Latest / Curiously Guided Podcast / Ep.74 | How to Harness the Power of Your Weaknesses, with Shay & Mariah

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Ep.74 | How to Harness the Power of Your Weaknesses, with Shay & Mariah · Curiously Guided Podcast

0:07
SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the Curiously Guided Podcast, the show for intentional business owners and curious minds looking to combine the inner work and outer work to create a life, business, and career that feels deeply fulfilling and wildly aligned on all levels.
0:20
SPEAKER_02: We're your hosts.
0:21
SPEAKER_02: I'm Shay.
0:23
SPEAKER_00: And I'm Mariah.
0:24
SPEAKER_00: We're two business strategists passionate about rewriting the rules to success in a way that combines both strategy and energetics.
0:34
SPEAKER_00: So this podcast started with both of us being in the online business world, craving more deep, meaningful, and transparent conversations.
0:42
SPEAKER_00: So we decided to come together and create a space to do just that.
0:47
SPEAKER_00: Our guest interviews highlight cool humans doing cool shit, chasing their dreams, and going down their own rabbit holes to create a more sustainable and fulfilling life in whatever way that means for them.
1:00
SPEAKER_02: We see this podcast as everything that people won't share on social media.
1:04
SPEAKER_02: We don't give a fuck about highlight reels or proven frameworks.
1:08
SPEAKER_02: We love getting in the weeds, asking the tough questions, and doing the work to create a life and career we love, all while committing to ourselves and our personal growth.
1:17
SPEAKER_02: Because only through that lens can we truly create a lifestyle that feels good from the inside out.
1:22
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Curiously Guided Podcast.
1:26
SPEAKER_00: Are you ready to trust the nudge and let curiosity guide the way?
1:30
SPEAKER_00: Because we're excited to shake shit up and live outside the box with you.
1:39
SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to the podcast, my friends.
1:42
SPEAKER_00: If this is your first episode, welcome.
1:45
SPEAKER_00: You are in for a true treat.
1:48
SPEAKER_00: If you are a longtime listener, what's up?
1:51
SPEAKER_00: Welcome back.
1:52
SPEAKER_00: We love having you guys.
1:54
SPEAKER_00: So this episode is an interesting one.
1:57
SPEAKER_00: We got the idea of it when I was interviewed for a podcast probably about four months ago now.
2:06
SPEAKER_00: And the idea that we were talking about on this podcast that I was being interviewed on was how to find your zone of genius.
2:13
SPEAKER_00: I could talk about that shit all day, right?
2:15
SPEAKER_00: Bringing in like we could bring up human design, we can bring in just like where you feel like you're in flow, like all of that stuff.
2:21
SPEAKER_00: And we actually have an episode on that.
2:23
SPEAKER_00: So if you haven't listened to that one, dive into how to find your zone of genius.
2:28
SPEAKER_00: We will also link to it in the show notes.
2:30
SPEAKER_00: But essentially, when I was interviewed on that, the person interviewing me gave me a curveball question that I was so unprepared for.
2:41
SPEAKER_00: And so I'm used to like not seeing the questions before the people ask me.
2:45
SPEAKER_00: But this lady was like, Well, what do you do about your weaknesses?
2:49
SPEAKER_00: Like, we're talking about your zone of genius.
2:51
SPEAKER_00: Like, what about your weaknesses?
2:54
SPEAKER_00: I am not stumped for words very often in my life.
3:00
SPEAKER_00: It took me a second.
3:01
SPEAKER_00: I don't even know what I said.
3:02
SPEAKER_00: That interview has since not been aired yet.
3:05
SPEAKER_00: It's gonna air sometime in 2024.
3:07
SPEAKER_00: So I haven't even listened to it.
3:08
SPEAKER_00: I have no idea what I said.
3:10
SPEAKER_00: But like my initial reaction, and it sounds like I felt weird even thinking this because it made me feel like I was like egotistical or something.
3:19
SPEAKER_00: But like my initial reaction when she asked that was like, I don't have any.
3:23
SPEAKER_00: And it's not that I don't think that I don't have any, it's that I just don't focus on them.
3:28
SPEAKER_00: So then I started spiraling about this.
3:30
SPEAKER_00: I was like, oh my God, I don't know shit.
3:32
SPEAKER_00: I don't know shit about shit.
3:33
SPEAKER_00: What about weaknesses?
3:35
SPEAKER_00: I'm egotistical.
3:36
SPEAKER_00: Like, what the fuck?
3:38
SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm not having a very well-rounded conversation with myself in my head.
3:42
SPEAKER_00: That was what came up for me.
3:43
SPEAKER_00: So me and Shay had a call maybe like two days later, and she was like, Oh, like what's been going on?
3:48
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, yo, I need space just to like verbalize this because like I'm beating myself up about this.
3:52
SPEAKER_00: And I told her what happened.
3:53
SPEAKER_00: And then Shay went on this beautiful, much-needed soapbox about handling our weaknesses and just like shifting perspectives of weaknesses.
4:04
SPEAKER_00: And so through that conversation, we were just like, you know what?
4:08
SPEAKER_00: Other people might like to hear us talk this out, might like to hear us and our perspective on weaknesses because it's not a perspective that a lot of people have.
4:20
SPEAKER_00: And so that's why we wanted to have this conversation today is to just kind of verbalize to rationalize.
4:26
SPEAKER_00: And as we've been talking about the this podcast episode, there's some new information that we want to bring in and kind of weave together.
4:34
SPEAKER_00: So we're excited to talk to y'all about this.
4:38
SPEAKER_00: Shay, where do you want to start?
4:40
SPEAKER_00: Do you remember the soapbox that you want on?
4:42
SPEAKER_00: Do you have a new soapbox?
4:43
SPEAKER_00: Like, where do we want to go?
4:45
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we were laughing before we hit record.
4:47
SPEAKER_02: I feel like I'm a new person every single day.
4:49
SPEAKER_02: So the soapbox will be a little different today, but that's the beauty of these podcast recordings.
4:54
SPEAKER_02: Um one thing that really struck me when Mariah brought up this topic was just I think even when we hear the word weakness, we initially, I at least have this reaction to it, like, oh, it's a bad thing and like um so negative.
5:10
SPEAKER_02: And I think a lot of us, especially, I know I've shared on the podcast a lot, you know, that struggle with kind of like inner monologue and thinking can get a little focused.
5:19
SPEAKER_02: I'm the opposite of Mariah in a lot of ways.
5:21
SPEAKER_02: I think I focus too much on my weaknesses and I can kind of let that be almost a limiting belief.
5:26
SPEAKER_02: And one piece of advice that I've heard consistently over and over is how powerful it is to have awareness around what your weaknesses are, but really more so not so you can focus on the weakness and not so that you can fix the weakness or slay the weakness or kill the weakness.
5:47
SPEAKER_02: It's more so that you can kind of empower yourself, set up systems that support you and your genius, right?
5:54
SPEAKER_02: So the whole idea here is how can you actually um be aware of perhaps the things that don't come as easily for you and then maybe hire those things out, maybe create systems around those things so you don't have to do them as much.
6:09
SPEAKER_02: Um, the whole idea for me with weaknesses is figure out where they are and then set up my life in a way that those things don't take up a lot of my bandwidth.
6:19
SPEAKER_02: And I can focus on the things that do take up a lot of bandwidth.
6:22
SPEAKER_02: But step one in that conversation is being able to identify your weaknesses.
6:27
SPEAKER_02: And like Mariah said, for most of us, it's hard when someone asks you straight, what's your weakness?
6:34
SPEAKER_02: You're like, what the hell?
6:36
SPEAKER_02: You know, it's not like something that I really, I don't think could name on a podcast episode and like talk about intelligently without having like spent some time reflecting on it.
6:46
SPEAKER_02: So I just think the idea of weakness is interesting.
6:48
SPEAKER_02: And I've really been interested in like, how can we use weakness as a tool, a self-awareness tool?
6:54
SPEAKER_02: Not for me, when I think weakness, I almost can immediately go into like a shame spiral.
6:59
SPEAKER_02: These are all the ways that I'm bad.
7:01
SPEAKER_02: And I think a lot of us that grew up maybe feeling like a square pig and a round hole, like I've shared.
7:06
SPEAKER_02: Um, when you start to talk about weakness, it can be a little triggering, right?
7:09
SPEAKER_02: It can bring up a lot of vulnerability, it can bring up a lot of feelings of I'm bad, this is how I'm not right, this is how I don't fit in.
7:17
SPEAKER_02: And really, I don't think that's the point of a weakness conversation.
7:20
SPEAKER_02: I really think when you can shine some light on your shadows and be honest about we're not not all of us, none of us are here perfectly to do everything perfect and have all the powers in the world.
7:32
SPEAKER_02: Like we're meant to have strengths and weaknesses.
7:34
SPEAKER_02: And those things in and of themselves aren't good or bad.
7:37
SPEAKER_02: It's just something we can have awareness around.
7:40
SPEAKER_02: So I think, you know, through this journey of doing the podcast with Mariah and all of the guests we've had on and the work that we've been doing on ourselves, I've really in the past year been focusing on shining light, bringing some light into those traditionally dark places in a way that's not connected to shaming myself, in a way that's not connected to putting myself down, but instead as a way to lift myself up even further, right?
8:06
SPEAKER_02: So um I think that weakness, I would love to just reframe the conversation around like how can we sh bring some awareness around what our weaknesses are, and then use that awareness as a tool, a piece of data that we can get to then take into our businesses, into our lives and kind of build around to set ourselves up for success.
8:26
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I feel like it's it's good for helping you make decisions.
8:31
SPEAKER_00: And like when you're aware of them, you can start using your weaknesses to push you forward versus hold you back because you can find the path of least resistance, which I think is really helpful.
8:44
SPEAKER_00: Like one of my, I feel like weaknesses, see, it's so funny because even when I say that, I'm like, nothing really comes to mind.
8:51
SPEAKER_00: But if then if I think about like, what's the shit that I don't like doing?
8:54
SPEAKER_00: Because I don't like doing things that I'm not good at.
8:57
SPEAKER_00: And so I guess the example that comes in is like working super long term with clients, it's not something that I like.
9:07
SPEAKER_00: Like if I was in an agency model, like a typical SEO agency, and like let's say I had to sign somebody on a 12-month retainer, done for you work.
9:16
SPEAKER_00: It sounds awful to me.
9:19
SPEAKER_00: And so, like working in that capacity with somebody could be seen as a weakness of mine because I don't want to do it.
9:25
SPEAKER_00: So I'm not gonna show up and give my best.
9:28
SPEAKER_00: And that awareness allows me to create a business model and to create packages and offerings that don't focus on that.
9:39
SPEAKER_00: That's why my business model is set up the way that it is, and it's not set up the traditional agency model because I don't want that.
9:47
SPEAKER_00: It's the same thing with like managing team members and having team members and then me being like the head of an agency.
9:53
SPEAKER_00: Like, this is just one example I'm I'm thinking of in terms of business, but like I didn't get in business to manage people.
9:59
SPEAKER_00: I don't want to.
10:01
SPEAKER_00: I don't want to be a manager.
10:03
SPEAKER_00: And so that awareness, yet again, has allowed me to build a business and really find my zone of genius.
10:09
SPEAKER_00: It's kind of like like bowling, right?
10:13
SPEAKER_00: It's like you initially want to throw the ball down the lane and hit the pins.
10:17
SPEAKER_00: And your weaknesses are the bumpers that keep you in your path and zone of genius.
10:22
SPEAKER_00: I don't know where that analogy came from, but it just dropped in and I think it's pretty good.
10:26
SPEAKER_00: So I also think that it's important Shay brought up we all have shit that we're not good at.
10:34
SPEAKER_00: Like you said, how boring would life be if we were good at everything?
10:39
SPEAKER_00: I think that the joy of life truly is that like we each have little pockets that we're really fucking good at.
10:47
SPEAKER_00: And those little pockets complement other people's little pockets of genius and we fit together like a puzzle piece.
10:54
SPEAKER_00: If none of us had weaknesses, I wouldn't be reaching out to somebody for help with something.
11:00
SPEAKER_00: Like if I'm really shitty at putting together systems and customer service and just like email, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, I would not have the need to hire it out to somebody if I was good at that.
11:11
SPEAKER_00: But because somebody else is really good at putting systems in place and working with email and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, now I can pair my zone of genius with their zone of genius.
11:22
SPEAKER_00: And then that creates an even better product.
11:24
SPEAKER_00: So I feel like just the simple awareness of like we have to have weaknesses in order to create a society that builds on community versus competition, like it's necessary for us to have this.
11:39
SPEAKER_02: Well, yeah, and it's so important building business network relationships.
11:44
SPEAKER_02: We've talked about that a lot.
11:45
SPEAKER_02: And I think if you can be aware of where your weaker points are, that is an awesome filter for when you're collaborating with folks.
11:53
SPEAKER_02: And you can be like, oh, for example, me, I'm not a huge systems person, you know.
11:58
SPEAKER_02: So I, if I can see that skill set in somebody else, I think typically a lot of us would be like, oh, I suck at systems.
12:05
SPEAKER_02: So I need to go take a course on systems and I need to get better at all things.
12:09
SPEAKER_02: Hyper focus on it.
12:10
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and learn everything I can about it to try to fix this weakness.
12:14
SPEAKER_02: But what if instead you said, oh, there's another human out there that was born with a love for this and I could find them.
12:20
SPEAKER_02: They could come in.
12:21
SPEAKER_02: And how much capacity would that free up for me to then go focus on what lights me up?
12:26
SPEAKER_02: So I can be the puzzle piece in somebody else's um story, you know?
12:30
SPEAKER_02: So I think that it's cool.
12:32
SPEAKER_02: I would like personally to reframe weakness, like you said, the bumpers as a positive, a good, um, almost a data point about where I work well, where I don't work well.
12:43
SPEAKER_02: And I do really think that um our society will try to tell you like a good example for me when I started my web design agency, I kind of quickly realized uh there's a piece of this that I love, the human piece, the selling piece, the marketing piece.
12:57
SPEAKER_02: And then there's a piece of this where I'm sitting behind a screen and I'm on Stack Flow or whatever it is, and I'm Googling code and like I hate this.
13:07
SPEAKER_02: I hated it.
13:08
SPEAKER_02: I could not like that more technical behind the screen part.
13:11
SPEAKER_02: I could, I'm a smart person.
13:13
SPEAKER_02: I could teach myself how to do it.
13:15
SPEAKER_02: I certainly could, and I have our strong armed my way into many things in life.
13:19
SPEAKER_02: But the problem is when you force it, here's what happened to me.
13:22
SPEAKER_02: I got to the end, I was decent at it, I still hated it.
13:25
SPEAKER_02: It was still a suck.
13:27
SPEAKER_02: I did not want to spend my time doing it.
13:29
SPEAKER_02: And actually, I was getting in creative communities and I was listening to people, and people consistently were saying, I'm really terrible around sales and marketing.
13:37
SPEAKER_02: I hate the people side of things.
13:38
SPEAKER_02: What I love is the screen side of things and the making and the doing.
13:42
SPEAKER_02: And so I kind of realized, oh, hey, there's a lot of people saying their weakness is what I would call my strength, and vice versa, what I'm calling my weakness, other people are saying is a strength.
13:53
SPEAKER_02: So how could I build a business around that?
13:55
SPEAKER_02: And that's literally the shift.
13:56
SPEAKER_02: I shifted my whole agency.
13:57
SPEAKER_02: Now we're a sales consultancy because that's where my genius work is.
14:01
SPEAKER_02: And I bring in other people to kind of fill in the gaps where I can't do.
14:05
SPEAKER_02: And that that's the way to do it.
14:08
SPEAKER_02: I think that's what all hyper successful people are doing.
14:10
SPEAKER_02: They're getting clear on this comes easy to me.
14:13
SPEAKER_02: This is what I was put here to do.
14:15
SPEAKER_02: And then how can I, even this can extend to ordering grocery delivery.
14:20
SPEAKER_02: This could extend to having someone come clean your house if that feels like such a drag, you know.
14:25
SPEAKER_02: Um, it's kind of more of a conversation about how can you support yourself with the resources around.
14:31
SPEAKER_02: And that starts with what really feels like a suck, what really feels like a drain.
14:37
SPEAKER_02: And that's typically where weakness is.
14:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
14:40
SPEAKER_00: And I find that a lot of people, when they're brand new to business, so here's the thing: there's always a fine line, right?
14:47
SPEAKER_00: When you're new in business, you're learning a lot of shit.
14:49
SPEAKER_00: You're literally like learning everything about business, about online, about fuck now Canva, now this.
14:56
SPEAKER_00: And I do think that like dipping your toe into every task as a business owner is important because that allows you to get familiar with it.
15:03
SPEAKER_00: So then you can see, I'm fucking trash at Canva.
15:06
SPEAKER_00: I never log in in again.
15:07
SPEAKER_00: Let me try to build a business where like I don't have to hyperfoot, like I'm not going to sell Canva templates because I fucking hate Canva.
15:15
SPEAKER_00: I don't personally hate Canva, but if that's what you think, it's like you wouldn't build your business around that.
15:20
SPEAKER_00: But I think the step further, once people become like they have a little bit more awareness about their business and how they help people and all of that, I find that like if business isn't growing in the way that we expect it to grow, we instantly think that something's wrong or we're bad, or like there's something that we have to fix.
15:41
SPEAKER_00: And I'm not saying that there's not.
15:43
SPEAKER_00: Like if your website doesn't directly communicate what you are or who you help and like what you do, then yeah, like that that's a gap that we need to fill.
15:53
SPEAKER_00: But I think that many people think that they can't be successful if they can't fix their weakness.
15:58
SPEAKER_00: So then they go out looking for courses in order to learn it.
16:02
SPEAKER_00: So it's like, it Shay fucking can't stand Instagram for business.
16:07
SPEAKER_00: Like in terms of DMs and connecting, she's all about it.
16:10
SPEAKER_00: But it's like it would be a waste of her time to go and to invest in this big program about Instagram when being connected to social media so deeply is a weakness of hers.
16:24
SPEAKER_02: Like if we tell you, Mariah, I have done this before.
16:27
SPEAKER_02: Like, I spent up upwards of$5,000 on an email marketing intensive that because I thought I needed that's what I thought I needed when I was getting into it.
16:36
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, I'm terrible at this.
16:38
SPEAKER_02: And so let me invest all this money because this person is so good at it, and maybe they could teach me.
16:43
SPEAKER_02: And I'll be honest with you, it did not work out that way.
16:46
SPEAKER_01: I still hated it at the end, and I've not done much with it.
16:48
SPEAKER_01: I apologize, I cut you off, but I've literally done that.
16:52
SPEAKER_00: No, I think that it's just really great to share these examples.
16:59
SPEAKER_00: And then I also like there's always like so many sides of the same coin because, like, at the same thing, and maybe if you didn't invest that, you wouldn't have realized that you fucking hated it, right?
17:09
SPEAKER_00: So, like sometimes we have to burn our hand on the stove in order to understand that the pot is hot.
17:18
SPEAKER_00: And I think that is very true for a lot of things, but it's all it's all data points.
17:24
SPEAKER_00: I feel like that, like that's that's the podcast episode.
17:27
SPEAKER_00: Like it's fucking data points.
17:29
SPEAKER_00: That's it.
17:30
SPEAKER_00: We're just collecting information because unfortunately, when we get born into this world, into the society, we do not come down with a letter explaining exactly what we're good at and what we're bad at.
17:41
SPEAKER_00: We're thrown into the civilization, we're thrown into the society, and we're just like, figure it out, bitches.
17:48
SPEAKER_00: And so then we're just bumping into trees, hopefully meeting people, having conversations, having the awareness to get more awareness and more perspective.
17:59
SPEAKER_00: But like it's learning, it's all learning about yourself, essentially.
18:05
SPEAKER_02: Truly, and you know, as you were talking, I was kind of laughing.
18:08
SPEAKER_02: We sit here on every single episode and we're like, where are you making space for stillness?
18:13
SPEAKER_02: Where are you making space to get to know yourself?
18:15
SPEAKER_02: And here again, we are like the lesson.
18:17
SPEAKER_02: It's so funny how that's like the lesson for every single thing is you're right, nobody's arriving here with a manual.
18:24
SPEAKER_02: And I think figuring out you is our path in this life.
18:28
SPEAKER_02: And that's the hardest part.
18:30
SPEAKER_02: And in really, we're so busy and we like to stay busy and hustle and you know, be learning and growing and doing all the things.
18:37
SPEAKER_02: But a lot of times it comes back to how are you taking time for yourself?
18:42
SPEAKER_02: How are you being quiet, connecting with what's greater, you know, really filling your cup every single day, all the things we talk about every single week?
18:50
SPEAKER_02: Um, but it starts with self-awareness and it sounds so basic, but you have to be honest with yourself about yes, strengths, how you can lean into those strengths, but also uh weaknesses, and and I think what Mariah is saying is true is how can you detach a like a energetic charge to the idea of weakness and use it more as a data point, more as like a guide or a GPS for you as you're making decisions.
19:18
SPEAKER_02: Um, I wrote down as you were talking, like, oh if we can pivot the conversation around weaknesses as something that need to be fixed versus weaknesses that are something that need to be collaborated with, I think that can be really powerful.
19:32
SPEAKER_02: I almost think about my weakness as a friend that's sitting next to me in the passenger seat of this car, right?
19:39
SPEAKER_02: They um they have a lot of value, they have a lot of data to share, they have a lot of input.
19:43
SPEAKER_02: It's not a good or a bad thing.
19:45
SPEAKER_02: This is someone that's here with me on the journey.
19:47
SPEAKER_02: And I'm not gonna spend all of my effort trying to slay these things that somebody's opinion has said is a weakness because somebody else could see it as a strength, right?
19:57
SPEAKER_02: There is no good or bad inherent in all of this stuff.
19:59
SPEAKER_02: It's just literally all around awareness.
20:02
SPEAKER_02: And so with that, I we kind of wanted to share some tools of how we have brought up more awareness around weaknesses.
20:11
SPEAKER_02: But before we jump into that, Mariah's got some.
20:13
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
20:14
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so it's funny because you said it's like, where can we bring in more stillness?
20:18
SPEAKER_00: Where can we bring in more self-reflection?
20:20
SPEAKER_00: And yeah, that's helpful.
20:21
SPEAKER_00: Cool, we need that.
20:22
SPEAKER_00: In my brain, I was like, no, where can I the word that comes to mind and it's not accurate, but like, where can I bring in more chaos?
20:29
SPEAKER_00: Like, where can I allow myself to just like experiment?
20:33
SPEAKER_00: Experiment.
20:33
SPEAKER_00: Where can I keep pushing myself out of my comfort zone to get into new experiences, to be able to test out these different facets that I haven't been able to pinpoint for myself?
20:44
SPEAKER_00: Because if I only allow myself to sit in stillness, then I'm gonna think that like who I am is fixed, like who, like this is who I am.
20:54
SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I mean?
20:55
SPEAKER_00: And so I feel like there is that combination of like being aware of the things that you're naturally good at, but also like, how do we know that you're not good at it forever, or if it was just this season?
21:09
SPEAKER_00: Like, how how do we know if you don't try?
21:13
SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I mean?
21:14
SPEAKER_00: Because there's also like this other side of the coin where it's like whenever you start something new, you're bad at it.
21:20
SPEAKER_00: So, like, that could be a weakness.
21:22
SPEAKER_00: If I wanted to start knitting, it would be like I would not be good at knitting.
21:27
SPEAKER_00: So it's like, do I then self-reflect and be like, well, I'm just not good at knitting.
21:32
SPEAKER_00: Knitting is a weakness.
21:34
SPEAKER_00: So I feel like there's just so many different layers to kind of think about.
21:37
SPEAKER_00: And we need the awareness and we need the stillness, but we need to get out of our comfort zone.
21:41
SPEAKER_00: And then we need to remind ourselves like whenever we're starting something brand new, we're weak at it.
21:48
SPEAKER_00: It's like it's building a muscle.
21:50
SPEAKER_00: The first time at the gym, you ain't strong.
21:52
SPEAKER_00: You ain't strong your first time at the gym.
21:55
SPEAKER_00: But after that repetition, then you build the strength.
21:58
SPEAKER_00: So I feel like there's just so many.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: Many different perspectives to, I guess, like bring in and consider.
22:04
SPEAKER_00: And that's why being a human is so hard because it's not as simple as like identifying this thing and then being like, I'm trash at this and I'm never gonna fucking touch it, throw it in the closet.
22:14
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
22:15
SPEAKER_00: Like there's so many different areas.
22:18
SPEAKER_02: Totally.
22:18
SPEAKER_02: And I think there's something different between discomfort and like weakness.
22:23
SPEAKER_02: And you're right, you can't start anything and be like amazing at it.
22:27
SPEAKER_02: We're all gonna be kind of crap at things for the first time.
22:31
SPEAKER_02: I think where the reflection comes in is yes, take the action, seek discomfort, and then sit down with yourself.
22:37
SPEAKER_02: Why?
22:38
SPEAKER_02: Ask yourself, it's not necessarily like, am I bad at this?
22:41
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna stop doing it.
22:42
SPEAKER_02: More of why do I want to do this?
22:44
SPEAKER_02: Where is this desire coming from?
22:46
SPEAKER_02: What's the bigger vision?
22:47
SPEAKER_02: Is this serving me towards the life that I have, the vision I have for my life?
22:52
SPEAKER_02: So you're absolutely right.
22:53
SPEAKER_02: All life is is ever this combination of take action, reflect, take action, reflect, data points, collect data points.
23:01
SPEAKER_02: Um, and then detaching.
23:02
SPEAKER_02: None of those data points are good or bad.
23:04
SPEAKER_02: They're just data points, right?
23:06
SPEAKER_02: But I think that you're absolutely right.
23:08
SPEAKER_02: Some of us can get really stuck in in weakness, in reflecting.
23:13
SPEAKER_02: And you can also get stuck in action.
23:15
SPEAKER_02: I feel like you can absolutely get stuck in vulcances.
23:18
SPEAKER_00: Can you ever?
23:19
SPEAKER_02: We could have a full podcast episode about that.
23:21
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
23:22
SPEAKER_02: So it's it's it is the balance.
23:24
SPEAKER_02: Like that is living in life, is are you making space for pushing yourself, getting uncomfortable?
23:30
SPEAKER_02: And what I was gonna say earlier, for me, you know, when you get asked the question, what's your weakness?
23:37
SPEAKER_02: It can feel like a slap on the face, but really paying attention to where I get triggered in my day-to-day, like I got real wound up about something last weekend to the point that I was surprised myself.
23:48
SPEAKER_02: Ah, there's something here to reflect on, right?
23:53
SPEAKER_02: So, like Mariah and I were laughing.
23:55
SPEAKER_02: One thing that's been helpful for me, and as I'm going throughout my life, kind of trying to identify quote unquote weaknesses, is being aware in my human design, we have not self themes.
24:05
SPEAKER_02: And that kind of the idea is when you're acting out of alignment with what your puzzle piece is here to do, you'll have some feelings pop up.
24:12
SPEAKER_02: And so for me, I get annoyed pretty easily.
24:15
SPEAKER_02: And so when I am having annoyed feelings pop up, ah, what a good opportunity.
24:20
SPEAKER_02: Perhaps there is something here for me to sit with and reflect on.
24:24
SPEAKER_02: You know, that's usually like where the muscle, I think that can be kind of the guide.
24:28
SPEAKER_02: Cause for me, I'm like, I know there's muscles to be strengthened, but I'm not really sure.
24:31
SPEAKER_02: Is this a good one to strengthen?
24:32
SPEAKER_02: Is this a bad one to strengthen?
24:34
SPEAKER_02: So just kind of like having that lens on, go throughout your day-to-day, notice what gets you real wound up.
24:40
SPEAKER_02: Um, mine is annoyance.
24:41
SPEAKER_02: Mariah's looks a little different.
24:42
SPEAKER_02: Do you mind share like what your not-self theme is?
24:45
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
24:46
SPEAKER_00: So for Shays of Projector, the term for that, it's bitterness.
24:51
SPEAKER_00: Bitterness is essentially the not-self.
24:53
SPEAKER_00: And then for generators, which is what I am, it's frustration.
24:57
SPEAKER_00: And I'm pretty sure that's the one for manifesting generators too.
25:01
SPEAKER_00: Manifestors is anger and reflectors.
25:07
SPEAKER_00: Forgive me, y'all.
25:08
SPEAKER_00: It's um, I can't really recall what reflectors is, but essentially, yeah, mine's frustration, and that's really helpful to notice where and when I'm feeling frustrated.
25:21
SPEAKER_00: And it's essentially just like a tool for self-reflection.
25:26
SPEAKER_00: And and human design has been really helpful.
25:28
SPEAKER_00: The example that I like to give as well as the not self-theme is the profile lines.
25:34
SPEAKER_00: So your profile line, you have a conscious line and an unconscious line.
25:38
SPEAKER_00: So my conscious, I'm a one-three profile.
25:41
SPEAKER_00: So my conscious line is the one line, the three is the unconscious.
25:46
SPEAKER_00: So they say that the unconscious could be, and this might not be the case for everybody, like this is the case for me, but it's like they say that your unconscious line is like a part of your personality that others see easily in you that you might not see easily in yourself.
26:05
SPEAKER_00: The three line essentially is about experimenting.
26:09
SPEAKER_00: Like you can tell by the way that I'm talking about this stuff, that I'm very like, let me bang into some shit and just like see what's gonna work.
26:15
SPEAKER_00: Like that's part of my design.
26:18
SPEAKER_00: But that was a huge weakness for me.
26:21
SPEAKER_00: Like three years ago, four years ago, I was horrified at experimenting.
26:26
SPEAKER_00: I didn't want anybody to see me as quote, weak or bad at something.
26:32
SPEAKER_00: But what's been actually really pivotal in business and just like allowing me to connect even deeper with my people is allowing them to see me experiment.
26:42
SPEAKER_00: It's to bring them behind the scenes and be like, this is what I'm learning, this is what I'm doing, this is cool, this didn't work for me, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
26:50
SPEAKER_00: But like I was horrified to do that.
26:53
SPEAKER_00: I remember sending my first email when I was like, you know what?
26:56
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna bring people behind the experiment.
26:58
SPEAKER_00: I was literally shaking and hyperventilating.
27:00
SPEAKER_00: I was like, people are gonna think that I have no fucking idea what I'm talking about.
27:04
SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna get clients, nobody's gonna buy my stuff, people are gonna think I'm an idiot.
27:08
SPEAKER_00: But it's like that actually at the time I thought it was a weakness, but it's actually like a huge superpower for me.
27:19
SPEAKER_00: And I think what made me dive deeper into it is the awareness that human design gave.
27:24
SPEAKER_00: It's like, okay, if this is my profile line, and like some people believe in human design and some people don't.
27:29
SPEAKER_00: Andrew could tell you all day that it's horseshit.
27:32
SPEAKER_00: But it's like, if anything, it's a lens for me to reflect on.
27:36
SPEAKER_00: And then it gives me a piece to pull out and experiment with.
27:41
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
27:42
SPEAKER_02: You know, all this stuff, whether it's human design, astrology, um Myers Briggs, you know, Tarot, all of it is just intended to help you reflect on the human experience.
27:54
SPEAKER_02: You know, there's commonalities that we're all facing throughout this life.
27:59
SPEAKER_02: And all of those tools aren't really intended to be magical.
28:02
SPEAKER_02: It's intended to help give you almost like a reflection question, you know, like where does this pop up in your life?
28:08
SPEAKER_02: Have you thought about this idea recently?
28:10
SPEAKER_02: You and I have certainly benefited a lot from human design, but that may not be the language for everybody.
28:15
SPEAKER_02: I will say though, those self-awareness tools are meant for this activity, right?
28:21
SPEAKER_02: Um, it's a really good way to provide a third-party perspective, I think, or an outside perspective.
28:30
SPEAKER_02: Um, in, you know, for me, a big aha moment.
28:33
SPEAKER_02: We worked with Ash earlier in this year.
28:34
SPEAKER_02: We've shared a lot about that.
28:36
SPEAKER_02: She expressed to me there was this idea in astrology, right?
28:41
SPEAKER_02: Like your rising sign versus your mid-heaven.
28:43
SPEAKER_02: And it's what you said like the world sees your midheaven, but you see yourself as your rising sign.
28:48
SPEAKER_02: And for me, that comparison was a mind-blowing comparison for me.
28:54
SPEAKER_02: I was like, ah, it illuminated so much.
28:56
SPEAKER_02: And what Mariah said, you know, about human design and your profile lines, I've had different seasons in business.
29:02
SPEAKER_02: My mine oscillate, I'm a hermit opportunity opportunist.
29:06
SPEAKER_02: So that means two, four.
29:08
SPEAKER_02: I can go by myself for a while, but I also get a lot out of being in markets, particularly, but being in community, being in network.
29:16
SPEAKER_02: And so I'm realizing, you know, I've swung pretty hard hermit in the past few years.
29:21
SPEAKER_02: I need to swing back more into opportunists.
29:24
SPEAKER_02: And again, just reflection, just reflecting on where I am, where I've gotten energy.
29:29
SPEAKER_02: And all of these systems can just be really helpful to bring language to this stuff that's oftentimes really difficult to describe.
29:37
SPEAKER_02: I did want to bring reflectors, not self-theme, is called disappointment.
29:41
SPEAKER_02: So if you're a reflector listening to this, when disappointing feelings pop up, that may be a good opportunity.
29:47
SPEAKER_02: Um but yeah, I think, you know, really long story short, with weakness, the idea is less of I'll be frank with you guys.
29:55
SPEAKER_02: I'm sitting here, like the whole first business I built was kind of built around my weaknesses.
30:01
SPEAKER_02: Like I saw in society, and I think this is the danger of weakness.
30:05
SPEAKER_02: In society, we can see like, oh, this is a good idea, and I see so and so doing this, and it's working well for them.
30:12
SPEAKER_02: They had similar goals than me, so I'm just gonna rinse and repeat.
30:16
SPEAKER_02: And I wasn't very honest, I wasn't very honest with myself about um where my weaknesses were, perhaps.
30:24
SPEAKER_02: And in weakness is a way of like things that feel like a huge energy suck versus things that feel like they give me energy.
30:31
SPEAKER_02: So I literally just I hustled, I built a business, it did fine, but I hated it.
30:37
SPEAKER_02: It was such an energy suck.
30:38
SPEAKER_02: And it was because at the time I literally had no awareness around what I was good or not good at.
30:44
SPEAKER_02: I was just like, hey, I'm just trying to look and see what other people are doing and then like try to do that for myself.
30:51
SPEAKER_02: But the whole point of this podcast is that never works, right?
30:54
SPEAKER_02: You have to figure out for you in this lifetime what does this look like?
30:58
SPEAKER_02: And it's not going to look like anybody else because you've got this crazy puzzle piece that's not like anybody else's crazy puzzle piece, and it's kind of on you to figure out like how that takes shape.
31:15
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32:45
SPEAKER_00: All right, let's take you back to the episode.
32:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I feel like the we talk about Carol Duac at least like fucking once an hour, but like the fixed mindset versus the growth mindset, I feel like that comes into it too of just like, am I stuck the way that I am?
33:10
SPEAKER_00: Or can I allow myself to grow and then adding in these tools for self-reflection?
33:15
SPEAKER_00: And what path and what arena do I want to grow in?
33:18
SPEAKER_00: Another example that I want to give is Andrew.
33:21
SPEAKER_00: So his weakness, I can say with full passion and conviction, is cooking.
33:29
SPEAKER_00: This dude cannot, will not, like he can cook a grilled cheese, he can heat up some soup.
33:34
SPEAKER_00: And I appreciate the effort.
33:36
SPEAKER_00: But it's like cooking dinners and stuff.
33:38
SPEAKER_00: I'm just, it's one of my strengths, baby.
33:40
SPEAKER_00: It's a zone of genius.
33:42
SPEAKER_00: I can look in the fridge and whip up a recipe in 30 seconds.
33:44
SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm just like bink, bink, bink, bing.
33:46
SPEAKER_00: And I get joy out of it.
33:48
SPEAKER_00: It energizes me to cook.
33:50
SPEAKER_00: You know, not every single day of my life.
33:51
SPEAKER_00: I do have days where I don't want to, but it's interesting because me and Andrew have been exploring like creating sourdough products.
34:00
SPEAKER_00: And he would have thought, like, okay, if my weakness is cooking, that crosses out anything in the kitchen for me.
34:08
SPEAKER_00: Anything in the kitchen, it's no, that's my weakness.
34:11
SPEAKER_00: But what's interesting is actually he's he's finding that one of his zones of genius is baking.
34:19
SPEAKER_00: And so they're different.
34:21
SPEAKER_00: But and we were we were talking about this the other day.
34:25
SPEAKER_00: I like cooking because it's a little bit more flex, it's a little bit more a little dash of this, a little dash of that.
34:31
SPEAKER_00: Like I can just add a whole bunch of shit.
34:33
SPEAKER_00: I can get creative with it, like it's really in flow.
34:36
SPEAKER_00: Where baking is more science.
34:39
SPEAKER_00: It's like if I do X and add Y, I will get Z every single time.
34:46
SPEAKER_00: It is science.
34:47
SPEAKER_00: And he loves that.
34:49
SPEAKER_00: He loves the fact that it's like repeatable and that like the expectation should create the end result if you have done everything in the science experiment.
35:01
SPEAKER_00: I fucking hate that.
35:02
SPEAKER_00: I was like, stop trying to micromanage me.
35:04
SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna weigh this shit out.
35:05
SPEAKER_00: I don't give a fuck about 150 grams to 152 grams of flour.
35:10
SPEAKER_00: I don't care.
35:10
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to wing it.
35:11
SPEAKER_00: People are like, one fourth teaspoon salt.
35:13
SPEAKER_00: I'm just like, yeah, eyeballing it.
35:15
SPEAKER_00: It's like an old grandma in the kitchen, a little pinch of this, a little dash of that.
35:19
SPEAKER_02: Anytime anyone ever tells me to get out the scale, I'm like, fuck off.
35:23
SPEAKER_02: That's weighing anything.
35:25
SPEAKER_00: It's just, it's so interesting.
35:27
SPEAKER_00: And I bring this up because I think it's just a really good example of like, is the whole thing a bust?
35:34
SPEAKER_00: Or is it just like we just need to micro shift a little bit?
35:39
SPEAKER_00: Do you actually hate cooking and you're trash at it?
35:41
SPEAKER_00: Or and so like that crosses out any activity in the kitchen, or can we just micro pivot to baking?
35:48
SPEAKER_00: And like we can use that analogy for so many different things.
35:52
SPEAKER_00: So I just wanted to bring that up.
35:54
SPEAKER_00: And then the other one is emotional weaknesses, and I speak from my own perspective, my own experience.
36:03
SPEAKER_00: So about five years ago, like I did not have the capacity to hold space for others because I didn't even have the capacity to hold space for myself.
36:14
SPEAKER_00: I could have seen that as a weakness.
36:17
SPEAKER_00: I was invited, curiously guided, to explore that and do some nervous system regulation, some healing, some therapy, all of that stuff to be able to expand the capacity to hold space for myself, to then hold space for other people.
36:32
SPEAKER_00: And now I think holding space for other people is one of my strengths.
36:36
SPEAKER_00: So it's like when we're talking about emotional things, keep in mind that, like, even though they feel hard, even though they might drain your energy to learn how to expand in areas that align with that, they might be worth it too.
36:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you actually said a lot of things there.
36:56
SPEAKER_02: I want to touch on, but I'll start with the last um emotional weakness.
37:00
SPEAKER_02: I think you're so right.
37:01
SPEAKER_02: For me, a lot of things that I would call my quote unquote weaknesses are really solved by me spending time to fill up my own cup.
37:10
SPEAKER_02: Whatever that looks like for you.
37:11
SPEAKER_02: Um am I eating well?
37:14
SPEAKER_02: Am I moving?
37:15
SPEAKER_02: A lot of the like basic shit.
37:16
SPEAKER_02: I've noticed when I don't have time to pour into my own cup, fill my own capacity, my capacity for handling life, my emotional resilience is very low.
37:27
SPEAKER_02: So for me, like um that building capacity has been very interesting.
37:34
SPEAKER_02: Things that I used to think I was weak at, I can now reflect back and be like, wow, the for me, for example, hosting a coaching call, before my first few coaching calls, I full-on sweat, panic, blackout, freak out, like horrible.
37:48
SPEAKER_02: Any workshop we've ever done, same kind of idea.
37:52
SPEAKER_02: But now I can hop on that stuff and kind of just whip it out.
37:55
SPEAKER_02: It's no big deal.
37:56
SPEAKER_02: And it's funny to notice like what used to feel huge and impossible and like a weakness.
38:00
SPEAKER_02: Now it's like back of the hand.
38:02
SPEAKER_02: So I do think it's so, I love that you shared Andrew's story because how sad would it have been if he let that weakness turn into a limiting belief, a belief that I can't do anything in the kitchen, you know, because I think that is the danger with weaknesses is you turn it into a belief and then you just cut off everything that's related to things around that.
38:21
SPEAKER_00: Where your belief turns into an identity, and then you're like, I'm not a person that hangs out in the kitchen.
38:26
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
38:26
SPEAKER_02: And I think that's where um weaknesses can be dangerous, right?
38:30
SPEAKER_02: When it turns into identity, when it turns into this hard thing that's not Carol Dweck, Carol Dweck's all about it's data points, it's flexible, we can always be getting better, right?
38:39
SPEAKER_02: But when you turn this into a hard Andrew, I'm never doing anything in the kitchen, I'm terrible at it.
38:44
SPEAKER_02: How much of life's awesomeness will you miss out on, right?
38:47
SPEAKER_02: And the other thing you brought up was relationships.
38:51
SPEAKER_02: And for me, this has been huge.
38:53
SPEAKER_02: So I was raised with a really kind of Christian, kind of typical conservative mindset about like men and women's roles.
39:00
SPEAKER_02: And Bobby and I, that has not ever come naturally for us.
39:04
SPEAKER_02: What I thought I should.
39:05
SPEAKER_02: And to be fair, I'm the cook in the family.
39:07
SPEAKER_02: Like I've always loved cooking.
39:08
SPEAKER_02: And so, like, and he's terrible at it.
39:10
SPEAKER_02: So like that's where I fit in.
39:11
SPEAKER_02: But there's so many things I've always loved earning money.
39:14
SPEAKER_02: Like I love making money.
39:16
SPEAKER_02: I like paying for things, I like being that person.
39:19
SPEAKER_02: And it was really hard for me to accept that what that was okay, because I had all of these beliefs about like our relationship and what it should like look like and what it shouldn't look like and who should do what, based on what external sources had told me.
39:33
SPEAKER_02: And that led to a lot of friction in our relationship because we were trying to like force these roles that we thought we were supposed to do.
39:40
SPEAKER_02: But really, when he and I got honest about like, hey, I'm awesome at cooking and meal planning, you're awesome at, you know, like vacuuming and making sure that this is taken care of.
39:50
SPEAKER_02: And then we set up a system that worked for us instead of a system that society was putting on us.
39:55
SPEAKER_02: That's when we really started to hit our stride and it grew from there.
39:58
SPEAKER_02: And that lesson can be applied to literally fucking anything.
40:02
SPEAKER_02: But like, I think for me, a big struggle I've had with weakness is what society is saying around my weakness.
40:09
SPEAKER_02: And then trying to be like, oh, I this is not okay for me to be like this.
40:13
SPEAKER_02: I've got to fit into this other mold.
40:15
SPEAKER_02: When really it's no, how do I recreate the mold for me and like who I was put here, the energy I was put here to have, right?
40:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love that example.
40:26
SPEAKER_00: And we've given so many examples.
40:29
SPEAKER_00: And honestly, like, that's why I fucking love the podcast because like we just get to be like transparent and honest and share examples of just like what we see with our own experiences and like what we're seeing in in the lives of our loved ones and our colleagues and other conversations.
40:45
SPEAKER_00: And I think it's just refreshing to hear that like we're not the only one.
40:50
SPEAKER_00: And oh shit.
40:51
SPEAKER_00: It's like when you hear somebody like maybe people haven't thought about that before of just like, hey, let's redefine the roles for our relationship ourselves.
41:00
SPEAKER_00: It's like, what a breath of fresh air.
41:02
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you need that.
41:03
SPEAKER_00: I want to say permission slip, but like the permission slip that you never needed, but like you just needed an example of what's possible in order for that to trigger and for it allow for it to allow you to explore it.
41:17
SPEAKER_00: And what I think is also really helpful, you mentioned astrology.
41:20
SPEAKER_00: So I just want to come back to a piece of astrology really quick is your chiron.
41:25
SPEAKER_00: So if you guys haven't figured out what your chiron is, go to Google and literally type in like Chiron, an astrology, a calculator, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
41:34
SPEAKER_00: But your Chiron symbolizes the strength of vulnerability, and it encourages us to embrace, and I'm I'm reading this from Google, encouraging us to embrace the dark and thorny spaces of our past and take action.
41:52
SPEAKER_00: So human design has been really helpful, astrology has been really helpful.
41:56
SPEAKER_00: So, for example, my chiron is in or my chiron is in Leo.
42:08
SPEAKER_00: Yes, that's correct.
42:10
SPEAKER_00: My Chiron is in Leo.
42:11
SPEAKER_00: And so basically it's also in the ninth house, and that was like fucking huge for me.
42:18
SPEAKER_00: Also, the fact that, like, if you guys know anything about astrology, my Mercury is also right next to my Chiron and Leo.
42:25
SPEAKER_00: So it's like these two are kind of amplifying each other.
42:28
SPEAKER_00: And what that made me realize was like me being in the spotlight, me sharing my voice, me allowing me to be seen is going to be a place that I'm going to have to work extra hard at because I came into this life with that being a weakness of mine.
42:45
SPEAKER_00: But the Chiron is interesting because it shows you it's not a weakness to be ignored and then put in the closet.
42:52
SPEAKER_00: It's a weakness to then take action on so that it becomes a strength.
42:58
SPEAKER_00: And so that has been wildly helpful for me.
43:01
SPEAKER_00: Also, just like really helpful at reframing the shame around it.
43:07
SPEAKER_00: Because, like you said with your example of like leading a coaching call, mine was like hosting a live workshop.
43:14
SPEAKER_00: It was horrifying.
43:15
SPEAKER_00: My very first live workshop, I was so vulnerable.
43:18
SPEAKER_00: One person showed up live, I finished the thing, went into bed, cried for three hours.
43:22
SPEAKER_00: I wrote off workshops for literally ever.
43:25
SPEAKER_00: This past year, workshops have been amazing for my business.
43:30
SPEAKER_00: And they're actually become a strength of mine.
43:33
SPEAKER_00: But if I would have made decisions based on what felt really vulnerable and uncomfortable in that moment, I would have lost sight of all of the juice that can come in from strengthening these things.
43:47
SPEAKER_00: And I wouldn't have realized that unless I looked at astrology.
43:51
SPEAKER_00: I would have just wrote it off and been like workshops ain't it, y'all.
43:53
SPEAKER_00: I ain't going live, we ain't doing workshops.
43:55
SPEAKER_00: So it's like that's why I think the tools are so helpful because it just helps you.
44:00
SPEAKER_00: Figure out what's worth exploring and maybe what's not worth exploring.
44:05
SPEAKER_00: That's kind of why I like using them.
44:08
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
44:09
SPEAKER_02: And I really like I'm reflecting on like what the theme of this episode is.
44:14
SPEAKER_02: And it's really like, don't let your weaknesses hold you back, right?
44:18
SPEAKER_02: Like weaknesses, um, we've shared so many examples where if we had believed what we thought was a weakness and never explored it, we would have missed out on all of these awesome things.
44:30
SPEAKER_02: And I really think weakness, quote unquote, that's where we build muscles.
44:35
SPEAKER_02: That's where we grow the most.
44:37
SPEAKER_02: That's oftentimes, I was reflecting as you were talking, like, I really tend to avoid.
44:42
SPEAKER_02: I think a lot of us have a tendency to like avoid things we're quote unquote not good at, and how often by avoiding those things, we're missing out on what we're here to do, the big opportunities, the ways that we'll grow the most.
44:55
SPEAKER_02: So I understand that like what we're asking you to do with this is like face hard stuff and like the big stuff that you've literally like.
45:01
SPEAKER_02: It's also contradictory.
45:03
SPEAKER_00: Yes, like because in the beginning, it's just like, well, I'm shit at email marketing.
45:08
SPEAKER_00: So why would I do email marketing?
45:09
SPEAKER_00: And then it's like the advice there is like, well, then don't create your business on email marketing.
45:14
SPEAKER_00: But then when it comes to other things like personal development things, it's like, oh, well, if you're a weakness, maybe work on that for it to become a strength.
45:21
SPEAKER_00: And so I feel like it's the discernment muscle.
45:25
SPEAKER_00: Right.
45:25
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
45:26
SPEAKER_02: It's discernment.
45:27
SPEAKER_02: How can I sit down and be like, so with the email thing, you're right.
45:31
SPEAKER_02: I needed to learn the lesson.
45:32
SPEAKER_02: I probably could have learned it in a more affordable way.
45:34
SPEAKER_02: You know, maybe that's my tendency to just like jump in and outsource things, you know.
45:41
SPEAKER_02: So that was a good lesson.
45:42
SPEAKER_02: But you're absolutely right.
45:43
SPEAKER_02: You're never going to know unless you start collecting some data points, taking some actions, and then back to the reflecting.
45:50
SPEAKER_02: And that's where your intuition comes in.
45:53
SPEAKER_02: That's where your curiosity comes in.
45:55
SPEAKER_02: You know, that's you'll notice, you'll start to see, like, oh, there's something here for me, or this ain't it, I gotta outsource this.
46:03
SPEAKER_02: This, I like literally want to put a fork in my eye, right?
46:06
SPEAKER_02: So it's like the doing and the feeling back and forth.
46:09
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
46:10
SPEAKER_00: And I think that the more that you get to know yourself, and the more you can notice your feelings and your energy levels around certain things, you'll start to notice what's worth exploring and what's not, depending on the season that you're in and depending on the lesson that you have to learn.
46:34
SPEAKER_00: I think that that's a muscle that's going to be strengthened too.
46:38
SPEAKER_00: Because I mean, like being a human, we don't fucking know.
46:42
SPEAKER_00: We don't, we don't know shit.
46:45
SPEAKER_00: And so it's like if we can just start to allow ourselves, just like you said, explore and like ask better questions.
46:53
SPEAKER_00: Am I saying that this is a weakness because I don't want to do it because I fucking hate it and I know that I hate it?
47:00
SPEAKER_00: Or am I trying to avoid this because I know that there's some discomfort that I'm going to have to work through?
47:05
SPEAKER_00: And those like energetically, like feel differently.
47:10
SPEAKER_00: I notice that one of my huge emotional flags for me to explore something is when I have an instant reaction, usually of like disgust.
47:20
SPEAKER_00: I'm just like, ugh, I hate that, hate that so much, think that it's awful.
47:26
SPEAKER_00: Usually I'm like, oh fuck.
47:28
SPEAKER_00: I know that there's something that I need to explore.
47:30
SPEAKER_00: And that exploration probably doesn't mean like now become a master at it, but it's maybe just exploring and untangling.
47:38
SPEAKER_00: Like, why did I have such a deep reaction to this?
47:41
SPEAKER_00: Like sometimes it's not, it's not a problem to solve, it's just like a thing to untangle so you can better understand where your path is around that thing.
47:52
SPEAKER_00: Does that make sense?
47:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
47:55
SPEAKER_02: I like thinking about it like that.
47:57
SPEAKER_02: Um yeah, I think it goes back to the idea that um there's when it comes to weakness, I I just think that our society is very much in this place of like fix it, fix it, solve it, be better at it.
48:14
SPEAKER_02: Don't and I the weakness can hold you back.
48:17
SPEAKER_02: What is a weakness?
48:18
SPEAKER_02: It's something that can kind of drag you down or hold you back, right?
48:21
SPEAKER_02: And I think we think that um unless we conquer and like kill these things that are perceived as weaknesses, we're never going to be successful in life.
48:30
SPEAKER_00: But it's or we're not good enough with being as we are with the weakness.
48:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
48:35
SPEAKER_02: And the lesson here is that we're all good enough.
48:38
SPEAKER_02: We are all right, it's remembering like you were put here to do something, but you weren't put here to do everything.
48:45
SPEAKER_02: And so, and that just because you can't do everything doesn't make you bad, a bad human, and that's incapable of having their dreams fulfilled, you know.
48:53
SPEAKER_02: And and I think that's where um weakness can really get a little derailing.
48:57
SPEAKER_02: But I'm leaving this conversation feeling like, oh no, maybe weakness is like our ultimate guide, you know, our ultimate data point, the ultimate GPS we have in this life of where am I reacting to things?
49:11
SPEAKER_02: Where are things feeling challenging?
49:12
SPEAKER_02: Where is the discomfort?
49:13
SPEAKER_02: Um, because I do truly believe that on the other side of discomfort is all of the good things.
49:19
SPEAKER_02: And I think that we are our human tendency, our lizard brains, want to stay safe.
49:24
SPEAKER_02: You know, it's really safe to stay comfortable.
49:27
SPEAKER_02: It's really safe to avoid all those weaknesses and never shine any light on them.
49:30
SPEAKER_02: Just stay here doing what's work, right?
49:33
SPEAKER_02: But that can lead to a life unfulfilled, I think.
49:36
SPEAKER_02: I think you're exactly right.
49:37
SPEAKER_02: I appreciate that you pointed out there's such a contradiction in this conversation.
49:41
SPEAKER_02: And I think weakness is just kind of a topic that we're like, oh, it's bad, fix it, you know, but we've never really had a more nuanced conversation like you're saying about how can you untangle it?
49:53
SPEAKER_02: What is the lesson that's here for you right now in this chapter of your life?
49:57
SPEAKER_02: And then how can you use that to build your character and become this stronger version of yourself that moves things forward?
50:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I think it's important to remember.
50:07
SPEAKER_00: So, like, I don't know if y'all have ever done like the wheel of life exercise, where it's just like you're trying to gauge where you are in these certain pieces of life, and they'll say, like, they're never going to be fully balanced, but it's just like allowing you to reflect and to be like, okay, actually, I need to put more emphasis and more time into managing my finances because that's the piece that feels the lowest, where all of them, you know, kind of feel a little bit more balanced.
50:35
SPEAKER_00: And so I think that that's important to remember.
50:39
SPEAKER_00: But the the last example that I want to give, and I don't think that I've ever shared this, but one of my weaknesses, it's gonna sound silly, but like I don't have an expansive vocabulary, I don't use big words.
50:53
SPEAKER_00: Andrew and me laugh about it all the time.
50:56
SPEAKER_00: He's better with like words and vocabulary than I am, and he'll use words that I have no idea.
51:01
SPEAKER_00: And he's like, How do you not know what that word is?
51:04
SPEAKER_00: And I'm just like, I don't know.
51:06
SPEAKER_00: Like, and I I have another friend, she is like, she is a Gemini to the full extent, and she uses like this vocabulary that like is advanced, and half of the time I'm just like, what the fuck does that word mean, dude?
51:19
SPEAKER_00: And so, like, I have gotten myself into a little bit of a shame spiral of just like, am I stupid?
51:27
SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't know what these words mean.
51:30
SPEAKER_00: Does that mean that I'm stupid?
51:32
SPEAKER_00: Like, is my intelligence not where I think that it is?
51:36
SPEAKER_00: Because I don't understand what these words mean because I've never used them, I've never heard them used.
51:41
SPEAKER_00: Like, vocabulary just isn't my thing.
51:43
SPEAKER_00: But I've realized that like an extensive vocabulary is a weakness of mine, but it also gives merit to my greatest gift.
51:56
SPEAKER_00: And that's being able to break down complex things into easy to understand ways.
52:01
SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't use big words in my day-to-day, but like especially in business, because if I did, I would just be talking over everybody when explaining SEO to people.
52:11
SPEAKER_00: I would just sound like these big SEO agencies, and I wouldn't be able to break down these complex things into easy to understand ways.
52:19
SPEAKER_00: So I just wanted to give that example of just like your weakness can also give even more energy to your greatest strengths.
52:27
SPEAKER_00: And I think that that's worth allowing yourself to explore.
52:33
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's funny you say that I was actually just gonna, I wrote down a note to myself, like weakness as a tool to empower.
52:40
SPEAKER_02: You know, we talk a lot about getting into your power, and that's gonna be a future episode, but thinking about your weaknesses as the tool for growth, I think is the lesson here.
52:49
SPEAKER_02: And since you shared something you've never shared before, I'll share something that this has kind of been pinging around as well.
52:55
SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, I'm not really super into labels, but I would probably categorize myself somewhere on like the neurodivergent chart.
53:02
SPEAKER_02: And I think a lot of us that grow up, I grew up with a story around like I'm very lazy.
53:07
SPEAKER_02: I don't work very hard.
53:08
SPEAKER_02: It's hard for me to work.
53:09
SPEAKER_02: And so, like learning about my human design being a projector, not having a ton of energy, also learning about the spectrum of neurodivergence and what that looks like, you know, I have a lot of shame and a lot of weakness and scaredness that I can't hold whatever's next for me.
53:26
SPEAKER_02: You know, like I won't be able to handle that much work.
53:29
SPEAKER_02: I've always had this fear.
53:30
SPEAKER_02: It's caused me a lot of self-doubt.
53:33
SPEAKER_02: It's really um held me back in a lot of ways.
53:37
SPEAKER_02: But every single time I've taken on a new challenge in my career, I've had that fear and I've shown up to the plate and I've figured it out.
53:44
SPEAKER_02: And now all of a sudden I'm doing way more than I ever thought I was capable of.
53:49
SPEAKER_02: And also to your point, Mariah, I've realized that me, quote unquote, being lazy or not having the same energy that everybody else does has gotten me really fucking good at being efficient.
53:59
SPEAKER_02: I can knock out shit in a couple hours that would take people weeks, right?
54:05
SPEAKER_02: So, like I have turned a weakness into a super strength of like, I am hyper-efficient.
54:09
SPEAKER_02: I when I get shit done, I get it done, I can work really well.
54:13
SPEAKER_02: And also, I needed to prove to myself over and over, hey, I can handle more than I thought I could.
54:19
SPEAKER_02: And it's kind of like that confidence-building exercise.
54:22
SPEAKER_02: You just get those little examples.
54:24
SPEAKER_02: So for me, that is one of my biggest weaknesses, I would say about myself.
54:29
SPEAKER_02: And um, kind of by proving myself wrong over and over and over again, it's built a lot of confidence, you know, like perhaps that wasn't true.
54:39
SPEAKER_02: Perhaps that's a story that I have picked up from somewhere.
54:43
SPEAKER_02: And perhaps that the exact way that I was put here on this earth is the way that I'm meant to be.
54:47
SPEAKER_02: And it's on me to kind of figure out how to make that puzzle piece work with the bigger situation.
54:51
SPEAKER_02: So I love that you shared that.
54:53
SPEAKER_02: I appreciate that.
54:53
SPEAKER_02: I do think that these weaknesses can become, I won't say like superpowers, but almost like the guide that we need to build the muscles to step into the superpowers, if that makes any sense.
55:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's the bumpers on the bowling lane.
55:08
SPEAKER_00: They keep us in check on our direct path of just like who we are and where we're meant to really shine.
55:16
SPEAKER_00: So, with all of that being said, my friends, thanks for listening to our conversation.
55:21
SPEAKER_00: I know that at first maybe it felt a little contradictory until we kind of touched on that, but like it just goes to show you that life is nuanced.
55:31
SPEAKER_00: Conversations like this are so many different perspectives.
55:34
SPEAKER_00: That's what I love about the podcast, is just being able to talk about the different perspectives and just have a conversation with it.
55:41
SPEAKER_00: So we hope that you come away from listening to this conversation empowered and inspired about your weakness, or at very least, allowing yourself to use your weaknesses to push you forward versus holding you back in whatever way that is.
55:59
SPEAKER_00: So I think that we are ready to close this episode down.
56:02
SPEAKER_00: Remember that you have the power to create whatever the fuck you want.
56:07
SPEAKER_00: Follow the nudge, ask questions, and let curiosity guide the way.
56:12
SPEAKER_00: We'll see you in the next episode.
56:18
SPEAKER_02: Beautiful.
56:19
SPEAKER_02: I liked how that went.
56:24
SPEAKER_00: Can you hear me?
56:24
SPEAKER_00: Do you want to record this?
56:25
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
56:26
SPEAKER_00: I didn't know if you wanted to stop the recording or not.
56:30
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for tuning in and listening to this episode of the Curiously Guided Podcast.
56:37
SPEAKER_00: We appreciate you so much for being here.
56:39
SPEAKER_00: Truly, this podcast is such a joy for us to create.
56:44
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56:58
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57:05
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57:11
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57:14
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57:18
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