speaker 1: of everything you have.
- 21:08Speaker 2: Well, this is the same thought process behind the marathon, right.
- 21:12Speaker 2: It's the commonplace of once you run a marathon, your
- 21:16Speaker 2: perspective on so many of the other hurdles that you
- 21:20Speaker 2: will have to overcome in your life completely shifts, and
- 21:24Speaker 2: you understand, having perhaps succeeded and pushed yourself through something
- 21:30Speaker 2: that at times for sure felt one hundred percent impossible,
- 21:34Speaker 2: that you are then capable of anything. So for you,
- 21:37Speaker 2: in reporting this book and all of the experts that
- 21:40Speaker 2: you spoke with and the research that you learned. Does
- 21:42Speaker 2: anyone have like a term for this? Is there something
- 21:46Speaker 2: in the brain that becomes unlocked when we see ourselves
- 21:51Speaker 2: getting through these difficult hurdles.
- 21:53Speaker 1: It's a good question. So part of the book I
- 21:56Speaker 1: talked about this idea called masogi and guy his name
- 22:01Speaker 1: is Marcus Elliott. He super far out. He's like gone
- 22:04Speaker 1: to burning Man since way back when it was like
- 22:06Speaker 1: super weird back in the day.
- 22:08Speaker 2: How you know you're super far out is that you
- 22:10Speaker 2: you're burning me on veteran.
- 22:12Speaker 1: One hundred percent. But he's also he went to Harvard
- 22:15Speaker 1: Medical School, so he's also very very smart, and he
- 22:17Speaker 1: started this company called P three and they have contracts
- 22:20Speaker 1: like with the NBA in the NFL, and they do
- 22:22Speaker 1: all this like data movement modeling. It's all like very
- 22:25Speaker 1: science and techie like he's totally revolutionized sports science. But
- 22:28Speaker 1: he also knows that like what improves humans, our performance,
- 22:33Speaker 1: how we see the world can always be measured. So
- 22:36Speaker 1: they do this thing called masogi and it's like once
- 22:38Speaker 1: a year they will pick one really freaking hard thing
- 22:43Speaker 1: that's usually outdoors, and they'll go do it to see
- 22:46Speaker 1: if they can do it. And there's only two rules
- 22:49Speaker 1: rule number one, it's got to be really hard, which
- 22:51Speaker 1: they define by saying you have a fifty percent chance
- 22:54Speaker 1: of finishing it. Rule number two is that you can't die.
- 22:58Speaker 1: So pretty straightforward rule number two. And they've done things
- 23:00Speaker 1: like get an eighty five pound boulder and walk it
- 23:04Speaker 1: five miles beneath the Santa Barbara Channel, so they'll like
- 23:07Speaker 1: dive down ten yards. The next guy goes down all
- 23:10Speaker 1: kinds of just kooky challenges. And the idea is what
- 23:14Speaker 1: they're mimicking is when you look at like all cultures,
- 23:18Speaker 1: like older cultures, people usually had to go through a
- 23:21Speaker 1: rite of passage. Now, the idea of a right of
- 23:23Speaker 1: passage is that you as a human are at point A,
- 23:28Speaker 1: but we need you in our tribe or whatever it is,
- 23:30Speaker 1: to be at point B. How to get you to
- 23:32Speaker 1: point B, We're gonna like send you out in the
- 23:34Speaker 1: wild to do something hard. So you look at all
- 23:36Speaker 1: these different cultures. There's things like the Massai would do
- 23:39Speaker 1: lion hunts, you have original tribe would do, walk about
- 23:43Speaker 1: all kinds of different stuff. And while you're out there
- 23:46Speaker 1: in this sort of middle ground of challenge, you're like,
- 23:50Speaker 1: I don't know if I can do this you have
- 23:51Speaker 1: these moments where you're like, I'm gonna quit. I'm gonna quit.
- 23:55Speaker 1: You know, I can see my edges coming up, and
- 23:57Speaker 1: I'm gonna quit when I hit that edge. But then
- 23:59Speaker 1: you up over it and you keep stepping, and then
- 24:02Speaker 1: you look back and go, well, I thought my edge
- 24:05Speaker 1: was right there, but I'm beyond it. So like I
- 24:07Speaker 1: sold myself short. There where else in my life am
- 24:11Speaker 1: I selling myself short? You know? I think that humans
- 24:14Speaker 1: have way more potential than we realized. So by doing
- 24:19Speaker 1: something like that, doing something hard, whether that's this Kooki
- 24:23Speaker 1: masogi thing this guy does or a marathon when you
- 24:26Speaker 1: think you really can't do it, we learn a lot
- 24:29Speaker 1: about ourselves. And there's some like evolutionary machinery that really
- 24:32Speaker 1: gets triggered. And I think that, you know, our natural
- 24:36Speaker 1: environment used to show us these sorts of challenges all
- 24:39Speaker 1: the time because life was tough. We had to do
- 24:41Speaker 1: things like hunt and gather and you know, move great distances.
- 24:46Speaker 1: But nowadays we don't really have that, So I think
- 24:48Speaker 1: we do need these sort of moments that push back
- 24:50Speaker 1: at us and teach us something about ourselves.
- 24:52Speaker 2: For the person who finds themselves constantly underestimating themselves or perhaps,
- 24:59Speaker 2: as you said, selling themselves short. What advice do you
- 25:04Speaker 2: have for them to help them push through that hurdle.
- 25:08Speaker 1: First of all, you're totally normal, So if you think
- 25:10Speaker 1: about as humans evolved, it would make sense there would
- 25:13Speaker 1: be a survival benefit to be the type of person
- 25:16Speaker 1: who goes, I don't think I can do that. So
- 25:19Speaker 1: if something you know were to come your way, you're like,
- 25:21Speaker 1: I'm not touching that. It's a little too risky. But
- 25:23Speaker 1: if you were thrown into that situation to actually have
- 25:26Speaker 1: an outsized ability to complete it, right, So we there
- 25:29Speaker 1: was an advantage to not thinking you're capable of something,
- 25:32Speaker 1: but actually being capable. If humans would have been the opposite,
- 25:35Speaker 1: if we were like, hell, yeah, I can do that,
- 25:38Speaker 1: and then we get out there and it's just like
- 25:39Speaker 1: we suck, Like we would have died off, right, So
- 25:42Speaker 1: I tell you that to basically say you are capable
- 25:46Speaker 1: of a lot more like we are not far removed
- 25:49Speaker 1: from the people of our past. And you know, our
- 25:52Speaker 1: ancestors used to exercise fourteen times more than us. Wasn't
- 25:56Speaker 1: abnormal for them to have to run twenty miles in
- 25:58Speaker 1: any given day like we have this on board. We
- 26:03Speaker 1: just don't want to use it, and there is a
- 26:05Speaker 1: good reason for that.
- 26:06Speaker 2: And then in all of your reporting, was there anything
- 26:09Speaker 2: else that really took you by surprise?
- 26:12Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure. So I went to So I'm up
- 26:15Speaker 1: there hunting, okay, backcountry hunting, and I had never hunted before,
- 26:18Speaker 1: and I was super reticent about hunting because I'm like,
- 26:22Speaker 1: it was it's weird because like I eat meat all
- 26:24Speaker 1: the time, and yet I'm like, I don't know if
- 26:26Speaker 1: I actually want to engage in that, so I won't
- 26:29Speaker 1: go into the details. But I end up hunting, like
- 26:31Speaker 1: I still have meat in my freezer. But it got
- 26:33Speaker 1: me thinking about the life cycle. And in the West,
- 26:37Speaker 1: I think we don't want to think about or acknowledge
- 26:40Speaker 1: the fact that one day we are going to die.
- 26:42Speaker 1: And you can see this in our funeral system, where
- 26:44Speaker 1: like when someone dies, we sort of make them look
- 26:48Speaker 1: as youthful as possible, and then we sort of, you know,
- 26:51Speaker 1: have this viewing and then they're in the ground and
- 26:52Speaker 1: then we're told, you know, keep your mind off it.
- 26:54Speaker 1: Go do something to take your mind off it. Even
- 26:56Speaker 1: our food system, right, It's like our meat is manicure
- 27:00Speaker 1: in such a way that we're not reminded that came
- 27:02Speaker 1: from a living thing. So I end up traveling to
- 27:04Speaker 1: Bhutan because they have a very different relationship with death
- 27:08Speaker 1: than we do in the US. People in Bhutan are
- 27:11Speaker 1: instructed to think about death at least once a day.
- 27:14Speaker 1: A lot of their art and cultural stuff revolves around death.
- 27:18Speaker 1: And I talked to this this guy who's super high
- 27:22Speaker 1: up in Buddhism there, and it was it was a
- 27:24Speaker 1: total trip because he lives in this like cliff side
- 27:27Speaker 1: shack up this total rutted out dirt road. And my
- 27:30Speaker 1: driver you have to have a driver there. We're in
- 27:32Speaker 1: a smart car essentially, So my driver like Baja five
- 27:37Speaker 1: hundreds this thing up this dirt road and I get
- 27:40Speaker 1: to this shack and it's like I kind of have
- 27:41Speaker 1: to go door to door and it's very basic. And
- 27:44Speaker 1: I open this drape and like there's this big statue
- 27:47Speaker 1: of the Buddha and there's like this incense smoke in
- 27:49Speaker 1: the air, and like this guy just like turns to
- 27:52Speaker 1: me and he's like hello, you know, just like oh
- 27:55Speaker 1: my god, this is like the gangly westerner has come
- 27:58Speaker 1: to see the Guru. But we talked for a handful
- 28:02Speaker 1: of hours and He talked about how in the West
- 28:05Speaker 1: we just don't want to acknowledge the fact that, you know,
- 28:08Speaker 1: one day we're going to die, but once we actually do,
- 28:10Speaker 1: that changes our behavior because all of a sudden you realize,
- 28:14Speaker 1: like this ride is going to end, and people naturally
- 28:17Speaker 1: become a lot more appreciative and it helps you sort
- 28:21Speaker 1: of figure out, like what am I doing with my time?
- 28:25Speaker 1: Helps you become more compassionate as well, because if I
- 28:28Speaker 1: know that, like you know, one day this ride is
- 28:31Speaker 1: going to end, and someone annoys me with like a
- 28:33Speaker 1: snarky email, like I'm just not going to get worked up,
- 28:35Speaker 1: I'm just gonna be like, okay, whatever you know helps
- 28:37Speaker 1: me make better decisions. Now, this is very uncomfortable thought,
- 28:41Speaker 1: of course, it's like, oh man, that is heavy. But
- 28:45Speaker 1: on the other side of that, I think your life
- 28:48Speaker 1: improves and there's you can find some happiness there. And
- 28:51Speaker 1: it's interesting because Bhutan is even though they're like totally
- 28:54Speaker 1: low on the development rankings, they always rank as one
- 28:57Speaker 1: of the world's happiest countries.
- 28:59Speaker 2: Wow, I mean I I well, I needed to take
- 29:00Speaker 2: that perspective last weekend when I was like attempting to
- 29:03Speaker 2: put up vinyl stick on wallpaper.
- 29:06Speaker 3: Wow, you would have thought.
- 29:07Speaker 2: You would have thought the world was ending when this
- 29:09Speaker 2: was going nowhere near as easy as they make it
- 29:11Speaker 2: look like in all the videos. I was like on
- 29:14Speaker 2: the floor. I facetied my dad. I've got like mess
- 29:17Speaker 2: garrow on my face. He's like, what's on your face?
- 29:19Speaker 2: I'm like, I've been crying. I can't get this wallpaper up.
- 29:22Speaker 3: And then I'm like, wow, it's just some stick on wallpaper.
- 29:27Speaker 3: That We're fine. We're fine. Such an interesting perspective and
- 29:30Speaker 3: such a.
- 29:31Speaker 2: Really important lesson to take away, just understanding that these
- 29:34Speaker 2: moments of discomfort, they come and they go, and that
- 29:37Speaker 2: we have the opportunity to either embrace that and kind
- 29:41Speaker 2: of harness that and work through that, or we can
- 29:44Speaker 2: be the only thing that holds ourself.
- 29:45Speaker 3: Back right totally.
- 29:46Speaker 1: Yeah, And on the other side of that discomfort is
- 29:48Speaker 1: usually some sort of improvement in body, mind, spirit.
- 29:52Speaker 3: All that good stuff.
- 29:53Speaker 2: Michael, How do the hurdlers keep up with you? How
- 29:56Speaker 2: do they follow along with you? Give me all of
- 29:58Speaker 2: the information.
- 30:00Speaker 1: The book that we're talking about is called The Comfort Crisis.
- 30:02Speaker 1: It's available wherever books are sold. I have a website
- 30:06Speaker 1: Eastermichael dot com. And then I'm on Instagram at Michael Underscore.
- 30:09Speaker 2: Easter, I'm over at Emily Body at Hurdle Podcast, another
- 30:14Speaker 2: hurdle conquered.
- 30:15Speaker 3: Catch you guys next time.