Latest / I Do, Part 2 / How Ambyr Childers Learned To Love The Mistress Who Broke Up Her Marriage

Transcript

How Ambyr Childers Learned To Love The Mistress Who Broke Up Her Marriage · I Do, Part 2

• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Hey, guys, welcome back to I Do Part two. It's
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: your celebrity mentor show Burke, and today I'm sitting down
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: with an amazing woman who I actually recently met when
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: we were all up in my hometown of San Francisco
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: for a fun girls night out event. She's the co
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: host of the podcast An Unlikely Affair with her ex
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: husband's ex fiance let me say that again, with her
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: ex husband's ex fiance. So yeah, we're going to talk
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: all about it. And you also know her, of course
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: from her roles in Ray Donovan and the Netflix show You.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: She's in her chapter two just like the rest of us.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: It's Amber Childers.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: Hi, how are you?
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: How are you good?
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: You look still pretty?
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: Thank you? Okay. So, I have been on a binge
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: listening to your podcast with Lalla and Unlikely Affair, and
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: it's just captivating. It is relatable, it's emotional, it's honest,
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: and I appreciate your candor really with everything, and it's
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: so helpful for just I'm sure everyone can relate to
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: a little bit of your guys story, you know. So,
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: do you want to tell my audience what it is
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: and how it came about? Your podcast?
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean, I'll make it as short as possible
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: because it's a very long story.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: But I.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: Was married, two kids, figured out that there was an
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: affair going on, kind of didn't say anything. This is
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: not like my first rodeo with this kind of situation.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: So I was a little unsure because you know, I
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: was just you get smart, and I think any for
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: anyone out there that has been through through this, you
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: have this instinct, especially when you become a mother, it
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: gets a little bit stronger. And so I just set
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: back and it all happened, and it all came out,
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: and it was all being played on vander Pump Rules.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: And at the time I didn't watch vander Pump. Well
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: I still don't watch vander Pump, so I actually have all. Yeah,
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: I had just seen like little clips and then next thing,
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: you know, my marriage, you know, imploded and they're together
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: and Lala and I obviously did not get along. I
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: was devastated and heartbroken and very confused, and you know,
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: probably in a lot of self pity, like how come
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: he didn't love me? And you know, you try to
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: be the perfect wife, you try to be the perfect
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: mother you you know you have how can someone blow
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: up such a beautiful life. Our kids were healthy, you know,
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: like it was very I was very confused, and I
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: was really lost, and I had hit rock bottom. I
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: think for me, that was like one of I think
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: we have a few rock bottoms in life, and that
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: was probably my first big one where I'll never forget.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: I literally could not eat, and I don't understand. I
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: love food, and I'm like, how can anyone not eat?
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: Like they're so sick they can't eat. And that was
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: the first time where I had my sister and my
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: ex mother in law actually out in LA at the time,
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: and they were making me drink ensure because I had lost,
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: Like I mean, any catastrophic thing in life, you drop
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: weight obviously very quickly, and next thing, you know, I,
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: you know, just doing the best I can to move on.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: I get into another relationship very quickly because I don't
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: know up from down, and I'm just like running into
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: another man's arms. Going anything looked better than what I had.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: Trying to co parent was a disaster. Dealing with Lala
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: at the time was a disaster, and we were told
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: a very different story to one another. And then somewhere
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: along the way, I really try to make an effort like, Okay,
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: now they're engaged, they're gonna get married. I need just
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: to find a way to forgive and move past or
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: if I'm not going to forgive, if I choose not
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: to forgive, then I just need to move forward, right,
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: We don't need to get stuck. And I just kept
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: hearing like, you're drinking poison expecting the other person to
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: die and it's not happening. So I kind of surrendered
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: to that. And Lala and I had attempted a few
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: times to become friends. We definitely weren't in the place
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: to actually like make that happen. I appreciate us really,
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: you know, trying. And then ultimately that relationship ended very quickly,
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: and I'll never forget. I always told them, I said,
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: you got away with me, like meaning I let you
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: go in a very quiet, it like fine kind of way.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: If you cheat on her, if you mess with her,
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: if she will come for the jugular. And that's exactly
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: what she did, and it is what it is. And
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: so over time, I got a phone call randomly one
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: day when I was at home and she had called
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: to make amends. And I think it was a moment
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: that I had. I had been waiting for for a
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: long time from her. I never really expected that I
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: was going to get one, so I was a little
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: shocked when she did call. And then from there we
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: just decided to start repairing the relationship. I had my
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: two girls, she had ocean, and we knew we were
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: going to be in each other's lives, and it's like,
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: let's just start fresh. And I'm so grateful that she
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: had the courage and the strength to make that call
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: because I wasn't making it right right. I had attempted
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: so many times to to be friendly with her, to
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: be cordial with her. You know, we we had you know, birthdays.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: It's just like the classic like you know, everyone's trying
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: to get along for the kids and sometimes personalities they
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: just clashed at the at the time.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: Right, And what did that repair, I guess look like
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: because first of all, you guys were not friends prior
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: to this love.
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: Triangle, right, no.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: At all, So you guys you had no idea of
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: each other. And then well, I just want to take
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: it back just really quick. How did you find out
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: so mainly through social media? Wow?
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: Okay, you know I'm a little investigator. I should have
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: been in the FBI or the same. This girl c like,
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: it is my dream to go undercover, and if I
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: can't do it in my personal life, then I'm going
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: to find that role where I could go uncover and
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: like really just dig my teeth into a good, juicy
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: role with you. You you just know again like back
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: to your instincts, has had this feeling. I would, you know,
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: he was going on a work trip. I would see
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: who was kind of like in Miami at the time,
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: and I just I just caught on very quickly. I
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: knew he had mentioned her before, right, he was friends
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: with her. She was interested in doing film and television.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: It's a classic like Hollywood bullshit story of the producer
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: and the actress and the you know, it's like it's
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: like such a classic tale. Yeah, and and so I
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: just sat with it because I didn't know exactly how
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: I wanted to approach it. I needed to get smart,
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: and it was really hard because I had two young kids.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: But he was also gone a lot. He was he
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: was always filming a movie and somewhere you know, so
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: he says, right, right, right, he was just like always working,
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: and you know what, I was just like, okay, Like
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: I was busy trying to manage two very small kids,
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: a house, trying to figure out how am I going
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: to work and have a career as an actor, And
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: so I didn't really I didn't bother me that he
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: was gone so much. You know, the house was very peaceful.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: Right, Oh right, I'm sure. Well when you found out
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: did that? Were you you just that was it? Or
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: did you want to work on the marriage? Like? Were
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: you willing to give him another chance or the marriage
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: another chance? You know?
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: I had given him a lot of chances.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: So this wasn't the first time. It wasn't the first okay,
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: got it, got it.
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: I don't come from a divorce family, so for me,
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: divorce was not in my vocabulary at that time. I
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: didn't know how to operate. And there was a lot
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: of things that I wasn't sharing with my family. There
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: was a lot of shame, There was a lot of guilt.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: I didn't want to have a failed marriage, and I
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: didn't want to I didn't want to bring my family up,
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: you know. And I get emotional when I think about
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: it because I think about my kids, and you stay
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: for the kids, right, And I think a lot of
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: people in this position can probably relate. You know, you
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: try to fight because you want to. You want to
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: make your family work, you want to make the marriage work.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: You want someone to love you so bad, But sometimes
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: love is not enough, right. You can't make someone stop
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: cheating on you, you can't make someone choose you. And
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: so I decided to choose myself. I decided that I
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: needed to leave to you know, try to co parent
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: with this person in two separate homes. And that's exactly
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: what I told my kids, is that, you know, sometimes
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: two homes are better than one, and that is the truth.
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: Some people get together and it's you know, I know
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: that I was meant to be with my ex husband
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: to have my two daughters, and that's it. And I
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: and I really have to trust that the universe has
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: my back. I don't regret anything. I don't regret marrying him.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: I don't regret any decision that or experience that we
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: had together because it's shaped me into the woman that
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: I am today.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: So thank you for sharing your story. It's so relatable.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: Even though I don't have kids, I can relate to
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: parts of your story for sure, And man, it's hard.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: And then did the dating life now it must be uh.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: I don't know what it is like for you, but
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: for me, it's just non existent. I find it a
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: lot more peaceful this way for now.
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: My goodness, dating is tough. We live it is. It
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: is tough. I literally just posted.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: I can't even try. It's so overwhelming, like I just
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: I don't know when you're ready.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: You'll go out there and you'll do it, and I'll
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: give you some tips, and yes, you have.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: To leave your I can't somebody here in my closet,
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: like it would be so much easier.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: No, Prince Charming is not knocking at your door. Let
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: me tell you that Welling Disney sold us a you
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: know a lot of and we believed it as other girls.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: And guess what, it's not the world that we're living in.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: Mine was the notebook that was such a bullsh like
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: everything is not that's not real love people.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: I tell Nick Cassavetti's who directed that movie, huge fan
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: of him. I said, you really fucked up. A lot
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: of women are young girls that are now women. Right.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, my therapist told me because we were like
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: analyzing it and she's like, if you think about that movie,
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: Ryan Gosling is stalking whatever. I forgot a named Rachel Bcgadams,
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, yeah, you're right, actually, but we find
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: that like I found that so like sexy. I don't
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: know it was, but it wasn't It wasn't healthy, Like
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: that's not normal, right, A guy's like stalking her quite
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: literally beginning or towards the middle of the movie.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we women women like the chase, you know. I
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: think we have this animalistic thing is we want there's
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: some days where I'm like, yes, I want to be
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: hunted as a woman.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: Throw me across the room.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I do not want to do the hunting, okay,
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: ye at all, Like I just want to sit here
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: and I will you know. Yeah, But it's it's a
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: it's a different landscape for sure. And I actually try
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: to explain that to my parents all the time. And
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: I remember last year at some point I was at
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: home in Nebraska visiting my parents and I was like, mom,
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: let me show you what it's like. Because my mom
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: and dad met in high school. Whoa my mom was
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: I think barely in ninth grade. My dad was a junior.
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: There were like four years apart, and they've been together
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: since what, Yeah, it's like I think so, I mean, definitely, Listen,
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: all marriages have their thing, but they're still together and
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: I think they're you know, they they have a beautiful relationship,
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: and I think that's very rare that that happens. But
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: I said to my mom, I said, let me show you.
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: So I laid in bed with my little sister on
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: one side and my mom on the other, and we
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: were swiping on one of the dating apps and my
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: mom's like, oh, I said, see, Like, now you know.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: I've never done a dating app. I refuse. I don't
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: even know what it's lighting. Yeah, it's interesting. Back to you. Okay,
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: So let's talk about co parenting. What is that? What
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: has that been like? And what advice do you have
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: for people who are going through it at the moment?
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: Oh boy, co parenting can be challenging. Listen, it doesn't
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: matter if you have a really strong relationship with your
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: ex husband or ex wife. It's hard. It sucks. It's
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: not easy because I feel like kids, you know, marriage
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: is hard enough, and then you throw kids into the
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: mix and then makes it ten times harder. Because these
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: are things that I feel like people don't really discuss
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: prior to getting married, like, how do you want to
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: raise the kids? How what are your rules?
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: What you know?
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: I think Randy and I only said, like my kids.
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: He was like, my kids are gonna be Jewish and
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: I was like, okay, fine, Like that's it is what
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: it is. I'm happy with that. And it can be
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: extremely challenging at times, but I think you can finally,
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: like after some rough patches, we have gotten to a
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: place where he really just defers to me. I know
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: what I'm you know, I know what I'm doing most
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: of the time, and some days. For some days I
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: don't know what I'm doing. It depends on the day.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: And like there's new And here's the thing with parenting
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: is like new things come up all the time. Like
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: right when you think you have everything in your house
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: like going smoothly and the kids are behaving, it's like, oh,
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: now this one is starting her period. Okay, Now this
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: one's really into this and she's looping. Okay, now this
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: one is like like looking at herself in the mirror,
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: grabbing her fat and like it's like with girls, because
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: this is this is the house full of women at
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: this point, you know, it's so back to co parenting.
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: You know, it is, it's hard, it's challenging, and I
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: really appreciate that Randy really defers to me. And I
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: think he now knows after many years of being together
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: that we try to meet in the middle.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: But.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: I always win. I try to win, of course, but you.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: Know, without rubbing it in his face.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, let's see you go without rubbing in
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: his face. But you know, my little one is obsessed
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: with her dad right now, obsessed like he is like
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: the Disneyland dad. She loves him so much. And I
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: always say, I love that you have that relationship with
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: your dad, because I really truly believe it's like this much.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: It changes. It comes in seasons and chapters, like one
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: minute she's into me, one minute the other one's not,
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: and it just is an ebb and flow, and parenting
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: is hard and we don't have all the answers, but
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: we do the best we can.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: Right. That says a lot about you because clearly there
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: was no bad mouthing of your ex. Then if you
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: know what I mean, like I think I've seen this.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: I come from a divorce family. My mom never bad
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: mouthed my father at all, though she could have big time.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: But I think it makes a difference, you know, when
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: the parent really I mean, I don't know. I'm just
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: assuming that that didn't happen, but I think that must
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: be difficult.
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: You know, it's hard, and that's what the gym is for,
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: and that's what's going you know for your friends are yeah,
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: the life coach and the therapist and your sisters and
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: you know your journal. Oh my god, my god, if
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: you could only see what's in my journal.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: No, we don't want anyone to see what's in your journal.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: That's for you and your eyes only.
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: I literally, like today I journaled when one of my
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: kids was getting ready for school, and after I was
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: don't have a page, I just ripped it up and
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: I was like, okay, done. And that's what something is like. Really,
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: how often do you go back and read? I know
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: I don't, and I don't necessarily want to know. I
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: just feel like I have a lot of thoughts that
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: I need to get us fascinating.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: I mean, I did it like with manifesting, right Like,
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: I'll put it away for like a year and then
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: I'll look at it just to see if anything has
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: It's actually eye opening, but it's not I'm really shitty
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: at journaling, Like the thing is handwriting for me sucks,
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: and that's probably because I don't do it often.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: Obviously, the more you journal, the better your handwriting is
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: going to get.
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: True. Well, then I should start. But with you and
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: laala you guys are like for sure bound to each
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: other now for forever. What was that? I mean? I
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: guess how do the kids do they get along? Because
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: I know there's a big age gap right between Laalas
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: and yours. What was all that like initially when it
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: first happened.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: Well, I love babies, so I don't care if this
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: is like my ex husband and the mistress has soon
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: to be wife's baby. I'm not even paying attention to you.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: I'm looking at this sweet innocent baby that is just so.
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: I just have this thing for babies. I'm just, oh,
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: I can't. I just love them so much. So when
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: Ocean was born, I was like, can I hold your
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: baby like I'm promised? Like I just I just wanted
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: to feel that. And that's London and Riley's sister. And
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: there's nothing more powerful than having sisters, right, good sisters,
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: sisters that support you and love you through it all
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: and I have. I'm the middle child. Obviously, I have
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: a younger sister and older sister, and it's the best
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: thing in the world. And so I really encouraged London
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: and Riley to be a good example, to set the example,
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: and and it naturally happened. I mean there's a mass
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: of age gap between London, who's sixteen, and Ocean. Now.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: Riley is in that age where she's really into First
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: of all, they get a kick out of Ocean. Ocean
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: is hysterical, I mean mad, Ocean will be five her
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: birthdays this month, and so they London or sorry, Riley
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: and Ocean have developed this beautiful relationship where it's just
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: pure love and it is so beautiful and I love it,
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: and I want them to have each other forever, right,
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: And I think it's our job as parents to really,
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: you know, especially when they're younger, to nurture those relationships.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: And I want London and Riley to see my love
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: for Ocean and Sosa too, because you know, everyone's in
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: the mix now, so this is a part of the crew,
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: and so it's a really beautiful thing to see Riley
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: just adoors Ocean.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: I love that because then she gets a younger sister,
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: you know, like that's that's beautiful. I come from a
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: divorce family, and I I had an older stepsister who
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: recently passed away, but and then my little half sister.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: So it's you know, it's a mixed family, and it
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: is really important. You're right to have sisters and to
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: have and to really truly you know, connect and not
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: take that relationship for granted because you just never know.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: Going back to you and Lala, did you guys get
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: along like when you made the decision okay, we're going
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: to try and work this out or become Was it
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: like right away? Was it instant friendship or was it
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: like I have to get to know you, I don't
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: trust you type thing? Was it like small steps?
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: I'll just speak for me. I don't know how long
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: it feels about this, but I you know, I think
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: trust was something I will say this. I think trust
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: was something hard for both of us initially and slowly,
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: and it was hard. It was a process, and it
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: took time. And when I was ready, she wasn't ready.
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: When she was ready, I wasn't ready, and and but
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: we just kept the door open, right and I would
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: call her and I would check on her and maybe
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: it was one of the girl's birthdays or the holidays
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: or whatever whatever it was. And then I think, because
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: of my sobriety, I would say really going through this
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: process of healing and really getting to know who Laala is, right,
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: not Lala on vander Pump because frankly, I don't know.
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: I know, I see a little bit of that, you know,
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: badass bitch, but I got to know a really beautiful,
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: softer side of Lala that is so beautiful, and I
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: really do love her, you know, like we've we've bonded
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: in a way, we have a we have a shared bond.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: Sorry I'm getting so emotional.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: It's fine, you're getting me emotional. I love it.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: We have a bond that I really appreciate and I
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: don't take it for granted. And I know how hard
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: both of us has worked to get to this place.
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: It was really difficult. It's not easy, and I want
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: people to know that when they're in this position, or
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: if they're in this position now and they're dealing with
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: a spouse or an ex, it's hard. But don't close
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: the door because you never know, right and it just
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: takes someone waking up going you know what, today, I'm
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: going to pick up the phone, or I'm going to
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: invite that person for coffee, or I'm going to call
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: and just send a text and say, hey, I know
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: we don't have the best relationship. I just want to
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: let you know I'm thinking about you, let me know
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: if you're open for a conversations.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: Like it's a lot harder to hate, I think than
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: to read peace. I believe.
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean it doesn't feel good.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: You know it doesn't. And ultimately it's you that feels
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: like that, no matter what, right, it's never you know,
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: you can't really control the person that you're feeling this with,
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: but that is just it takes up so much energy
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: inside of you when there's those resentment, those feelings of
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: resentment and just hate. It's just a nasty feeling.
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: It is and I don't like it and it's not
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: and you you know, we're evolving as women and human
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: and children. Children change us, and life changes us and
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: our experience. So it's just kind of always being open.
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: And you know, I'm a very spiritual person and I
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: would pray and I never knew what my higher power
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: had in store for me, but I was always open
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: and like I said, always kept that door open. So
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: eventually and I got to the place of we were like,
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: oh I like you. Oh I like you too. Wait
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: a second, wait what we were ever fighting about or
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: what was that? And it's like, now we have this
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: beautiful relationship. We go to San Francisco, we sleep in
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: the same bed and she's like, no, you're not sleeping
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: in another hotel room. You're sleeping right next to me.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: Are you cool with that? Actually, forget it? And then
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: it's like, of course I'm cool with that, Like this
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: is amazing. I would rather be sleeping next to you
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: than some you know, random dude. And so now we
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: have this like great, you know, I wake up and
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: I sometimes I text her, I'm like I love you,
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: and she's like, I love you. And then it was cute.
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: When I was there in La a couple of weeks ago,
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: we were driving back from doing our podcast together and
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: we were stuck on the four or five freeway and
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: she looks over at me and she goes, I love you.
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: And it made me. At first, I was like, God,
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: that feels so uncomfortable, like having that like really intimate
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: moment when you're stuck on the freeway and then I
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: was like, no, actually, that's amazing, and she's like, why
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: did you make that face? I was like, I got
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: uncomfortable for a second, but then I realized, like, I
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: freaking love you too, you know, and it was just
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: such a beautiful moment. So we have these funny moments together.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: Beautiful. Yeah, I love that. What qualities I guess do
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: you admire about La La? Because I think for some
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: people who watch vand of pump roles, they must have
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: this judgment on like what she's like. And I don't
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: know what it is. I mean, I like, you don't.
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: I've never really seen it before, so I don't know
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: her well. But I always thought I would always get
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: along with someone like her, you know, just because she
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: seems really cool and down to earth. But you tell me, you.
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: Know, the thought that just came through my mind when
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: you were saying that was if I was in high school,
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: she would be the girl that I would go kick
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: it with. I would be like, that was cool. Yeah,
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: she doesn't care what people think most of the time, right,
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: I don't want to say ever cares what people thinks about.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: But she's just her and she's unapologetically her and that
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: is freaking awesome.
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that is inspiring.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: It's inspiring, and she she's not afraid to call people out.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: And I also think that that's a gift. She's really fun,
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: but yet I know this vulnerable side to her that
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: I think that through the podcast, a lot of people
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: are getting to see the other side. And she's evolved, right.
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: We when you grow up on television, like she did,
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: you see all different types of you know, versions we
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: look at I don't know, Miley Cyrus or Britney Spears,
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: like the girls that we grew up with. It's like
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: you see or Christina Aguilera, like you see them go
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: through an array of different personalities and transform and at
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: bottom normal that's all of us. By the way, you
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: don't just have to be a celebrity to go through that.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: My next door neighbor goes through that, Like the person
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: across the street goes through that. And so unfortunately for them,
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: it's just it's really just displayed out there and there's
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: a lot of judgment. Well, it was just a lot
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: of fun.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she seems I mean she's smart obviously too.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: She's very intelligent, super smart, super smart girl business wise,
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: you know, she has a lot on her plate. She
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: takes care of her entire family. They live under one roof,
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: and she's doing it. She is, like you said, super inspiring.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: You would definitely like in back in high school, middle school,
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: she'd have your back, that's for sure, and she'd kick.
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: Some I'd be like, let's go after school, We're gonna
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: go get them.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: What do you think Laala has learned from you in
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: this since you guys have developed such a bond and friendship.
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, I don't know.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: I'm sure so much.
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: I'm at that. I feel like that is such a
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: question for her. I don't want to speak for her.
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, of course I get it. I understand. But do
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: you think you brought maybe some peace into like meditation?
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: Is she into meditation now? Like you? Have you influenced her?
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: I guess is a better question. And certain practices that
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: you that you believe in.
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: I mean I think something that I I think both
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: of us struggle with this thing. When something happens, whether
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: it's co parenting or career or a boy situation, a
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: friendship is situation. We go straight and we're like we
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: want to just like deal with the head on like
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: right now, like we can't.
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: We can't.
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: We just like we want to. We want to either
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: fix it or we want to, like, you know, crush
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: this person, or we're going to go get the attorney
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: because clearly our voice isn't being heard and it's it's
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: escalating to a level that's not okay. One of the
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: things that I think we both do for each other
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: is we're like, okay, let's just pause for a second,
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: Like we bring each other down from maybe when we
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: call each other out a ten, we go from ten
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: to like a four. And I think that's I think
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: that's something that I call her right away I'm crying.
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: She could tell right away when I'm like she needs to, like,
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: you know, this is important, or when she calls me
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: and I'm like, okay, do you know what, We're going
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: to pause. We're gonna pause. It's gonna stuck, and we're
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: gonna sit here and fill our feelings and then tomorrow
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: morning if you wake up. So I have a twenty
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: four hour twenty four hour rule. If I want to
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: send that email, if I want to send that text,
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: if I want to make a big decision and I
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: need to do it today, I say, guess what We're
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: going to give it twenty four hours, and if you
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: wake up tomorrow and you still feel the same way
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: that this issue or non issue, whatever it is is
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: feel that important to you and you feel still you
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: feel still the same way where you're like, I'm going
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: to send that email or I'm gonna send that text,
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: then that's your answer. Then you could do it. But
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: I think it's just learning to pause and let our
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: emotions like think more with the rational brain.
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: It's like, don't react, it's more responding. Is where I
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: think is. I'm like you guys, by the way, I
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: am like right away, it's so hard where.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: Women are hormonal, We're like, we're gonna like I'm also.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: An addict, so like I'm just like, you know, I
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: just get I'm almost addicted to that, Like no, I
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: need to get I need to do it now or
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: also never going to do it, But no one needs
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: to do anything now. No, it's not now, it's not now,
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: and it's not never. But it's somewhere. There's a gray area.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: Who knew?
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: Who knew that you could live life in the gray area.
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: I hate the gray area.
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: I always found it boring, but it's quite peaceful. It is.
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: It is so peaceful. And my sponsor tells me that
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: all the time. She's like, it's okay, you don't have
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: to know today, and I'm like, but no.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: I want to.
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: Does he love me?
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: I know, I know, because I mean a adrenaline is also.
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: A tictach right, yeah, the same with my career. Am
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: I going to get that job? And I mean, look,
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: I've been acting since I was eight years old. You
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: would think that I could just pause and wait and
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: it's like you just it's just something that is practiced.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: It takes practice to but it's also beautiful to have
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: that drive and that like determination because there's also people
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: who don't you know, that may just dilly dally a little.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: But switching gears? What's your dating life that look like? Today?
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: I am dating someone. I just sating someone.
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: So since San Francisco or were you already dating someone
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: in San Francisco?
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: No, it was the same guy. I mean we were
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: talking when we were in San Francisco. Great, great guy,
• 31:54
  Speaker 2: great guy from Cincinnati, Ohio, all of all places. I
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: joke with him all the time. I'm like, I am
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: not moving to Cincinnati, Ohio, just so you know.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: Is he moving to Montana.
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: Then he's like, have you been there? And I was like, no,
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: I have to.
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: Actually it's one of my partners, the Lache Brothers. They're
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: from Cincinnati. They they're great guys, so great go.
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think by the way, I think any I
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: think they breed a lot of amazing men, right, I
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: just tease with them. Listen, I'm, I'm. It's a very
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: playful thing that we have between each other. But you know,
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: I don't know. We'll see, we'll see where it goes
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: one day at a time. That's the program that I'm
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: a part of. And he's wonderful and he's very supportive
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: of me and being a mom and wow, yees so.
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: Far so it's very new ish. Yeah, yeah, okay, okay.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: And so was this through a dating app?
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: No, it wasn't. It wasn't. It was actually through a
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: mutual friend.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: See. See, there is help, people, there's help. Yeah. Isn't
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: that The best way to meet people though, is through
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: a friend because your friend knows you for the most part.
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so. I think there's a lot of
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: really interesting ways to meet people that we've kind of
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: forgotten about or that we've gotten away from. I know,
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: a lot of people that have met their guys on
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: dating apps and they're married and they're happy and it's wonderful. Yeah,
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: I think. I don't know if it works for everybody,
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: but I like the idea of, you know, meeting someone
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: when you walk into the grocery store or I don't know.
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: People people are like, oh, go to home home depot
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: and my gop love home depot.
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: See this is my problem. I literally don't leave my home.
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: That's probably why I have to. I mean I do,
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: I do if it's work related.
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: Right right. Well, they also say too, I've been reading
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: a lot of articles that like women and men, we
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: both have our earphones in all the time when we
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: go to the gym, when we go to the grocery store,
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: and that makes someone not approachable.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: True, I mean I do it because I have a
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: French bulldog who snores so loud that like, I'm just
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: I'm so used to these in my ears constantly. But
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: you're right, I have them on even when I'm not
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: home with my frenchie.
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, so I think. And I'm also okay with
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: being a woman and going up to guys and wow
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: and saying hi too. I know, it's not. That's not
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: for everyone. But you know, you go out to dinner,
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: you go to a bar, you you know, there's just
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: there's there's ways you need to get out.
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: Of the house.
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm trying to say.
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: Probably, I know, I know, I know you and my
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: therapist I know are both telling me this, and but
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: I just need someone to physically take me because I
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: just can't do it. I have just I don't know.
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: Maybe I don't want to go out alone. What is it,
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: Yes, always, I mean, yeah, for sure, I love going
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: out alone. I will go sit at the bar at
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: any restaurant, oh wow, and take myself out. I think
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: that's like really fun, like dating yourself. Yeah yeah, But
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: if you don't want to grab some girlfriends and go
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: go sit at a bar with a girlfriend. By the way,
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: you'll meet some really cool people. Here in Bozeman. I
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: go to this Italian restaurant, I said, at the bar
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: and I met this really cool chick and now I'm like,
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: we're in a book club together.
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: Nice. I love that. You just never know You're right, Okay,
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: I'll think about it. What are your thoughts on marriage again?
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: Would you ever do it again.
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so I say that, I'm like, ah,
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: I want to. I would like to get married again.
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: If it happens, great. I'm not one of those people
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: that want like the big wedding, and at least today,
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: I don't want that.
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: Did you have it already? Like, did you have a
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: big wedding?
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: I know we eloped Actually, oh okay, so we were
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: down on the beach and we eloped. So I've never
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: been in a white long dressed Yeah. I'm like, can
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: I just wear like, I don't know, workout outfit or
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: something like my gear? Can I wear my allow gear?
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: But if it's really important to my partner, I think
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: that's something that would be a decision that we would
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: make together. And if it was, it would be intimate.
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: If I had to pick, if someone's like, okay, you
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: have to get married, where would it be, I would
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: say in the mountains, like in the world where there's
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: nobody and it's just nature. You are, Yeah, where I
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: am and boson, I'm actually scoping out the area right
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: now for my for my future wedding. Yeah, I want
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: it to be just small and intimate. But again, like
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: you plan God laughs, So who right?
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: Right? Right, right, do you talk to your kids about
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: your dating life?
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: I mean my kids no, like they see.
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: Me go on dates stupid like they see it.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and and and I personally think it's really
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: important to show the girls what dating looks like as
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: a single woman. Like I think it's going to be
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: very hard for these kids, and I want them to
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: know what a man should do, Like this guy better
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: not be honking his horn when he pulls up to
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: take me out now in the first like for the
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: first few months, obviously, I go out and I meet them.
• 37:27
  Speaker 2: There's no one showing up my door. But of course
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: he's knocking on the door. He's you know what I mean,
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: just like you Yeah, just old school, right.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: It's not old school. It's not old school.
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: I know I say that, but it's not. It's just
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: it's just values that I think a lot of people
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: have gotten away from, or a lot of young men
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: haven't haven't learned. I think there definitely are. I mean,
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: the guy that I'm dating now is amazing, and he
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: goes above and beyond, and I'm just like, could you
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: not get any more amazing? You know, we go if
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: I'm driving my car, he'll open my car door first
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: and then put himself on you know in the passage. Yes,
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: like absolutely, that is amazing. So, yes, my kids know
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: that I'm dating, and obviously I want their opinion. I
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: really do want I want them to know, like mom,
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: because I think kids have great instincts like that guy's
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: not not dig I'm not having it, or you know,
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: you just watch kids sometimes after dating someone for a while,
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: interact with someone and you can tell right away. I
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: want to know that someone's good with my kids. I'm
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: not looking for another dad. I just want someone that
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: if they're going to be a part of my family
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: that I've created, that they're getting along with everybody.
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: Does he have kids?
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: No, never been married, doesn't have kids?
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: Wow? Okay, and obviously you know so you haven't met
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: No one has met the lucky Man. What is Lala?
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: I think she hasn't met him yet. She's excited, you know,
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I think we're both kind of like.
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: I think she's a little bit nervous for me. Yeah,
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: she knows that my picker was not very great. It's
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: gotten a lot better. I've done a lot of work
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: on myself, so I trust myself now and when something's
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: not right. I'm a board mission very quickly, red flag,
• 39:19
  Speaker 2: red flag. Yeah.
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: Do you still love acting and you still are pursuing
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: your career?
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: I do. I have a movie coming out, going to
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: a film festival next week. It will be in theaters
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: and streaming in the fall.
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: Congrats.
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: I have a project with Lala, and I'm just always creating.
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: Acting is my passion. Storytelling is my passion. I've done
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: it since i was seven eight years old. That's my love.
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: I love doing it. But I'm also completely open to
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: any sort of different artistic outlets and creativity and projects
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: and stuff like that.
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: Would you do dancing with the Stars?
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, of course I would. That would be amazing.
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, I would. I I love dancing. Most
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: people don't know this. My kids are obviously so embarrassed
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: because I'm the mom and I'm not. You know, it's
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: like not cool to see your mom like playing Biggie
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: Smalls or like even like music. I love dancing and
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: I would one hundred percent do Dancing with the stars.
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: Who would you want your partner to be?
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: Mm? Julianne. She's a girlfriend of mine. Okay, I don't
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: I don't know I mean, I'm I think like any
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: I think each of the dancers on there are so
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: beautiful and so unique and so different, and there's something
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: to learn from every single one of them.
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: So you and Laala should do dancing with the stars.
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: That would be so fun to watch.
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: I would do it in a heartbeat, and I know
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: she would too. It would be so fun. I would
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: it would be. I know it's a lot of work.
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: I heard it's a lot of work.
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: Yes, like you, I mean probably not possible, but your kid,
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: I mean, everyone would just have to move there because
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: there is no such thing. You can't But when you
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: do get the call, give me a call and I'll
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: walk you through it.
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: Okay, great, I can't wait.
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: So as we wrap up here, what do you have?
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: Do you have any advice for anybody who's struggling right
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: now and that's going through a divorce.
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: It gets better, and it doesn't feel like it. It
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: doesn't feel like it. It feels like you can't see the
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: light at the end of the tunnel. But I promise you,
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: I promise you it gets better. But at the same time,
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: I think one of the biggest mistakes that I made
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: is I was so desperate for my piece and just
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: to get it done and quick as possible. That I
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: really hurt myself in a lot of ways that I
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: definitely won't get into details here. But be smart. You
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: have to be smart. You could be emotional, but you
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: also have to be smart. Doesn't mean you have to
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: like go for the jugular and be, you know, a
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: horrible person, right, because I don't believe in that. But
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: I think it's really important to not get caught up
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: in the nitty gritty of things and look at the
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: big picture and just know that you're going to get
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: through this too.
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: Shall pass for sure. Thank you so much, thank you,
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: Thanks so much to Amber for this candid conversation. If
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: you guys need any advice on how to navigate your
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: own relationship with your ex's new partner, well just call
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: us or email us. All the info is in the
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: show notes as always, andollow us on socials. Make sure
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: to rate review the podcast I Do Part two and
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective.