Latest / Crafted Connections / EP 10: Boundaries, Re-building, & Owning Your Weirdness with Kimberli Hudson

Transcript

EP 10: Boundaries, Re-building, & Owning Your Weirdness with Kimberli Hudson · Crafted Connections

0:04
SPEAKER_01: Hello, welcome to Crafted Connections.
0:07
SPEAKER_01: I'm Kaylee Calhoun, and this is a podcast all about storytelling and building genuine community.
0:13
SPEAKER_01: Here we'll dive into the art of storytelling, unpack strategies for making meaningful connections, and hear from incredible humans who are using their story to create impact.
0:23
SPEAKER_01: So grab your favorite beverage, settle in, and let's craft some connections.
0:29
SPEAKER_01: Welcome back, friends.
0:30
SPEAKER_01: We have officially made it to episode 10 of Crafted Connections.
0:34
SPEAKER_01: I am so grateful to anyone who's listened or told me keep going.
0:40
SPEAKER_01: We've only just begun, but it's fun to celebrate the double digits, celebrate every little thing, which is super appropriate for my dear pal Kimberly Hudson, who is on today's episode.
0:51
SPEAKER_01: Kimberly is a serial entrepreneur who has owned 13 companies across wildly different industries and now runs the Hudson Group, where she helps women step into executive leadership and business ownership.
1:03
SPEAKER_01: I've had the privilege of doing a few sessions with her, and she really helped me deal with some of my shit.
1:09
SPEAKER_01: And I talk about it in this episode.
1:11
SPEAKER_01: She is a powerhouse, a woman with a laugh that is a gift to the freaking planet.
1:18
SPEAKER_01: In our conversation, she opens up about some of the hardest years of her life, navigating a massive business failure, and how she rebuilt from the ground up.
1:26
SPEAKER_01: Through all this, we talk about community, curiosity, boundaries, money, and why your weirdness is actually your secret sauce.
1:33
SPEAKER_01: It's a heart-filled conversation, and I would expect nothing less from the wonderful Kimberly Hudson.
1:39
SPEAKER_01: So please, please, please enjoy this episode full of hard-earned wisdom and lots of giggles.
1:45
SPEAKER_01: Let's dive in.
1:48
SPEAKER_01: Kimberly, thank you so much for joining me on Crafted Connections.
1:53
SPEAKER_01: How are you today?
1:54
SPEAKER_01: I'm good.
1:54
SPEAKER_01: How are you, Caitlin?
1:55
SPEAKER_01: Thank you for having me.
1:56
SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
1:57
SPEAKER_01: I'm awesome.
1:58
SPEAKER_01: It's so good to have you.
1:59
SPEAKER_01: Just to kick off, can you give the good people a few sentences about how you would describe yourself, who you are?
2:05
SPEAKER_01: I know a few sentences is such a small amount, but let's see what we can do.
2:10
SPEAKER_00: So my name is Kimberly Hudson, and I'm a serial entrepreneur.
2:14
SPEAKER_00: I've owned 13 companies, gingry to be 14.
2:17
SPEAKER_00: And I am now currently an executive coach and business consultant for mostly female run and owned companies all over the world.
2:26
SPEAKER_00: I do have a handful of amazing men that I work with that I just adore.
2:30
SPEAKER_00: I basically get to do every day what I absolutely love doing and that feeds me and gives me energy.
2:37
SPEAKER_00: I'm so blessed.
2:38
SPEAKER_00: But I also garden, I'm a dancer, I've taught dance on and off for 20 years.
2:42
SPEAKER_00: I have two very spoiled cats.
2:44
SPEAKER_00: I'm remodeling my beautiful but overwhelming 1880 house that has all the original woodwork and stained glass windows and all the good stuff.
2:53
SPEAKER_00: But oh my gosh, it's a lot of work.
2:58
SPEAKER_00: I love people.
2:59
SPEAKER_00: I love making those connections and helping people work through those niggly bits that we're all working through, right?
3:09
SPEAKER_00: Those things that are painful, those things that are hard, those things we don't want to look at, but we know are actually there.
3:15
SPEAKER_00: We just need somebody to be like, oh honey, no.
3:18
SPEAKER_01: It's so great.
3:19
SPEAKER_01: The oh honey no, which I've received from you many a time.
3:22
SPEAKER_01: And it's wonderful to get.
3:24
SPEAKER_01: Like it's it comes from a place of love.
3:26
SPEAKER_01: And honestly, it's always funny because you'll say, oh honey, no, and then six months later, I was like, Yeah, she was right.
3:31
SPEAKER_01: And it's great.
3:33
SPEAKER_01: So great.
3:34
SPEAKER_01: But I want to go back to this beautiful home and this community building.
3:38
SPEAKER_01: As I was thinking about our conversation today, I was thinking about your neighborhood, the neighborhood you live in, and not just the neighborhood you live in, but the community that you're building in the neighborhood.
3:48
SPEAKER_01: When we first started connecting, we honestly ate coffee like every other week, Tuesday mornings, bright and early at this coffee shop around the corner from you.
3:57
SPEAKER_01: And you say hello to everyone.
3:59
SPEAKER_01: Can you share your experience of building a cozy little neighborhood for yourself and like thinking locally and globally in your community building?
4:08
SPEAKER_01: I think you're really wonderful at that.
4:09
SPEAKER_01: And I think it's an art.
4:10
SPEAKER_01: It is.
4:11
SPEAKER_01: You've had a lot of different experiences, you've lived a lot of places.
4:13
SPEAKER_01: Give people a little bit of like a peek into that.
4:15
SPEAKER_01: What does that look like to build community both locally and globally?
4:19
SPEAKER_00: I am blessed that I moved into this community that I bought this house, kind of knowing, but not really knowing, in this remarkable community of old homes where I literally know everyone on my street.
4:32
SPEAKER_00: And in the summer, people walk down the street with a beer in their hand saying hi to their neighbors.
4:36
SPEAKER_00: It's a pretty fantastic place.
4:38
SPEAKER_00: But you know, I've lived in places that I have not had that community in my immediate surroundings.
4:46
SPEAKER_00: And even though I've tried to build it, and like you said, I am a natural community builder.
4:51
SPEAKER_00: For whatever reason, I came into this body with that talent.
4:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
4:57
SPEAKER_00: Part of it's my mom, she was like that, but it is one of my gifts.
5:01
SPEAKER_00: I I've always known that is, and I'm I'm very grateful for it.
5:05
SPEAKER_00: But some places, communities don't want to be built.
5:10
SPEAKER_00: Like people either don't engage in that way.
5:14
SPEAKER_00: Like I moved here from Los Angeles and I loved my time there.
5:17
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
5:18
SPEAKER_00: But Los Angeles can be, not always, but can be a very transactional place where people come and go regularly.
5:25
SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of movement there, which is wonderful.
5:28
SPEAKER_00: And unless you have family there or you grew up there, people don't really connect deeply easily with new people because they know you're gonna be gone.
5:41
SPEAKER_00: Right, right.
5:42
SPEAKER_00: And that is not what I find here.
5:43
SPEAKER_00: I mean, moving to the Midwest, people stay here.
5:46
SPEAKER_00: Like I have neighbors that have lived in this neighborhood for 40 plus years.
5:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
5:50
SPEAKER_00: And not just one or two, a lot of them.
5:52
SPEAKER_00: So building local community, and I guess for global too, people have to want to have community.
6:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
6:00
SPEAKER_00: Can't build community with people that either are convinced that they have all the community they need, which might be the case, or they don't want community, period.
6:10
SPEAKER_00: And I personally think that's a poor choice for you know our social and our emotional development, but that is a choice that people make all the time.
6:20
SPEAKER_01: Can you speak to what philosophies do you like to live by?
6:25
SPEAKER_01: And what in your life experience has solidified those philosophies?
6:30
SPEAKER_00: Honestly, I think first has got to be curiosity, pulling at those threads in life and just seeing what happens.
6:37
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, seeing what unfolds.
6:39
SPEAKER_00: And I think that relates a lot to community too.
6:42
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
6:43
SPEAKER_00: Opening up those lines of communication and being curious instead of shutting things down and opening up so others feel comfortable being their true and authentic self.
6:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
6:58
SPEAKER_00: You know, I was talking with a friend about this today, and we were talking about how we're both, you know, vast generalists.
7:04
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
7:05
SPEAKER_00: There's a reason I've owned 13 companies and started three nonprofits because I'm always curious.
7:11
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
7:11
SPEAKER_00: When I start learning about something and start going down that rabbit hole, if I get off far enough, I start going, oh, is there a way that this can actually make money for me while I'm still learning about it?
7:23
SPEAKER_00: So I'm building the bicycle while I'm riding it most of the time, which is great because I can help other people do that same thing.
7:32
SPEAKER_00: Oh, business building is really that.
7:34
SPEAKER_00: But curiosity and community.
7:37
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, definitely.
7:38
SPEAKER_00: The people, the connections.
7:40
SPEAKER_00: That's what really, and I think especially with everything that's going on in the world right now, with having been through COVID and that loneliness.
7:51
SPEAKER_00: Community is crucial actually to human existence.
7:56
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
7:56
SPEAKER_00: We are pack animals, we are not lone beings.
8:00
SPEAKER_00: Don't get me wrong, I need downtime like anyone else.
8:04
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
8:04
SPEAKER_00: Quite happy, sitting with a book by myself all day long, or working in my garden by myself all day long.
8:10
SPEAKER_00: And then I go out and I have coffee with a friend, or I go to a party.
8:14
SPEAKER_00: It's the balance.
8:16
SPEAKER_00: Nobody is all one thing.
8:18
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, curiosity, community.
8:20
SPEAKER_01: I want to say this too.
8:22
SPEAKER_01: We've known each other since spring of 2023.
8:26
SPEAKER_01: It feels like much longer than that because of just the quality of time we spend together and the shit we've been through alongside each other, right?
8:35
SPEAKER_01: But I do want to say this is the first time when I'm hearing you talk about that your 13 businesses, three nonprofits, where I recognize how community played a crucial role in that.
8:46
SPEAKER_01: Because my experience up until the point I met you was a very lonely solopreneur trying to learn how to have employees' experience.
8:55
SPEAKER_01: And then since then, I've been launching a few small initiatives and doing some like business work in more of a community group aspect in a way that's really working.
9:07
SPEAKER_01: And now I'm seeing, oh, it wasn't Kimberly solopreneured 13 businesses.
9:14
SPEAKER_01: And so I would love to hear about that and how the community played a role in that.
9:19
SPEAKER_01: And community almost supported you being curious, right?
9:22
SPEAKER_01: And supported you building and trying a bunch of stuff.
9:26
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
9:27
SPEAKER_00: One really important thing is when you do all this crazy stuff and start 13 companies and redo a house and don't make much sense to some people.
9:38
SPEAKER_00: It really shows you who your community is and who the people that get you are because you're kind of weird.
9:45
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I'm I'm not normal, and I'm very glad I'm not normal.
9:50
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
9:50
SPEAKER_00: Amen.
9:51
SPEAKER_00: I'm not normal.
9:52
SPEAKER_01: I have a deep belief that everybody's got their weird things.
9:55
SPEAKER_01: I think it is people are afraid to share it.
9:58
SPEAKER_01: You know, they're afraid to try it.
9:59
SPEAKER_01: There it comes from like fear of like trying new things or change, right?
10:04
SPEAKER_01: But that's one thing I love about spending time with you.
10:06
SPEAKER_01: I love about you is that you are not afraid to be weird and look weird and to mess up.
10:11
SPEAKER_01: Okay, cool.
10:11
SPEAKER_01: We'll get up the next day and we'll do it again.
10:13
SPEAKER_00: We'll try something else.
10:14
SPEAKER_00: Yes, and there have definitely been times in my life, and there are still definitely days that I'm like, ew.
10:22
SPEAKER_00: But I have experienced both in my own life, my own businesses and my clients' lives and businesses over and over and over again that your weirdness is your special sauce.
10:36
SPEAKER_00: Like that is what's going to find you, your community and your tribe, and keep that loneliness over in the corner and really help you to feel seen and heard.
10:48
SPEAKER_00: And that your life has true, deep, meaningful value.
10:53
SPEAKER_00: And that's what those deep connections bring to you.
10:55
SPEAKER_00: And by being your weird freaky self, that is what's gonna bring those people to you every time.
11:01
SPEAKER_00: And I know we've all heard that, right?
11:04
SPEAKER_00: And I will say there's something magical about being in menopause.
11:08
SPEAKER_00: You just don't give as much of a shit anymore.
11:11
SPEAKER_00: And does it hurt?
11:13
SPEAKER_00: Yes, but it doesn't any longer make me feel like I am less than or I have done something wrong when somebody decides that I'm not their cup of tea.
11:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you're not questioning yourself and who you are.
11:31
SPEAKER_00: Again, I'll say yes and do I take some time and self-reflect and write about it and say, okay, what what culpability, what part because coming again from that place of curiosity instead of defensiveness allows me to really dive in and see the situation for what it is.
11:51
SPEAKER_00: And when people do something that is against their better judgment or their better self, instead of looking at themselves and going, oh, I screwed up, they blame other people because that is easier than looking at yourself.
12:07
SPEAKER_00: So the first thing I always do is take a deep look at myself and look at my own culpability, which I always have some because we always have some in every situation.
12:17
SPEAKER_00: But having culpability is very different than feeling guilty and feeling shameful about it and changing who I am at my core.
12:26
SPEAKER_00: I don't need to change who I am at my core in order to learn from my mistakes and have new habits form.
12:33
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
12:34
SPEAKER_00: Those are two very different things.
12:36
SPEAKER_01: I love that.
12:37
SPEAKER_01: Do you have any examples of times where you're like, you really just learned your lessons that you'd like to share?
12:42
SPEAKER_01: So some people can have some expansion around that.
12:45
SPEAKER_00: Gosh, so many times.
12:46
SPEAKER_00: Um what do I pick from?
12:49
SPEAKER_01: Well, that's the thing, though.
12:50
SPEAKER_01: That's life, and I love that, right?
12:51
SPEAKER_01: I love that.
12:52
SPEAKER_00: And to me, I mean, that and I will answer your question, but let me bring on something real quick.
12:58
SPEAKER_00: You asked what kind of my guiding principles were.
13:02
SPEAKER_00: And most of the time, most of my life, I felt like this is a blessing.
13:06
SPEAKER_00: But I feel like that I came into this world to experience as many things as possible so that I can hold space and help as many people as possible.
13:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
13:15
SPEAKER_00: Unless you've been through something, you can't actually stay with somebody in that space.
13:21
SPEAKER_00: You can hold space for them, but you aren't truly in a space of full understanding of where they're at.
13:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
13:29
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
13:29
SPEAKER_01: In the future, I will be sharing some of my own financial journey.
13:33
SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna be honest, when you talked me through a lot of it, you had been through, I would argue, a hundred times worse what I experienced.
13:40
SPEAKER_01: It was like a drop in the bucket for you to hold space for that.
13:43
SPEAKER_01: You know, I'm sure, yes, your friend going through a hard time wasn't great.
13:46
SPEAKER_01: But when it comes to like, oh, that's the situation, this is the route out.
13:50
SPEAKER_01: You got this.
13:50
SPEAKER_00: To elaborate on that a little bit, you asked for a difficult situation that, you know, I had to hold space through and for myself and learn from.
13:58
SPEAKER_00: My tech company that I had, clean tech company, it failed pretty miserably.
14:04
SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of reasons for that.
14:06
SPEAKER_00: Some was not the right business partners, some was, again, my own culpability, my own not handling things in the way that I should have, both as a leader and also around finances.
14:17
SPEAKER_00: But the business failed and I lost over$2 million.
14:20
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
14:21
SPEAKER_00: Can we walk through that experience?
14:24
SPEAKER_01: I think I want to start from the we have an idea to you live in Indianapolis.
14:30
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's a big change.
14:32
SPEAKER_00: Uh so when we started the tech company, we actually started a technology incubator to try to come up with an idea that we wanted.
14:42
SPEAKER_00: And we ended up coming up with an idea out of about half a dozen that both we came up with and people brought to us.
14:50
SPEAKER_00: And when we started, I was the sole investor and we had other investors come on later on, but I still the entire time I was a sole investor.
14:58
SPEAKER_00: And it was kind of great at first, but also I was not good at setting my boundaries.
15:06
SPEAKER_00: My two business partners were men that I was already friends with, and one of them is rather narcissistic.
15:13
SPEAKER_00: I did not do a good job of setting boundaries from the start because I wanted to please them.
15:20
SPEAKER_00: They were friends and they were men.
15:22
SPEAKER_00: And as women, we are taught to please men in the way we look, in the way we act, in the way we talk.
15:30
SPEAKER_00: And it is very uncomfortable and difficult.
15:34
SPEAKER_00: And I was raised with a lot of autonomy.
15:36
SPEAKER_00: My dad taught me to change tires and oil, and they let me go out on my horse in the middle of the woods by myself camping for three days.
15:44
SPEAKER_00: Like I had a lot of autonomy.
15:47
SPEAKER_00: And still, society tells women to be nice, yeah, to make men feel good, to smile, to smile.
15:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and uh that's exactly what I did to the point that out of the three of us uh co-founders, I was uh the logical choice for CEO.
16:06
SPEAKER_00: And I even allowed the narcissistic one to convince me that he needed to be CEO because I'd already owned 11 companies at that point.
16:16
SPEAKER_00: Right, right.
16:17
SPEAKER_00: You had the resume.
16:18
SPEAKER_00: Yep, I knew better.
16:19
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I allowed it to happen.
16:21
SPEAKER_00: And that is something that we need to be kind with ourselves about, right?
16:25
SPEAKER_00: Instead of beating ourselves up and feeling guilt and shame about these mistakes that we make, if we can go into them with curiosity and yes, feel the grief and the sadness and all of the mourning that comes with making these mistakes, because it is mourning that happens.
16:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
16:44
SPEAKER_00: But take a deep breath and learn from them and move on.
16:48
SPEAKER_00: We can look at ourselves in the mirror in full honesty and in full love.
16:55
SPEAKER_00: Those two are not mutually exclusive.
16:59
SPEAKER_00: To be able to look at ourselves with curiosity and honesty is deep and profound self-love.
17:06
SPEAKER_01: I'm curious because I I currently am reflecting a lot about my own invest, invest, invest, push, push, push, you know, give a lot of power away, give a lot of.
17:16
SPEAKER_01: I like the phrase you used autonomy, like a lot of being the one writing and signing the checks, but then not actually holding boundaries around what that means and what the expectations are with that.
17:25
SPEAKER_01: And again, that goes to my own culpability, right?
17:27
SPEAKER_01: But as I'm reflecting on that, I'm like thinking about the times when things, I thought things were good.
17:33
SPEAKER_01: And I didn't know why they didn't feel good, but I was like mentally telling myself that they were good.
17:39
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
17:40
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I imagine you had a similar experience.
17:42
SPEAKER_01: 100%.
17:43
SPEAKER_01: And when did you realize, oh no, things are not good?
17:47
SPEAKER_01: You know, because it's almost like it's that that story about like a frog in water and you turn on the boil.
17:52
SPEAKER_01: It took a mentor coming to me.
17:55
SPEAKER_00: I'm looking in a mirror.
17:56
SPEAKER_00: I two things happened at that time because I was already feeling it, but I was not allowing myself to go there.
18:03
SPEAKER_01: You're in like hustle make it work mode to go back to like being digestible and doing things perfectly as a woman.
18:12
SPEAKER_01: You're just like, no, we can make it work.
18:14
SPEAKER_01: We can we can push through, we can, we can make it work.
18:17
SPEAKER_00: Yes, even when these two individuals would do things that were terribly painful personally and professionally.
18:25
SPEAKER_00: And I just like you said, I smiled, I made things easy and I made it work.
18:29
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
18:30
SPEAKER_00: However, this mentor, also an investor, sat me down and was like, first of all, you need to be CEO.
18:36
SPEAKER_00: And if you're not, I'm not gonna put in more money.
18:41
SPEAKER_00: And secondly, he was like, You need to set better boundaries with co-owners.
18:48
SPEAKER_00: He was like, You are intelligent, you are capable, you have the resume, you have the knowledge that they don't have.
18:56
SPEAKER_00: You need to stand up for yourself and you need to set good boundaries because right now you're not, and it is going to kill your company.
19:02
SPEAKER_01: What was your reaction in that moment?
19:05
SPEAKER_00: I cried.
19:06
SPEAKER_00: I was so relieved I cried.
19:08
SPEAKER_00: I was so relieved I cried.
19:11
SPEAKER_01: And then what happened?
19:13
SPEAKER_00: And then I had the very difficult discussion, and the co-owner took six weeks before he would actually give up the title of CEO.
19:24
SPEAKER_01: Wow, which I mean, also in tech time, six weeks is forever.
19:28
SPEAKER_01: Insane amount of time, yeah.
19:30
SPEAKER_00: So this mentor talked with him, and he did.
19:33
SPEAKER_00: He took almost six weeks and talked to everybody he knew.
19:36
SPEAKER_00: He had a stress.
19:37
SPEAKER_01: So your mentor talked to him, yeah.
19:39
SPEAKER_00: And then he still proceeded to take six.
19:42
SPEAKER_01: It was it was horrid.
19:43
SPEAKER_01: Did you question yourself during those six weeks?
19:46
SPEAKER_01: Did you or how did you kind of stand in that time?
19:49
SPEAKER_01: Actually, I didn't.
19:51
SPEAKER_00: I love that when my mentor brought it up to me.
19:54
SPEAKER_00: I was like, I know.
19:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because we were starting to go into big investor meetings, and that's why he was like, You have to be CEO now, because you need to be the one presenting, you have the financial knowledge, you have the investment knowledge, you have the business knowledge, you know how to run a company, and he does not.
20:12
SPEAKER_00: That's why it came up, and as soon as he said it, like it just resonated in my bones.
20:17
SPEAKER_00: I knew that he was right.
20:20
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
20:20
SPEAKER_00: On both fronts, it was very painful.
20:23
SPEAKER_00: I cried a lot during those six weeks.
20:25
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and ultimately, I think it led a lot to our businesses' demise because as I was going through the funding process, and the funding process, especially for for large amounts, is brutal, especially for a woman.
20:40
SPEAKER_00: The the things that I heard in investor meetings, things like, why are you here instead of your husband?
20:48
SPEAKER_00: This was only 10 years ago.
20:50
SPEAKER_00: This is only 2015.
20:51
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that was not that long ago.
20:53
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but it was such a toxic environment, especially as a woman.
20:58
SPEAKER_00: It is for everybody, especially the tech funding environment is so toxic.
21:03
SPEAKER_00: And the dearth of funding that goes to female-owned and minority-owned businesses is criminal.
21:12
SPEAKER_00: It hurts our economy, it hurts our innovation.
21:16
SPEAKER_00: We have so many brilliant people that look different and that have different realities of their lived experience.
21:24
SPEAKER_00: And that it has been proven, it has been proven by data that that actually makes companies stronger and more resilient over time.
21:34
SPEAKER_00: Tech is still such a bro world, but anyway, going into this horrific thing that is funding that takes forever and is brutally time consuming, along with everything else you're doing running the company.
21:47
SPEAKER_00: I didn't ever feel like I could go to either of my co owners and talk to them about it.
21:54
SPEAKER_00: They had gotten together and said, no, the other one should be CEO instead of.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: Me.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: And so I did not have any kind of emotional trust or honestly business trust or intellectual trust with them.
22:08
SPEAKER_00: That had been destroyed.
22:09
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
22:10
SPEAKER_01: And that's the foundation, right?
22:11
SPEAKER_01: This is the leadership team.
22:12
SPEAKER_01: If there's no trust, it doesn't work organizationally.
22:16
SPEAKER_00: So when I was running into problems in funding, I did not have anyone to go talk to other than our attorney.
22:25
SPEAKER_00: I could talk to him, but he was also an investor.
22:27
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
22:28
SPEAKER_00: I felt like there was only so much emotionally I could share with him.
22:31
SPEAKER_00: Right.
22:32
SPEAKER_00: I literally did not have anybody.
22:34
SPEAKER_00: I had a handful of other female tech CEOs, but we were all so busy.
22:39
SPEAKER_00: It's not like we talked very often.
22:41
SPEAKER_01: You're not doing like cute little coffees on the weekend.
22:43
SPEAKER_01: And yeah, that's just not.
22:44
SPEAKER_00: No, no, no, no.
22:45
SPEAKER_00: It was one of the most depressing and hardest times of my entire life.
22:49
SPEAKER_00: And my marriage was failing, and everything was going very, very badly.
22:55
SPEAKER_00: And it was depressing.
22:56
SPEAKER_00: And I did not have a local community.
23:00
SPEAKER_00: One of the benefits of physical local community versus a work community is you can go to them and just cry on their shoulder.
23:09
SPEAKER_00: Like, even don't get what's going on.
23:12
SPEAKER_00: If they're the right friends, like I could have come to you in that time, even though you had never raised money like that.
23:17
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
23:18
SPEAKER_00: I could have cried on your shoulder and you would have been there for me, even if you didn't understand everything that I was upset about.
23:25
SPEAKER_02: 100%.
23:26
SPEAKER_00: Where I was living in LA, I didn't have that.
23:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
23:29
SPEAKER_00: And I was going back and forth between LA and San Francisco and China.
23:33
SPEAKER_00: And like that was the hardest professional thing I've ever been through.
23:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
23:38
SPEAKER_00: It was lonely, it was demoralizing.
23:41
SPEAKER_00: As a woman, as a human, it was denigrating.
23:46
SPEAKER_00: It was truly a horrendous experience.
23:49
SPEAKER_00: So when I have clients now that are raising capital, which we all do, I strive to help them do it in a different way.
23:58
SPEAKER_00: Actually have the emotional and psychological support that is necessary.
24:03
SPEAKER_00: Go through it successfully.
24:05
SPEAKER_01: Can you give me a little bit of a timeline?
24:07
SPEAKER_01: So this is you're in the thick of it.
24:10
SPEAKER_01: When around what time was that?
24:12
SPEAKER_00: So I was actively seeking funding from the beginning of 2016 through 2019 when we finally shut down the company, the end of 2019, like right before COVID hit.
24:24
SPEAKER_01: What was like the final nail in the coffin decision, straw that broke the camel's back on that?
24:29
SPEAKER_00: How did that decision come to be?
24:30
SPEAKER_00: We had no money anymore.
24:32
SPEAKER_00: And I wasn't putting in any more of mine because I didn't have it.
24:36
SPEAKER_01: Right.
24:36
SPEAKER_01: And I asked this with a very similar experience in my background.
24:40
SPEAKER_01: Yep.
24:41
SPEAKER_01: But I think that's an important thing to call out though, Kimberly, because ultimately I think someone who goes through your situation, who goes through, you know, like I said, mine was not as extreme.
24:50
SPEAKER_01: There wasn't fundraising, but there was a lot of a lot of layers.
24:53
SPEAKER_01: We technically had the autonomy the whole time to make the call.
24:57
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
24:57
SPEAKER_01: So can you speak to that?
24:58
SPEAKER_01: You're talking about 2016 to 2019.
25:00
SPEAKER_01: That's a lot of your life.
25:02
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
25:03
SPEAKER_01: And I didn't actually until this moment realize that it was about four years of your life.
25:08
SPEAKER_01: That's a lot of time.
25:09
SPEAKER_01: I don't think anybody ever needs to go back and change, you know, their experience.
25:12
SPEAKER_01: No.
25:13
SPEAKER_01: But when you speak to people and they're maybe going through a similar thing, it's not about when the money runs out.
25:18
SPEAKER_01: I think you have some wonderful thoughts that I would love to hear.
25:20
SPEAKER_00: So a few things.
25:21
SPEAKER_00: First of all, don't delude yourself to your runway.
25:25
SPEAKER_00: It is so easy to have magical thinking and go, oh, well, maybe this will happen and maybe this will happen.
25:31
SPEAKER_00: And if I cut back here a little bit, I can I can eke out another three or four months and we'll have something come in by then.
25:38
SPEAKER_00: How many times have we told ourselves that story?
25:41
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
25:41
SPEAKER_00: And if data is not there to back it up, it's not true.
25:45
SPEAKER_01: I think people experience that with like personal debt too, right?
25:48
SPEAKER_01: You're borrowing from the future kind of thing.
25:50
SPEAKER_01: And I think in business we do that, at least my experience is like, okay, well, if I can just get the cash flow forward a little bit, then we'll fill it in later.
25:58
SPEAKER_01: When you're in this like panic, you're not magnetic at all.
26:03
SPEAKER_01: You're not going to fill it in.
26:04
SPEAKER_01: That's not attractive to anyone.
26:06
SPEAKER_01: And then you're just pulling your problems forward.
26:08
SPEAKER_01: Businesses all the time, they do different deals and then they find, oh, I'm just moving the cash flow to a different spot and I'm getting less of it.
26:14
SPEAKER_01: Or, you know, oh, I'm just taking out a loan, or oh, or I'm just, you know, putting in my own personal.
26:19
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
26:19
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yes.
26:20
SPEAKER_00: And also I make very clear that if you are putting in your own personal money or even your own personal time, you need to have very, very, very clear backstops and very clear boundaries around that.
26:35
SPEAKER_00: I cannot tell you how many times I blew through my promises to myself of once I put in another$100,000, once I put in another$200,000, and I blew past them because I wanted to impress people.
26:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
26:50
SPEAKER_01: It's kind of an addictive mind.
26:52
SPEAKER_00: It absolutely is.
26:53
SPEAKER_01: Because you're just like, just a little more, just a little more, just a little more.
26:56
SPEAKER_00: And it's it is no different than gambling.
26:58
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, honestly.
26:59
SPEAKER_00: I mean, granted, it's informed gambling, and our product should have worked.
27:04
SPEAKER_00: And if we'd had a more cohesive and better team, I think it would have.
27:09
SPEAKER_02: Right, right.
27:09
SPEAKER_00: The product itself was good.
27:11
SPEAKER_00: Like Google was interested in it.
27:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
27:13
SPEAKER_00: So that's okay.
27:15
SPEAKER_00: I learned that setting clear boundaries, clear backstops, and being painfully wide-eyed about what's going on in your finances, whether it be like you said, personal or business.
27:31
SPEAKER_01: And wide-eyed about the people around you.
27:33
SPEAKER_01: That's something I'm currently working on that muscle.
27:36
SPEAKER_01: And thankfully, you know, I've got a life partner who is good about helping me step back and be like, okay, yes, love that we really trust people, but let's talk about all these red flags, Kayla.
27:48
SPEAKER_01: Like, and this is about so many situations for me.
27:52
SPEAKER_01: There's no one specific, I will make excuses because I just want to believe the best in people.
27:58
SPEAKER_01: And so to go back to what you were saying, being wide-eyed about your finances, I would also say being wide-eyed about who's around you, about what situations are and are not working.
28:07
SPEAKER_01: And that doesn't even have to do with finances sometimes.
28:09
SPEAKER_01: I mean, finances is definitely a big part of it.
28:11
SPEAKER_01: You could have had someone come in and just keep pouring money, and the the dynamics of the humans and the team were not there.
28:17
SPEAKER_00: No, they were not.
28:18
SPEAKER_00: And they weren't going to get there.
28:20
SPEAKER_00: You have to have your eyes wide open about who are around you and pay attention to your intuition with people.
28:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
28:27
SPEAKER_00: You can believe the best about people and still choose to not be around them.
28:32
SPEAKER_01: I want to go into kind of the reconstruction of your life from that point of like the money ran out.
28:39
SPEAKER_01: But I know that there were a few more things that happened in your life.
28:42
SPEAKER_01: So maybe if you could touch on those lightly and then we could talk about reconstruction.
28:46
SPEAKER_01: Like I want to be like, let's talk about reconstruction.
28:48
SPEAKER_01: You're like, we weren't rebuilding yet, Caitlin.
28:50
SPEAKER_00: No, the money ran out.
28:52
SPEAKER_00: My marriage ended, all of that happened at the same time.
28:55
SPEAKER_00: Glorious.
28:56
SPEAKER_00: And then, of course, we all know what happened the beginning of 2020.
29:00
SPEAKER_00: COVID hit, and I got COVID at the very beginning.
29:04
SPEAKER_00: Like in the early days when you couldn't get tests and nobody knew what it totally was.
29:10
SPEAKER_00: For two weeks, it was the sickest I have ever been in my life.
29:14
SPEAKER_00: Like it felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest.
29:17
SPEAKER_00: I couldn't breathe.
29:18
SPEAKER_00: It was terrifying and horrible.
29:21
SPEAKER_00: And all of a sudden, I was living by myself because my marriage had ended.
29:26
SPEAKER_00: And then I got long COVID after I got over the two weeks of being sick.
29:31
SPEAKER_00: About a week, week and a half later, I started feeling weird again.
29:34
SPEAKER_00: Thankfully, one of my best friends from high school who lives in the UK was having the same experience.
29:39
SPEAKER_00: And because we talk pretty regularly, we talked about it.
29:43
SPEAKER_00: But long COVID is awful.
29:45
SPEAKER_00: And I had heart lung brain damage.
29:48
SPEAKER_00: And I was living in LA with$5,000 a month rent that all of a sudden I was paying for by myself because my ex-husband had moved out.
29:55
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
29:56
SPEAKER_00: And I couldn't work.
29:57
SPEAKER_00: I realized very quickly that I would have a meeting and then couldn't remember that I'd had the meeting.
30:04
SPEAKER_00: So I literally have probably a dozen notebooks that I wrote everything down in over the three years.
30:12
SPEAKER_00: It's fascinating to read them now.
30:14
SPEAKER_01: Just for clarity, the memory loss was with long COVID.
30:17
SPEAKER_00: Correct.
30:18
SPEAKER_00: And thankfully, I had really good doctors and therapists on all fronts that helped me to regain cognition and heart function and lung function.
30:28
SPEAKER_00: And I am deeply, deeply grateful for incredible medical care.
30:33
SPEAKER_00: Because I I did almost die a couple times.
30:36
SPEAKER_01: I needed you two to three years later.
30:38
SPEAKER_00: So I'm glad you didn't.
30:39
SPEAKER_00: I didn't too.
30:41
SPEAKER_00: So couldn't afford living in LA, didn't have community.
30:44
SPEAKER_00: I went for a year without touching another human being.
30:48
SPEAKER_00: You know how social I am.
30:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and also just humans need the five positive touches a day.
30:54
SPEAKER_00: Thankfully, I had my cats.
30:55
SPEAKER_00: They literally saved my life.
30:57
SPEAKER_00: But when I moved to Indy, one of my uh roommates from college and her wife live here.
31:01
SPEAKER_00: And so I put everything in storage.
31:04
SPEAKER_00: They had an Airbnb that I could rent and see what I thought of it.
31:10
SPEAKER_00: I ended up buying a house here because I could afford to buy a house here and I couldn't in LA.
31:15
SPEAKER_00: And just lucked into this amazing community.
31:21
SPEAKER_00: You know, I feel very, very blessed that I landed in this neighborhood.
31:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
31:25
SPEAKER_00: And I've at least for the foreseeable future, made my home here.
31:30
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
31:30
SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm certainly putting enough effort into this house.
31:34
unknown: I know.
31:37
SPEAKER_01: Hey y'all.
31:38
SPEAKER_01: You know I love telling stories, gathering stories, and finding a way to help people connect their story with the people that will get it.
31:47
SPEAKER_01: And that's what my story strategy sessions are all about.
31:49
SPEAKER_01: So over at Calhoun Creative Consulting, my strategic storytelling firm, we do one-on-one and or facilitated workshops in relation to really honing in the strategy around your story.
32:02
SPEAKER_01: It's a bit of messaging meets content creation, meets storytelling, and then how do we put that out in the world?
32:08
SPEAKER_01: How do we show up regularly?
32:09
SPEAKER_01: There's a bit of mindset work around it, right?
32:10
SPEAKER_01: To actually tell your story.
32:12
SPEAKER_01: Whether you're launching something new or trying to rework your brand or just feeling a little foggy on how to communicate with your people, this is how to get clear.
32:19
SPEAKER_01: We'll dig into things like your narrative, how to uncover what matters most, maybe map out a few content pillars while we're at it.
32:25
SPEAKER_01: You'll also get a recording of our session so you can revisit the conversation anytime you like.
32:29
SPEAKER_01: Let's shape a story that actually feels like you.
32:31
SPEAKER_01: So book yours today.
32:33
SPEAKER_01: There is a link in the show notes.
32:34
SPEAKER_01: And hey, while you're at it, use the code podcast, all caps, podcast for 25% off your session.
32:42
SPEAKER_01: I would be honored to spend time with you and suss out your story.
32:46
SPEAKER_01: Let's dive back into the episode, shall we?
32:50
SPEAKER_01: That all happened, you know, your body defenses were down, and then you end up finding yourself in a cozy neighborhood.
32:57
SPEAKER_01: And and what what do things look like now?
32:59
SPEAKER_00: So I've spent the last year and a half, I guess almost two years, rebuilding my consulting business.
33:05
SPEAKER_00: And it's been slow.
33:07
SPEAKER_00: Like for about a year and a half, it felt like I was I was applying for other jobs.
33:12
SPEAKER_01: That's something very tricky I have found as well.
33:15
SPEAKER_01: And I think a lot of entrepreneurs' experience.
33:18
SPEAKER_01: You know how to hunt and kill your own food.
33:20
SPEAKER_01: It's like what if it's like a wild cat versus a domestic cat, right?
33:24
SPEAKER_01: And you're like, please let me in your house.
33:26
SPEAKER_01: And then you like don't have house cat energy, and people are like, What?
33:31
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
33:31
SPEAKER_01: I I would love to hear your take on that, even with all these companies.
33:35
SPEAKER_01: I know you've done the like, you're opening the LinkedIn, you're looking at what's available kind of thing, or you're hitting up your network.
33:41
SPEAKER_01: Can you give our CEOs and our entrepreneurs a pep talk?
33:44
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
33:45
SPEAKER_00: And I think you hit it right on the head with this.
33:48
SPEAKER_00: I can almost guarantee you, almost every entrepreneur that I know has done this at some point, probably quite a few times.
33:55
SPEAKER_00: So you're like, oh damn, I just want to get a job.
33:57
SPEAKER_00: Can somebody just pay me what I'm worth?
33:59
SPEAKER_00: I keep being like, can someone take care of me?
34:01
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
34:02
SPEAKER_00: Can you please?
34:03
SPEAKER_00: And like you said, part of this entrepreneur mind, for better or worse, is I can, you know, hunt and kill my own food.
34:12
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
34:14
SPEAKER_00: Even if times are really, really lean, there is always a part of your brain going, but I know I can still do this.
34:22
SPEAKER_00: I'm just one day away.
34:23
SPEAKER_00: And again, it's part of that magical thinking, right?
34:26
SPEAKER_00: Which is great and also not always realistic.
34:31
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
34:31
SPEAKER_00: And for about a year and a half, that's what it felt like.
34:34
SPEAKER_00: Like I have deep and wide networks all over the world, right?
34:37
SPEAKER_00: But also we were still at the end of a global pandemic.
34:41
SPEAKER_00: A lot of people were being very, very cautious with their money.
34:44
SPEAKER_00: You know, I was still healing, like my belief back in myself, my energy levels back.
34:49
SPEAKER_00: But slowly, you know, I kind of did the work for a year and a half and and trusted and you know, interviewed for jobs in the meantime.
34:57
SPEAKER_00: And and over the last six months, business has just been like flowing in very like all of the work that I did for the last year and a half is finally paying off.
35:08
SPEAKER_00: Thankfully, it started flowing in and customers started coming, but it was it was not easy.
35:13
SPEAKER_00: It was not easy.
35:14
SPEAKER_00: And again, I'm sure some of the reason why it wasn't easy is because I wasn't quite to the point that I believed in my own capabilities again yet.
35:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
35:22
SPEAKER_01: It's the recovering too.
35:24
SPEAKER_01: I mean, that was it was many a experience of being kind of like worn down to then recover from all those like external doubting turned to internal doubting, which I feel like most of us have a little bit of that.
35:35
SPEAKER_01: And if it's being supported by external voices, then it's just absolutely horrific.
35:40
SPEAKER_01: Like you said, it was a horrendous experience.
35:42
SPEAKER_00: It is.
35:42
SPEAKER_00: And it was 10 years of really, really difficult emotional and financial things that happened, you know.
35:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
35:49
SPEAKER_00: It was also one of my best teachers.
35:52
SPEAKER_00: Now that I'm on the other side of it, I look at all of these kind of learning experiences like a spiral, right?
35:58
SPEAKER_00: You yeah you might be clarifying them or whatever, but you come around to it again and you have more meat on that bone, right?
36:06
SPEAKER_00: And you and you learn more and you're curious in more ways and in different ways.
36:11
SPEAKER_00: And so is it over?
36:14
SPEAKER_00: Probably not.
36:15
SPEAKER_00: I still have more lessons to learn from everything I've gone through.
36:18
SPEAKER_00: I'm quite sure.
36:20
SPEAKER_00: But I feel like I've finally come through it enough to stand on my feet again, which I wasn't for three years, you know.
36:31
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
36:32
SPEAKER_01: I think often when people share stories about hardship and then feeling like they're back at it, is we don't recognize it's cycles, it's evolution.
36:42
SPEAKER_01: It's not like, oh, I wasn't doing well and now I'm doing great.
36:44
SPEAKER_01: You know, and I think sometimes when people share these stories, they forget it's a human experience, it's complicated, it's got lots of layers.
36:52
SPEAKER_01: You're always kind of reprocessing it, but like with more healing over time.
36:56
SPEAKER_01: So it just keeps developing, growing, making you stronger.
37:00
SPEAKER_00: And the same thing can be said for any experience we go through, especially traumatic experiences, right?
37:06
SPEAKER_00: Whether it be the death of a loved one or the death of a business or the death of a marriage, they're all things that need to be deeply grieved.
37:15
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
37:16
SPEAKER_00: For us to be able to learn from them, really embody them, bring them into who we are.
37:22
SPEAKER_00: So again, that we can actually sit and hold space with other people in our community and those deeper connections.
37:30
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
37:30
SPEAKER_01: And giving ourselves space too.
37:32
SPEAKER_01: That kind of popped into my mind as well.
37:33
SPEAKER_01: Giving yourself space away from a thing.
37:35
SPEAKER_01: Because there's definitely a narrative of like self-improvement that is very like keep improving, keep getting better.
37:41
SPEAKER_01: But it's like sometimes part of that is stepping away from it, giving it some time and getting back to it.
37:45
SPEAKER_01: And and some of that is, like you said, in community.
37:47
SPEAKER_00: I'm glad you brought that up.
37:48
SPEAKER_00: There's so much in the self-help community that is really toxic to healing.
37:56
SPEAKER_00: Like the whole, you got this, keep on going.
38:01
SPEAKER_00: No.
38:01
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
38:02
SPEAKER_00: And some days you need to lie on the sofa with a cat on your lap and a TV show on and have a glass of wine because that is the only damn thing that feels good in that moment.
38:13
SPEAKER_00: This this idea, you know, there's so many ways that it's put.
38:18
SPEAKER_00: But if you have a good attitude, good things will happen to you.
38:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
38:23
SPEAKER_00: What a load of crap.
38:26
SPEAKER_00: A good attitude is great.
38:28
SPEAKER_00: But so is a realistic one.
38:30
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
38:31
SPEAKER_01: And what it does is it puts the blame on the person experiencing difficult situations.
38:37
SPEAKER_01: My own experiences.
38:38
SPEAKER_01: It was a general overinvestment.
38:40
SPEAKER_01: And a lot of those overinvestments were like investing in too many learning experiences in short amount of times.
38:47
SPEAKER_01: Cause I'm like, oh my gosh, yes, I want to get better at marketing.
38:50
SPEAKER_01: I want to get better at sales.
38:52
SPEAKER_01: I want to get better at branding.
38:53
SPEAKER_01: But it's like, I want to get better at all this stuff.
38:55
SPEAKER_01: So I should invest in it all at the same time.
38:57
SPEAKER_01: Right.
38:57
SPEAKER_01: But it's like you have to like learn them, implement them, like experiment with them, tailor them to you.
39:02
SPEAKER_01: A lot of like the you know, self-help business growth stuff is very like you, this is the one way to do it and the only way to do it.
39:08
SPEAKER_01: And and it does not really preach self-trust because self-trust doesn't sell courses, if you, you know, like no, and honestly, and you've experienced this.
39:18
SPEAKER_00: Most of the work I do with my clients, and of course, we look at business plans and we evaluate everything from financials to their manufacturing timeline.
39:30
SPEAKER_00: We we look at all of that, right?
39:32
SPEAKER_00: We evaluate that, of course.
39:34
SPEAKER_00: But honestly, especially with leaders, the majority of the work that I do is helping them to find the answers that they on some level already know and holding them in space to where they can trust that for themselves.
39:51
SPEAKER_00: And I do a lot of it through, I have many methodologies I'm trained in and ones that I've created myself as well, but most of them are question-based.
40:01
SPEAKER_00: They're curiosity-based.
40:03
SPEAKER_01: Which goes right back to that philosophy.
40:05
SPEAKER_01: I love that.
40:06
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
40:07
SPEAKER_01: I do want to speak to what you were just describing.
40:10
SPEAKER_01: We've done a few sessions together, and some of the harder sessions are when you're kind of holding up a mirror to me and being like, Do you really need to be spending this much on this particular investment?
40:20
SPEAKER_01: Because it was me just essentially like outsourcing trust.
40:23
SPEAKER_01: And it was towards the tail end of me outsourcing trust, right?
40:25
SPEAKER_01: But it was kind of one of those final like hanging around investments, if you will, that was like, Do you really need to be spending this much on this line item?
40:34
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, but I got rid of all the other things I was spending too much on.
40:37
SPEAKER_01: Or like, you know, I like I already have self-trust in all the other areas.
40:41
SPEAKER_01: Do we really have to like comb?
40:43
SPEAKER_01: And it's like, you do.
40:44
SPEAKER_01: Yep.
40:44
SPEAKER_01: Yep.
40:45
SPEAKER_01: It was very painful.
40:46
SPEAKER_01: And I literally was like, we're gonna need to take a few weeks off, my friend.
40:49
SPEAKER_01: Because you have to sit with it.
40:50
SPEAKER_01: It's hard.
40:52
SPEAKER_00: Sit with it.
40:52
SPEAKER_00: I'll have new clients ask, well, how often do we meet?
40:55
SPEAKER_00: Do we meet every week?
40:56
SPEAKER_00: Do we meet?
40:56
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, well, at first, if there's something critical going on in the company, of course, for the first month we'll meet once so we can get them through the the critical space that they're in and get them on a clear path as far as the mech mechanisms of the business.
41:11
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
41:12
SPEAKER_00: But the leadership development part, I'm like, well, it kind of depends.
41:17
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
41:18
SPEAKER_00: You know, which is why I usually work.
41:20
SPEAKER_00: We have a a log and we go through and we meet when it's necessary because sometimes it's once a week.
41:26
SPEAKER_00: I've had some clients, it's been like three times a week when they're really going through it.
41:29
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
41:30
SPEAKER_00: Well, it's like, do we have a fire to put out?
41:32
SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
41:33
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes we see each other every two months.
41:36
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
41:36
SPEAKER_00: They're in a space that they're processing the work they've already done and they need to integrate.
41:42
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
41:43
SPEAKER_00: And that's okay.
41:44
SPEAKER_01: That was one thing I think I I don't even know if I necessarily heard it from you, but I experienced it with you, and it's something that I really didn't recognize until recently, mostly because I went too fast for a good chunk of time.
41:58
SPEAKER_01: But like the idea of it all is that, like, what are we rushing to?
42:02
SPEAKER_01: Like, what is the actual like, you know, there are some things that have deadlines, right?
42:06
SPEAKER_01: But I think it it can be so deadline intensive.
42:09
SPEAKER_01: We're building something that like isn't actually what we want sometimes, or we set certain like parameters.
42:15
SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, there was a while where I was hearing a lot of people were like, you can get to seven figures in three years.
42:20
SPEAKER_01: Easy.
42:20
SPEAKER_01: You can totally get to seven figures in three years.
42:22
SPEAKER_01: So I'm like, well, they said I could, so let's go, right?
42:25
SPEAKER_01: And it's like, what was I rushing towards?
42:27
SPEAKER_01: Why, why does that like?
42:28
SPEAKER_01: And then I completely like blew up my everything because I was trying to get to what I heard on somebody's podcast one time.
42:36
SPEAKER_00: I I it's funny, I just had that conversation with one of my clients the other day, and he was sharing, especially for men, the podcasts geared towards men are all about that you must provide for your family and seven figures in three years.
42:53
SPEAKER_00: He was very much in that mindset, and we had a really good conversation, and I think it kind of calmed things down a little bit of how much anxiety and how that was affecting him business and his other relationships.
43:07
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes people just need to know it's okay to not have this accelerated tech growth or timeline on it, right?
43:16
SPEAKER_00: Like and this idea, you must make all the money you can no matter what, all the time.
43:23
SPEAKER_00: Right.
43:23
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
43:24
SPEAKER_01: Well, and then to go to like we talked about, like trying to like bring payments or funds from clients into a quarter that you're in so that it looks better on paper.
43:34
SPEAKER_01: It's like, and it and then you're like you're pulling it back, and then you're basically borrowing from your future and the sustainability in the long term, and you're like, oh, well, we had these numbers, so we can we can and it's inflating things and like frankly, you're just effed.
43:47
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
43:47
SPEAKER_00: And not only financially, but emotionally and psychologically, right?
43:51
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
43:52
SPEAKER_00: Because you're always like chasing your tail almost.
43:54
SPEAKER_00: And that goes back to what you were talking about that you can make eight figures in three years.
44:00
SPEAKER_00: Same thing.
44:01
SPEAKER_00: It's this again, hyper-masculinized version of capitalism that extracts not only people's well-being, goods from the community, services from the community, but it also extracts people's peace of mind and enjoyment in their companies and what they're doing.
44:22
SPEAKER_01: Right.
44:23
SPEAKER_01: Like if we're doing it for ourselves, let's do it for ourselves.
44:25
SPEAKER_00: Of course, we want to make money.
44:27
SPEAKER_00: I have been relatively wealthy.
44:30
SPEAKER_00: I enjoy it.
44:30
SPEAKER_00: I plan to be there again.
44:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
44:32
SPEAKER_00: Because guess what?
44:34
SPEAKER_00: I enjoy it.
44:35
SPEAKER_00: And it makes it to where that I can help people that I love and travel the way I like to, but it's going to happen when it happens.
44:42
SPEAKER_00: And I'm not going to do it in a way that is extractive to my peace of mind and my peace of heart.
44:50
SPEAKER_01: Well, and I love that because I literally earlier today I was on my Pinterest, you know, and I do have this like pin of like a really cute, like first class flight that I'm like, ooh, that's gonna be fun, you know.
45:01
SPEAKER_01: But I'm thinking about your time when you're flying from LA to San Francisco to China.
45:05
SPEAKER_01: You know, you were on nice flights, but you were not doing so hot, you know?
45:10
SPEAKER_01: So it's like, it's like this is a cute picture, but at what cost, right?
45:14
SPEAKER_01: Like if I'm gonna do that, I'm gonna enjoy it.
45:16
SPEAKER_01: So how do we make sure that that happens?
45:17
SPEAKER_01: And then how do we enjoy?
45:18
SPEAKER_01: And that just goes into like daily gratitude and experience and not in a way that's like, well, just write in your gratitude journal and you'll be okay.
45:24
SPEAKER_01: It's like, no, like, how do you make sure that you appreciate abundance on every level of abundance?
45:30
SPEAKER_01: Not just like abundance for financial abundance, but like abundance for, you know, ooh, my favorite socks are clean today.
45:37
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna wear them.
45:37
SPEAKER_01: They're so cute, you know.
45:39
SPEAKER_00: I cleaned my disgusting back porch.
45:42
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
45:42
SPEAKER_00: You prioritized yourself.
45:44
SPEAKER_00: We love this.
45:45
SPEAKER_00: And I'm relearning this again.
45:47
SPEAKER_00: As I am more capable physically and emotionally and mentally from being so sick, I'm realizing some of the habits that I used to have that I lost during the time that I was sick because I was incapable.
46:01
SPEAKER_00: And so I'm I'm regaining those habits.
46:04
SPEAKER_00: And one of those is having my space tidy and organized is crucial for me to be grounded and happy.
46:17
SPEAKER_00: Granted, my house, because it's still a construction zone, always has a bit of chaos.
46:22
SPEAKER_00: And it's not like I have an austere home at all, as you know, it's an eclectic home.
46:28
SPEAKER_00: But I like things to be uh tidy, I like things to be in their place.
46:34
SPEAKER_00: It soothes my heart, it soothes my mind, and it soothes my soul, and it makes me able to show up for myself and other people in the way that I want to.
46:43
SPEAKER_00: And so I am reinitiating these habits.
46:46
SPEAKER_00: I know I'm not the only one in this, but going back and going, okay, I've done all of this in my past.
46:53
SPEAKER_00: Whatever amazing experience in your life.
46:55
SPEAKER_00: Why can't I do that now?
46:57
SPEAKER_00: And looking back and starting to break down what those patterns were because they're habits, yeah, and reinitiating them again slowly and lovingly, like cleaning that back porch today.
47:11
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that was a gift to myself.
47:13
SPEAKER_00: I needed to be on my computer and do stuff.
47:16
SPEAKER_00: That's okay.
47:16
SPEAKER_00: I'll wake up extra early tomorrow morning.
47:19
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I got that done.
47:20
SPEAKER_00: And it feels good about it.
47:21
SPEAKER_00: I'm so proud of myself.
47:23
SPEAKER_00: And again, it's something I've put off for six months.
47:26
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
47:26
SPEAKER_00: And I got it done.
47:27
SPEAKER_01: It's a self-care, it's a like feeling good, it's a beautiful thing.
47:31
SPEAKER_00: Self-love and self-care is the little daily things.
47:35
SPEAKER_00: It's doing something that's difficult but feels really good at the end.
47:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
47:40
SPEAKER_00: It's being curious, it's teaching yourself something new.
47:44
SPEAKER_00: It's reading a book that you wouldn't normally read or talking to somebody that you wouldn't normally talk to.
47:49
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
47:50
SPEAKER_00: Because that not only grows your soul, it literally creates new cognitive patterns in our brain.
47:58
SPEAKER_00: And so it allows us to be more full and capable human beings.
48:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
48:02
SPEAKER_01: Well, even, you know, our vet encouraged us to take our dog to new neighborhoods, right?
48:07
SPEAKER_01: So he could smell different things because it's good for his brain health.
48:10
SPEAKER_01: You know, same thing.
48:11
SPEAKER_01: It's like talking to someone you've never talked to, you know, going somewhere you've never been, trying new things, caring for yourself in ways you need to be cared for.
48:19
SPEAKER_01: I love, love, love it.
48:20
SPEAKER_01: Where can people find you, my dear dear friend?
48:24
SPEAKER_00: So they can go to KimberlyHudson.com.
48:27
SPEAKER_00: It's Kimberly with an IHudson.com.
48:30
SPEAKER_00: Uh, you can reach out to me at Kimberly at KimberlyHudson.com.
48:34
SPEAKER_00: Also, I'm in the process of launching two new things.
48:38
SPEAKER_00: One is this support group and community coaching group that I'll be launching next year.
48:46
SPEAKER_00: If you want more information on that, please reach out to me, let me know.
48:50
SPEAKER_00: The other one is I'm relaunching pre-pandemic pre-illness.
48:55
SPEAKER_00: I had put together a program on money and examining your thoughts on money, the people around you've thoughts on money, your church's thoughts on money, like all of these different pieces of information that you can gather and put together this code for yourself, this map for yourself around what your relationship with money is and how to be more cognizant of it and how to actually shift it over time.
49:24
SPEAKER_00: So I am relaunching that.
49:27
SPEAKER_00: Um, again, if you're interested, let me know.
49:30
SPEAKER_00: Shoot me an email.
49:31
SPEAKER_00: I should be launching that in the next week, week and a half or so.
49:34
SPEAKER_00: Wow, very cool.
49:36
SPEAKER_00: But yeah, life is good.
49:38
SPEAKER_00: You know, even when it sucks, we still wake up every day.
49:43
SPEAKER_00: And I know that sounds trite, but as somebody that almost didn't, it's not.
49:47
SPEAKER_01: It's more significant than I think we recognize sometimes.
49:51
SPEAKER_00: It is.
49:52
SPEAKER_00: And to be blessed with people like you, with friends like you in my life.
49:57
SPEAKER_00: Like I am so, so, so blessed.
50:03
SPEAKER_01: I'm happy and lucky to have you, Kimberly.
50:06
SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for having this conversation with me.
50:08
SPEAKER_01: I really appreciate it.
50:12
SPEAKER_01: Crafted Connections is lovingly produced by Calhoun Creative Consulting, a strategic storytelling firm dedicated to helping people and brands tell their stories in a way that resonates.
50:23
SPEAKER_01: If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe and connect with us on Instagram at Crafted Connections Pod.
50:30
SPEAKER_01: Keep creating, keep connecting, until we meet again.