Latest / Dits & Dahs / Happy birthday, Hogg
Transcript
- Sue: I'm recording this on what would have been my late husband's seventieth birthday. One of the conveniences of our life together was that it happened that my birthday is exactly four weeks after. It's one of those things I think that life partners, family members, loved ones share an obligation. I put quotes around ⁓ the word obligation to help celebrate and at least remember their significant others or loved ones' birthday. It doesn't take much more for me than just a simple acknowledgement of it. And there was one time as I'm sure many married couples can attest, where one spouse completely forgot the date. But I recall one year in particular where he forgot my birthday and it was three days until he remembered. In the meantime I'm not one to drop hints or anything like that. And he might not have been around for the phone calls or bits of ephemera that come in, printed cards and such. So it was a three day thing. And I and what I what I find interesting about that is just that recognition, acknowledgement, as I say, that I think goes a lot to trust, faith. Because those that are loved ones in your life are the first ones usually to stand up for you. That's my experience, it might not be yours. But this isn't about that. I always like to mention it though, because I think they're touch points of our existence that we sometimes overlook and then wonder why we're having issues. And if you don't accept yourself with your faith and don't trust yourself, can't have the s expect the same from others. And not to go down that path too deeply. I started this off talking about today's remembrance of my husband's birthday. And our life has got milestones set on birth dates. And as it happens in four weeks' time, I will be reaching the age of sixty-five, which means I've joined the Medicare group. I can't tell you how many of my friends have given me the don't forget. Forget 90 days before your 65th birthday, make sure you sign up for Plan B and C and D and all of that. And even five years, even four and a half years after my husband's death, I have friends saying, We're going out to lunch today because you shouldn't be alone on your late husband's birthday. So it speaks to the cultural significance that some of us carry within us about celebrating the day that you're born. I've been very fortunate given the group that hangs out with me in two years. Terms of family and friends that I usually end up having a good solid week of celebrations. Sometimes a month, but confirmation with a chipmunk. And the deer. Birthday is just another day. Yes, it has personal significance for some, right? But it's just another day. To me, that just heightens my awareness to remain focused on all that's happening around me. Whether there are celebrations is not important to me. So yeah, I'd give that a little weight. I think that's just the little least that you can do and yet still refill fulfill the requirements. I speak on this often, but during the time that my husband was sick and right before he died, there were months where we were legally in destitution. And at the time of his death he was sixty four. Four months away from what would have been his sixty fifth birthday. And that for even a UK citizen triggers pension and retirement and things. So I couldn't help but Explore the possibility that the pension that he paid into might be available to access and help ease the burden of the destitution. And for those of you who are married to non US spouses, you're familiar with how each country's laws that impact your relationship do so in many ways, some of which you never really think about until a death happens because of a pension or something. He worked in two areas of the UK, the Isle of Man, and he was an advent petrol head, so those of you who Know about the Isle of Man TT will appreciate that he was living it every day. So his he had a pension with Isle of Man, pension with Great Britain, specifically working most of his life at England and Wales. I needed to contact both authorities because although the Isle of Man is part of Great Britain, they they have their own laws. He, my husband used to complain about how ununited the states were with their laws. So here we are with the Isle of Man. So I put in my application to request his Pension, and because he was self employed, it's just usually a payout of about two grand, because he only lived there for I don't know, a couple years of that. The money was greatly appreciated. Bought a new washer and dryer with it that both had broken, so been doing without for a couple years, so that was a good thing. However, the UK pension, I don't receive his pension, which I think is about a hundred and fifty a month. Having that little stipend every month would be even helpful now. But I can't access that for another two years. Funny how something that is just another day creates the kind of financial milestones that make an impact. And I've just come to the realization that being fully aware each and every day is proof that it is just another day. And we're all richer and more grateful for it. It doesn't have to be boring. Can be routine. Who cares? I'm just grateful that it's just another day. And celebrating it for all of the awareness that I have surrounding it is it's just such a beautiful thing. And that others who have no connection other than being friends and neighbors, still wish to celebrate my late husband's life. It's a beautiful thing. And I appreciate that. I appreciate you for listening. Thank you.