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Andy Stanley - You're Not The Boss Of Me Part 2 Guilt · Andy Stanley Sermons

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So today we're part two of the series that we just began this past week,
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call You're Not the Boss of Me, And the subtitle kind of says
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it all and kind sets the direction for what we're going to talk about these
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next few weeks. How this is kind of a how to series, how
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to say no to the emotions that compete for control? How to say no
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to the emotions that compete for control? And if you miss last week,
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the best way to catch up is to make sure you have your local church
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app because all these messages are on the app. And if you're a traveling
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or you don't live in our city, or you're not part of one of
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our churches, you can just go to my YouTube channel. All this stuff
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is up there for free. But make sure you catch up because these messages
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are sequential and they kind of build on each other. Now, I don't
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know if you've ever read one of these, but every once in a while
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they do surveys and they ask people a question something like this, They say,
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what would you do? What would you do if you knew you could
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get away with it? What would you do if you knew you could get
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away with it? You wouldn't be caught, there wouldn't be any consequences.
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You just get off scott free. What would you do? And the answers,
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if you've ever read one of these surveys, is the answers are terrifying.
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They're terrifying. Forget the millionaire next door. You have no idea who
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lives next door to you and what they would do if they knew they could
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get by with it. So to kind of get us moving in the same
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direction today, as we talk about what I want to talk about for the
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next few minutes, I want you to turn to someone, preferably someone you
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don't know, and I want you to answer this question, what would you
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do if you knew you could get away with it? Why would you?
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Am just kidding? Please don't do that, because we don't even want to
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know. In fact, we could probably guess. We already know that when
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the external filters are off, when the fear is gone, when we know
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we can't get caught, what happens in those moments and what happens in these
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surveys, this is what makes us so terrifying, is that our hearts are
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exposed. All of a sudden, people discover what's in there. They just
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hadn't thought about it, and the people asking the questions discover what's in there,
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and they're not even sure they want to hear about it. In fact,
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when I asked the question a few minutes ago, something terrible came to
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your mind, didn't it, harl Yes, you're in church and it came
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to your mind. You couldn't even say, I'm not gonna think about it
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now I'm in church, or I'm will listening to a preacher. Right,
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it just popped up, right. And because of our childhood and our culture,
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and because we're responsible people, you know, we learn to monitor our
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behavior, like I said last time, in order to get jobs and get
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dates and get second dates, and preferably second dates with the same person you
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know, over and over. So we learn to monitor our behavior. But
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no one's ever taught us. In fact, we're not even encouraged to monitor
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what's going on in our hearts. In fact, worse than that, our
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culture oftentimes encourages us to follow our hearts. Is that a good idea?
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It all depends upon what's in there. Jesus had this to say, He
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said this, don't you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach
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and then out of the body, to which we say, yes, we
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see that. In fact, we literally see that. And now that he
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has our attention, he says this, but the things that come out of
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a person's mouth, in those unguarded moments, even sometimes in those guarded moments,
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the things that come out of a person's mouth come from the heart.
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What comes out comes out because it's in there. And these things that come
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out defile them. That is, these things that come out put them at
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odds with God, because the things that come out oftentimes put us at odds
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with people. And the best way to be at odds with God is to
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offend people or to hurt people that God loves. And then Jesus went on
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and said this for and then this is such a brilliant observation that it took
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us many many millennia, really are centuries to kind of figure out. In
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terms of psychological terms, he says this, for out of the mouth and
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for out of the heart, rather come evil thoughts. He kind of equates
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to the heart with our thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft,
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false testimonies, slander, these are what defile a person. He says,
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it's not what you put into your body that defiles you. What it's
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that's what comes out. Because what comes out hurts other people. And what
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comes out is what's already in there. And where is it? He said,
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it's in our heart. And all of these actions and all of these
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words begin with a thought, they begin with something that's all ready in us.
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Now, this explains something all of us have experienced. This explains why
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seemingly and otherwise very nice people suddenly do or suddenly unexpectedly say horrific things.
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In fact, if you're dating someone right now, just a little sidebar information
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for you. If you're dating someone right now who on occasion does things or
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says things that seem to be out of character, especially when they are under
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pressure, you should pay attention to that. And when they say, oh,
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I don't know where that came from, you just lean in and say,
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well, I do. It came from your heart. The reason it
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came out is because that's what's in there. This is a really, really,
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really big deal, especially if you're in a serious relationship, or let
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me just describe it this way. Shaking this glass container or tipping this glass
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container over does not determine what comes out what is already in here determines what
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comes out of here. More importantly, does anyone on the front row want
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a skittle? You probably don't. Let me say that. Again, shaking
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this does not determine what comes out of here. Shaking this exposes what is
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already in here. And so it is with you, and so it is
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with me, and so it is with us, and so it is with
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the people that you're in relationship with. And if you are moving toward a
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very serious relationship and romantic relationship, pay attention to what comes out in those
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unguarded moments, because again, we're all guarded. We've all learned to be
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on our best behavior. But what comes out of us is what's in us,
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and it's something we all need to pay attention to. So bottom line
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is we should heed Solomon's advice. Solomon was the king of Israel, lived
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way way way long time before Jesus, and he made a whole bunch of
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extraordinary statements in this document called Proverbs that's part of the Jewish scripture and a
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part of the Christian scripture. And here's what he says. He said above
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all else says, and this is the most important thing you can do.
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I mean, this is an extreme statement. Above everything else, And he
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talks about so many other things, but he says, above all those things,
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even the things I've written about, guard your heart. Why because everything
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you do, everything you do, everything you say, ultimately flows from it.
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So in addition to monitoring your behavior, we're all pretty good at that
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right. In fact, today you will sit in rows and listen to me
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talk and think about something entirely different. Most of you. It's okay,
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you're daydreaming, except now you're not because I said that, right, But
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you've learned to behave yourself. We all have learned to behave ourselves. Solomon
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says, it goes beyond behavior. Jesus says, it goes beyond behavior.
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We have to learn to monitor our hearts because what's in here, what's in
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here, is eventually going to be out there. Think about this, what
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your parents, what your parents carried in their hearts eventually spilled out on each
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other and ultimately spilled out on you. And as we said last time,
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what's in your heart, what's in my heart, what's in our hearts will
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eventually spill out on those who are closest to us, so this is a
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big, big, big deal. Now moving on guarding our hearts. Guarding
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our hearts involves a couple of things. Guarding our hearts involves cleaning the toxins
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out, because we got some yucky stuff in our heart. Our hearts don't.
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Many of our hearts don't look like this, right, It's not all
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sweet, is it. Guarding our heart involves cleaning out some toxins as well
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as keeping them out, and that's what this series is all about. So
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I'd like to begin with one particular thing that all of us need to know
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what to do with that many of us have in our hearts. In fact,
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I think I'm sure all of us carry a little bit of this.
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The question is is it the boss of us? And what do we do
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with this thing that resides in us? Because we've lived long enough to accumulate
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some of it. So today I want to talk about this word guilt.
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Guilt. Guilt is the emotion because it is an emotion. You feel guilt
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right or you should when you're guilty. Guilt is the emotion that's associated with
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acknowledging. We're going to talk about that when we've done something wrong. It's
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the emotion associated when we acknowledge, when it comes to our mind that we've
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done something wrong. And there's lots of different kinds of guilt. There's false
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guilt that is, you feel guilty and you're not guilty. You feel bad
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about something that you either didn't do, or you feel bad about doing something
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that wasn't even a big deal. That's false guilt. We're not going to
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talk about that today. The guilt that we're most associated with and that we're
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most concerned with today is the guilt associated because you are guilty, you did
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something wrong, you did something wrong to someone, and you've hurt someone,
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and you rehearse it and over time if you're not careful what you did in
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the past, because begins to defer find you. And then there's the guilt
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that is real because we did something but we don't feel it most of the
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time. There's the guilt that it was so bad what we did was so
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bad in that season and that relationship and that job, whatever it might be,
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and we did it. We're guilty, but it is so terrifying and
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it's so overwhelming that we just stuff it. We stuffed it with stuff it.
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We know we're guilty. And then every once in a while it comes
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looming up, and when it does, we all do the same thing.
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We retreat to the narrative that we have created that allows us to carry our
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guilt without it overwhelming us. And we all have a narrative. The narrative
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goes like this, Well, it wasn't just me. Well they participated as
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well. Well, I was only twenty Okay, I was twenty five,
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but I was only in my twenties, right, Well, I was a
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college freshman. Well it was my first job. Well I didn't really know
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any better. Well, my dad was that way, and my grandfather was
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that way. I bet Adam was that way. I mean, yes,
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I'm guilty, Yes I did it, But we create a narrow and the
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narrative allows us to distance ourselves from our actual guilt and we suppress it.
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But here's the thing, and here's why we're going to talk about this.
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As uncomfortable as it is, denying it, denying it well or excusing it,
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denying it or being defined by it always empowers it. And guilt throws
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you and throws me off balance. And when guilt throws us off balance in
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our relationships, especially the relationships most important to us. Guilt becomes the boss
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of us. And here's why, because guilt creates what I refer to as
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a debt debtor relationship, a debt debtor relationship. Guilt creates a debt debtor
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relationship within us, between us and ourselves and between us and other person other
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people. Every single wrong, and here this is so important for where we're
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going in the series, every single wrong you've ever committed against another person,
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there was a sense in which you took something from them. You stole something
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from them. It could have been a child, it could been their time,
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It could be money, it could be reputation, it could be their
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self esteem. But every time you do something wrong to another person, you
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take something from them. And because you took something from them, either something
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physical or mental, or psychological, or you know, lots of different realms,
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we take things from people. When we hurt people, we create this
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disparity within them. But when we take something from them, we owe them.
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So there's this debt debt or relationship. In fact, we even have
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we've created terminology for this. We use it all the time. We say
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I owe her an apology, I owe her, I took something and now
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I need to give her something back. I can't give her back what I
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took exactly. I can't give her the time back. I can't give her
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the life back. I can't give her the self esteem back. I can't
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give her her husband back. I can't give her the time with her children
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back. But I owe her something or I don't know how I can make
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it up to them. Somehow I owe them. I'm in debt to them.
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But here's the trick, and here's what makes this so difficult. We
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don't experience guilt as debt. We don't experience guilt as debt. We experience
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guilt as a weight, a weight that throws us off balance. In fact,
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some of you, because of your unresolved guilt that we're going to talk
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about in just a minute, you are off balance in your parenting. You
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over parent, or you're a permissive parent as you're responding to something in your
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past. You are too aggressive in your relationships, you're too timid in your
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relationships, your ability to forgive, your ability to love. We're off balance
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because of this debt, debt or relationship, and we because we experience it
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as a weight, an unnecessary weight that throws us off balance, specifically in
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our relationship to ourselves, in our relationship to other people. Again, we
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have terminology for this. When you finally resolve the guilt, when you finally
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get rid of guilt, how do you feel? This is the terminology we
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use. We say, you know what, I just feel like a weight
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has been lifted off of me. But here's the other tricky thing about guilt.
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We carry the weight everywhere we go. You may have picked up your
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weight at work, but then you brought it home. You may have picked
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up your guilt weight in college, but then you took it into the next
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season of life. You may have picked up your weight of guilt on a
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business trip, but then you brought it back home to your city. Your
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guilt, my guilt. It travels with us. And if we don't resolve
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it, and if we don't connect some dots that we're gonna do in just
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a few minutes, guilt evolves into something very different, in something very sinister.
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Guilt evolves into anger because at the end of the day, you're angry
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with yourself, and I'm angry with myself. I did not live up to
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my expectations. And the problem with anger is that anger leaks. You've disappointed
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you, but now you're constantly disap pointed with the people who are closest to
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you. You didn't live up to your expectations, and now nobody else can
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live up to your expectations either. See, guilty people don't feel the debt,
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debt or relationship. Guilty people feel the weight, and the weight throws
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us off balance. But here's the really difficult part of this. And they're
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going to get off this psychology thing. And I'm going to tell you something
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that Jesus said. This is so powerful. Here's the last thing on this.
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Guilty people, guilty people, and we're all guilty. Guilty people rarely
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ever make this connection. Guilty people rarely ever make the connection between their guilt
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and their anger. They are rarely able to put their finger on the source
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of their fury. And when anybody ever points it out, they are quick,
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or you are quick to point out what's wrong in the other person.
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And consequently, their failures, my failures, your failures disappear into the recesses
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of our hearts, while everybody else's failures are so plain and evident to see.
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Now, there's a really good reason why we don't want to face our
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guilt. There's a really good reason why we suppress it, why we come
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up with a narrative, why we have a story, why we stand off
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the rough edges, and why we don't just face it and embrace it.
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Because to face it and to embrace it leaves us with no recourse. It
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leaves us standing condemned. There's no recourse. There's no way to undo the
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past. You can't go back and be a freshman again. Right. We
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can't undo. We can't unsay, you can't unleave, you can't be un
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unfaithful, you can't undrink too much, you can't unwork too much. You
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can't return child's childhood. You can't refer to return his or her first marriage.
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So again, we create a narrative and we just try to move on.
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Except you can't really do that either, because your past, your past,
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my past. The past was not designed to be left completely behind.
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It's your story. It's part of your story, and as much as we
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want to distance ourself from it, if you don't resolve it, it travels
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with you. But here's the great news, and here's why I thought I
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was been The first ten minutes depressing you as much as I possibly could,
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and bringing back to mind all those things you never wanted to think about again.
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You do not have to be defined by your past, and neither do
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you have to spend this season of your life denying your past. There is
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a third option that Jesus offered, and someone who experienced this third option in
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a way that we can't even begin to imagine is the one that put it
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into words best. The apostle Paul wrote something I want to read you in
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just a minute, but real quickly. This is so important when I read
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what I'm about to read that he wrote, if you grew up in church,
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I don't want you to hear me reading the Bible. And if you
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didn't grow up in church and you don't have much use for the Bible,
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I definitely don't want you to hear me reading the Bible. What I want
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you to hear are the words of a man who had more regret than everybody
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in this room combined, a man who carried more guilt than everybody in your
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room combined. A man who carried more guilt and more regret than we can
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even begin to imagine. This was not theory for him This wasn't preacher talk,
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this wasn't well, what can we put in the Bible. I've got
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an idea. This is a man whose life experiences left him so broken and
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so ashamed and so guilty. Because the apostle Paul steps onto the pages of
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history, as most of you know as Saul of Tarsus and saw all of
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Tarsu's began arresting, torturing, and in some cases imprisoning, and in some
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cases executing innocent men and women in the name of God. And later in
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his life he would face the parents of children he'd arrested. He would face
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the children of parents he'd arrested and have executed. Later in his life,
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he was engulfed and immersed in the very community of people whose fathers and sons
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and cousins and aunts and sisters and mothers and daughters he had had arrested,
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imprisoned, and executed in the name of God. I can't imagine the horror,
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the terror he heard, the screams, and he had regret. We
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can't even imagine. And here's the amazing thing about his story. He didn't
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deny his guilt, He didn't sand off the rough edges of his guilt.
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He documented it. We know his story because he tells us his story.
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But instead of allowing it to define him, and instead of spending every minute
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of his day trying to distance himself from it and deny it. The Apostle
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Paul, when he became a Jesus follower, he discovered this third way.
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And so in a letter he wrote to Christians living in Nero's Rome, here's
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what he wrote, and here's what he wrote to them, and here's what
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he wrote for you. Therefore, there is now no condemnation. Therefore,
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something new has happened. It's a new day, it's a new era,
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it's a new covenant. God has done something new. And as a result
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of what God has done, there is therefore now no condemnation. There is
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a space, There is a place. There is a space, There is
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a place where the actual past, where your actual past is neither forgotten nor
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condemning. It can be faced. Even though it can't be erased, it
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can be embraced, and you can live without condemnation. You no longer have
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to pretend it didn't happen. You no longer have to live with that narrative
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that gives you excuses you can face it and yet not feel the terrifying consequences
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in condemnation, either self condemnation or condemnation from God. And where is this
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space? He tells us. Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those
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who are in Christ Jesus. Those who are willing to face the condemning truth
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about themselves, acknowledge it to God and surrender to the lordship or the bossship
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of His son, stand uncondemned and are able to regain their balance. And
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why is this true, he tells us. He says, because through Christ
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Jesus, that is, through a relationship with Christ Jesus, through embracing everything
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God through Christ has done for us, through stepping into this new covenant relationship
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with God that has different standards and different rules and a different way of thinking,
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in a different relationship with God. He said, through Christ Jesus,
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the law of the Spirit who gives life, I'll come back to that has
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set you free from this other law, the law of sin and death.
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The law of sin and death is simply this that when you sin, you're
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stuck. That when you hurt somebody, you're just guilty, and you're guilty
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forever and there's no way to go back and undo it. Nothing. There's
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nothing you can do about it. You can grovel in it, or you
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can deny it, but you're stuck. Guilt is the boss of you,
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he says. But the law of the spirit of life has set you free
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from that. How, he says, let me tell you how for what
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the law was powerless to do. See your rules, your personal rules of
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behavior. How you should have behaved in that relationship, How you should have
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behaved in that marriage, How you should have behaved at work, How you
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should have behaved with him, with her, with them, how you should
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have parented. The law, whether it's the federal law, the state law,
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the municipal law, the laws of marriage, whatever it might be,
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the only thing laws can do are set to the standard as low as we
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can go. And then once we go too low, it simply condemns us,
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and in some cases it punishes us. But the law can't restore you,
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and the law can't set you free from your past. The law is
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a constant reminder you're just guilty. Good luck with that, live with it,
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deny it, come up with some narrative, but live the rest of
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your life. Limp and live the rest of your life off balance. And
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Paul discovered that when Jesus came to create this brand new kind of relationship with
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God, that God through Christ did something even the best law in the world
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cannot do. For what the law, the rules, whatever it was that
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you violated, that dinged your conscience, what the law was powerless to do.
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Are you ready for this? This? This is such good news God
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did. How did he do it? He says, hang on, I'm
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about to tell you by means by which by sending his own son, his
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own perfect son, who wasn't guilty of anything, By sending his own son
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in the likeness of sinful death, of sinful flesh. This is so powerful
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that the God became flesh and dwelt among us. This is why the fact
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that God came to live among us in the person of Jesus, this is
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why this is so extraordinarily important. That God didn't send Jesus down here just
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to show us how to live, though he did, just to show us
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how to love, though he did just to show us what God was like.
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Though he did, he sent him in the form of sinful flesh to
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take upon himself what you deserved, and what I deserved, so that we
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could be free, and so that we wouldn't be trapped between either facing it
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and being defined by it, or denying it and living a lie. He
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said, for the law couldn't do, God did by sending his own son,
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in the likeness of sinful flesh, to be a sin, offering that
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at the cross, Jesus took what you actually deserve on himself. That at
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the cross, Jesus took exactly precisely what you actually deserved on himself. And
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do you know what he took on himself? He said, Well, he
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took my sin, he took your sin. But it's even better than that.
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He took on himself the condemnation associated with your sin. He took the
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divine condemnation. He took the self condemnation. He took all the condemnation.
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And when Paul recognized this and stepped into this and began living this, he
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said, Church Christians, those of you who are almost as guilty as me,
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those of you who are less guilty than me, if it's possible to
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be more guilty than me, when you step into and receive what God has
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done for you, in Christ, there is no condemn nation he says,
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Come on, bring your guilt to me with your eyes wide open. No
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stories, no excuses, no narratives, no blaming, And together, God
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says, together you and I will agree that you are guilty. You actually
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broke his heart, You actually betrayed her. You lied to get your way,
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You were irresponsible with your body. You knew better, but you did
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it anyway. So let's own it. You are guilty, but you are
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not condemned. God says, when I see you, I don't see that,
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and I don't want you to see it either, because I want you
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to see you the way I see you, and I don't want it to
26:25
stop here. I want you to see her the way I see her,
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and I want you to see him the way that I see him. He
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finishes this with this, he says, And so God condemned something, but
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not you. God actually condemned sin in the flesh in order that the righteous
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requirement of the law might be fully met in us. You know what that
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means. That means that God has restored you to guilt less relationship with him
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in spite of your actual guilt. That God chooses to love you and to
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listen to you, and to relate to you as if it never even happened.
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You're guilty because you did it, but you're not condemned because Jesus took
27:15
your guilt upon himself. Now, is this just a bunch of theological gobbleding
27:22
goop. It's like, Andy, I don't even understand what the verses said.
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You kind of smoothed right over. I know, because Paul was very
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complex in his language. Is this a big deal? This is a really
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big deal, And this is a really big deal for you, and it's
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a really big deal for everybody close to you. Four big implications I want
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to share with you real quickly, because this is true. When you step
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into a relationship with God through Christ, when you step into this new covenant
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relationship that Jesus came to inaugurate for everybody on planet Earth that wants to take
27:48
advantage of it, four things happen. Number One, you actually forfeit the
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right to condemn yourself because you are not yours to condemn. Let me say
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that again. You forfeit when you become I'm a Christ follower. You give
28:02
up your right to condemn yourself because you don't belong to you anymore. Guilt
28:07
is not the boss of you. You don't get to be the boss of
28:11
you. You got a brand new boss. And your boss as you are
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not condemned, which means you can tell that voice of shame. Hey,
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I know, I'm feeling it again. I'm reminded again. In fact,
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Andy just brought it up in church for me. Yeah, I know.
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But let me just tell you something, shame. Let me tell you something
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guilty. Yes I'm guilty, but I'm not condemned. Yes I'm guilty,
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but I've lost my right to condemn myself because I have been purchased with a
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price. I have been purchased with the blood of Christ. I am not
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my own. I lost my right to condemn myself. Yourself is not condemned
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because the one who purchased you declares you guilty. It's in the past,
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it's paid for. You are not condemned. Number two. Your guilt will
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remind you, but it will not define you. You did it, but
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you are not what you did. God condemned sin. He did not condemn
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you your past. This is what's so powerful, And this is where I
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hope that all of you can get and all of us can get. And
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I know the process I had to go through to get here. Personally,
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this is not you, you, you, you, you, This is
29:15
us Us. And you can imagine to stand up here week after week after
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week and tell everybody how to live their life, and to tell everybody what
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God wants them to do. Can you imagine that when my past rises up,
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how big and ugly and awful it gets, especially in comparison to what
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I do for a living. Your past, this is what makes it so
29:33
powerful. Your past, your guilt, your worst sin, your worst day
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ever, your worst spring break ever, your worst moment ever, becomes a
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pivot point for you, not to condemn yourself, but to look up and
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gratitude for God. One day, Jesus was teaching and at the end of
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a little encounter with a woman who embarrassed his get the people who were hosting
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him. He said, look, the person who is forgiven the most loves
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the most. The more you've been forgiven, the more you have in your
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past to be embarrassed of, the more that there's, the more that there
30:03
is that you hope nobody finds out about, but suddenly you're free to talk
30:07
about it. He says. The more of the stuff like that there is
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the more your capacity is, the greater your capacity is to love, and
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the greater your capacity is to be grateful. In fact, sometimes when you're
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in church and there's a man or a woman somewhere around you, and the
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songs playing, and their hands are up in the air, one hands are
30:23
up in the air and they're just weeping, and you think, I guarantee
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you that's somebody with the story. And when they see certain lyrics, and
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when they hear certain lyrics, and they hear certain songs, they are reminded
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that I am forgiven, that is not who I am. Where would I
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be? How badly would I be off balance if it weren't for the grace
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and the love and the cross, because your past is a pivot point to
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look up and to express your extraordinary gratitude to God. Number Three, you
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forfeit the right to condemn others, because that would make you a hypocrite.
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When you finally get this, you forfeit the right to size folks up and
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just write them off. In fact, I would just say this. My
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experience is this, the more judgmental you are, the less aware you are
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of your own sin. In fact, the more judgmental you are the more
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likely it is that you have some big sin that you've created a narrative for,
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and all that energy and all that guilt that you've never faced up to,
31:30
it's just gone somewhere else. Because the people who are confronted with and
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embrace and face their past and their failures and bring them eyes wide open to
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God, they find it almost impossible to judge anyone else or to condemn anyone
31:44
else, because they know what a hypocrite that would make them. You are
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perfectly positioned when you get this. You are perfectly positioned to love the unlovable.
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You are perfectly positioned to forgive the unforgivable. After all received, how
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could you not freely give? Look that one idea changed the world once last
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one? Is this? Now you're free to make restitution without expectations and without
32:15
excuses. Let me tell you what's not Christianity. Christianity is not this.
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I hurt you, I betrayed you. Then I went home and I asked
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God to forgive me, and now things are good. That's not Christianity.
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That's something else. Christianity is this. I hurt you, I faced my
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guilt, I asked God to forgive me, and He gave me what I
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don't deserve, So the least I can do is to come back to you
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and give you what you do deserve. That's Christianity, your new covenant,
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your new covenant marching orders is to love as you have been loved, and
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God, in his perfection, humbled himself through Christ to give you what you
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don't deserve. How dare we not go back? Can make restitutions of the
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people that we have hurt. But when we go back, we don't go
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back with our narrative. We don't go back with our excuses, we don't
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go back with our stories. We make restitution freely because of what God has
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done for us freely. In fact, this could be a whole nother sermon.
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I'll just mention it. Move on your restitution, your apology, your
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willingness to go back and confront the person, not confront, but approach the
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person that you hurt, the person you took from, the person you robbed
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a childhood from the person that you whatever you did. Your willingness to go
33:38
back may unlock a vault of bitterness that's been eating them alive from the inside.
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Your willingness to step into this new kind of covenant relationship with God,
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where you bring all that junk up and say I did it. I'm guilty,
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no excuses, but I am accepting the fact that in you, not
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only am I forgiven. I am not going I'm not going to condemn myself.
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In fact, every time I remember my past, it's going to remind
34:04
me of how much you love me. I'm not going to condemn myself.
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I'm not going to condemn others. And now I'm free to go back and
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make restitution and approach the people that I've heard, And I'm not going to
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make excuses, and I'm not gonna say, yeah, but you had a
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part, and yeah I was young. I'm just going to go back.
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And it's possible that your humility, as you model the humility of Christ,
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may be the thing that allows them to deal with stuff in their heart that
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they don't know what to do with. So I hate to ask you this
34:30
question, but maybe this is the reason you're watching today. Is somebody waiting
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for you to make the first move? Is somebody waiting for you to make
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the first move? Is there somebody from your past and they're carrying the shrapnel
34:50
of what you did to them or around them or what you didn't do for
34:52
them, and they're just hoping and waiting. They think it'll never happen because
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they've written you off and you gone on and you're successful, You live in
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a different state, you got remarried, you got a second family, you've
35:05
gone on, you got a new job. You know, you know,
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they think, they think you don't even have a conscience that hasn't bothered you
35:09
a bit, and they're churning on the inside. Is there someone waiting on
35:15
you to make the first move? Is your pride keeping you from making it?
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It's pride the boss of you. Jesus humbled himself for you, and
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now you're free to humble yourself for others. So are you ready to stop
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telling yourself that same old story? Are you ready to stop the excuses?
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Are you ready to get honest with God and maybe get honest with others.
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I understand the tension. We fear the consequences of confession more than the consequences
35:52
of concealment. And this is a mistake, because this just makes shame and
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guilt and denial. The Boss of you. My past will remind me,
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it will not define me. I want all of us, even if you
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don't think this is messages for you to read this out loud together. Ready,
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my past will remind me it will not define. One more time,
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my past will remind me it will not define me. And then all together,
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Ready, Guilt, you are not the boss of me. Guilt,
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you're not to boss of me. I'm gonna face my past. I'm gonna
36:35
own it. You're not gonna control me anymore. It's embarrassing, but embarrassment.
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You're not the boss with me either. I have a relationship with God
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where I can find a place where I'm no longer condemned and guilt. You've
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never offered me that shame. You have never offered me that embarrassment. You
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have never offered me that pride. You have never offered me that. Only
36:55
through Christ. Only in Christ can I stand guilt but not condemned. So
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here's some good news. If you're having a hard time forgiving yourself, the
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good news is this, yourself has already been forgiven. There is no condemnation
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for those who are in Christ Jesus, because what the law could not do,
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God already did, and now He invites you to step in to it.