Latest / We Talk Back / Ep 34 "No Church In the Wild II" with Dylan and Hailey Lane

Transcript

Ep 34 "No Church In the Wild II" with Dylan and Hailey Lane · We Talk Back

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: talked back. What's up, y'all? Welcome to a new episode
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: of We Talked Back. It's your girl a j Hey, y'all,
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: it's Tam Bam. I love y'all, and I'm hungover as fuck.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: When you had a good weekend? What the funk you
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: had going on? I um went out. I was just
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: supposed to be having a brunch with my baby mama,
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: which is my godmama's child walked home, the babysitter came,
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: and then we went to a club and we turned
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: up like some bitches who don't have their children for
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: the night. Child almost went to jail and everything. Len, Wait,
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: how the funk y'all almost went to jail? Do you?
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: I girl? I know? But who was driving? We have
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: the gift that I said less uber, let's not because
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: we just want to get home. When we're ready to
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: get home, we don't want to wait. I was like,
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: all right, and then my home girls side swapped the
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: car a part car? How you hit a park car bage? Wait?
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: So who call it? Wait? The police was outside. The
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: police was outside across the street and the right so
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: I got I was getting out that I got out
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: the car to take to walk my home girl in
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: because she was kind of tipsy, so are drunk rather,
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: so I was walking her in the other friend like
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: she's backing up in all years out inside of somebody's
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: fucking car. Like I walked. I keep walking like because
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: I know the police is right there right quick. I
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: was walking and tended to looking straight, like I'm driving
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: with my hands on and I was like, oh ship,
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: bits drive off, bits drive off, and this bit drove
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: off right. But then she came back. I'm like, what
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: the fun? She's like, I can't get you. I was like, yeah,
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: dumb man, she should have kept going. I should have
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: kept going. So but the police was cool. He just
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: gave her a ticket. Oh he didn't do it, but
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: no he did not. But she had her big old
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: titties out, and I think he was like focused on
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: them titties. So shout out to the titties, man, titties
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: be saving yes from jail. Almost got it in Charlotte
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: one time. Girl driving and as soon as the call
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: told me, I was like, sir, I was trying to
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: take my shoes off. But I was so drunk. He
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: was like, so you wouldn't mind taking breathalyzing. My ship
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: was right under the limit because what if what if
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: I said no? Like, maybe he would take me to jail.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: I didn't know what the fund to do and I
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: was drunk. Right, we gotta stop doing that. We were here,
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: We talked back. We do not promote drinking and driving. Okay, guys, uber, listen,
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: I drive, list man, just me up. I'll take you
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: safely where you need to go. Very well, Hey, that's
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: what I wanted to do. I wanted to get a list.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: I'm not doing that ship no more. Me and I
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: always going it ain't always going in like that when
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: y'all made it through, nigger made it. I don't do it.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: We're cool, don't do it. I'm not going to. I
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: can't listen. All right, So we have very special guests
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: on We talked Back today. Listen, we have a Dalon Lane.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: A lot of people have been asking about Dalon Lane.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: He was a guest on our very our second episode. Um,
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: no church in a while, No church in a while,
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: A long time ago, right, So he's back and he
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: has this beautiful life in him. No church in a while.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: If you guys, didn't listen at the time, no Church
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: in the wild. We talked to Dylan about his open marriage.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: Hold on, wait, what do you say her name? Oh? Sorry?
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: Sorry ha ha. You know what Haley Lane sounds like.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: You'd be like on the Suicide Squad, don't you know?
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: We call her Haleien because she's an alien. She's from
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: out of this world, that's what that's what we call her.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: They don't make them like. I'm a very her point
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: of view on this topic because she's lived obviously my side,
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: but bringing her side in so that I can kind
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: of get my justification where it's like everybody like people
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: think that it's like, oh, you try to manipulate your
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: wife or your girlfriend and fiance into one in this
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: open relationship. It's like, well, how about we let her speak,
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: let her speak, get her side of it. Because listen,
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: Dylan spoke very highly of his wife. Everybody loved that too. Yeah.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: I just listened to the last episode before this so
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: that I can get it fresh in my brain. It's
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: he's so good with the words, he's so sweet and
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: does speak very highly embarrassing. Well, there's reasons if there
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: was a really like listen, straight shooter, Like, if my
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: wife was trash, she wouldn't be my wife because I'd
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: be like, yo, you're trash, and I would leave, like,
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: because that's how this ship works. Like and if and
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: if I'm trash, it's her job to see the truth
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: of what I am as not being up to par
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: and then leave my mass. So when I speak of her,
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: I speak truthfully and hopefully she's doing the same, and
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: I think she is. Obviously we do have her flaws,
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: but we accept those flaws. That's the that's the key
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: is to actually be like, Okay, yo, I'm a person,
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: you're a person. What are our flaws? These are my flaws,
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: here's my strengths. Now let's do something about this and
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: work with this and then grow grow together on this
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: by helping each other with each other's flaws and then
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: also like continuing to nourish and water our strength so
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: that we can actually grow as people. And this is
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: part of that. This has been part of that, Like,
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: this has been a major part of it because Rome
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: was growing past it, because we've gone through it for
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: so long, like we haven't even been exploring it because yo, yeah,
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: this will be interesting. It will almost take me kind
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: of back because I really haven't been delving into that
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: world lust, so this will be a refresher, right, And
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: I think that's the misconception A lot of people have
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: what open relationships, And what I told Dylan on that
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: episode was to me, an open relationship is just open
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: lines of communication. Like I want to always be able
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: to be myself with whoever I'm with and whatever whatever
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: you know, however I am, I want to I don't
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: want to have to tweak myself at all for anybody.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: And because I don't require that, yeah, I only require
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: have been a time of just self discovery, figuring out
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: what I want to do with my life, who I am,
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: what excites me, what I'm passionate about, and having a
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: partner that accepts me for who I am and we'll
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: go along that ride with me. That's really what I've
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: been wanting and I have in him, and I know
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: that we've been able to explore even the tough things,
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: even like you know other people. So so if we
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: can do that, we can do anything. Yes, you have
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: to literally remove your ego from your relationship in order
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: to let your partner. We're acting the parts to dissolve
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: our egos anyway. So what happened was this was like
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: a natural result of it because are like we literally me,
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: I will say me. I had built an identity around
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: this open relationship as part of my ego, and like,
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: once you actively like I know that, Tammy. We talked
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: a little bit about like spiritual practices and stuff like that.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: When you actually start to do that stuff in practice,
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: it reveals to you where you're trapped in your ego.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: And one of my biggest ego t apps was building
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: an identity around an open relationship. It was literally it
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: was letting my ego survived. It was like I need
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: to be able to go and funk other people because
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: like if I don't, I lose my identity. But then
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: you actually start to dissolve that and try to dissolve it,
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: and now you're like, WHOA, A major part of my
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: identity is the fact that I want to go and
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: be separate from my wife and funk other people. What
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: kind of suffering is this creating for my ego? And
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: what kind of suffering is it creating for her? But
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: also her willingness to accept that and be like, yo,
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: it's cool, work through your problems. We're going to get
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: out on the other side of this safely and together,
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: and you won't have to do that stuff. And then
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: if we still do it together and explore it and
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: have fun every now and then, whatever. But my whole
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: identity isn't built around it. So I was preserving my
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: ego and I wasn't. My lust was never really my thing.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: But I dated somebody from senior year of high school
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: and then all through college, so I was in a
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: serious relationship with somebody for five years. And college for
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: me was a huge time of like waking up to
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: new ideas, meeting people that were different than me because
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: I came from a small town and then I was
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: suddenly somewhere where people were doing all kinds of different things,
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: so I wanted to explore. I felt like I didn't
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: get a chance to explore that side of myself before
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: meeting Dylan, So once we did meet, I was still
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: in that space of life, I want to look up
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: with people and have fun and like go on dates
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: and just like do whatever I want. And he was
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: more coming from a place of like, I'm not ready allowed.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: I'm not ready to let go of this identity yet,
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: and I still want to explore this. So we were
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: coming at it from different angles. But but I feel
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: like I kind of got a lot of out of
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: the system. I've I've already explored when I need to explore.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: I'm still open to whatever might come to me in
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: the future, but I'm no longer actively trying to make
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: that happen. Tell tell them how the paper that you
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: in college before you ever met me, yes soted you
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: manifested him. I think it was my junior of college.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: I was in a research writing class and our teacher
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: was really cool. She was like this old, like hippie,
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: really chill, fun lady, and she would start our classes
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: by giving us a topic and we would write write
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: about it for a minute, and then we go around
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: the room and share what we wrote. And so the
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: topic one day was cheating, so we all took a minute,
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: we wrote about how we felt about cheating, and then
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: we went around the room and shared. And I remember
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: my my take on it was like, you know, there's
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: porn and strip clubs, Why do you need to actually
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: stick your dick in something? Why can't you just go
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: watch this and then do it yourself? Like I don't.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: I didn't really understand like, why do you have to
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: go physically made it happen. But as we went around
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: the room, people were sharing that either they were in
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: an relationship or they knew somebody in an open relationship,
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: and I was just like my mind was blown, and
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: I was like, what is this? So we had to
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: write a research paper on cheating and I ended up
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: researching open relationships and I read all about different people's
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: experiences with open relationships and I was like what. Meanwhile,
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: I'm still with this guy that I was with for
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: five years through college and he would have not been
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: open to this idea at all. So I researched this.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: By the time I got to the end of the paper, yeah,
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: this like makes a lot of sense that people should
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: totally do this and try it out, because I don't know,
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: it seems to be working for people. But but I
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: swallowed that I held that broke up with him, and
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: then I was like, all right, now I'm ready to
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: Like early in our relationship and we first met was
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: like like really early, like within a month, I was like, wow,
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: we could like tire together, Like, but how do how
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: do we get to that stage? I don't know? And
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: in the meantime, like, there's no way I'm only having
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: sex with one person, because I'm literally read that I was.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: I wanted to, I want to, and she had the
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: background you wanted. I didn't have wanted. I think I was.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: I was the third day. I had like a one
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: night stand the night and was ready ready. He was ready.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: Damn it, he was ready right before. But wait, did
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: you break up with him so that you couldn't there
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: a problem? When she wrote the paper, it was I
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: knew I was growing beyond where he was, and it
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: was only a matter of time before I was going
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: to I need to go my own way. And you know,
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: he like didn't have his driver's license, he had never
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: had a job, he had graduated college two years before me,
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: and was living at home with his mom. Never was
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: taking any initiative to do any of these things. So
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: I was just kind of over all of that and
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: I wanted to. That was assignment a little home and hers.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: You can't lie about it, you know, yes, exactly for it. Yeah, Yeah,
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: we we've got that man like what like three hours.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: If we hadn't gone out price, it would have probably
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: taken like twenty seconds. I'm not that seconds. Hey, we
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: were both Like I was in a new city. I
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: was like I was standing around like I didn't know
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: what to do. And everybody that I met in person
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: in the little city that I moved to, like they
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: were all they were already like wiped up. And I'm
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: like seeing all these hot chicks and I'm alone. And
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: then my buddy, Yo, I'm dead serious. I was literally
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: making e Harmony account swear to sucking it up. And
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: my buddy's like, Yo, why don't you do Tinder? And
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: I was like the fun is Tinder? Did tend? I
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, this is this is insane.
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: There's a roster here, this is a roster. I was like,
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: this is they literally make curate the roster for you.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: And it's like, Yo, this is crazy. So I started
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: dating people and then when we had hung out, I
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: was like I was dating like two people like actively.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: The one wouldn't hook up at me unless we were
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: like boyfriend girlfriend. And I remember straight up being like, Yo,
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: this girl she doesn't want to she won't hook up
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: with me, like unless I'm her boyfriend. And I was
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: basically like, yo, I still want to hang out with you, though,
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: but I want to hook up with her, and how
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: do you like. At first, I was like okay, you know,
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: like I just want to hook up, so that won't me.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: But then I went home and I talked to my
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: brother about it, and I was like this dude like
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: wants to ask someone to be his girlfriend, but still
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: fuck me, Like what should I do? He was like,
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: you sound like a shitty person. I was that shitty person.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry here, I'm not wanting anything. And then I
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: got that pussy and I was like, not worth it.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: I swear to god. She was hot as fun. But
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: then when I went out, I mean we could get
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: into the details of it, but when I went down
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: on that thing, I was like, all right, it was
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: over set of god. Swear of God. And I was
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: like this ain't it. And then like literally I've never
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: come out with her again. This was taking place over time,
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: so like, as I kept hanging out with her and
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: I was hanging out with the other girl, and then
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: I ended up actually hooking up with this girl before
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: we were boyfriend girlfriend. I was like, wait, I'm trying
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: to do all this stuff with these girls, and it's like,
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: but here's this woman right here that's like she's she's
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: actually accepting all of this, like whoa, Like, wait, maybe
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: we're actually building an actual relationship here. And then we
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: just kept being more and more open, Like the first
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: night we were talking about politics and religion and I
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: was super atheist at the time. My dad was crazy
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: and weird, and I told all these crazy stories about
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: my dad, and we were just very forthcoming, and so
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: this natural relationship developed. And then it was like, wait, yeah,
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: neither of us had expectations, very honest, like there was nothing.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: There was no reason not to be because and I
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: wasn't like that those other girls. I was putting the
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: mask on where I was like, oh, I want you
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: to like me, so I can smash, we can hang out,
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: and so like I can have a companion in a
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: new city. Meanwhile I have the fucking like literally the
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: goat of all women, of all women, of all women,
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: another woman. And then and I'm like wow. But then
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: it's like my ego was still so identified with sex.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: But it's like we just had this connection that transcended
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: sex that we knew was gonna we had to let
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: play out, but we didn't know it at the time
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: how it was going to play out, but we trusted
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: We trusted each other based on the relationship that we
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: had built, and then we trusted the fact that maybe
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: we could go beyond that at some point. We didn't
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: know that at the time, but like as we started
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: to yeah, we were just letting it unfolded. It really
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: wasn't any pressure of like where is this going? What
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: are we gonna do? It was just like we're enjoying
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: our time, We're enjoying each other. We can be open
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: and honest, like let's just keep chuck it all. Yeah,
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: sounds like a great start. This is what always people
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: are like, wait, especially like talking to people on like
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: Tinder and Bumble, and then like all the dates that
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: ended up going on, it's like how, why, what when?
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: And it was like, well, really the most important thing
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: was the fact that at the beginning, and this is
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: what I incur I probably said on the last time,
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: but it's like at the beginning, when you are single
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: and you are dating, be as open and honest and
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: forward with everything and then let the person react and
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: if they react poorly, fuck them. You're single and dating,
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: Like fuck them, you just told them your truth that
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: they're negatively respond whatever. A lot of time meant especially
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: because I mean, women don't know. I think we've learned
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: to like not tell it youth sometime because men can't
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: handle it. To me, men the ego can't handle your truth, right,
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: So men, oftentimes you really don't meant you meet his representative.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: And then once you give the now you're meeting the
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: real me. If people would just be honest day one,
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: and you give people the opportunity to put you know,
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: don't put my life in your hands. Give me the
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: opportunity to decide what to enjoy period in the open
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: relationship is that people that I have met, I've been
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: very upfront about, like, hey, I have a husband and
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: this is what we do, and we're open in this way.
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: And by being so honest about that, it's like they
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: have no reason to be dishonest to me because they
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: already know, like I'm down and I have a relationship,
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: Like there's nothing that I'm looking for from you other
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: than yourself. So I really I feel like I've met
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: very authentic versions of people that way. And age it's
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: your point, You're like you didn't want to talk, are you?
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: It's hard to be forthcoming with men because you're literally
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: meeting their representative and that's why I like everything that
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: I just said, I feel like applies more to the man,
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: because the man is like the will and the woman
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: is the way. And it's like you want to marry
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: the will in the way, so the will, like I'm
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: out looking like as a man in the dating pool,
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: it's like my will. I have to manifest like the
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: best version of a man, a male's will, and then
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: the way will open up. So it's not up necessarily
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: to you to bring forth the the truth because like
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: what you said, you have to kind of be apprehensive
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: with men because you're meeting their representative. It's like on
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: the man to just go into the into the dating
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: pool and be like this is who I am as
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: a man, and like you can be the way to
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: my will or you can like leave it. But like
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: if men come in with this weak ass, lying ass
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: will yet, but that's what you like, you're not gonna get.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: You're not going to get the queen. You can't get
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: the queen. I'm not acting like the king, but sometimes
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: I don't even want to. I just want the queen. Listen,
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: look at it, look at my collectionously it's like for
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: me and it's not even quality pussy. It's just a
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: bunch of I was listening to the last episode and
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: he was saying like he would just swipe right, swepe right,
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: like one after the other, one after the other. And
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: I'm like, if you don't have a nice face, if
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: you don't look like a genuine person, if you don't
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: have a buy some type of criteria tells me anything
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: about you, I'm swiping left. I don't. I don't. I'm
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: not trying to sleep with random Like, yeah, I'm attracted
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: to who has a decent personality and who looks like
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: a genuine person. So that's like really narrow. See, that's
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: what most men would call cheating. So men would call
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: that cheating because of the way women go about their selection.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: So it's not like we're gonna have these a bunch
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: of random men, quality men, quality women. I don't want
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: him to go shack up with some random in the street.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: Like and I noticed that when I when I come
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: on and the thing is like this is the thing
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: I've done that, And then like what it does is
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: like first of all, even after like you get what
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: you want, like you feel like ship and then like
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: you also feel like you literally just gave yourself away
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: to like the lowest bidder and like it literally makes
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: you something, like you literally feel and it's like, yeah,
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: because nobody else wanted those pussies. That was because they
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: would have already been scooped up. So if they're if
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: they're like I'm it's like I'm looking for like the
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: quickest pussy, but it's like the quickest pussy is like
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: the least quality pussy. Hanging me. Just grab that love
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: that you just said that, because yes, it really is.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: It's like, oh, let me take this apple right here,
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: it's right in front of me. Whereas like, but it's
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: so funny. It's so funny because like with her, I
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: got it quick, which is so funny, like because it's
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: like it kind of contradicts itself. So when I said
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: earlier it might have seconds, that was a lie. But
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: we also hit it off very quickly, and it felt
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: like I was also in the mindset of like, if
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: this works out and goes there, I'm down. And it
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: did and it felt natural and I was. I was there.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: But if you would have been to some loser, I
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: would have went home. Hold on, dam let's stay some bills.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: Was it a time especially in the beginning where you
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: feel like this ship ain't it and that this is
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: hurting and I don't like it. I'm thinking about like exiting.
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: Have you ever felt like that? There were definitely moments
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: throughout a relationship where I was like fuck, like yeah,
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: that that made me jealous. I don't know if I
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: like that when that happened, but it almost it always
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: just led to conversation and we can meet. I'll come
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: home on like a Friday night after working all week
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, yo, look at this girl. She said
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: she's down to fucking and she's just like, Yo, that
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: girl is really hot. Like you like, have you have
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: to like you have to go, like you have to go.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: You might be a hale because I'd be like that
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: bitch looked like she got hurt. Stay that's okay, but
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: all right, So to go off of the exit thing.
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: I remember there was a time in like two thousand
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: sevo eighteen where I was like starting a business and
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: I was like, I felt that there was a chance
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: that there was going to be a lot of opportunities
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: and I might be traveling and I was like listen,
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, like, how do you actually feel because
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: like I could literally be gone for like weekends and
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: I could be smashing people like are you sure? Like
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: I remember specifically we're up in our bedroom and I'm like, yo,
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: this literally could be like this, and she's just like
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: it's cool. Shut the funk up, like stop projecting your
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: insecurities on me, and like, yo, I'm here. Also the
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: type of person that, like when we were in a
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: long distance relationship, that was great. I like to have
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: my space. I like to be oh, I like to
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: do my own thing. I'd like to have my space
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: if I don't have a lone time, like I start
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: to feel get out, get yours out here. She ended
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: a football game yesterday. Can I just like I'm going
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: to the room upstairs. I'm definitely like that. So I
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: think this is like the perfect the perfect thing because
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: then we're both able to be individuals but also accept
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: each other, love each other, support each other through our challenges,
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: and then keep being able to be individuals and come
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: back together. So I just know that his his main
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: struggle is with lust, and he describes it as a
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: struggle for him. For me, it was like it was
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: an exciting opportunity, like like a discovery time with my life.
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: For him, it's more something thing that he wants. He
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: knows he struggles wants to get over. So I'm here
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: to support that. And I understand that that's something he
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: does want to go through and struggle through. And I'm
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: and like this, I know it's a struggle because if
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: I want to set it down, sometimes I can't, and
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: it like overtakes me where it's like I literally just
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: have to take action to do this thing. But it's
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: like I know that it's not good to do it
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: all the time. It's better to attract it than to
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: seek it. Like I call it like the dog. It's like,
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: if somebody wants to invite my dog out, that's better
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: than me just running around as the dog trying to
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: get people to do what I want. I couldn't. I
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: didn't have that patience to just like attract attract. I
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: wanted to go and will it into existence and make
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: it happen. And what I've noticed is that it would
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: take its way attention from other things. It would drain
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: my energy. It would drain my energy for her for
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: finance ship like I'd be spending money on dates just
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: to get some fucking pussy it's like this is a
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: strong This isn't this isn't like fun like it was.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: It was the whole thing. Well yeah that's true, that's true,
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: but it was like it was any wet hole. But
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: it's like the reason it's it's like she sees that
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: she's she knows that it's not like something where I'm
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: like trying to take advantage or she knows that I'm like, ye,
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: literally struggling here. Yeah, it's not anything personal, but it's
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: it's gotten better, Like it's it's like and it's because
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: of like our communication through these struggles and like having
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: her come home late when I didn't, when my date
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: blew me off for our or her date she doesn't
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: want to go or whatever, and then I go out
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: and come home late, and then she's distant and like
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: we just feel the attention, and it's like this is
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: like genuinely something that's not easy, and like we have
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: to grow through. We have to communicate about it, we
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: have to express our feelings, we have to share, we
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: have to communicate, we have to share. It hurts talk
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: about anyway, and then all of a sudden, like starts
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: to fall away and you start to have a really
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: good foundation that you built through, like I call it
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: growing through your ship. That's depleting energy. That would be
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: my only problem in an open relationship because I would
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: be down for there. All of that ship sounds really
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: good honestly, except for you spending your money on this
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: a bit. It would have to be exactly pussy. It
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: would have to be that always did that. That always
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: has been a thing that I'm like because I feel
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: like he's very conscious of his finances, very conscious of
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: his spending, so like we'll go out and we only
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: want to spend this much. But then like, but last weekend,
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: you just bought this girl that you don't even know,
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: like six drinks to say that this is this is
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: an this is direct experience I had. I remember taking
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: a girl out. Meanwhile she's out at it was a
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: nice ass place with the dude buying the whole thing.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: So I'm like, yo, she's getting hurt. He's like, he's
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: got my back. He's buying all her food, all her drinks,
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: wining and dining her. Mean while I could go and
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: do this. So I'm like, all right, that ship cancels out.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: That's true. Maybe that's not exactly I don't feel that
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: the only place you can take that buses Chick fil
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: A on Sunday. No place. I don't want to expect
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: anyone to buy me a drink either, Like I always
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: offered to buy my own drinks. I mean they usually
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: will buy it anyways, but I don't know, I feel,
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm like, I don't want you to
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: think that you're buying. Yeah, I'll buy my own drinks.
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: If I like you that I'll come home with you.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: I like when hey, I need I need something a packard.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: I mean they always, but there has been plenty of
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: girls and women. There's been plenty of women that buy
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: me drinks and buy me food and have done that,
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: and like I've that ship was always like hell yeah,
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: hell yeah, you can buy your own drink, thank you.
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: I'll have to take the ship out of my budget. Ladies.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: You know we talked back, do not promote buying drinks,
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: and this is not part of our mission. It's actually
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: the exact office because if I pay for something, that's
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: only because I don't want you to expect nothing afterwards.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: Them always setting though, I don't want there to be
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: any expectations, Like you know that I'm in an open relationship,
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: but that is not This is not like a free pass,
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: Like just because I'm out with you doesn't mean you
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: get to get in my parents. And I think that
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: that's something that happened. Has happened a lot where I'll
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: be open and talking about the fact that I'm in
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: an open relationship and people think that that's an invitation,
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: Like no, like just just sharing something about my life,
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: This is not an invitation. The thought process for me,
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: if we're in open relationship, what else we gonna do
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: but fun? Like that's how I would see, Like I'm
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: not trying to build nothing with you. So if we're
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: getting together, fucking or not, so then there's that there's
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: my thing, because that's what I was saying earlier, like
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: isn't to me. It's not always about sex with somebody else.
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: It could be like about access to different things that
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: the person you would never have access to. You know,
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: I have realized for me, I don't get much out
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: of having sex with a stranger like there's I did
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: for a little while it was a discovery exactly fun
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: like I was in that phase of my life, but
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: now I'm just like you learned somebody else that was
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: your pussy, Like that's how I feel. Yeah, yeah, you
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: said that on the last Like I'm more interested in
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: being able to go sit at a bar after work
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: and have a conversation with a man and not feel
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: guilty like I'm doing. I just want to be able
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: to connect with people. And if that connection takes me
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: two sex, cool, Like I'm open to that, But that's
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: not That's where I'm at to be open to connecting.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: That's where I'm at with open relationships because like I
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: said on that episode, like how do you go through
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: And I've said this plenty of times now, Like you
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: can't really go through life without connecting with somebody of
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: the opposite sex. And you can be in a relationship
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: with somebody who's limiting you from these from these connections
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: because of their ego. You know, you may allow them
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: to explore and do whatever it is that they want
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: to do. Because I think a lot of times, um
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: in the beginning of relationships and even if you're not
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: in a relationship, you're a man and a woman haven't
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: even talked about being in a relationship. Men automatically think
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: pushy is on reserve for them, Like so you just
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: I assume that people are sucking somebody when you meet them.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: I don't just assume. I just don't assume. I just
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: exactly just sitting here waiting for you to ride on
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: on a fucking horse. Mitll have all these things going on,
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: and they want every woman, every woman to be like
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: committed to them all while they're fucking everybody. If you
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: even experienced that, I'm married, and I've even experienced that
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: from people that I've hooked up with once that are like,
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: why don't you want to hang out with me more?
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: Why can't you be more available? I'm like, exactly, and
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: I'm still in a yeah because to me, like yeah,
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: that's just like all right. On our last episode Tahoe,
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: he was a guest on he said his the woman
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: he was seeing was married, and she said that her
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: husband came in her and he made her go to
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: um CBS to take a plan B, like how dare
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: you let your He didn't make her. I'm pretty sure
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: she agreed with that ship he didn't like he said
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: in the story, he put the plan be in her
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: mouth with the water that's come in. But you can't
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: do that, yo, And I know this, I know this
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: from experience with my friends and with people that are
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: not my friends and just men in general, is like
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: they really are, like, Yo, my girl could never touch
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: another man, but like you best believe I'm cheating whenever
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: the funk I want. And it's like, yo, you are.
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: And I'm the one that said, listen, whatever whatever we
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: decide in this relationship, I'm down for. You can't just
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: think you're going to be doing this and I'm not.
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: This is not because and a lot of men's mind
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: like women don't operate that way like we're above that
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: or we're on this pedestal, but we're sexual beings too.
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: So yeah, I come home you every night. I'm faithful
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: to you. But why would you think that never in
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: life another man is going to never cross my mind? Like,
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: why would you think that Some days you get on
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: my fucking nerves, especially and I know somebody that won't
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: it on my nerves? And setime, if you're out here
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: getting all this sad pussy, and I know you are, yes, yes, well,
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: And my thing is too, like where I am with
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: the open relationship is I'm not out there actively seeking it.
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: If Dylan wants to go out and actively seek it.
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: I'm that's fine. I don't that's fine with me, but
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: I'm not doing that. But I want the opportunity that
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: if randomly on a Wednesday afternoon, some dude and I
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: catch eyes across across the big and he wants to
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: fun like Larry looking at the yeah, and you're like, oh, like,
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: and that's fine, like you you should be able to
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: do that. But I feel like it doesn't have to be.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: I feel like there was a time where I kind
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: of felt like we had to have an even playing field,
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: like what you want on a date last week? So
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: I need to figure out someone I can go on
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: a date with this week so that you know, we're even.
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: But if I were trying to keep up with that,
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: I would have been waiting. I you know, And it's
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: just not It doesn't fulfill me. It doesn't fulfill this
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: need that I have inside, like I I just don't
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: feel this pull towards it anymore. And earlier we were
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: talking about like, you know, men fulfilling other roles, and
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: it's like, well, also women fulfilling other roles for me,
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: especially related to like the information that I was like
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: listening to in books and podcasts and stuff. Like I
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: wanted other people to talk about It's like I'm my
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: friend group Dave heard me talk about this ship. They're
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: over it. She's heard me talk about the ship all
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: the time. Now I meet this girl, she's not only
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: physically attracted to me, but she's open to listening to
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: my ideas and their new ideas for her. I can
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: literally watch her like receive the information like nobody's ever
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: told me that. Nobody's ever said that, Wow, where did
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: you get the information from? And that made me feel
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: good too. That was not sexual. That ship was just
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: like an exchange of energy. What I started to realize
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: was like that was always the most meaningful thing. Yes,
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: it was always the most Like I had this girl
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: that I dated. What I mean she literally was like oh,
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: it was almost like the most of a girlfriend. But
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: like I saw her like twelve to fifteen times at least,
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: and we were like hitting it off like she was
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: a LEO two. She was open to everything that I
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: was saying, Like we we hit it off in all aspects.
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: But then it started to be like yo, she started
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: texting me like a girlfriend and like we were talking
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: to each other like it was more than that. But
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: it was like we had built a relationship because she
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: listened to me and heard me. And then I was like, Okay,
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: we gotta step back from this. Like she actually took
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: the initiative to step back from it. She's like, I
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: can't be with anybody that goes home to another woman,
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: and I was like, that's that's fair. Like, but like
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: what I got from it that wasn't sexual was so important.
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: But it's like I realized I could get that from
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: not just women, but men and everybody talking about this
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: is the this what we're doing right here was always
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: the best part of it. So like, yeah, we like
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: hang out, eat, drink, get fucking, and then we'd started
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: having these deep conversations and like that's for the most
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: meeting would come from. And I'm like, wow, why can't
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: I just meet people and not need to just suck
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: them and just talk to them? And like that's why
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: men in that way. Men think women are liking that way,
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: like as if we cannot hang with the opposite sex
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: and not want to have sex with them, like men
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: want to every woman they come in contact with a
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: lot of times. But I can have a male friend
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: that I've never had sex with and I want to
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: be able to talk to that person. Yeah. Sometimes I
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: try to have a friendship with a man and it'll
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: be cool and I'll be calling him bro and they'd
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: be sisters. He'll call me sis, And then all of
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: a sudden, I feel a hand on my thigh. I'm like,
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: what the fuck? Where did this friendship? Yeah? Do have?
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: But you do have male friends that that would never
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: happen with, right right exactly, even even like do have
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: that sex with but you realize, hey, we're good, we're
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: better off as friends, Like yeah, yeah, I feel like
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: I've maintained a lot of like I wouldn't say friendships
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: online relationship like you know, I'm checking in with people
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: occasionally or like commenting on their story on Instagram. I'm
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: making like in a monogamous relationship, they'll consider that cheating.
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: My word was fraternizing, which I don't even want to
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: call it fraternizing because it's just me communicating with another
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: human being, like what the fuck, Like, hey, I resonate
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: with this thing, yeah that you posted? But then the
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: really in a relationship where somebody's looking at that, it's
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: just all sexual to them. Everything about it is sexual,
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: like and that's a projection. That's an ego projection because
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: that's what they would do in that situation. That's what
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: I've learned. They're like they're projecting. Yeah, they're projecting what
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: they would be doing in that situation onto you and
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: assuming that you would act how they would act. That's
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: why when men come at women like what are you
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: doing talking to that guy? That's a that's a guaranteed
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: indicator that they're talking about. Okay, hold that thought one second,
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: Let's pay some bills. So I have a question, like,
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: do y'all have like boundaries that y'all sit, sexual boundaries,
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: y'all sit like, hey, he can't ain't no anal, no
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: anal bring people back to the house. No, no anal.
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah we don't. I don't funk with the butt anyway.
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: So sorry ladies that want to get but that's like
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: neither of us are interested type of thing. Um, but yeah,
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: no bringing people, no straight pussy in the house. Yeah,
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: and I broke in that rule, and she's broken that rule.
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: We've gone through ways. We've changed the rules up a
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: lot too. There's very few rules now. It's more just like,
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: you know, wear protection, don't bring people into the house.
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: Unless we're involved. Um, I definitely know that she has
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: not always weren't protection, and I definitely know that I
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: have not. Let's talk about that, because that would be
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: my own problem with relationships, man, because I really do
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: not like winning condoms. So I'm open to having a
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: non monogamous relationship. I'm open to having a monogamous relationship,
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: but I just don't like condoms, like I don't like
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: calling them. So I'll stick with one person. I'll just
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: be where I'm at. See, I prefer always do know, like,
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: don't bring that raw dick over here, because I'm gonna
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: go crazy about it. Please put that condom on? What raw?
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: I started acting like a nut? I would love it too,
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: if you know I hit that crazy button in the
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: back of the pussy. Yeah, and you're all right, we
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: getting married? Where are you at? Where are you at
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: looking for him at night with a flashlight? Right? I
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: trust our judgment. I don't know. I'm not like if
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: I found out like, oh my god, you didn't wear
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: a condom, I wouldn't be like over, We're done. This
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: is terror. It's more just like giving us kind of
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: guidelines so that we're not running around like animals. Yeah,
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: I'm not if if something happened then you brought somebody
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: back home, that would probably be the point that would
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: bother me the most. We just had to do it together.
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: If we do that, like and we've done that. We
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: did that one time and it was like, yeah, I
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: don't want that's my spot. I could be on my
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: he could be on my huckey dick. But to y
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: when you put it like that, though, it's so funny.
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: It's it's hilarious, it's serious, it's hilarious, but it's it's
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: been it's been changed so many times because it just
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: realized some of them. It's just like this doesn't even
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: make sense. You can't really limit this one thing in
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: this one area. You just have to trust each other.
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: And like I definitely have moved into like I mean,
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: like I've said earlier, like we're not really exploring it,
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: but it's like I'm trying to sacrifice like low hanging
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: fruit and like just not like the other day, like
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: I met this random ass woman on the street with
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: dogs and like we ended up like hanging out. She
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: bought me a fucking uh like a clean juice. I
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: was watching her dog, so she could go get a
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: clean juice. We end up like hanging out, go back
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: to her pool, and the whole time, my dog is
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: like she's gonna suck your dick, and I didn't. Yeah,
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: dead ass serious. That's where a guy was so fucking annoying.
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: But then I didn't and she and it felt so
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: good to like not want that because like I genuinely
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: connected with the person. We both needed organic human communication.
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: She bought me a goddamn clean too at her apartment
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: on the South End. It was nice as fuck exactly,
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: and like she had too cool ass dogs. I was like,
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: she was yo. She let me talk about like what
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: I was talking about earlier, like all the information that
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: I've been consuming. She was years for the information. So
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: I got that exchange of energy with another person, didn't
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: needed to sexualize it. And when I left, I literally
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: felt so much gratitude and love and abundance and joy.
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: I was literally Meanwhile, if it was me, if I
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: bought you a clean juice, you owe me some dick
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: before you go. I didn't get that clean juice for nothing, Like, yeah, bitch,
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: I bought that clean juice. Not get this, Like why
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: you being aware to me? Yeah, exactly. Yo. That's the
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: thing too, is like when I felt objectified by like
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: in particular gay men, trans men, and older women, Like
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: I've literally got to experience directly how I make women
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: feel sometimes and it's uncomfortable, and it really it humbled
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: me when I'm especially in lift, when I'm like one
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: on one with the person and then they're like objectifying
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: me and I'm not attracted to them, or they're like
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: just being weird. I'm like, damn, I'm like, I really
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: do this ship to people, Like I've really made people
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable just trying to like sexualize them and objectify them.
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: Here I am getting sexualized and objective. It's like, man,
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: you just very humble, look over some weird as hell,
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: no little face Like men don't realize how creepy they be.
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: And it's just because you like me doesn't mean I
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: like you. I had a lift driver the other night
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: take a wrong turn on purpose somehow you I'm about
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: to take you with me. No, I said, sir, I
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: have a gun right here in my hand. I would
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: have told him ship. He would have got shot in
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: the back. That's right there. That's what I'm talking about, Okay, okay.
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: I'm just like I will pop your in his car. Yeah,
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: well that's the thing, is like, and that's like, well
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: that's that's what my mom said because she knows I'm
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: in a relationship and her first thing was be safe,
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: like there's freaks out there. Don't get yourself into any
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: bad situation. So that's always been like I really let
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: these people out before I go and go on a
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: date with them. I'm not I don't know. I trust
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: that he has because he's a man, so he can
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: he can. I'm not. I'm I'm not afraid of the person.
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: It's like, not what I am afraid is that if
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: I go to somebody's house, I don't know what their
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: man situation might look like where they got these crazy
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: as men. And that's another reason where it's like why
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: am I doing this? Like I'm in this person's house,
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: Like I don't know what their roommates are, Like I
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: don't know what their man situation is, Like I don't
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: know their dad might show up. I don't know if
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: he's paying a bill, Like I don't want to, Like
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: it's just you invite in weird situations, whereas like if
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: you just like attract it. It will come to you.
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: It will come to you less often, but maybe that's
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: the opportunity. Yeah, it will be somebody that's better aligned
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: with you anyway, if you attract it versus like going
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: what happened to try and get it? Like it happened
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: in Lake Left the other day, Like I was talking
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: to this girl and she was talking about how she
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: was writing a book about her fifty Worst fifty First Dates,
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: about her online dating experience, and she was talking about
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: some of the experiences we had been hitting it off,
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: like and um she uh. She was telling me that
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: she's a hoe, you know what I mean. And I
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: was like, well, it's funny that because I'm a hoe,
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: and then like yeah, and then she yeah, and she
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: was like all right about like she's talking. Then she
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: started talking about dinner, and then I literally was like
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: else you could eat before dinner and she just no.
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: She didn't say no, and she wasn't mad and she
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: could mean it was cool, but it was like because
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to seek it, like I'll take a
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: stretch on his situation to try and make something happen,
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: and like divine intervention just keeps being like embarrassing, right,
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: now a snack. Yeah, but the thing is yo. But
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: she might have been like, yes, let me tell you
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: women women. So this is somebody we know to tam
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: just this week or last week. The day's Monday. But
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: this guy she gave her a number two, was straightforward
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: with her and basically told her like, listen, I'm not
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: into conventional dating. I just I want to funk. I
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: want to suck you like I finally attractive. I want
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: to suck you. She was like, should I feel offended
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: by that? Like? I feel offendsed? Should I feel like
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: something way about that? I'm like, yeah, because we want
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: men to be straightforward and tell us what they want.
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: But what's something finesse please like? Because now like, no,
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: I don't want to suck you just because you asked
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: if you want to just took that took me conversation
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: and so they talked about doing drinks. But in his mind,
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: like I appreciate that, but I also want to suck
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: I don't like I appreciate honestly, don't trying to waste
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: her time. Just I don't want but but I'm not
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: gonna suck you. But you know I'm not. But I
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: at least know that that's what this is. So I
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: can move on, you know I can, But how do
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: you But how do you feel as a woman where
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: a man just coming about me made you feel like
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: you could just say I want to fuck you. It
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: wasn't about you. The act too true that but also
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: like with the situation here, like we have built a
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: report and like when she started saying that she's a
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: home and she had all these bad dates, and I'm like, damn,
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: I'm an open aerage, like this is my chance to
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: like you probably in the yeah, I'll give you a
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: in a book like you know, like I'm like, I'm
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: like this ship is alive. And she was like no,
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: right in the right leg. Oh my god. But like
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: it's just the writing is on the wall that like
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: I really have to like keep curbing this and keep
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: getting better at like controlling the dog and like let
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: the dog be invited out when the girl wants and
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: women like to choose, like we like you don't want
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: the time you you get what you want when you choose,
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: Like when a guy wants me, it's like but if
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: I want you and I pursue you, like it is
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: better for me because I get exactly what I want.
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: Even when I've been like on tender, anytime the conversations
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: turn sexual, I'm like a right bye, I'm out. This
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: is not like even though I'm in an open relationship,
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: I understand that that implies that I want to have sex,
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: but like that's not all. That's not the only thing
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: on my brain and at just the beck yeah, and
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: I feel like that's when yeah, and that's when men especially,
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: that's when you reach your highest self. When you can
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: turn down a bunch of straight pussy, When you can
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: turn down pussy, Like, imagine what else you can accomplish? Yes, yo,
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: Because it's literally sexual transmutation. You use that enter g
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: that comes in from the lower parts of your yourself
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: and you transmute it into action, into love, into better,
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: better speech because you're making more money type, because you
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: literally instead of waking that energy out, you're literally holding it.
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: There's like a big thing. It's like seminal retention. You
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: just don't let your semen out and then you have
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: the energy and you can use it for other things
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: and it's like you can advance so many and then
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: you get the better woman. Honestly, Like this is so
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: therapeutic too, and I think I think it helps people.
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: Glad that Hailey got to talk about it, because a
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: lot of this is all my choice. I actually have
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: enjoyed my sure and I'm sure about it, my girl. Okay, Okay,
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: so good, I do. I do. I want to keep
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: it open forever because I want to be open to
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: whatever life throws at us, however long life continues. So
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: that's beautiful. Yeah, very beautiful. I wish I'm with ego.
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: I gotta work on my ego. That's okay, that's and
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: you'll chip away at that, and like that will be
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: something that naturally happens anyway, Like it's an inevitable process.
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: So like if you're still living through the ego, mostly
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: just let it be and enjoy yourself too. But then
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: like also like you can see how it makes you
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: suffer and then just see how you like see the
• 51:22
  Speaker 1: cause and effect of like how you're acting versus like
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: the effects of the action. And it's like that's what
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: really changed it for me, was like I was like, man,
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: all the suffering in my life is like self generated,
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: Like it's all my own choices and I'm literally causing it.
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: I'm watching the effects. I don't like the effects, but
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: yet I'm the one that's taking the actions that cause them.
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, damn, this is humbling. So I when
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: you were talking earlier, you said, yeah, some my realtory
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: ahead a crush on her for five years, and I
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: was thinking to myself, Damn, Hayley is good because I
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: would have double back. I got it, Yeah, I got
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: I got embarrassed. I was you know, I wanted that forever.
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: She's very much like in the church, like she is
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: not unavailable. Hailey was basically like, yo, shoot your shot.
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah that she was like, bring her back. But she's like,
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: good luck. And I was like, I know, I'm fighting
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: out hill battle. But if this makes it to you,
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: offer stands right. But if it does, all right? All
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: right on that note, Oh my god, that's a nice outro. Alright, listen,
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: we enjoyed. We I've always right. I love talking to you, Dylan,
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: you love love you, Haley. Thank you very much. We're glad.
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: I'm very grateful for this because it's really just even
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: downloading the riverside makes us now want to take action
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: to continue to talk about what we get got going on,
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: and it's like we'll get to all that, but we
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: want to pu anything right quick, honestly, not right now.
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: Like we just we're continuing to work on ourselves and
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: like we're we're clearing out the obstacles to be able
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: to do more of this. Yeah, and we're like getting ahead.
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: We're like way ahead of where we ever thought we
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: could be at this age. So we're like we don't
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: need to we're not trying to rush it. But this
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: is like great little foundations that we're laying that like
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: build the they laid the bricks for the house that
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: we want to build, and it's like everything's free, everything's
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: cool right now, and it's like that's where we want
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: to be. We just want to be. We want to
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: be invited. That's what we want. And when people invite us,
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: we're gonna say yes, but we're not going to go
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: force it. We're not going to go force it. Yeah,
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: thank you so much, thank you. Alright, guys, alight, and
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: we really gotta get this wrapped up. I can stop it,
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: so listen. So if you enjoyed this episode, please tune
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: in every Thursday on an I Heart radio app or
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: whereever to fun you get your podcast at. Did your
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: co host a J and I'm official Tam bam. Y'all
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: following me all. I love y'all. Have a good one,
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: all right, good day, thank you,