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5 Questions with Dave Barry · Reasonably Happy with Paul Ollinger

0:01
SPEAKER_02: Well, welcome everybody.
0:03
SPEAKER_02: This is, my name is Paul Ollinger.
0:05
SPEAKER_02: I'm a comedian and podcaster from New York City.
0:07
SPEAKER_02: You know my guest.
0:09
He is,
0:10
but I'm going to read his introduction anyway because I think
0:12
it's clever and I wrote it.
0:14
SPEAKER_02: His column ran in 500 newspapers around the world for multiple decades.
0:19
SPEAKER_02: I was told that I must mention his Pulitzer Prize.
0:22
SPEAKER_02: His publicist threatened me if I didn't mention that.
0:25
And if you've ever heard of International Talk Like a Pirate
0:27
Day,
0:28
it's probably because of him.
0:29
SPEAKER_02: The New York Times called him the funniest man in America.
0:32
SPEAKER_02: I call him a darn hoot.
0:34
He's written dozens of books that have sold approximately a
0:36
zillion copies.
0:37
He's the Michael Jordan of Mirth,
0:39
the Hemingway of hilarity,
0:41
Mark Twain in a Mustang.
0:42
SPEAKER_02: I don't know what you drive, but I like the rhyme there.
0:45
SPEAKER_02: Mr. Dave Barry, thank you and welcome to Five Questions.
0:48
SPEAKER_02: A darn hoot.
0:50
SPEAKER_01: I don't think I've ever been called that.
0:52
SPEAKER_02: Well, you can use that.
0:53
SPEAKER_02: You can use that.
0:54
SPEAKER_02: I always wanted to be a hoot.
0:56
SPEAKER_02: Dave,
0:57
before we start I have to tell you I associate you with Florida
1:02
as do so many
1:03
people even though you were born in not far north of me or you
1:08
were raised not far
1:09
SPEAKER_02: north of me in Armont,
1:10
New York but when I was going through the Tampa airport a
1:14
couple of years ago I
1:16
took a picture that I consider to be somewhat anthropological
1:21
and it is because of
1:25
this photo if I can find it oh my goodness gracious I can find
1:30
all my here it is I
1:34
found I saw Florida man in the Tampa airport and I took this
1:38
picture and I've no I
1:41
don't know you cannot see his butt crack I mean he's got the
1:46
tattoo he's got the
1:47
SPEAKER_01: shirt off of course
1:48
But he's got those pants hiked up a little high to be a true
1:52
Florida man.
1:52
SPEAKER_01: Let me see.
1:53
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you think he's not quite repping Florida?
1:55
SPEAKER_01: Is he got a mullet?
1:56
SPEAKER_01: There's the thing sort of covering the...
1:59
SPEAKER_02: Yeah,
1:59
he's got that sunglass leash on and it appears to be a pretty
2:03
legit mullet.
2:04
SPEAKER_02: I tried to be discreet when I took this picture.
2:07
SPEAKER_01: You don't need to be discreet.
2:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I would say that could be him.
2:10
SPEAKER_01: That could be...
2:11
He could have been walking through the airport on the way to
2:13
get drunk or something.
2:14
SPEAKER_01: I don't know, Derek.
2:16
SPEAKER_02: Yeah,
2:17
SPEAKER_02: so anyway,
2:18
SPEAKER_02: I just wanted to share that with you since when I took it,
2:20
I was thinking of you and I was on my way to headline McCurdy's
2:25
Comedy Club in
2:25
SPEAKER_02: Sarasota,
2:26
where I will be August 13th through 16th for all your giant
2:30
fans in Sarasota.
2:32
SPEAKER_02: But let's start five questions with question number one.
2:36
SPEAKER_02: You're America's humor writer.
2:38
SPEAKER_02: I ran a definition of humor once that I really liked,
2:42
SPEAKER_02: and it was called the perception of incongruity.
2:47
SPEAKER_02: Does this resonate with you?
2:49
Well,
2:49
like every other effort to define humor,
2:52
it's,
2:52
of course,
2:52
remarkably not funny.
2:56
SPEAKER_01: Correct.
2:57
But I was,
2:58
I actually,
2:59
I used to get asked all the time,
3:01
you know,
3:01
my theory to explain humor.
3:04
SPEAKER_01: And I would always say that, like, the closest I could come is, like,
3:08
SPEAKER_01: The reason you have a sense of humor,
3:10
SPEAKER_01: the reason people,
3:11
SPEAKER_01: humans have sense of humor,
3:12
SPEAKER_01: animals don't.
3:13
SPEAKER_01: Because humans understand two things that animals don't.
3:17
SPEAKER_01: One is that we're going to die.
3:18
And two is that most of the,
3:20
many things that will happen to us before we die suck.
3:23
SPEAKER_01: Like life is not that great.
3:26
SPEAKER_01: You know, a lot of times not great.
3:28
SPEAKER_01: And it ends with death.
3:30
SPEAKER_01: So animals don't know this.
3:32
SPEAKER_01: They have no particular reason to worry about it.
3:34
SPEAKER_01: We worry about it.
3:35
So we invent like this way of dealing with the anxiety of like
3:39
life sucking,
3:40
SPEAKER_01: which is to make fun of things.
3:42
SPEAKER_01: And the other way we deal with this is we invent religion and we say,
3:45
SPEAKER_01: well,
3:46
SPEAKER_01: you know,
3:47
SPEAKER_01: you're not really going to die.
3:49
SPEAKER_01: And there is a reason why there's all this suffering and suckage.
3:53
SPEAKER_01: And if you don't believe that,
3:54
SPEAKER_01: you know,
3:55
SPEAKER_01: if you're not into religion,
3:56
SPEAKER_01: you go the other way,
3:56
SPEAKER_01: which is,
3:57
SPEAKER_01: well,
3:57
SPEAKER_01: it's funny,
3:58
SPEAKER_01: you know,
3:58
SPEAKER_01: which is sort of just a release of tension.
4:03
A sense of humor,
4:04
I think,
4:04
isn't really like an add-on to your personality.
4:10
SPEAKER_01: It's like being able to be musical or something.
4:12
It's like essential to being a human being is to have a sense
4:16
of humor or you'll
4:18
SPEAKER_01: become sort of crazy trying to deal with or become very religious.
4:21
SPEAKER_01: That's your other option.
4:23
SPEAKER_01: So I feel really bad for people who have We've all met them.
4:28
SPEAKER_01: Like, how do they get through life?
4:30
SPEAKER_01: You know, how do they function?
4:33
So the source code for Catholicism is also the source code for
4:37
the writing you did
4:38
SPEAKER_02: for,
4:39
SPEAKER_02: you know,
4:40
SPEAKER_02: 40 years.
4:41
SPEAKER_02: Same thing.
4:46
So do you think it's a defense mechanism or an adaptation that
4:52
is necessary for our survival?
4:54
SPEAKER_01: And so, yeah, it's a coping mechanism, a mental coping mechanism.
4:57
SPEAKER_01: Like, if we just sit around and just accept, like, that
5:03
SPEAKER_01: Life is hard and terrible things are happening all the time.
5:06
If they're not happening to us directly,
5:07
they're still happening all over the world.
5:09
SPEAKER_01: Terrible things are happening.
5:11
SPEAKER_01: And it is going to end badly for all of us.
5:13
SPEAKER_01: I mean, if you don't look forward to death.
5:17
SPEAKER_01: You have to process that somehow.
5:20
And again,
5:20
I mean,
5:21
the two ways are there's a real,
5:23
there's a meaning behind it all.
5:25
SPEAKER_01: You know,
5:25
SPEAKER_01: it's a greater power that's,
5:26
SPEAKER_01: you know,
5:27
SPEAKER_01: that set all this up and there's nothing wrong with it.
5:29
SPEAKER_01: Or, while it's funny,
5:31
Like we can at least Because if you think about a lot of jokes
5:34
I mean a whole lot
5:35
of You're a humorist you know A whole lot of jokes Are based
5:39
not on really funny
5:40
things They're based on terrible things Scary things That's
5:44
what we laugh about
5:46
Well I think the part of it The incongruity part made sense to
5:49
me Because when I
5:51
find myself getting inordinately upset About something that is
5:54
trivial I'm like
5:56
SPEAKER_02: that's the place to dig
5:59
SPEAKER_02: The question is,
5:59
SPEAKER_02: is why does the way the wife,
6:02
SPEAKER_02: my,
6:02
SPEAKER_02: the way my wife loads the dishwasher,
6:04
SPEAKER_02: why does that drive me crazy at an organic level?
6:07
SPEAKER_01: Because you are a professional comedian and you need material.
6:11
SPEAKER_01: And there it is.
6:12
SPEAKER_02: There it is.
6:13
SPEAKER_01: But no, you're right.
6:13
Most of the things that,
6:14
like,
6:15
we get obsessed about absurd things most of our day.
6:21
SPEAKER_01: This is what,
6:22
SPEAKER_01: every time you go to a funeral,
6:23
SPEAKER_01: God,
6:23
SPEAKER_01: this is the most serious conversation already.
6:27
SPEAKER_01: But, um,
6:29
SPEAKER_01: Like when you go to a funeral,
6:31
you like immediately realize that you have spent almost all of
6:34
your time fretting
6:36
SPEAKER_01: about,
6:37
SPEAKER_01: you know,
6:37
SPEAKER_01: stupid bullshit instead of important things.
6:39
SPEAKER_01: And then,
6:40
SPEAKER_01: you know,
6:40
SPEAKER_01: you watch your friend get lowered into the grave and you say,
6:43
SPEAKER_01: I'm going to change now.
6:44
SPEAKER_01: I am going to be focused on
6:45
SPEAKER_01: The Big Picture
7:04
So what does that say about somebody like you who has made an
7:09
incredible living and
7:11
SPEAKER_02: found a way to use humor to relate to millions of other humans?
7:15
SPEAKER_02: Or me,
7:16
SPEAKER_02: who is striving at a much,
7:17
much lower level in the basement of smoky comedy clubs in front
7:22
of eight or nine
7:23
SPEAKER_02: people at a time.
7:25
SPEAKER_02: What does it say about our pursuit of humor as a survival instinct?
7:32
SPEAKER_01: First of all, do they really let you smoke in comedy clubs these days?
7:38
SPEAKER_02: No.
7:38
SPEAKER_02: Good.
7:39
SPEAKER_01: There are some vapors in the back, though.
7:41
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
7:41
SPEAKER_01: If you're in a smoky comedy club, you should sue somebody.
7:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
7:47
SPEAKER_01: I forgot the question now.
7:49
SPEAKER_02: Well,
7:49
SPEAKER_02: I'm just saying,
7:51
SPEAKER_02: if it's an adaptive behavior to help deal with,
7:54
SPEAKER_02: like,
7:54
SPEAKER_02: what does that say about guys like us that chase that comedy?
8:01
SPEAKER_02: There's something funny out there.
8:03
SPEAKER_01: Well,
8:03
SPEAKER_01: I've always felt really lucky because,
8:07
SPEAKER_01: like,
8:08
SPEAKER_01: I don't know about you,
8:09
SPEAKER_01: but I assume when you were young,
8:10
SPEAKER_01: you liked to make your friends laugh.
8:12
SPEAKER_01: That was you.
8:12
SPEAKER_01: You were the guy who could do that.
8:15
SPEAKER_01: And you get told,
8:16
SPEAKER_01: well,
8:16
SPEAKER_01: yeah,
8:16
SPEAKER_01: that's okay,
8:17
SPEAKER_01: but you can't joke your way through life or whatever.
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And then it turns out you discover,
8:22
some of us,
8:22
that you can joke your way through life.
8:24
SPEAKER_01: That's what we do.
8:25
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01: And I think what it doesn't say if what you're driving at is,
8:31
does it say that we have some compelling need to explain things
8:35
and find the humor
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SPEAKER_01: in every situation to help our fellow man or whatever?
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SPEAKER_01: Nah, it's really just that I don't have any other useful skill.
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SPEAKER_01: It's really what I do because that's what I've always done it.
8:49
SPEAKER_01: And like,
8:51
you know over time over a variety of jobs kept ending up
8:56
pointing always toward
8:57
well how can I turn this into a gig where I'm making people
8:59
laugh that's really
9:00
what I want to do but it's very self-indulgent in my case I
9:05
don't know about you
9:05
maybe you're making the world a better place to live I question
9:09
like is it does it
9:10
SPEAKER_02: do any like I want to say I'm being of service perhaps that's just a
9:15
rationalization that I'm being self-indulgent yeah you're
9:18
really yeah we're really
9:20
SPEAKER_01: hoping
9:21
SPEAKER_01: Thank God for people like us, Paul, who is out here doing God's work.
9:27
SPEAKER_01: That's right.
9:28
SPEAKER_01: Making the world the best.
9:29
SPEAKER_01: No, I've told this many times people.
9:31
They'll say,
9:31
you know,
9:32
because you do get told if you do humor for a living.
9:37
SPEAKER_01: Well, it's a great thing because people need humor.
9:40
And people will sometimes say to me,
9:41
you know,
9:42
you really helped me when I was feeling down.
9:44
I read your book and I – or I connected with my dad and we
9:48
didn't get along.
9:48
But then we both liked this thing you wrote and we bonded over
9:51
that and it really helped us.
9:52
SPEAKER_01: And I was – I feel bad because I was going to say,
9:54
SPEAKER_01: well,
9:55
SPEAKER_01: the truth is if it actually made your life worse,
9:58
SPEAKER_01: I would still do this.
10:00
It's the only thing I know how to do that I think I can do
10:04
well,
10:05
you know,
10:05
so –
10:07
Cyrus D.
10:07
And folks,
10:08
if you're live in the chat,
10:09
write your comments,
10:10
write your questions.
10:11
SPEAKER_02: I'll pull out a few of them while we're doing this.
10:12
SPEAKER_02: Cyrus D.
10:13
SPEAKER_02: commented,
10:14
SPEAKER_02: my cat pushed my other cat into the bathtub last night,
10:17
SPEAKER_02: and I have to believe he thought it was funny.
10:19
SPEAKER_02: That's the best kind of humor.
10:22
SPEAKER_01: Cat humor.
10:24
SPEAKER_01: You have to record it, though, so that you can make a fortune.
10:29
SPEAKER_02: You got to monetize those cats.
10:31
SPEAKER_01: Monetize your cats, sir.
10:33
SPEAKER_02: The unmonetized, the unfilmed and shared joke is, it never happened.
10:38
SPEAKER_02: It didn't happen.
10:39
SPEAKER_01: But also, let's be honest, cats, really?
10:41
SPEAKER_01: Cats?
10:43
The evil spawn of Satan,
10:44
that's the animal you choose to,
10:47
I'm not a cat guy.
10:48
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
10:50
Okay,
10:50
question number two,
10:51
and of course these are sub-questions,
10:53
and this one is a two-parter.
10:55
SPEAKER_02: Question number two for Dave Barry,
10:57
SPEAKER_02: what do you think boomers,
10:58
SPEAKER_02: part A,
10:59
SPEAKER_02: what do you think boomers could learn from Gen Z?
11:01
SPEAKER_02: And part B, what would you like Gen Z to learn from baby boomers?
11:07
Oh man,
11:08
it's interesting you bring this up because I just had a house,
11:11
I am definitely a boomer.
11:13
SPEAKER_01: I'm like even at the old end of boomer.
11:16
And if you want to hear what about a boomer thinks and how a
11:18
boomer was raised,
11:19
SPEAKER_02: this is the story.
11:20
SPEAKER_02: Class Clown, his memoir came out last year.
11:22
SPEAKER_02: It's a great read.
11:23
SPEAKER_01: And I had a whole house full over the weekend of Gen Z.
11:27
SPEAKER_01: My daughter is 20...
11:29
six years old and she was down with like 10 of her friends they
11:34
were down here in
11:34
Miami most of them live in New York and so they're all around
11:38
all weekend long and
11:40
um what now the question is what what can we learn from them
11:44
what it's it's yeah
11:46
it's it's the the vector points both ways on this question wait
11:49
what what what
11:50
could what could the boomers learn from Gen Z besides how to
11:53
use your phone and
11:54
what could go gonna go straight to the most obvious joke in the
11:57
world there which
11:58
SPEAKER_01: is
12:00
SPEAKER_01: But I actually can operate my phone reasonably well,
12:04
SPEAKER_01: not by Gen Z standards,
12:06
SPEAKER_01: but reasonably well.
12:07
SPEAKER_01: But, like, what am I going to learn from Gen Z?
12:11
SPEAKER_01: Well,
12:11
SPEAKER_01: I think one thing,
12:12
SPEAKER_01: I will say this,
12:14
SPEAKER_01: and it's often used as a criticism of them,
12:17
SPEAKER_01: but there's some truth to it,
12:18
SPEAKER_01: I think.
12:18
SPEAKER_01: They're not, like, killing themselves.
12:22
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
12:24
SPEAKER_01: From a work perspective?
12:26
SPEAKER_01: From a work perspective.
12:27
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
12:28
SPEAKER_01: And I don't mean to generalize all of them or anything like that.
12:31
SPEAKER_01: I don't mean that.
12:32
SPEAKER_01: But I mean,
12:33
SPEAKER_01: when I was in my mid-20s,
12:35
I think most of us were kind of intense about whatever career
12:38
we were pursuing.
12:40
SPEAKER_01: I was at newspapers and I had friends who were like various other things.
12:44
SPEAKER_01: But they seem a little more chill about that.
12:48
And it could be because the boomers have so screwed up the
12:52
world that they realize
12:53
SPEAKER_01: there's absolutely no point in trying to.
12:56
to succeed so maybe it's just they're reacting to us but they
13:01
do seem to have a
13:02
little bit more like you know what we're gonna enjoy ourselves
13:05
um and we're gonna
13:07
order our things on our phones um and they it and I think maybe
13:13
like they're hyper
13:15
SPEAKER_01: aware of what each other they're like uh I like a group brain because of
13:22
you know this is not me this is my observation is well
13:25
documented because they're
13:26
SPEAKER_01: all on the same apps or whatever all the time yeah they all they all know
13:33
Where everyone else Physically where everyone is And mentally
13:36
where everyone is All
13:37
the time They live inside this group brain Which I don't know
13:42
if we could learn
13:42
something from that It's kind of interesting Like I have no
13:45
idea Zero What any of
13:47
my best friends are doing Or if even they're all still alive
13:51
You know At any
13:52
SPEAKER_01: In any given moment,
13:54
I could discover that somebody I thought was one of my best
13:56
friends died about a
13:58
SPEAKER_01: month ago.
13:58
SPEAKER_01: And I would not have,
13:59
SPEAKER_01: you know,
14:00
SPEAKER_01: necessarily have picked up on that because we're just not that way,
14:05
SPEAKER_01: my generation,
14:06
SPEAKER_01: especially men in my generation.
14:09
SPEAKER_01: So maybe we could learn to be a little more connected.
14:12
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
14:12
It doesn't seem,
14:13
it's not really exciting to me to become more connected,
14:17
but...
14:19
SPEAKER_02: Remembering who's alive and who's dead is just,
14:21
there's a lot of data that your brain has to keep up with as
14:24
you get older.
14:25
And,
14:25
you know,
14:26
I'm at the point where I can't remember if my friend's parents
14:29
are alive or dead.
14:30
SPEAKER_01: Oh, they're definitely dead.
14:32
SPEAKER_01: I'm just going to, I hate to be the one to break it to you.
14:35
SPEAKER_01: All your friend's parents are dead and you didn't even send a card.
14:38
SPEAKER_01: I try.
14:40
SPEAKER_01: I try.
14:41
SPEAKER_02: I text it.
14:42
SPEAKER_02: I text it.
14:43
SPEAKER_02: All right, question three.
14:44
SPEAKER_02: You are, speaking of death, you are allegedly 78 years old.
14:49
SPEAKER_02: What are the top three amenities you are looking for in a nursing home?
14:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
14:56
SPEAKER_01: And have you discussed it with your children yet?
14:59
SPEAKER_01: I have not.
15:00
Okay,
15:00
number one would be there can be no other residents of this
15:03
nursing home.
15:06
SPEAKER_01: Are you sitting in that nursing home right now?
15:09
SPEAKER_01: No, I'm not.
15:10
SPEAKER_01: But I'm basing this on the last time I went to a class reunion,
15:14
SPEAKER_01: Westonville High School class of 1965.
15:17
And the last thing you want to see when you're my age is people
15:20
who are your age.
15:23
They're all the walking dead and it's very depressing to think,
15:27
oh my god,
15:27
that's her.
15:28
SPEAKER_01: She was hot in high school.
15:29
SPEAKER_01: And now she's pulling an oxygen tank.
15:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
15:36
SPEAKER_01: So I don't want to have any other residents in my nursing home.
15:40
SPEAKER_01: And there should be somebody who can make a decent vodka gimlet there.
15:43
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
15:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
15:45
Really important to me Not the kind where they just pour a mix
15:49
I mean the kind they
15:50
shake it with a shaker I want to see the shaker when I go to
15:55
the nursing home
15:55
SPEAKER_01: That's the first thing I want to see Where's the shaker?
15:58
SPEAKER_01: Do you have a shaker?
15:59
SPEAKER_01: And if they don't,
16:00
SPEAKER_01: forget it They're not getting my business So no residence,
16:04
SPEAKER_01: good vodka gimlet Those are the two main things I'm looking for
16:10
Instagram is serving me a lot of videos from the villages where
16:15
the bustier
16:16
residents are dancing to some Guns N' Roses songs and clearly
16:20
I'm over 55 now
16:22
SPEAKER_02: because they're targeting me with real estate opportunities.
16:25
I actually I did a book called Best State Ever about the state
16:28
of Florida maybe
16:30
five six years ago and I went to the villages and I spent I
16:35
don't know four or five
16:36
days there and I it was fascinating really fascinating yeah and
16:43
the line dancing is
16:44
SPEAKER_01: one of the I have never seen
16:48
SPEAKER_01: People more dedicated to lime dancing than the people of the villages.
16:51
SPEAKER_01: And I mean,
16:52
SPEAKER_01: like,
16:52
SPEAKER_01: they'll be like,
16:53
SPEAKER_01: they'll be,
16:54
SPEAKER_01: they do this like in huge groups of,
16:57
SPEAKER_01: and they're all,
16:57
SPEAKER_01: they all know all these steps.
17:00
SPEAKER_01: And like,
17:01
SPEAKER_01: I'm sitting there drinking a beer watching this,
17:03
SPEAKER_01: and they're playing like country song,
17:05
SPEAKER_01: country song,
17:05
SPEAKER_01: country song,
17:06
SPEAKER_01: country,
17:06
SPEAKER_01: and they all have these,
17:07
SPEAKER_01: and then they would play a song like,
17:08
SPEAKER_01: at last,
17:11
SPEAKER_01: my man has come along.
17:13
And I think,
17:13
okay,
17:13
finally,
17:14
they're gonna like,
17:15
you know,
17:16
romantically dance,
17:17
you know?
17:18
And they line danced To at last my man has come along Those
17:23
people are dedicated to
17:24
line dancing Is what I'm saying You gotta know your strengths
17:29
Jimmy Buffett has
17:30
SPEAKER_02: those The company that he founded Or co-founded Has those Margaritaville
17:35
destinations And I remember in the 70s He talked about where is
17:38
Margaritaville He
17:39
said it's at the bottom of a Cuervo bottle I'm like do they
17:42
remember That's where
17:45
SPEAKER_02: it came from
17:46
SPEAKER_01: No, they don't.
17:47
SPEAKER_01: I think they think it's, you know, in some mall somewhere now.
17:53
SPEAKER_02: Patty L says The Remainders would be a hit in The Villages.
17:55
SPEAKER_02: So that would be your rock band, The Rock Bottom Remainders.
17:59
SPEAKER_01: I'm in a band of authors, The Rock Bottom Remainders.
18:02
And we actually just,
18:03
we played in Omaha,
18:05
which is our target demographic.
18:10
Our library,
18:11
they opened their library,
18:13
a new library,
18:14
and the remainders play there.
18:17
SPEAKER_01: But we still suck is the problem.
18:19
SPEAKER_01: We're a terrible band.
18:20
SPEAKER_01: Our genre is hard-listening music, I'd like to say.
18:29
SPEAKER_01: And our problem is we don't practice ahead of time.
18:31
Other bands,
18:32
this is like what we've been told,
18:34
other bands practice the songs ahead of time.
18:37
SPEAKER_01: But you guys are all over the world.
18:38
SPEAKER_01: You're spread all over the world.
18:39
SPEAKER_01: We didn't have time for that.
18:40
SPEAKER_01: So we get together,
18:41
SPEAKER_01: we play,
18:41
SPEAKER_01: and then we go afterward,
18:43
SPEAKER_01: we go,
18:43
SPEAKER_01: we should have practiced some of those songs.
18:46
SPEAKER_01: Too late then.
18:47
But I don't think we would be a hit at the Villages,
18:50
and I'll tell you why.
18:51
SPEAKER_01: Because the other thing that I saw when I was at the Villages,
18:54
SPEAKER_01: besides the line dancers,
18:56
SPEAKER_01: was a band.
18:58
SPEAKER_01: And it was...
18:59
a good oldies band rock and roll way way better than the
19:03
remainders and I think
19:05
that unless they really thought it was exciting to watch
19:07
Stephen King attempting to
19:09
form an F sharp minor chord and not not being able to actually
19:13
do it that if that
19:15
really brought them joy and happiness they would like the
19:19
remainders because that's
19:20
SPEAKER_01: kind of what it is is us standing up there trying to
19:22
you know remember the the chords and people go look there's
19:25
there's Dave Barry and
19:26
Steve Stephen King yeah yeah that only goes so far Paul it's
19:32
like at some point
19:34
suck exactly at some point you go but on the other hand the
19:38
music they're making is
19:40
SPEAKER_01: terrible so uh we generally rely on
19:44
groups like the library group that we,
19:47
which,
19:47
by the way,
19:48
had an open bar.
19:49
SPEAKER_01: So that was the other key.
19:51
SPEAKER_02: There you go.
19:52
SPEAKER_02: I'm seeing a theme between libraries and nursing homes here.
19:55
SPEAKER_01: They knew that they,
19:56
the people at this Omaha library knew that we were not getting
19:59
paid any money
20:02
SPEAKER_01: And there was a bar So we had things working in our favor Hey,
20:06
they're authors They're doing their best They're not getting
20:08
paid That's the kind
20:09
of situation we want to be in At the Villages I think people
20:12
might be Have a little
20:13
bit higher musical standards And maybe not Would not be our
20:19
ideal audience I think
20:20
there's a lot of 80s rock tribute bands That rock the Villages
20:24
Maybe 70s The yacht
20:26
SPEAKER_02: rock thing is made for the Villages Yeah
20:29
SPEAKER_02: All right, I've got a question.
20:31
SPEAKER_02: Sorry, go ahead.
20:32
No,
20:32
I was just going to say,
20:33
are those bands made up of lawyers or dentists or doctors?
20:37
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
20:37
SPEAKER_02: They're all over the place.
20:39
SPEAKER_01: This is something the boomers have done, and it's unforgivable.
20:42
We go to Guitar City or whatever and buy $20,000 worth of
20:50
special effects boxes and
20:52
SPEAKER_01: everything,
20:52
SPEAKER_01: and then we...
20:54
We think we're We can play And we You know We really We're not
20:57
that good They're
20:59
They're better than the Remainers But not that good You know
21:01
Anyway I'm sorry Go
21:02
ahead No I was gonna So my friend Pete Fennessy Who worked at
21:07
Oh it's Pete Finney
21:08
Jr Not Pete Fennessy Pete Fennessy But Pete Finney Jr Asks a
21:12
question In line with
21:13
SPEAKER_02: What I'm gonna ask
21:15
Which is the question that Stephen King asked you basically,
21:18
where do you get your material?
21:19
But I'm going to turn this into the obligatory writing process
21:23
joke for my comedian friends.
21:25
How do I continue to write material that is on brand but
21:29
authentic and new?
21:30
SPEAKER_02: You did it for, you've done it for what, 50 years now?
21:34
Yeah,
21:35
there's,
21:35
boy,
21:36
there is no good answer to that question,
21:39
as you know.
21:40
SPEAKER_01: That's the,
21:42
SPEAKER_01: I mean,
21:42
SPEAKER_01: like,
21:42
the ideal thing is when you develop something that works and
21:46
then you keep finding
21:46
SPEAKER_01: new people to do it in front of and,
21:49
SPEAKER_01: you know,
21:49
SPEAKER_01: they never heard you before and you know you're doing it.
21:52
SPEAKER_01: Yep Yep
22:08
That would be so great for me because if my audience could
22:11
forget what I'd just
22:12
SPEAKER_01: written,
22:13
SPEAKER_01: then I could write it again.
22:14
SPEAKER_01: So I have to write a new thing.
22:17
SPEAKER_01: In fact,
22:18
SPEAKER_01: just before this interview,
22:19
SPEAKER_01: I was trying to write a new thing and thinking,
22:21
SPEAKER_01: I have nothing left.
22:22
SPEAKER_01: I'm done.
22:23
SPEAKER_01: It's over.
22:24
SPEAKER_01: I suck.
22:25
SPEAKER_01: But I think that like every week, that's my process.
22:28
SPEAKER_01: I suck.
22:28
SPEAKER_01: I can't do this anymore.
22:30
SPEAKER_01: And then I remember, well, if I don't do this, what am I going to do?
22:34
SPEAKER_01: So I keep going.
22:36
SPEAKER_02: That answered another question that someone asked,
22:39
SPEAKER_02: what would you do if you couldn't write anymore?
22:42
SPEAKER_01: Well, I'd become a male underwear model.
22:44
SPEAKER_01: I think that's pretty obvious.
22:45
SPEAKER_01: I think the market for that is growing.
22:48
SPEAKER_01: The offers have been on the table long enough.
22:51
SPEAKER_01: Sooner or later, I'm going to just pivot to that.
22:55
SPEAKER_02: All right,
22:55
SPEAKER_02: question number five,
22:57
SPEAKER_02: and I'll ask another,
22:58
SPEAKER_02: if we have time afterwards,
22:59
SPEAKER_02: I'll get you out.
23:00
SPEAKER_02: As I promised you,
23:00
this would be brief to save you from the full hour of podcast
23:04
interviews that all
23:05
SPEAKER_02: authors are beholden to these days.
23:08
SPEAKER_02: We talked about this a little bit in the pre-show.
23:11
SPEAKER_02: Dave, my son is a sophomore in high school.
23:14
SPEAKER_02: My daughter is a freshman.
23:15
As I wade into the college application process with them on
23:19
their behalf as their
23:21
SPEAKER_02: guide and financier,
23:23
SPEAKER_02: what advice would you give me for this next few years?
23:27
First of all,
23:28
none of the advice that I give you,
23:29
you will take none of it.
23:30
SPEAKER_01: Everything I'm about to tell you is true and you will not do any of it.
23:35
There are certain basic things in life you learn and everybody
23:39
knows they're true
23:40
SPEAKER_01: and nobody ever does them.
23:41
SPEAKER_01: Like, for example, you don't
23:42
SPEAKER_01: That's the most
23:57
SPEAKER_01: That's an important rule of all.
23:58
SPEAKER_01: It really doesn't.
24:00
SPEAKER_01: At least, I don't think it does.
24:02
But you're going to do this thing where you're going to go out
24:05
and rent a car and
24:05
SPEAKER_01: drive all over the United States of America and visit 17 colleges,
24:09
SPEAKER_01: all of which are going to blur together into one mass college experience,
24:13
SPEAKER_01: and then your kid is going to pick one,
24:14
SPEAKER_01: and it's going to be great.
24:16
SPEAKER_01: You're going to skip all that and just go to one.
24:18
SPEAKER_01: That's one.
24:19
SPEAKER_01: The other thing is,
24:19
SPEAKER_01: while your child is in college,
24:22
SPEAKER_01: move to a different house and do not tell your child where that house is.
24:27
And that way,
24:28
when it's time for them to make their way into the world,
24:31
they will have to.
24:34
So if you don't have a home for them to come sleep in the
24:37
basement or the pool
24:38
SPEAKER_02: house,
24:39
SPEAKER_02: they've got to figure it out.
24:41
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
24:43
SPEAKER_02: All right.
24:44
SPEAKER_02: I like that.
24:45
SPEAKER_02: I like that.
24:45
SPEAKER_02: I'm not sure my wife is on the same page as me,
24:47
SPEAKER_02: but I'll send her your home phone number and you can talk her into it.
24:51
SPEAKER_01: You don't necessarily have to tell your wife about the new house either.
24:56
SPEAKER_01: Your little secret.
24:58
SPEAKER_01: If she wants to have them move back in with her, that's fine.
25:01
SPEAKER_01: Let her do that.
25:02
SPEAKER_02: All right.
25:02
David Paul writes,
25:04
what does Dave,
25:05
or sorry,
25:05
who does Dave Barry read when he wants to laugh?
25:10
SPEAKER_02: Oh, man.
25:11
SPEAKER_01: Well, there's a lot.
25:11
SPEAKER_01: Like David Sedaris has a new book out.
25:13
SPEAKER_01: Oh, hell yeah.
25:14
SPEAKER_01: Very funny, man.
25:16
SPEAKER_01: A lot of stuff online.
25:19
I mean,
25:20
it's gotten,
25:22
I mean,
25:22
I've gotten to be this just random scrolling guy
25:26
troll So I can't even tell you who they are But there's a lot
25:29
of funny people You
25:30
SPEAKER_01: know,
25:30
SPEAKER_01: they're out there When you say random scrolling What are you scrolling?
25:34
SPEAKER_01: Are you on Instagram?
25:36
SPEAKER_01: Or what's your social media indulgence?
25:38
SPEAKER_01: Oh,
25:38
like Twitter I look at sometimes I look at Substack all the time
25:45
There's a lot of
25:45
funny people on Substack I don't know I'm not giving you a good
25:50
answer No,
25:51
SPEAKER_01: it's But
25:54
SPEAKER_01: You know,
25:55
SPEAKER_01: I also,
25:56
SPEAKER_01: like,
25:58
SPEAKER_01: I think,
25:58
SPEAKER_01: you know,
25:59
SPEAKER_01: like,
25:59
SPEAKER_01: a lot of really brilliant writing went to television,
26:02
SPEAKER_01: like,
26:02
SPEAKER_01: in the last 20 years,
26:03
SPEAKER_01: and you can just slowly go back and catch up on it and,
26:07
SPEAKER_01: like,
26:07
SPEAKER_01: rediscover.
26:08
This is,
26:09
like,
26:10
I'm pulling this out of the blue,
26:11
but,
26:11
like,
26:13
the show Veep.
26:15
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
26:15
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
26:16
SPEAKER_01: I thought it was one of the most brilliantly written shows ever, like,
26:21
And like once every three years I'll go back and watch all the
26:25
feet Just because
26:26
it's brilliant And I'm sure there's like way more than that out
26:30
there But I don't
26:31
know Right now I sometimes feel like I'm too busy trying to
26:34
write My own stuff to
26:35
be reading anybody else's stuff Because also when you do that
26:38
you think Well I'm
26:39
SPEAKER_01: not as funny as this person You know that feeling
26:42
Yeah sometimes and I wrote this thing I'll plug myself if you
26:46
want to read somebody
26:46
who thinks he's funny I qualify on that level Well of course
26:50
Paul you I mean it
26:52
goes without saying you I appreciate that I wrote this thing
26:55
this morning about
26:56
we're in the market for outdoor furniture and it's absurd to me
26:58
that it comes in
26:59
SPEAKER_02: two flavors
27:00
either you know absurdly expensive or flammable right and oh
27:05
wait I saw this you
27:06
you showed what um what happens to furniture in New York City
27:10
in the winter and
27:10
it's just yeah there's three feet of snow on snow yeah that was
27:15
funny paul and I
27:16
was like what would Dave Barry how it's like the everyday stuff
27:20
like that that you
27:20
just go oh this is driving me crazy there's a reason why and if
27:23
it frustrates me
27:24
then a whole lot of other people must be frustrated by this
27:26
kind of thing as well
27:28
SPEAKER_01: So reading you,
27:29
SPEAKER_02: having you on the brain was like,
27:30
SPEAKER_02: why don't you write,
27:31
SPEAKER_02: like,
27:31
SPEAKER_02: just copy him,
27:33
SPEAKER_02: for God's sake.
27:36
SPEAKER_02: All right, one last question.
27:37
SPEAKER_02: For one minute,
27:38
SPEAKER_02: tell me,
27:38
SPEAKER_02: what are your thoughts on AI,
27:40
SPEAKER_02: both from a societal and from a creative standpoint?
27:44
SPEAKER_01: I mean, from a societal standpoint, everybody says we're doomed.
27:49
SPEAKER_01: So I guess we're doomed.
27:52
SPEAKER_01: From a creative standpoint, like, it is...
27:56
SPEAKER_01: I use it to do two things.
27:58
SPEAKER_01: I use it to look stuff up,
28:00
SPEAKER_01: you know,
28:00
SPEAKER_01: and I realize that sometimes it's wrong,
28:02
SPEAKER_01: but it's just faster.
28:03
AI is better at understanding what it is you're asking for than
28:06
Google use it to be
28:07
SPEAKER_01: where you would just put in the wrong search terms again.
28:09
SPEAKER_01: So I like it for that.
28:10
SPEAKER_01: And I use it to create illustrations because I write a Substack and,
28:15
SPEAKER_01: you know,
28:15
SPEAKER_01: I think,
28:16
SPEAKER_01: well,
28:16
SPEAKER_01: I want to have an octopus playing ping pong.
28:19
SPEAKER_01: It would...
28:20
Right Yes it can And all it takes is It just drains a small
28:26
pond in Nebraska Every
28:28
time you do that But it's great Well hell Nebraska Who cares
28:32
Anyway I already You
28:35
SPEAKER_01: know We already played Nebraska Right Right
28:38
SPEAKER_01: But what it doesn't do and what I don't use it for,
28:42
SPEAKER_01: and I think this is for,
28:44
SPEAKER_01: like,
28:45
SPEAKER_01: for what you and I do,
28:46
SPEAKER_01: a scarier thing,
28:47
SPEAKER_01: is people who start to use it as a creative crutch,
28:49
SPEAKER_01: and it really isn't that good at that.
28:52
SPEAKER_01: It's not really—it's terrible at humor so far.
28:55
SPEAKER_01: Thank God.
28:56
SPEAKER_01: I'm really happy to know that.
28:57
SPEAKER_01: I mean,
28:58
SPEAKER_01: it produces the most predictable possible humor,
29:01
SPEAKER_01: which is not that—it's never good humor.
29:03
SPEAKER_01: And—
29:05
SPEAKER_01: But I do see that people say,
29:08
SPEAKER_01: well,
29:08
SPEAKER_01: I needed five ideas for X,
29:10
SPEAKER_01: so I went to AI and I cranked them out.
29:12
SPEAKER_01: But you're killing a part of your brain when you do that, I think.
29:17
SPEAKER_01: And so I think it's worrisome for people who want to be creative.
29:23
SPEAKER_01: I think it's already kind of destroyed kids' college ability to
29:29
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
29:53
SPEAKER_02: All right.
29:53
SPEAKER_02: I promised you'd be out of here at 4.30.
29:55
SPEAKER_02: It's 4.31.
29:56
SPEAKER_02: Dave, it's so great to talk to you.
29:58
SPEAKER_02: Thanks for all your work.
29:59
SPEAKER_02: Thank you for everybody who chimed in.
30:01
SPEAKER_02: Go on Dave's page or my page.
30:02
SPEAKER_02: Follow us and add your comments.
30:05
SPEAKER_02: This will be up as a new file either tonight or tomorrow.
30:10
SPEAKER_02: So go back and watch in the beginning.
30:11
SPEAKER_02: Add your comments.
30:12
SPEAKER_02: Share with your friends.
30:13
SPEAKER_02: Thanks a bunch, man.
30:15
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
30:15
SPEAKER_02: Thanks, Paul.
30:16
SPEAKER_00: Appreciate it.
30:17
SPEAKER_00: All right.
30:18
SPEAKER_00: We'll see you around.
30:19
SPEAKER_00: Thanks, everybody.