Latest / Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha / Rabbi Moshe Haber Orchot Yashar: The Peril of Obsession and the Power of Ego 7.12.26
Transcript
- 0:01We've been saying Krakowski's book in which his overall
- 0:04concept is that in order to a person develop it, let me take
- 0:08all the character traits, let me take all the letters in the
- 0:10alphabet, Excuse me and 1 by 1 show you different characters a
- 0:14person wants to work on, different aspects of life one
- 0:17wants to work on. So the letter mem we saw last
- 0:20week is Me dot. Thank you.
- 0:22And Me dot is a world onto itself where people spend their
- 0:28entire life focusing on Medora and trying to develop themselves
- 0:32one way or another. Today's focus is on the fact
- 0:37that you can have a small thing on your mind.
- 0:40It's Medora oriented and it'll drive a person absolutely crazy.
- 0:46In other words, a person that's something that bothers him and
- 0:49then becomes an obsession. And he gives multiple examples
- 0:52of people who their end result was and Lamb Heather Goranabad,
- 0:57I'll give you the words examples.
- 0:59ENE Masino Barbados We find 4 individuals.
- 1:03We're going to see the ends. The ends are not good, but their
- 1:06beginnings were amazing. Some of them at least.
- 1:09Shamlu Khazal, these 4 Belam Vidoyage, Baritofil, Vigue Hazi,
- 1:15one of them is good, but the other three were Jewish.
- 1:19Other three were were they all four were geniuses.
- 1:23They all four were extremely gifted, all for a great
- 1:26potential and lame headachlan about all four ended up non
- 1:31Alam, about all Shakulam, Nenshu, Bishumi daughter.
- 1:35They all got punished because of Barry character traits.
- 1:37What are you learning here? Learning we're about to see.
- 1:40The key to all them was a little craziness, a little bit of an
- 1:45obsession, something that got them nuts and they just couldn't
- 1:49get past. And when they ended up doing
- 1:51this, it turned the entire world upside down.
- 1:55Kodak should be another thing too, by the way.
- 1:57That that he's jealousy. I know why he's not here.
- 1:58Should be on the list too. That's a good point.
- 2:02Same thing to turn the world upside down.
- 2:04You try to create a certain outcome that fits them, that
- 2:07makes them feel good. And the result know all about
- 2:10the result demise, the result disaster.
- 2:13I'll see you too. For example, he is Balaam.
- 2:17Balaam had a had a partner in crime as Balaq Balaq Hari
- 2:20Balaam, the king of Midyan Hari Balaam to committed sin right to
- 2:24curse. And yet Balaq does not get the
- 2:27same way. Binya Balam it says we don't
- 2:31find this sort of demise for Balaq QSR cannabis field Parto
- 2:36Balaq. It made sense what he was doing
- 2:38Crazy, but it made sense. He hired a cursor named Balaam
- 2:43to curse George Field because Balaq was scared.
- 2:45Being scared is normal. He was scared of a bad outcome.
- 2:49That's fine. Balaam what Balaam do it for
- 2:52what happened but I'm law but I'm had nothing to do with us
- 2:59and he attempted to ruin and destroy a a full nation for no
- 3:06reason. What was the reason?
- 3:12Some money again, here's an example of a person having an
- 3:17obsession. Now money is a real obsession.
- 3:19We know that, but a person having an obsession and that
- 3:22obsession drove him, and he drove him to curse and in his
- 3:25try to curse and in his nation. This I understand is not so
- 3:29strange in our minds, because money does drive people to do
- 3:33terrible things, Understood. Right.
- 3:36And how about Doek? Who's Doek?
- 3:40Say I dos Hassanadin? This is a man who is the head of
- 3:44the Saudin. To be the head of Saudin, you
- 3:46need to know every language. To be the head, you need to know
- 3:49everything. He's a genius, fully knowledge
- 3:52one Surah when they love David. David.
- 3:54And he was upset that David in his presence.
- 3:59OK, so you're a rabbi, you're a genius.
- 4:03You're the leader of the St. And there's a Jewish king who
- 4:07says in your presence, maybe without consulting you.
- 4:10OK, this. And does it hurt you?
- 4:12Yes. Does it bother you?
- 4:13Yes. But does it drive you crazy?
- 4:17That's going too far. And how crazy?
- 4:19We'll see in a second is that. A guy of a thing.
- 4:21That's a guy of a thing, right? How crazy did he go?
- 4:24He went and told Shaul Ahmeda that it's an idea that's
- 4:29recommended to kill the city of Nov to wipe out a city of
- 4:35Kwanim. A city of Kwanim?
- 4:37They told a person to kill a city.
- 4:41I'm saying he's a robber. He's a genius.
- 4:44He's a head of Saudi and he tells the king to kill a city
- 4:48because they saved and protected Davida Merek tells Shaol to kill
- 4:53a city that protected David, all because it's upset at David
- 4:56because of a lack of respect. Does that sound like he's going
- 4:59too far? Sounds like killing a city.
- 5:02And he made the reason off, right?
- 5:03And he made-up the whole thing. And one second, what was the
- 5:06other thing? Davida Merek also came up with
- 5:10the exact spot where the Bethemata should be.
- 5:13He knew the exact spot, and that bothered this man as well.
- 5:17You got it, right? I didn't get it.
- 5:18You got it first. I didn't get it.
- 5:19We're talking about Tara, we're talking about Hashem's word.
- 5:22We're talking about doing this for the right reason, talking
- 5:24about honesty, truth to Tara, everything beautiful.
- 5:27And the man went nuts. An obsession.
- 5:30Because there's a lack of respect in the slightest level.
- 5:32It sounds crazy, correct? That's how people are.
- 5:35When you have something in your mind that's, you know, a
- 5:38Mashigas as they call it, something in your mind that's
- 5:41bothering you. When it comes to Galva, when it
- 5:43comes to being respected, people will go to the 10th degree.
- 5:46People will go to the finish line just to bring out a point
- 5:50because they don't feel good about themselves.
- 5:53This is feel like it's too extreme.
- 5:55It's reality of life. And if you think about people,
- 5:58if you would get into people's mind, this is one of the most
- 5:59embarrassing facts. If he'd go into people's minds,
- 6:02you wouldn't find out how far they go for the smallest thing.
- 6:06We know that people go very far for a TAVA.
- 6:10We know that when you ever hear all these scandals and the guy
- 6:14went here and he went there and they did this like these guys
- 6:16worth a billion dollars and they're embarrassing themselves
- 6:20because how far they went for that.
- 6:21Aveda OK, we know that the same thing is true, maybe even more.
- 6:26How far people go for GAVA. They talk about people and they
- 6:31do a lot. They spend way over their means
- 6:34for a certain party. What is that?
- 6:36That is spending a lot of money to feel good about themselves.
- 6:39That's what it is. And that's when it comes to
- 6:41doing an extra How about fighting?
- 6:44People fight. We've said this before.
- 6:46People will lose what will stand on their hay and spend thousands
- 6:50and thousands dollars in lawyer fees for a fight that is not
- 6:53worth anything because of principle.
- 6:56We all know what principle really means.
- 6:57Principal does not mean principle.
- 6:58Principal means my ego. Principal means they are putting
- 7:02me down, they're hurting me, they're insulting me, my ego.
- 7:06This is an example of how far people go based on the feeling
- 7:11of Gava. I'll give you a few more
- 7:13examples. The question I have is how do
- 7:16you get past this? And this is the reality of life.
- 7:18And this is something that even a person who is a great man and
- 7:23a very knowledgeable man would go this far.
- 7:26How are we protected from this? This is the reality.
- 7:30How are you protected? I have two ways you're
- 7:32protected. You get a question.
- 7:34The one way you're protected is first of all, be honest with
- 7:37yourself. I'm sure that this man and all
- 7:41these other examples that we have were not all.
- 7:43He was not honest with himself. He didn't tell himself, I'm
- 7:46going to tell us all. I met her to kill the city
- 7:48because they said something about that V because that V
- 7:50insulting me. No way he wasn't honest with
- 7:52himself. He probably thought it was
- 7:54rational. He probably thought that if he
- 7:56disrespected me, it's going to cause a lack of respective
- 7:59Torah. It's going to 'cause this people
- 8:01are not going to trust this idea anymore.
- 8:03People are not going to know who's smarter people and get the
- 8:06halacha wrong. And by the way, City of Nov,
- 8:09they're rebelling against King Shaul, all this stuff.
- 8:11And he made-up a whole spiel in his mind, but really the entire
- 8:16thing he built in his mind was based on that false mentality
- 8:21because of a lack of respect. So the really the main thing is
- 8:25be honest with yourself. Tell yourself I'm getting crazy,
- 8:29not because of they're not doing things right away.
- 8:32I don't know all the way they're doing.
- 8:34We don't need to do it this way. No, no, no.
- 8:36I don't feel that good about myself.
- 8:38Those people are making me feel small and that's why I don't
- 8:41approve. If you're honest with yourself,
- 8:44then you look yourself in the mirror and say, I don't want to
- 8:46be that guy. I don't want to be the guy who's
- 8:49destroying a good life. I don't want to be the guy who's
- 8:51destroying good relationships because of a little bit of an
- 8:54insult. By the way, these insults hurt.
- 8:57Nobody's saying they don't hurt. If you are a very big person and
- 9:00someone, let's say you're a guy or you're, I don't say you're
- 9:05part of a shoe. Let's say, fine, you're part of
- 9:07the committee of a shoe and your expertise is, I don't know,
- 9:12running. You have to run a business, run
- 9:13a big business. You know how to run finances
- 9:15very well. You're very organized, you're
- 9:17very good at it. And they make a meeting, have a
- 9:19meeting together, just kind of mind having a meeting and they
- 9:22call everyone together and they have a question.
- 9:25How do we handle the fact that the books all over the place,
- 9:28How do we organize things? And they turn to the guy who has
- 9:32no experience, 0 experience, and they answer this question.
- 9:36They direct everything to him. And they say, you, you're going
- 9:39to be there. You're going to be the point man
- 9:40on this issue. And you're sitting there, you're
- 9:42in a major company, you're very good at this.
- 9:45And they completely got the wrong guy.
- 9:46All right. Or they're they're designing the
- 9:49shoe and they call the guy who has zero experience.
- 9:52It's very, not very much not talented and you design
- 9:55buildings and you're very gifted and they ignore you.
- 9:58How does it hurt? It hurts.
- 9:59You go home to your wife and you tell that was that was
- 10:02unbelievably terrible. How was it today?
- 10:04They they ignored me. They didn't talk to me.
- 10:06They didn't direct anything my way and they know I'm better
- 10:08than the other guy. They know that I'm the guy who
- 10:10knows how to do these things. It feels doesn't feel good.
- 10:13You keep going. You buy a Shabbat table.
- 10:15This happens all the time. You buy a Shabbat table and
- 10:18they're talking about a certain topic, right?
- 10:20And you're the only guy who knows really how this works.
- 10:23I got me personally when I go to my illness, right?
- 10:26They don't have the community in our regular community down pat.
- 10:29So well, I grew up with my parents and the whole thing.
- 10:33I every Haber thinks that they know the community in the back
- 10:35of their hand. That's how it works right now.
- 10:37They're going to talk about the community stuff and community
- 10:39politics, whatever else. I know the score and you
- 10:42probably don't. And they if they don't direct
- 10:44the question to me, I'm sitting there.
- 10:46This guy thinks you know what he's talking about.
- 10:47He's probably going to talk about I in one line.
- 10:50I can tell you the whole story at and if they direct it, I
- 10:53usually get up the off the table when I say I tell my wife they
- 10:56missed it. They have no idea what we're
- 10:58talking about. Fine, But now if I get it, this
- 11:00is reality. I'm telling the truth.
- 11:02If I get insulted now and now I was I was saying, OK, that's
- 11:05fine. I don't care if they're proud of
- 11:07it. If I get up and now and I start
- 11:09saying to these people, they don't know, they think they know
- 11:14and they raise their family that way and they built the whole
- 11:16world away and out of their minds and I go on and on and on.
- 11:20And now I used to a different fight and differently issue
- 11:22definition. That's all because of one thing
- 11:25because I feel small and it takes me to the 10th degree.
- 11:28This is the reality of life. This is what these people did.
- 11:31Now these people had to control and they had power, so they use
- 11:35it to destroy and we would have that same power.
- 11:38Let's say argument's sake, you moved from that board and you on
- 11:43a school board, OK, You move from the Schubert on a school
- 11:46board and now the school has a question.
- 11:48We have 4 kids that want to come into the school next year.
- 11:51We only have room for two, OK? I'm even a reality, we only have
- 11:55room for two, OK. And one of the kids that shows
- 11:58up of those 4 as a kid from that family of these people, I think
- 12:04they know what they're talking about.
- 12:05Who ignored me and insulting me in these things?
- 12:08Are you prone to turn those two kids down?
- 12:11Chances are you will turn those kids down.
- 12:13Why? Here you are.
- 12:15You got insulted, you got insulted, you're in a position
- 12:18of power and use the power against those people.
- 12:21All because of a slight to my ego.
- 12:24This is not an exaggeration at all.
- 12:27It's a makeup of man. The question is, what do we do
- 12:29about it? Answer number one is recognize
- 12:32that it's reality. Once you're aware that it
- 12:35exists, you'll be embarrassed by the fact that you're going to
- 12:38guide your life based on when someone else said to you a few
- 12:42years ago, and you can have a certain perception or a certain
- 12:45reaction or a certain control and a certain response base is
- 12:48something so small. If you're honest with yourself,
- 12:51if you're honest with yourself, that's half the problem.
- 12:53That's half the solution. Actually being honest.
- 12:55Realizing things get us nervous, and they take us at a very far
- 12:59degree as well. You have to work on control,
- 13:02which means the person has to sit on themselves.
- 13:04It's not that big a deal. And an insult is an insult.
- 13:07If someone says something wrong, OK, now I'm going to let it
- 13:10drive myself crazy. First of all, it's embarrassing
- 13:12if I look at myself in the mirror.
- 13:13And second of all, the destruction is going to cause by
- 13:16allowing these things to bother us are devastating, right?
- 13:21People ruin families based on this stuff.
- 13:23People ruin businesses. People ruin schools.
- 13:24People ruin schools, people want everything based on a small
- 13:28slight. And you'd keep peeling away
- 13:30saying what bothered the guy, what bothered the guy, what made
- 13:33him so crazy. And you find that it was one
- 13:36thing set and off moment you're saying that drove the person
- 13:39such an obsession. And answer is yes.
- 13:41So first of all, identify that it exists.
- 13:45Second of all, realizes destruction.
- 13:47And then you come away with it. Come with a different story.
- 13:49He gives you a few more examples.
- 13:50No more clothes. Another example is a man named
- 13:54Khazi. Who's Ghazi?
- 13:55He. Used to work for.
- 13:58A Right after the Eliyahu. Exactly.
- 14:01Alisha Navi, Ghazi, Alisha's guy, you know, those guys are
- 14:05the rabbis guys. He was the rabbis guy.
- 14:07He was a very wise man. He's a prophet's guy.
- 14:09He, by the way, I believe he had Raqqa.
- 14:12What happened to this man? Well, first of all, he did not
- 14:16like other people being around this rabbi.
- 14:19He wanted us to be around. So he blocked the door and
- 14:22didn't let people in. OK, Why didn't let people learn?
- 14:26I ain't set up. I ain't set up.
- 14:28Means he didn't want other people to have the same
- 14:32proximity relationship connection to his rabbi, and
- 14:34therefore he blocked the door. Doesn't sound so crazy to me.
- 14:37Doesn't sound so distant. Here's what he did.
- 14:39What's that item? What He's.
- 14:40He's. I ain't set up.
- 14:42Which means a narrow eye, which means he's not giving and not
- 14:46why he doesn't want to keep. Exactly.
- 14:47He doesn't want other people to have what he has.
- 14:49So in order to keep his life, again, what is he?
- 14:52He's protective of his own life and his own image and his own
- 14:56position. In order to keep that position,
- 14:58he shuts everyone else out. A very classic move.
- 15:01On top of that, he does the following.
- 15:04There's a man who was a king that asked advice.
- 15:07I really shut up and he got advice and the king offered all
- 15:12sorts of riches and gifts to Elisha as a response, as a
- 15:16payback with that advice. Ali Shah being a great Naive
- 15:19said, well, thank you. Khazi sent word and my master
- 15:24changed his mind. My leader changed his mind.
- 15:27He wants the gifts. Why?
- 15:29Because he said that because he wanted it for himself and he
- 15:32took it for himself. He had I ain't the same saying
- 15:34he wanted the lot and he despite he'd ruined the cavora of his
- 15:38rabbi, he ruined the cavora to not imagine me making it look
- 15:41like the naive. He cares about money and that he
- 15:44cares about gifts and he heard the Navi's image and what
- 15:47happened and he lost his LA Lamba.
- 15:51And there's the Kamala says that if he had Kiba years later, if
- 15:55he had Kiba from the Kamala was one day sitting and he's crying.
- 15:59He's crying, looks like it's mourning.
- 16:01Look at his mourning a loss. His students went home and got
- 16:05dressed in mourners clothing because they thought that the
- 16:09rabbi was in a state of mourning.
- 16:10They come back and he'd be like Kiba says to them, why are you
- 16:13wearing mourning clothing? Why are you wearing that
- 16:16clothing? Says they said, because Rabbi,
- 16:19you look like your morning. It's what you're talking about,
- 16:23Rabbi, you crying. And by the way, the BI Kibal was
- 16:25a man we know who walked by the spot of the destroyed Beth
- 16:30Mcdosh, saw a fox walking across it, and it's hard to laugh
- 16:34because he knew there's great potential there.
- 16:36That same man was crying in this instance.
- 16:40Why is he crying? He said came to my mind, I'd be
- 16:43like you have to say about Ghazi.
- 16:46I'm thinking about Ghazi on the Shah assistant.
- 16:48I'm thinking to myself, I'm crying because look at the lost
- 16:52potential. Look what that man could have
- 16:54become. He was a Shah's right hand man.
- 16:57And because of a little bit of honor, a little bit of a feeling
- 17:01of need to keep his position, he destroyed himself and destroyed
- 17:04the world and his outcome. And I'm crying at the lost
- 17:09potential. And the reality is, if you would
- 17:11look at our lives, people around those lives, you would cry at
- 17:16the lost potential that's destroyed because of a little
- 17:19bit, yes, a little bit of a mystery class, a little
- 17:21something that's on their mind that drives them to the craziest
- 17:25degree. You know how when people are,
- 17:27you know, and imagine a movie guys love.
- 17:30So he goes to a crazy degree and you find the doing crazy things
- 17:33and you see the guy standing there by the seas, he's just
- 17:36going crazy because he loves us so much, right?
- 17:38People go crazy. People have the opposite out of
- 17:41hate or more than that. I had a feeling of an insult,
- 17:44feeling of being disparaged, feeling of being not being
- 17:47treated greatly. People go nuts.
- 17:50People go to the craziest degree.
- 17:52And there's been so many examples of people doing this.
- 17:55And what do they do in the end? All they do is to destroy their
- 17:58own life. And they take a beautiful scene
- 18:01and they destroy it. And we have to realize very
- 18:04important thing when it comes to character trees, when it comes
- 18:07to me thought a little small mindset can take over your mind
- 18:12really can take over your whole life can take over your
- 18:15relationships, your conversations, your enjoyment,
- 18:18right? There's been so many times that
- 18:20people have a nice son like this one and someone think it's on
- 18:23their mind. Someone says to me in the
- 18:24morning and it's over the whole day, it's over.
- 18:27They're furious and upset. And like we see with these
- 18:29people in power, because these people have power, they utilize
- 18:33their power terrible things. If we would have that same power
- 18:36with that same mindset, it would be the same unless you plug it,
- 18:40unless you stop and say to yourself, I am not going to
- 18:43allow myself to be that guy. It's a very, very much a yet
- 18:47said on mindset. You know how the yet said, Ah,
- 18:49the class examples like a bug, what it means like a bug when
- 18:53you describe it defines like a bug.
- 18:55A bug is that little thing. And yet if you're eating and
- 19:00there's a bug flying in front of you, keeps swatting it, he got
- 19:04upset, he got off the table, he can't handle it.
- 19:07This mindset of some guy insulting you or some person
- 19:11saying something to you that's not really treating you in your
- 19:13position, that you feel it's like a bug and it destroys your
- 19:16life. Now the only thing is, what do
- 19:19we do about those guys? OK, I had this conversation
- 19:22sound very close to recently. They had a bunch of these guys.
- 19:24What do you do about those people?
- 19:26People do insult us. People do not treat us because
- 19:31we deserve to be treated. What do you do with those
- 19:33people? You just say I'm fine, I'm good.
- 19:35What do you do? If a person right is real with
- 19:39themself, let's let's say now a little baby came a fool say, oh,
- 19:43you know, you're stupid, you don't don't think much of it
- 19:47right. So a person on that, on that
- 19:50level that could say something to insult you is probably in
- 19:53reality a much lower. Level guy.
- 19:56So. Yeah.
- 19:57So their overall mindset it's. Like how to?
- 20:00Look at it my always my perspective and I don't know,
- 20:02I've always debated this is a healthy perspective or not.
- 20:05I don't have any backing to perspectives.
- 20:07And that is when people are that type, they get you nervous and
- 20:11they say things and they put you down or you're in their in their
- 20:15presence. They make you feel small.
- 20:17And there are also people out there on the road.
- 20:18We know a lot of those people. Usually I get in the write off
- 20:22mode. I write them off.
- 20:23It doesn't mean I don't hold to them.
- 20:25It doesn't mean I don't smile with them.
- 20:27I don't schmooze them. No, no problem.
- 20:30I write them off means they do not exist.
- 20:33Their words mean nothing to me. Because I realize that most
- 20:38aggressive people, most people who are the insulters in the 1st
- 20:42place, the people that create these problems, she has our
- 20:45words. They create the problem and we
- 20:47have to suffer our whole lives because they make us crazy,
- 20:50right? That's our works.
- 20:51If, if they're aggressive now and you could say maybe be
- 20:55overly sensitive. So if you want to work on that,
- 20:58that's great too. You want to toughen your skin,
- 20:59that's great. But I think those aggressive
- 21:03people or those people are putting it down more times than
- 21:06not. I cut them out How?
- 21:08Because they're insecure. They're insecure, they're just
- 21:12uncomfortable. They're just not.
- 21:14They're not normal in this. Justify like, oh, that's just
- 21:17how they are or that's just who you know, like, but it's not an
- 21:20excuse. Not an excuse not to be that
- 21:22way. What are you going to do about
- 21:23that? You know, let it ruin your life.
- 21:25We have in our lives the most beautiful lives imaginable.
- 21:28Then we have also these very annoying people.
- 21:31All of us have it. These annoying people.
- 21:33They find a way to put you down in a way that's perfect, right?
- 21:37They act better. They act like they're smarter.
- 21:40They say isn't it sounds like it's I was dealing with a person
- 21:42on Friday talking to on Friday. The guy asked me advice, asked
- 21:45me advice. OK, very good.
- 21:47When you ask someone advice, you're mock me out to them.
- 21:50You're a little humble. When you ask someone advice,
- 21:51you're humble. But then the guy halfway through
- 21:53the conversation was being a little arrogant to me.
- 21:56Why doesn't I don't understand why I wanted to walk away.
- 21:59You asked me advice, right? And then I said, so tell me this
- 22:02detail. You want to tell me details.
- 22:04I understand you asked me advice, but you're not telling
- 22:07me details. I said so who's doing this for
- 22:09you? He doesn't respond.
- 22:11I was confused. The answer is he's strange.
- 22:14I don't know. He's off.
- 22:15He's out of his mind, right? He's a little insecure.
- 22:18I don't know what it is. He doesn't.
- 22:19When you realize that with people, this is not a derogatory
- 22:22statement about people. It's more of an understanding
- 22:24how people are. We are the same way at times.
- 22:26People we can be off too. Once you recognize that, then
- 22:29the fight and the severity and the power of what they do to us,
- 22:34who's down? And it and becomes, it dissolves
- 22:36because it's not that bad. Here's the makeup.
- 22:39Normally you have a great person like us.
- 22:41Everyone has a great life. And you have this person that
- 22:44comes in, says a comment, does something, makes yourself better
- 22:47than you and makes you feel very small.
- 22:49That creates a reaction of eating up our days.
- 22:53And we're obsessed with it and we talk about it.
- 22:55If you realize this before, if you realize we always talk about
- 22:58the same people all the time. Why?
- 23:01Because those people get as nervous, those who'll make us
- 23:03feel small. Now you have a response.
- 23:05The response is I'm not going to let it destroy my life.
- 23:07It's not worth it. The response is, it's only them.
- 23:11It's a small thing. Another response is you take
- 23:13them and you recognize them as a bug, not because they're a bug
- 23:17in general life, but in this instance their comment or their
- 23:20presence is bug like. And you say they're insecure, is
- 23:24their issue, is their problem, it's fine and let them be them.
- 23:29Is this an unhealthy response? This is a healthy response.
- 23:31This is my response. I think it's a healthy response.
- 23:34So that. Oh yeah, yeah.
- 23:37I I feel like so when I try to teach my my, my daughters, I
- 23:41have 4 girls is is because there's a lot of drama in that
- 23:44world, right? For sure.
- 23:45Is that I just haven't. Can't let somebody, somebody
- 23:50can't make you feel any particular way.
- 23:53Because if someone's making you feel down or this or that,
- 23:57you're, you're giving them control over your feelings.
- 24:00You're basically saying you control me.
- 24:02And so you, you, you can't, nobody can make you feel a
- 24:06certain way. They can, they could try, but if
- 24:08you have inner strength and you learn how to strengthen
- 24:11yourself, then all it is is them is looking.
- 24:14They they just happen to look at that point like weak and
- 24:17insecure like you're saying, but the minute that they make you
- 24:21feel a certain way, you have to look in and say, wait, what?
- 24:24How did they just make me feel down or bad?
- 24:28They don't control how I feel just because you think that way.
- 24:31A. Secular book called Let them and
- 24:33it had to teach you how to how to do that like not.
- 24:37That is the that's the move move is to cut them out of taking the
- 24:42term live rent free in your rent free in your brain.
- 24:45There's so many people who live rent free in our brain.
- 24:47It's very hard otherwise. I know, by the way, if we would
- 24:50open up our brains and open up our minds, it would be
- 24:53disappointing. But how much wasted space there
- 24:56is used up by these people once a person figures this out.
- 25:01I had this conversation very close to recently.
- 25:04Once you figure out the best life, because we have good
- 25:06lives, that's not the issue. We just have these people that
- 25:09are placed in the perfect spot who for some odd reason they
- 25:13decided their job to put us down.
- 25:15And once you get passed out. The minute it doesn't work this
- 25:19holy, the minute doesn't work, they just move on to the next
- 25:21weaker lane. Exactly, 100%.
- 25:23That's the move. So a person has to realize it
- 25:24comes to me dot. We can become obsessed even
- 25:27though we're normal healthy people in this area can be
- 25:29obsessed. And our job is to strengthen
- 25:31ourselves in a way to push that out and keep us all strong.
- 25:34And it makes overall much better me dot for yourself.
- 25:37When you allow these people to control you, it makes them to a
- 25:40bad person. No one says these guys get a
- 25:42pass because hey, someone was in their mind.
- 25:45They don't get a pass and they have, you don't get a pass from
- 25:48reacting, you get a pass. You only get the, you know, the
- 25:50credit If you cut them out, you cut their effect out and you
- 25:54figure out a way to function beautifully by having an
- 25:57understanding that they're a little bug.
- 25:58They're trying to get you. You have your strength, you push
- 26:01somewhere some of this.