Transcript

Rule 34 - h8dit 7 · thxh8dit

0:01
Turns out your grass has a disappointment kink and it only
0:04
likes it when you talk shit about it.
0:07
We walk out there tomorrow and it's just this lush grass.
0:10
What happened? It's super sad now.
0:16
Looks great. It's super sad grass though.
0:20
It's. Kentucky Bluegrass.
0:21
Couldn't mix it, no. No, it's sad.
0:23
It's. Bluegrass, you absolute madman.
0:39
That's Jesus. Welcome back guys.
0:46
Ryan the the Ever Wizard, Amber the Sleepy.
0:53
So. Sleepy and just in the
0:55
exhausted. Your boys done.
0:58
I'm cooked, I'm spent. Finished on the last two pieces
1:03
of the bread left. Thank you for thrashing and
1:10
dethatching my front yard today. Do bushes.
1:14
I did thrash your bushes. It looks great.
1:19
Yeah, I honestly that little son Joe, man, that thing kills it.
1:23
It did a great job. No, it's it's paid for itself
1:26
over and over and over again. Every time I use it, I'm
1:29
surprised by it because it is not the hardiest of machine.
1:33
Like I've run Bobcats that broke more.
1:35
Yeah, that thing just, it just keeps going.
1:38
I looked, I took one look at it and I was like, Oh, no, yeah.
1:42
It's like. When I bought it to do a good
1:44
job. When I bought it, dude, I, I
1:46
looked at the reviews, I, I did the research, everybody was
1:49
like, no, this thing's a killer. Like I cannot, I cannot believe
1:52
how good of a machine this is for 160 bucks, dude.
1:56
The first time I use it, I was like, this thing's phenomenal.
1:59
I don't know who built this. I don't know who Sun Joe is, but
2:02
they they over engineered that thing like crazy.
2:05
Every time I use it, I'm like, this thing's surprisingly
2:09
awesome. And it looks like it's just
2:11
plastic. It looks like a toy.
2:13
Yeah, it really just. Looks like a toy your kid like
2:15
your kids toy like lawn mower, like what you give to the child.
2:22
Yeah, my brother wanted to play. Here you go.
2:24
Yeah, my little brother wanted to mow with us.
2:28
Now it looks like a toy. And that thing, that thing is a
2:30
killer. Man.
2:31
I love that little thing. Speaking about toys and mowing,
2:36
have you seen the new Power Wheels?
2:39
I don't know if Power Wheels makes it, but it's a zero turn
2:43
lawn mower. It's a toy.
2:45
Battery powered zero turn lawn mower?
2:48
That's a toy. Oh, I need it.
2:52
I just, I don't know what I'd do with it.
2:55
I don't know what I wouldn't do with it either.
2:56
Honestly. I'd pull up two accounts in that
2:58
first, like when I go for an estimate that's on the trailer
3:04
and they're like, what's happening?
3:09
I'm like it's perspective. It's perspective.
3:11
You're standing further away from it.
3:12
It just looks small. It's actually orange too, so.
3:16
That would be so funny. Oh my God, even.
3:19
Funnier is what you just said. I was going to say that's what
3:22
they tell Ryan. And then he goes and it's orange
3:25
and I'm like, Oh my God. Yep, it's over.
3:31
It's bigger than it looks, I swear.
3:32
It's perspective. You're just lying down.
3:37
Nobody's ever told me that. That it's orange.
3:42
Yeah. False news.
3:51
Wrong. I'm trying to look this thing up
3:58
but I can't remember what app I'm supposed to be clicking on
4:01
Orange. Penises.
4:02
No, the Oh my gosh. Well, this is we're we're like a
4:08
minute and 1/2 in and. Immediately demonetized.
4:12
Yes, orange penises. We waited.
4:15
We waited till after the minute mark.
4:17
Thanks, hated it. That's what you come here for.
4:22
Or something. Immediate, immediate Dick jokes.
4:26
I mean, that's what somebody came for, right?
4:30
Hey. I'm killing it tonight.
4:34
You're. On fire, I'm unfortunately
4:36
yawning into the mic repeatedly. Fix yourself.
4:43
Apparently Tractor Supply has one.
4:48
The Little Tikes. 12 Volt zero turn lawn mower ride on toy red
4:53
and they have a black one. Oh my God, I need the black one.
4:57
Of course you do you. What are you, a shock jockey?
5:03
I think I do. Oh, this one's pro like.
5:06
Howard Stern, Of course it is. Kid Tracks is the.
5:11
Yes, don't like that name. It's 300 bucks.
5:16
Dude IA 100% have to have it. I write it off as a business
5:20
expense. It's equipment.
5:21
It's equipment. Will you stop?
5:25
Oh my gosh, people need to stop walking past my house.
5:29
Agreed, it's been going off all God damn day.
5:33
Berserk. Doesn't help that there's seven
5:37
or eight cameras. Yeah, but it's only two cameras
5:41
going off all day. All day.
5:45
It was mostly you guys, but yeah.
5:49
Do we have them all plugged in now?
5:52
Hell yeah. Yeah, they are.
5:54
I think you only have like one that's not plugged in in that
5:57
box. That box.
5:59
Yeah, yeah. We we have one that hasn't been
6:02
or we have two that hasn't haven't been put up yet.
6:06
Cameras. So we have 10.
6:10
No 8. We had eight.
6:14
I thought there was already 8 on the app.
6:16
We have. We have 7.
6:20
Including the doorbell. Including the doorbell, there's
6:23
six up right now. Is the this doorbell included in
6:26
the 8 No so 9? What?
6:31
Doorbell. This doorbell and that doorbell
6:33
is not So yeah, technically 10 cameras see.
6:37
I think we're covered. No, not, not.
6:40
Entirely and not even close. I also want like one above the
6:45
the cars like in the eve. Yeah, you're so he's, he's like
6:57
whining. Brand he's.
6:59
Like. We already tried and they didn't
7:02
want to he's take. Me A.
7:06
Take me A. Not my fault.
7:10
Take on me. OK I'm trying to copy this
7:14
stupid link so I can send this to you so you can have this
7:18
take. Me on.
7:22
Scroll it down. Thank you.
7:25
It's the most dysfunctional fucking episode we've ever done.
7:28
We're only four minutes in. I.
7:32
Mean I have been recording for 10.
7:35
So what? I just hit the record.
7:38
Button. Oh no, what did I say?
7:44
I was just talking when talking about the.
7:46
I need that instant delete button that Ethan Klein has.
7:52
I just get you an easy button. Well, the one that I wanted was
7:56
the like that old school thing they used to sell at Spencer's.
8:01
It's like a no. You hit it and it just goes no,
8:05
it's. But it's Donald Trump's voice.
8:07
No. Is he the most memeable
8:12
president? I think so, yeah.
8:13
JF KS up there, but that's like for that bit.
8:18
Well, no. Bush Junior was crazy memeable,
8:24
but he still is. Feel like Trump?
8:27
Trump's it. Does he trumpet?
8:30
I think Trump. Is the.
8:32
Most memeable trumpet. But yeah, towards the end of
8:36
Obama's, we had the Thanks Obama.
8:39
That's literally like the only thing.
8:42
There was there was quite a bit the. 1.
8:44
Wasn't as memorable as Trump's because Trump is literally a
8:47
meme in and of his cells and in and of himself.
8:52
Goodness gracious. The one that I remember from
8:54
Obama was when he kicked the door open after the presser.
8:57
Do you see that? I didn't know if that was real
9:00
or not. I was like, is this a deep fake?
9:03
It's so good. No, I I still use the Thanks
9:07
Obama. Yeah, on a regular basis,
9:10
because I love it so much, because it's so much fun just to
9:13
blame Obama for just the most mundane things.
9:16
I mean, it was only one president ago, so.
9:20
Technically, no. I I think one of the funniest
9:26
things from that meme is when he was on Jimmy Kimmel and they
9:33
were doing the read mean tweets about themselves.
9:35
Oh yeah, it was like. Oh yeah, those were the best.
9:38
His last like month in office and he was reading and it was, I
9:47
don't remember exactly what it was, but he said thanks, Obama
9:51
and it was beautiful. When the Chips Ahoy is just
9:54
slightly bigger than the glass you're dunking it into.
9:57
Thanks Obama, It's a good meme. When I realized the sprinkler
10:06
was broken. Thanks, Obama.
10:09
Actually could be direct from him.
10:12
The one that I like is the RFK right now, as everybody does his
10:16
voice and Tim Dillon does his voice so well.
10:20
Dude, it's, it's insane. I, I can't even, I can't even
10:23
attempt to like put it into sound.
10:26
It would sound terrible. Tim Dillon does it so well it's
10:29
scary. I think the combination of Adam
10:35
Ray as Biden and Shane Gillis as Trump, yeah, was the some of the
10:43
funniest. Content period.
10:46
Yeah, yeah. God.
10:49
That was good. I also love Shane talking about
10:54
the presidents. That Louis CK in four part
11:01
podcast is still one of my favorites to this day.
11:05
Yeah, 'cause he, he just, Shane just names off all of the
11:10
presidents in order. In order and then Louis like he
11:14
was blown away and then he he gave it to himself and he's like
11:19
all right now they do the vice presidents and then Shane's like
11:21
well. That's a that's a beautiful
11:28
thing. No I I do love it though.
11:30
They literally talked for 4 episodes, hour and a half long
11:34
and God knows how long it actually took without cuts and
11:37
edits and skips, but they literally talked every single
11:40
one. And they're like slightly
11:43
memorable quirky facts how they really were in real life.
11:48
Like all of them in order all the way up.
11:51
And it's like, that's an insane thing to do.
11:55
I think, yeah, I, I think that is unreal just to be able to do
12:04
that for as long as that was, you know.
12:07
It's fucking nuts that Shane is a history buff and then Louis's
12:11
like, I got you. I know exactly what you're
12:13
talking about and I I'll run it with you.
12:15
I'll be the the one who actually says most of the things about
12:19
most of them in order all the way through.
12:22
It's like how the where? How did these two legends
12:25
coexist like? How how did they come together
12:30
on a podcast? Nonetheless, That's that's
12:34
insane. There's so much random access
12:36
memory in their brains like to remember all of that as still
12:39
know their name. I would love to see them do a
12:46
Drunk History just themselves. I'm positive Louis was on Drunk
12:51
History. But those two together?
12:54
Oh yeah, I want to see Shane doing the reenactment, but Louis
12:57
is the one narrating. It's so funny.
12:59
But Shane? Shane is drunk as well.
13:01
Shane is John Quincy Adams. It's perfect, yeah.
13:05
He's he's drunk in the reenactment.
13:07
So good. Oh man.
13:13
It's so funny to me how much he drinks and it's like at this
13:18
point you think like, oh, he can't even get.
13:23
I'm so sorry. He's like he.
13:24
Can't do this to me. He can't even get drunk anymore.
13:28
It's like no, he gets drunk every time.
13:30
He can still drink 18 beers to the face He he does get drunk
13:35
though. Like he'll put the glasses on
13:37
and go do a podcast. It's amazing.
13:40
I I don't know how it's possible.
13:44
I I don't, I don't enjoy drinking to the point of getting
13:50
drunk anymore. I don't think.
13:53
Really. Yeah.
13:55
Appreciate it. Little baby.
14:02
But just to like put on your glasses like that and just like.
14:09
Become God? Yeah.
14:12
Agreed. Yeah.
14:12
Just go. It's cocaine helps.
14:16
Oh yeah, I'm sure. He's said that 1000 times.
14:19
He's like not without question. I'll just do a little key and
14:22
then we'll run it. We'll do a full podcast and then
14:24
I'll crash. They they did a thing where they
14:27
did a protector parks and it was Shane and Arie and Mark Norman
14:32
and Gillis and Rogan and they all drank like 18 beers apiece
14:38
and like had like 4 double whiskeys and like 10 cigars And
14:42
it's like a 5 hour podcast. And when they left, Rogan was
14:46
like deceased, like Rogan was dead.
14:50
He has he's died. You're no more.
14:53
He was slain. And then like halfway through
14:56
the next podcast, which is kill Tony, like an hour after Rogan
15:00
walks like half like halfway through Rogan walks in perfectly
15:03
sober. And Shane's like, no, it's not
15:07
possible. I left you for dead.
15:11
Like Rogan's fully fucking on it.
15:14
And he's just like, yeah, I'm, I'm an alpha male.
15:16
Shane, you wouldn't understand. It's like, it's incredible.
15:21
Reminds me of the Snoop Dogg story with oh what's his face
15:30
William? Nelson, William Nelson.
15:32
Oh my gosh, dude, he said. He said, yeah, we smoked so
15:38
much. I got so high.
15:41
And then he started rolling another one and I said, what are
15:45
you doing? And he said, oh, we're just
15:46
getting started. No, absolutely not.
15:49
I have to leave Willie. Willie, I have to go if you have
15:53
to help. If Snoop Dogg says I don't ever
15:57
want to smoke weed with you again, that says.
16:00
Something You're a champion. I was watching that Wiz Khalifa
16:05
1 and they were like, how much do you smoke a day?
16:08
And he's like an ounce. And everyone gasped audibly.
16:11
They're like an ounce a day. And he's like, yeah, I mean,
16:15
that's that's pretty standard. Like if we're really getting
16:17
after like like a long day, it'll be like an ounce and a
16:19
half. They're like, what are you
16:21
talking about? Like do you personally know how
16:23
big an ounce is? No, not of weed.
16:26
It's like this big, Oh my God, and it's that thick.
16:30
I know it's. Like it's like a it's like a the
16:36
dough where the flour used to make a like a loaf of bread like
16:41
that size. That's a standard issue for Wiz
16:45
like. What are you?
16:47
Talking about like, I don't understand how that can even.
16:53
I would like to. I would like to hope that
16:58
there's an afterlife and it's as satisfying as we all think it
17:03
is. I don't really give a damn about
17:05
anything other than I want the big book.
17:08
I want to read the stats. I want to know my KD ratio.
17:12
I want to know how many, how many bowls of hookah have I
17:17
smoked? How many blunts have I had?
17:20
How many miles have I traveled? How many times have I slept
17:26
through the night without a? Completion percentage, that's
17:28
what I'm. Saying like, I want to know, I
17:30
want to know, I want the big book.
17:35
How many blocks of stone you've mined?
17:39
Yeah, I want to know, am I #1? Right out of there.
17:45
One in my book. That's right.
17:47
Gross. It's like there's a random code
17:50
line in the book and it's like most deranged thoughts
17:56
throughout the day. And it's just like #1 I'm like,
17:58
what's up? And he's like, don't worry, just
18:00
move on. Like I messed you up so bad.
18:03
I didn't mean to. Like I spilled the mix and it
18:07
just kind of like like a bar towel.
18:09
I just kind of pushed it into the bowl, like, my bad.
18:14
I thought it was the spare bowl and not your bowl, but here we
18:19
are. At the end of it, your name was
18:21
on the side. I'm like, oh, oops, I love that
18:26
Gillis bit, too. It's a meme now.
18:28
It's one of those news stories, says something, and then it's
18:32
like it becomes a worse, way worse thing.
18:36
And Shane's bit was on stage. She's like, oh fuck, it's so
18:40
much worse. I like I like the idea of seeing
18:48
the big book after the fact and just what what now?
18:53
What's this line here? And he's like, don't just don't
18:56
worry about it. It doesn't matter now.
18:59
Enjoy the facts or don't move on.
19:02
Like amount of times watched while sleeping.
19:10
It's like, huh, what'd you say? Why?
19:15
Absolutely not. See.
19:17
Absolutely not. Have the big book.
19:19
No. I mean, I feel like some things
19:24
I would like to know, but other things like that.
19:29
Yeah. Because I don't want to know how
19:31
many times you've watched me sleep.
19:34
I'm just saying like you have been watched.
19:37
Yeah, Somebody, somewhere, something, even a spider like
19:41
watch you. From the corner.
19:42
I don't want to know how many times you've watched me sleep.
19:44
Yeah, don't give me that look. I gave it like that.
19:51
Oh my gosh. Oh my God, there it goes.
19:55
Is that a yawn? What is that point dude, 1/2?
20:00
It's an elk. Was he like 16 points?
20:06
Something like that. 20 points. Jesus.
20:08
Christ I. Don't even know they look like
20:10
that. They're big.
20:14
Dude was losing his mind getting that shot.
20:18
I found a 20 point elk in a in a harem of bow in between the
20:25
trees and now he's calling. That's the coolest thing I've
20:29
ever seen. Say Bow.
20:30
Yeah. Like with AB?
20:32
Yeah. What?
20:38
What? It's Doe.
20:41
Yeah, they're not deer though. They're elk.
20:45
Oh, I was like, what is happening?
20:49
Are you? Having a shoe.
20:52
Wouldn't it be a foe? I was thinking the same.
20:55
I was like, is it just one letter up?
20:57
No, it's a fake deer, a foe. Oh no, I was talking like D doe,
21:02
deer, elk, E It's an ear. Yeah.
21:08
So I'm saying like it's just one letter off.
21:11
It's a foe. That's why I thought it was
21:12
funnier. Like doe is foe.
21:14
That's really funny. E i.e.
21:17
I/O. E i.e.
21:19
I/O These people are driving their cars into the traffic,
21:22
listening to us. Don't.
21:25
They're like, Oh my God, shut up.
21:28
Don't drive off. The bridge.
21:30
Ryan, you're gonna hate this, that it goes all the way up so
21:33
much. What?
21:36
Never mind. We should sit here until she
21:40
explains it. Yeah, go ahead.
21:42
What happened? You guys were saying that my
21:46
voice or laugh or whatever spikes up.
21:49
Yeah. So I said wake up and you're
21:52
gonna hate that. No, Have fun.
21:56
Hey, I don't know if you know this, but anything that's louder
21:59
than other stuff is higher on the audio wave, so it's a bigger
22:05
spike than the rest of the other spikes.
22:07
Now they're really driving into traffic.
22:09
It was a joke. They're like, shut up.
22:13
My jokes have stopped landing everybody.
22:16
You were on a roll. You were on fire.
22:19
Don't think they're not landing because of us.
22:20
We're men. We don't know what's.
22:21
Funny, we don't. Know what's funny?
22:24
They understood. Nobody understands.
22:29
Do you have I just saw this. Do you have a coke can that says
22:32
bro on it? I I hate coke even more now bro
22:39
I think. The other one, no, there's not
22:42
one over there. If you look in the, if you look
22:46
in the recycling that says like SIS.
22:50
Oh, no, right. What are you doing?
22:56
It has like different names. What are you doing, sis?
22:59
Coke. So gross shit.
23:03
With the guys. Gross.
23:06
Did you water the? Lawn did I?
23:08
Yeah, I I mean, I haven't gone back out there.
23:12
Killing me. I knew it wasn't going to work.
23:18
There was one thing that happened with the last guy I did
23:20
the seating for. It took me all damn day dude.
23:23
And then like 2 weeks later it's all dead.
23:24
I'm like to water and he's like, well, when I could, I'm like,
23:27
whatever you paid me, like we'll do it again.
23:32
It just sucks. I'm like, I know what it should
23:33
look like and it should be beautiful after all the work I
23:35
put in. And it's like, Nah, it's all
23:37
dead. I'm like, awesome, cool.
23:39
Glad I there was another guy in Glen Abbey irritated.
23:46
Glen Abbey, Yeah, that's all. Yeah.
23:50
Although when I played last week at Mayfair, Mayfair had parts
23:57
that Glen Abbey looked better then.
24:01
That's surprising. But Mayfair is also going
24:04
through construction. They're building a new
24:06
clubhouse. That's the only way Glen Abbey
24:09
can look better is if the other course is under.
24:12
Construction under construction. Yeah, like one of the one of the
24:15
holes we couldn't use the green on because they were literally
24:18
putting in. I don't.
24:22
I don't know if it was a French drain or it was some sort of
24:25
drainage system. It's like tile.
24:28
French. French tile.
24:30
It's travertine is I think it's called tile.
24:34
OK. Like, it's just another way for
24:36
like to people are turning us off.
24:44
Glad you guys made it to 6 1/2 episodes 6.
24:48
It's. Nice talking to you guys.
24:52
I swear we'll be better next week.
24:54
I'm just so tired, man. This week.
24:56
This week took it out of me man. What happened?
25:00
Coordinating a rescue effort for a 35 foot yacht and then being
25:07
the coordinator through the repair and the re splash and
25:12
then driving like captaining it South and then back up north
25:17
again. All in in the matter of a week
25:21
on a whim at all times. Like it just it takes it out of
25:24
you. Yeah, that would absolutely take
25:29
it. Out.
25:29
I'm exhausted. I was too much.
25:32
Not to mention we did some yard work today too.
25:35
Yeah. I'm glad we got it done though
25:37
man. Yes, that was going to be a big
25:39
problem soon here. I'll be running up to Walmart
25:44
first thing tomorrow to return that yeah piece of garbage.
25:49
I'll. Say, as long as we can get some
25:51
water on it, it'll be fine, but. Yeah, Ryan.
25:54
I'll go water. I'll say tonight's important.
25:58
It's so like raw. That sun tomorrow is going to
26:03
absolutely wreck it, man. It's just going to bake it.
26:07
There's just nothing separating the soil from the air.
26:11
It's it's just going to immediately dry out.
26:15
I'll throw a bunch of water down tonight.
26:21
Just keep hitting it. I'll do it as soon as this is
26:23
done and then right before I go to bed and then.
26:26
That's so funny. It's 11:30 at night.
26:30
You're out there with no shirt on watering dirt.
26:34
People like what? The whites are at it again.
26:38
The whites are at it again. What?
26:43
Why did we let him hear? This was a nice neighborhood.
26:51
They're like the kids used to play outside.
26:53
They're scared of them. They're scared of me.
26:58
See, that's, hey, I'm excited to do that, but like, I'm going to
27:01
go the other way. I'm going to be wearing like
27:03
night vision goggles and like a flak helmet strapped, like
27:06
strapped on. They'll be more scared of me
27:10
because I want to say hi to them.
27:12
Oh my. God, because my Midwest
27:13
tendencies to be nice to the neighbors.
27:15
I'm like, I'm like, don't talk to me.
27:17
And you're like, hey, friends. Hey, friends.
27:19
And they're like, Oh my God, he's trying to talk to us again.
27:25
Just go and squeeze you. Squeeze by you there bud.
27:27
Lucas Lucas and his family crossed the street.
27:31
They're like. We got to go to the other side.
27:34
They walked by and I said sorry for the mess.
27:38
And he goes, no, dude, it's your house.
27:41
I go, yeah, but I'm taking up the entire sidewalk right now.
27:49
It's like because I was trying to move all the garbage.
27:55
I do it all the time. As long as you don't throw it in
27:58
the road, it's fine because like especially Lucas, like you rode
28:01
by on the bike earlier, like you cannot throw no all of that into
28:05
the road. I've seen people like, I think
28:07
her cousin went down on a corner.
28:09
I just. I don't even like to mow and
28:18
then edge without blowing in between I.
28:22
Do the same. At least the street, Yeah, just
28:25
get that stuff that the mower kicked out.
28:28
Yeah, because it's going to and get that out of the street and
28:33
then go back and edge it and then do the rest of it.
28:38
I do the same. I can't leave it in the street.
28:40
It worries me every time. I'm like, if a, if a bike comes
28:42
by here, he's going down like it's, it's literally just like
28:46
it's like ice. It's worse than ice.
28:50
I fell on a motorcycle once with my dad.
28:53
Hated it. He fell on top of me as a 5 year
28:56
old, 6 year old, 6 year old. It was crazy.
29:02
I say as long as it wasn't the bike that fell on top of you.
29:05
No, dad like pretty much like shoved the bike.
29:09
I flew off and then he like almost like push jumped off kind
29:15
of situation, but he landed on me.
29:17
I don't remember him landing on me, but every time he tells a
29:19
story he's like remember that time when we wrecked the bike
29:23
and or not wrecked it? I.
29:25
Thought I killed you. Yeah, I.
29:27
Crushed you by landing on you as like a tiny little 1.
29:30
And I was like, I remember the motorcycle accident, but not
29:34
really. It was over in Winter Park, so I
29:38
was between 7:00 and 8:00 or six and eight years old and we were
29:43
going to his buddy's house and we ended up like a Loma that
29:49
area. It was a gas station.
29:53
There was somebody who leaked gas on the side of the road.
29:58
And so my dad slipped like on it and lost control of the bike.
30:02
And then we went to that Publix that is right there.
30:04
What's crazy is literally like 10-15 years later, he literally
30:09
buys a house over in that same area.
30:12
Yeah, yeah. It's a small world.
30:14
It's. A small world.
30:15
It was weird, but. Turns out we were fine.
30:18
My old ass truck was the one that leaked oil that day.
30:21
Yeah. I mean, if it was, it wasn't
30:24
you. 'Cause you were like.
30:26
Nine years old, but. That truck was on the road when
30:29
I was nine years old. You know the the motorcycle
30:32
helmet that I still have with like all the stickers and shit
30:35
on it. You know that big old like
30:38
scratch That's that's from that? Yeah.
30:41
I've only fallen off the bike once with him.
30:43
Knock on wood. Yeah, but like, it was crazy.
30:48
I'd like to get a couple buddies of mine.
30:53
They've all got, like, really nice helmets that they went down
30:56
on. And like, the whole right side
30:58
of the helmet is flat. I'm like, Oh my God.
31:01
Yeah. Like you see it, you shake a
31:03
little, you're like, oh Jesus, that's insane.
31:07
Like you said with my cousin, I think his helmet looked like
31:12
that too, but I know his bike looked way worse.
31:16
Like his bike was almost like in half gross.
31:19
Did you not see that? No, recently.
31:21
Like the pictures? No, when he did it like a long
31:24
time ago. Oh no, it was.
31:25
It was fun. Was it?
31:27
Yeah, I mean, he laid it down, don't get me wrong, but no, it
31:30
wasn't. I've seen so much worse.
31:31
Really. Oh my God.
31:33
I told you about that kid who hit the car on the corner.
31:38
So in our old neighborhood, there was a honestly our
31:42
neighborhood, and I'm not kidding, it was built like a
31:45
racetrack. So there was a long straight and
31:48
then you took a right-hander into a short straight and then
31:51
took a right-hander into a short straight.
31:53
And then right in front of our house was, I'm not kidding, 2S
31:57
turns and then it did a long sweep into the straight.
32:02
So when we were kids, dude, we'd literally take like the go karts
32:05
and the dirt bikes and run this thing like a like a racetrack
32:09
because it, it was built like a cart track.
32:13
So the older kids, they'd get their 600CC sport bikes and
32:18
they'd run that racetrack every, you know, every, occasionally.
32:21
We, everybody knew everybody. Everybody was cool.
32:25
And this kid came along that long sweeping curve into the
32:28
straight and he went wide and he slammed head first into a parked
32:33
car. Dude, he flew like 40 feet from
32:38
where he hit into the air. He, I mean full blown like
32:43
chopper backed out when he hit his shoes flipped off with such
32:49
veracity. One was on the House on the left
32:52
side of the street, like on the roof, his shoe.
32:56
And then the other one was in a like an, a yard on the other
33:00
side of the street. That's crazy.
33:01
It was insane. Nobody ever did that again.
33:04
Yeah. They never ran their bikes to
33:05
that neighborhood again. They were like, Nah.
33:08
That's the. Fear of God, everybody saw it.
33:09
Like we literally were watching them.
33:11
Like, and then you'd kind of hear him on the other side of
33:15
the neighborhood and then he'd come back and you just, you're
33:20
like, uh oh. Like you're like, that's wide.
33:23
And dude, he just slammed into this car just like cartwheeled
33:29
in the air. It was, it was insane to watch.
33:32
What's the Mario death song? The Oops, that's not right.
33:53
I don't know which one you're going for, but I've got 1.
33:59
Yeah, I'll replay it. I hope that got picked up.
34:06
So good. If not, then I'll I'm gonna have
34:10
to put that in. I thought you were talking about
34:19
this one. Oh my God, yes, you gotta play
34:27
it again. What?
34:36
No. Let it ride.
34:39
No. Let it ride.
34:48
Wait. That's Bowser.
35:02
I don't like any part of this. What is this from?
35:06
Some dude that had way too much time on his hands.
35:09
Which you don't know. I had not enough time on it.
35:11
Which you don't know. I'm going to send it to you.
35:13
It's a full music video where he cgis himself into the Mario
35:17
world and he animates. It's fantastic he.
35:20
Animates the universe like. OK, that's OK.
35:26
That's it's. Incredible how much time you put
35:28
into. We'll put the link in the
35:30
description. So you guys?
35:32
Can watch it. Too.
35:33
That's the that's. The thumbnail.
35:34
Thanks. That's the thumbnail.
35:36
He did it for fun dude. By himself just because he
35:39
could. Absolute legend.
35:41
Put it on tech talk, didn't ask for royalty.
35:43
Just now the song's out there. It was amazing.
35:47
He was like, I had no idea it was gonna blow up like that.
35:48
It's like bro, it is the catchiest song since Dear Maria
35:52
like. It's one of my favorite.
35:54
It's so good. Since dear Maria.
35:56
Yeah, the the one we listen to. No, that's a picture.
36:02
She doesn't bug me up. OK, I don't coming.
36:05
With you. I it was between that or the
36:10
natty ice. Anne Maria.
36:12
Oh, is that what? That's I think that's the name
36:14
of their band. It's Anne Maria.
36:16
But yeah, it's I thought it was. I'm addicted to the smell of
36:18
Natty ice. Oh my God, it's so good.
36:21
That's one of the best songs ever.
36:24
The kids voice too is unreal. Just so you know, Amber, we we
36:31
listen to Midwest pop punk. We stroll down memory lane.
36:35
Disgusting. I'm just kidding, I.
36:38
Just wanted to let you know just how beautiful you are.
36:43
Shout out. To modern baseball.
36:45
I remember one of the nights, no.
36:47
That's city lights, but. We were drinking and you had
36:51
showed me some and I looked at you and I was like what the fuck
36:54
is this? What is this?
36:58
Yeah, I I showed, I showed him city lights.
37:02
And then I got mad for you guys skipping AJR, Yeah.
37:08
It's good stuff though. It definitely was not over.
37:17
Now it's so, Oh my God, my, my favorite song from this band
37:22
called City Lights is called Cold and Gray.
37:26
And it starts off, it's a song to this girl.
37:32
And it starts off, I just wanted to let you know just how
37:36
beautiful you are on the outside because inside your cold and
37:40
Gray like Ohio in February. Disgusting.
37:45
So good fatality. Disgusting.
37:51
Oh, it's so good. I love it so so very much.
37:59
I just I wish I had the creativity when I was younger
38:04
because I would have rocked some people.
38:07
Sharp as a tack, but in the sense that you're not smart,
38:10
just a prick. Yeah, like, I wish I would have
38:13
had some of the wit. I think I would have gotten a
38:17
lot more fistfights because like back then, that's all it was.
38:22
It was like, I don't have a retort, so I can't really.
38:25
Like you kind of punked me. Like we can fight about it if
38:28
you want. Like it wasn't ever that
38:30
serious. Like I think I would push some
38:31
people like I would push some buttons.
38:33
He is, look at him, man. He is all up in here.
38:36
No, he grunted in my ear. That's not the first time we
38:46
said that. He's like go fuck yourself.
38:51
Oh hey, look some water on the screen.
38:53
Look at that. Wow, not trying to change the
38:57
subject at all. This is something I was looking
38:59
through my grandmother's photos and that is something that she
39:02
posted. What?
39:06
Yeah, She posted this. Oh, my gosh.
39:12
Is there any way you can send that to me so we can put that in
39:14
the show now? Thanks people.
39:18
You look at your. Side he's so happy.
39:21
Butt scratches. My grandma's the best.
39:27
They'd love you my grandma and grandpa.
39:29
He does it. He does the Yoshi thing.
39:36
Mem mem mem. Mom.
39:39
Mom, mom, mom. I'm trying to find the picture
39:52
address of Dean's bike. Your cousin, Yeah.
40:03
We saw something that we need to check out at some point.
40:07
Which one's that? Drive in dog park.
40:10
Oh yeah. What?
40:12
So it's it's been at our house the whole time.
40:15
Over here, no. A.
40:18
Dad. Yeah, a drive in dog park.
40:21
What does that mean? I don't know.
40:22
We saw it on the GPS and I didn't have my phone, so I was
40:26
like, I I've never seen that before because I don't use GPS
40:29
when I go to Dad's. Yeah, So I don't need like, So
40:32
on the map it just said drive in dog park.
40:35
Yeah, that's right off in the woods.
40:36
And I was like, what the hell is a drive in dog park?
40:39
That's sketchy. It is in the woods too.
40:45
Both of the streets that lead to it.
40:47
Oh my God, they're sheep. They're dead ends.
40:49
There's a there there, there is sheep, it looks like it a park
40:54
and there's sheep and dog like like a dog playground, no.
41:02
That's creepy. There's like, is it like a
41:05
training for border collies? It looks like it's one of the
41:09
dog show like ramp things. That could be a thing they do
41:13
the horses out there, so I could see 100%.
41:16
Look at all those pops. They have like a border collie
41:18
training facility out there. No, I had no idea.
41:21
Never seen it before, didn't know what it was.
41:23
And then there's sheep randomly. All I can think of is 10 things
41:29
I hate about you. Are there sheep?
41:31
Also, this is a picture from the same spot.
41:36
Just a campfire. It's just.
41:37
Campfire All right, so. Seems like a cool place.
41:41
There's there's your border collies.
41:44
Services, off leash dog park, agility training center, private
41:48
dog park and farm day equal therapy.
41:52
That's what it says in the farm. Day equal that's.
41:54
What it says Farm day equal therapy.
41:57
Oh, they have their own like logo and.
41:59
Everything I'm gonna need to do a cow petting zoo therapy thing.
42:09
Oh my God, it's the cutest goddamn thing in the world.
42:13
Aw, it reminds me of Goose. Yeah, this thing does look a
42:20
stupid goose. Agreed.
42:23
He starts backing up as soon as I say that.
42:27
You can reserve the dog park for all day for 100 bucks.
42:33
RV in camper parking is 50 bucks. 2 hour reservation for
42:38
$30. One hour for 20 bucks.
42:43
Sheep feeding with your dog, 60 minute reservation for 20 bucks.
42:49
Basics cool as shit. Yeah, I'm.
42:51
I wonder how long it's been there because I've driven past
42:54
it. If it's where I think it is,
42:56
I've driven past it about 1000 times.
43:01
Reserve your dog park spot on sniff spot sniffspot.com.
43:12
I hate this place. I'm intrigued.
43:15
I gotta see it. Yeah.
43:18
I pull up in the 12 Volt zero turn.
43:20
Yeah, we're here for the dog park.
43:24
Quit licking my. You meant the.
43:25
Kid One. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
43:27
They're like, where's your dog? I'm like, what dog?
43:30
This is it. Yeah, I'm here.
43:32
I'm here for the fun. It's fully fenced.
43:36
It looks like it just has a gate that you have to open and drive
43:41
in. I was wondering about that,
43:43
yeah, 'cause if it's a drive in dog park, like what's to stop
43:46
the dogs coming out when I drive in, you know?
43:57
You know, I'm very interested. I'd like to go see it.
44:02
We should take Goose. Yeah.
44:05
You can take. Them I will put him in the bed.
44:08
You can't take Goose in a cab, he literally will cause an
44:12
accident. Like the dog runs under the
44:14
pedals and like kicks the car into neutral while you're on the
44:19
highway and puts it in reverse. Like crushes the gearbox on the
44:24
highway and. Then when you go to open your
44:26
car door. He literally.
44:27
Jumps and like drags all eight of his legs on your freaking
44:32
legs. He like.
44:34
I didn't realize he had eight legs.
44:36
It feels real. Like it because he loses his
44:39
mind. And then when you're like, hey
44:41
man, I'm going to pick you up now and get you off of me
44:44
because you're you're digging your nails into my skin.
44:47
When you pick him up he goes full exorcist.
44:50
Like you grab his shoulders like underneath his arms to pick him
44:55
up like a baby and he just goes like he flips out.
44:59
Dude, I've never seen a worse dog in a car ever.
45:03
I've never ever once seen a worse dog.
45:05
Well. It would.
45:08
Be very hard for him to do that when he's in a cage in my car.
45:13
Oh yeah, I'm putting him in the the kennel in the bed.
45:15
I agree. Don't scare yourself like that
45:22
you dumbass. Yeah, when I take him, I saw
45:24
him, he literally sniffed the DVD and it's like, no, I needed
45:30
like when we take him to the vet, I literally have to put him
45:32
in the kennel in the back because if I don't he'll cause
45:34
like he'll kill us all like. After me.
45:38
That's what he's been trying to do this entire time.
45:40
Just kill us all, Yeah, he blows the he's an.
45:43
Evil genius he. Blows the the pilot light out
45:46
all the time he walks up I smell gas.
45:55
So good. A dog honestly he is kind of
45:58
like super smart at times but 90% of the time he is literally
46:06
a picture of a butterfly for a brain it's so bad.
46:10
He is just a picture of a butterfly.
46:13
Yeah. You say he has like a butterfly
46:15
in mind but he got you believing that he was fucking deaf for
46:19
like 3 months. I still think he's partially
46:21
deaf, like I think he's losing his hearing all the time.
46:28
He just, he just doesn't respond.
46:31
It's so funny. He definitely hears you and just
46:34
like Nah. I'm telling you, like even when
46:37
I'm like food or I like put the thing in the bowl, he just, he
46:41
doesn't react until I show him it's in my hand.
46:44
He's like, oh, what's up? Like he just there's nothing.
46:47
I get nothing. Selective hearing I.
46:50
Don't know, I he didn't used to do that.
46:52
Now he's just he's getting up there.
46:54
That and the lymphoma, it's like I'm assuming it's affecting his
46:57
hearing. No, Yeah, you.
47:03
He's such a good dog. He is.
47:08
He's really difficult. That's another like, I've never
47:11
seen a dog act like him in so many different like scenarios,
47:16
like in a car, at home, outside, in the bedroom.
47:21
Like I've never ever met a dog act like him.
47:23
He definitely has social anxiety or separation anxiety.
47:28
Yes. To the point where like you.
47:30
What's wrong with that bird? You cannot leave him alone and
47:34
like the second you walk into another room like he he's OK
47:40
with the other dogs, but if he knows that you are home with
47:42
him, he has to follow you into that other room no matter what.
47:48
Oh yeah, he hates me. I go into my office, close that
47:52
door. The.
47:53
Whole time, yeah. Yeah, I know.
47:58
I know you. I'm aware.
48:00
I, I used to take like I used to take showers and he was so
48:06
freaked out. I just have him lay on the floor
48:09
'cause he, I mean, he literally, literally not a joke.
48:11
He would tear carpet out of rooms like he.
48:13
Would eat the baseboards in our room.
48:18
That dog was when we first got him.
48:20
That dog was an absolute monster man.
48:22
The menace, I feel terrible about it, like what we had to do
48:26
like in the old house just to keep him like chill, like with
48:30
the leash on the. I get it, but I mean it's not
48:33
even that like we. Weren't morbid everybody it?
48:36
Was no. We literally had to have him in
48:37
his harness, like attached to something so he wouldn't go
48:41
around the house and eat like inanimate objects.
48:44
Like he would eat like pencils and like he would eat a spatula.
48:49
Also posted this. 'Cause he was starved when we
48:54
got him, like he was malnourished so everything was
48:57
food. So he would walk around and just
49:00
eat pieces of wood and it was causing issues.
49:04
Like he would literally eat like plastic.
49:06
I was like, hey man, that's not edible.
49:08
And he doesn't know. He just knows I'm very hungry
49:11
because the people before you didn't feed me for months.
49:14
So I have to eat like everything.
49:16
So if he would get a hold of it, he'd just eat it.
49:18
It's like, OK, we're going to put you on the collar or on the
49:21
lead now, like your chest harness.
49:23
And we're going to, we're going to hang out together and
49:25
everything's fine. But it's just absolute insane
49:29
dog like. I also find it incredible that
49:33
he has so much horsepower or torque that he does a Willy.
49:40
Torque. He does a Willy, yeah.
49:42
Every time he gets going, he just back end goes down.
49:48
Can't control it just. The back end goes further
49:51
forward than his front end does. It's so weird.
49:54
It's. The funniest thing?
49:56
He's not a whippet, but he acts he.
49:58
Runs like a whippet. He acts like a whippet, yeah.
50:02
I don't know what he is, man. He's a pit mixed with something.
50:05
It could be. Like a.
50:06
Pit mixed with whippet. No, I saw.
50:11
Pincher. I saw somebody who has a dog
50:14
that's almost identical to Goose, but they're a little bit
50:17
bigger, so. He's AI can't.
50:20
Remember what the the name is. I think if you like Google
50:23
search him like with the photo might be able to come up with
50:27
something. AI is like, I don't know.
50:30
That's not real. Yeah, Is this Dobby?
50:34
He does look like a bat with his ears perched up.
50:40
It takes you to roll 34 and opens up a Dobby tab.
50:43
You're like stop stop stop grok. No, no grok.
50:48
Oh, oh, what's this website? Oh no, it has 3X's.
50:55
Chat deep GP Oh my God. Say that again.
50:58
Chat DPT It's like your most frequently visited site.
51:04
That's what you wanted me to search on, right?
51:07
This picture of your dog. I just, no, I don't even.
51:15
Want we've gone off the rails. I feel like, I feel like I saw
51:20
the waterfall and, and swim like faster towards it, yeah.
51:25
Hated it. I.
51:25
Was like, let's go. I think that would be one of the
51:29
scariest things. Go ahead over the edge of the
51:34
waterfall, No. That's not scary.
51:36
You're already going at that point.
51:39
Have fun. Like enjoy it.
51:41
Like you're never going to go over a waterfall again,
51:44
probably. So at that point you're like,
51:47
all right, like we're already half over, let's run this like
51:51
I'm going to do a swan dive and see what happens when right
51:54
before you're going over and the motor isn't keeping up with the
51:57
current and you're like, Oh my God, we're still going
52:00
backwards. Like the motor is fully revved
52:04
out and you're still slowly creeping towards the waterfalls.
52:07
Like, oh God, like I think that would be one of the scariest
52:13
feelings like, because you're like, all right, we got it.
52:15
Like we, we were able to turn the boat around and like hit the
52:18
hit the gas and then for a second you're like, are we going
52:21
backwards still? Like, Oh my God, Like I think
52:27
that'd be the funnest, most terrifying thing for just a
52:31
second. Like, and then you're like,
52:33
well, we're not getting out of it.
52:34
Let's run it. Like I'd, I'd turn the boat
52:36
around and like keep speed towards it.
52:38
Like we're going to jump it, guys.
52:41
It's like the skydiver. Right.
52:53
My buddy asked a skydiver instructor how he got over the
52:58
fear of jumping out of airplanes.
53:00
He goes well I either land or I don't ever skydive dive again.
53:05
So it's it's one or the other. There's not really much to worry
53:09
about. It's like, I get it.
53:13
God. Oh my God.
53:15
That's just it's either I land and I do it again.
53:19
Oh my God. Just.
53:21
I never have to worry about that.
53:23
It's sunk in for a second. I, I want to do all that stuff
53:27
like I don't fear the void. I kind of want to like push in
53:31
to the void and see like what pushes back like when people are
53:35
like. This is what pushes back.
53:38
When people are like, I want to, I want to walk around in the
53:42
woods at night, like in the dark.
53:47
But oh, you mean camping? Like, no, I mean like just in
53:50
the woods. Just yeah, like the glare.
53:52
Witch like the glare witch stuff like they're like, but that
53:55
would be so scary. And it's like I can't think of a
53:58
more calming place. Like I don't have my phone.
54:02
Nobody can contact me or ask me to like help them with their
54:07
problem for like a good 30 minutes.
54:10
That would be the most calming. And it's quiet and it's dark so
54:14
I can't see and I can't really think about like anything.
54:17
But like, I'm in the woods in the in the dark, like.
54:20
Or have your phone but be so far out in the middle of nowhere
54:24
that. Doesn't work, no, because
54:26
freaking Google would still ping me about dump some dumbass
54:29
update and I'd be like hey man you're ruining my serenity.
54:32
Like no I I hear it all the time.
54:37
They're like, don't be afraid of the woods, like you're the
54:41
scariest thing in the woods. And I'm like, you're, you are
54:43
correct, like I would be, I'd be so afraid to find me in the
54:48
woods like. You said that about the ocean
54:51
the other day. No, no, no, I'm definitely not
55:00
the scariest thing in the ocean. No, no, I mean like when.
55:05
We were looking out into the ocean like you are talking about
55:10
something like that. I'm not saying like you're not
55:14
afraid. You're the scariest thing.
55:15
No, I'm definitely no. No, just that you're not afraid
55:19
of the ocean. I am not.
55:20
I'm gonna clip that No. And that's just gonna be.
55:25
That's gonna be his. Button No, no, no.
55:30
I I like going out. I promise he doesn't talk to me
55:34
like this all the time. Just when anybody's around us.
55:39
I'm kidding. Makes it.
55:40
So much worse. I'm kidding.
55:43
Makes it just with everyone's when anyone's around us and when
55:49
nobody's around. And when nobody's around and
55:51
when he's alone, he still talks to me like that.
55:54
I'll get text messages. Just dot dot dot no thanks.
56:03
Hated it. I like going out, like it
56:08
doesn't even have to be out far from the shore.
56:10
Like I can still see the shore but there's a drop off like a
56:13
Shoal in Where the Hell Were we Pensacola or something like
56:19
that. Where were we?
56:21
No, it was Sterling and I think it was like Pensacola or
56:26
something, but there's a drop off where it goes to like 300
56:29
feet deep in the ocean. It's just black.
56:33
It's just an abyss. And it's also very cold, so like
56:37
you're on the back of a yacht and you jump off.
56:41
You might as well be in space. Like it's a nothing list like
56:45
you've never felt. And everybody is freaking out.
56:49
And I'm like, I, I love this. Like this is so, so calming and
56:54
peaceful. Like it's so nice to just let go
56:58
for a second. Like y'all are also revved up on
57:01
what could be. If you just relax you could be
57:04
in the moment like. You're you're full on like
57:07
meditation underwater, like, Oh yeah, legs.
57:10
Crossed. Yeah.
57:11
Hell yeah. Goose Fraba.
57:14
Absolutely not. Straight up 295 feet down, like
57:19
just yeah, no, it's awesome, beautiful.
57:25
I remember that. Like to this day, still one of
57:28
my favorite, like memories of just being off the back of a
57:31
boat. Like it's got like blue lights.
57:34
The blue lights show nothing. It's just an abyss.
57:36
There's nothing below you. It's it's insane feeling.
57:40
I really, really want to go visit this hotel that's
57:46
underwater, like you stay underwater.
57:51
Right. And like full on like sea out
57:55
sea, fish swimming by, I don't know, I just that or there is, I
58:02
don't know where it's at, but it's like like tents basically,
58:08
or like cabins that are in the side of a mountain.
58:13
You have to rock climb to get to these.
58:17
No. Cabins.
58:18
No, no. That's dumb.
58:22
Ryan, that's. Dumb that sounds.
58:24
Underwater's tight. The idea of like, like that
58:28
sounds like a vacation. The idea of like you have to
58:31
rock climb to your bed. That's stupid, Ryan.
58:33
It's very dumb. I hate that.
58:35
I hate that idea. It's so dumb.
58:38
I think rock climbing's the dumbest.
58:40
Like, I get it. I understand the the appeal of
58:44
it. I understand I get it.
58:47
But it's it's just to me personally, it's just dumb.
58:51
I think free climbing is dumb. I think how much people talk
58:59
about it is dumb. Yeah yeah, free Climb this
59:03
freaking half trail this weekend 0.
59:06
What is? This and that.
59:08
There's something that my grandma posted.
59:11
Is it another sausage? Sausage.
59:19
Stop it. Bad.
59:23
Stop showing me this. What?
59:25
I have no idea. I would love to hike this.
59:30
And like an elephant. It says and his elephant lol.
59:35
OK, Yeah. Look out over a waterfall and a
59:39
remote mountain area right be awesome.
59:46
I, I love the idea of not having my phone.
59:48
That'd be sweet if I could just, if I could just tell everybody
59:52
for a minute, like I don't have my phone.
59:54
You will not reach me. I will not respond.
59:57
Like, and that's like, it's not like family and friends.
59:59
It's like the business to like constant never ending text and
1:00:04
calls from random strangers asking me for things like I I'd
1:00:09
have a week where I didn't have to do that like.
1:00:13
I've, I've started when I answer phone calls and it's people
1:00:18
trying to get money out of me, whatever it is, Yeah, if I
1:00:23
didn't call them initially, you know?
1:00:26
You know, like your. Child support, I will answer it
1:00:28
and then they're like, yeah, my child support that I don't have.
1:00:32
That's why you're paying child support, right?
1:00:34
Because. You don't have it.
1:00:35
I don't pay child support actually.
1:00:38
Oh, you're going to go to jail? That's fine, I've just been
1:00:43
answering it and when they start their spiel I just put the phone
1:00:46
down and just walk away. We did that today, yeah.
1:00:49
Yeah, I walked in and I was like.
1:00:52
He's out there talking to himself.
1:00:53
Yeah, talking. I wonder if he's going to be on
1:00:56
the phone still when I go back. When I'm when I'm on the mower,
1:00:58
it's a giant pain in the ass to like undo what I'm doing because
1:01:04
it's a piece of machinery. Like I have to undo safeties and
1:01:07
like get off and, and I can either leave it running, which
1:01:10
is not you're not supposed to do, or I can turn it off and
1:01:12
then I got to restart it and then I got to go through putting
1:01:14
like everything back into place. So if I answer the phone, it
1:01:18
better be important because like, it's genuinely causing me
1:01:21
like time wasting. Like you're killing me right
1:01:23
now. So I answer the phone and I
1:01:26
immediately know it's one of the fucking scammers or like the let
1:01:30
me fund your business with our $50,000 grant program.
1:01:34
Dah dah dah dah. I literally will put it on mute,
1:01:36
put it back in my pocket and turn the mower back on.
1:01:40
I'm like, I hope they because they don't hear it, click.
1:01:43
It also didn't end the call. They're like are you still
1:01:45
there? Are you still there?
1:01:48
Just hello, are you still there? Just put it in your pocket
1:01:51
without muting it and just go about your business.
1:01:54
On the mower's going, it's not a.
1:01:57
Bad idea. I've had one where my buddy had
1:02:03
train horns on his truck so I would answer the phone and then
1:02:07
I'd put it in the train horn and I I forever alter the microphone
1:02:15
on my my phone. It sounds like you're in a lot
1:02:22
of fabric. Oh yeah I know.
1:02:24
My mics just busted. You're in what?
1:02:30
What? You're in a lot of fabric.
1:02:32
What? 'Cause you're 'cause you're
1:02:34
muffled, Jesus. And it's different to being.
1:02:39
Underwater. I got it.
1:02:44
I was so confused. Sounds like you're in a lot of
1:02:47
fabric. I thought there was a pun
1:02:50
coming. I think that's why I was more
1:02:52
confused. I was like, I don't get the
1:02:54
joke. I don't know where you're going
1:02:55
with this. Yeah, I I get it, but.
1:03:00
She said it earlier. We were talking about yesterday.
1:03:06
She was like, yeah, I'm just checking in on you because last
1:03:08
night was a lot like camping. And I'm like, are you saying it
1:03:12
like it's intense? And she's like, yeah, it's so.
1:03:15
Dumb. God, it's so good.
1:03:17
It's such a good joke. I I used to say that sounds
1:03:23
intense, like camping and funerals.
1:03:26
And funerals. Oh my God.
1:03:31
Because then people are like, wait, what?
1:03:33
And then they think of the actual, like, burial process.
1:03:37
Yeah, typically there's a tent up.
1:03:38
Yeah. And they're like.
1:03:40
Oh, I clocked it. It's sad.
1:03:42
I was right there with you. Thanks Jesus hated it I.
1:03:46
Hated it. I'm excited for our vacation.
1:03:53
Same. Me too.
1:03:56
It's our first vacation in how many years?
1:03:58
57 like 7. Years The Bachelorette party
1:04:05
count as a vacation, now that I think about it.
1:04:09
Absolutely not. Birthday.
1:04:11
Like right after The Bachelorette party.
1:04:14
No. It's not no.
1:04:17
OK, then yeah, it was Kinky Boots, and I think that was.
1:04:23
2018 I think. It was 2017.
1:04:26
Seven or eight years since a a vacation.
1:04:29
Before I even met you guys. Yeah.
1:04:34
It was 2017. Oh.
1:04:37
My words so before I even met you.
1:04:39
Have you noticed the schedule like decline of my mental health
1:04:44
over seven years? I think you have been this way
1:04:48
the entire time. I've been, I've been holding it
1:04:52
together. The cracks are appearing
1:04:55
heavily. Since you know us, knew us, met
1:04:59
us. What were you gonna say?
1:05:02
Huh. Huh.
1:05:03
You said something. What?
1:05:07
You were gonna say something? You were.
1:05:11
And then he was like, have you noticed?
1:05:13
It's you. Listen back.
1:05:15
It's, you know, it's crazy. This is like recorded.
1:05:17
We can finally show her. Nobody said anything, nobody
1:05:21
said a word. You just started talking about
1:05:22
what we thought we were going to say, like it was in your head.
1:05:26
It was all in your head. Thanks, he did it.
1:05:31
This podcast was never going to be released.
1:05:34
I just wanted to catch you in the act of gaslighting.
1:05:39
It took us 6 episodes. This is Patreon exclusive.
1:05:45
Why you looking at me all sultry like?
1:05:47
It is not sultry shut. Up, yeah.
1:05:53
OK, so it sounds like we got to end this podcast so.
1:05:55
Knowing exactly people are mad at me.
1:05:57
Oh. My God, he does.
1:05:59
It's kind of weird. I'm into clowns and anger.
1:06:04
It explains my. Going to, wasn't gonna say.
1:06:10
It I was gonna say it for you. Wasn't gonna say.
1:06:15
It I'm into clowns and anger, that's my love language.
1:06:23
Some people like physical touch or gifts.
1:06:27
I'm into honka honkers and and throwing shit and throwing
1:06:32
stuff. Oh my God.
1:06:39
What did that one guy say? I've never been to a circus
1:06:42
because I'm afraid I'll fall in love.
1:06:43
When he was talking about oh. Poor.
1:06:46
Baby, like the mommy milkers, what did he call them?
1:06:49
And you're like, I'm going to use that.
1:06:51
Are you talking about chest clappers?
1:06:53
Chest clappers. Yep, that's it.
1:06:57
Where are you going with this? I don't remember.
1:07:00
Oh my God, no, you said Honka. Honka was like, he's like,
1:07:06
that's the funniest thing ever and I don't know, I'm tired.
1:07:11
The ever tired Amber, the exhausted Justin and the ever
1:07:16
wizard Ryan. Why am IA wizard?
1:07:20
Whatever you said at the beginning.
1:07:24
I have no idea. We'll run that back.
1:07:27
Thanks. Hated it.
1:07:28
Bye.