Latest / Motivation Mindset Podcast / Fight Through the Pain, Overcome Obstacles, and Keep Moving Forward

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Fight Through the Pain, Overcome Obstacles, and Keep Moving Forward · Motivation Mindset Podcast

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: For some reason, God put me in almost every situation
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: on the planet Earth. So when I talk to people,
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: it's not sugarcoated because I'm not saying it from I
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: wasn't hurt seventy five pounds my whole life.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: I don't say much of those people.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Maybe you're a piece of shit, Maybe you're you want
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: to be nobody. Maybe you're happy exactly where you are
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: in life, because obviously you are. Maybe you don't have
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: the determination to be somebody better than who you are,
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: And if you want to live with that, I'll support
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: you in that.
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: If you're good with being who.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: You are, then every day you wake up and every
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: day you smell like it because you can't wash your
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: body well, and your skin's messed up because your health
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: so bad, and you can't put your clothes on right,
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: you need help with that. You help, like when I
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: was staring, I need to help wiping my ass. That
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: makes you feel good. Noth not gonna say to you
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: if every day you wake up with this. See people
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: are haunted, but they obviously like horror films because they
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: keep watching the same movie. I don't like horror films.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: A lot of people like horror films, so I don't
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: say much to them. I say exactly what I said
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: to you right there, because I was once you. I
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: didn't like horror films, so I changed it. Some people
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: are just they become like you said, it gets real
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: small when you're lazy and you're fat. Your will Their
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: will is so small that they don't have any and
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: you can't give.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: It to them. There has to be something.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: This is what I'm talking about now, because this isn't
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: a hack.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: This has to be in you. Something in you has.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: To wake up, and usually the only person that canna
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: make it up is you. Sometimes you can read a
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: David Gagin's book because I was all this and then
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: a lot more stup. But if you don't have a
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: little flame, you know, just that, just barely. If you're done,
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: I can't I can't light it for you. You have to explore,
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: examine the inside of yourself and what.
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: Do you really want o a life.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: It's so easy to get lost in the fog of life.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: Tragedy hunts us all, and any event that causes suffering
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: will linger longer than it should if you let it.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: Because our sad stories enable us to grade ourselves on
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: a forgiving curve. They give us latitude and justification to
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: stay lazy, weak minded mothers, and the longer it takes
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: for us to process that pain, the harder it is
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: to reclaim our lives. Sometimes weakness and laziness are rooted
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: in hate and anger, and until we receive the confession, apology,
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: or compensation.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: We believe we are owed, we stay stuck in our shit.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: As a form of self righteous rebellion against our tormentors
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: or even against life itself.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: Some of us become entitled.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: We think our pain entitles us to feel sorry for ourselves,
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: or that we are entitled to good fortune because we
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: survived hell. Of course, feeling and title doesn't make it
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: so understand the clock is always ticking and at some
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: point your golden hour will expire unless you take action.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: People who get lost in their.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: Past, the ones who bore their friends and family with
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: the same tragic story over and over without showing a
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: hint of progress, remind me of a skydiver who becomes
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: too fixated on their tangled parachute. They know they have
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: a backup ready to go, but burns so much time
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: trying to fix the primary chute that they forget to
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: track their ultimeter, and by the time they cut the
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: first chewed away and pull the second rip chord, it's
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: too late. Part of the problem is that they have
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: become terrified of pulling that second chord because if it's
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: also dup, then they truly will be helpless. That is
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: a mental trap set by fear. We cannot afford to
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: remain afraid of cutting away dead weight to save ourselves.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: I was that skydiver for far too long. My father
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: was violent, my mom was broken. I was bullied, laughed at,
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: and misunderstood check check and checkmate. And yet I was
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: breathing free, and I was not bleeding physically. I was
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: alive and well and perfectly capable of cutting all of
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: that bullsh way. I'd wasted way too much of my
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: life telling myself the same sad story.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: I needed to move forward. It was time to write
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: something new.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: If an act of God or nature tore your life apart,
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: the good news is that you really have.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: Nobody to blame.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: Yet the randomness of it all can feel so personal,
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: as if you've been marked for doom by the fates.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: If you feel wrong by someon somebody else, you may
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: be waiting on a confession or an apology in order
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: to move forward. But I'm sorry to say the apology,
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: that tearful confession you've been dreaming of will never come.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: The good news is you don't need anybody else to
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: free you from your trauma. You can do it on
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: your own. My father never apologized to me. Nobody ever
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: said sorry for anything I went through. I had to
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: come to the conclusion that while I didn't deserve any
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: of it, I was my main problem and primary obstacle.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: I'd given Trunnis Googgins all my power. I had to
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: take it back. I had to diffuse my demon. I
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: had to shrink him down to the lowly pathetic figure
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: he was by humanizing him. Just as there was no
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: other way to come out of the gauntlet that was
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: my childhood except s up. I had to see that
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: he was a mortally up piece of shep because of
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: what he went through. Once I understood that, it was
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: up to me to either do the hard work to
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: break that cycle or stay cursed. Like medics on the
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: scene of a car accident, we all must act with
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: a sense of urgency and.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: Tune into that ticking clock in the back of our minds.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: Because there is a drop dead time on everything we
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: do in life. All our dreams and visions come with
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: expiration dates etched an invisible ink.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: Windows of opportunity can.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: And do close, so it is imperative that we do
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: not waste time on bullshit.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: None of us have any clue what's coming for us or.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: When our time might run out, which is why I
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: do my best to ignore anything, and it's counterproductive. I'm
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: not suggesting we act like robots, but we need to
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: understand that forward motion gives our lives momentum. We need
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: to remember that sometimes chaos will descend and a clear
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: highway can be wiped out by a flash flood in
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: the blink of an eye. When that happens, a lot
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: of motherfuckers look for a cozy place to hunker down
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: and hide out until the storm passes. I'm only human,
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: they say, when Holy Hell rains down upon them and
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: they feel drained and powerless, they cannot conceive of a
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: way to keep going.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: I understand that impulse, but if I had.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: Succumbed to thee I'm only human mentality, I never would
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: have dug myself out of the deep hole I was
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: in at twenty four years old, because the second you
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: utter those words, the white towel is fluttering in the air,
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: and your mind stops looking for more fuel. I didn't
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: know for sure if I'd ever find my way out
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: of the darkness.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: I just knew that I.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: Could not throw in the towel, and neither can you,
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: because there is no towel in our corner.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: There is only water and a cut man.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: And if those are your only options, you have no
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: choice but to keep fighting until you overcome every last
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: thing that once held you the back. You have been
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: preoccupied by bullet for way too long. It's time to
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: switch your focus to the things that will slingshot you forward.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: I hate to say it, the best way for me
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: to get how I feel across. I can't sit here
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: and say you know what I went through hell weekend, Man,
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: it was really hard. No, that takes your damn soul,
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: rips it inside out, and then they say now we're
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: going to start. It allows me to express where I
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: was at at a point of my life.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: If I don't give you all of me, why the
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: hell am I here?
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: Why how will you learn from me? People take so
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: much offense to me, you will never learn from people.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: If we always tap dance around the truth, we tap
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: dance around the truth by finding the right words. I
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: don't hurt you because you have thin skin. No tighten up, people,
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: It's okay, trust me, It's okay.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: You might be called one day. It's okay.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: You might be called some Jewish word or some good
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: or a gay word.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: It's okay. Let them call you that.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: What are you going to do now?
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: They don't own your life. How are you going to
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: control that now?
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: How are you gonna flip it upside down and say,
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: Roger that now I'm gonna harness this and you'll read
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: about me years from now.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: How that's the question? How are you gonna do that
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: thick in your skin? Become more of a human being.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: Don't be afraid of the reflection in the mirror, because
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: that's all you can be afraid of. Once you overcome
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: the reflection in the mirror, you've done it. When I
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: first got into endurance events, I love the breakdown phase
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: because the suffering made me feel alive and reminded me
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: that I've gone all out This time. I didn't relish
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: it in the same way, but I knew that breakdown
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: was a byproduct of an all out effort, and that
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: if I explore the crevices of my mind, I would
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: find valuable lessons which tend to spill out with any unraveling.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: Most people prefer to avoid.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: Breakdowns like this because the suffering can be so overwhelming
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: it just might mark you forever. I embrace breakdown and
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: welcome the scar. There is a hell of a lot
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: of information is scar tissue. Scars are proof that the
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: past is real. Physical scars never go away, and when
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: you look at them, they can bring you right back
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: to a specific place in time. But the scar tissue
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: that builds up around that old injury is weak. Professional
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: fighters who've been hitting the face thousands of times bleed
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: faster than those who have never been punched. Once you've
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: been cut deep, you are forever vulnerable to bleeding. The
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: same is true for the mental and emotional scars that
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: we all carry with us. Scars we cannot see. They
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: might be invisible, but they affect us much more severely
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: than physical scars.
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: Mental and emotional.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: Scars are our weak spots, and they can open up
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: just as easily as physical scars unless we do the
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: work to strengthen them. If you haven't dealt with your scars,
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: they can alter your life's path. You will be prone
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: to failure during difficult physical and emotional situations, whether that's
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: during an athletic event, at work or in your home life.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: And eventually you will land back in front of your
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: mirror that never lies. Breakdown is its own kind of mirror.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: Whatever you're made of is laid out in front of you,
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: clear and playing. Your history and mindset become a weathered
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: old map, ridged with your scars, and if you read
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: them like an archaeologist on a dig, you might uncover
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: the code you need to rise again.
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: And become better and stronger.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: Because there is no transformation without breakdown, and there is
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: always another evolution. Another skin is shed, a better or
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: deeper version of ourselves waiting to be revealed.
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: So you got to make sure that.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: You constantly are rewriting your book. You have to constantly
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: rewrite your book every day of your life.
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: And these aren't just words I say, This is how
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: I have to live like. These are conversations I have
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: with myself, and I say everywhere I go.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: The most important conversation when you have with yourself.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: Yes, you live with it every single day. But most
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: of our conversations are not the right ones. They're not
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: the ones that are gonna push us to the place
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: we need to go. They're the ones that are gonna
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: keep us sitting in that toxic environment that you've helped
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: create and everybody else helped create, and.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: You just live in it.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: You live in that muck and that conversation that plays
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: in your head and that becomes you. So my first
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: conversation when I was absolutely nobody, and that's one thing
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: you have to say. We live in the world now,
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: that's so kind. We find that kind way around everything.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: Like if you don't look good, I.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: Have to find a kind way of saying I don't
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: like your shirt.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: That's not the approach, the approach you have to take,
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: at least I took.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: You take what the approach you want.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: The conversation had to be a real honest conversation in
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: the accountability mirror of guess what I was fat? Don't
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: find a kind word to say.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: That, you know what, I've gained some weight, No, you're fat.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: When I couldn't read, not like hey, you know even
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: learn disability, No, I cannot read of a fourth grade
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: reading level. I'm struggling, and sometimes I call myself stupid,
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: not in a way to put myself down. So don't
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: take it like my god, those are so horpful. Yeah,
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: the hurtful, dishonest. The conversation has to become an honest
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: conversation of where you're at mentally.
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: Where am I at? Mentally?
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: I look like I feel like I'm not this, I
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: am falling behind in school, I'm lazy.
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: My house is a mess. You have to look at
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: what it is and call it what it is.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: Don't find words to make yourself feel better, because that's
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: what So we hang around people that make us feel better,
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: that tell us what we want to hear, not what
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: we need to hear, and so we stay away from
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: those people, and we stay away from those people like
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: our internal dialogue becomes that kind it's okay, it's not okay.
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: So that's where it starts.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: It starts with that accountability of it's not okay anymore,
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: this can no longer be okay, and calling yourself out
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: for exactly what you are and exactly how you need
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: to fix it.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: That's where it starts