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Faith Builders with Host Trisha and Mickey Ep#007- Reconciliation! · One Voice Many Conversations

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_01: Hello everyone.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to another episode of Faith Builders.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: I am your host, Mickey, and joining me today is my co-host Trisha.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: We are going to be talking to you today about reconciliation.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: And we have lots and lots of scripture to share with you today.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: And um I'm excited to get this podcast going.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: So let's welcome Trisha in and say hello.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: Hi.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_01: Hi.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_01: So simple, I love it.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: We've been talking about um a lot of different categories lately, but um, Trish, what what was it that today that made you think, you know, we really should talk about this topic today?
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_03: Um there are so many people that are at odds with each other, you know, we got even wars going on and things going on.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_03: And if somebody would just talk to somebody or try to make it right, try to make amends, you know, and um I have a lot of unreconciled people that have been, it's like a family thing, friends, you know, people leave, people pass away.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_03: And I was just thinking about death, and I was on the bridge on the Bay Bridge, which is a bridge that my dad um worked on.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_03: He was one of the engineers, and when I was on this bridge, I thought, wow, you know, it's the bridge is so long, and it just stirred up reconciliation to me because sometimes it seems like it's so long to be reconciled to people, you know, because of their stubbornness or their stubborn ways, or you know, I've always had a heart of reconciliation, even as a child.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_03: I used to be like, I wish everybody would just get along, you know.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_03: I I I I used to witness people like these two, even in in school, you know, you'd have a group of actually, I actually just remembered, I experienced that myself.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_03: I was in this group of girls um in fifth grade, and they were doing this dance.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_03: Um, get your back up off the wall, dance, come on, you know, and so we had our back.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_03: We turned around, we clapped our hands, and we did this little dance.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I had been practicing with these girls all week, right?
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_03: And I had transitioned from um, you know, um Johnson Park School to um a different school, which oh wait, was it no?
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_03: I was at Johnson Park School.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I was from Coverlaud School to Johnson Park, so I had to make new friends, you know, and all these friends knew each other since kindergarten.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I was in, you know, from third grade to fifth grade, I was at Johnson Park School.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_03: So we were all like, you know, together and having fun, and I had all these girlfriends, and um when there was a new girl that came, and she was really pretty, really cute girl, and um they they kind of clicked with her and they really liked her, so they wanted her to do it, and they kicked me out, and I was so upset, and all week my friend Crystal was um, you know, she was my best friend, but she was like, do this, do something with me, and I didn't want to do it, I did not want to do what she was doing, she was making a joke, and the joke was um I don't remember the joke to this day.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_03: All I remember is what I had to say, and it was a joke about a cat, and um, everybody laughed, and I was the standing ovation, and I had to be a mad, angry cat, and I was actually internally mad, and I was like, you know, and I was like doing this, you know, and everybody was on the floor, and I was like, Well, I'm glad they laughed about it, but I was still mad because as I watched the girls all dance together, I was like, that was supposed to be me, you know.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_03: But you know what?
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_03: I think I wasn't meant to be a dancer, you know what I'm saying?
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_03: Even though it's fun to dance and stuff like that, it was just not my thing.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_03: And um, I was always meant to use my voice.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_03: And um, when I realized that when when I was a Christian and I reconciled to Christ and I reconciled to him, you know, he he chose me and he wants me to use my voice.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_03: And since then, it seems like everything wants to shut me up, you know?
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, I want to tell everybody about Jesus, you know.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_03: So, you know, and and my dad passed away, my mom, my best friend and spiritual mom, and like a bunch of family members.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_03: And it's like, oh, I wish I would have had one last word with them, or you know, what can I remember about them?
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_03: What can I think positive about them, you know?
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_03: And it's like I I really wish I had that one last day, you know, but we're not gonna get that when they when they move on to the other side, you know, we're not gonna get any last words.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_03: So I always like to leave everything un you know, not unresolved, but resolved.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_03: But when you have people that don't want to resolve it and they hate you for no reason, and they're like, oh, you know, and it's crazy what people think about you because of what's in their, you know, the enemy is in their head, and the enemy's like, oh, you know, she's doing this.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_03: One time I looked at a girl and I was like, Oh, I was thinking, oh, she's so cute, you know.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_03: And um, I really liked her purse, you know, and I was like, Oh, I like that purse.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_03: I'm a purse person.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_03: And she goes, What are you looking at?
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I was like, oh and I and I get scared because it's like she wants to beat me up.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_03: And uh when I when I was in high school, let's go forward.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_03: Um, in high school, there was this one girl who like thought I called her the B-word, and I did not.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_03: I was trying to get into the building because I was supposed to do a makeup test and I needed to get in the building.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, hey, hey, hey, let me in, let me in.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like banging on the door.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_03: And she looks at me and walks away.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, why does she do that?
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_03: I was just like kind of mouthing it, you know, like, what is going on?
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_03: And um later I get there's rumors.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_03: I finally got in actually, and then there's rumors going around that this girl's gonna beat me up, and I'm like scared to death.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_03: So I went to the the dean of the school, and we got reconciled all right, because she was coming towards me to probably clothesline me or something, and then that's you know, I don't know what she was gonna do, but then the dean of the school was like, What's going on here?
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_03: So he reconciled us, and I was like, I never would say that about you.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_03: Why would I say that about you?
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_03: And then after that, we were fine.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_03: But there's unreconciliation comes from misunderstandings and stinking thinking, you know, and I hate that.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_03: And and it's it's like, and you know, we if we do have that, we should repent and move forward, you know, not backwards and not nurse, hearse, and curse, nurse, hearse, and nurse, rehearse, and curse, nurse, hurt, uh, rehearse and curse.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_03: Say that three times fast, you know.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I have this book, uh Treasures Out of Trauma, that I I've read a few times, and it's in there, you know, don't nurse, rehearse, or curse, you know, and um, you know, we're strong enough to overcome it, to believe it, to believe that we're transformed by the renewing of our mind.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I know that when I look up the word reconciliation, basically it says, you know, to restore a friendly relationship.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I don't know about you, but for myself, not all recol reconciliation um um went south because of a friendly relationship, but um it usually 99% of the time it went south because of a misunderstanding or um a misconception or um two parties don't know the whole story on the behalf of each other.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: And also, you know, it talks about um it says um the action of making one view or behalf compatible with another.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I love that because we a lot oftentimes we want to emphasize our side of the story, my side, my side, and they want to emphasize theirs, and that's why we can't risk reconcile because we're stuck in our you know, in our own half on our own beliefs, but we need to make it relatable and comparable to where the reconciling a reconcilation can happen between two people because two people, if they cannot budge at all with their side of things, and we all see things differently.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: Not everybody sees things exactly as they are, but I do believe that um when we're reconciling with someone, we have to kind of we have to kind of step back a little bit, listen to what they have to say, and then we have to try to figure out am I gonna be able to be relatable or uh or compatible with this person or comparable with this person, or am I just gonna be mean and stick to my ground and no matter what I say, my way is it?
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I think a lot of times not it's not always that what we think is wrong, but the other person isn't understanding or receiving or it's or they're not to be rude, but sometimes they're just missing the boat, you know.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: They're like, I have no idea what you're saying, but I disagree.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: But if you can't if you can't agree to disagree, it sometimes the reconciliation is gonna stay sealed.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: You will not reconcile anything.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I know like we talked about before we started recording, like with our mom and with our moms, and uh me and my mom had a really bad love-hate relationship.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of people would just be irritated to be around us because we would get along one minute, be fighting the next minute, and get along, and it was kind of like a you know, cats and dogs.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: One minute it's raining and porn, and the next time it's sun's shining, and we're all snuggled up together, you know, like it's so weird the relationship that we've got to be able to do.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's so crazy.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: And people would be like, What is wrong with you two?
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, a lot of people don't understand that my mom didn't raise me.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: I was raised in foster homes.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: I had several different people raising me from the time I was two to fifteen and a half, and then I took care of my mom financially um most of my adult life.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I did a lot for my mom.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_01: Not that I, you know, not that I um need, you know, um a pat on the back or anything for that.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not trying to boast about that.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: But the thing was I did a lot for my mom, and my mom still treated me horribly 99% of the time, and I just got fed up with it, and I was like, I do not, I don't have to put up with this.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: I don't have to tolerate it anymore.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: So I would lash back out at her.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: And because of the way I was raised, I wasn't raised how to reconcile in peace.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_01: My reconcile my reconciliation was not peaceful usually.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_01: The resolution is what I wanted, but it wasn't a peaceful one.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: I just wanted her to stop what at whatever cost.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_01: And so even though we finally reconciled about three years before she passed away, we started actually having a mother-daughter bond that we had never had in our entire life.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: We actually started it, and of course, you know, she died and all of that, that's a whole nother story for another day.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: But still, we started working on our bond, but we still had the same mannerisms, the same behaviors, the same little if you pushed my button, I was gonna get, you know, I was gonna go off the wall.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna go off the deep end.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_01: If I said one wrong thing to her, or if I triggered anything from our past, our past kept me and my mom in bondage for a long time.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I, you know, I wish we could have reconciled sooner than waiting until three years before she died.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm glad we got to reconcile, but I really feel like we wasted a lot of time.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I think, you know, even in that reconciliation, it took a lot of work, even for the three years that we had, just to try and get along because we were so used to being at odds, it was hard for us to be reconciled.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: We're like, oh wait, we made up, we can't be fighting like this.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: Oh wait, wait, we we already forgave each other, we can't be doing this anymore.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know, so I think it depends on how long um, you know, you go without the reconciliation because it could be so damaging to you.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: And then you have that shame and that guilt.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: So when my mom passed away, I had such guilt, you know, and overwhelming guilt.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I was so I was in such despair because um I was super, super angry that God took her.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: And um, so I was mad at God, and I was mad that me and my mom did not get to spend the time together that we wanted.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: And it was reckoning.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_01: And so I could totally get why why you think, you know, hey, you know, like when like when me and my daughter get in a fight now, I don't want it to be like me and my mom, or me and my daughter have a disagreement, we walk away for a few minutes, but we come right back to each other and be like, hey, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it like that.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_01: Or or sometimes immediately, if I say something, I said something the other day in the kitchen and I didn't I said it, but I realized the way I said it came out rudely, and I said, Oh, by the way, I didn't mean that in a rude way, it just came out rude.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_01: You know, she started laughing, she's like, I know what you meant, Mom.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, Yeah, but I didn't want you to be offended or hurt because I wasn't trying to be hurtful, but it came out hurtful.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes we do that.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_01: And the thing is, is when you start learning to recognize um how we treat other people too, you don't have to reconcile as much because you're already correcting it right from the start.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: You're not waiting ten years later and going, Oh yeah, now I have to go back and correct all this stuff that's happened between us, you know what I mean?
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_01: So I think there's a lot to it with reconciliation.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_01: I know there's a lot of I think a lot of church hurt comes from unrecognized situations because we expect to walk into a church and we have expectations, you know.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: And if those expectations aren't met, and some things I think you you have to have an expectation.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_01: If it's not a church believing, Bible believing, um, believe in Jesus Christ died on the cross church, then then you know, you have the right to have that choice.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: But if it's a if it's a trivial or um something really petty or pathetic, like, oh, you know, I don't like that you know they serve coffee during church.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's disruptive.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we get petty on these things, and it's like, okay, well, some people start coughing and choking during church.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe they need to go get a coffee and something to drink so they stop coughing and interrupting the service.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe there's a reason for everything, you know.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: And it's it's just funny.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: So I love that you brought this subject up.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: And and um, so let's talk about kind of what you were talking about as well with your mom.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, she um we we I loved my mom.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_03: I was jealous for my mom.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_03: I wanted her attention.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_03: I always wanted to be with her, you know.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_03: And after my dad passed, it was like, oh, finally I get time with my mom.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_03: And I did, I had tons of time with her.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_03: We were doing stuff together, we were going to Starbucks together, and I was like, come to church with me, come to church with me.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_03: You know, she would not do it, she would not reconcile the fact that she did not want to come to church with me, and um so I was like, oh, you know, and and I just I wanted that, you know, and it was like this big dream to have everybody in my family at church, and that only happened at my dad's funeral.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_03: That's the only time it happened, and it was like a beautiful picture of heaven to me.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_03: Like it was like the it makes me emotional thinking about it because it's like this is what I want, this is the desire of my heart, and I don't think I'm ever gonna get it this side of heaven, but I wanted it, I wanted it so bad, and um because I am someone who just loves everybody, but I'm very misunderstood.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_03: Um, you know, I do have a lot of childhood hurts as well.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but I choose to stand in my transformation of who I am in Christ.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I don't choose to be that little girl that's the broken little girl anymore.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I'm not a little caterpillar, I'm a butterfly, you know, I'm transformed by renewing of our mind.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_03: And I have to I have to remember that, you know, a lot of people that aren't in church and they are not not just in church, but reading the Bible or knowing God or having a relationship with Him because that's where the reconciliation really is, is with Christ.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_03: But with my mom, I was frustrated with her because she wouldn't take ownership of stuff.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_03: And I never ever told her how upset I was with her ever.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_03: I always kept it inside.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_03: And so finally I told her, you know what, you need to take ownership of how you've been treating me.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_03: I don't like that, you know.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_03: And over the years you've done A, B, and C, you know, and um it she was kind of surprised and said, Oh, those things never happened.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, they did.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_03: I am not delusional, I know that you did that.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm like, you should say sorry to people, you know.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_03: But I said, you know what, mom, and here was my where my reconciliation came in was I forgive you.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_03: I said, but really you should ask the Lord to forgive you because this is God wants us to reconcile with him, and this is the one thing I talked to her about.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_03: My last words to her was the kingdom of God is at hand.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_03: He wants you, mom.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_03: He wants your you know, you to be one with him.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_03: I'm going to give you over to the Lord right now, and you need to spend time with the Lord.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_03: And right now we're taking we're gonna take a break.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_03: And then within that break, Mother's Day came and I sent her a beautiful necklace of her and my dad.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_03: Uh I don't even know where it went.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_03: Um, it for some reason it came up missing.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but then you know, she wrote about God's hope, and she had her Bible uh turned to a certain page.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_03: It was, I believe it was in Isaiah 30 something, I think it was 35, about the flowers being renewed and everything being renewed, you know, and it was just a beautiful picture of reconciliation and God's hope.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_03: You know, the deers are the the calves will be leaping, or the in the desert, the flowers are gonna bloom, you know, and it was just such a beautiful picture of I know my mom's reconciled with Christ.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_03: This really gave me a lot of comfort, you know.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_03: And um, you know, she she did these little things where she took turns with, you know, she would she could never really have unity with all of her kids at once.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_03: There always had to be someone that was on the outs.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_03: Before me, it was my from what I knew, it was one of my other siblings, and then another sibling before that.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_03: But then, you know what I mean?
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_03: But with the all of these events, my siblings have all disconnected from me, and there's no reconciliation because they're angry, and I think they're more grieving than angry.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I think they're angry with me because of whatever reason they have, you know, there's no reconciliation, and that's the thing that is the most grieving thing is because, like, well, if I die tomorrow, how are they gonna feel?
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_03: What if they die?
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_03: I know that I've done everything I could on my end to reconcile.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_03: This is probably the first time I've really openly talked about this, you know, and I'm not gonna stand in that grief anymore, you know.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_03: I do want that reconciliation, but more so what matters is is them being reconciled to Christ.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_03: So the only thing I can reconcile to is prayer and petition and keep praying for them and loving them in that in that direction, you know, because God does answer your prayers, you know, and um there is some family that does talk to me, and you know, they're you know, they don't understand what really the depths of what's happened and everything.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_03: Um, the other thing is, you know, I was also thinking about, you know, people in general, you know, lying.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_03: That's the thing that I don't put up with is lying and being lied to and being lied about.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_03: I don't I've never been a person to lie, and that's something my mother used to say is like, oh look at Trish, she can't even lie, you know, look at her face.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_03: She you can just tell.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_03: You could just tell she's guilty, you know.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_03: And like I had a habit of I love strawberries and I would always sneak into them.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_03: And she goes, I know it was Trish, she's in the bathroom, you know, and it's like, and I'm like, this, and she goes, right away, I would tell on myself.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_03: I always told on myself, I can never lie to my mom.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_03: Just the just her, you know, it's just her or my grandma.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_03: I could never lie to either one of them.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_03: And um over time, you know, um, God can heal anything, you know.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_03: But I have to stand in the transformation of who I am and keep myself in the reconciliation of Christ because you know, just like that bridge that broke, that earthquake, it broke so many years ago.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_03: This is what happens to people.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_03: It's a broken relationship, it's broken.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_03: When I do tend to retreat and run when I'm lied to or lied about, I'm like, okay, this person's not safe.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, and that's what I feel you should feel at church.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_03: Like, you should feel safe.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_03: You should feel like what you say to leadership isn't gonna go anywhere else.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_03: Um You should feel secure and encouraged.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_03: And once you start feeling discouraged and lied and lies start coming, then you're like, okay, I have to leave.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_03: I I can't be here no more.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_03: I can't, you know, and then and then when you hear digs, okay, like, you know, little snappy little digs towards you, like, well, dah.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_03: You know, you know, and you're like, where'd that come from?
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_03: Like, why are you being snotty to me?
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_03: Obviously, you have a problem that you haven't reconciled with, so maybe you should say something to me.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_01: I think with that, that so my my my daughter does that to me sometimes.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: And lately I've just been calling her out on it.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: Instead of just taking it, I've been calling her out.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, why did you say that?
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_01: And she's like, say what?
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I go, Well, you said that.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: And and I go, is it, you know, and I'm and I'm thinking, I'm taking it one way, and she's like, Well, I didn't mean it in that way.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_01: I just she goes, I didn't even realize I said it like that.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and so I'm glad I called her out on it because if not, I would have stayed mad at her for half an afternoon or whatever, because she said something or took or something that I took offense to, but she meant nothing by it.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: So I think when we when we say stuff, that's where that communication comes in, you know, and knowing that, hey, when this person's talking to us, is that really what they're trying to do?
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_01: Or is it not?
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_01: Because sometimes we could the enemy will sometimes whisper in our head, oh wow, they they said that so rude to you.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_01: What's up, you know, what's up with them?
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_01: Why are they acting like that towards you?
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_01: And then you're like, huh, what is that?
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and and then you're kind of then you get all offended, you're like, well, I didn't do anything.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I don't deserve to be talked to or treated like that, you know.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_01: And so, you know, her and I have gone back and forth with that because we're trying to we're trying to use our words to make them more effective and not be hurtful because we have a tendency to do that sometimes with each other.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_01: She'll say something, then I'll say something, and then, you know, and um because I'm like, stop being so rude.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you don't get to, you know, stop being like that.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I want to correct her if she's really being rude.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but if she's not being rude, she doesn't mean anything by it, then I need to know that because I don't want her, you know, just to be correcting a behavior that she doesn't realize, you know, that that's what she's doing, or I think that's what she's doing.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_03: I think I think some people are they don't know what they're doing when they do that.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_03: They're being passive aggressive.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, let's talk about 2 Corinthians 5.17 because I love what it says when it talks about um it therefore, if anything is in Christ, he is a new creation.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_01: We have to also remember um not everyone that we're addressing is a new creation in Christ.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_01: They may not be saved.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: So we also have to not only are we putting up with the enemy, but we're also sometimes dealing with people that are not saved, they are not new creations, and so you know, um I I love the scripture where it says the old has passed away, behold, um the new has come like the butterfly.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_01: I you know, I like how you relate this to the butterfly.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's so it's such a perfect analogy, and all of this is from God who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_01: He gave that to us.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_01: His word actually says he gave you the ministry of reconciliation.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_01: But you know what's hard for me to swallow in that word is sometimes I think they need to come to me.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_01: They hurt my feelings.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_01: Why am I the one who has to go reconcile with them?
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_01: And that's our pride.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_01: For me, that's a pride issue.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh, they make me so mad.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_01: But here's one thing I want to point out.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_01: If you have already taken the steps to reconcile with somebody and they don't accept the reconciliation, it is no longer on you.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_01: It is on them.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: God has freed you from it, and you should not be worried about it anymore because I had an issue with um a family member, and I remember asking this person to forgive me.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_01: We both were wrong.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_01: We both had some, you know, we both were angry, we both said some things that we should not have said.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_01: And um immediately I felt bad.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_01: They did not, they didn't feel bad at all.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_01: They just wanted to keep on, and I was like, I'm not gonna do this with you.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I literally said in the middle of the conversation, this is the enemy.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_01: This is literally the enemy doing this.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm done.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I stopped the conversation after fighting for 20 minutes with this person, and they still kept wanting to fight.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_01: And then then when I said this is the enemy, they mocked God in the moment because they didn't they had disbelief in me even announcing that the enemy was present.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_01: And they're like, What, oh really?
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's the enemy's fault.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'm pretty sure it ain't the enemy talking here, and you know, and I'm pretty sure that you know this is ridiculous.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I'm not gonna even go there with you because this is not the time, but I apologized.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: And then they left and I called them on the phone and I apologized again.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_01: And then I called them and apologized again, and I asked them finally, will you forgive me for the things that I said because I should not have said them?
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: And they would not answer me.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_01: And that bothered me a lot, you know.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, you know what, if they don't want to forgive me, it's no longer on me, it's on them.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_03: The same exact thing happened to me with my mom.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_03: Like, so I am the people that were around, I apologize to all of them, including my mom.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_03: I sent her a note saying, you know, I'm sorry that you know I got a little vocal about this, you know, um, on my part.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_03: If I hurt you in any way, but I and I was trying to still reconcile, but I still wanted her to take ownership, and she wouldn't.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_03: She refused.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_03: And then instead I had people who were um, and I won't say who they were.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_03: Um there was a family member, I'll just say that, who screamed at me and then told me off in a in a message, then um a pastor and his wife.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm not gonna say who they were, but I apologize to all these people that, you know, I had a lot of hurt, you know what I mean?
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_03: And it's something that was between me and my mom.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_03: So I let them know it, you know, this is something that was long overdue that we me and my mother needed to talk about.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_03: But what happened, what ended up happening is everybody around this whole thing was gartering her more against me, and you know what I mean?
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_03: So it was like this big blown-up thing that didn't need to happen, you know, and part of it was, you know, you know, immaturity.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, this was six years ago, and from someone who never would speak her mind, meaning me, to finally saying, I need healing from this, let's deal with this today, you know.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_03: Instead, it didn't work out, you know, it just made it worse, you know.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_03: So it's a very touchy subject with reconciliation, but thanks be to God that he looks at us with eyes of reconciliation.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_03: Like he wants to us to reconcile our hearts to him.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_03: And I think this is where we come to him, you know, and it's up to us to pray for the people who don't have it in their heart to reconcile, you know, and they want to continue lying or they want to continue, you know, with this vicious circle of unreconciliation, being angry and hostile, you know, and there's no reason for it.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_03: My conversation between me and my mom should have stayed between me and her, not everybody in the whole town, you know, and that's what ended up happening is this this family member went around and went over here and went over there, and they all had these issues, you know.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_03: But um, I don't know what else I can say, except for I was sorry at the time that it happened that way.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_03: Not that I didn't need to say anything.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_03: Anyway, there's always a way, and that's through Jesus, is to reconcile.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I remember my mom, she passed away like right away, like four within four months of that conversation.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_03: She was gone.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_03: So if there's anything you ever want to say to someone, you should always reconcile.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_03: And I did in a in a letter, and I and I tried reconciling, and you know, that person has to be willing to come towards you.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_03: But the biggest thing was she reconciled to Christ, you know, and and we were moving towards each other in a really beautiful way, and she ended up writing me a letter of you know, a love letter.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_03: I call it a love letter.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_03: She wrote me a letter, and I had sent her a letter saying how much I loved her and a card and a teddy bear and um a necklace, you know, and so there was a sense of reconciliation, but on the outside, the enemy didn't want that.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_03: He was using other people to push it away.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_03: And and that's what's hard, you know, when other people get in the mix, they lack the maturity and they don't know what they're doing.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_03: Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do, and that's another part of reconciliation is forgiveness.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_03: We have to have a heart of forgiveness for them because they don't know what they're doing, they don't know why they're doing the way they are, they're not encouraging you any.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_03: So there is time that you should separate from that, but it the broken bridge, I always see that broken bridge, you know, like you can't cross it, you know.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_03: And what happened in San Francisco when the earthquake happened, the the the top layer collapsed on the bottom layer, and people were crushed, you know.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_03: And to me, that's what unreconciliation unreconciliation looks like that.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_03: And then the other thing is is um, but when I was driving across the bridge and it was perfect, and there, you know, it was it was a long bridge, right?
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_03: To get to the other side, and I feel like that's what it's like with Jesus.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_03: You can get to the other side, you know, just like that.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_03: It's not this thing you have to work at, you come to him, and he reconciles with these.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_03: And then uh in Romans uh 5 10 it says we were reconciled to him through the death of Jesus on the cross, right?
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_03: And um that through the Son, Jesus.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_03: And if you think about a cross, it's like it's the bridge, you know.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_03: He he is the bridge, you know, he is the bridge between heaven and earth, you know.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_03: He's like, hello, I'm here, you know.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know else how else I can explain that, but I just seen this whole picture of you know, a completely perfect way of coming to Christ, and that's through repentance.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_03: That is the first thing.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_03: And what is repentance?
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_03: It's to turn away from, you know, it's not to keep going back to the old self and having those same old attitudes, it's the transformation, you know.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_03: You're already transformed, believe it.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_03: You know, and um, you know, like a baby elephant, you know, they put a stake in the ground, you know, and he can't get out of it because he's a baby elephant.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_03: You know, they tie him with a with a rope or chain, and um after a couple he struggles, and after a couple weeks, he realizes he's not strong enough to get out of that stake in the ground.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_03: But I'm here to say that we are grown, we can not look at the stake in the ground anymore, and it can be removed by the blood of Jesus.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_03: Like you're strong enough, you have the strength of an elephant or a lion or whatever, you know, you don't have to keep looking at that stake in the ground and you know, not believe who you are in Christ.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_03: You have to stand firm in who you are, you know, and it's and it's hard to redo your brain to realize wait a minute, I'm a new creation, I'm not a caterpillar, I'm a you know, but I'm a new creation in Christ.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_03: So we have to live that that likeness, you know.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_03: We have to have the attributes of Christ is in us, and the more we read our word, the more we get to know him, the more of a relationship we have with him, just like we want relationship with people, you know, like me and you, we've known each other for a long time, and we've we've always had this beautiful trust with each other because we love Jesus, and it's like the best relationship, you know, it's a Christ-like relationship, and we we encourage each other and we get to know more about God, and you say things that encourage me, and I say things that encourage you, and then we just keep going, you know, and we've both been through a lot of stuff, and we know the stuff we've been through, but we spur each other along to still stay in the reconciliation of Christ and not give up, you know, and we need that.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_03: We need people like that, we need encouragers, we need people to say, nope, remember who you are, you know, you're a new creation and you're loved by God, and you know, He sees you, He sees you, He hears you, He hears your heart, you know.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_01: We just need to prostrate our hearts towards Him, you know, and um Well, I think in um 2 Corinthians 5, like we started we were talking about a little bit earlier, where it talks about, you know, uh through Christ reconciled to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_01: It also says that um that um in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, which is really interesting that he says that not counting their not counting their trespasses against them and entrusting us the message of reconciliation.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_01: So and it also says, therefore we are ambassadors for Christ.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_01: So we are as Christians, we are the ones that are supposed to be helping reconcile, you know, um people back to Christ and you know, through um things that we have gone through with people, and if we have an issue with someone, like they say, turn the other cheek.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_01: Well, sometimes we have to take the first step, and and uh that's how we show who Jesus is in us by taking that first step.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_01: And it sometimes it's not always easy to do because sometimes you're approaching people that are not approachable, uh, people that are just gonna they're just gonna get in your face and they're not gonna they're gonna mock you, they're gonna mock God, they're gonna they're just not gonna be, you know, easy to deal with.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_01: But I think when we do it, uh God's gonna get us through it, and um, you know, that's where He He made us the ambassadors for Christ to be able to reconcile on behalf of Him, who He is, who Christ is, because Jesus reconciled for us, we should be returning that.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_01: And um sometimes we don't think about that when somebody does something wrong towards us, or there's a misunderstanding, or there's an argument or disagreement, whatever it is where reconciliation needs to take place.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_01: We if we stop and think about like what you said, the cross is a representation of a bridge.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_01: If if we want to, you know, a lot of people say, Oh, burn that bridge.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_01: Burn that bridge.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_01: No, you're not supposed to burn the bridge.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_01: You're not supposed to burn the bridge, you're supposed to fix the bridge, you're supposed to reconcile the bridge that went down the Bay Bridge that you're talking about, San Francisco, it it took the whole community and they went and they pulled people out of the wreckage, and then they fixed the bridge.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, it was it was really sad for those people that had to commute every day back and forth on that bridge after losing hundreds of people that died on that that day of that earthquake.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that is a really scary bridge, by the way.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_01: I've been on it many times.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's a very frightening bridge to be on.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um same with the Golden Gate Bridge, it's a huge bridge.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but God, you know, uh his bridge is even bigger.
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_01: The the cross, I mean, it may we we look at the cross like the cross isn't that big, yeah, it's huge.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_01: The cross is huge for us, and he reconciled for the entire world, not just not just one person.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_01: But if one person was to remain, he would still do it for that one person.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so we need to consider like God considers it, like, okay, we might be mad at that person, be like, oh, whatever, I'm done with him, I'm not even gonna try.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_01: We need to go and reconcile with them because God wants us to bring people to him, you know.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_01: And we can't do that if there's if there's a gap.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_01: And and that like, you know, you know how you talk at the bridge, how it opens up and then it closes.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_01: I always think, you know, we're like we're like this, one per one person's on one side, one's on the other, and like the bridge needs to come down, you know, and um and it and you and it will not ever come down like this.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_01: That's never happened, you know, or even the part that just goes up and turns, you know, so the bridges can go through.
• 39:15
  SPEAKER_01: It it has to work simultaneously.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes it's gonna take one person pushing the button for that that movement to happen.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that we I I think we get afraid.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_01: I think the enemy tells us, oh, they're not gonna accept you, they're not gonna forgive you.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_01: And even and even but the thing is is even if they don't, you need to go in with it, not looking at, well, um, if I don't get what I want out of this, you know, that's a negative mindset.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_01: We can't have that mindset.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_01: We need to we need to go in with a positive mindset and say, you know what, God, I don't know what the outcome of this conversation is gonna be, but I'm going to I'm gonna take your word on on what you say, and I'm gonna be an ambassador of Christ, and I'm gonna try to reconcile the situation.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_01: And all I'm asking you, Lord, is to help me through it.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_01: And if if they don't want to reconcile, Lord, then it's no longer on me.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's a wash.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_01: You gotta let it go.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we can't sit around and sulk in it.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_01: We have to let it go.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_01: God, God will deal with them.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_01: We have to look we sometimes we want to sort out God's laundry, and God doesn't always want us to, you know, because I'm gonna still dirty up, you know.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_03: So for my husband, he always gets these words, he's like, wait, don't do anything, wait.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_03: It's time to wait.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_03: So there's a time to wait on the Lord and wait for that bridge to come down, you know what I mean?
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_03: Like, there's nothing you can do.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_03: You've done everything you already could could have done, you've already talked about things, and for some reason the enemy is messing with their their mind, you know.
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_03: And um, I was thinking about this other um when my dad, it is a dangerous to work on that bridge, by the way.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah, very dangerous.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_03: People who are working on it, including my dad.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_03: Um, there was one day where um I don't know if it was this bridge, but it was one of the bridges that he worked on.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_03: Um he came back home and he was like, I need to take a day off.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_03: So this other guy who had a young family, he was like, hey, he was wanting, he was asking everybody, hey, I need some extra hours.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_03: Can you know someone give me some extra hours?
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_03: So my dad said, sure, I'll take the week off, you know, and you can have the hours.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_03: That day, it wasn't even this guy's fault in the position where my dad, I guess it was a transformer had hit the electricity and it shot straight down, and he was the grounding of it.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_03: And in the thing that he was uh, it's like a you know, moving this.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_03: I think it was a transformer, but it was a really super high, tall thing, and he was driving it.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_03: And somebody else moved something and it hit and it the electricity shot through and he was killed.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_03: You know, it's very dangerous to work on these bridges, you know what I mean?
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_03: Everything has to be very precise.
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_03: And my dad said, you know what?
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_03: I looked at the situation, and if I had been there, I would be gone.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_03: It would have been me.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, he was thanking God at the time, like, oh, thank God, you know, I'm okay, you know.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_03: But this poor guy, you know what I mean?
• 42:28
  SPEAKER_03: It's like he said he was sacrificed so much, and my dad was okay, you know, and he goes, It should have been me.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_03: My dad felt so guilty for that, you know, and so bad for that family, you know, and I would too, you know, but it's it's a sacrificial job.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_03: But look at what Jesus did.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_03: He sacrificed himself for us, and he was unrecognizable on the cross, you know, and then he rose on the third day, you know.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_03: And I really like that scripture um in Acts on repentance.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_03: That's a really good one.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_03: Um, do you want to read that?
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_03: Do you have that out?
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_01: Is that Acts 319?
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 43:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um, repent then and turn to God so that your sin may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 43:25
  SPEAKER_03: So you'll be refreshed and renewed.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_03: And to me, it's like you're stepping into just um still water.
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_03: When you repent and give everything to the Lord.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_03: Now, I was thinking about that too.
• 43:40
  SPEAKER_03: It's like um Jonah, you know, he had those few words that he said, and he was like, repent or you're gonna die, basically.
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_03: Like you guys are been bad.
• 43:51
  SPEAKER_03: It was the shortest sermon ever, and the probably the biggest revival where they were like insects in ashes, you know, and and They would go and it I was looking that up too, like um it it was ex you know, repentance is more than just oh I'm sorry, sorry hurt your feelings, you know, move on, you know.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_03: It's not that it that you know, you you don't just say sorry, like you have to really mean it in your heart.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_03: It means to be on your face, to grieve.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_03: You know, in the Bible they would rip their clothes off, you know, and they're like, ah, sackcloth and ashes, you know, it's extreme, it's like someone died.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_03: When you when you repent, it's like if you've never experienced somebody in your life that passed away that you really love and you know you're never gonna see again, and you're bawling your eyes out and you're wailing and you're crying, like when my grandmother passed away when I found out she passed away.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_03: I literally dropped to my knees.
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_03: My knees would would not work, and I wailed for her.
• 45:02
  SPEAKER_03: And this is how we should be when we repent, when we're sorry for hurting somebody, you know, we shouldn't do that to people, you know.
• 45:11
  SPEAKER_03: We should be wailing and crying and going to Christ and being like, you know, God, I'm sorry for my sins, like for real.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_03: And this is one of the experiences that I had.
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I had accepted Jesus, you know, and then it wasn't until I went to this um other like event, it was like a conference.
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_03: And the conference, the worship, everything, uh, somebody stood up and they spoke in tongues, and then someone interpreted what they said.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_03: And I was already walking to the front because the Holy Spirit was telling me, get on your knees.
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_03: And it was three times.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_03: And when I I kept, I thought someone was talking to me actually.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, who said that?
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_03: You know, and the third, and and and not like get on my knees, but you know, when someone hits you on the back of the knee and your knees buckle, yeah.
• 46:11
  SPEAKER_03: Well, that happened to me three times, and then I said, Did you say that?
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_03: Did you say that?
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_03: And everybody's looking at me like a no.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_03: And I was like, Oh, I think God's talking to me.
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_03: So I went up there and I it was just like um the way I grieved for my grandmother.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_03: My knees were not working.
• 46:32
  SPEAKER_03: I walked up to the front and they buckled as soon as I got there and I went boom, and it's almost I could see it in slow motion.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_03: Then I went down on my face and people started coming around and praying over me.
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_03: It was so encouraging.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_03: And um that's when I I just the Holy Spirit came into my heart, you know.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I experienced his unexpressionable, I mean, undescribable love, you know, inside of me.
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_03: It was like, it was like a sunset, you know, it was like the warm sunset.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_03: And I was like so happy.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, and I had so much energy, and I was like, if this is what heaven's like, I'm down, you know, like I I want to feel like this every day, you know.
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_03: Nothing in my body hurt.
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_03: Everything was like, I was completely just forgot.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_03: And you know what?
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_03: We should repent all the time.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_03: And he tells me a little often, you know, like when I'm going through something or when I'm hurt, he says, go to the cleft.
• 47:36
  SPEAKER_03: And the cleft is to me a safe place to hide in him, you know, and on your knees and in prayer.
• 47:44
  SPEAKER_03: And and someone was saying that the other day in my Bible study, you know, she goes to the cleft, and I'm like, Yeah, me too.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_03: You know, and it was like this is something God does, you know, and um but repentance is really a wonderful thing, it's glorious, it's giving God the glory, and he loves a repent of heart.
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_03: And I just picture a heart that is to completely surrender to the Lord.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_03: When you're completely surrendered to the Lord, you don't want to hurt anybody.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_03: If you hurt somebody and you're a leader, you go to you go to that lost sheep, you go to him.
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_03: That the sheep is hurt, you know.
• 48:23
  SPEAKER_03: He's getting over the fence.
• 48:24
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, go reconcile with him, go get him back.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_03: Don't don't wait months and months and months and months and hold on to your pride and your arrogance, you know.
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_03: Like go go over to that person, you know what I mean, and um be reconciled, and you should grieve for it.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_03: You should grieve for it, you should repent to the Lord for what you've done because you know you're if you're in leadership, you gotta be above reproach, you know.
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_03: And um then the other thing is is in Revelation 21, one through five.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, let me read that one.
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_01: I was just looking at it too.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_01: It says, Um, then I saw the new heaven and and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more.
• 49:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man, he will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.
• 49:36
  SPEAKER_01: He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more.
• 49:40
  SPEAKER_01: Neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more.
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_01: For the former things have passed away, and he who is seated on the throne said, Behold, I am making all things new.
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_01: And also he said, Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's a very powerful scripture.
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_03: And that's exactly the description that I felt that day.
• 50:07
  SPEAKER_03: That I I had no tears, I had no um pain in my body, I had no like you know, emotional distress, like I was completely just you know, feeling like I was as experiencing a little peace, a little part of heaven on earth, you know, and um heaven come down, break our walls down, you know what I'm saying?
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_03: Like um that's uh you know, break the bridge down so that you know we can come towards him because he is the bridge that is unbreakable, unshakable, you know, no earthquake, no nothing, and this earth can break the the what he did for us on the cross.
• 50:54
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's exactly true.
• 50:57
  SPEAKER_01: I think that you know, when we talk about it, when we talk about reconciliation and repentance, um, I think reconciliation is is a sign from repentance because if we have a repentive heart, then it's easier for us to want to reconcile.
• 51:11
  SPEAKER_01: If we don't have a repentative heart, then we're kind of stubborn.
• 51:15
  SPEAKER_01: We're we're kind of like um, you know, the the the description of the the leadership that refuses to reconcile, it says that um they are characterized as ungodly, stubborn, harmful, directly violating biblical mandate for leaders to be ministers of reconciliation.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's stubborn behavior characterized as arrogant, or in some cases like wolves carrying prey.
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_01: So I think it's important that whether you're a leader or not a leader, um if you're not repenting, you're not even gonna feel the need to reconcile because you're not there.
• 51:51
  SPEAKER_01: You're you're still sitting in your own sin.
• 51:53
  SPEAKER_01: But if you have um repented, God kind of starts to show you areas that need reconciliation.
• 52:01
  SPEAKER_01: You know, he'll he'll bring things to the surface for you.
• 52:04
  SPEAKER_01: So where God is like, okay, you've repented for this.
• 52:06
  SPEAKER_01: I think your heart um has healed enough, or or or you know, I think I can get through to you now, basically, because you know, you've been very repentive and um being more godly, you're not as stubborn, you're not being such a mule.
• 52:21
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of times we don't want to reconcile because of that stubbornness.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_01: And we again we're afraid of what they're gonna do, we're afraid of how they're gonna act.
• 52:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um, is it gonna start another fight?
• 52:32
  SPEAKER_01: Is it gonna cause another tenure uh void in my life with them or whatever, you know?
• 52:38
  SPEAKER_01: Because there's people in my life that I haven't talked to in years um because of reconciliation.
• 52:44
  SPEAKER_01: And um, it's not that I haven't wanted to, but when I I remember reaching out and trying to reconcile with them and they didn't want to reconcile.
• 52:51
  SPEAKER_01: So I was like, okay, I'm just gonna let it be.
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I asked them to forgive me and I said I was sorry, but that was it.
• 52:57
  SPEAKER_01: That's all I could do.
• 52:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I left it at that.
• 52:59
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, it hurts me because I want a relationship, I want my family around me.
• 53:03
  SPEAKER_01: I want to enjoy those occasions that you know I used to get invited to all the time, but because there's a conflict of interest, the rest of the family, you know, won't even there's no there's no invitations because they know that there's a feud going on between us.
• 53:21
  SPEAKER_01: So they're like, oh, if I invite this person, I can't invite that person, or if I invite this one, I can't invite that one.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_01: And they they pick and choose, you know, and I just tell them, you know, I don't you don't have to invite But you know, I mean I mean, okay, I miss it.
• 53:33
  SPEAKER_01: I want to be with my family, but I'm kind of a uh, you know, I'm kind of the black sheep in the family anyway, because I wasn't around my family.
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_01: I was raised in foster homes away from them, and so I didn't get to participate in a lot of stuff that they participated in, and they got to um, you know, develop that closeness that I didn't have with my cousins and my aunts and you know, all of that.
• 53:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I really I mean there's like 75, 80 cousins in my family, and I don't have I only have a relationship with a few of them.
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_01: But um, I am excited that I got to reconcile with my brother um these past six years.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_01: We finally got back in contact with each other because he was taken from me when I was seven.
• 54:11
  SPEAKER_01: He was adopted out, and um you know, and he was a protector of mine when I was really young.
• 54:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so um I was really like discouraged because I I felt my um my shield was taken away from me.
• 54:26
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like Captain America when he's when he takes his shield away, you know.
• 54:29
  SPEAKER_01: But um but when we got put back together um we we literally picked up right where we left off from when we were seven and nine.
• 54:37
  SPEAKER_01: It was so crazy.
• 54:38
  SPEAKER_01: We could talk about all the funny, stupid things we did as kids, and we would just reminisce and we'd laugh and and whatnot, and we'd just kind of skip all of the the ugly, hurtful, hard, abusive stuff that we went through.
• 54:48
  SPEAKER_01: We talked about that too, some of it, but he told me that um his church asked him to do a like I think an 18-minute testimony, you know, about how God changed his life, because now he runs and he has run a men's ministry for drugs and um alcohol abuse and a rehab or whatever you want to call it.
• 55:07
  SPEAKER_01: But he he's running that and he does a lot at the church, and they've been asking him to do a testimony.
• 55:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, do it, you need to do it.
• 55:14
  SPEAKER_01: And he's like, I don't think 18 minutes is long enough for me to say anything.
• 55:17
  SPEAKER_01: He's like, I got more than 18 minutes of a testimony.
• 55:20
  SPEAKER_01: I go, I know you just have to narrow it down, but um his story is phenomenal.
• 55:25
  SPEAKER_01: But we have been able to connect and rejoin, and and it's interesting because now like um he made me sole beneficiary over his dog, and like he's like, if I when I die, I he's like, he's like, they're gonna call you.
• 55:37
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, why are they calling me?
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_01: He's like, because you're the only person I trust.
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, really?
• 55:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's so cool.
• 55:43
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I mean, I go, I don't want you to die though, but that's so cool, thanks, you know.
• 55:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I go, I get your dog, and because I love his dog, his dog Kratos, he's gonna give me his dog.
• 55:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, yeah, I'll come and get him.
• 55:53
  SPEAKER_01: And um, but anyway, it's crazy how when you reconcile stuff, and and him and I have talked about our past with my our mom, and I, you know, when I bring up my mom to him, he doesn't want to hear about it because he didn't reconcile with her.
• 56:05
  SPEAKER_01: They had a moment where they could, and they just couldn't because they they just could not get along.
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I wish they would have, you know, and um he has he I I think he has a lot of similarities to my mom.
• 56:18
  SPEAKER_01: They're both really stubborn in that aspect.
• 56:20
  SPEAKER_01: So they kind of think that, well, unless they call me first, I'm not having a conversation with them, you know.
• 56:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like I didn't do anything wrong, they need to call me, or whatever.
• 56:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I think sometimes even if you don't do anything wrong, you should call, you should just pick up the phone and call, you know.
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_03: I've heard even um leaders of churches say that, you know, like well, they need to call me, you know, and and you're like, I'm like, well, you don't want them to be, you know, having this hurt and have them go, you know what I mean?
• 56:48
  SPEAKER_03: Like it our heart should break for what breaks God's heart, you know what I mean?
• 56:53
  SPEAKER_03: If it if it breaks your heart, it's definitely breaking the Lord, you know, like sin is anything we think, say, or do that breaks God's heart, you know what I mean, or breaks his law and makes him sad, you know, like but I was thinking that when you were talking, I was like, Oh, yeah, when you try to go reconcile with a with a beehive, would you do that?
• 57:17
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I'm saying?
• 57:20
  SPEAKER_03: Hey people, and you're getting stung and I'm allergic to bees, I'm sorry, but you know what I mean?
• 57:27
  SPEAKER_03: Like you you can try all you want, but you're gonna keep getting stung over and over and over, you know, um, or a hornet's nest or wasp or whatever.
• 57:35
  SPEAKER_03: But um, I would never want to mess with with that.
• 57:38
  SPEAKER_03: So if you're if you're trying to stick your hand, trying to get the honey, you know, they're not gonna give you the honey, you know, they don't want to give you the honey.
• 57:46
  SPEAKER_03: They want to keep it for themselves, and they're gonna sting you like crazy.
• 57:50
  SPEAKER_03: Now, a repent of heart, repent of leadership, repent of family, they're gonna give you the honey.
• 57:56
  SPEAKER_03: You know, they're gonna be like, here, here's a jar of honey.
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_03: I love you, I care about you, you know, I'm concerned about you, you know, because people really just need to feel loved, you know, and who loves us the most?
• 58:08
  SPEAKER_03: God does, you know.
• 58:10
  SPEAKER_01: But if he's pride there, though.
• 58:12
  SPEAKER_01: I think if there's pride, I I get what you're saying, but I think if there's pride there, like I I think that people need to feel loved.
• 58:18
  SPEAKER_01: But one thing I I and I'm you may maybe you can correct me on this, I might be totally off base.
• 58:25
  SPEAKER_01: But sometimes people, when you go to talk to them, they don't they don't care if you love them or not.
• 58:30
  SPEAKER_01: They're they're just like, I'm right, you're wrong, and and I do not care what you have to say, and and and they don't even care about you.
• 58:38
  SPEAKER_01: They don't care about you, one iota.
• 58:39
  SPEAKER_01: So even though you're trying to reconcile, because you you don't want that hurt over yourself or even over them, you know, they really have to have a a wanting and a need and a desire to reconcile with you, or they're not going to.
• 58:51
  SPEAKER_01: And it's okay though, that's where we have to let bygones be bygones, and you have to sever the tie.
• 58:56
  SPEAKER_01: And you have to say, okay, I still love you, um, I forgive you, but this is why we're, you know, I'm not gonna, you're not gonna be in my circle, basically, because you know, it's poisonous.
• 59:06
  SPEAKER_01: So poisonous to you to who you are as a person.
• 59:09
  SPEAKER_01: You can't have them around you because it's always gonna cause discord.
• 59:13
  SPEAKER_01: Every time you guys both walk into a room, it something's gonna ignite, you know, and it's gonna be ugly.
• 59:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I hate that.
• 59:20
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I hate that, especially with the family member, you know.
• 59:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's like because sometimes you're gonna be in a you're gonna show up at a place and they're gonna be there or they're whatever, and you're like, oh man, you know, wonder how this is gonna go down.
• 59:32
  SPEAKER_03: And I don't think we're called to be in a circle, you know, because witchcraft, yeah, they're kicking you out of the circle, but this this has been um mentality that people have is like I don't want them in my circle, you know, and um you're out of my circle, you know.
• 59:49
  SPEAKER_03: I only keep this many people, and you know, that's what witches do.
• 59:53
  SPEAKER_03: They get together, they make a circle, they do their little pentagram, and they stand up.
• 59:57
  SPEAKER_01: Satanists do that too.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't mean it like that.
• 1:00:00
  SPEAKER_01: I meant it like so.
• 1:00:00
  SPEAKER_01: The Bible does say to it doesn't say circle, so I should not have used that word.
• 1:00:04
  SPEAKER_01: You're you're correct.
• 1:00:05
  SPEAKER_01: That is actually um kind of a demonic term.
• 1:00:08
  SPEAKER_01: I should not actually use that.
• 1:00:10
  SPEAKER_01: But what I mean is like um it does say in the Bible that you could distance yourself from certain people if they're if they're if they're not good for you know for Holy Spirit, the Holy Spirit with you, if they're gonna bring you down, then you don't need to be around them.
• 1:00:23
  SPEAKER_01: You need to be where you're lifted up.
• 1:00:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like, like like you you and I said, like I will always straighten your crown, you will always straighten mine.
• 1:00:30
  SPEAKER_01: I could come to you with anything.
• 1:00:31
  SPEAKER_01: If I'm frustrated, if I'm mad, if I'm sad, if I'm crying, whatever, I can be like Trish, I need you to pray for me.
• 1:00:36
  SPEAKER_01: Trish, can you give me some advice on this?
• 1:00:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I have and I act and I value your opinion because you know, you I think you're gonna tell me the truth, and you're gonna do it out of love.
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_01: You're not gonna be like, oh, you're so stupid.
• 1:00:46
  SPEAKER_01: Why do you talk to me about this stupid stuff?
• 1:00:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, you're gonna go, okay, well, maybe you should have not done that, you should have done this.
• 1:00:52
  SPEAKER_01: And you're so honest with me, open, and I love that.
• 1:00:55
  SPEAKER_01: If we were like that with everyone, and get along like you and I have never had an argument, we've never had a fight ever in 10 years, because we know how to communicate, and like when you're having a bad day, I don't go, oh, she's having a bad day.
• 1:01:09
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna stay away from her.
• 1:01:10
  SPEAKER_01: No, I want to make you feel better.
• 1:01:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, Well, I'm sorry I have a bad day.
• 1:01:14
  SPEAKER_01: What's wrong?
• 1:01:14
  SPEAKER_01: Are you okay?
• 1:01:15
  SPEAKER_01: And you've done the same thing for me.
• 1:01:16
  SPEAKER_01: You're like, Oh, I'm sorry you're having such a bad day, and you you lift me up.
• 1:01:19
  SPEAKER_01: We're supposed to be building one another, we're supposed to build each other up, not knock each other down.
• 1:01:24
  SPEAKER_01: So we need to make sure that whoever we're hanging out with or um doing life with, um, we need to make sure that you know they're the people that are gonna just keep encouraging us and keep straightening our crown.
• 1:01:35
  SPEAKER_01: But we also need to keep in mind that just because you know we're not hanging out with the people that won't reconcile with us, we are still to pray for them and we are still to love them, whether we like how they behave or not.
• 1:01:47
  SPEAKER_01: But we don't have to walk around and worry or be like, oh, I wish they would just forgive me.
• 1:01:53
  SPEAKER_01: Why won't they just forgive me?
• 1:01:55
  SPEAKER_01: And or just reconcile or whatever.
• 1:01:57
  SPEAKER_01: And um God says not to do that.
• 1:02:00
  SPEAKER_01: We're not supposed to be worrying about either, you know.
• 1:02:03
  SPEAKER_01: You know, let it worry about itself.
• 1:02:04
  SPEAKER_01: That's what God says, you know.
• 1:02:06
  SPEAKER_01: You need to stop worrying about it.
• 1:02:07
  SPEAKER_01: You need to let it go, let God take care of it.
• 1:02:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like doing God's laundry.
• 1:02:11
  SPEAKER_01: He doesn't want us sorting out his laundry.
• 1:02:14
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna we have to sort out our laundry and let God sort out his laundry.
• 1:02:18
  SPEAKER_01: And when you give it over to God, it's no longer our problem.
• 1:02:21
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we can give it to God.
• 1:02:23
  SPEAKER_01: And when you do that, God God releases you and brings you, He brings peace to your heart about it.
• 1:02:29
  SPEAKER_01: You know, even if there is no reconciliation in it.
• 1:02:32
  SPEAKER_01: If you've done your part, you're you're you did your due diligence in it, you're gonna be okay.
• 1:02:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I think with a lot of our listeners, I think that you know, if if there is people out there that are trying to reconcile with someone, um, if you go to somebody and they don't want to accept your accept reconciliation error, they don't want to accept your apologies, they don't want to accept your forgiveness, it's no longer on you.
• 1:02:55
  SPEAKER_01: It is on them.
• 1:02:56
  SPEAKER_01: It really is on them.
• 1:02:58
  SPEAKER_01: And you don't have to carry that around anymore.
• 1:03:00
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes I think we just want to feel and here we go back to validation.
• 1:03:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like I kind of want to be validated and be like, okay, that now they validate me after I've already, you know, I admitted I did wrong, I apologize, now I want my validation.
• 1:03:14
  SPEAKER_01: You know?
• 1:03:15
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, give it to me.
• 1:03:16
  SPEAKER_01: Not everyone's gonna validate us, but we have already been validated on the cross.
• 1:03:20
  SPEAKER_01: Jesus did that for us that day.
• 1:03:22
  SPEAKER_01: So we don't need validation from anyone.
• 1:03:24
  SPEAKER_01: We can forgive and we can actually forget.
• 1:03:27
  SPEAKER_01: And it's okay to do that.
• 1:03:28
  SPEAKER_01: There's no sin that said, or there's no scripture that said it's a sin if you forgive somebody their debts, and then you forget about it.
• 1:03:37
  SPEAKER_01: There's nothing in the Bible that says, you know, oh, you forgot about that debt?
• 1:03:42
  SPEAKER_01: No, God forgets about our debt.
• 1:03:44
  SPEAKER_01: The moment we repent, He never brings it up ever again.
• 1:03:47
  SPEAKER_01: We're the ones that are bringing up again, you know, because we can't get over it.
• 1:03:51
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes we have to get over it.
• 1:03:53
  SPEAKER_01: We have to we have to release it and let God just have it.
• 1:03:56
  SPEAKER_01: You just have to give it to Him and say, Here you go, God, I'm just gonna trust you with it, and you can have it.
• 1:04:02
  SPEAKER_01: I love you and I I have to trust you, you know.
• 1:04:05
  SPEAKER_03: And that's I think we're I just thought about your water getting shut off, you know.
• 1:04:10
  SPEAKER_03: All of a sudden you you're brushing your teeth, and your water gets shut off, and you're like, Uh-oh, there's a debt I didn't pay.
• 1:04:17
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
• 1:04:18
  SPEAKER_03: I need water.
• 1:04:19
  SPEAKER_03: Well, Jesus has living water, you know, and he he met that woman by the well, and he, you know, he he he asked her for a drink, you know, and then he let her know that he was the living water, and she knew who he was, and and he is a living water, and he validated her right there, and then um it's it's like you know, she just went with joy after that, you know, and telling everybody, and then I was also thinking about expectations lead to resentment, so you know, sometimes you know, people have this idea of who you should be or how you should act, you know what I mean?
• 1:05:04
  SPEAKER_03: And we have to, you know, even when people don't uh reconcile back to you the way you feel they should, it's an expectation that a leader should have Christ-like abilities, you know what I mean?
• 1:05:20
  SPEAKER_03: And that's what makes a good leader, that's what makes a good pastor.
• 1:05:23
  SPEAKER_03: Like um, you know, I have a pastor that I'm going to right now, and his church uh he he is always just so you know, there's a couple pastors that I know that are like that.
• 1:05:38
  SPEAKER_03: They're they're just they're they're a glowing light, you know what I mean?
• 1:05:44
  SPEAKER_03: And they don't have any expectations of you, you know what I mean?
• 1:05:48
  SPEAKER_03: They come to you as a servant and they say, What can I do for you?
• 1:05:51
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, how can I help you?
• 1:05:53
  SPEAKER_03: Is there anything you need?
• 1:05:54
  SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
• 1:05:55
  SPEAKER_03: They're they're just a walking light, you know, and that's Jesus came, he came down and he to serve us.
• 1:06:03
  SPEAKER_03: And if you have, you know, a pastor who wants you to do, do, do for them and be their Martha and you know, do stuff like that, it's like you can't that's too much to ask of a person to do, yeah, and have all these high expectations that they're gonna fulfill all your needs.
• 1:06:23
  SPEAKER_03: Jesus didn't come down to say, I need you to wash my feet, I need you to feed me food.
• 1:06:31
  SPEAKER_03: No, he wasn't interested in what Martha was making.
• 1:06:34
  SPEAKER_03: What he was interested is is Mary sitting at his feet.
• 1:06:37
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 1:06:38
  SPEAKER_03: He was more interested in teaching them and somebody who wanted to learn, you know, and it was a joy, I'm sure it was a joy for him, you know, and he said nothing's gonna be taken from her, you know, and Mary and Martha was complaining about it.
• 1:06:52
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, when people complain about you, and you know, um, they're also complaining about what God's doing in you, you know what I mean?
• 1:07:02
  SPEAKER_03: And um, but expectations of people can lead to resentment, and this is what I've noticed in family and friends, and you know, long old friends that I've had in the past, friends that I have, you know, just all the way around when someone has an expectation of what they want you to do, and if you don't do what they think, that makes you God.
• 1:07:26
  SPEAKER_03: If you think about it, I was thinking about it one day.
• 1:07:29
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, you know, I'm not capable of doing this.
• 1:07:34
  SPEAKER_03: This is not who I am.
• 1:07:36
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I'm not a dancer, I like to dance, I like to worship.
• 1:07:41
  SPEAKER_03: I did worship dance for a little while, but that's not who I am.
• 1:07:45
  SPEAKER_03: God wants me to use my voice, He wants me to teach little kids, you know.
• 1:07:51
  SPEAKER_03: He and and he what's crazy is I've I never liked being on stage as a kid.
• 1:07:58
  SPEAKER_03: When I had to do the Gettysburg Address, I stuttered.
• 1:08:02
  SPEAKER_03: I was just terrified.
• 1:08:04
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, and my eye would twitch, you know.
• 1:08:07
  SPEAKER_03: And then the first time I wrote this poem, and I and I my first pastor, he's he moved to Texas now, but my first pastor that I ever went to church with, um, I showed him a poem, and it was beautiful.
• 1:08:22
  SPEAKER_03: It was a beautiful poem.
• 1:08:23
  SPEAKER_03: I all of a sudden God started giving me words because I like to write.
• 1:08:26
  SPEAKER_03: I'm a writer, and all of a sudden I'm writing poems for God.
• 1:08:30
  SPEAKER_03: I used to write them when I was a teenager from all my traumas, and then then I went from that to writing for God, and he goes, Get up there and read it.
• 1:08:40
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, No, you read it.
• 1:08:42
  SPEAKER_03: And he goes, Oh, if you're not gonna read it, then no.
• 1:08:45
  SPEAKER_03: I said, No, okay, I'll read it.
• 1:08:47
  SPEAKER_03: So I got up there and I read I read it out loud.
• 1:08:50
  SPEAKER_03: The first time I ever was in front of people, and oh, you know, my voice was trembling inside.
• 1:08:57
  SPEAKER_03: I felt the Holy Spirit in me, you know, like wanting to come out.
• 1:09:01
  SPEAKER_03: And it was like up, it went down to my stomach and up to my throat, and my eye was twitching, you know.
• 1:09:08
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, God, please help me with this, please help me with this, you know.
• 1:09:12
  SPEAKER_03: But like he will help you through anything, you know, and he is a servant, he has a servant heart, and he's already I just like if you if anybody goes to John 17 and read the prayers that he prayed over us, that is so encouraging.
• 1:09:33
  SPEAKER_03: It's like oh, yeah, he did, he prayed for me.
• 1:09:36
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, you know, Jesus prayed for me, you know, he interceded for me, he interceded for us on the cross to be reconciled to him.
• 1:09:45
  SPEAKER_03: And you remember earlier, me and you were talking, you were talking about the garden and how they were exiled out of the garden, and it wasn't just um from the garden, it was in Egypt, it was in um Jerusalem.
• 1:10:01
  SPEAKER_03: There's all the they were exiled out of Jerusalem, and it was back in Nehemiah's time, and Nehemiah's like, well, wait a minute, Jeremiah said after 70 years, we're gonna get to go back to our land, so they're gonna be reconciled, they're gonna be reconciled back to their land.
• 1:10:16
  SPEAKER_03: This is a foreshadowing of Jesus coming and reconciling his people, and so he's like, Oh, I remember, I remember Jeremiah's 70.
• 1:10:25
  SPEAKER_03: It's oh it's been 70 years.
• 1:10:28
  SPEAKER_03: God, and he petitioned the Lord and reminded God, you see you see this is the prophecy that Jeremiah gave.
• 1:10:34
  SPEAKER_03: Is this gonna happen?
• 1:10:35
  SPEAKER_03: And boom, they got to return to their land.
• 1:10:38
  SPEAKER_03: They go to their land, they start building the temple, they start doing all this stuff, and they're so excited about it, and they start sacrificing before that it's even built.
• 1:10:47
  SPEAKER_03: They start sacrificing, they they finally get to do what they were meant to do, right?
• 1:10:51
  SPEAKER_03: And God was moving the hearts of the people, he was moving the hearts of the people to you know work, and and they got all the materials and everything that was um taken from them was returned to them, you know, literally everything was returned to them, and so they had everything to build it, and then the outside sources and different government officials were like, sorry, we we don't want so they had resistance.
• 1:11:19
  SPEAKER_03: Anytime you're building something, there's resistance.
• 1:11:22
  SPEAKER_03: So resistance hits them, and then they get complacent, and then they're we're they build their own little homes and they're they're just kind of scared, and they're doing what they're you know, having their own luxurious lives amongst their own families, and then God comes to them through Haggai, I believe, and says, Look, this is what's going on.
• 1:11:47
  SPEAKER_03: You guys need to do what I told you to do, and you know what?
• 1:11:51
  SPEAKER_03: Boom, instant obedience, the instantly obedient, and he and as soon as they were obedient, they started rebuilding the temple, you know, and um anyway, I don't know.
• 1:12:04
  SPEAKER_03: It's just it's just a current study that I'm in, so it's fresh in my mind, right?
• 1:12:09
  SPEAKER_03: You know, and it's it's like look at the exiles and how they got to come back and how they got to return.
• 1:12:17
  SPEAKER_03: We have been exiled from the garden from the beginning.
• 1:12:20
  SPEAKER_03: We are still in exile, we are on this earth.
• 1:12:24
  SPEAKER_03: This is not our permanent home.
• 1:12:26
  SPEAKER_03: Our permanent home is in heaven with God, with Jesus, Father, Son, Holy Spirit.
• 1:12:31
  SPEAKER_03: You know, right now we only see in part when it says in 1 Corinthians 13, I believe, that we only know everything and see everything just in it like it in a dim mirror.
• 1:12:43
  SPEAKER_03: And but the thing that stands firm is uh hate faith, hope, and love.
• 1:12:47
  SPEAKER_03: But the greatest is love, right?
• 1:12:49
  SPEAKER_03: If you don't have love, you have nothing.
• 1:12:51
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, and that is the greatest gift.
• 1:12:53
  SPEAKER_03: The greatest gift is love.
• 1:12:55
  SPEAKER_03: You know, if you really truly love somebody, do you say, okay, us mothers, we are attached to our children, we would do anything for them.
• 1:13:06
  SPEAKER_03: I believe that I would even stand and uh you know, take a bullet for any of my kids.
• 1:13:11
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 1:13:13
  SPEAKER_03: And even the one who exiled himself away from me.
• 1:13:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I probably lay myself down, I would die for him, you know.
• 1:13:21
  SPEAKER_03: Um I love them that much.
• 1:13:24
  SPEAKER_03: They came from my womb, they are my children.
• 1:13:26
  SPEAKER_03: That's how God feels about us.
• 1:13:29
  SPEAKER_03: He wants us reconciled to him.
• 1:13:31
  SPEAKER_03: And I oh, I I don't remember where it's at right this minute, but there is a verse that talks about God grieving and his voice being like a harp wailing out, you know, and and it was like, can you imagine the vibration of his voice wailing like a like a like a harp?
• 1:13:58
  SPEAKER_03: Not a violin, it was a harp, it was it was a harp.
• 1:14:02
  SPEAKER_03: And it also says in Revelation that his voice is the sound of many waters, like many harpists playing, many harpists playing.
• 1:14:12
  SPEAKER_03: And I don't know if you've been down, I've been down San Francisco and I've seen them playing the harp, and the the sound is so beautiful.
• 1:14:20
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, if you think about the the bigger part of it is like you know, and and you just the wailing of his wail and the the grief that he feels that he has to destroy certain things and he his creation, he doesn't want to do that, you know, and he grieves for us.
• 1:14:40
  SPEAKER_03: And um this is what was really put on my mind is like we if something happens to one of our children, we're like everything's done, I'm gonna go now.
• 1:14:52
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, if we're if we're in leadership and if we are in Christ, we're gonna look at every single person as God's child, and you're gonna go reconcile to that child no matter what happens.
• 1:15:07
  SPEAKER_03: You're gonna go and find that person, you know, because God is wailing for that person, his voice is like a vibration, and it's you know, doing this.
• 1:15:22
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna go watch harps playing now, I think.
• 1:15:27
  SPEAKER_01: I think that we should probably um uh wrap up because we're running out of time, but um um definitely should pray and then uh and for our listeners, if if there's any any type of reconciliation that you're needing or wanting, or um reach out to Trish and I so we can we can help you without and we'll pray we'll pray with you for that, you know.
• 1:15:46
  SPEAKER_03: It's in Isaiah.
• 1:15:47
  SPEAKER_03: It's in Isaiah 15, 16, or 17, one of those.
• 1:15:51
  SPEAKER_03: They're they're really good.
• 1:15:52
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I know it's in Isaiah.
• 1:15:54
  SPEAKER_01: I was thinking it was in Isaiah, I was trying to remember where.
• 1:15:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um because I remember reading that.
• 1:16:00
  SPEAKER_01: But uh yeah, that's a really good scripture too to look up to.
• 1:16:04
  SPEAKER_01: But um, we we could talk about um so much all day long, and I love it that we can because um you know the you know the Lord's worth talking about all day long you know what I mean?
• 1:16:16
  SPEAKER_01: But um for now we do have to wrap up and we need to pray and close out our episode.
• 1:16:20
  SPEAKER_01: But um man, there's so much stuff in so many so many areas of reconciliation need needs to happen.
• 1:16:26
  SPEAKER_01: And our world is so ugly right now.
• 1:16:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um we need to reconcile.
• 1:16:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um our government needs to reconcile.
• 1:16:32
  SPEAKER_01: There's there's so much so much hate in the world right now.
• 1:16:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because we don't reconcile.
• 1:16:38
  SPEAKER_01: People do not reconcile.
• 1:16:40
  SPEAKER_01: And um, I thought it was interesting when you said, hey, I really want to I think we should talk about this.
• 1:16:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I was thinking, man, I've been watching the news and you know, all of this travesty and stuff that's going on.
• 1:16:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's like everybody's out to get everyone, you know?
• 1:16:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I I mean it just it makes my heart really sad, but um it's like we need to stop.
• 1:17:02
  SPEAKER_01: You know, sometimes I just want to tell God I want the world to stop so I can get off.
• 1:17:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm done with this.
• 1:17:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like, let me go to another world, you know, because this is so ugly here.
• 1:17:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's so uh, you know, but yeah, I have my heart goes out, you know, for people and and I want them to come to know Christ because I want them to understand that there's so much love that's still out there that that we're just not even we're not utilizing it, we're not using it, we're not uh we're not giving it, we're not sharing it, we're not taking it, we're just you know, people are walking in selfish pride and being very hurtful.
• 1:17:32
  SPEAKER_01: But as far as today goes, um great message.
• 1:17:35
  SPEAKER_01: I love that we we talked about a lot um of topics today and um a lot of good scripture, um, especially like um in uh Acts 19 where we can repent and uh you know our our sins are wiped out and we we can be refreshed.
• 1:17:52
  SPEAKER_01: You know, God is gonna refresh us.
• 1:17:54
  SPEAKER_01: And if you know if you want reconciliation, my suggestion is I would go and sit at the feet of Jesus for for a moment and pray and repent of anything that that that you may be sinning from, and then ask God to show you where reconcile what reconciliation is needed in your life, because you'll be surprised what God will lay on your heart.
• 1:18:14
  SPEAKER_01: I really do believe that.
• 1:18:16
  SPEAKER_01: And um, I know for myself that there's been some reconciliation where God saying it in my heart, I'm like, wow, I didn't that was a long time ago.
• 1:18:22
  SPEAKER_01: I haven't talked to that person in a long time.
• 1:18:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I just, you know, picked up the phone and called, and they were like, Oh, hey, and it was almost like it never happened, but then through conversation, you know, we kind of whittled back to that, and then I was able to apologize, you know, and God kind of opens those doors.
• 1:18:39
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that if we're needing you know doors open for reconciliation, that we just need to take it to the feet of Jesus and ask him to help us with it.
• 1:18:47
  SPEAKER_01: So um, Trish, do you mind praying for us today?
• 1:18:51
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, um, dear Lord Jesus, thank you for this time we've had to together to talk about reconciliation.
• 1:18:58
  SPEAKER_03: Father God, I pray that all those broken bridge, um, I can unreconciled people out there would be reconciled to you, Lord, and that friendships and families and governments and this world would be reconciled to Christ.
• 1:19:14
  SPEAKER_03: There are many revivals going on, many people come into uh reconciliation with Christ, which is an amazing thing.
• 1:19:20
  SPEAKER_03: And I just pray for the spirit of reconciliation to fall upon all the churches, Lord, that um they would see that you were the one who came to serve and they would be more servant-hearted towards the people, um, that families, um, even if you're just the one Christian, you know, serving God, that God would give you an opportunity to reconcile in some way, that uh God, you open doors that no man can shut.
• 1:19:48
  SPEAKER_03: You don't want us to stick our hand in the beehive.
• 1:19:50
  SPEAKER_03: And God, I pray for the prodigal sons and daughters out there, and that um there be a spirit of reconciliation that falls upon all of them, Lord.
• 1:19:58
  SPEAKER_03: And that, you know, just like when the prodigal son in the Bible was far off, and when the father saw he was far off, they went, he went towards him as well.
• 1:20:08
  SPEAKER_03: And it's like when your heart starts to bend towards God, he is in your face, he's right there, you know, he's always there, he's waiting for you to open that door.
• 1:20:20
  SPEAKER_03: He says, Um, and then just be still and know that he is God, you know, and be reconciled to him.
• 1:20:28
  SPEAKER_03: Um, because what matters most is you know, he is the bridge of reconciliation, he is the one who you know died on the cross for us.
• 1:20:38
  SPEAKER_03: You died on the cross for us, God, and I thank you for that.
• 1:20:41
  SPEAKER_03: I thank you for all our listeners out there, and God, if you need and if you need anything, you know, we're praying for you, and um we just continue to ask God, seek God, and see what he wants us to talk about next.
• 1:20:58
  SPEAKER_03: And God, thank you for guide, guarding, and directing our hearts and minds.
• 1:21:01
  SPEAKER_03: In Jesus' name, amen.
• 1:21:03
  SPEAKER_01: Amen.
• 1:21:04
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for that.
• 1:21:05
  SPEAKER_01: So uh yeah, she perfectly said.
• 1:21:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so for all of our listeners, we just hope that you have a great and wonderful day.
• 1:21:13
  SPEAKER_01: And um, thank you for listening.
• 1:21:15
  SPEAKER_01: Please make sure you follow and like and share, um, especially with anybody that you might need to be reconciled with.
• 1:21:20
  SPEAKER_01: It might just send them a little message.
• 1:21:23
  SPEAKER_01: Send them a message of hope, you know, because that's what faith builders is all about is building up one another's faith and let's straighten each other's crowns.
• 1:21:29
  SPEAKER_01: Let's let's build each other up because that's what we're supposed to be doing.
• 1:21:32
  SPEAKER_01: So I just want to thank you all for being here.
• 1:21:34
  SPEAKER_01: Take care, and um till next time, God bless.