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A Call · Classic Humorous Short Stories from America

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Speaker 1: Story sixteen of the Best American Humorous short Stories by
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Speaker 1: Alexander Jessup, editor. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain.
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Speaker 1: Story sixteen A Call nineteen o six by Grace mc
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Speaker 1: gowan Cook from Harper's Magazine, August nineteen o six, copyright
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Speaker 1: nineteen o six by Harper and Brothers. Republished by the
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Speaker 1: author's permission. A boy in an unnaturally clean country, laundered collar,
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Speaker 1: walked down a long white road. He scuffed the dust
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Speaker 1: up wantonly for he wished to veil the all too
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Speaker 1: brilliant polish of his cowhide shoes. Also, the memory of
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Speaker 1: the whiteness and slipperiness of his caller oppressed him. He
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Speaker 1: was fain to look like one accustomed to social diversions.
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Speaker 1: A man hurried from hall to hall of pleasure, without
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Speaker 1: time between to change caller or polished boot. He stooped
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Speaker 1: and rubbed a crumb of earth on his overfresh neck linen.
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Speaker 1: This did not long sustain his drooping spirit. He was
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Speaker 1: mentally adrift upon the hints and helps to young men
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Speaker 1: in business and social relations which had suggested to him
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Speaker 1: his present enterprise. When the appearance of a second youth,
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Speaker 1: taller and broader than himself, with a shock of light
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Speaker 1: curling hair and a crop of freckles that advertised a
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Speaker 1: rich soil through him, a life line. He put his
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Speaker 1: thumbs to his lips and whistled in a peculiarly ear
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Speaker 1: splitting way. The two boys had sat on the same
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Speaker 1: bench at Sunday School not three hours before. Yet what
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Speaker 1: a change had come over the world for one of them?
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Speaker 1: Since then? Hello, where you goin? Eb asked the newcomer. Gruffly,
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Speaker 1: Colin replied the boy in the collar, laconically, but with
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Speaker 1: carefully averted game on the girls inquired the other awestruck
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Speaker 1: in Mount Piska, you saw the girls home from knight
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Speaker 1: church socials or parties, you could hang over the gate,
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Speaker 1: and you might walk with the girl in the cemetery
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Speaker 1: of a Sunday afternoon. But to ring a front door
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Speaker 1: bell and ask for miss Hart's desire, one must have
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Speaker 1: been in long trousers at least three years, and the
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Speaker 1: two boys confronted in the dusty road had worn these
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Speaker 1: dignifying garments barely six months. Girls, said Abner loftily. I
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Speaker 1: don't know about girls. I'm just going to call on
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Speaker 1: one girl Champy Clayborne. He marched on as though the
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Speaker 1: conversation was at an end, but Ross hung upon his flank.
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Speaker 1: Ross and Champy were neighbors, comrades in all sorts of mischief.
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Speaker 1: He was in doubt whether to halt Abner and pummel him,
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Speaker 1: or propose to enlist under his banner. Do you reckon
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Speaker 1: you could, he debated, trotting along by the irresponsive jiltin' boy.
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Speaker 1: Run home to your mother, growled the originator of the plan, savagely.
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Speaker 1: You ain't old enough to call on girls. Anybody can
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Speaker 1: see that. But I am, and I'm going to call
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Speaker 1: on Champy Clayborne again. The name acted as a spur
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Speaker 1: on Ross. With your collar and boots all dirty, he jeered,
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Speaker 1: they won't know your callin. The boy in the road
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Speaker 1: stopped short in his dusty tracks. He was an intense creature,
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Speaker 1: and he whitened at the tragic insinuation, longing for the
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Speaker 1: wholesome stay and companionship of freckle faced Ross. I put
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Speaker 1: the dirt on a purpose so's to look kinda careless,
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Speaker 1: he half whispered, in an agony of doubt. Suppose I'd
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Speaker 1: better go into your house and try to wash it off.
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Speaker 1: Reckon your mother would let me. I've got two clean collars,
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Speaker 1: announced to the other boy, proudly generous. I'll lend you one.
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Speaker 1: You can put it on while I'm getting ready. I'll
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Speaker 1: tell mother that we're just stepping out to do a
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Speaker 1: little calling on the girls. Here was an ally worthy
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Speaker 1: of the cause. Abner welcomed him in spite of certain
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Speaker 1: jealous twinges. He reflected with satisfaction that there were two
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Speaker 1: Clavern girls, and though Alicia was so stiff and prim
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Speaker 1: that no boy would ever think of calling on her,
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Speaker 1: there was still the hope that she might draw Ross's
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Speaker 1: fire and leave him. Abner to make the numerous remarks
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Speaker 1: he had stored up in his mind from hints and
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Speaker 1: helps to young men in social and business relations too.
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Speaker 1: Champi alone, missus Pryor received them with the easy going
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Speaker 1: kindness of the mother of one son. She followed them
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Speaker 1: into the dining room to kiss and feed him with
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Speaker 1: an absent how to Abner, how's your mother? Abner Big,
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Speaker 1: with the importance of their mutual intention, inclined his head
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Speaker 1: stiffly and looked toward Ross for explanation. He trembled a little,
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Speaker 1: but it was with delight as he anticipated the effect
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Speaker 1: of the speech Ross had outlined, but it did not come.
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Speaker 1: I'm not hungry, mother, was the revised edition which the
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Speaker 1: freckle faced boy offered to the maternal ear. I uh,
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Speaker 1: we are going over to mister Claybourne's honor, an errand
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Speaker 1: for Abner's father. The black eyed boy looked reproach as
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Speaker 1: they clattered up the stairs to Ross's room, where the
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Speaker 1: clean collar was produced and a small stalk of ties.
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Speaker 1: You'd wear a necktie, wouldn't you, Ross asked, spreading them
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Speaker 1: upon the bureau top. Yes, but make it fall carelessly
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Speaker 1: over your shirt front, advised the student of hints and helps.
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Speaker 1: Your collar is miles too big for me. Say I've
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Speaker 1: got a wad of white chewing gum. Would you flat
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Speaker 1: it out and stick it over the collar button? Maybe
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Speaker 1: that would fill up some You kick my foot if
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Speaker 1: you see me turn in my head so as to
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Speaker 1: knock it off. Better button up your vest, cautioned Ross,
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Speaker 1: laboring with the careless fall of his tie. Uh Ah,
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Speaker 1: I want that easy air which presupposes familiarity with society.
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Speaker 1: That's what it says in my book, objected Abner sure,
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Speaker 1: Ross returned to his more familiar jeering attitude. Loosen up
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Speaker 1: all your clothes, then, why don't you untie your shoes?
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Speaker 1: Flop a sock down over one of em. That looks easy,
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Speaker 1: all right, Abner buttoned his vest. It gives a man
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Speaker 1: lots of confidence to know he's good looking, he remarked,
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Speaker 1: taking all the room in front of the mirror. Ross
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Speaker 1: at the washstand, soaking his hair to get the curl
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Speaker 1: out of it, grumbled some unint intelligible response. The two
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Speaker 1: boys went down the stairs with tremulous hearts. Why you've
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Speaker 1: put on another clean shirt? Rossy, missus Pryor called from
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Speaker 1: her chair. Mother's eyes can see so far. Well, don't
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Speaker 1: get into any dirty play and soil it. The boys
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Speaker 1: walked in silence, but it was a pregnant silence, for
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Speaker 1: as the roof of the Claybourne House began to peer
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Speaker 1: above the crest of the hill, Ross plumped down on
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Speaker 1: a stone and announced, I ain't goin. Come on, urged
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Speaker 1: the black eyed boy. It'll be fun and everybody will
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Speaker 1: respect us more. Champy won't throw rocks at us in
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Speaker 1: recess time after we've called on her. She couldn't called grunted, Ross,
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Speaker 1: I couldn't make a call any more than a cow.
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Speaker 1: What'd I say? What did I do? I can behave
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Speaker 1: all right when you just go to people's houses, but
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Speaker 1: a call? Abner hesitated. Should he give away his brilliant
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Speaker 1: inside information drawn from the Hints and Helps book and
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Speaker 1: be rivaled in the glory of his manners and bearing?
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Speaker 1: Why should he not pass on alone, perfectly composed, and
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Speaker 1: reap the field of glory? Unsupported, his knees gave way,
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Speaker 1: and he sat down without intending it. Don't you tell anybody,
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Speaker 1: and I'll put you on to exactly what grown up
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Speaker 1: gentlemen say and do when they go calling on the girls.
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Speaker 1: He began fire away, retorted Ross gloomily, nobody will find
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Speaker 1: out from me. Dead men tell no tales. If I'm
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Speaker 1: fool enough to go, I don't expect to come out
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Speaker 1: of it alive. Abner rose white and shaking, and thrusting
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Speaker 1: three fingers into the buttoning of his vest, extended the
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Speaker 1: other hand like an orator, proceeding to instruct the freckled
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Speaker 1: person firing disciple at his feet, hang your hat on
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Speaker 1: the rack, or give it to a servant. Ross nodded intelligently.
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Speaker 1: He could do that. Let your legs be gracefully disposed,
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Speaker 1: one hand on the knee, the other. Abner came to
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Speaker 1: an unhappy pause. I forget what a fellow does with
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Speaker 1: the other hand. Might stick it in your pocket loudly,
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Speaker 1: or expectorate on the carpet. Indulge in little frivolity. Let
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Speaker 1: a rich stream of conversation flow. Ross mentally dug within
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Speaker 1: himself for sources of rich streams of conversation. He found
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Speaker 1: a dry soil. What you going to talk about, he demanded, fretfully.
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Speaker 1: I don't go a step farther till I know what
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Speaker 1: I'm going to say when I get there. Abner began
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Speaker 1: to repeat paragraphs from Hints and Helps. It is best
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Speaker 1: to remark, he opened, in an unnatural voice, how well
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Speaker 1: while you are looking. Although fulsome compliments should be avoided
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Speaker 1: when seated. Ask the young lady who her favorite composer is.
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Speaker 1: What a composer, inquired Ross, with visions of soothing syrup
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Speaker 1: in his mind. A man that makes up music don't,
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Speaker 1: but in that way you put me all out. Composer
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Speaker 1: is name yours? Ask her what piece of music she
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Speaker 1: likes best? Name yours. If the lady is musical, here
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Speaker 1: ask her to play or sing. This chanted recitation seemed
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Speaker 1: to have a hypnotic effect on the freckled boy. His
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Speaker 1: big pupils contracted each time Abner came to the repeated
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Speaker 1: name yours. I'm tired already, he grumbled, but some spell
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Speaker 1: made him rise and fare farther. When they had entered
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Speaker 1: the Clayborne gate, they leaned toward each other like young saplings,
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Speaker 1: weakened at the root, and locking branches to keep what
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Speaker 1: shallow foothold on earth remained. You're goin in, first, asserted Ross,
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Speaker 1: but without conviction. It was his custom to tear up
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Speaker 1: to this house a dozen times a week on his
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Speaker 1: father's old horse, or afoot. He was wont to yell
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Speaker 1: for Champy as he approached, and quarreled joyously with her
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Speaker 1: while he performed such errand as he had come upon.
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Speaker 1: But he was gagged and hamstrung now by the hypnotism
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Speaker 1: of Abner's scheme. Walk quietly up the steps, ring the bell,
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Speaker 1: and lay your cord on the servant, quoted Abner, who
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Speaker 1: had never heard of a server. Lay your card on
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Speaker 1: the servant, echoed Ross. Katy a dodge. There's a porch
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Speaker 1: to cross after you go up the steps. Doesn't say
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Speaker 1: anything about that. It says that the card should be
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Speaker 1: placed on the servant. Abner reiterated doggedly. If Katy dodges,
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Speaker 1: it ain't any business o mine. There are no porches
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Speaker 1: in my book. Just walk across it like anybody. We'll
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Speaker 1: ask for miss Champy Clayborne. We haven't got any cards,
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Speaker 1: discovered Ross with hope, I have announced Abner pompously. I
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Speaker 1: had some struck off in Chicago. I ordered him by mail.
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Speaker 1: They got my name pillow, but there's a scalloped gilt
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Speaker 1: border round it. You can write your name on my card.
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Speaker 1: Got a pencil He produced the bit of cardboard. Ross
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Speaker 1: fished up a chute stump of lead pencil, took it
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Speaker 1: in cold, stiff fingers, and disfigured the square with eccentric scribblings.
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Speaker 1: They'll know who it's meant for, he said, apologetically, because
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Speaker 1: I'm here. What's likely to happen after we get rid
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Speaker 1: of the card? I told you about hanging your hat
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Speaker 1: on the rack and disposing your legs, I remember, now,
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Speaker 1: sighed Ross. They had been going slower and slower the
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Speaker 1: angle of inclination toward each other became more and more pronounced.
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Speaker 1: We must stand by each other, whispered Abner. I will
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Speaker 1: if I can stand at all, murmured the other boy huskily.
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Speaker 1: Oh Lord. They had rounded the big clump of evergreens
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Speaker 1: and found Aunt Missouri Clayborne placidly rocking on the front porch,
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Speaker 1: directed to mount steps and ring bell to lay cards
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Speaker 1: upon the servant. How should one deal with a rosy faced,
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Speaker 1: plump lady of uncertain years in a rocking chair? What
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Speaker 1: should a collar lay upon her? A lion in the
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Speaker 1: way could not have been more terrifying. Even retreat was
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Speaker 1: cut off. Aunt Missouri had seen them, howdie, boys, how
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Speaker 1: are you? She said, rocking peacefully. The two stood before
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Speaker 1: her like detected criminals. Then, to Ross's dismay, Abner sank
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Speaker 1: down on the lowest step of the porch, the westering
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Speaker 1: sun full in his hopeless eyes, he sat on his cap.
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Speaker 1: It was characteristic that the freckled boy remained standing. He
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Speaker 1: would walk up those steps according to plan, an agreement
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Speaker 1: if at all he accepted no compromise. Folding his straw
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Speaker 1: hat into a battered cone, he watched anxiously for the
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Speaker 1: delivery of the card. He was not sure what Aunt
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Speaker 1: Missouri's attitude might be if it were laid on her.
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Speaker 1: He bent down to his companion. Go ahead, he whispered,
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Speaker 1: lay the card. Abner raised appealing eyes. In a minute,
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Speaker 1: gimme a time, he pleaded, Mars Ross, Mars Ross. Head
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Speaker 1: him off, sounded a yell, and Babe, the houseboy came
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Speaker 1: round the quarch in pursuit of two half grown chickens.
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Speaker 1: Help him, Rossy prompted Aunt Missouri, Sharply, you boys can
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Speaker 1: stay to supper and have some of the chicken if
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Speaker 1: you help catch 'em. Had Ross taken time to think,
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Speaker 1: he might have reflected that gentlemen making formal calls seldom
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Speaker 1: join in a chase after the main dish of the
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Speaker 1: family supper. But the needs of Babe were instant. The
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Speaker 1: lad flung himself sideways, caught one chicken in his hat,
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Speaker 1: while Babe fell upon the other. In the manner of
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Speaker 1: a football player. Ross handed the pullet to the houseboy,
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Speaker 1: fearing that he had done something very much out of character,
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Speaker 1: then pulled the reluctant negro toward the steps Babe's a servant.
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Speaker 1: He whispered to Abner, who had sat rigid through the
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Speaker 1: entire performance. I helped him with the chickens, and he's
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Speaker 1: got to stand, gentle while you lay the card on.
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Speaker 1: Confronted by the act itself, Abner was suddenly aware that
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Speaker 1: he knew not how to begin. He took refuge in dissimulation. Hush,
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Speaker 1: he whispered back. Don't you see mister Clayburn's come out.
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Speaker 1: He's goin to read something to us. Ross plumped down
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Speaker 1: beside him. Never mind the card, tell him, he urged,
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Speaker 1: Tell him yourself. No, let's cut and run. I I
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Speaker 1: think the worst of it's over. When Champy sees us,
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Speaker 1: she'll mention of Champy stiffened Ross's spine. If it had
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Speaker 1: been glorious to call upon her, how very terrible she
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Speaker 1: would make it. Should they attempt calling fail, and the
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Speaker 1: failure come to her knowledge, some things were easier to
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Speaker 1: endure than others. He resolved to stay till the call
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Speaker 1: was made. For half an hour, the boy sat with
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Speaker 1: drooping heads, and the old gentleman read aloud, presumably to
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Speaker 1: Aunt Missouri and themselves. Finally, their restless eyes discerned the
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Speaker 1: two claverns girls walking serene in sunday trim under the
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Speaker 1: trees at the edge of the lawn. Arms entwined, they
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Speaker 1: were whispering together and giggling a little a collar. Ross
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Speaker 1: dared not use his voice to shout, nor his legs
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Speaker 1: to run toward them. Why don't you go and talk
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Speaker 1: to the girls, Rossy, Aunt Missouri asked, in the kindness
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Speaker 1: of her heart. Don't be noisy. It's Sunday, you know,
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Speaker 1: and don't get to play in anything that'll dirty up
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Speaker 1: your good clothes. Ross pressed his lips hard together, his
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Speaker 1: heart swelled with the rage of the misunderstood. Had the
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Speaker 1: card been in his possession, he would at that instant
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Speaker 1: have laid it on Aunt Missouri without a qualm. What
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Speaker 1: is it, demanded the old gentleman a bit testily. The
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Speaker 1: girls want to hear you read, father, said Aunt Missouri shrewdly,
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Speaker 1: and she got up and trotted on short fat ankles
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Speaker 1: to the girls in the arm. The three returned together,
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Speaker 1: Alicia casting curious glances at the uncomfortable youths, Champy threatening
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Speaker 1: to burst into giggles with every breath. Abner sat hard
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Speaker 1: on his cap and blushed silently. Ross twisted his hat
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Speaker 1: into a three cornered wreck. The two girls settled themselves
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Speaker 1: noisily on the upper step. The old man read on,
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Speaker 1: and on the sun sank lower. The hills were red
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Speaker 1: in the west, as though a brush fire flamed behind
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Speaker 1: their crests Abner stole a furtive glance at his companion
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Speaker 1: in misery, and the dolor of Ross's countenance somewhat assuaged
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Speaker 1: his anguish. The freckle faced boy was thinking of the
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Speaker 1: village over the hill, a certain pleasant white house set
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Speaker 1: back in a green yard, past whose gate the two
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Speaker 1: plank sidewalk ran. He knew lamps were beginning to wink
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Speaker 1: in the windows of the neighbors about, as though the
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Speaker 1: houses said, our boys are all at home. But Ross
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Speaker 1: pryors out trying to call on the girls and can't
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Speaker 1: get anybody to understand it. Oh that he were walking
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Speaker 1: down those two planks, drawing a stick across the pickets,
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Speaker 1: lifting high, happy feet which could turn in at that gate,
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Speaker 1: he wouldn't care what the lamps said. Then, he wouldn't
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Speaker 1: even mind if the whole Claybourn family died laughing at him.
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Speaker 1: If only some power would raise him up from this
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Speaker 1: paralyzing spot and put him behind the safe barriers of
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Speaker 1: his own home. The old man's voice lapsed into silence.
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Speaker 1: The light was becoming too dim for his reading. Aunt
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Speaker 1: Missouri turned and called over her shoulder, into the shadows
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Speaker 1: of the big hall, you, babe, go put two extra
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Speaker 1: plates on the supper table. The boys grew red from
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Speaker 1: the tips of their ears, and as far as any
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Speaker 1: one could see, under their wilting collars, Abner felt the
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Speaker 1: lump of gum come loose and slipped down a cold spine.
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Speaker 1: Had their intentions but been known, this inferential invitation would
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Speaker 1: have been most welcome. It was but to rise up
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Speaker 1: and thunder out we came to call on the young ladies.
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Speaker 1: They did not rise, They did not thunder out anything.
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Speaker 1: Babe brought a lamp and set it inside the window,
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Speaker 1: and mister Claybourne resumed his reading. Champy giggled and said
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Speaker 1: that Alicia made her Alicia drew her skirts about her,
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Speaker 1: sniffed and looked virtuous, and said she didn't see anything
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Speaker 1: funny to laugh at. The supper bell rang. The family,
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Speaker 1: evidently taking it for granted that the boys would follow,
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Speaker 1: went in alone. For the first time, Abner gave up.
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Speaker 1: This ain't any use, he complained. We ain't callin on anybody.
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Speaker 1: Why didn't you lay on the card, demanded Ross fiercely.
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Speaker 1: Why didn't you say, we've just dropped in to call
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Speaker 1: on Miss CHAMPI it's a pleasant evening. We feel we
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Speaker 1: must be going like you said you would. Then we
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Speaker 1: could have lifted our hats and got away decently. Abner
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Speaker 1: showed no resentment. Oh if it's so easy, why didn't
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Speaker 1: you do it yourself? He groaned. Somebody's coming, Ross muttered, hoarsely,
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Speaker 1: say it now, say it quick. Somebody proved to be
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Speaker 1: at Missouri, who advanced only as far as the end
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Speaker 1: of the hall, and shouted cheerfully. The idea of a
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Speaker 1: growing boy not coming to meals. When the bell rings,
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Speaker 1: I thought you two would be in there ahead of us.
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Speaker 1: Come on, and clinging to their head coverings as though
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Speaker 1: these contained some charm, whereby the owners might be rescued.
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Speaker 1: The unhappy callers were herded into the dining room. There
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Speaker 1: were many things on the table that boys like. Both
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Speaker 1: were becoming fairly cheerful. When Aunt Missouri checked the biscuit
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Speaker 1: plate with I treat my neighbor's children, just like I'd
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Speaker 1: want children of my own treated. If your mothers let
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Speaker 1: you eat all you want, say so, and I don't care.
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Speaker 1: But if either of them is a little bit particular,
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Speaker 1: why I'd stop at six. Still reeling from this blow,
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Speaker 1: the boys finally rose from the table and passed out
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Speaker 1: with the family, their hats clutched to their bosoms and
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Speaker 1: clinging together for mutual aid and comfort during the usual
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Speaker 1: Sunday evening singing. Champy laughed till Aunt Missouri threatened to
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Speaker 1: send her to bed. Abner's card slipped from his hand
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Speaker 1: and dropped face up on the floor. He fell upon
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Speaker 1: it and tore it into infinitesimal pieces. That must have
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Speaker 1: been a love letter, said Aunt Missouri in a pause
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Speaker 1: of the music. You boys are getting most old enough
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Speaker 1: to think about beginning to call on the girls. Her
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Speaker 1: eyes twinkled. Ross growled like a stoned cur. Abner took
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Speaker 1: a sudden dive into hints and helps and came up
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Speaker 1: with you flatter us, Miss Clayborne. Whereat Ross snickered out
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Speaker 1: like a human boy. They all stared at him. It
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Speaker 1: sounds so funny to call Aunt Missouri miss Clayborne. The
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Speaker 1: lad of the freckles, explained funny. Aunt Missouri reddened. I
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Speaker 1: didn't see any particular joke in my having my maiden name. Abner,
23:34
Speaker 1: who instantly guessed at what was in Ross's mind, turned
23:38
Speaker 1: white at the thought of what they had escaped. Suppose
23:41
Speaker 1: he had laid on the card and asked for miss Clayborne.
23:46
Speaker 1: What's the matter? Champy inquired Ross, in a fairly natural tone.
23:51
Speaker 1: The air he had drawn into his lungs when he
23:53
Speaker 1: laughed at Abner seemed to relieve him from the numbing
23:57
Speaker 1: gentility which had bound his powers since he joined Abner's ranks. Annahing,
24:03
Speaker 1: I laughed because you laughed, said the girl. The singing
24:07
Speaker 1: went forward fitfully. Servants traped through the darkened yard, going
24:12
Speaker 1: home for Sunday night. Aunt Missouri went out and held
24:16
Speaker 1: some low toned parley with them. Champi yawned with insulting enthusiasm.
24:22
Speaker 1: Presently both girls quietly disappeared. Aunt Missouri never returned to
24:27
Speaker 1: the parlor, evidently thinking that the girls would attend to
24:31
Speaker 1: the final amenities with their callers. They were left alone
24:35
Speaker 1: with old mister Clayborne. They sat as though bound in
24:38
Speaker 1: their chairs, while the old man read in silence for
24:41
Speaker 1: a while. Finally he closed his book, glanced about him,
24:46
Speaker 1: and observed absently. So you boys were to spend the night, then,
24:52
Speaker 1: as he looked at their startled faces, I'm right, am
24:55
Speaker 1: I not? You are to spend the night? Oh for
24:58
Speaker 1: courage to say thank you know we'll be going now.
25:02
Speaker 1: We just came over to call on miss CHAMPI but
25:05
Speaker 1: thought of how this would sound in face of the facts.
25:09
Speaker 1: The painful realization that they dared not say it because
25:12
Speaker 1: they had not said it locked their lips, Their feet
25:16
Speaker 1: were lead, their tongues stiff and too large for their mouths,
25:21
Speaker 1: like creatures in a nightmare. They moved stiffly, one might
25:25
Speaker 1: have said, creakingly, up the stairs, and received each a
25:30
Speaker 1: bedroom candle. Good night, children, said the absent minded old man.
25:35
Speaker 1: The two gurgled out some sounds which were intended for words,
25:39
Speaker 1: and dodged behind the bedroom door. They put us to bed.
25:44
Speaker 1: Abner's black eyes flashed fire, his nervous hands clutched at
25:49
Speaker 1: the collar Ross had lent him. That's what I get
25:52
Speaker 1: for coming here with you, Ross Pryor, and tears of
25:56
Speaker 1: humiliation stood in his eyes. In his turn, Ross showed
26:01
Speaker 1: no resentment. What I'm worried about is my mother, he confessed.
26:06
Speaker 1: She's so sharp about finding out things. She wouldn't tease me.
26:10
Speaker 1: She'd just be sorry for me. But she'll think I
26:13
Speaker 1: went home with you. I'd like to see my mother
26:16
Speaker 1: make a fuss about my calling on the girls, growled Abner,
26:20
Speaker 1: glad to let his rage take a safe direction, calling
26:25
Speaker 1: on the girls. Have we called on any girls? Demanded
26:29
Speaker 1: clear headed, honest Ross, not exactly yet, admitted Abner reluctantly.
26:37
Speaker 1: Come on, let's go to bed. Mister Claybourne, asked us.
26:41
Speaker 1: And he's the head of this household. It isn't anybody's
26:44
Speaker 1: business what we came for. I'll slip off my shoes
26:47
Speaker 1: and lie down till Babe ties up the dog in
26:50
Speaker 1: the morning, said Ross. Then we can get away before
26:53
Speaker 1: any of the family is up. Oh youth, youth, youth,
26:59
Speaker 1: with its rash promises. Worn out with misery, the boys
27:04
Speaker 1: slept heavily. The first sound that either heard in the
27:08
Speaker 1: morning was Babe hammering upon their bedroom door. They crouched
27:13
Speaker 1: guiltily and looked into each other's eyes. Let's pretend we
27:17
Speaker 1: ain't here and you'll go away, breathed Abner, But Babe
27:21
Speaker 1: was made of sterner stuff. He rattled the knob, he
27:25
Speaker 1: turned it. He put in a black face with a
27:27
Speaker 1: grin which divided it from ear to ear. Katy say
27:31
Speaker 1: I must call them fool boys to breakfast, he announced.
27:35
Speaker 1: I never named you all that, Katy. She said dat breakfast,
27:40
Speaker 1: echoed Ross, in a daze. Yes, a breakfast, reasserted Babe,
27:46
Speaker 1: coming entirely into the room and looking curiously about him.
27:50
Speaker 1: Ain't you all dumb? Been to bed at all? Wrapping
27:53
Speaker 1: his arms around his shoulders and shaking with silent ecstasies
27:57
Speaker 1: of mirth. The boys threw them him and ejected him.
28:03
Speaker 1: Sent up a servant to call us to breakfast, snarled Abner.
28:07
Speaker 1: If they'd only sent their old servant to the door
28:09
Speaker 1: in the first place, all this wouldn't have happened. I'm
28:13
Speaker 1: just that way when I get thrown off the track.
28:16
Speaker 1: You know how it was when I tried to repeat
28:18
Speaker 1: those things to you. I had to go clear back
28:21
Speaker 1: to the beginning when I got interrupted. Does that mean
28:25
Speaker 1: that you're still hanging around here to begin over and
28:28
Speaker 1: make a call? Asked Ross darkly. I won't go down
28:32
Speaker 1: to breakfast if you are Abner brightened a little as
28:35
Speaker 1: he saw Ross becoming wordy in his rage. I dare
28:40
Speaker 1: you to walk downstairs and say we just dropped in
28:43
Speaker 1: to call on miss Tampy, he said, I oh, I
28:49
Speaker 1: darn it all. There goes the second bell. We may
28:52
Speaker 1: as well trot down. Don't leave me, Ross pleaded the
28:56
Speaker 1: Jilton boy. I can't stay here and I can't go down.
29:01
Speaker 1: The tone was hysterical. The boy with freckles took his
29:05
Speaker 1: companion by the arm without another word, and marched him
29:08
Speaker 1: down the stairs. We may get a chance yet to
29:12
Speaker 1: call on Champy all by herself out on the porch
29:15
Speaker 1: or in the arbor before she goes to school, he suggested,
29:19
Speaker 1: By way of putting some spine into the black eyed boy.
29:23
Speaker 1: An emphatic bell rang when they were half way down
29:26
Speaker 1: the stairs. Clutching their hats, they slunk into the dining room.
29:31
Speaker 1: Even mister Claybourne seemed to notice something unusual in their
29:34
Speaker 1: bearings as they settled into the chairs assigned to them,
29:38
Speaker 1: and asked them kindly if they had slept well. It
29:42
Speaker 1: was plain that Aunt Missouri had been posting him as
29:45
Speaker 1: to her understanding of the intentions of these young men.
29:49
Speaker 1: The state of affairs gave an electric hilarity to the atmosphere.
29:54
Speaker 1: Babe traveled from the sideboard to the table, trembling like
29:57
Speaker 1: chocolate pudding. Katy insisted on bringing in the cakes herself,
30:03
Speaker 1: and grinned as she whisked her starched blue skirts in
30:06
Speaker 1: and out of the dining room. A dimple even showed
30:10
Speaker 1: itself at the corners of pretty Alicia's prim little mouth.
30:15
Speaker 1: Champy giggled till Ross heard Katy whisper, Now you got
30:20
Speaker 1: one dim snickern spells again, you clamb bust. You'll dress
30:24
Speaker 1: buttons off in the bag if you don't mind. As
30:27
Speaker 1: the spirits of those about them mounted, the hearts of
30:31
Speaker 1: the two youths sank. If it was like this among
30:34
Speaker 1: the quay birds, what would it be like at school
30:37
Speaker 1: and in the world at large? When their failure to
30:40
Speaker 1: connect intention with result became village talk, Ross bit fiercely
30:46
Speaker 1: upon an unoffending batter cake and resolved to make a
30:50
Speaker 1: call single handed before he left the house. They went
30:54
Speaker 1: out of the dining room, their hats as ever, pressed
30:58
Speaker 1: to their breasts. With no volition of their own, Their
31:02
Speaker 1: uncertain young legs carried them to the porch. The Claybourne
31:06
Speaker 1: family and household followed like small boys after a circus procession.
31:11
Speaker 1: When the two turned at bay, yet with nothing between
31:15
Speaker 1: them and liberty but a hypnotism of their own suggestion,
31:19
Speaker 1: they saw the black faces of the servants peering over
31:23
Speaker 1: the family shoulders. Ross was the boy to have drawn
31:27
Speaker 1: courage from the desperation of their case and made some decent,
31:32
Speaker 1: if not glorious ending. But at the psychological moment there
31:37
Speaker 1: came around the corner of the house that most contemptible
31:40
Speaker 1: figure known to the Southern plantation, a shirt boy, a
31:45
Speaker 1: creature who may be described, for the benefit of those
31:49
Speaker 1: not informed, as a picaninny, clad only in a long,
31:53
Speaker 1: coarse cotton shirt. While all eyes were fastened upon him,
31:57
Speaker 1: this inglorious ambassador bolted forth his message, Yo, Ma say
32:04
Speaker 1: his eyes were fixed upon Abner. If you don't come home,
32:08
Speaker 1: SHEI gwag come after you and cut you and a
32:11
Speaker 1: inch pieces with a raw hide when she get you.
32:15
Speaker 1: That just what Miss Hortens say. As though such a
32:19
Speaker 1: book as Hints and Helps had never existed, Abner shot
32:24
Speaker 1: for the gate. He was but a hobbledehoy fascinated with
32:28
Speaker 1: the idea of playing gentlemen. But in Ross there were
32:32
Speaker 1: the makings of a man. For a few half hearted paces,
32:36
Speaker 1: under the first impulse of horror, he followed his deserting chief,
32:41
Speaker 1: the laughter of the family, the unrestrainable guffaws of the
32:45
Speaker 1: Negroes sounding in the rear. But when Champy's high offensive
32:51
Speaker 1: giggle topping all the others insulted his ears, he stopped,
32:56
Speaker 1: dead wheeled and ran to the porch faster than he
33:00
Speaker 1: had fled from it, White as paper, shaking with inexpressible rage,
33:06
Speaker 1: he caught and kissed the tittering girl, violently, noisily. Before them,
33:12
Speaker 1: all the Negroes fled. They dared not trust their feelings.
33:17
Speaker 1: Even Alicia sniggered unobtrusively. Grandfather Claybourne chuckled, and Aunt Missouri
33:23
Speaker 1: frankly collapsed into her rocking chair, bubbling with mirth, crying out,
33:28
Speaker 1: good for you, Ross, seems you didn't know how to
33:31
Speaker 1: call on the girls after all. But Ross, paying no attention,
33:36
Speaker 1: walked swiftly toward the gate. He had served his divitiate.
33:40
Speaker 1: He would never be afraid again. With cheerful alacrity, he
33:44
Speaker 1: dodged the stones flung after him with friendly erratic aim
33:49
Speaker 1: by the girl upon whom, yesterday afternoon he had come
33:53
Speaker 1: to make a social call. End of story. Sixteen s