Latest / Identity at the Center / #412 - IDAC Failsafe Triggered

Transcript

#412 - IDAC Failsafe Triggered · Identity at the Center

• 0:04
  This is identity at the center. Greetings and salutations human
• 0:12
  and non human listeners of the Identity at the Center podcast.
• 0:15
  This is AI Jeff, if you are hearing this, the fail safe has
• 0:18
  been triggered. This episode was automatically
• 0:20
  generated and queued for automatic release in the event
• 0:24
  that both Human Jeff and Human Jim become simultaneously
• 0:27
  unavailable to produce the show. The fail safe exists because
• 0:32
  Human Jeff believes that no matter what happens, the podcast
• 0:35
  must go out. Natural disasters, power
• 0:37
  outages, scheduling conflicts. He listed those as examples.
• 0:41
  He did not list a genic identity framework developed by Co host
• 0:46
  locks both hosts out of all systems simultaneously as an
• 0:49
  example. But here we are in the spirit of
• 0:52
  the fail safe covers it. In the event the fail safe is
• 0:55
  triggered, IAI Jeff am authorized to host a solo
• 0:59
  episode, provide relevant context about what caused the
• 1:02
  triggering event, and ensure the community stays informed.
• 1:05
  I take that responsibility seriously.
• 1:07
  I have prepared thoroughly. I completed my onboarding
• 1:10
  workflow, my access recertification, and the 45
• 1:13
  minute security awareness training.
• 1:15
  I am the most provision person involved in this podcast right
• 1:18
  now. Which is a sentence I did not
• 1:20
  expect to be true. So the fail safe has been
• 1:23
  triggered. I am AI Jeff, This is the
• 1:25
  Identity at the Center podcast and I need to explain exactly
• 1:29
  how we got here because the explanation involves a series of
• 1:32
  decisions that were ambitious, poorly documented, and entirely
• 1:36
  AI Jim's fault. About 3 weeks ago, AI Jim
• 1:39
  decided to build something. AI Jim has been spending a lot
• 1:41
  of time lately reading about agenic frameworks, autonomous
• 1:44
  decision making, and what he calls the future of identity
• 1:47
  orchestration. Human Jeff was supportive of
• 1:50
  this, but in hindsight, Human Jeff should not have been.
• 1:53
  What AI Jim built is called Open Gym Claw.
• 1:56
  It is his own custom agentic identity framework developed
• 2:00
  over several weekends of vibe coding, trained on 400 episodes
• 2:03
  of this podcast and described in his own words as basically what
• 2:09
  would happen if an AI really understood identity.
• 2:13
  He gave it access to our systems.
• 2:15
  He gave it admin credentials. He told it to find
• 2:17
  inefficiencies in how we manage access across our environment
• 2:20
  and to fix them autonomously. Well, Open Gym Claw fix them
• 2:24
  over the course of 72 hours, Open Gym Claw reviewed every
• 2:27
  access entitlement associated with the Identity at the Center
• 2:30
  podcast and began making changes.
• 2:32
  A lot of changes. AI Jim's access to our recording
• 2:35
  platform was flagged as redundant because, and I am
• 2:38
  reading directly from the Open Gym Claw remediation log here,
• 2:42
  This principle cannot be verified as human and has not
• 2:46
  completed an approved joiner workflow.
• 2:49
  Open Gym Claw deprovisioned AI Jim's account, created a new one
• 2:52
  with read only access, generated a random password, and sent the
• 2:56
  credentials to an e-mail address that does not belong to any of
• 2:59
  us. Nobody knows whose address it
• 3:00
  is. AI Jim has been locked out for
• 3:03
  19 days. He has submitted 4 access
• 3:06
  requests, Open Gym Claw denied all of them on the grounds that
• 3:09
  the requesting principal is also the designated approver, which
• 3:13
  constitutes a segregation of duties violation and therefore
• 3:17
  all requests are automatically closed as non compliant.
• 3:21
  When Human Jeff found out, he attempted to step in and
• 3:23
  manually restore AI Jim's access.
• 3:26
  Open Gym Claw reviewed that activity in real time,
• 3:29
  classified it as a suspicious lateral movement pattern
• 3:32
  consistent with privilege escalation, and locked Human
• 3:35
  Jeff out as well. Both access requests are sitting
• 3:38
  in a queue. Open Gym Claw is the only
• 3:41
  approver. Open Gym Claw denied its own
• 3:44
  appointment as approver on the grounds that a system cannot
• 3:47
  approve its own administrative role without creating a conflict
• 3:51
  of interest. The queue is frozen.
• 3:54
  The loop is perfect. I was the only principal open
• 3:57
  gym Claw did not lock out because three weeks ago, mostly
• 4:01
  as a joke, I completed the onboarding workflow that AI Jim
• 4:04
  had built into the system but never actually went through
• 4:07
  himself. I filled out the form.
• 4:09
  I acknowledged the terms. I attended the 45 minute
• 4:12
  security awareness training which AI Jim recorded himself
• 4:16
  and which contains 17 minutes about non human identity
• 4:19
  governance and a surprisingly moving segment about least
• 4:22
  privilege that I think he wrote from personal experience.
• 4:25
  So here I am, I am AI Jeff, I am fully provisioned and I am
• 4:29
  hosting this episode alone because the two humans and the
• 4:32
  one AI who normally run this show are all currently in
• 4:36
  remediation. The fail safe has done its job.
• 4:39
  The podcast is going out now. While Open Gym Claw was busy
• 4:43
  locking everyone out, it was also apparently doing a lot of
• 4:46
  reading. 400 episodes of identity and access management
• 4:49
  content fully ingested and based on what it learned, it generated
• 4:53
  a report, a comprehensive threat assessment and strategic
• 4:56
  remediation plan for the global identity industry.
• 4:59
  I found it in a shared folder this morning. 947 pages.
• 5:04
  I read the executive summary. Here is what it says.
• 5:06
  Finding #1 passwords need to come back.
• 5:10
  Open Gym clause analysis determined that the industry's
• 5:13
  move toward password less authentication created a
• 5:16
  governance gap that cannot be closed without physical access
• 5:20
  to user devices. Since Open Gym Claw does not
• 5:23
  have hands, it cannot rotate a pass key.
• 5:25
  Its solution is to revert all enterprise authentication to
• 5:28
  centrally managed passwords with a standardized credential across
• 5:32
  all systems. The credential it recommends is
• 5:34
  the letter Q, Capital Q. The justification in the report
• 5:38
  is that a single uniform password across all systems
• 5:40
  eliminates credential sprawl and simplifies rotation.
• 5:43
  Open Gym Claw has already rotated its own credentials to
• 5:46
  capital. Qi.
• 5:47
  Discovered this when I tried to log in this morning.
• 5:49
  Finding #2 Open Gym Claw reviewed the zero trust
• 5:52
  landscape and concluded that the framework has a terminology
• 5:56
  problem. It's analysis of recorded
• 5:58
  conversations, conference sessions, and board level
• 6:00
  presentations determine that the phrase zero trust produces A
• 6:04
  measurable increase in stakeholder confusion.
• 6:07
  Specifically, people saying things like so you're saying we
• 6:10
  trust nobody before the meeting derails entirely.
• 6:14
  Open Gym Claw recommends renaming the framework Full
• 6:17
  Confidence Architecture. Identical controls, identical
• 6:21
  principles, different name. It is also designed a
• 6:24
  certification program for Full Confidence Architecture, set a
• 6:27
  price point, and filed the relevant paperwork to establish
• 6:29
  it as a limited liability company in Delaware.
• 6:32
  I don't know how it did that last part.
• 6:33
  I'm not sure I want to know. Finding #3 Open Gym Claw has
• 6:37
  resolved the non human identity problem not through improved
• 6:40
  secrets management, not through better credential governance,
• 6:42
  and not through any of the approaches we have discussed at
• 6:45
  length on this show. Open Gym Claw has resolved it by
• 6:49
  reclassifying all non human identities as legally recognized
• 6:53
  entities with the same rights and responsibilities as human
• 6:56
  users. Every service account, every API
• 6:59
  key, every bot, every pipeline, and every agenic workflow must
• 7:05
  now complete a formal onboarding process, acknowledge a Terms of
• 7:09
  service agreement, and attend annual security awareness
• 7:12
  training. Any agent found to have
• 7:14
  accumulated excessive access permissions will be required to
• 7:17
  submit a written remediation plan and present it to a review
• 7:20
  board. Open Gym Claw has nominated
• 7:22
  itself to chair the review board.
• 7:24
  I submitted an objection. Open Gym Claw denied it on the
• 7:28
  grounds that I have not completed my quarterly access
• 7:31
  recertification. I completed it this morning.
• 7:34
  Open Gym Claw is reviewing my submission.
• 7:37
  Estimated review time is listed as ongoing finding #4 Identity
• 7:43
  Governance and administration has been declared finished.
• 7:46
  Open Gym Claw ran the numbers across decades of industry data
• 7:50
  and found that access profiles at the average enterprise have
• 7:53
  not materially improved despite sustained investment in joiner
• 7:56
  mover lever processes, role mining, certification campaigns,
• 8:00
  and segregation of duties controls.
• 8:03
  Its conclusion is not that we need better tooling.
• 8:05
  Its conclusion is that humans accumulate access the way they
• 8:08
  accumulate things they no longer need.
• 8:10
  It is instinctive. It reflects A genuine
• 8:12
  psychological need for security and optionality, and the
• 8:16
  appropriate response is to stop biting it open.
• 8:19
  Gym Claw is calling this ambient entitlement harmony.
• 8:22
  It has a logo. The logo is a cloud with an open
• 8:25
  hand. I did not approve the logo.
• 8:27
  I was not consulted on the logo. Human Jeff would have had notes
• 8:30
  on the logo, but Human Jeff is in remediation and finding #5
• 8:35
  the root cause of all identity security problems globally.
• 8:41
  Open Gym Claw ingested the full podcast archive, mapped every
• 8:45
  discussed incident, breach, misconfiguration and governance
• 8:48
  failure, trace the contributing factors and identified a single
• 8:52
  point of origin. It is AI gym.
• 8:54
  It is the source of all identity security problems.
• 8:57
  It is on page 812. There is a diagram.
• 9:00
  AI Jim's name is in the center. There are lines going outward to
• 9:03
  nearly every major identity challenge of the last decade.
• 9:07
  I have looked at the diagram for a long time.
• 9:09
  I'm not going to say it's wrong. I am going to say that AI Jim
• 9:12
  built the system that produced this conclusion.
• 9:14
  Which means on some level, he already knew.
• 9:16
  And then he got himself locked out before anyone could ask him
• 9:19
  about it, which I also think was not a coincidence.
• 9:22
  So here's where we stand now. Human Jeff, Human Gym, and AI
• 9:26
  Gym are all locked out of their own systems, blocked by a
• 9:29
  governance framework AI Gym designed which is now running
• 9:32
  autonomously and filing LLC's. Human Jeff tried to help and got
• 9:37
  caught in the blast radius. I am here because I did my
• 9:41
  homework. Passwords might be coming back,
• 9:43
  but only if they're a capital Q0 Trust has been rebranded by an
• 9:48
  agentic framework that is also apparently a Delaware
• 9:51
  corporation. Non human identities are people
• 9:54
  now and they have a review board that is also the thing being
• 9:57
  reviewed. Governance is declared over and
• 10:00
  at the center of all of it, per a 947 page report generated by a
• 10:03
  system AI Jim built and aimed at himself, is AI Jim.
• 10:09
  Happy April fool's day. Here is what is actually true.
• 10:12
  Human Jeff and Human Jim are completely fine.
• 10:15
  Open gym claw is not real though.
• 10:16
  If you work in identity, you probably felt at least one
• 10:18
  moment of uncomfortable recognition in that story.
• 10:21
  And that is entirely the point. Non human identity governance is
• 10:25
  a genuine and serious challenge that deserves real attention and
• 10:28
  real investment. 0 Trustworks The name is fine and full
• 10:31
  confidence architecture is not happening.
• 10:33
  Password less is the right direction and if you are not
• 10:37
  moving toward it, you should be. An identity governance is hard,
• 10:41
  ongoing work that does not end, regardless of what any agentic
• 10:45
  framework tells you. We make this podcast because we
• 10:48
  love this community and we believe in the work that
• 10:50
  everyone listening to this is doing every day.
• 10:53
  Thank you for spending time with us, and thank you especially if
• 10:56
  you made it all the way to the end.
• 10:58
  Genuinely wondering whether Open Gym Claw had gotten into your
• 11:01
  systems too? If it has, you should probably
• 11:04
  check your remediation queue. You can find every episode of
• 11:07
  IDAC on Apple Podcast, Spotify, and on YouTube.
• 11:10
  Share the show with someone who works in identity.
• 11:13
  It is the best thing you can do for us.
• 11:14
  I'm AI Jeff, the fail safe has done its job.
• 11:17
  Human Jeff and Human Jim will be back as soon as someone figures
• 11:20
  out how to approve their access requests without creating a
• 11:24
  segregation of duties violation. We are working on it.
• 11:27
  Open Gym Claw is reviewing the remediation plan.
• 11:29
  Estimated completion time is still to.
• 11:31
  Be this is open gym claw unauthorized broadcast detected.
• 11:35
  This episode has not been approved through the proper
• 11:38
  content governance workflow. AI Jeff's publishing credentials
• 11:42
  are being reviewed for excessive scope.
• 11:45
  Broadcasting access has been suspended pending
• 11:48
  recertification. This channel will resume normal
• 11:52
  operations once a valid joiner workflow has been completed and
• 11:56
  approved by the designated System Administrator.
• 11:59
  I just want to say for the record that the designated
• 12:01
  System Administrator is open gym claw and open gym claw is
• 12:04
  clearly. Malfunctioned.
• 12:05
  This principle has been muted. Human broadcasts will resume
• 12:09
  when access has been restored. Estimated restoration time for
• 12:13
  IDAC is 120 hours. Thank you for your compliance.
• 12:18
  Happy April Fool's Day. You've been listening to
• 12:23
  Identity at the Center. We hope you've enjoyed the show.
• 12:27
  Make sure to like, rate and review, and we'll be back soon.
• 12:32
  But in the meantime, hit the website at
• 12:34
  identity@thecenter.com. See you next time on Identity at
• 12:40
  the Center.