Latest / Adult Child of Dysfunction / E 227: Healing Generational Wounds and Reclaiming Your Identity: Guest Becky Nieves

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E 227: Healing Generational Wounds and Reclaiming Your Identity: Guest Becky Nieves · Adult Child of Dysfunction

• 0:47
  Well,
• 0:47
  good
• 0:47
  morning,
• 0:48
  everybody.
• 0:48
  Welcome
• 0:48
  back
• 0:49
  to
• 0:49
  another
• 0:49
  episode
• 0:49
  of
• 0:50
  Adult
• 0:50
  Child
• 0:50
  of
• 0:50
  Dysfunction.
• 0:51
  Today
• 0:51
  we
• 0:52
  have
• 0:52
  with
• 0:52
  us
• 0:52
  Becky
• 0:53
  Nieves.
• 0:53
  She
• 0:54
  is
• 0:54
  a
• 0:54
  cycle
• 0:55
  breaker
• 0:55
  coach
• 0:55
  mama
• 0:56
  4
• 0:56
  and
• 0:57
  a
• 0:57
  no
• 0:57
  BS
• 0:58
  guide
• 0:58
  for
• 0:58
  women
• 0:59
  breaking
• 0:59
  free
• 0:59
  from
• 1:00
  generational
• 1:00
  trauma.
• 1:01
  She
• 1:01
  turned
• 1:02
  her
• 1:02
  pain
• 1:02
  into
• 1:02
  purpose
• 1:03
  after
• 1:03
  going
• 1:03
  no
• 1:03
  contact
• 1:04
  with
• 1:04
  her
• 1:04
  narcissistic
• 1:05
  father.
• 1:05
  And
• 1:06
  now
• 1:06
  she
• 1:06
  helps
• 1:06
  women
• 1:07
  rewrite
• 1:07
  their
• 1:07
  stories,
• 1:08
  reclaim
• 1:08
  their
• 1:08
  power,
• 1:09
  and
• 1:09
  create
• 1:09
  a
• 1:10
  legacy
• 1:10
  of
• 1:10
  break
• 1:11
  freedom.
• 1:12
  Sounds
• 1:12
  just
• 1:12
  like
• 1:12
  what
• 1:12
  we
• 1:13
  all
• 1:13
  doing,
• 1:13
  right?
• 1:14
  This
• 1:14
  is
• 1:14
  so
• 1:14
  cool.
• 1:15
  Like,
• 1:15
  it's
• 1:15
  like
• 1:15
  we're
• 1:16
  all
• 1:16
  on
• 1:16
  the
• 1:16
  same
• 1:16
  page.
• 1:17
  Welcome,
• 1:17
  Becky.
• 1:19
  Oh,
• 1:19
  thank
• 1:19
  you
• 1:20
  so
• 1:20
  much,
• 1:20
  Tammy.
• 1:20
  Every
• 1:20
  time
• 1:21
  I
• 1:21
  hear
• 1:21
  my
• 1:21
  bio,
• 1:21
  I'm
• 1:22
  like,
• 1:22
  wait,
• 1:22
  is
• 1:22
  that
• 1:22
  me?
• 1:22
  Oh,
• 1:23
  I
• 1:23
  guess
• 1:23
  it
• 1:23
  is.
• 1:23
  It's,
• 1:24
  you
• 1:24
  know,
• 1:24
  a
• 1:24
  little
• 1:24
  jarring
• 1:25
  sometimes.
• 1:26
  Doesn't
• 1:26
  it
• 1:26
  sound
• 1:26
  fun
• 1:27
  when
• 1:27
  other
• 1:27
  people
• 1:27
  read
• 1:27
  it,
• 1:28
  I'll
• 1:28
  like
• 1:28
  write
• 1:29
  it
• 1:29
  out
• 1:29
  and
• 1:29
  go,
• 1:29
  yeah,
• 1:29
  yeah,
• 1:29
  yeah.
• 1:30
  And
• 1:30
  then
• 1:30
  someone
• 1:30
  reads
• 1:30
  it
• 1:30
  on
• 1:31
  a
• 1:31
  podcast.
• 1:31
  I'm
• 1:31
  like,
• 1:32
  oh,
• 1:32
  touch
• 1:32
  me.
• 1:33
  Like
• 1:33
  that
• 1:33
  sounds
• 1:34
  good,
• 1:35
  right?
• 1:35
  Like,
• 1:35
  okay,
• 1:36
  I
• 1:36
  sound
• 1:36
  really,
• 1:36
  really
• 1:36
  cool.
• 1:37
  Great.
• 1:38
  Yeah.
• 1:39
  So
• 1:40
  you
• 1:40
  said
• 1:40
  you
• 1:41
  went
• 1:41
  no
• 1:41
  contact
• 1:41
  60
• 1:42
  years
• 1:42
  ago
• 1:42
  with
• 1:43
  your
• 1:43
  father.
• 1:43
  Correct?
• 1:44
  I
• 1:44
  don't
• 1:44
  even
• 1:44
  know
• 1:44
  how
• 1:45
  old
• 1:45
  you
• 1:45
  are.
• 1:45
  I
• 1:45
  can't
• 1:45
  even
• 1:45
  imagine.
• 1:46
  I
• 1:47
  can't
• 1:47
  tell
• 1:47
  by
• 1:47
  looking
• 1:47
  at
• 1:47
  you.
• 1:48
  You
• 1:48
  look
• 1:48
  super
• 1:48
  young,
• 1:49
  so.
• 1:51
  Yeah,
• 1:51
  you
• 1:52
  do.
• 1:52
  I
• 1:52
  don't
• 1:52
  know
• 1:52
  how
• 1:52
  old
• 1:53
  you
• 1:53
  are.
• 1:53
  I
• 1:53
  have
• 1:54
  no
• 1:54
  idea.
• 1:54
  But
• 1:56
  was
• 1:56
  that
• 1:57
  hard
• 1:57
  talk
• 1:57
  about
• 1:58
  that.
• 1:59
  Oh,
• 1:59
  it
• 2:00
  was.
• 2:00
  I'm
• 2:01
  gonna
• 2:01
  jump
• 2:01
  right
• 2:01
  in
• 2:02
  there
• 2:02
  because
• 2:02
  so
• 2:03
  many
• 2:03
  people
• 2:03
  question,
• 2:04
  do
• 2:04
  I
• 2:04
  go
• 2:04
  no
• 2:05
  contact
• 2:05
  or,
• 2:05
  you
• 2:06
  know,
• 2:06
  they
• 2:06
  hear
• 2:06
  they
• 2:06
  grow
• 2:06
  up
• 2:07
  their
• 2:07
  whole
• 2:07
  lives
• 2:07
  being.
• 2:07
  You
• 2:08
  can't
• 2:08
  feel
• 2:08
  that
• 2:08
  way
• 2:08
  about
• 2:09
  him.
• 2:09
  He's
• 2:09
  your
• 2:09
  father.
• 2:10
  You
• 2:10
  can't
• 2:11
  not
• 2:11
  like
• 2:11
  her.
• 2:11
  She's
• 2:12
  your
• 2:12
  mother.
• 2:14
  Yeah,
• 2:15
  I
• 2:15
  call
• 2:15
  BS
• 2:16
  on
• 2:16
  that
• 2:16
  100%.
• 2:18
  And
• 2:19
  honestly,
• 2:19
  I
• 2:20
  only
• 2:20
  wish
• 2:20
  I
• 2:20
  had
• 2:20
  done
• 2:20
  it
• 2:21
  sooner,
• 2:21
  quite
• 2:21
  honestly.
• 2:23
  So
• 2:23
  for
• 2:23
  inquiring
• 2:23
  minds,
• 2:24
  I
• 2:24
  am
• 2:24
  42.
• 2:25
  Actually,
• 2:25
  I
• 2:25
  should
• 2:25
  rewrite
• 2:26
  the
• 2:26
  bio.
• 2:26
  It's
• 2:26
  now
• 2:26
  been
• 2:27
  seven
• 2:27
  years.
• 2:28
  I
• 2:28
  went
• 2:29
  no
• 2:29
  contact
• 2:29
  when
• 2:29
  I
• 2:29
  was
• 2:30
  35.
• 2:31
  And
• 2:31
  that
• 2:31
  was
• 2:32
  after
• 2:32
  spending
• 2:32
  my
• 2:33
  pretty
• 2:33
  much
• 2:33
  entire
• 2:34
  adult
• 2:34
  life
• 2:35
  going
• 2:35
  back
• 2:36
  and
• 2:36
  forth
• 2:36
  where
• 2:36
  we
• 2:36
  would
• 2:37
  like,
• 2:37
  not
• 2:37
  talk
• 2:38
  for
• 2:38
  a
• 2:38
  few
• 2:38
  months
• 2:38
  and
• 2:38
  then
• 2:39
  I'd
• 2:39
  give
• 2:39
  them
• 2:39
  another
• 2:39
  shot
• 2:40
  and
• 2:40
  it
• 2:41
  would
• 2:41
  just
• 2:41
  repeat
• 2:41
  over
• 2:42
  and
• 2:42
  over
• 2:42
  again
• 2:42
  again.
• 2:42
  And
• 2:43
  so
• 2:43
  finally
• 2:43
  I'm
• 2:43
  like,
• 2:44
  okay,
• 2:44
  we're
• 2:44
  just
• 2:44
  going
• 2:44
  to
• 2:44
  rip
• 2:44
  the
• 2:45
  band
• 2:45
  aid
• 2:45
  off.
• 2:45
  But
• 2:46
  that
• 2:46
  wasn't
• 2:47
  my
• 2:47
  intent.
• 2:47
  Like
• 2:48
  it
• 2:48
  kind
• 2:48
  of
• 2:48
  happened
• 2:49
  where
• 2:49
  we
• 2:49
  had
• 2:49
  another
• 2:49
  one
• 2:50
  of
• 2:50
  our
• 2:50
  blow
• 2:50
  ups.
• 2:52
  Last
• 2:52
  conversation
• 2:53
  we
• 2:53
  had,
• 2:53
  I
• 2:53
  pretty
• 2:53
  much
• 2:53
  told
• 2:53
  him,
• 2:54
  well,
• 2:54
  you,
• 2:54
  you
• 2:54
  go
• 2:54
  to
• 2:54
  hell.
• 2:56
  And
• 2:56
  that
• 2:56
  was
• 2:56
  famous
• 2:57
  last
• 2:57
  words.
• 2:57
  And
• 2:57
  I
• 2:57
  just
• 2:57
  didn't
• 2:58
  talk
• 2:58
  to
• 2:58
  him
• 2:58
  after
• 2:58
  that.
• 2:59
  And
• 3:00
  he
• 3:00
  would
• 3:00
  reach
• 3:00
  out
• 3:00
  or
• 3:01
  I'd
• 3:01
  have,
• 3:01
  like
• 3:01
  you
• 3:01
  said,
• 3:02
  other
• 3:02
  well
• 3:02
  meaning
• 3:03
  family
• 3:03
  members
• 3:03
  reach
• 3:04
  out
• 3:04
  saying,
• 3:04
  Aren't
• 3:04
  you
• 3:04
  going
• 3:04
  to
• 3:05
  talk
• 3:05
  to
• 3:05
  your
• 3:05
  dad?
• 3:05
  Like,
• 3:06
  no,
• 3:06
  I
• 3:06
  don't,
• 3:06
  I
• 3:07
  don't
• 3:07
  think
• 3:07
  so.
• 3:07
  I
• 3:07
  think
• 3:07
  this
• 3:07
  time
• 3:08
  I
• 3:08
  don't
• 3:08
  want
• 3:08
  to.
• 3:09
  Um.
• 3:09
  And
• 3:09
  it
• 3:09
  just
• 3:10
  morphed
• 3:11
  into
• 3:11
  now
• 3:11
  it's
• 3:12
  been
• 3:12
  seven
• 3:12
  years
• 3:13
  and
• 3:14
  been
• 3:14
  living
• 3:14
  my
• 3:14
  best
• 3:14
  life
• 3:15
  ever
• 3:15
  since.
• 3:17
  And
• 3:17
  no
• 3:17
  guilt,
• 3:18
  no
• 3:18
  regrets.
• 3:19
  Like
• 3:19
  you
• 3:19
  said,
• 3:19
  you
• 3:20
  wish
• 3:20
  that
• 3:20
  you
• 3:20
  had
• 3:20
  done
• 3:20
  it
• 3:21
  sooner.
• 3:22
  100%.
• 3:23
  And
• 3:23
  I
• 3:23
  will
• 3:23
  say
• 3:23
  at
• 3:24
  the
• 3:24
  time,
• 3:24
  absolutely,
• 3:25
  I
• 3:25
  had
• 3:25
  guilt
• 3:25
  and
• 3:26
  regret.
• 3:26
  I
• 3:26
  mean,
• 3:27
  that's
• 3:27
  something
• 3:27
  that's
• 3:28
  taken
• 3:28
  a
• 3:28
  very
• 3:28
  long
• 3:29
  time
• 3:29
  to
• 3:29
  kind
• 3:29
  of
• 3:30
  deal
• 3:30
  with,
• 3:31
  dealing
• 3:31
  with
• 3:31
  the
• 3:31
  anger,
• 3:32
  the
• 3:32
  guilt.
• 3:33
  In
• 3:33
  the
• 3:33
  course
• 3:34
  of
• 3:34
  myself
• 3:34
  going
• 3:35
  no
• 3:35
  contact,
• 3:37
  my
• 3:37
  mother
• 3:37
  became
• 3:38
  ill
• 3:38
  with
• 3:38
  early
• 3:38
  onset
• 3:39
  Alzheimer's.
• 3:40
  And
• 3:41
  at
• 3:41
  that
• 3:41
  point
• 3:42
  everybody
• 3:42
  was
• 3:42
  like,
• 3:42
  well,
• 3:43
  are
• 3:43
  you
• 3:43
  going
• 3:43
  to
• 3:44
  reach
• 3:45
  out
• 3:45
  again
• 3:45
  and
• 3:46
  let
• 3:46
  them,
• 3:46
  you
• 3:46
  know,
• 3:46
  your
• 3:46
  mom's
• 3:47
  sick,
• 3:47
  you
• 3:47
  know,
• 3:47
  needs
• 3:48
  help,
• 3:48
  all
• 3:48
  those
• 3:48
  things.
• 3:48
  And
• 3:49
  I'm
• 3:49
  like,
• 3:49
  no,
• 3:49
  I
• 3:49
  don't.
• 3:49
  I
• 3:49
  don't
• 3:50
  think
• 3:50
  I
• 3:50
  will.
• 3:50
  Because
• 3:51
  she
• 3:52
  was
• 3:52
  his
• 3:52
  enabler
• 3:53
  and
• 3:54
  she
• 3:54
  made
• 3:54
  a
• 3:54
  decision
• 3:55
  a
• 3:55
  long
• 3:55
  time
• 3:55
  ago
• 3:56
  to
• 3:56
  put
• 3:57
  him
• 3:57
  before
• 3:57
  her
• 3:58
  children.
• 3:59
  And
• 3:59
  as
• 3:59
  hard
• 3:59
  as
• 4:00
  it
• 4:00
  was
• 4:00
  at
• 4:00
  that
• 4:00
  time,
• 4:01
  she
• 4:01
  was
• 4:01
  an
• 4:01
  adult,
• 4:02
  made
• 4:02
  a
• 4:02
  decision,
• 4:02
  and
• 4:03
  she
• 4:03
  had
• 4:03
  to
• 4:03
  pay
• 4:03
  the
• 4:04
  consequences
• 4:04
  for
• 4:04
  those.
• 4:05
  Those
• 4:05
  decisions
• 4:06
  that
• 4:06
  she
• 4:06
  made.
• 4:07
  Yeah.
• 4:07
  You
• 4:07
  shouldn't
• 4:07
  have
• 4:08
  to
• 4:08
  bear
• 4:08
  the
• 4:08
  brunt
• 4:08
  of
• 4:09
  that.
• 4:09
  And
• 4:09
  you
• 4:10
  know,
• 4:10
  and
• 4:10
  you're.
• 4:10
  And
• 4:11
  it's
• 4:11
  only
• 4:11
  going
• 4:11
  to
• 4:11
  get
• 4:11
  worse
• 4:12
  and
• 4:12
  it's
• 4:12
  never
• 4:12
  going
• 4:13
  to
• 4:13
  change
• 4:13
  because
• 4:14
  when
• 4:14
  you
• 4:15
  don't
• 4:15
  break
• 4:15
  free
• 4:16
  from
• 4:16
  the
• 4:16
  narcissistic
• 4:17
  person,
• 4:17
  which
• 4:18
  is
• 4:18
  your
• 4:19
  mom,
• 4:19
  that
• 4:19
  person
• 4:19
  that
• 4:20
  did
• 4:20
  not
• 4:20
  break
• 4:20
  free,
• 4:21
  she
• 4:21
  has
• 4:21
  no
• 4:22
  choice
• 4:22
  but
• 4:22
  to
• 4:22
  become
• 4:23
  completely
• 4:23
  codependent
• 4:24
  and
• 4:24
  completely
• 4:24
  enabling.
• 4:25
  Absolutely,
• 4:26
  100%.
• 4:28
  So
• 4:29
  I.1
• 4:30
  of
• 4:30
  the
• 4:31
  questions
• 4:31
  you
• 4:31
  asked
• 4:31
  me,
• 4:31
  and
• 4:32
  I
• 4:32
  love
• 4:32
  this,
• 4:33
  is
• 4:34
  what
• 4:34
  does.
• 4:35
  Because
• 4:35
  a
• 4:35
  lot
• 4:35
  of
• 4:35
  people
• 4:36
  say,
• 4:36
  you
• 4:36
  know,
• 4:36
  I'm
• 4:37
  a
• 4:37
  cycle
• 4:37
  breaker.
• 4:38
  I'm
• 4:38
  gonna
• 4:38
  break
• 4:38
  this
• 4:38
  generational
• 4:39
  trauma.
• 4:39
  I'm
• 4:40
  gonna
• 4:40
  do
• 4:40
  this.
• 4:41
  But
• 4:41
  then
• 4:41
  it's
• 4:42
  like
• 4:42
  they
• 4:42
  think,
• 4:42
  okay,
• 4:42
  well,
• 4:43
  what
• 4:43
  am
• 4:43
  I
• 4:43
  actually
• 4:43
  doing
• 4:44
  to
• 4:44
  do
• 4:44
  that?
• 4:44
  What
• 4:45
  does
• 4:45
  that
• 4:45
  mean?
• 4:45
  What
• 4:46
  does
• 4:46
  that
• 4:46
  look
• 4:46
  like?
• 4:47
  Talk
• 4:47
  about
• 4:47
  once
• 4:48
  you
• 4:48
  got
• 4:48
  out,
• 4:48
  because
• 4:49
  obviously
• 4:49
  growing
• 4:50
  up
• 4:50
  with
• 4:50
  a
• 4:50
  narcissistic
• 4:51
  parent,
• 4:51
  were
• 4:51
  both
• 4:51
  of
• 4:52
  your
• 4:52
  parents.
• 4:52
  I
• 4:52
  mean,
• 4:52
  was
• 4:53
  everything
• 4:53
  else
• 4:53
  besides
• 4:54
  the
• 4:54
  narcissist?
• 4:54
  Was
• 4:55
  there
• 4:55
  addiction
• 4:55
  in
• 4:55
  the
• 4:55
  house?
• 4:56
  Was
• 4:56
  there
• 4:56
  all
• 4:56
  kinds
• 4:57
  of
• 4:57
  other
• 4:57
  things?
• 4:57
  Or
• 4:57
  was
• 4:58
  it
• 4:58
  more
• 4:58
  just
• 4:58
  the
• 4:59
  controlling
• 4:59
  narcissism?
• 5:01
  I
• 5:01
  mean,
• 5:01
  I
• 5:01
  would
• 5:01
  say
• 5:02
  my
• 5:02
  father
• 5:02
  is
• 5:02
  also
• 5:03
  a
• 5:03
  high
• 5:03
  functioning
• 5:04
  alcohol.
• 5:04
  Alcoholic.
• 5:05
  But
• 5:06
  mainly
• 5:07
  it
• 5:07
  was
• 5:07
  definitely
• 5:07
  the
• 5:08
  narcissism.
• 5:08
  The,
• 5:09
  the.
• 5:09
  What
• 5:10
  do
• 5:10
  I
• 5:10
  call
• 5:10
  it?
• 5:10
  The
• 5:10
  emotional
• 5:11
  neglect.
• 5:12
  I
• 5:12
  guess
• 5:12
  it
• 5:12
  was
• 5:12
  like,
• 5:13
  you
• 5:13
  have
• 5:13
  a
• 5:13
  roof
• 5:14
  over
• 5:14
  your
• 5:14
  head,
• 5:15
  I
• 5:15
  pay
• 5:15
  the
• 5:15
  bills
• 5:16
  and
• 5:16
  anything
• 5:16
  else
• 5:17
  is
• 5:17
  unnecessary.
• 5:19
  Right.
• 5:19
  You
• 5:20
  owe
• 5:20
  him.
• 5:20
  Yeah,
• 5:21
  he's.
• 5:21
  Yes,
• 5:22
  it's
• 5:22
  his
• 5:22
  world.
• 5:23
  You
• 5:23
  Just
• 5:23
  happen
• 5:23
  to
• 5:23
  live
• 5:23
  in
• 5:24
  it.
• 5:25
  Exactly.
• 5:25
  100.
• 5:26
  We
• 5:26
  all
• 5:26
  exist
• 5:27
  just
• 5:27
  to
• 5:27
  make
• 5:28
  him
• 5:28
  look
• 5:28
  better.
• 5:28
  Yes,
• 5:29
  that
• 5:29
  was
• 5:29
  it.
• 5:30
  Absolutely.
• 5:31
  So
• 5:32
  what
• 5:32
  is
• 5:32
  it?
• 5:33
  So
• 5:33
  talk
• 5:34
  about,
• 5:34
  first
• 5:34
  of
• 5:34
  all,
• 5:35
  what
• 5:35
  that
• 5:35
  did
• 5:36
  to
• 5:36
  your
• 5:36
  self
• 5:37
  esteem,
• 5:37
  your
• 5:37
  sense
• 5:38
  of
• 5:38
  identity,
• 5:38
  all
• 5:38
  of
• 5:39
  the
• 5:39
  things.
• 5:39
  Growing
• 5:40
  up
• 5:40
  with
• 5:40
  a
• 5:40
  parent
• 5:40
  that
• 5:41
  long,
• 5:41
  like,
• 5:42
  what
• 5:42
  did
• 5:43
  it
• 5:43
  do
• 5:43
  to
• 5:43
  you?
• 5:44
  It
• 5:45
  completely
• 5:46
  negated
• 5:46
  my
• 5:47
  sense
• 5:47
  of
• 5:47
  self.
• 5:47
  I
• 5:47
  didn't
• 5:48
  trust
• 5:48
  myself.
• 5:48
  I
• 5:49
  think
• 5:49
  trust
• 5:49
  was
• 5:49
  like
• 5:49
  the
• 5:50
  biggest
• 5:50
  thing.
• 5:51
  Because
• 5:51
  if
• 5:51
  you
• 5:52
  are,
• 5:52
  you
• 5:52
  grow
• 5:52
  up
• 5:53
  in
• 5:53
  a
• 5:53
  narcissistic
• 5:53
  household
• 5:55
  generally,
• 5:55
  I
• 5:56
  won't
• 5:56
  say
• 5:56
  100
• 5:56
  of
• 5:57
  the
• 5:57
  time,
• 5:57
  but
• 5:57
  I
• 5:58
  found
• 5:58
  myself
• 5:58
  dating
• 5:59
  men
• 5:59
  who
• 6:00
  are
• 6:00
  very,
• 6:00
  very
• 6:00
  similar
• 6:01
  to
• 6:01
  my
• 6:01
  father.
• 6:02
  And
• 6:02
  it
• 6:03
  kept
• 6:03
  repeating
• 6:04
  and
• 6:04
  repeating
• 6:04
  and
• 6:04
  repeating.
• 6:05
  And
• 6:05
  I'm
• 6:05
  like,
• 6:05
  wait
• 6:05
  a
• 6:05
  minute,
• 6:06
  why
• 6:06
  do
• 6:06
  I
• 6:06
  keep.
• 6:06
  And
• 6:06
  then
• 6:07
  I
• 6:07
  had
• 6:07
  the.
• 6:07
  The
• 6:07
  moment
• 6:08
  where
• 6:08
  I'm
• 6:08
  like,
• 6:08
  oh,
• 6:08
  I'm
• 6:08
  a
• 6:08
  fixer.
• 6:09
  Can't
• 6:09
  fix
• 6:09
  my
• 6:10
  dad.
• 6:10
  I'm
• 6:10
  gonna
• 6:10
  fix
• 6:10
  these
• 6:11
  guys.
• 6:11
  Yeah.
• 6:12
  No,
• 6:13
  not
• 6:13
  gonna
• 6:13
  happen.
• 6:15
  And
• 6:15
  then
• 6:15
  I
• 6:15
  had
• 6:15
  to
• 6:15
  make
• 6:16
  a
• 6:16
  very
• 6:16
  conscious
• 6:17
  decision
• 6:17
  at
• 6:17
  that
• 6:17
  point.
• 6:18
  I
• 6:18
  can
• 6:18
  literally
• 6:18
  remember
• 6:19
  the
• 6:20
  point
• 6:20
  where
• 6:20
  I
• 6:20
  was
• 6:20
  like,
• 6:21
  okay,
• 6:21
  this
• 6:21
  is
• 6:21
  not
• 6:21
  working.
• 6:22
  I'm
• 6:23
  going
• 6:23
  to
• 6:23
  date
• 6:23
  somebody
• 6:24
  that,
• 6:25
  honestly,
• 6:25
  I'm
• 6:25
  not
• 6:26
  even
• 6:26
  completely
• 6:26
  attracted
• 6:27
  to.
• 6:27
  They're
• 6:27
  not
• 6:27
  my
• 6:27
  type,
• 6:28
  because
• 6:28
  it
• 6:29
  was
• 6:29
  a
• 6:29
  pattern
• 6:29
  disruption
• 6:30
  for
• 6:30
  me.
• 6:30
  I
• 6:30
  was
• 6:30
  like,
• 6:30
  I'm
• 6:30
  going
• 6:30
  to
• 6:30
  do
• 6:31
  something
• 6:31
  totally
• 6:31
  off
• 6:31
  the
• 6:32
  wall.
• 6:32
  And
• 6:33
  that's
• 6:33
  when
• 6:33
  I
• 6:33
  met
• 6:33
  my
• 6:33
  husband.
• 6:34
  Oh,
• 6:34
  that's
• 6:35
  funny.
• 6:36
  Yeah,
• 6:36
  totally.
• 6:37
  Like,
• 6:37
  I
• 6:37
  would
• 6:37
  never
• 6:37
  have
• 6:38
  looked
• 6:38
  at
• 6:38
  him
• 6:38
  twice.
• 6:39
  And
• 6:39
  that
• 6:39
  is
• 6:39
  when
• 6:40
  I
• 6:40
  met
• 6:40
  my
• 6:40
  husband.
• 6:41
  That
• 6:41
  is
• 6:41
  funny.
• 6:42
  You
• 6:42
  know,
• 6:42
  it's
• 6:42
  funny
• 6:43
  because
• 6:43
  I
• 6:43
  look
• 6:43
  back
• 6:43
  now.
• 6:44
  I've
• 6:44
  been
• 6:44
  remarried
• 6:45
  for
• 6:45
  23
• 6:45
  years,
• 6:46
  22
• 6:46
  years,
• 6:46
  something
• 6:47
  like
• 6:47
  that.
• 6:48
  And
• 6:48
  people
• 6:48
  are
• 6:48
  so
• 6:48
  funny,
• 6:48
  and
• 6:48
  they're
• 6:49
  like,
• 6:49
  well,
• 6:49
  what
• 6:49
  did
• 6:49
  he
• 6:49
  see?
• 6:50
  What
• 6:50
  did.
• 6:50
  What
• 6:51
  did
• 6:51
  you
• 6:51
  see
• 6:51
  in
• 6:51
  him?
• 6:52
  Like,
• 6:52
  you
• 6:52
  guys
• 6:53
  are
• 6:53
  like,
• 6:53
  really
• 6:53
  nothing
• 6:54
  alike.
• 6:54
  Like,
• 6:54
  what
• 6:54
  did
• 6:54
  you
• 6:55
  see
• 6:55
  in
• 6:55
  him?
• 6:55
  I'm
• 6:55
  like,
• 6:55
  he
• 6:55
  wasn't
• 6:56
  my
• 6:56
  first
• 6:56
  husband.
• 6:56
  He
• 6:57
  was
• 6:57
  exactly
• 6:57
  opposite.
• 6:58
  And
• 6:59
  everything
• 6:59
  that
• 7:00
  I
• 7:01
  thought
• 7:01
  I
• 7:01
  loved
• 7:01
  about
• 7:01
  my
• 7:02
  first
• 7:02
  husband
• 7:02
  should
• 7:03
  have
• 7:03
  been
• 7:03
  a
• 7:03
  red
• 7:03
  flag.
• 7:04
  You
• 7:04
  know,
• 7:04
  the
• 7:05
  excitement,
• 7:05
  partying,
• 7:06
  the
• 7:06
  fun,
• 7:06
  the.
• 7:07
  You
• 7:07
  know,
• 7:07
  put
• 7:08
  me
• 7:08
  on
• 7:08
  this
• 7:08
  pedestal
• 7:09
  and
• 7:09
  just
• 7:10
  like,
• 7:10
  love
• 7:11
  bomb
• 7:11
  me,
• 7:11
  you
• 7:12
  know,
• 7:12
  I
• 7:12
  mean,
• 7:12
  the
• 7:12
  whole.
• 7:12
  It
• 7:13
  was.
• 7:13
  It
• 7:13
  was
• 7:13
  all
• 7:13
  the
• 7:14
  things
• 7:14
  and
• 7:14
  it
• 7:14
  was
• 7:14
  so
• 7:15
  funny.
• 7:15
  And
• 7:15
  so
• 7:15
  when
• 7:15
  I
• 7:15
  met
• 7:16
  my
• 7:16
  second
• 7:16
  husband,
• 7:16
  I'm
• 7:16
  like,
• 7:16
  wow,
• 7:17
  he's
• 7:17
  exhausted.
• 7:17
  Exactly
• 7:18
  opposite.
• 7:18
  I'm
• 7:19
  like,
• 7:19
  this
• 7:19
  might
• 7:20
  be
• 7:20
  what
• 7:20
  I
• 7:20
  need.
• 7:22
  Exactly.
• 7:22
  And
• 7:22
  it
• 7:23
  is,
• 7:23
  right?
• 7:23
  It
• 7:23
  was
• 7:23
  so
• 7:24
  funny
• 7:24
  that
• 7:24
  that
• 7:24
  was
• 7:24
  exactly
• 7:25
  like
• 7:25
  my
• 7:26
  sister,
• 7:26
  everyone,
• 7:26
  she
• 7:26
  met
• 7:26
  him,
• 7:27
  she's
• 7:27
  like,
• 7:27
  wait,
• 7:27
  he
• 7:27
  doesn't
• 7:28
  have
• 7:28
  a
• 7:28
  tattoo.
• 7:28
  He
• 7:28
  doesn't
• 7:29
  drink
• 7:29
  at
• 7:29
  all?
• 7:30
  And
• 7:30
  I'm
• 7:30
  like,
• 7:30
  yeah,
• 7:31
  nope.
• 7:31
  And
• 7:31
  she's
• 7:31
  like,
• 7:32
  are
• 7:32
  you
• 7:32
  sure?
• 7:33
  And
• 7:33
  I'M
• 7:33
  like,
• 7:33
  yeah,
• 7:33
  I'm
• 7:33
  sure.
• 7:34
  And
• 7:34
  we're
• 7:34
  going
• 7:34
  to
• 7:34
  be
• 7:34
  married
• 7:35
  15.
• 7:35
  Years
• 7:35
  in
• 7:35
  October,
• 7:36
  so
• 7:37
  amen
• 7:37
  to
• 7:38
  that.
• 7:38
  I
• 7:38
  absolutely
• 7:38
  love
• 7:39
  that.
• 7:40
  So
• 7:40
  you
• 7:40
  grew
• 7:40
  up.
• 7:41
  And
• 7:41
  I'm
• 7:41
  going
• 7:42
  kind
• 7:42
  of
• 7:42
  back
• 7:42
  to
• 7:42
  this.
• 7:43
  I'm
• 7:43
  bouncing
• 7:43
  around,
• 7:43
  which
• 7:44
  is
• 7:44
  what
• 7:44
  I
• 7:44
  tend
• 7:44
  to
• 7:44
  do,
• 7:44
  you'll
• 7:45
  notice.
• 7:45
  I
• 7:45
  mean,
• 7:45
  that's
• 7:46
  what
• 7:46
  this.
• 7:47
  That's
• 7:47
  what
• 7:47
  we
• 7:47
  do.
• 7:47
  We
• 7:47
  talk
• 7:48
  about
• 7:48
  whatever
• 7:48
  kind
• 7:48
  of
• 7:49
  strikes
• 7:49
  us.
• 7:49
  And
• 7:49
  as
• 7:49
  things
• 7:50
  come
• 7:50
  to
• 7:50
  my
• 7:50
  mind,
• 7:50
  I'm
• 7:51
  going
• 7:51
  to
• 7:51
  just
• 7:51
  ask
• 7:51
  you.
• 7:52
  But
• 7:52
  you
• 7:52
  grew
• 7:53
  up
• 7:53
  with
• 7:53
  a
• 7:54
  guilt
• 7:54
  of,
• 7:54
  like
• 7:54
  you
• 7:55
  said,
• 7:55
  you
• 7:55
  were
• 7:55
  this
• 7:55
  constant.
• 7:56
  I
• 7:56
  just
• 7:56
  have
• 7:56
  to
• 7:57
  make
• 7:57
  him
• 7:57
  happy,
• 7:57
  I
• 7:57
  have
• 7:57
  to
• 7:58
  displease
• 7:58
  him.
• 7:58
  As
• 7:58
  long
• 7:59
  as
• 7:59
  he's
• 7:59
  happy,
• 7:59
  everything's
• 8:00
  good.
• 8:01
  How
• 8:01
  did
• 8:01
  you
• 8:01
  start
• 8:02
  to
• 8:02
  break
• 8:02
  free
• 8:03
  of
• 8:04
  that
• 8:04
  feeling
• 8:04
  of,
• 8:05
  I
• 8:05
  don't
• 8:05
  want
• 8:05
  to
• 8:05
  be
• 8:05
  the
• 8:05
  bad
• 8:06
  guy,
• 8:06
  I
• 8:06
  don't
• 8:06
  want
• 8:07
  to
• 8:07
  rock
• 8:07
  any
• 8:07
  boats,
• 8:08
  I
• 8:08
  don't
• 8:08
  want
• 8:08
  to
• 8:08
  walk
• 8:09
  on,
• 8:09
  you
• 8:09
  know,
• 8:10
  tiptoe
• 8:11
  around
• 8:11
  things?
• 8:12
  How
• 8:12
  did
• 8:12
  you
• 8:12
  start
• 8:12
  to
• 8:13
  break
• 8:13
  free
• 8:13
  of
• 8:13
  that?
• 8:15
  Well,
• 8:15
  I
• 8:15
  would
• 8:15
  say
• 8:15
  for
• 8:15
  me,
• 8:15
  it
• 8:16
  probably
• 8:16
  started
• 8:16
  about
• 8:16
  age
• 8:17
  14
• 8:17
  is
• 8:18
  when
• 8:18
  I
• 8:18
  realized,
• 8:18
  wait,
• 8:19
  my
• 8:19
  family
• 8:19
  is
• 8:19
  not
• 8:19
  like
• 8:20
  other
• 8:20
  families.
• 8:22
  And
• 8:22
  then
• 8:22
  I
• 8:22
  kind
• 8:22
  of
• 8:22
  went
• 8:23
  in
• 8:23
  a
• 8:23
  direction
• 8:24
  that
• 8:24
  it
• 8:24
  was
• 8:24
  good,
• 8:25
  but
• 8:25
  it
• 8:25
  wasn't
• 8:25
  particularly
• 8:25
  helpful.
• 8:26
  I
• 8:27
  was
• 8:27
  like,
• 8:27
  wait
• 8:27
  a
• 8:27
  minute,
• 8:27
  I'm
• 8:27
  going
• 8:27
  to
• 8:28
  go
• 8:28
  to
• 8:28
  school.
• 8:28
  I'm
• 8:28
  going
• 8:28
  to
• 8:28
  get
• 8:28
  a
• 8:28
  psychology
• 8:29
  degree,
• 8:29
  and
• 8:29
  I'm
• 8:30
  going
• 8:30
  to
• 8:30
  figure
• 8:30
  this
• 8:30
  out.
• 8:31
  And
• 8:31
  that
• 8:32
  is
• 8:32
  exactly
• 8:32
  what
• 8:32
  I
• 8:32
  did.
• 8:33
  I
• 8:33
  went
• 8:33
  got
• 8:33
  a
• 8:34
  psychology
• 8:34
  degree.
• 8:35
  It
• 8:35
  did
• 8:35
  not
• 8:35
  help.
• 8:36
  If
• 8:36
  anything,
• 8:36
  it
• 8:37
  actually
• 8:37
  made
• 8:37
  it
• 8:37
  worse
• 8:38
  because.
• 8:39
  And
• 8:40
  then
• 8:40
  after
• 8:40
  I
• 8:40
  had
• 8:40
  gotten
• 8:41
  my.
• 8:41
  My
• 8:41
  bachelor's
• 8:41
  degree,
• 8:42
  I
• 8:42
  went
• 8:42
  back
• 8:42
  to
• 8:42
  my
• 8:42
  dad.
• 8:42
  I'm
• 8:43
  like,
• 8:43
  you
• 8:43
  know,
• 8:43
  I
• 8:43
  really
• 8:43
  think
• 8:43
  you
• 8:44
  should
• 8:44
  see
• 8:44
  somebody
• 8:44
  go
• 8:45
  see
• 8:45
  a
• 8:45
  therapist.
• 8:46
  And
• 8:46
  eventually
• 8:46
  he
• 8:47
  did.
• 8:48
  And
• 8:48
  when
• 8:48
  a
• 8:48
  narcissist
• 8:49
  does
• 8:49
  agree
• 8:50
  to
• 8:50
  go
• 8:50
  see
• 8:50
  a
• 8:51
  therapist,
• 8:51
  it's
• 8:51
  a
• 8:51
  red
• 8:51
  flag,
• 8:52
  because
• 8:52
  then
• 8:53
  he
• 8:53
  did
• 8:53
  go
• 8:53
  to
• 8:53
  the
• 8:53
  therapist.
• 8:54
  He
• 8:54
  did
• 8:54
  go
• 8:54
  to
• 8:54
  the
• 8:55
  psychiatrist
• 8:55
  and
• 8:56
  said
• 8:56
  they
• 8:56
  gave
• 8:56
  him
• 8:57
  a
• 8:57
  diagnosis,
• 8:57
  they
• 8:57
  told
• 8:57
  him
• 8:58
  he
• 8:58
  was
• 8:58
  bipolar.
• 8:59
  So
• 8:59
  then
• 8:59
  he
• 8:59
  came
• 9:00
  home
• 9:00
  and
• 9:00
  everything's
• 9:01
  like,
• 9:01
  oh,
• 9:01
  it's
• 9:01
  not
• 9:01
  me,
• 9:01
  it's
• 9:02
  my
• 9:02
  bipolar
• 9:02
  disorder.
• 9:03
  And
• 9:03
  I'm
• 9:03
  like,
• 9:04
  no,
• 9:04
  you're
• 9:04
  just
• 9:04
  an
• 9:05
  a
• 9:05
  hole.
• 9:06
  But,
• 9:06
  yeah,
• 9:07
  that
• 9:07
  was.
• 9:08
  So
• 9:08
  that
• 9:08
  was
• 9:08
  that.
• 9:09
  And
• 9:09
  then
• 9:10
  I
• 9:10
  think
• 9:10
  for
• 9:11
  me,
• 9:11
  my.
• 9:11
  My
• 9:12
  biggest
• 9:12
  tipping
• 9:12
  point,
• 9:13
  like,
• 9:13
  I
• 9:13
  was,
• 9:13
  okay,
• 9:14
  I
• 9:14
  guess
• 9:15
  to
• 9:15
  a
• 9:15
  point
• 9:16
  being
• 9:17
  the.
• 9:17
  The
• 9:17
  whipping
• 9:18
  post,
• 9:18
  right?
• 9:18
  So
• 9:18
  to
• 9:19
  speak.
• 9:19
  It's
• 9:19
  what
• 9:19
  I
• 9:19
  grew
• 9:19
  up
• 9:20
  with.
• 9:20
  It
• 9:20
  was
• 9:20
  what
• 9:20
  I
• 9:20
  knew
• 9:22
  for
• 9:23
  me
• 9:23
  where
• 9:23
  I
• 9:23
  was
• 9:23
  like,
• 9:23
  okay,
• 9:24
  this.
• 9:24
  This
• 9:24
  absolutely
• 9:24
  cannot
• 9:25
  happen
• 9:25
  anymore
• 9:26
  is
• 9:26
  when
• 9:26
  I
• 9:27
  became
• 9:27
  a
• 9:27
  mom,
• 9:29
  and
• 9:30
  particularly
• 9:30
  with
• 9:30
  my
• 9:31
  second
• 9:31
  child.
• 9:32
  She
• 9:32
  has
• 9:33
  a
• 9:33
  rare
• 9:33
  genetic
• 9:33
  disorder,
• 9:35
  and
• 9:35
  it'll
• 9:35
  affect
• 9:36
  her
• 9:36
  lungs.
• 9:36
  She's
• 9:36
  going
• 9:36
  to
• 9:36
  get
• 9:37
  pulmonary
• 9:37
  fibrosis.
• 9:38
  It's
• 9:38
  fatal.
• 9:38
  There's
• 9:38
  no
• 9:38
  cure.
• 9:39
  I
• 9:39
  mean,
• 9:39
  she's
• 9:39
  okay
• 9:39
  right
• 9:40
  now,
• 9:41
  but
• 9:41
  we
• 9:41
  have
• 9:41
  to
• 9:42
  protect
• 9:42
  her
• 9:42
  lungs
• 9:42
  as
• 9:43
  much
• 9:43
  as
• 9:43
  we
• 9:43
  absolutely
• 9:44
  can.
• 9:45
  And
• 9:45
  both
• 9:46
  of
• 9:46
  my
• 9:46
  parents
• 9:46
  are
• 9:46
  smokers.
• 9:48
  So,
• 9:49
  yes,
• 9:49
  it
• 9:49
  was
• 9:49
  like,
• 9:49
  okay,
• 9:50
  we
• 9:50
  can't
• 9:50
  go
• 9:50
  to
• 9:50
  your
• 9:50
  house
• 9:51
  anymore
• 9:51
  because
• 9:51
  you
• 9:52
  smoke
• 9:52
  in
• 9:52
  your
• 9:52
  house.
• 9:52
  Secondhand
• 9:53
  smoke
• 9:53
  is
• 9:53
  a
• 9:53
  thing.
• 9:54
  And
• 9:54
  then
• 9:54
  I
• 9:54
  was
• 9:55
  like,
• 9:55
  and
• 9:55
  if
• 9:55
  you
• 9:55
  come
• 9:55
  to
• 9:55
  my
• 9:56
  house,
• 9:56
  these
• 9:56
  are
• 9:56
  the
• 9:57
  rules,
• 9:57
  you
• 9:58
  know,
• 9:58
  and
• 9:58
  we
• 9:58
  know
• 9:58
  that
• 9:58
  narcissists
• 9:59
  do
• 9:59
  not
• 9:59
  do
• 9:59
  boundaries
• 10:00
  well.
• 10:01
  Right?
• 10:02
  So
• 10:02
  that's
• 10:02
  where
• 10:02
  the
• 10:02
  fighting
• 10:03
  really
• 10:03
  started.
• 10:04
  It's
• 10:04
  like,
• 10:04
  oh,
• 10:04
  I'll
• 10:04
  just
• 10:05
  step
• 10:05
  outside
• 10:05
  and
• 10:05
  have
• 10:05
  a
• 10:05
  cigarette.
• 10:06
  And
• 10:06
  it's
• 10:06
  like,
• 10:06
  no,
• 10:06
  because
• 10:07
  then
• 10:07
  the
• 10:07
  smoke
• 10:07
  is
• 10:07
  still
• 10:07
  on
• 10:08
  your
• 10:08
  clothes.
• 10:08
  And
• 10:09
  I
• 10:09
  was
• 10:09
  like,
• 10:09
  and
• 10:09
  you're
• 10:09
  going
• 10:09
  to
• 10:10
  have
• 10:10
  to
• 10:10
  have
• 10:10
  showered,
• 10:10
  put
• 10:11
  on
• 10:11
  new
• 10:11
  clothes
• 10:12
  and
• 10:12
  all.
• 10:12
  Like,
• 10:12
  I
• 10:12
  gave
• 10:13
  him
• 10:13
  the
• 10:13
  list
• 10:13
  of,
• 10:13
  you
• 10:13
  know,
• 10:14
  my
• 10:14
  non
• 10:14
  negotiables,
• 10:15
  and
• 10:15
  as
• 10:15
  you
• 10:15
  can
• 10:16
  imagine,
• 10:16
  did
• 10:17
  not
• 10:17
  go
• 10:17
  well.
• 10:17
  And
• 10:17
  that's
• 10:18
  what
• 10:18
  led
• 10:18
  to
• 10:18
  that,
• 10:18
  that
• 10:18
  conversation,
• 10:19
  you
• 10:19
  know,
• 10:19
  it
• 10:19
  was
• 10:20
  a
• 10:20
  lot
• 10:20
  of,
• 10:20
  well,
• 10:20
  you
• 10:21
  can't
• 10:21
  keep
• 10:21
  your
• 10:21
  kids
• 10:21
  in
• 10:22
  a
• 10:22
  bubble
• 10:22
  and
• 10:22
  what
• 10:22
  are
• 10:23
  you
• 10:23
  going
• 10:23
  to
• 10:23
  do
• 10:23
  going,
• 10:23
  you
• 10:23
  know,
• 10:23
  all
• 10:24
  the,
• 10:24
  the
• 10:24
  stupid
• 10:25
  little
• 10:25
  trope
• 10:25
  things
• 10:25
  that,
• 10:26
  you
• 10:26
  know,
• 10:26
  nurses
• 10:27
  will
• 10:27
  bring
• 10:27
  out.
• 10:27
  And
• 10:27
  so
• 10:28
  I
• 10:28
  was
• 10:28
  like,
• 10:28
  we'll
• 10:28
  go
• 10:28
  to
• 10:28
  hell.
• 10:28
  I
• 10:29
  was
• 10:29
  like,
• 10:29
  I'm
• 10:29
  going
• 10:29
  to
• 10:29
  protect
• 10:29
  my
• 10:29
  kids.
• 10:31
  So
• 10:31
  what
• 10:31
  I
• 10:32
  wouldn't
• 10:33
  do
• 10:33
  for
• 10:33
  myself,
• 10:34
  I
• 10:34
  did
• 10:34
  for
• 10:34
  my
• 10:35
  kids.
• 10:36
  And
• 10:36
  sometimes
• 10:37
  that's
• 10:37
  what
• 10:37
  it
• 10:37
  takes.
• 10:38
  A
• 10:38
  lot
• 10:38
  of
• 10:38
  times,
• 10:38
  that's
• 10:38
  what
• 10:39
  it
• 10:39
  takes.
• 10:39
  That's
• 10:40
  what
• 10:40
  it
• 10:40
  takes,
• 10:41
  you
• 10:41
  know,
• 10:41
  leaving
• 10:41
  that
• 10:41
  narcissistic
• 10:42
  spouse
• 10:43
  or
• 10:43
  leaving
• 10:43
  the,
• 10:44
  you
• 10:44
  know,
• 10:44
  leaving
• 10:44
  the
• 10:45
  toxic
• 10:45
  household
• 10:46
  or
• 10:46
  the
• 10:46
  addiction
• 10:47
  or.
• 10:47
  I
• 10:47
  mean,
• 10:47
  a
• 10:47
  lot
• 10:47
  of
• 10:48
  people
• 10:48
  do
• 10:48
  that
• 10:48
  for
• 10:48
  their
• 10:49
  children.
• 10:49
  And
• 10:49
  I,
• 10:50
  I,
• 10:51
  I,
• 10:51
  I
• 10:51
  love
• 10:52
  that
• 10:52
  you
• 10:52
  did
• 10:52
  that.
• 10:52
  Because
• 10:53
  there's
• 10:53
  nothing
• 10:53
  worse
• 10:54
  for
• 10:54
  me.
• 10:54
  Hearing
• 10:55
  someone,
• 10:55
  I'm
• 10:56
  talking
• 10:56
  to
• 10:56
  a
• 10:56
  child
• 10:56
  and
• 10:57
  they'll
• 10:57
  say,
• 10:58
  or
• 10:58
  an
• 10:58
  adult
• 10:58
  child,
• 10:59
  and
• 10:59
  they're
• 10:59
  34.
• 11:00
  And
• 11:00
  then
• 11:00
  I'll
• 11:00
  say,
• 11:00
  well,
• 11:00
  when
• 11:01
  did
• 11:01
  your
• 11:01
  parents
• 11:01
  get
• 11:01
  divorced?
• 11:02
  And
• 11:02
  they'll
• 11:02
  say
• 11:03
  something
• 11:03
  kind
• 11:03
  of
• 11:03
  similar
• 11:03
  to
• 11:04
  my
• 11:04
  situation.
• 11:04
  Like,
• 11:05
  oh,
• 11:05
  well,
• 11:06
  they
• 11:06
  told
• 11:06
  us
• 11:07
  they
• 11:07
  were
• 11:07
  getting
• 11:07
  divorced
• 11:08
  in
• 11:08
  first
• 11:08
  grade,
• 11:08
  but
• 11:08
  they
• 11:09
  didn't
• 11:09
  actually
• 11:09
  separate
• 11:10
  until
• 11:10
  ninth
• 11:10
  grade
• 11:10
  because
• 11:10
  they
• 11:11
  wanted
• 11:11
  to
• 11:11
  stay
• 11:11
  together
• 11:11
  for
• 11:12
  the
• 11:12
  kids.
• 11:13
  Like,
• 11:13
  I
• 11:13
  always
• 11:14
  want
• 11:14
  to
• 11:14
  go,
• 11:14
  yes.
• 11:16
  No,
• 11:16
  that's
• 11:17
  the
• 11:17
  worst
• 11:17
  thing.
• 11:17
  I
• 11:17
  remember
• 11:18
  growing
• 11:19
  up,
• 11:19
  we
• 11:19
  would
• 11:19
  ask
• 11:20
  my
• 11:20
  mom,
• 11:20
  like,
• 11:21
  why
• 11:21
  are
• 11:21
  you
• 11:21
  still
• 11:21
  together?
• 11:22
  And
• 11:22
  then
• 11:22
  it
• 11:22
  was
• 11:22
  like,
• 11:23
  oh,
• 11:23
  but
• 11:23
  if
• 11:24
  I
• 11:24
  separate,
• 11:24
  he's
• 11:25
  going
• 11:25
  to
• 11:25
  take
• 11:25
  you
• 11:25
  guys
• 11:25
  from
• 11:26
  me.
• 11:26
  And
• 11:26
  then
• 11:26
  as
• 11:26
  we
• 11:26
  all
• 11:27
  became
• 11:27
  adults,
• 11:28
  you
• 11:28
  know,
• 11:28
  we'd
• 11:28
  ask,
• 11:29
  okay,
• 11:29
  we're
• 11:29
  all
• 11:29
  adults
• 11:30
  now.
• 11:30
  Now
• 11:30
  what?
• 11:31
  And
• 11:31
  that's
• 11:31
  when
• 11:31
  we
• 11:31
  realized
• 11:32
  she
• 11:32
  made
• 11:32
  the
• 11:33
  conscious
• 11:33
  decision
• 11:33
  to
• 11:34
  stay
• 11:34
  because
• 11:34
  she
• 11:34
  wanted
• 11:35
  to
• 11:35
  stay.
• 11:35
  And
• 11:36
  that
• 11:36
  was
• 11:36
  a
• 11:36
  whole
• 11:36
  other
• 11:36
  can
• 11:37
  of
• 11:37
  worms
• 11:37
  that
• 11:37
  we
• 11:37
  had
• 11:37
  to
• 11:38
  deal
• 11:38
  with.
• 11:38
  Exactly,
• 11:39
  exactly.
• 11:40
  So
• 11:40
  you
• 11:40
  did
• 11:40
  it
• 11:40
  for
• 11:40
  your
• 11:41
  kids.
• 11:41
  So
• 11:41
  that
• 11:41
  was
• 11:41
  when
• 11:42
  you
• 11:42
  literally
• 11:42
  started
• 11:43
  setting
• 11:43
  the
• 11:43
  boundaries
• 11:44
  and
• 11:45
  not
• 11:45
  feeling
• 11:45
  bad,
• 11:46
  which
• 11:46
  now
• 11:47
  I'm
• 11:47
  sure
• 11:47
  you're
• 11:47
  probably
• 11:48
  like,
• 11:48
  wow,
• 11:48
  I
• 11:48
  can
• 11:48
  be
• 11:49
  unapologetically
• 11:50
  me.
• 11:50
  Like,
• 11:51
  this
• 11:51
  is
• 11:51
  so
• 11:51
  cool.
• 11:52
  Like,
• 11:52
  I
• 11:52
  can
• 11:52
  set
• 11:53
  boundaries.
• 11:53
  I
• 11:53
  can
• 11:53
  do
• 11:54
  that.
• 11:55
  So
• 11:55
  talk
• 11:55
  about
• 11:56
  what
• 11:56
  it
• 11:56
  looks
• 11:56
  like
• 11:57
  on
• 11:57
  a
• 11:57
  day
• 11:57
  to
• 11:57
  day
• 11:58
  basis
• 11:58
  because
• 11:59
  the
• 11:59
  journey
• 12:00
  is
• 12:00
  never
• 12:00
  over.
• 12:01
  You're
• 12:01
  always
• 12:02
  going
• 12:02
  to
• 12:02
  find
• 12:02
  these
• 12:03
  things.
• 12:03
  You're
• 12:03
  always
• 12:04
  going
• 12:04
  to
• 12:04
  kind
• 12:04
  of
• 12:04
  live
• 12:05
  in
• 12:05
  those
• 12:05
  shot.
• 12:05
  Not,
• 12:05
  I
• 12:06
  don't
• 12:06
  want
• 12:06
  to
• 12:06
  say
• 12:06
  live
• 12:06
  in
• 12:06
  the
• 12:06
  shadows
• 12:07
  and
• 12:07
  not
• 12:07
  always,
• 12:07
  but
• 12:08
  people
• 12:08
  have
• 12:08
  memories
• 12:09
  and
• 12:09
  they're,
• 12:09
  they,
• 12:10
  they
• 12:10
  sit
• 12:11
  deep.
• 12:11
  So
• 12:12
  this,
• 12:12
  the,
• 12:12
  the
• 12:13
  triggers,
• 12:13
  the,
• 12:13
  the
• 12:14
  day
• 12:14
  to
• 12:14
  day
• 12:14
  things
• 12:15
  that
• 12:15
  come
• 12:15
  up.
• 12:15
  How
• 12:15
  do
• 12:16
  you
• 12:16
  navigate
• 12:17
  that
• 12:17
  and
• 12:17
  how
• 12:18
  do
• 12:18
  you,
• 12:18
  what
• 12:18
  are
• 12:18
  some
• 12:19
  tips
• 12:19
  you
• 12:19
  can
• 12:19
  give
• 12:20
  people
• 12:20
  to
• 12:21
  navigate
• 12:21
  that?
• 12:22
  Yeah,
• 12:23
  100%.
• 12:23
  And
• 12:24
  it
• 12:24
  definitely
• 12:24
  is,
• 12:24
  I
• 12:24
  mean,
• 12:25
  even
• 12:25
  seven
• 12:25
  years
• 12:25
  out,
• 12:26
  I'm
• 12:26
  still
• 12:26
  triggered.
• 12:26
  I
• 12:26
  had
• 12:27
  in
• 12:27
  a
• 12:27
  situation
• 12:27
  last
• 12:28
  year
• 12:28
  where
• 12:29
  I
• 12:29
  was
• 12:29
  in
• 12:29
  a
• 12:30
  group
• 12:30
  setting
• 12:30
  and
• 12:30
  there
• 12:31
  was
• 12:31
  this
• 12:31
  one
• 12:31
  individual
• 12:32
  who
• 12:32
  drove
• 12:32
  me
• 12:32
  bananas.
• 12:33
  And
• 12:33
  I,
• 12:33
  you
• 12:33
  know,
• 12:34
  anger
• 12:34
  is
• 12:34
  something
• 12:34
  I've
• 12:35
  had
• 12:35
  to
• 12:35
  learn
• 12:35
  to
• 12:35
  control
• 12:36
  because
• 12:36
  of
• 12:36
  the
• 12:36
  anger,
• 12:37
  the
• 12:37
  guilt
• 12:37
  and
• 12:37
  all
• 12:37
  that.
• 12:38
  And
• 12:39
  I
• 12:39
  sat
• 12:39
  there
• 12:39
  and
• 12:39
  I
• 12:39
  talked
• 12:40
  to
• 12:40
  my
• 12:40
  husband
• 12:40
  for
• 12:40
  a
• 12:40
  while.
• 12:40
  I'm
• 12:41
  like,
• 12:41
  why
• 12:41
  does
• 12:41
  this
• 12:41
  one
• 12:41
  man
• 12:42
  make
• 12:42
  me
• 12:42
  so
• 12:42
  angry?
• 12:43
  And
• 12:44
  I
• 12:44
  start
• 12:44
  talking
• 12:45
  about
• 12:45
  the
• 12:45
  interaction
• 12:46
  with
• 12:46
  my
• 12:46
  husband
• 12:47
  and
• 12:47
  I
• 12:47
  stop
• 12:48
  like
• 12:48
  mid
• 12:48
  sentence
• 12:49
  and
• 12:49
  I'm
• 12:49
  like,
• 12:49
  oh.
• 12:49
  I
• 12:50
  was
• 12:50
  like,
• 12:50
  he
• 12:50
  reminds
• 12:51
  me
• 12:51
  of
• 12:51
  my
• 12:51
  father.
• 12:52
  So
• 12:52
  I
• 12:52
  think
• 12:53
  it
• 12:53
  is
• 12:54
  recognizing
• 12:55
  when
• 12:55
  somebody
• 12:56
  gets
• 12:56
  under
• 12:56
  your
• 12:56
  skin
• 12:56
  and
• 12:57
  you're
• 12:57
  not
• 12:57
  sure
• 12:57
  why.
• 12:58
  Talk
• 12:58
  it
• 12:59
  out
• 12:59
  loud,
• 12:59
  talk
• 12:59
  it
• 12:59
  out
• 12:59
  with
• 13:00
  a
• 13:00
  trusted
• 13:00
  person
• 13:00
  and
• 13:01
  then
• 13:01
  eventually
• 13:01
  it'll
• 13:01
  kind
• 13:02
  of
• 13:02
  have
• 13:02
  your
• 13:02
  light
• 13:02
  bulb
• 13:03
  moment,
• 13:03
  like,
• 13:03
  oh,
• 13:03
  that's
• 13:04
  why.
• 13:04
  Or
• 13:04
  this
• 13:05
  situation
• 13:05
  reminds
• 13:06
  me
• 13:06
  of
• 13:07
  this.
• 13:07
  Or
• 13:07
  you
• 13:07
  start
• 13:08
  to
• 13:08
  notice
• 13:08
  that
• 13:08
  you
• 13:08
  do
• 13:09
  certain
• 13:09
  things
• 13:10
  because
• 13:11
  of
• 13:11
  the
• 13:11
  way
• 13:11
  you
• 13:12
  grew
• 13:12
  up.
• 13:12
  Like
• 13:12
  there's
• 13:13
  still
• 13:13
  things
• 13:13
  seven
• 13:13
  years
• 13:14
  later.
• 13:14
  And
• 13:14
  my
• 13:14
  husband
• 13:15
  was
• 13:15
  with
• 13:15
  me
• 13:16
  when
• 13:16
  I
• 13:16
  went.
• 13:16
  No
• 13:16
  contact.
• 13:17
  So
• 13:17
  he
• 13:17
  saw
• 13:18
  the
• 13:18
  before
• 13:18
  and
• 13:19
  after.
• 13:19
  And
• 13:20
  you
• 13:20
  know,
• 13:20
  he
• 13:20
  knows
• 13:20
  my
• 13:20
  father,
• 13:21
  my
• 13:21
  family
• 13:21
  very
• 13:21
  well.
• 13:22
  And
• 13:23
  we
• 13:24
  were
• 13:24
  just
• 13:24
  having
• 13:24
  a
• 13:24
  conversation
• 13:25
  the
• 13:25
  other
• 13:25
  night
• 13:25
  and
• 13:26
  something
• 13:26
  came
• 13:26
  out
• 13:26
  and
• 13:27
  I
• 13:27
  was
• 13:27
  like,
• 13:27
  oh
• 13:27
  yeah,
• 13:27
  like
• 13:27
  dinner
• 13:28
  times.
• 13:28
  We
• 13:28
  didn't
• 13:28
  talk.
• 13:28
  It
• 13:28
  was
• 13:29
  pure
• 13:29
  silence.
• 13:29
  My
• 13:29
  father
• 13:30
  didn't
• 13:30
  like
• 13:30
  an
• 13:30
  talking.
• 13:31
  Now,
• 13:31
  mind
• 13:31
  you,
• 13:31
  I've
• 13:32
  been
• 13:32
  with
• 13:32
  my
• 13:32
  husband
• 13:32
  all
• 13:32
  these
• 13:32
  years
• 13:33
  and
• 13:33
  he's
• 13:33
  like,
• 13:33
  really?
• 13:34
  He's
• 13:34
  like,
• 13:34
  I
• 13:34
  didn't
• 13:34
  know
• 13:35
  that.
• 13:35
  And
• 13:35
  I'm
• 13:35
  like,
• 13:35
  oh.
• 13:35
  And
• 13:36
  it
• 13:36
  was
• 13:36
  something
• 13:36
  that
• 13:36
  just
• 13:36
  came
• 13:37
  out.
• 13:37
  Like
• 13:37
  you'll
• 13:37
  have
• 13:37
  these
• 13:38
  little
• 13:38
  things
• 13:38
  just
• 13:39
  come
• 13:39
  out
• 13:39
  and
• 13:39
  you're
• 13:39
  like,
• 13:40
  I
• 13:40
  never
• 13:40
  told
• 13:40
  you
• 13:40
  that.
• 13:41
  I'm
• 13:41
  like,
• 13:41
  yeah,
• 13:41
  that's
• 13:41
  why
• 13:41
  I
• 13:41
  don't
• 13:41
  like
• 13:42
  a
• 13:42
  quiet
• 13:42
  dinner
• 13:42
  table.
• 13:43
  And
• 13:43
  I
• 13:43
  make
• 13:43
  sure
• 13:43
  everybody
• 13:44
  talks
• 13:44
  and
• 13:44
  we
• 13:44
  ask
• 13:44
  questions,
• 13:45
  and
• 13:45
  it's
• 13:46
  just
• 13:46
  the
• 13:46
  little
• 13:46
  things
• 13:46
  that
• 13:47
  you
• 13:47
  do
• 13:47
  now
• 13:47
  as
• 13:47
  an
• 13:48
  adult
• 13:48
  that
• 13:48
  you're
• 13:48
  like,
• 13:49
  oh,
• 13:49
  I
• 13:49
  do
• 13:49
  this
• 13:50
  because
• 13:50
  of
• 13:50
  this.
• 13:50
  Or
• 13:51
  I
• 13:51
  know
• 13:52
  in
• 13:52
  my
• 13:52
  household,
• 13:53
  my
• 13:53
  dad
• 13:53
  was
• 13:54
  always
• 13:54
  served
• 13:54
  dinner
• 13:55
  first
• 13:55
  and
• 13:55
  the
• 13:56
  kids
• 13:56
  were
• 13:56
  served
• 13:56
  last.
• 13:57
  So
• 13:57
  I've
• 13:57
  noticed
• 13:58
  in
• 13:58
  my
• 13:58
  marriage,
• 13:58
  I
• 13:59
  always
• 13:59
  serve
• 13:59
  my
• 13:59
  kids
• 13:59
  first
• 14:00
  and
• 14:00
  my
• 14:00
  husband
• 14:00
  last,
• 14:01
  if
• 14:01
  I
• 14:01
  even
• 14:01
  serve
• 14:01
  him
• 14:02
  at
• 14:02
  all,
• 14:02
  because
• 14:02
  he
• 14:02
  might
• 14:02
  just
• 14:02
  get
• 14:03
  up
• 14:03
  and
• 14:03
  get
• 14:03
  his
• 14:03
  own
• 14:03
  stuff.
• 14:04
  In
• 14:05
  my
• 14:05
  culture,
• 14:05
  too,
• 14:06
  It's.
• 14:06
  It's
• 14:06
  kind
• 14:07
  of
• 14:07
  disrespectful.
• 14:08
  I've
• 14:08
  had
• 14:08
  my
• 14:08
  grandmother's
• 14:09
  like,
• 14:09
  well,
• 14:09
  why
• 14:09
  don't
• 14:09
  you
• 14:10
  serve
• 14:10
  your
• 14:10
  husband
• 14:10
  first?
• 14:11
  And
• 14:11
  I'm
• 14:11
  like,
• 14:11
  no.
• 14:12
  I
• 14:12
  was
• 14:12
  like,
• 14:12
  my
• 14:12
  kids
• 14:12
  come
• 14:13
  first.
• 14:13
  And
• 14:14
  he
• 14:14
  knows
• 14:14
  that.
• 14:14
  So
• 14:15
  it's.
• 14:15
  It's
• 14:15
  just
• 14:15
  funny
• 14:15
  how
• 14:15
  those
• 14:16
  little
• 14:16
  tiny
• 14:17
  nuances,
• 14:17
  right?
• 14:18
  The
• 14:18
  things
• 14:18
  you
• 14:18
  don't
• 14:18
  think
• 14:18
  about
• 14:19
  on
• 14:19
  a
• 14:19
  daily
• 14:19
  basis,
• 14:20
  they
• 14:20
  come
• 14:20
  into
• 14:21
  play.
• 14:22
  So
• 14:22
  it's
• 14:22
  little
• 14:23
  fun
• 14:23
  things
• 14:24
  like
• 14:24
  that,
• 14:24
  and
• 14:24
  just
• 14:24
  being
• 14:24
  aware,
• 14:25
  like,
• 14:25
  this
• 14:25
  comes
• 14:26
  from
• 14:26
  this.
• 14:26
  And
• 14:26
  I
• 14:27
  think
• 14:27
  once
• 14:27
  you
• 14:27
  can
• 14:28
  make
• 14:28
  the
• 14:28
  connection
• 14:28
  between
• 14:29
  what
• 14:29
  you
• 14:29
  went
• 14:29
  through
• 14:30
  to
• 14:30
  your
• 14:30
  present
• 14:31
  time.
• 14:32
  Not
• 14:32
  saying
• 14:32
  that
• 14:33
  the
• 14:33
  anger
• 14:33
  and
• 14:33
  the
• 14:34
  guilt
• 14:34
  or
• 14:35
  even
• 14:35
  holidays
• 14:35
  for
• 14:36
  me
• 14:36
  are
• 14:36
  particularly
• 14:36
  tricky
• 14:37
  too,
• 14:37
  obviously,
• 14:37
  like
• 14:38
  Mother's
• 14:38
  Day,
• 14:38
  Father's
• 14:39
  Day.
• 14:39
  Because
• 14:39
  you'll
• 14:40
  go
• 14:40
  on
• 14:40
  social
• 14:40
  media
• 14:41
  and
• 14:42
  everybody
• 14:42
  will
• 14:42
  be
• 14:43
  saying
• 14:43
  all
• 14:43
  these
• 14:43
  wonderful
• 14:44
  things
• 14:44
  about
• 14:44
  their
• 14:44
  parents
• 14:44
  on.
• 14:45
  On
• 14:45
  those
• 14:45
  days.
• 14:46
  Those
• 14:46
  are
• 14:47
  days
• 14:47
  where
• 14:47
  I
• 14:47
  just
• 14:47
  might
• 14:48
  not
• 14:48
  go
• 14:48
  on
• 14:48
  social
• 14:48
  media
• 14:49
  because
• 14:49
  maybe
• 14:50
  it's
• 14:50
  triggering,
• 14:51
  you
• 14:51
  know,
• 14:51
  and
• 14:52
  knowing
• 14:52
  yourself
• 14:53
  enough
• 14:53
  to
• 14:54
  know
• 14:54
  how
• 14:54
  much
• 14:54
  you
• 14:54
  can
• 14:54
  take,
• 14:55
  I
• 14:55
  think.
• 14:56
  Yep.
• 14:56
  And
• 14:56
  I
• 14:57
  always
• 14:57
  give,
• 14:57
  like,
• 14:58
  the
• 14:58
  people
• 14:58
  that
• 14:58
  I
• 14:58
  work
• 14:58
  with
• 14:59
  write
• 14:59
  it
• 14:59
  down
• 14:59
  when
• 15:00
  something
• 15:00
  just
• 15:01
  hits
• 15:01
  you
• 15:01
  kind
• 15:02
  of
• 15:02
  funny,
• 15:02
  and
• 15:02
  you
• 15:02
  just
• 15:02
  get
• 15:03
  that
• 15:03
  weird
• 15:03
  feeling,
• 15:03
  you
• 15:04
  know,
• 15:04
  and
• 15:04
  you
• 15:04
  get
• 15:04
  it.
• 15:04
  Your
• 15:05
  body
• 15:05
  will
• 15:05
  physiologically
• 15:06
  react.
• 15:06
  Like,
• 15:06
  you'll
• 15:07
  be
• 15:07
  like,
• 15:07
  whoa.
• 15:07
  You
• 15:08
  know,
• 15:08
  like,
• 15:08
  why
• 15:08
  did
• 15:08
  I
• 15:09
  think
• 15:09
  that?
• 15:09
  Why
• 15:09
  did
• 15:09
  I
• 15:09
  say
• 15:10
  that?
• 15:10
  Why
• 15:10
  did
• 15:10
  I
• 15:10
  act
• 15:11
  like
• 15:11
  that?
• 15:11
  Like,
• 15:11
  why
• 15:12
  did
• 15:12
  I
• 15:12
  get
• 15:12
  angry
• 15:12
  at
• 15:13
  that?
• 15:13
  That
• 15:13
  was
• 15:13
  not,
• 15:13
  you
• 15:14
  know,
• 15:14
  write
• 15:14
  it
• 15:14
  down
• 15:14
  and
• 15:15
  then
• 15:15
  go
• 15:15
  home
• 15:15
  and
• 15:15
  like
• 15:16
  you
• 15:16
  said,
• 15:16
  talk
• 15:16
  it
• 15:17
  out
• 15:17
  loud.
• 15:17
  Talk
• 15:17
  it
• 15:17
  out
• 15:18
  with
• 15:18
  someone.
• 15:19
  I
• 15:19
  always
• 15:20
  tell
• 15:20
  people
• 15:20
  to
• 15:20
  write
• 15:20
  it
• 15:20
  down.
• 15:21
  And
• 15:21
  I
• 15:21
  have.
• 15:21
  I'm
• 15:22
  a
• 15:22
  writer.
• 15:22
  Because
• 15:22
  otherwise
• 15:23
  you
• 15:23
  get
• 15:23
  home
• 15:23
  and
• 15:23
  you'll
• 15:23
  be
• 15:23
  like,
• 15:24
  what
• 15:24
  was
• 15:24
  that
• 15:24
  again?
• 15:24
  You
• 15:25
  know?
• 15:25
  Yes.
• 15:26
  Or
• 15:26
  leave
• 15:26
  a
• 15:26
  voice
• 15:27
  note
• 15:27
  on
• 15:27
  your
• 15:27
  phone
• 15:27
  real
• 15:27
  quick.
• 15:28
  I've
• 15:28
  done
• 15:28
  that.
• 15:28
  I'm
• 15:28
  like,
• 15:28
  hold
• 15:29
  on,
• 15:29
  I
• 15:29
  gotta,
• 15:29
  like,
• 15:30
  unpack
• 15:30
  this
• 15:30
  later.
• 15:31
  Yes,
• 15:31
  unpack
• 15:32
  this
• 15:32
  later.
• 15:32
  Exactly.
• 15:33
  But
• 15:34
  the
• 15:34
  important
• 15:34
  thing
• 15:35
  is,
• 15:35
  is
• 15:35
  that
• 15:35
  you
• 15:35
  unpack
• 15:36
  them
• 15:36
  all.
• 15:37
  Yeah.
• 15:37
  Oh,
• 15:37
  gosh.
• 15:38
  Holidays,
• 15:38
  when
• 15:38
  you
• 15:39
  mentioned
• 15:39
  the
• 15:39
  holidays.
• 15:39
  That
• 15:40
  brings
• 15:40
  up
• 15:40
  so
• 15:40
  much
• 15:40
  for
• 15:41
  me.
• 15:41
  We
• 15:41
  were
• 15:41
  just
• 15:41
  talking
• 15:41
  about
• 15:41
  that
• 15:42
  yesterday
• 15:42
  because
• 15:42
  Everybody's
• 15:43
  like,
• 15:43
  oh,
• 15:43
  St.
• 15:43
  Patrick's
• 15:44
  Day
• 15:44
  is
• 15:44
  like
• 15:44
  my
• 15:44
  best
• 15:45
  holiday
• 15:45
  and
• 15:45
  blah,
• 15:46
  blah,
• 15:46
  blah.
• 15:46
  And
• 15:46
  I'm
• 15:47
  like,
• 15:47
  oh.
• 15:48
  I
• 15:48
  was
• 15:48
  like,
• 15:48
  I
• 15:49
  can
• 15:49
  remember
• 15:49
  growing
• 15:49
  up
• 15:50
  and
• 15:50
  being
• 15:50
  dragged
• 15:51
  every
• 15:51
  St.
• 15:51
  Patrick's
• 15:52
  Day
• 15:52
  to
• 15:52
  an
• 15:52
  Irish
• 15:53
  bar.
• 15:53
  And
• 15:54
  you
• 15:54
  ever
• 15:54
  know
• 15:54
  that,
• 15:54
  you
• 15:54
  know
• 15:55
  that
• 15:55
  song
• 15:55
  the
• 15:55
  Green
• 15:55
  Alligator
• 15:56
  and
• 15:56
  Long
• 15:56
  Neck
• 15:57
  Geese?
• 15:57
  And
• 15:57
  I
• 15:58
  used
• 15:58
  to
• 15:58
  have
• 15:58
  to
• 15:58
  get
• 15:58
  up
• 15:59
  and
• 15:59
  sing
• 15:59
  it
• 15:59
  on
• 16:00
  these
• 16:00
  stages
• 16:00
  at
• 16:00
  this
• 16:01
  Irish
• 16:01
  bar
• 16:01
  while
• 16:02
  my
• 16:02
  parents
• 16:02
  were
• 16:02
  getting
• 16:02
  drunker
• 16:03
  and
• 16:03
  drunker
• 16:03
  and
• 16:03
  I
• 16:04
  was
• 16:04
  like,
• 16:04
  oh,
• 16:04
  gosh,
• 16:04
  it
• 16:04
  was
• 16:05
  humiliating.
• 16:06
  So
• 16:06
  every
• 16:06
  St.
• 16:06
  Patrick's
• 16:07
  Day,
• 16:07
  I
• 16:07
  mean,
• 16:07
  and
• 16:07
  I
• 16:08
  still
• 16:08
  work
• 16:08
  in
• 16:08
  a
• 16:08
  bar
• 16:08
  part
• 16:09
  time
• 16:09
  and
• 16:11
  it's
• 16:11
  like
• 16:12
  awful.
• 16:12
  I
• 16:12
  never
• 16:13
  work
• 16:13
  St.
• 16:13
  Patrick's
• 16:13
  Day.
• 16:14
  I
• 16:14
  never
• 16:14
  really
• 16:14
  though
• 16:15
  all
• 16:15
  the
• 16:15
  drinking
• 16:15
  holidays.
• 16:17
  You
• 16:17
  know,
• 16:17
  I'm
• 16:17
  more
• 16:17
  on
• 16:18
  social
• 16:18
  media
• 16:19
  saying,
• 16:19
  you
• 16:19
  know,
• 16:20
  be
• 16:20
  aware
• 16:20
  of
• 16:20
  the
• 16:21
  children
• 16:21
  around
• 16:21
  you
• 16:22
  because
• 16:23
  when,
• 16:23
  when
• 16:23
  you
• 16:23
  see
• 16:24
  a
• 16:24
  lost
• 16:24
  child
• 16:25
  or,
• 16:25
  you
• 16:25
  know,
• 16:25
  an
• 16:26
  8
• 16:26
  year
• 16:26
  old
• 16:26
  by
• 16:26
  themselves,
• 16:27
  there's
• 16:27
  a
• 16:27
  good
• 16:27
  chance
• 16:28
  mom's
• 16:28
  asleep
• 16:28
  on
• 16:28
  the
• 16:29
  beach
• 16:29
  right
• 16:29
  now.
• 16:32
  100.
• 16:33
  Yes,
• 16:34
  I,
• 16:35
  it's.
• 16:35
  And
• 16:35
  it's
• 16:36
  definitely,
• 16:36
  I
• 16:36
  know
• 16:36
  in
• 16:36
  my
• 16:37
  life
• 16:37
  too,
• 16:37
  like,
• 16:37
  particularly
• 16:38
  with
• 16:38
  children,
• 16:38
  that's
• 16:39
  obviously
• 16:39
  why
• 16:39
  I
• 16:39
  do
• 16:40
  what
• 16:40
  I
• 16:40
  do,
• 16:40
  because
• 16:40
  I
• 16:41
  have
• 16:41
  four
• 16:41
  kids
• 16:42
  and
• 16:42
  I've
• 16:43
  gotten
• 16:43
  into
• 16:43
  the
• 16:43
  public
• 16:43
  education
• 16:44
  system.
• 16:44
  I
• 16:44
  even
• 16:45
  worked
• 16:45
  corrections
• 16:45
  for
• 16:46
  a
• 16:46
  time
• 16:46
  too.
• 16:47
  And
• 16:47
  that's
• 16:47
  where
• 16:47
  like
• 16:47
  the
• 16:48
  CYC
• 16:48
  breaking
• 16:48
  for
• 16:49
  me
• 16:49
  kind
• 16:49
  of
• 16:49
  started
• 16:49
  too.
• 16:49
  Because,
• 16:50
  you
• 16:51
  know,
• 16:51
  working
• 16:51
  in
• 16:51
  public
• 16:51
  education,
• 16:52
  working
• 16:52
  in
• 16:52
  the
• 16:52
  correction
• 16:53
  System,
• 16:53
  you
• 16:53
  can
• 16:54
  98%
• 16:55
  of
• 16:55
  the
• 16:55
  time
• 16:56
  trace
• 16:56
  it
• 16:56
  back
• 16:57
  to
• 16:57
  something
• 16:58
  in
• 16:58
  childhood,
• 16:58
  something
• 16:58
  with
• 16:59
  the
• 16:59
  parents.
• 16:59
  And
• 16:59
  it's
• 16:59
  like,
• 17:00
  if
• 17:00
  we
• 17:00
  could
• 17:00
  be
• 17:01
  more
• 17:01
  preventative.
• 17:01
  I
• 17:01
  think
• 17:02
  like
• 17:02
  you
• 17:02
  said,
• 17:02
  being
• 17:02
  aware
• 17:03
  of
• 17:03
  that
• 17:03
  lost
• 17:04
  kid
• 17:04
  on
• 17:04
  the
• 17:04
  beach,
• 17:04
  like
• 17:05
  you
• 17:05
  could
• 17:05
  be
• 17:05
  that
• 17:06
  positive
• 17:06
  influence
• 17:07
  in
• 17:07
  their
• 17:07
  life
• 17:07
  that
• 17:07
  maybe
• 17:08
  they
• 17:08
  don't
• 17:09
  turn
• 17:09
  out
• 17:09
  like
• 17:09
  me
• 17:09
  and
• 17:09
  you.
• 17:10
  Right?
• 17:10
  That's,
• 17:11
  that's
• 17:11
  pretty
• 17:12
  much,
• 17:12
  that
• 17:12
  is,
• 17:12
  that's
• 17:13
  my.
• 17:13
  I
• 17:13
  always
• 17:14
  tell
• 17:14
  my
• 17:14
  kids,
• 17:15
  or
• 17:15
  anytime
• 17:16
  I'm
• 17:16
  interviewed,
• 17:16
  I'm
• 17:17
  like,
• 17:17
  my
• 17:17
  goal
• 17:18
  is
• 17:18
  to
• 17:18
  make
• 17:18
  sure
• 17:18
  that
• 17:18
  20
• 17:19
  years
• 17:19
  from
• 17:19
  now
• 17:19
  my
• 17:19
  kids
• 17:20
  aren't
• 17:20
  sitting
• 17:20
  on
• 17:20
  a
• 17:20
  therapist's
• 17:21
  couch
• 17:21
  talking
• 17:21
  bad
• 17:22
  about
• 17:22
  me.
• 17:22
  Now,
• 17:22
  mind
• 17:23
  you,
• 17:23
  we
• 17:23
  can't
• 17:23
  parent
• 17:23
  perfectly,
• 17:24
  right?
• 17:24
  There's,
• 17:24
  there's
• 17:25
  going
• 17:25
  to
• 17:25
  be
• 17:25
  something
• 17:25
  we
• 17:25
  did
• 17:25
  wrong.
• 17:27
  But
• 17:27
  I
• 17:27
  try.
• 17:27
  At
• 17:27
  least
• 17:28
  when
• 17:28
  I'm
• 17:28
  wrong,
• 17:28
  I
• 17:28
  apologize.
• 17:29
  And
• 17:30
  I'm
• 17:30
  sure
• 17:30
  they
• 17:30
  might
• 17:31
  have
• 17:31
  something
• 17:31
  to
• 17:31
  say
• 17:31
  about
• 17:32
  me
• 17:32
  in
• 17:32
  20
• 17:32
  years.
• 17:33
  But,
• 17:33
  you
• 17:33
  know,
• 17:33
  not
• 17:33
  that
• 17:34
  I
• 17:34
  was
• 17:34
  a,
• 17:34
  a
• 17:34
  narcissist
• 17:35
  or
• 17:35
  an
• 17:36
  alcoholic
• 17:36
  that
• 17:37
  couldn't
• 17:37
  function
• 17:38
  as
• 17:38
  a
• 17:38
  human
• 17:38
  being
• 17:39
  is
• 17:39
  my
• 17:39
  goal.
• 17:40
  Right?
• 17:40
  And
• 17:41
  you
• 17:41
  think
• 17:41
  about
• 17:41
  it
• 17:41
  too,
• 17:41
  and
• 17:41
  it's
• 17:42
  kind
• 17:42
  of
• 17:42
  the
• 17:42
  Same
• 17:43
  thing
• 17:43
  with
• 17:43
  me.
• 17:43
  Like,
• 17:44
  I
• 17:44
  knew
• 17:44
  that
• 17:44
  things
• 17:45
  were
• 17:45
  violently
• 17:47
  misaligned
• 17:48
  When
• 17:48
  I
• 17:48
  was
• 17:48
  24
• 17:49
  years
• 17:49
  old,
• 17:49
  25
• 17:50
  years
• 17:50
  old,
• 17:50
  I
• 17:50
  had
• 17:50
  bleeding
• 17:51
  ulcers
• 17:51
  from
• 17:51
  stress.
• 17:52
  I
• 17:52
  was
• 17:52
  partying
• 17:53
  too
• 17:53
  much.
• 17:53
  I
• 17:54
  had
• 17:54
  zero
• 17:54
  respect
• 17:54
  for
• 17:55
  my
• 17:55
  own
• 17:55
  body.
• 17:55
  I
• 17:55
  mean,
• 17:56
  like,
• 17:56
  I
• 17:56
  knew
• 17:56
  all
• 17:56
  that
• 17:56
  stuff
• 17:57
  was
• 17:57
  going
• 17:57
  on,
• 17:57
  but
• 17:57
  it
• 17:58
  wasn't
• 17:58
  until
• 17:58
  I
• 17:58
  was
• 17:59
  26,
• 18:00
  getting
• 18:00
  ready
• 18:00
  to
• 18:00
  have
• 18:00
  my
• 18:01
  first
• 18:01
  child.
• 18:01
  And
• 18:01
  I
• 18:01
  was
• 18:02
  reading
• 18:02
  that
• 18:02
  book,
• 18:02
  love
• 18:03
  you
• 18:03
  forever.
• 18:04
  And
• 18:04
  it
• 18:04
  was
• 18:04
  that
• 18:04
  book
• 18:05
  about
• 18:05
  like,
• 18:07
  probably
• 18:07
  read
• 18:07
  it
• 18:07
  a
• 18:07
  thousand
• 18:08
  times.
• 18:08
  I.
• 18:08
  I
• 18:09
  still
• 18:09
  have
• 18:09
  three
• 18:09
  copies
• 18:10
  and,
• 18:11
  and
• 18:11
  I'm
• 18:12
  57.
• 18:12
  Well,
• 18:12
  I
• 18:13
  will
• 18:13
  be
• 18:13
  this
• 18:13
  month.
• 18:14
  But
• 18:15
  yeah,
• 18:15
  that
• 18:16
  was
• 18:16
  when
• 18:16
  I'm
• 18:16
  like
• 18:16
  rocking
• 18:17
  back
• 18:17
  and
• 18:17
  forth
• 18:17
  and
• 18:18
  I'm
• 18:18
  sitting
• 18:18
  here
• 18:18
  and
• 18:18
  I'm
• 18:19
  like
• 18:19
  picturing
• 18:20
  I
• 18:20
  didn't
• 18:20
  know
• 18:20
  whether
• 18:21
  I
• 18:21
  was
• 18:21
  having
• 18:21
  a
• 18:21
  boy
• 18:21
  or
• 18:21
  a
• 18:22
  girl,
• 18:22
  but
• 18:22
  all
• 18:22
  of
• 18:22
  a
• 18:22
  sudden
• 18:22
  I
• 18:22
  was
• 18:23
  like,
• 18:23
  oh
• 18:23
  my
• 18:24
  God.
• 18:24
  It
• 18:24
  like
• 18:24
  hit
• 18:24
  me
• 18:24
  like
• 18:25
  a
• 18:25
  two
• 18:25
  by
• 18:25
  four.
• 18:25
  I'm
• 18:26
  like,
• 18:26
  I
• 18:26
  don't
• 18:26
  even
• 18:26
  understand
• 18:27
  what
• 18:27
  unconditional
• 18:28
  love
• 18:28
  feels
• 18:28
  like.
• 18:30
  So
• 18:30
  that
• 18:30
  is
• 18:30
  what
• 18:31
  jump
• 18:31
  started
• 18:32
  me
• 18:32
  into
• 18:32
  my
• 18:33
  journey.
• 18:33
  So
• 18:33
  of
• 18:33
  course,
• 18:34
  it
• 18:34
  was
• 18:34
  the
• 18:34
  very
• 18:35
  beginning.
• 18:36
  So,
• 18:36
  yeah.
• 18:36
  Did
• 18:37
  my
• 18:37
  kids
• 18:37
  take
• 18:37
  the
• 18:37
  brunt
• 18:37
  of
• 18:38
  a
• 18:38
  lot
• 18:38
  of
• 18:38
  it?
• 18:38
  They
• 18:39
  took
• 18:39
  the
• 18:39
  brunt
• 18:39
  of
• 18:39
  my
• 18:40
  healing,
• 18:40
  they
• 18:40
  took
• 18:40
  the
• 18:41
  brunt
• 18:41
  of
• 18:41
  my
• 18:41
  growth.
• 18:42
  They
• 18:42
  took
• 18:42
  the
• 18:43
  brunt
• 18:43
  of
• 18:43
  me
• 18:43
  not
• 18:43
  knowing
• 18:44
  what
• 18:44
  I
• 18:44
  didn't
• 18:44
  know.
• 18:46
  But
• 18:46
  I
• 18:47
  always,
• 18:47
  you
• 18:47
  know,
• 18:47
  every
• 18:48
  time
• 18:48
  I
• 18:48
  would
• 18:48
  feel
• 18:48
  down
• 18:49
  about
• 18:49
  it
• 18:49
  and
• 18:49
  I
• 18:50
  would
• 18:50
  start
• 18:50
  to
• 18:50
  be
• 18:50
  like,
• 18:50
  oh
• 18:50
  my
• 18:51
  gosh,
• 18:51
  the
• 18:51
  first
• 18:51
  five
• 18:52
  years
• 18:52
  I
• 18:52
  had
• 18:52
  no
• 18:52
  boundaries
• 18:53
  with
• 18:53
  my
• 18:53
  kids.
• 18:53
  I
• 18:53
  didn't
• 18:54
  do
• 18:54
  this,
• 18:54
  I
• 18:54
  didn't
• 18:54
  do
• 18:54
  that.
• 18:55
  I
• 18:56
  kept
• 18:56
  just
• 18:56
  saying
• 18:56
  to
• 18:57
  myself,
• 18:57
  like,
• 18:57
  Tammy,
• 18:58
  you're
• 18:58
  doing
• 18:58
  the,
• 18:58
  you're
• 18:58
  doing
• 18:59
  better
• 19:00
  every
• 19:00
  day.
• 19:01
  And
• 19:01
  they
• 19:01
  see
• 19:01
  that
• 19:02
  and
• 19:02
  they're
• 19:03
  growing
• 19:03
  along
• 19:04
  with
• 19:04
  you.
• 19:04
  Like,
• 19:05
  so,
• 19:05
  you
• 19:06
  know,
• 19:06
  for
• 19:06
  the
• 19:06
  parents
• 19:07
  and
• 19:07
  the
• 19:07
  people
• 19:07
  that
• 19:08
  are
• 19:08
  out
• 19:08
  there
• 19:08
  watching,
• 19:09
  never
• 19:09
  beat
• 19:10
  yourself
• 19:10
  up
• 19:10
  for
• 19:10
  where
• 19:11
  you
• 19:11
  are
• 19:13
  because
• 19:13
  you
• 19:13
  didn't
• 19:14
  know
• 19:14
  what
• 19:14
  you
• 19:14
  didn't
• 19:14
  know.
• 19:14
  Just
• 19:15
  like
• 19:15
  I
• 19:15
  didn't
• 19:15
  know
• 19:15
  what
• 19:15
  I
• 19:16
  didn't
• 19:16
  know
• 19:16
  and
• 19:16
  you
• 19:16
  didn't,
• 19:17
  you
• 19:17
  know,
• 19:17
  Becky
• 19:17
  didn't
• 19:18
  know
• 19:18
  what
• 19:18
  she
• 19:18
  didn't
• 19:18
  know.
• 19:19
  Like,
• 19:20
  you
• 19:20
  learn
• 19:20
  and
• 19:21
  you
• 19:21
  grow.
• 19:21
  And
• 19:23
  a
• 19:23
  lot
• 19:23
  of
• 19:23
  times,
• 19:23
  I
• 19:24
  would
• 19:24
  say
• 19:24
  a
• 19:24
  whole
• 19:25
  lot
• 19:25
  of
• 19:25
  times
• 19:25
  it
• 19:25
  is
• 19:26
  becoming
• 19:26
  a
• 19:26
  parent
• 19:27
  that
• 19:27
  goes,
• 19:28
  wow,
• 19:28
  I
• 19:28
  want
• 19:29
  to
• 19:29
  not
• 19:29
  be
• 19:30
  my
• 19:30
  parents.
• 19:31
  I
• 19:31
  want
• 19:31
  to
• 19:31
  not.
• 19:32
  And
• 19:32
  at
• 19:32
  the
• 19:33
  same
• 19:33
  time,
• 19:33
  I'm
• 19:34
  sure
• 19:34
  you
• 19:34
  also
• 19:35
  probably
• 19:35
  went
• 19:35
  into
• 19:36
  it
• 19:36
  like,
• 19:36
  I'm
• 19:36
  going
• 19:36
  to
• 19:36
  do
• 19:37
  the
• 19:37
  exact
• 19:37
  opposite
• 19:37
  that
• 19:37
  my
• 19:38
  parents
• 19:38
  did.
• 19:40
  That's
• 19:41
  not
• 19:41
  the
• 19:41
  answer
• 19:42
  either.
• 19:42
  You
• 19:42
  know,
• 19:43
  there
• 19:43
  needs
• 19:43
  to
• 19:43
  be
• 19:43
  a
• 19:44
  happy
• 19:44
  medium
• 19:44
  and
• 19:45
  you
• 19:45
  have
• 19:46
  to
• 19:46
  find
• 19:46
  that
• 19:46
  middle.
• 19:47
  But
• 19:49
  it's
• 19:49
  100.
• 19:50
  No,
• 19:51
  it
• 19:51
  is
• 19:51
  funny.
• 19:52
  I
• 19:52
  joke
• 19:52
  about
• 19:53
  that
• 19:53
  because
• 19:53
  what
• 19:53
  you
• 19:53
  said
• 19:54
  it
• 19:54
  Hit
• 19:55
  me
• 19:55
  so.
• 19:55
  Well,
• 19:55
  because
• 19:55
  my
• 19:56
  kids,
• 19:57
  I
• 19:57
  had
• 19:57
  my
• 19:57
  first
• 19:57
  when
• 19:57
  I
• 19:57
  was
• 19:58
  19.
• 19:59
  So
• 19:59
  I've
• 19:59
  got
• 19:59
  a
• 19:59
  very
• 19:59
  large
• 20:00
  age
• 20:00
  gap
• 20:00
  with
• 20:01
  my
• 20:01
  kids.
• 20:01
  My
• 20:01
  oldest
• 20:01
  is
• 20:02
  actually
• 20:02
  22.
• 20:03
  I've
• 20:03
  got
• 20:03
  a
• 20:03
  13
• 20:03
  year
• 20:04
  old,
• 20:04
  a
• 20:04
  10
• 20:04
  year
• 20:04
  old,
• 20:05
  and
• 20:05
  an
• 20:05
  almost
• 20:05
  4
• 20:05
  year
• 20:06
  old.
• 20:06
  Yes,
• 20:07
  I
• 20:07
  did
• 20:07
  that
• 20:07
  on
• 20:07
  purpose.
• 20:09
  And
• 20:10
  it's
• 20:10
  funny
• 20:10
  because
• 20:10
  now
• 20:11
  I
• 20:11
  can
• 20:11
  joke
• 20:11
  about
• 20:11
  it
• 20:11
  with
• 20:12
  my
• 20:12
  oldest
• 20:12
  because
• 20:13
  he'll
• 20:13
  say,
• 20:13
  oh,
• 20:13
  I
• 20:13
  was
• 20:13
  the
• 20:13
  test
• 20:14
  tube,
• 20:14
  you
• 20:14
  know,
• 20:14
  the
• 20:14
  test
• 20:15
  baby.
• 20:15
  And
• 20:16
  I'm
• 20:16
  like,
• 20:16
  yeah,
• 20:16
  you
• 20:16
  kind
• 20:16
  of
• 20:17
  were.
• 20:17
  I'm
• 20:17
  like,
• 20:17
  we
• 20:17
  grew
• 20:17
  up
• 20:18
  together.
• 20:18
  I
• 20:18
  was
• 20:18
  like,
• 20:18
  I
• 20:19
  was
• 20:19
  going
• 20:19
  through
• 20:20
  the
• 20:20
  thick
• 20:20
  of
• 20:20
  a
• 20:21
  lot
• 20:21
  of
• 20:21
  it,
• 20:22
  you
• 20:22
  know,
• 20:22
  and
• 20:22
  not
• 20:23
  having
• 20:23
  any
• 20:23
  boundaries,
• 20:23
  not
• 20:24
  even
• 20:24
  aware
• 20:25
  of
• 20:25
  what
• 20:25
  was
• 20:25
  going
• 20:26
  on
• 20:26
  when
• 20:27
  he
• 20:27
  was,
• 20:27
  you
• 20:27
  know,
• 20:27
  in
• 20:27
  his
• 20:28
  formative
• 20:28
  years.
• 20:28
  I
• 20:28
  mean,
• 20:29
  he
• 20:29
  was.
• 20:29
  Was
• 20:30
  he
• 20:30
  13?
• 20:31
  No,
• 20:31
  he
• 20:32
  was
• 20:32
  8
• 20:32
  when
• 20:32
  I
• 20:33
  went.
• 20:33
  No
• 20:33
  contact,
• 20:33
  you
• 20:34
  know,
• 20:34
  so
• 20:34
  he
• 20:34
  has
• 20:34
  memories
• 20:35
  of
• 20:35
  my
• 20:35
  parents
• 20:36
  and
• 20:36
  the
• 20:36
  things
• 20:36
  that
• 20:37
  went
• 20:37
  on.
• 20:39
  My
• 20:39
  youngest
• 20:40
  has
• 20:40
  never
• 20:40
  even
• 20:40
  met
• 20:40
  my
• 20:41
  parents.
• 20:41
  So
• 20:42
  that's
• 20:42
  the.
• 20:42
  The
• 20:42
  juxtaposition
• 20:43
  there,
• 20:43
  like
• 20:43
  the
• 20:44
  two
• 20:44
  extremes.
• 20:45
  Right.
• 20:45
  So
• 20:45
  I
• 20:45
  can
• 20:46
  literally
• 20:46
  look
• 20:46
  at
• 20:46
  my
• 20:46
  kids
• 20:47
  and,
• 20:47
  like,
• 20:47
  see,
• 20:48
  like,
• 20:48
  the
• 20:49
  evolution
• 20:49
  of
• 20:49
  my
• 20:49
  parenting.
• 20:50
  I
• 20:50
  call
• 20:50
  it
• 20:50
  my
• 20:50
  own
• 20:51
  social
• 20:51
  experiment.
• 20:52
  And,
• 20:53
  you
• 20:53
  know,
• 20:53
  but
• 20:54
  it
• 20:54
  literally
• 20:54
  is
• 20:55
  like,
• 20:55
  you
• 20:55
  know,
• 20:55
  I
• 20:55
  mean,
• 20:55
  my
• 20:55
  23,
• 20:56
  he's
• 20:56
  fine.
• 20:56
  But,
• 20:57
  you
• 20:57
  know,
• 20:57
  even
• 20:57
  now
• 20:58
  I'm
• 20:58
  like,
• 20:58
  dude,
• 20:58
  maybe
• 20:59
  you
• 20:59
  should
• 20:59
  go
• 20:59
  to
• 20:59
  therapy
• 21:00
  too.
• 21:00
  And
• 21:00
  I
• 21:00
  try
• 21:00
  and
• 21:01
  I
• 21:01
  apologize.
• 21:01
  I
• 21:01
  think
• 21:02
  that's
• 21:02
  the
• 21:02
  biggest
• 21:02
  thing.
• 21:03
  Because
• 21:03
  a
• 21:03
  narcissist,
• 21:04
  someone
• 21:04
  who
• 21:04
  is
• 21:04
  toxic
• 21:05
  and
• 21:05
  abusive,
• 21:05
  they
• 21:06
  will
• 21:06
  never
• 21:06
  apologize
• 21:07
  for
• 21:07
  their
• 21:07
  behavior
• 21:08
  because
• 21:08
  they
• 21:08
  will
• 21:08
  never
• 21:08
  see
• 21:09
  that
• 21:09
  they
• 21:09
  did
• 21:09
  anything
• 21:10
  wrong.
• 21:10
  And
• 21:10
  I
• 21:10
  think
• 21:10
  that's
• 21:11
  the
• 21:11
  difference
• 21:11
  between
• 21:11
  us
• 21:12
  as
• 21:12
  parents
• 21:12
  now,
• 21:13
  because
• 21:13
  they'll
• 21:13
  say,
• 21:14
  hey,
• 21:14
  I
• 21:14
  messed
• 21:14
  up.
• 21:14
  I
• 21:14
  shouldn't
• 21:14
  have
• 21:15
  done
• 21:15
  this.
• 21:15
  This
• 21:15
  way,
• 21:16
  we
• 21:16
  give
• 21:16
  our
• 21:16
  kids
• 21:16
  what
• 21:17
  we
• 21:17
  would
• 21:17
  never
• 21:17
  have
• 21:17
  gotten.
• 21:18
  And
• 21:18
  I
• 21:18
  think
• 21:18
  that's.
• 21:19
  That's
• 21:19
  the
• 21:19
  big
• 21:19
  distinction
• 21:20
  there
• 21:20
  for
• 21:20
  sure.
• 21:21
  Right,
• 21:21
  Right.
• 21:22
  And
• 21:22
  when.
• 21:22
  And
• 21:23
  I'm
• 21:23
  sure,
• 21:23
  like,
• 21:23
  when.
• 21:24
  Yes,
• 21:24
  and
• 21:24
  I'm
• 21:24
  not
• 21:24
  going
• 21:24
  to
• 21:24
  keep
• 21:25
  harshly
• 21:25
  hashing
• 21:25
  on
• 21:26
  this
• 21:26
  out,
• 21:26
  but
• 21:27
  I
• 21:27
  know,
• 21:27
  like,
• 21:28
  I'll
• 21:28
  see
• 21:28
  something
• 21:28
  on
• 21:28
  TV
• 21:29
  and
• 21:29
  be
• 21:29
  like,
• 21:29
  you
• 21:29
  should
• 21:29
  never
• 21:30
  say
• 21:30
  this
• 21:30
  to
• 21:30
  your
• 21:30
  children.
• 21:31
  And
• 21:31
  I'm
• 21:31
  like,
• 21:31
  oh,
• 21:32
  I
• 21:32
  said
• 21:32
  that
• 21:32
  a
• 21:32
  lot.
• 21:33
  You
• 21:34
  know,
• 21:34
  that
• 21:34
  old
• 21:34
  saying,
• 21:35
  like,
• 21:35
  why
• 21:35
  can't
• 21:36
  I.
• 21:36
  Well,
• 21:36
  because
• 21:36
  I
• 21:36
  said
• 21:36
  so.
• 21:38
  That
• 21:38
  was
• 21:38
  probably
• 21:38
  one
• 21:38
  of
• 21:39
  the
• 21:39
  biggest
• 21:39
  ones.
• 21:39
  And
• 21:39
  I
• 21:40
  go,
• 21:40
  oh,
• 21:40
  my
• 21:40
  God,
• 21:40
  how
• 21:40
  many
• 21:41
  times
• 21:41
  did
• 21:41
  I
• 21:41
  say
• 21:41
  that?
• 21:41
  And
• 21:42
  I
• 21:42
  can't
• 21:42
  take
• 21:42
  it
• 21:42
  back,
• 21:44
  but
• 21:45
  I
• 21:45
  just
• 21:45
  can't.
• 21:46
  But
• 21:46
  you
• 21:46
  know,
• 21:46
  now.
• 21:47
  And
• 21:47
  I
• 21:47
  mean,
• 21:47
  my
• 21:47
  kids
• 21:48
  are
• 21:48
  all
• 21:48
  like,
• 21:49
  as
• 21:49
  I
• 21:49
  got
• 21:49
  older,
• 21:50
  I'm
• 21:50
  like,
• 21:50
  because,
• 21:51
  you
• 21:51
  know,
• 21:51
  we
• 21:51
  don't
• 21:52
  do
• 21:52
  this
• 21:52
  and
• 21:52
  we
• 21:52
  don't.
• 21:52
  And
• 21:52
  I
• 21:52
  would
• 21:53
  explain,
• 21:53
  but
• 21:54
  I
• 21:54
  Grew
• 21:54
  up.
• 21:54
  And
• 21:54
  it
• 21:55
  was
• 21:55
  very.
• 21:55
  There
• 21:55
  was,
• 21:55
  it
• 21:56
  was
• 21:56
  black
• 21:56
  and
• 21:56
  white
• 21:56
  because
• 21:57
  I.
• 21:57
  Why
• 21:57
  are
• 21:57
  you
• 21:58
  questioning?
• 21:58
  Because
• 21:59
  I'm
• 21:59
  your
• 21:59
  mother.
• 21:59
  Like,
• 22:00
  you
• 22:00
  know
• 22:00
  what
• 22:00
  I
• 22:00
  mean?
• 22:01
  Exactly.
• 22:02
  Yep.
• 22:02
  Been
• 22:03
  there,
• 22:03
  done
• 22:03
  that.
• 22:05
  But
• 22:05
  again,
• 22:05
  you
• 22:06
  know,
• 22:06
  as
• 22:06
  they
• 22:06
  watch
• 22:07
  me,
• 22:07
  you
• 22:08
  know,
• 22:08
  my
• 22:08
  kids
• 22:08
  are
• 22:08
  very
• 22:08
  proud
• 22:09
  of
• 22:09
  what
• 22:09
  I
• 22:09
  do
• 22:09
  now.
• 22:09
  They're.
• 22:10
  My
• 22:10
  youngest
• 22:10
  is
• 22:10
  21,
• 22:11
  my
• 22:11
  oldest
• 22:12
  is
• 22:12
  30
• 22:13
  and
• 22:13
  he
• 22:13
  still
• 22:13
  lives
• 22:13
  with
• 22:14
  me.
• 22:14
  So,
• 22:14
  like,
• 22:14
  he's
• 22:14
  getting.
• 22:15
  Finishing
• 22:15
  up
• 22:15
  his
• 22:16
  pilot's
• 22:16
  license,
• 22:17
  so
• 22:17
  he's
• 22:18
  living
• 22:18
  with
• 22:18
  me
• 22:18
  for
• 22:18
  a
• 22:19
  while.
• 22:19
  And
• 22:20
  we're
• 22:20
  good.
• 22:20
  We're
• 22:21
  good.
• 22:21
  You
• 22:21
  know,
• 22:21
  but,
• 22:23
  but
• 22:23
  wow.
• 22:23
  Yes.
• 22:24
  How
• 22:24
  your,
• 22:25
  your
• 22:25
  habits
• 22:26
  that
• 22:26
  you,
• 22:27
  that
• 22:28
  you
• 22:28
  just
• 22:28
  develop
• 22:29
  and
• 22:29
  these,
• 22:30
  these
• 22:30
  things
• 22:30
  that
• 22:31
  you
• 22:31
  become
• 22:31
  part
• 22:32
  of
• 22:32
  you,
• 22:33
  they're
• 22:33
  coping
• 22:34
  mechanisms
• 22:34
  and
• 22:34
  the,
• 22:35
  the
• 22:35
  triggers
• 22:35
  and,
• 22:36
  but
• 22:37
  give
• 22:37
  me
• 22:37
  some
• 22:38
  tips.
• 22:39
  So
• 22:39
  besides
• 22:39
  being
• 22:40
  aware,
• 22:40
  obviously.
• 22:41
  So
• 22:42
  when
• 22:42
  you
• 22:42
  work
• 22:42
  with
• 22:42
  your
• 22:42
  people,
• 22:43
  what
• 22:43
  are
• 22:43
  some
• 22:43
  things?
• 22:44
  Like
• 22:44
  if
• 22:44
  they
• 22:44
  get,
• 22:45
  if
• 22:45
  they
• 22:45
  realize,
• 22:46
  like,
• 22:46
  hey,
• 22:46
  I
• 22:46
  keep
• 22:47
  doing
• 22:47
  this
• 22:47
  to
• 22:47
  my
• 22:47
  kid
• 22:48
  and
• 22:48
  I,
• 22:48
  I
• 22:48
  just
• 22:49
  don't
• 22:49
  want
• 22:49
  to,
• 22:49
  but
• 22:50
  I
• 22:50
  need
• 22:50
  to
• 22:50
  figure
• 22:51
  it
• 22:51
  out.
• 22:51
  What
• 22:51
  are
• 22:51
  some
• 22:51
  tips
• 22:52
  that
• 22:52
  you
• 22:52
  give
• 22:52
  them?
• 22:52
  Besides
• 22:53
  being
• 22:53
  aware?
• 22:54
  Yeah,
• 22:55
  no,
• 22:55
  I
• 22:55
  mean,
• 22:55
  awareness
• 22:55
  is
• 22:56
  the
• 22:56
  first
• 22:56
  step.
• 22:56
  And
• 22:56
  there
• 22:57
  are
• 22:57
  plenty
• 22:57
  of
• 22:57
  people,
• 22:57
  I
• 22:57
  think,
• 22:57
  that
• 22:57
  are
• 22:58
  aware,
• 22:58
  but
• 22:59
  they're
• 22:59
  still
• 22:59
  living
• 23:00
  in
• 23:00
  their
• 23:00
  victimhood.
• 23:01
  It's
• 23:01
  like,
• 23:01
  I
• 23:01
  can't
• 23:02
  move
• 23:02
  past
• 23:03
  it
• 23:03
  because
• 23:03
  this
• 23:03
  is
• 23:04
  what
• 23:04
  happened.
• 23:04
  And
• 23:04
  I
• 23:05
  think
• 23:05
  the
• 23:06
  biggest
• 23:06
  thing
• 23:06
  is
• 23:06
  owning
• 23:06
  that,
• 23:07
  like,
• 23:07
  owning
• 23:08
  this
• 23:08
  is
• 23:08
  how
• 23:08
  you
• 23:08
  grew
• 23:09
  up.
• 23:09
  Like,
• 23:10
  sit.
• 23:11
  And
• 23:11
  I
• 23:11
  think
• 23:11
  the
• 23:12
  anger,
• 23:12
  the
• 23:12
  guilt,
• 23:12
  whatever
• 23:13
  emotions
• 23:13
  come
• 23:13
  up
• 23:14
  for
• 23:14
  you.
• 23:14
  Absolutely.
• 23:14
  Like,
• 23:15
  sit
• 23:15
  with
• 23:15
  it,
• 23:15
  own
• 23:15
  it.
• 23:16
  You
• 23:16
  know,
• 23:16
  don't
• 23:16
  so
• 23:17
  many
• 23:17
  people
• 23:17
  like,
• 23:17
  oh,
• 23:17
  it's
• 23:18
  your
• 23:18
  childhood,
• 23:18
  just
• 23:18
  let
• 23:18
  it
• 23:19
  go,
• 23:19
  don't
• 23:19
  pretend.
• 23:20
  And
• 23:20
  I'm
• 23:20
  like,
• 23:20
  no,
• 23:20
  because
• 23:20
  all
• 23:20
  you're
• 23:21
  doing
• 23:21
  is
• 23:21
  burying
• 23:21
  something.
• 23:22
  Which,
• 23:23
  you
• 23:23
  know,
• 23:23
  I
• 23:24
  always
• 23:24
  say
• 23:24
  my
• 23:24
  biggest
• 23:24
  thing,
• 23:25
  what
• 23:25
  comes
• 23:25
  when
• 23:26
  you
• 23:26
  do
• 23:26
  in
• 23:26
  the
• 23:26
  dark,
• 23:26
  comes
• 23:26
  out
• 23:27
  in
• 23:27
  the
• 23:27
  light,
• 23:27
  right?
• 23:28
  It's
• 23:28
  going
• 23:28
  to
• 23:28
  come
• 23:29
  back
• 23:29
  up
• 23:29
  in
• 23:29
  some,
• 23:30
  some
• 23:30
  shape,
• 23:30
  form
• 23:30
  or
• 23:31
  fashion.
• 23:31
  So
• 23:31
  it's
• 23:31
  like
• 23:31
  owning
• 23:32
  it.
• 23:32
  And
• 23:32
  then
• 23:32
  it's
• 23:33
  like,
• 23:33
  okay,
• 23:33
  you
• 23:33
  own
• 23:34
  it,
• 23:34
  you
• 23:34
  acknowledge
• 23:34
  it.
• 23:35
  Now
• 23:35
  it's
• 23:35
  time
• 23:35
  to
• 23:35
  like,
• 23:35
  redesign
• 23:36
  that.
• 23:37
  What
• 23:37
  do
• 23:37
  you
• 23:37
  want
• 23:38
  life
• 23:38
  to
• 23:38
  be
• 23:38
  like?
• 23:39
  And
• 23:39
  then
• 23:39
  you
• 23:39
  need
• 23:39
  to
• 23:40
  actually
• 23:40
  live
• 23:40
  that
• 23:41
  life.
• 23:41
  So
• 23:41
  it's
• 23:42
  like,
• 23:42
  you
• 23:42
  know,
• 23:43
  and
• 23:43
  I'm
• 23:43
  a
• 23:43
  big
• 23:44
  person,
• 23:44
  you
• 23:44
  know,
• 23:45
  journaling,
• 23:45
  writing
• 23:46
  things
• 23:46
  down.
• 23:47
  So
• 23:47
  it's
• 23:47
  like,
• 23:48
  you
• 23:48
  know,
• 23:48
  do,
• 23:49
  you
• 23:49
  know,
• 23:49
  verbal
• 23:50
  vomit
• 23:50
  on
• 23:50
  a
• 23:50
  page?
• 23:51
  And
• 23:51
  then
• 23:51
  burn
• 23:52
  it,
• 23:52
  rip
• 23:53
  it
• 23:53
  up,
• 23:53
  flush
• 23:53
  it
• 23:53
  down
• 23:53
  the
• 23:54
  toilet,
• 23:54
  whatever
• 23:54
  it
• 23:54
  is
• 23:54
  that
• 23:54
  you
• 23:55
  need
• 23:55
  to
• 23:55
  do
• 23:55
  to
• 23:55
  get
• 23:55
  it
• 23:55
  out
• 23:55
  of
• 23:56
  your
• 23:56
  head,
• 23:56
  out
• 23:56
  of
• 23:56
  your
• 23:56
  space
• 23:57
  and
• 23:57
  away.
• 23:59
  That
• 23:59
  way
• 23:59
  you've
• 24:00
  actually
• 24:00
  dealt
• 24:00
  with
• 24:00
  it,
• 24:01
  you
• 24:01
  know,
• 24:01
  Because
• 24:01
  I
• 24:02
  think
• 24:02
  too
• 24:02
  many
• 24:03
  times,
• 24:03
  very
• 24:03
  well
• 24:03
  meaning
• 24:04
  therapists
• 24:04
  will
• 24:05
  tell
• 24:05
  us,
• 24:05
  okay,
• 24:05
  well,
• 24:06
  yes,
• 24:06
  this
• 24:07
  happened,
• 24:07
  and
• 24:07
  now
• 24:08
  it's
• 24:08
  time
• 24:08
  to
• 24:08
  move
• 24:08
  on.
• 24:09
  And
• 24:09
  then
• 24:09
  you're
• 24:09
  stuck
• 24:10
  because
• 24:10
  you're
• 24:10
  like,
• 24:10
  I'm
• 24:11
  not
• 24:11
  ready
• 24:11
  to
• 24:11
  move
• 24:11
  on
• 24:11
  yet,
• 24:11
  or
• 24:12
  it
• 24:12
  hasn't
• 24:12
  been
• 24:12
  talked
• 24:13
  about.
• 24:13
  Like,
• 24:13
  telling
• 24:14
  your
• 24:14
  story,
• 24:15
  you
• 24:15
  know,
• 24:15
  whether
• 24:16
  you
• 24:16
  do
• 24:16
  it
• 24:16
  publicly,
• 24:16
  like
• 24:17
  we're
• 24:17
  doing
• 24:17
  here,
• 24:18
  or
• 24:18
  privately
• 24:19
  with
• 24:19
  a
• 24:19
  trusted
• 24:19
  person
• 24:20
  and
• 24:20
  the
• 24:20
  support
• 24:20
  system.
• 24:21
  Like,
• 24:21
  you
• 24:21
  need
• 24:22
  a
• 24:22
  support
• 24:22
  system.
• 24:22
  I
• 24:23
  would
• 24:23
  say
• 24:23
  this
• 24:23
  was
• 24:23
  my
• 24:24
  number
• 24:24
  one
• 24:24
  mistake.
• 24:25
  I
• 24:25
  was
• 24:25
  like,
• 24:25
  I'm
• 24:25
  going
• 24:25
  to
• 24:26
  do
• 24:26
  this
• 24:26
  all
• 24:26
  by
• 24:26
  myself
• 24:27
  because
• 24:27
  I'm
• 24:27
  hyper
• 24:28
  independent
• 24:28
  because
• 24:29
  of
• 24:29
  the
• 24:29
  way
• 24:29
  that
• 24:29
  I
• 24:29
  grew
• 24:29
  up.
• 24:30
  I'm
• 24:30
  like,
• 24:30
  oh,
• 24:30
  I
• 24:30
  could
• 24:30
  do
• 24:30
  this,
• 24:31
  no
• 24:31
  problem.
• 24:32
  Yeah.
• 24:32
  No,
• 24:32
  that
• 24:33
  made
• 24:33
  my
• 24:33
  recovery.
• 24:34
  My
• 24:34
  recovery
• 24:35
  twice
• 24:35
  as
• 24:35
  long
• 24:36
  as
• 24:36
  what
• 24:36
  it
• 24:36
  needed
• 24:37
  to
• 24:37
  be.
• 24:38
  You
• 24:39
  know,
• 24:39
  I
• 24:39
  didn't
• 24:39
  lean
• 24:39
  on
• 24:39
  my
• 24:39
  husband
• 24:40
  enough,
• 24:41
  friends
• 24:41
  enough.
• 24:42
  Nobody
• 24:42
  knew
• 24:42
  what
• 24:42
  was
• 24:42
  going
• 24:43
  on.
• 24:43
  Like,
• 24:43
  now
• 24:44
  that
• 24:44
  I'm
• 24:44
  telling
• 24:44
  my
• 24:44
  story,
• 24:45
  people
• 24:45
  are
• 24:45
  coming
• 24:45
  out
• 24:45
  like,
• 24:46
  I
• 24:46
  had
• 24:46
  no
• 24:46
  idea.
• 24:47
  Right.
• 24:47
  And
• 24:48
  I'm
• 24:48
  like,
• 24:48
  that
• 24:49
  was
• 24:49
  the
• 24:49
  point.
• 24:49
  I
• 24:49
  didn't
• 24:50
  want
• 24:50
  people
• 24:50
  to
• 24:50
  know.
• 24:51
  Yeah.
• 24:52
  Yeah.
• 24:52
  So
• 24:52
  I
• 24:52
  think
• 24:53
  that
• 24:53
  would
• 24:53
  be
• 24:53
  the
• 24:53
  best
• 24:53
  thing,
• 24:54
  like
• 24:54
  having
• 24:54
  that
• 24:54
  support
• 24:54
  system,
• 24:55
  whoever
• 24:55
  that
• 24:55
  is,
• 24:56
  not
• 24:56
  the
• 24:56
  narcissist,
• 24:57
  not
• 24:57
  anybody
• 24:58
  who's
• 24:58
  friendly
• 24:58
  with
• 24:58
  the
• 24:58
  narcissist,
• 24:59
  because
• 24:59
  then
• 25:00
  they
• 25:00
  will
• 25:00
  try
• 25:00
  to
• 25:00
  talk
• 25:00
  you
• 25:01
  into
• 25:02
  going
• 25:02
  back
• 25:02
  and
• 25:03
  making
• 25:03
  amends
• 25:03
  or
• 25:04
  whatever
• 25:05
  it
• 25:05
  needs
• 25:05
  to
• 25:05
  be
• 25:06
  an
• 25:06
  objective
• 25:06
  third
• 25:06
  party
• 25:07
  would
• 25:08
  be
• 25:08
  my.
• 25:08
  My
• 25:09
  best
• 25:09
  advice
• 25:10
  to
• 25:10
  anybody.
• 25:11
  You
• 25:11
  know,
• 25:11
  I
• 25:11
  do
• 25:12
  this
• 25:12
  seminar
• 25:12
  called
• 25:13
  awakening
• 25:13
  yourself,
• 25:14
  your
• 25:14
  authentic
• 25:14
  self.
• 25:15
  And
• 25:15
  I
• 25:15
  talk
• 25:15
  so
• 25:15
  much
• 25:15
  about
• 25:16
  that,
• 25:16
  about
• 25:16
  having
• 25:16
  that
• 25:17
  support
• 25:17
  system
• 25:17
  and
• 25:18
  how
• 25:18
  important
• 25:18
  it
• 25:19
  is,
• 25:19
  because,
• 25:22
  you
• 25:22
  know,
• 25:22
  you
• 25:22
  can.
• 25:22
  It's
• 25:23
  like
• 25:23
  affirmations.
• 25:24
  You
• 25:24
  can
• 25:24
  do
• 25:25
  all
• 25:25
  the
• 25:25
  affirmations
• 25:26
  in
• 25:26
  the
• 25:26
  world.
• 25:26
  You
• 25:26
  can
• 25:26
  sit
• 25:27
  there
• 25:27
  and
• 25:27
  say,
• 25:27
  I
• 25:27
  am
• 25:27
  beautiful.
• 25:28
  I'm
• 25:28
  amazing.
• 25:28
  I
• 25:28
  am
• 25:29
  loved,
• 25:29
  I
• 25:29
  am
• 25:29
  lovable,
• 25:30
  and
• 25:30
  everything
• 25:30
  else.
• 25:30
  But
• 25:30
  if
• 25:31
  you
• 25:31
  don't
• 25:31
  truly
• 25:32
  believe
• 25:32
  it,
• 25:32
  at
• 25:33
  the
• 25:33
  end
• 25:33
  of
• 25:33
  the
• 25:33
  day,
• 25:33
  when
• 25:34
  the
• 25:34
  rubber
• 25:34
  hits
• 25:34
  the
• 25:34
  road
• 25:35
  and
• 25:35
  you
• 25:35
  got
• 25:35
  to
• 25:35
  make
• 25:35
  a
• 25:36
  decision,
• 25:36
  you're
• 25:37
  basing
• 25:37
  that
• 25:38
  your
• 25:38
  actions
• 25:39
  come
• 25:39
  from
• 25:40
  your
• 25:40
  subconscious
• 25:40
  mind,
• 25:41
  which
• 25:41
  is
• 25:41
  still
• 25:42
  saying,
• 25:42
  I
• 25:42
  don't
• 25:42
  believe
• 25:43
  it.
• 25:43
  So
• 25:44
  it's
• 25:44
  like
• 25:44
  when
• 25:44
  you
• 25:44
  try
• 25:44
  to
• 25:45
  do
• 25:45
  it
• 25:45
  yourself
• 25:45
  and
• 25:46
  you
• 25:46
  try
• 25:46
  to
• 25:46
  say,
• 25:47
  you
• 25:48
  know,
• 25:48
  you
• 25:48
  actually
• 25:49
  won't
• 25:49
  even
• 25:49
  do
• 25:49
  it
• 25:49
  yourself.
• 25:50
  You
• 25:50
  won't
• 25:51
  go
• 25:51
  through
• 25:51
  with
• 25:51
  it
• 25:51
  yourself
• 25:52
  because
• 25:52
  you're
• 25:52
  like,
• 25:53
  oh,
• 25:53
  I
• 25:53
  should
• 25:53
  be
• 25:53
  saying,
• 25:54
  I
• 25:54
  am
• 25:54
  beautiful,
• 25:54
  I
• 25:55
  am
• 25:55
  this,
• 25:55
  but
• 25:55
  I'm
• 25:55
  not.
• 25:56
  So
• 25:56
  you
• 25:56
  won't
• 25:57
  actually
• 25:57
  take
• 25:57
  the
• 25:57
  step.
• 25:58
  So
• 25:58
  it's
• 25:58
  like
• 25:58
  you
• 25:58
  need,
• 25:59
  like
• 25:59
  you
• 25:59
  said,
• 25:59
  that
• 26:00
  support
• 26:00
  system,
• 26:00
  someone
• 26:00
  to
• 26:01
  walk
• 26:01
  along
• 26:01
  with
• 26:01
  you
• 26:02
  and
• 26:02
  someone
• 26:02
  to
• 26:03
  hold
• 26:03
  you
• 26:03
  accountable.
• 26:04
  Because
• 26:04
  I
• 26:04
  think
• 26:04
  that's
• 26:05
  the.
• 26:05
  The
• 26:06
  number
• 26:06
  one
• 26:07
  is
• 26:07
  I
• 26:08
  was
• 26:08
  listening.
• 26:08
  Have
• 26:08
  you
• 26:08
  ever
• 26:08
  listened
• 26:09
  to
• 26:09
  Wayne
• 26:09
  Dyer?
• 26:10
  Yes.
• 26:11
  So
• 26:11
  I
• 26:12
  was
• 26:12
  re.
• 26:12
  I
• 26:12
  was
• 26:12
  rereading
• 26:13
  or
• 26:13
  re.
• 26:13
  Listening
• 26:13
  to
• 26:14
  in
• 26:14
  the
• 26:14
  car
• 26:14
  the
• 26:14
  other
• 26:14
  day,
• 26:14
  the.
• 26:15
  Your
• 26:15
  erroneous
• 26:16
  zones.
• 26:17
  And
• 26:18
  it's
• 26:18
  like
• 26:18
  you're.
• 26:19
  Oh,
• 26:19
  it's
• 26:20
  a
• 26:20
  good
• 26:20
  one.
• 26:20
  It's
• 26:20
  like,
• 26:20
  I
• 26:21
  think
• 26:21
  it's
• 26:21
  one
• 26:21
  is
• 26:21
  first,
• 26:22
  literally.
• 26:23
  But
• 26:23
  it's
• 26:24
  like.
• 26:24
  And
• 26:24
  it's.
• 26:24
  He.
• 26:25
  I
• 26:25
  laugh
• 26:25
  because
• 26:25
  he
• 26:26
  says
• 26:26
  it's
• 26:26
  not
• 26:26
  erogenous
• 26:27
  zones.
• 26:27
  It's
• 26:27
  not
• 26:27
  like
• 26:28
  a
• 26:28
  dirty
• 26:28
  book.
• 26:28
  It's
• 26:28
  erroneous
• 26:29
  zones,
• 26:29
  which
• 26:29
  just
• 26:30
  means
• 26:30
  error.
• 26:31
  And
• 26:31
  one
• 26:32
  of
• 26:32
  the
• 26:32
  biggest
• 26:32
  things
• 26:32
  that
• 26:33
  he
• 26:33
  talks
• 26:33
  about
• 26:33
  is
• 26:35
  you
• 26:36
  caring.
• 26:36
  And
• 26:37
  this
• 26:37
  is
• 26:37
  where
• 26:37
  we
• 26:37
  are
• 26:38
  as
• 26:38
  adult
• 26:38
  children
• 26:39
  is
• 26:39
  you
• 26:39
  care
• 26:39
  so
• 26:40
  much
• 26:40
  more
• 26:40
  about
• 26:40
  what
• 26:41
  other
• 26:41
  people
• 26:41
  think
• 26:41
  than
• 26:42
  what
• 26:42
  you
• 26:42
  think.
• 26:43
  Like
• 26:43
  you
• 26:43
  care
• 26:44
  so
• 26:44
  much
• 26:44
  more.
• 26:45
  And
• 26:45
  it's
• 26:45
  like,
• 26:46
  why?
• 26:47
  But
• 26:47
  the
• 26:47
  other
• 26:47
  thing
• 26:48
  he
• 26:48
  talks
• 26:48
  about,
• 26:48
  which
• 26:48
  makes
• 26:48
  me
• 26:49
  laugh
• 26:49
  is
• 26:49
  the
• 26:49
  expression,
• 26:51
  the
• 26:51
  idea
• 26:52
  that
• 26:52
  you
• 26:52
  don't
• 26:52
  have
• 26:52
  a
• 26:52
  choice
• 26:53
  how
• 26:53
  to
• 26:54
  act
• 26:54
  or
• 26:54
  how
• 26:54
  to
• 26:54
  respond
• 26:55
  or
• 26:55
  how
• 26:55
  to
• 26:55
  be
• 26:56
  that
• 26:56
  you
• 26:56
  just
• 26:57
  say,
• 26:57
  well,
• 26:57
  my
• 26:57
  parents
• 26:58
  were
• 26:59
  so
• 26:59
  I
• 26:59
  am.
• 27:00
  Period.
• 27:01
  And
• 27:02
  it's
• 27:02
  like,
• 27:02
  well,
• 27:02
  yeah,
• 27:03
  it's
• 27:03
  like
• 27:03
  say
• 27:03
  any.
• 27:04
  You
• 27:04
  know,
• 27:04
  he
• 27:04
  says
• 27:04
  it's
• 27:05
  like
• 27:05
  saying
• 27:05
  I'm
• 27:05
  Italian.
• 27:05
  Like,
• 27:06
  I
• 27:06
  have
• 27:06
  to
• 27:06
  get
• 27:06
  pissed
• 27:07
  off
• 27:07
  because
• 27:07
  I'm
• 27:07
  Italian.
• 27:08
  I
• 27:08
  have
• 27:08
  to
• 27:08
  have
• 27:08
  a
• 27:08
  temper.
• 27:09
  He's
• 27:09
  like,
• 27:09
  no,
• 27:09
  you
• 27:10
  weren't
• 27:10
  born
• 27:10
  with
• 27:10
  the
• 27:11
  temper
• 27:11
  genes.
• 27:11
  Like,
• 27:12
  like
• 27:12
  you
• 27:13
  still
• 27:13
  have
• 27:13
  a
• 27:13
  choice
• 27:14
  every
• 27:14
  single
• 27:14
  moment.
• 27:15
  So
• 27:16
  I,
• 27:16
  I
• 27:17
  love
• 27:17
  that
• 27:17
  you
• 27:17
  should
• 27:18
  listen
• 27:18
  to
• 27:18
  that
• 27:18
  book.
• 27:18
  It's
• 27:18
  really
• 27:19
  cool.
• 27:21
  But
• 27:21
  so,
• 27:22
  so
• 27:22
  you
• 27:22
  have
• 27:22
  them
• 27:23
  journal,
• 27:23
  you
• 27:23
  have
• 27:23
  them
• 27:24
  just
• 27:24
  be
• 27:25
  hyper
• 27:25
  aware,
• 27:25
  just
• 27:26
  know
• 27:26
  like
• 27:26
  feel
• 27:27
  it
• 27:27
  and
• 27:27
  then
• 27:27
  a
• 27:28
  support
• 27:28
  system.
• 27:28
  Any
• 27:29
  other
• 27:30
  tips?
• 27:32
  Yeah,
• 27:32
  I
• 27:32
  mean
• 27:32
  it
• 27:32
  depends
• 27:33
  on
• 27:33
  the
• 27:33
  person
• 27:33
  because
• 27:34
  everybody.
• 27:34
  My
• 27:34
  biggest
• 27:35
  thing,
• 27:35
  especially
• 27:35
  working
• 27:35
  in
• 27:36
  education,
• 27:36
  everybody's
• 27:37
  a
• 27:37
  different
• 27:37
  kind
• 27:37
  of
• 27:37
  learner.
• 27:38
  So
• 27:38
  whether
• 27:38
  you're
• 27:38
  auditory,
• 27:39
  visual,
• 27:40
  that
• 27:40
  sort
• 27:40
  of
• 27:41
  thing,
• 27:41
  some
• 27:41
  people
• 27:41
  do
• 27:42
  well
• 27:42
  with
• 27:42
  the
• 27:42
  visualization.
• 27:43
  I'm
• 27:43
  not
• 27:43
  a
• 27:43
  visualization
• 27:44
  person.
• 27:45
  Like
• 27:45
  when
• 27:45
  you
• 27:45
  tell
• 27:45
  me
• 27:45
  like
• 27:46
  meditate
• 27:46
  and
• 27:46
  picture
• 27:47
  that,
• 27:47
  I.
• 27:47
  I
• 27:48
  can't
• 27:48
  do
• 27:48
  it.
• 27:48
  It
• 27:48
  just
• 27:49
  doesn't
• 27:49
  work
• 27:49
  for
• 27:49
  me.
• 27:50
  But
• 27:50
  for
• 27:50
  some
• 27:50
  people
• 27:51
  it
• 27:51
  does.
• 27:51
  I
• 27:51
  did
• 27:51
  a
• 27:52
  workshop
• 27:52
  not
• 27:53
  too
• 27:53
  long
• 27:53
  ago
• 27:54
  and
• 27:54
  it
• 27:54
  was
• 27:55
  Disney
• 27:55
  themed.
• 27:55
  I
• 27:56
  can
• 27:56
  do
• 27:56
  a
• 27:56
  other
• 27:57
  spiel
• 27:57
  on
• 27:57
  Disney
• 27:58
  and
• 27:58
  what
• 27:58
  that's
• 27:58
  meant
• 27:58
  to
• 27:58
  me.
• 27:59
  But
• 27:59
  you
• 27:59
  know,
• 28:00
  I
• 28:00
  told
• 28:00
  people,
• 28:00
  like,
• 28:00
  envision
• 28:01
  yourself
• 28:01
  as
• 28:02
  your
• 28:02
  favorite
• 28:02
  superhero,
• 28:03
  whatever
• 28:03
  armor
• 28:04
  you
• 28:04
  need.
• 28:04
  And
• 28:04
  in
• 28:05
  that
• 28:05
  case,
• 28:05
  my
• 28:05
  superhero
• 28:06
  came
• 28:06
  to
• 28:06
  me
• 28:06
  pretty
• 28:07
  quickly.
• 28:07
  I
• 28:07
  was
• 28:07
  Iron
• 28:07
  man
• 28:08
  because
• 28:08
  I
• 28:08
  was
• 28:08
  putting
• 28:08
  on
• 28:08
  my
• 28:08
  suit
• 28:09
  of
• 28:09
  iron,
• 28:09
  right?
• 28:10
  And
• 28:10
  like
• 28:10
  you're
• 28:10
  going
• 28:10
  to
• 28:10
  go
• 28:11
  in
• 28:11
  and
• 28:11
  do
• 28:11
  battle.
• 28:11
  Like
• 28:12
  visualize
• 28:12
  that
• 28:12
  if
• 28:13
  that's
• 28:13
  what
• 28:13
  it
• 28:13
  takes.
• 28:14
  You
• 28:14
  know,
• 28:14
  if
• 28:14
  you're
• 28:14
  not
• 28:14
  a
• 28:14
  journaling
• 28:15
  person,
• 28:16
  some
• 28:16
  people
• 28:17
  are
• 28:17
  just
• 28:17
  a
• 28:17
  walking.
• 28:17
  I
• 28:17
  think
• 28:18
  it's
• 28:18
  learning
• 28:18
  what's
• 28:19
  going
• 28:19
  to
• 28:19
  work
• 28:19
  for
• 28:19
  you
• 28:20
  because
• 28:20
  everybody
• 28:20
  will
• 28:21
  have
• 28:21
  Their
• 28:21
  thing
• 28:22
  that
• 28:22
  they
• 28:22
  said,
• 28:22
  okay,
• 28:22
  this
• 28:23
  worked
• 28:23
  for
• 28:23
  me.
• 28:23
  Like
• 28:23
  you
• 28:23
  said,
• 28:24
  affirmations.
• 28:24
  I
• 28:25
  was
• 28:25
  the
• 28:25
  same
• 28:25
  way.
• 28:26
  I
• 28:26
  would
• 28:26
  sit
• 28:27
  there
• 28:27
  and
• 28:27
  look
• 28:27
  at
• 28:27
  myself
• 28:27
  in
• 28:28
  the
• 28:28
  mirror
• 28:28
  and
• 28:28
  say,
• 28:28
  affirmations.
• 28:29
  So
• 28:29
  I
• 28:29
  was
• 28:29
  blue
• 28:29
  in
• 28:30
  the
• 28:30
  face.
• 28:31
  It
• 28:31
  didn't
• 28:31
  work
• 28:31
  because
• 28:31
  I
• 28:32
  didn't
• 28:32
  believe
• 28:32
  it.
• 28:33
  Or
• 28:33
  I
• 28:33
  would
• 28:33
  listen
• 28:33
  to
• 28:34
  somebody
• 28:34
  else's
• 28:35
  affirmations,
• 28:35
  which
• 28:36
  is
• 28:36
  even
• 28:36
  worse
• 28:36
  because
• 28:36
  it
• 28:36
  needs
• 28:37
  to
• 28:37
  be
• 28:37
  in
• 28:37
  your
• 28:37
  own
• 28:37
  voice.
• 28:38
  If
• 28:38
  it's
• 28:38
  not
• 28:38
  in
• 28:38
  your
• 28:38
  own
• 28:39
  voice,
• 28:39
  forget
• 28:40
  about
• 28:40
  it.
• 28:40
  It's
• 28:41
  not
• 28:41
  going
• 28:41
  to
• 28:41
  sink
• 28:41
  in.
• 28:43
  So
• 28:43
  I
• 28:43
  think
• 28:44
  it's
• 28:44
  definitely
• 28:44
  finding
• 28:45
  what
• 28:45
  works
• 28:45
  for
• 28:45
  you,
• 28:45
  just
• 28:46
  like
• 28:46
  therapy
• 28:46
  did
• 28:47
  for
• 28:47
  me.
• 28:47
  I
• 28:47
  was
• 28:47
  in
• 28:48
  therapy
• 28:48
  for
• 28:48
  20
• 28:48
  years,
• 28:49
  tried
• 28:50
  at
• 28:50
  least
• 28:50
  10
• 28:50
  to
• 28:51
  15
• 28:51
  different
• 28:51
  therapists,
• 28:52
  and
• 28:53
  it
• 28:53
  was,
• 28:53
  again,
• 28:54
  pattern
• 28:54
  disruption.
• 28:55
  I
• 28:56
  always
• 28:56
  go
• 28:56
  back
• 28:56
  to
• 28:56
  that.
• 28:57
  I
• 28:57
  always
• 28:57
  picked
• 28:58
  the
• 28:58
  same
• 28:58
  kind
• 28:58
  of
• 28:59
  therapists.
• 28:59
  And
• 29:00
  then
• 29:00
  I
• 29:00
  was
• 29:00
  like,
• 29:00
  wait
• 29:00
  a
• 29:00
  minute.
• 29:00
  I'm
• 29:01
  going
• 29:01
  to
• 29:01
  try
• 29:01
  a
• 29:01
  completely
• 29:02
  different
• 29:02
  therapist
• 29:02
  that
• 29:03
  I
• 29:03
  would
• 29:03
  never
• 29:03
  pick.
• 29:04
  I
• 29:04
  ended
• 29:04
  up
• 29:04
  with
• 29:04
  a
• 29:05
  younger
• 29:05
  white
• 29:05
  guy.
• 29:06
  Never
• 29:06
  would
• 29:07
  have
• 29:07
  picked
• 29:07
  a
• 29:07
  younger
• 29:07
  white
• 29:07
  guy.
• 29:08
  For
• 29:08
  me,
• 29:09
  you
• 29:09
  know,
• 29:09
  being
• 29:09
  an
• 29:10
  older
• 29:10
  Hispanic
• 29:10
  female,
• 29:11
  that
• 29:12
  was
• 29:12
  a
• 29:12
  therapist
• 29:12
  that
• 29:13
  did
• 29:13
  the
• 29:13
  best
• 29:13
  for
• 29:14
  me
• 29:14
  when
• 29:14
  I
• 29:14
  had
• 29:14
  always
• 29:15
  gravitated
• 29:15
  toward
• 29:16
  older
• 29:16
  females,
• 29:16
  because
• 29:17
  I
• 29:17
  was
• 29:17
  sure
• 29:17
  I
• 29:17
  was
• 29:18
  probably
• 29:19
  searching
• 29:19
  out
• 29:19
  my
• 29:19
  mommy
• 29:20
  complex.
• 29:20
  But,
• 29:20
  you
• 29:20
  know,
• 29:21
  that's
• 29:21
  a
• 29:21
  whole
• 29:21
  other
• 29:22
  can
• 29:22
  of
• 29:22
  worms.
• 29:23
  And
• 29:23
  you
• 29:23
  are.
• 29:24
  Yes.
• 29:24
  And
• 29:24
  yes,
• 29:25
  absolutely.
• 29:25
  I
• 29:25
  was
• 29:25
  gonna
• 29:26
  say.
• 29:26
  That
• 29:26
  just
• 29:26
  went
• 29:26
  right
• 29:27
  through
• 29:27
  me
• 29:27
  when
• 29:27
  you
• 29:27
  said
• 29:27
  searching
• 29:28
  out,
• 29:28
  because
• 29:28
  I
• 29:28
  was
• 29:28
  like,
• 29:28
  oh,
• 29:29
  yeah.
• 29:29
  And
• 29:29
  that
• 29:29
  mom,
• 29:29
  that
• 29:30
  therapist
• 29:30
  was
• 29:30
  going
• 29:30
  to
• 29:30
  give
• 29:31
  you
• 29:31
  the
• 29:31
  validation
• 29:32
  and
• 29:32
  that
• 29:32
  and
• 29:32
  the
• 29:33
  support
• 29:33
  and
• 29:33
  the
• 29:33
  going
• 29:34
  on
• 29:34
  your
• 29:34
  side
• 29:34
  versus
• 29:35
  your
• 29:36
  father's
• 29:36
  side
• 29:37
  that
• 29:37
  you
• 29:37
  needed.
• 29:38
  Absolutely.
• 29:39
  Absolutely.
• 29:40
  Yeah.
• 29:40
  Pattern
• 29:40
  dis.
• 29:41
  Interrupts
• 29:41
  are.
• 29:42
  I
• 29:42
  mean,
• 29:42
  that's
• 29:42
  why,
• 29:43
  you
• 29:43
  know,
• 29:43
  even
• 29:44
  deep
• 29:44
  breathing
• 29:44
  and
• 29:44
  things
• 29:45
  like
• 29:45
  that,
• 29:45
  when
• 29:45
  you're,
• 29:46
  like,
• 29:46
  anxious
• 29:46
  or
• 29:46
  you're
• 29:47
  having
• 29:47
  an
• 29:47
  anxiety
• 29:47
  attack
• 29:48
  or
• 29:48
  panic
• 29:48
  attack.
• 29:49
  That's
• 29:49
  why
• 29:50
  those
• 29:50
  things
• 29:50
  work.
• 29:50
  Those
• 29:51
  picture
• 29:52
  five
• 29:52
  of
• 29:52
  these
• 29:52
  and
• 29:52
  four
• 29:53
  of
• 29:53
  these,
• 29:53
  because
• 29:53
  it
• 29:53
  just
• 29:54
  stops
• 29:54
  your
• 29:54
  brain
• 29:54
  from
• 29:55
  what
• 29:55
  it's
• 29:55
  thinking,
• 29:55
  from
• 29:55
  the
• 29:56
  normal
• 29:56
  flow.
• 29:57
  Because
• 29:57
  our
• 29:57
  normal
• 29:58
  flow
• 29:58
  is
• 29:58
  not
• 29:58
  necessarily
• 29:59
  what.
• 29:59
  The
• 30:00
  way
• 30:00
  it
• 30:00
  should
• 30:00
  be
• 30:00
  flowing.
• 30:01
  Nope.
• 30:02
  I
• 30:02
  always
• 30:02
  say,
• 30:02
  like,
• 30:03
  the
• 30:03
  normal
• 30:03
  that
• 30:03
  you
• 30:04
  think
• 30:04
  is
• 30:04
  actually,
• 30:05
  you
• 30:05
  know.
• 30:05
  And
• 30:05
  that's
• 30:05
  part
• 30:05
  of
• 30:06
  the
• 30:06
  whole
• 30:06
  trust
• 30:06
  thing,
• 30:06
  too.
• 30:07
  It's
• 30:07
  like,
• 30:07
  you
• 30:07
  got
• 30:07
  to
• 30:07
  learn
• 30:07
  how
• 30:07
  to
• 30:08
  trust
• 30:08
  what
• 30:08
  your
• 30:08
  body
• 30:09
  is
• 30:09
  telling
• 30:09
  you.
• 30:09
  And
• 30:09
  I
• 30:09
  think
• 30:10
  when
• 30:10
  you
• 30:10
  grow
• 30:11
  up
• 30:11
  the
• 30:11
  way
• 30:11
  that
• 30:12
  we
• 30:12
  have,
• 30:12
  you
• 30:13
  don't
• 30:13
  trust
• 30:13
  your
• 30:13
  body
• 30:13
  because
• 30:14
  you've
• 30:14
  had
• 30:14
  an
• 30:14
  adult
• 30:14
  that
• 30:15
  you
• 30:15
  trust
• 30:15
  love.
• 30:16
  Right.
• 30:16
  You
• 30:17
  think
• 30:17
  that
• 30:17
  they
• 30:17
  should
• 30:17
  love
• 30:18
  you
• 30:18
  and
• 30:18
  take
• 30:18
  care
• 30:19
  of
• 30:19
  you.
• 30:19
  They're
• 30:20
  telling
• 30:20
  you
• 30:20
  the
• 30:20
  opposite
• 30:20
  of
• 30:21
  what
• 30:21
  your
• 30:21
  body's
• 30:21
  telling
• 30:21
  you.
• 30:22
  And
• 30:22
  I
• 30:22
  think
• 30:22
  it's
• 30:23
  relearning
• 30:24
  that
• 30:24
  pattern
• 30:24
  for
• 30:24
  you.
• 30:24
  It's
• 30:25
  like,
• 30:25
  okay,
• 30:25
  yes,
• 30:26
  it's
• 30:26
  safe
• 30:26
  for
• 30:27
  me
• 30:27
  to
• 30:27
  sit
• 30:27
  and
• 30:27
  think
• 30:27
  and
• 30:28
  be
• 30:28
  like,
• 30:28
  listen
• 30:28
  to
• 30:28
  your
• 30:29
  gut,
• 30:29
  as
• 30:29
  they
• 30:29
  say.
• 30:30
  Right.
• 30:30
  Or
• 30:30
  what
• 30:31
  is
• 30:31
  your
• 30:31
  heart
• 30:31
  telling
• 30:31
  you?
• 30:32
  And
• 30:32
  like,
• 30:32
  if
• 30:32
  you're
• 30:33
  still
• 30:33
  silent,
• 30:33
  which
• 30:34
  is,
• 30:34
  you
• 30:34
  know,
• 30:34
  that's
• 30:35
  how
• 30:35
  I
• 30:35
  do
• 30:36
  things,
• 30:36
  then
• 30:37
  you're
• 30:37
  like,
• 30:37
  okay,
• 30:37
  what
• 30:37
  do
• 30:38
  I
• 30:38
  really
• 30:38
  want?
• 30:39
  Outside
• 30:39
  of
• 30:39
  the
• 30:39
  noise,
• 30:40
  out
• 30:40
  of
• 30:40
  the
• 30:40
  because
• 30:41
  I
• 30:41
  told
• 30:41
  you
• 30:41
  so
• 30:41
  is
• 30:42
  right.
• 30:43
  I
• 30:43
  think
• 30:43
  that's
• 30:44
  learning
• 30:44
  to
• 30:44
  trust
• 30:45
  yourself
• 30:45
  again,
• 30:45
  I
• 30:45
  think
• 30:46
  is
• 30:46
  I'm
• 30:47
  still
• 30:47
  on
• 30:47
  that
• 30:47
  journey
• 30:48
  of
• 30:48
  learning
• 30:48
  to
• 30:48
  trust
• 30:48
  myself.
• 30:49
  Yep.
• 30:50
  And
• 30:50
  that's,
• 30:50
  that
• 30:51
  takes
• 30:51
  a
• 30:51
  lot,
• 30:51
  a
• 30:52
  long,
• 30:52
  long
• 30:52
  time.
• 30:53
  Because
• 30:53
  then
• 30:54
  it's
• 30:54
  like
• 30:54
  when
• 30:54
  you
• 30:54
  get
• 30:54
  it
• 30:54
  mastered
• 30:55
  in
• 30:55
  one
• 30:55
  area
• 30:55
  of
• 30:56
  your
• 30:56
  life,
• 30:56
  then,
• 30:56
  oh,
• 30:56
  here's
• 30:57
  now,
• 30:57
  here's
• 30:58
  now,
• 30:58
  here's
• 30:59
  business.
• 30:59
  And
• 30:59
  I'm
• 30:59
  self
• 31:00
  sabotaging.
• 31:00
  I'm
• 31:01
  doing
• 31:01
  all
• 31:01
  of
• 31:01
  that
• 31:02
  stuff
• 31:02
  there
• 31:02
  and
• 31:02
  it's
• 31:03
  still
• 31:03
  all
• 31:03
  about.
• 31:04
  It
• 31:04
  all
• 31:04
  boils
• 31:05
  down
• 31:05
  to
• 31:05
  that
• 31:05
  sense
• 31:05
  of
• 31:06
  I'm,
• 31:06
  I'm
• 31:06
  not
• 31:06
  the
• 31:07
  not
• 31:07
  enoughs,
• 31:08
  not
• 31:08
  good
• 31:08
  enough,
• 31:08
  smart
• 31:08
  enough,
• 31:08
  funny
• 31:09
  enough,
• 31:09
  happy
• 31:09
  enough,
• 31:09
  whatever
• 31:10
  it
• 31:10
  is,
• 31:10
  the
• 31:10
  not
• 31:10
  enough.
• 31:11
  That's
• 31:11
  the.
• 31:11
  Or
• 31:12
  the
• 31:12
  I
• 31:12
  ams,
• 31:12
  you
• 31:12
  know,
• 31:13
  and,
• 31:13
  and
• 31:14
  until
• 31:14
  you
• 31:14
  learn
• 31:15
  that.
• 31:15
  And
• 31:15
  I
• 31:15
  love
• 31:16
  that
• 31:16
  you
• 31:16
  mentioned
• 31:16
  feeling
• 31:17
  it
• 31:17
  in
• 31:17
  your
• 31:17
  body,
• 31:17
  because
• 31:19
  there's
• 31:19
  a
• 31:20
  psychologist
• 31:20
  and
• 31:20
  I
• 31:21
  quote
• 31:21
  it
• 31:22
  a
• 31:22
  lot.
• 31:22
  And
• 31:22
  I
• 31:22
  use
• 31:22
  this
• 31:23
  example
• 31:23
  with
• 31:23
  almost
• 31:24
  everybody
• 31:24
  I
• 31:24
  talk
• 31:25
  to,
• 31:25
  but
• 31:25
  I
• 31:25
  can't
• 31:25
  remember
• 31:26
  who
• 31:26
  said
• 31:26
  it,
• 31:26
  so
• 31:26
  that's
• 31:26
  not
• 31:27
  good.
• 31:27
  But.
• 31:28
  And
• 31:28
  she
• 31:28
  says,
• 31:29
  just,
• 31:29
  you
• 31:30
  know,
• 31:30
  picture
• 31:31
  your
• 31:31
  favorite
• 31:31
  ice
• 31:31
  cream
• 31:32
  and
• 31:32
  how
• 31:32
  does
• 31:32
  that
• 31:32
  make
• 31:32
  you
• 31:33
  feel
• 31:33
  and
• 31:33
  feel
• 31:34
  it
• 31:34
  in
• 31:34
  your
• 31:34
  body?
• 31:34
  Like
• 31:35
  your
• 31:35
  favorite
• 31:35
  food.
• 31:36
  Right.
• 31:36
  Mine
• 31:36
  would
• 31:36
  be
• 31:36
  probably
• 31:37
  steamed
• 31:37
  clams.
• 31:38
  And
• 31:38
  when
• 31:38
  I
• 31:38
  think
• 31:38
  about
• 31:38
  eating
• 31:39
  steamed
• 31:39
  clam,
• 31:39
  I
• 31:39
  can
• 31:40
  picture
• 31:40
  the
• 31:40
  butter
• 31:40
  running
• 31:41
  down
• 31:41
  my
• 31:41
  chin
• 31:41
  like
• 31:42
  I
• 31:42
  could
• 31:42
  watch
• 31:43
  them
• 31:43
  on
• 31:43
  the
• 31:43
  grill.
• 31:44
  And
• 31:44
  it's
• 31:44
  like,
• 31:44
  how
• 31:44
  does
• 31:44
  that
• 31:45
  make
• 31:45
  me
• 31:45
  feel?
• 31:45
  Oh,
• 31:45
  my
• 31:45
  God,
• 31:45
  it
• 31:46
  makes
• 31:46
  me
• 31:46
  feel
• 31:46
  amazing.
• 31:47
  And
• 31:47
  then
• 31:48
  sit
• 31:48
  with
• 31:48
  the
• 31:48
  comment,
• 31:49
  I
• 31:49
  deserve
• 31:49
  all
• 31:50
  good
• 31:50
  things
• 31:51
  and
• 31:52
  just
• 31:52
  sit
• 31:52
  with
• 31:52
  it
• 31:53
  and
• 31:54
  see
• 31:54
  what
• 31:54
  comes
• 31:54
  up.
• 31:55
  Because
• 31:56
  a
• 31:56
  lot
• 31:56
  of
• 31:56
  people
• 31:56
  go,
• 31:56
  oh,
• 31:57
  no,
• 31:57
  I
• 31:57
  feel
• 31:57
  worthy.
• 31:58
  I
• 31:58
  do,
• 31:58
  I
• 31:58
  do.
• 31:59
  I'm
• 31:59
  like,
• 31:59
  well,
• 31:59
  try
• 31:59
  that.
• 32:00
  Try
• 32:00
  that
• 32:00
  when
• 32:00
  you're
• 32:01
  silent
• 32:01
  and
• 32:02
  sit
• 32:02
  with
• 32:02
  it.
• 32:03
  And
• 32:03
  if
• 32:04
  you
• 32:04
  have
• 32:04
  to
• 32:04
  say
• 32:04
  it
• 32:04
  five
• 32:04
  times,
• 32:05
  say
• 32:05
  it
• 32:05
  and
• 32:06
  see
• 32:06
  where
• 32:06
  you
• 32:07
  start
• 32:07
  to
• 32:07
  get
• 32:07
  the
• 32:08
  clench
• 32:08
  in
• 32:08
  your
• 32:08
  stomach,
• 32:09
  your
• 32:09
  jaw
• 32:09
  gets
• 32:09
  tight,
• 32:10
  your
• 32:10
  neck
• 32:10
  hurts.
• 32:10
  Like,
• 32:11
  it
• 32:12
  means
• 32:12
  there's
• 32:12
  some
• 32:12
  exploring
• 32:13
  to
• 32:13
  do.
• 32:13
  And
• 32:13
  then
• 32:14
  breathe
• 32:14
  into
• 32:14
  that
• 32:14
  spot.
• 32:15
  You
• 32:15
  know,
• 32:15
  it's
• 32:16
  like,
• 32:16
  breathe
• 32:16
  that
• 32:17
  I
• 32:17
  am
• 32:18
  lovable
• 32:18
  into
• 32:19
  that
• 32:19
  spot,
• 32:20
  because
• 32:21
  it
• 32:21
  will.
• 32:21
  And
• 32:22
  then
• 32:22
  I
• 32:22
  love
• 32:22
  your,
• 32:23
  your
• 32:23
  visualization
• 32:24
  of
• 32:24
  throwing
• 32:24
  the
• 32:24
  paper
• 32:25
  away,
• 32:25
  burning
• 32:26
  it,
• 32:26
  writing,
• 32:26
  and
• 32:27
  it's
• 32:27
  a
• 32:27
  release.
• 32:28
  Like
• 32:28
  you
• 32:28
  gotta
• 32:29
  somehow
• 32:29
  get
• 32:29
  it
• 32:29
  out
• 32:30
  of
• 32:30
  that
• 32:30
  body
• 32:32
  and
• 32:33
  it
• 32:33
  does
• 32:33
  not.
• 32:33
  Have
• 32:34
  a
• 32:34
  home
• 32:34
  here
• 32:34
  anymore.
• 32:35
  And
• 32:35
  I
• 32:35
  love
• 32:35
  what
• 32:36
  you
• 32:36
  said
• 32:36
  about,
• 32:36
  like,
• 32:36
  feeling
• 32:37
  where
• 32:37
  in
• 32:37
  the
• 32:37
  body
• 32:37
  it
• 32:38
  was
• 32:38
  for
• 32:38
  years.
• 32:39
  I
• 32:39
  didn't
• 32:39
  realize
• 32:39
  I
• 32:39
  was
• 32:39
  doing.
• 32:40
  And
• 32:40
  I
• 32:40
  still
• 32:40
  have
• 32:40
  to
• 32:40
  remind
• 32:41
  myself
• 32:41
  I
• 32:41
  had
• 32:42
  my
• 32:42
  shoulders
• 32:42
  up
• 32:42
  like
• 32:43
  this
• 32:43
  and
• 32:43
  I
• 32:43
  didn't
• 32:44
  realize
• 32:44
  I
• 32:44
  was
• 32:44
  doing
• 32:45
  it.
• 32:45
  So
• 32:45
  now
• 32:45
  I
• 32:45
  have
• 32:45
  to,
• 32:45
  like,
• 32:45
  tell
• 32:46
  myself,
• 32:46
  put
• 32:46
  your
• 32:46
  shoulders
• 32:47
  down.
• 32:47
  And
• 32:47
  it's
• 32:47
  like
• 32:48
  that
• 32:48
  constant
• 32:48
  rewiring.
• 32:49
  So
• 32:49
  now
• 32:49
  I'm
• 32:50
  pretty
• 32:50
  good.
• 32:50
  Most
• 32:50
  of
• 32:50
  the
• 32:50
  time
• 32:51
  I
• 32:51
  sit
• 32:51
  like
• 32:51
  this.
• 32:51
  But
• 32:52
  every
• 32:52
  once
• 32:52
  in
• 32:52
  a
• 32:52
  while,
• 32:52
  when
• 32:53
  I
• 32:53
  know
• 32:53
  I'm
• 32:53
  in
• 32:53
  a
• 32:53
  stressful
• 32:54
  situation,
• 32:55
  shoulders
• 32:55
  will
• 32:55
  come
• 32:56
  up
• 32:56
  nine
• 32:56
  times
• 32:57
  out
• 32:57
  of
• 32:57
  10,
• 32:57
  and
• 32:58
  it's
• 32:58
  like
• 32:58
  learning.
• 32:59
  My
• 33:00
  toes
• 33:00
  roll.
• 33:01
  Like,
• 33:01
  my.
• 33:01
  I
• 33:01
  will
• 33:01
  roll
• 33:02
  my
• 33:02
  toes
• 33:02
  in
• 33:02
  my
• 33:03
  shoes.
• 33:03
  And
• 33:03
  I
• 33:03
  can
• 33:04
  tell,
• 33:04
  like,
• 33:04
  when
• 33:04
  I'm
• 33:04
  getting
• 33:05
  tense.
• 33:05
  So
• 33:05
  it's
• 33:05
  kind
• 33:05
  of
• 33:06
  like
• 33:06
  I'll
• 33:07
  watch.
• 33:07
  Like,
• 33:07
  I'll
• 33:07
  just
• 33:08
  be
• 33:08
  like,
• 33:08
  oh,
• 33:09
  come
• 33:09
  on,
• 33:09
  Tammy,
• 33:09
  relax.
• 33:10
  And
• 33:10
  then
• 33:10
  all
• 33:10
  this,
• 33:10
  you
• 33:11
  know,
• 33:11
  I
• 33:11
  do
• 33:11
  visualization
• 33:12
  does
• 33:12
  kind
• 33:13
  of
• 33:13
  work
• 33:13
  for
• 33:13
  me,
• 33:13
  but
• 33:13
  it
• 33:13
  works
• 33:14
  more
• 33:14
  for
• 33:14
  me
• 33:14
  for
• 33:15
  anchoring
• 33:15
  points.
• 33:16
  Like,
• 33:16
  I
• 33:17
  spent
• 33:17
  a
• 33:17
  lot
• 33:17
  of
• 33:18
  time
• 33:18
  going
• 33:18
  to
• 33:18
  the
• 33:18
  beach,
• 33:19
  laying
• 33:19
  on
• 33:19
  the
• 33:19
  beach,
• 33:20
  looking
• 33:20
  at
• 33:20
  the
• 33:20
  stars
• 33:21
  or
• 33:21
  looking
• 33:21
  at
• 33:21
  this,
• 33:22
  the.
• 33:22
  The.
• 33:23
  The.
• 33:23
  Whatever,
• 33:24
  the
• 33:24
  sky,
• 33:25
  and
• 33:25
  just
• 33:26
  feeling
• 33:26
  happy.
• 33:27
  Like,
• 33:28
  until
• 33:28
  I
• 33:28
  could
• 33:29
  feel
• 33:29
  happy.
• 33:29
  So
• 33:30
  then
• 33:30
  when
• 33:30
  something
• 33:30
  got
• 33:31
  tense,
• 33:31
  I
• 33:32
  can
• 33:32
  literally
• 33:32
  now
• 33:32
  close
• 33:33
  my
• 33:33
  eyes
• 33:33
  and
• 33:33
  take
• 33:33
  me
• 33:34
  back
• 33:34
  to
• 33:34
  that
• 33:34
  spot
• 33:35
  in.
• 33:36
  And
• 33:36
  it
• 33:36
  took
• 33:36
  a
• 33:36
  long
• 33:37
  time
• 33:37
  to
• 33:37
  be
• 33:37
  able
• 33:37
  to
• 33:38
  do
• 33:38
  that.
• 33:38
  But
• 33:39
  that's,
• 33:39
  you
• 33:39
  know,
• 33:39
  that's
• 33:40
  the
• 33:40
  whole.
• 33:40
  That.
• 33:41
  That's
• 33:41
  nlp.
• 33:41
  Like,
• 33:42
  that.
• 33:42
  That's
• 33:42
  a
• 33:42
  lot
• 33:43
  of
• 33:43
  visualization
• 33:43
  and
• 33:44
  things
• 33:44
  like
• 33:44
  that.
• 33:44
  But
• 33:46
  I
• 33:47
  agree,
• 33:47
  it
• 33:47
  doesn't
• 33:47
  work
• 33:47
  for
• 33:48
  everybody.
• 33:48
  And
• 33:49
  even
• 33:49
  the
• 33:49
  concept
• 33:50
  of
• 33:50
  meditation,
• 33:51
  like,
• 33:51
  a
• 33:51
  lot
• 33:51
  of
• 33:51
  people
• 33:51
  are
• 33:52
  like,
• 33:52
  why
• 33:52
  have
• 33:52
  adhd?
• 33:53
  I
• 33:53
  can't
• 33:53
  meditate.
• 33:54
  I'm
• 33:54
  like,
• 33:55
  but
• 33:55
  meditating
• 33:55
  could
• 33:56
  be
• 33:56
  nothing
• 33:56
  more
• 33:56
  than
• 33:57
  doing
• 33:57
  your
• 33:57
  laundry
• 33:57
  and
• 33:57
  counting.
• 33:58
  1,
• 33:58
  2,
• 33:59
  3,
• 33:59
  4,
• 34:00
  1.
• 34:00
  You
• 34:00
  know,
• 34:00
  like,
• 34:01
  it
• 34:01
  can
• 34:01
  be.
• 34:02
  It's
• 34:02
  anything
• 34:03
  that
• 34:03
  just.
• 34:04
  You
• 34:04
  can
• 34:04
  walk
• 34:04
  and
• 34:05
  meditate.
• 34:05
  You
• 34:05
  can
• 34:05
  do
• 34:06
  laundry
• 34:06
  and
• 34:06
  meditate.
• 34:07
  That
• 34:07
  was
• 34:07
  my
• 34:07
  thing.
• 34:07
  I
• 34:07
  put
• 34:08
  on
• 34:08
  my
• 34:08
  headphones
• 34:08
  and
• 34:08
  I
• 34:08
  would
• 34:09
  listen
• 34:09
  to
• 34:09
  calming
• 34:09
  music
• 34:10
  and
• 34:10
  I
• 34:10
  would
• 34:10
  do
• 34:11
  my
• 34:11
  laundry
• 34:11
  and
• 34:11
  I
• 34:11
  would
• 34:12
  count
• 34:12
  how
• 34:12
  many
• 34:12
  times
• 34:12
  it
• 34:12
  folded
• 34:13
  me
• 34:13
  or
• 34:13
  how
• 34:13
  many
• 34:13
  pairs.
• 34:14
  I
• 34:14
  just.
• 34:14
  It
• 34:15
  was
• 34:15
  a
• 34:15
  pattern,
• 34:15
  you
• 34:16
  know,
• 34:16
  like
• 34:16
  you
• 34:16
  said
• 34:16
  that
• 34:16
  pattern
• 34:17
  interrupt.
• 34:17
  And
• 34:19
  so
• 34:19
  meditating
• 34:19
  does
• 34:20
  not
• 34:20
  look
• 34:20
  like
• 34:21
  that.
• 34:21
  I
• 34:21
  can't
• 34:21
  even
• 34:22
  sit
• 34:22
  on
• 34:22
  the
• 34:22
  ground
• 34:22
  and
• 34:22
  cross
• 34:23
  my
• 34:23
  leg.
• 34:27
  Although
• 34:27
  I
• 34:28
  did
• 34:28
  hear
• 34:28
  something
• 34:29
  really
• 34:29
  interesting.
• 34:29
  And,
• 34:30
  you
• 34:30
  know
• 34:30
  when
• 34:30
  people
• 34:31
  meditate
• 34:31
  and
• 34:31
  they
• 34:31
  go
• 34:32
  ah,
• 34:33
  it
• 34:33
  is
• 34:34
  the
• 34:34
  only
• 34:34
  sound
• 34:35
  that
• 34:35
  you
• 34:35
  don't
• 34:36
  have
• 34:36
  to
• 34:36
  do
• 34:36
  anything
• 34:37
  to
• 34:37
  make.
• 34:38
  That
• 34:38
  is
• 34:38
  why
• 34:38
  almost
• 34:39
  every
• 34:39
  version
• 34:40
  of
• 34:40
  the
• 34:40
  word
• 34:40
  God
• 34:40
  has
• 34:41
  ah
• 34:41
  in
• 34:41
  it.
• 34:42
  Allah.
• 34:43
  God.
• 34:44
  If
• 34:45
  you
• 34:45
  look,
• 34:45
  there's
• 34:45
  tons
• 34:46
  and
• 34:46
  tons
• 34:46
  of
• 34:46
  gods
• 34:47
  Most
• 34:47
  of
• 34:47
  them
• 34:48
  somehow
• 34:48
  have
• 34:48
  that
• 34:49
  ah,
• 34:49
  because,
• 34:50
  like,
• 34:50
  to
• 34:50
  make
• 34:50
  the
• 34:50
  sound,
• 34:51
  you
• 34:51
  have
• 34:51
  to
• 34:51
  move
• 34:52
  your
• 34:52
  mouth.
• 34:53
  Ah
• 34:53
  is
• 34:54
  just
• 34:54
  the
• 34:54
  most
• 34:54
  natural
• 34:55
  sound
• 34:55
  that
• 34:55
  your
• 34:55
  body
• 34:56
  can
• 34:56
  make.
• 34:57
  Yeah.
• 34:57
  Because
• 34:57
  you
• 34:57
  don't
• 34:57
  have
• 34:57
  to
• 34:57
  move
• 34:58
  your
• 34:58
  tongue,
• 34:58
  teeth,
• 34:58
  lips,
• 34:59
  anything.
• 34:59
  You're
• 34:59
  right.
• 35:00
  Wow.
• 35:01
  That's
• 35:01
  why
• 35:01
  when
• 35:01
  people
• 35:02
  meditate,
• 35:02
  I
• 35:02
  know
• 35:02
  it
• 35:03
  gives
• 35:03
  me
• 35:03
  goosebumps
• 35:03
  when
• 35:03
  I
• 35:03
  think
• 35:04
  about
• 35:04
  it,
• 35:04
  but
• 35:04
  when
• 35:04
  you
• 35:04
  see
• 35:04
  people
• 35:05
  meditating
• 35:05
  and
• 35:05
  they're
• 35:06
  just,
• 35:06
  ah.
• 35:07
  It's
• 35:07
  because
• 35:07
  they
• 35:08
  don't
• 35:08
  have
• 35:08
  to
• 35:08
  do.
• 35:08
  Anything
• 35:10
  because
• 35:10
  they're
• 35:10
  saying
• 35:10
  they're
• 35:11
  still.
• 35:11
  Because
• 35:11
  I
• 35:11
  know
• 35:11
  the
• 35:12
  stillness
• 35:12
  is
• 35:12
  a
• 35:12
  big
• 35:12
  thing
• 35:13
  with
• 35:13
  meditating.
• 35:13
  It's
• 35:13
  like
• 35:13
  they're
• 35:14
  staying
• 35:14
  still
• 35:14
  because
• 35:14
  they're
• 35:14
  not
• 35:14
  even
• 35:15
  moving.
• 35:15
  Lip
• 35:15
  served.
• 35:15
  Oh,
• 35:16
  wow.
• 35:17
  You
• 35:17
  learn
• 35:17
  something
• 35:17
  new
• 35:18
  every
• 35:18
  day.
• 35:18
  Yeah.
• 35:19
  Isn't
• 35:19
  that
• 35:19
  kind
• 35:19
  of
• 35:19
  cool?
• 35:19
  And
• 35:20
  that's
• 35:20
  also.
• 35:21
  That
• 35:21
  sound
• 35:22
  is
• 35:22
  the
• 35:22
  most
• 35:23
  open
• 35:23
  pathway,
• 35:24
  so
• 35:24
  it
• 35:24
  stimulates
• 35:24
  your
• 35:25
  vagus
• 35:25
  nerve
• 35:25
  the
• 35:25
  most.
• 35:28
  So,
• 35:28
  like.
• 35:29
  Yeah.
• 35:29
  So
• 35:30
  if
• 35:30
  you
• 35:30
  ever.
• 35:30
  It's
• 35:30
  a
• 35:31
  very
• 35:31
  good
• 35:31
  calming
• 35:31
  technique,
• 35:32
  actually,
• 35:32
  just
• 35:32
  to
• 35:32
  be
• 35:33
  in
• 35:33
  the
• 35:33
  car.
• 35:33
  Just,
• 35:35
  just
• 35:35
  it
• 35:36
  literally.
• 35:36
  So
• 35:36
  for
• 35:36
  people
• 35:37
  that
• 35:37
  are
• 35:37
  like,
• 35:37
  wow,
• 35:37
  that's
• 35:37
  interesting.
• 35:38
  When
• 35:38
  you're
• 35:39
  in
• 35:39
  traffic
• 35:39
  and
• 35:39
  you're
• 35:39
  angry,
• 35:40
  do
• 35:40
  that.
• 35:40
  It
• 35:41
  literally
• 35:41
  will
• 35:41
  just
• 35:42
  bring
• 35:43
  you
• 35:43
  down.
• 35:44
  Not
• 35:44
  in
• 35:44
  a
• 35:44
  bad
• 35:45
  way,
• 35:45
  but
• 35:45
  in
• 35:46
  a,
• 35:46
  in
• 35:46
  a,
• 35:47
  In
• 35:47
  a
• 35:48
  calming
• 35:48
  way.
• 35:48
  I
• 35:49
  guess
• 35:49
  you
• 35:49
  could
• 35:49
  say.
• 35:49
  Yes.
• 35:49
  Yeah.
• 35:50
  See,
• 35:50
  you
• 35:50
  learned
• 35:50
  something
• 35:51
  already.
• 35:51
  And
• 35:51
  it's
• 35:51
  only
• 35:51
  8:42
• 35:53
  before
• 35:53
  I
• 35:54
  even
• 35:54
  finish
• 35:54
  my
• 35:54
  coffee.
• 35:55
  Thank
• 35:55
  you,
• 35:55
  Tammy.
• 35:57
  Well,
• 35:58
  this
• 35:58
  has
• 35:58
  been
• 35:58
  absolutely
• 35:58
  amazing.
• 35:59
  I
• 35:59
  know
• 35:59
  we
• 35:59
  could
• 35:59
  talk
• 36:00
  about
• 36:00
  the
• 36:00
  cycle
• 36:00
  breaking
• 36:01
  for
• 36:01
  absolutely
• 36:02
  ever
• 36:02
  because
• 36:02
  it's
• 36:02
  so
• 36:03
  important
• 36:03
  and
• 36:03
  I'm
• 36:04
  so
• 36:04
  excited
• 36:04
  that
• 36:04
  you
• 36:05
  do
• 36:05
  what
• 36:05
  you
• 36:05
  do,
• 36:06
  especially
• 36:07
  as
• 36:07
  a
• 36:07
  mom
• 36:07
  of
• 36:07
  four,
• 36:08
  because
• 36:10
  those
• 36:10
  kiddos,
• 36:11
  they
• 36:11
  need
• 36:11
  you
• 36:12
  and
• 36:12
  they
• 36:12
  need,
• 36:12
  you
• 36:12
  know,
• 36:13
  you
• 36:13
  can't
• 36:13
  pour
• 36:14
  from
• 36:14
  an
• 36:14
  empty
• 36:14
  cup.
• 36:16
  So
• 36:17
  talk
• 36:17
  about
• 36:17
  just
• 36:18
  a
• 36:18
  little
• 36:18
  bit
• 36:18
  more.
• 36:18
  I
• 36:18
  don't
• 36:19
  want
• 36:19
  to
• 36:19
  keep
• 36:19
  you
• 36:19
  forever.
• 36:20
  Talk
• 36:21
  about
• 36:22
  the
• 36:22
  things
• 36:22
  that
• 36:23
  you
• 36:23
  do
• 36:23
  daily
• 36:24
  to
• 36:24
  stay
• 36:25
  in
• 36:26
  that
• 36:26
  cycle.
• 36:26
  Breaking
• 36:27
  pattern.
• 36:28
  And
• 36:29
  like
• 36:29
  on
• 36:29
  a
• 36:29
  day
• 36:30
  like
• 36:30
  with
• 36:30
  your
• 36:30
  kids.
• 36:32
  With
• 36:32
  my
• 36:33
  kids,
• 36:33
  I
• 36:33
  think
• 36:33
  it's
• 36:33
  a
• 36:34
  lot
• 36:34
  of.
• 36:34
  For
• 36:34
  me,
• 36:35
  the
• 36:35
  one
• 36:35
  thing
• 36:36
  that
• 36:36
  I
• 36:36
  do
• 36:36
  for
• 36:36
  them
• 36:36
  that
• 36:36
  I
• 36:36
  wish
• 36:37
  someone
• 36:37
  had
• 36:37
  done
• 36:37
  for
• 36:37
  me
• 36:38
  is
• 36:38
  getting
• 36:39
  down
• 36:39
  on
• 36:39
  their
• 36:39
  level
• 36:40
  to
• 36:40
  talk
• 36:40
  and
• 36:41
  not
• 36:41
  mean,
• 36:41
  like,
• 36:41
  looking
• 36:41
  down
• 36:42
  at
• 36:42
  them.
• 36:42
  I
• 36:42
  think
• 36:42
  it's
• 36:42
  so
• 36:42
  easy
• 36:43
  as
• 36:43
  a
• 36:43
  parent
• 36:43
  because
• 36:43
  of
• 36:44
  the
• 36:44
  height
• 36:44
  differential,
• 36:45
  like
• 36:45
  sitting
• 36:46
  down
• 36:46
  on
• 36:46
  the
• 36:46
  floor
• 36:46
  with
• 36:47
  them,
• 36:47
  looking
• 36:47
  them
• 36:47
  in
• 36:47
  the
• 36:48
  eye
• 36:48
  and
• 36:48
  just
• 36:48
  having
• 36:48
  a
• 36:49
  conversation
• 36:49
  or
• 36:50
  when
• 36:50
  they're
• 36:50
  upset,
• 36:51
  giving
• 36:51
  them
• 36:52
  that
• 36:52
  space
• 36:52
  to
• 36:53
  be
• 36:53
  upset.
• 36:54
  Because
• 36:54
  I
• 36:54
  know
• 36:55
  so
• 36:55
  many
• 36:55
  adults
• 36:56
  who've
• 36:56
  grown
• 36:56
  up
• 36:56
  the
• 36:56
  way
• 36:57
  that
• 36:57
  we
• 36:57
  have,
• 36:57
  they
• 36:57
  didn't
• 36:58
  have
• 36:58
  that.
• 36:59
  So,
• 36:59
  you
• 37:00
  know,
• 37:00
  I
• 37:00
  think
• 37:00
  in
• 37:00
  turn,
• 37:01
  by
• 37:01
  giving
• 37:01
  them
• 37:02
  that
• 37:02
  and
• 37:03
  giving
• 37:03
  them
• 37:03
  again,
• 37:04
  like
• 37:04
  you
• 37:04
  said,
• 37:04
  as
• 37:04
  a
• 37:05
  Parent.
• 37:05
  You're
• 37:05
  like,
• 37:05
  oh,
• 37:05
  I'm
• 37:05
  just
• 37:05
  going
• 37:05
  to
• 37:06
  do
• 37:06
  the
• 37:06
  opposite
• 37:06
  of
• 37:06
  what
• 37:06
  my
• 37:06
  parents
• 37:07
  did.
• 37:07
  And
• 37:08
  then
• 37:08
  you
• 37:08
  raise
• 37:09
  very
• 37:09
  entitled,
• 37:09
  spoiled
• 37:10
  children.
• 37:11
  I
• 37:11
  learned
• 37:12
  that
• 37:12
  the
• 37:12
  hard
• 37:12
  way.
• 37:13
  So,
• 37:14
  you
• 37:14
  know,
• 37:15
  so
• 37:15
  it's
• 37:15
  just,
• 37:15
  again,
• 37:16
  it's
• 37:16
  a
• 37:16
  pattern
• 37:17
  disruption.
• 37:17
  If
• 37:17
  they're
• 37:18
  having
• 37:18
  that
• 37:18
  meltdown,
• 37:18
  it's
• 37:19
  like,
• 37:19
  okay,
• 37:19
  we're
• 37:19
  gonna
• 37:19
  sit
• 37:20
  down.
• 37:20
  We're
• 37:20
  gonna
• 37:20
  talk
• 37:20
  about
• 37:21
  it
• 37:21
  without
• 37:21
  judgment.
• 37:21
  And
• 37:22
  they
• 37:22
  know
• 37:22
  that
• 37:23
  they
• 37:23
  have
• 37:23
  that
• 37:23
  space,
• 37:23
  I
• 37:24
  think,
• 37:24
  at
• 37:24
  that
• 37:24
  point
• 37:24
  to
• 37:25
  come
• 37:25
  to
• 37:25
  me
• 37:25
  when
• 37:25
  they're
• 37:26
  having
• 37:26
  issues
• 37:26
  at
• 37:27
  school
• 37:27
  or
• 37:27
  some
• 37:27
  kind
• 37:28
  of
• 37:28
  problem.
• 37:28
  And
• 37:29
  it's
• 37:29
  all
• 37:29
  about
• 37:29
  communication.
• 37:30
  Because
• 37:30
  with
• 37:30
  me,
• 37:30
  I'm
• 37:31
  modeling
• 37:32
  a
• 37:32
  behavior
• 37:32
  that
• 37:32
  I
• 37:33
  want
• 37:33
  so,
• 37:34
  you
• 37:34
  know,
• 37:34
  if
• 37:34
  I'm
• 37:34
  ready
• 37:34
  to,
• 37:34
  like,
• 37:35
  lose
• 37:35
  my
• 37:35
  crap.
• 37:35
  And,
• 37:36
  you
• 37:36
  know,
• 37:36
  it's
• 37:36
  like,
• 37:37
  okay,
• 37:37
  maybe
• 37:37
  I
• 37:37
  need
• 37:37
  to
• 37:37
  go
• 37:37
  to
• 37:38
  the
• 37:38
  bathroom.
• 37:38
  Every
• 37:39
  mom
• 37:39
  will
• 37:39
  know.
• 37:39
  It's
• 37:40
  like,
• 37:40
  I'm
• 37:40
  gonna
• 37:40
  go
• 37:40
  to
• 37:40
  the
• 37:40
  bathroom.
• 37:41
  And
• 37:41
  it's
• 37:41
  like,
• 37:41
  no,
• 37:41
  I
• 37:42
  need
• 37:42
  to
• 37:42
  reset.
• 37:42
  Right.
• 37:43
  So
• 37:43
  it's
• 37:43
  a
• 37:43
  reset.
• 37:44
  Go
• 37:44
  to
• 37:44
  the
• 37:44
  bathroom,
• 37:44
  splash
• 37:45
  water
• 37:45
  on
• 37:45
  your
• 37:45
  face,
• 37:46
  breathe,
• 37:46
  and
• 37:47
  then
• 37:47
  go
• 37:47
  back
• 37:47
  out
• 37:48
  into
• 37:48
  the
• 37:49
  battle
• 37:49
  that
• 37:49
  is
• 37:49
  parenthood.
• 37:51
  Right.
• 37:53
  And
• 37:53
  that's.
• 37:54
  And.
• 37:54
  And
• 37:54
  you're
• 37:54
  right,
• 37:55
  because
• 37:55
  modeling
• 37:55
  is
• 37:55
  everything.
• 37:56
  It's
• 37:56
  not
• 37:56
  what
• 37:56
  you
• 37:56
  say.
• 37:57
  It's
• 37:57
  what
• 37:57
  you
• 37:57
  do.
• 37:57
  Actually,
• 37:58
  you
• 37:58
  know,
• 37:58
  there's
• 37:58
  all
• 37:59
  those
• 37:59
  little
• 37:59
  cliches
• 38:00
  that.
• 38:00
  I
• 38:00
  hate
• 38:00
  to
• 38:00
  use
• 38:01
  those
• 38:01
  little
• 38:01
  cliches,
• 38:02
  but,
• 38:02
  you
• 38:02
  know,
• 38:02
  actions
• 38:03
  speak
• 38:03
  louder
• 38:03
  than
• 38:03
  words.
• 38:04
  They
• 38:04
  absolute.
• 38:05
  Absolutely
• 38:06
  100
• 38:06
  positively
• 38:07
  do.
• 38:08
  So
• 38:08
  if
• 38:08
  you're
• 38:08
  saying
• 38:08
  one
• 38:09
  thing
• 38:09
  and
• 38:09
  doing
• 38:09
  another,
• 38:10
  that
• 38:10
  there
• 38:11
  in
• 38:11
  hence
• 38:12
  lies
• 38:12
  the
• 38:13
  confusion
• 38:14
  and
• 38:14
  the.
• 38:15
  And
• 38:15
  that's
• 38:16
  what
• 38:16
  kids
• 38:16
  don't
• 38:17
  like.
• 38:17
  Kids
• 38:17
  like
• 38:18
  to
• 38:19
  know.
• 38:19
  They
• 38:19
  would
• 38:19
  rather
• 38:20
  not
• 38:20
  like
• 38:20
  what
• 38:20
  they
• 38:21
  hear
• 38:22
  than
• 38:22
  not
• 38:22
  know.
• 38:24
  Yes.
• 38:25
  And
• 38:25
  mine
• 38:26
  will
• 38:26
  ask
• 38:26
  until
• 38:27
  they
• 38:27
  figure
• 38:27
  it
• 38:28
  out.
• 38:28
  Because
• 38:28
  I.
• 38:29
  My
• 38:29
  karma
• 38:29
  was
• 38:30
  having
• 38:30
  very
• 38:30
  curious
• 38:30
  children,
• 38:31
  so.
• 38:32
  Yes.
• 38:33
  Yes.
• 38:34
  Why?
• 38:34
  Why?
• 38:35
  And
• 38:35
  it's
• 38:35
  so
• 38:35
  hard
• 38:36
  because.
• 38:36
  Because.
• 38:36
  Just.
• 38:37
  Because
• 38:37
  it
• 38:37
  doesn't.
• 38:38
  Doesn't
• 38:38
  matter,
• 38:38
  you
• 38:39
  know?
• 38:39
  Yeah.
• 38:39
  And
• 38:39
  I
• 38:40
  still
• 38:40
  find
• 38:40
  myself
• 38:40
  when
• 38:41
  people
• 38:41
  are
• 38:41
  like,
• 38:41
  well,
• 38:41
  how
• 38:41
  does
• 38:42
  that
• 38:42
  work?
• 38:42
  And
• 38:42
  I'm
• 38:42
  like,
• 38:42
  I
• 38:43
  don't
• 38:43
  know.
• 38:43
  I
• 38:43
  don't
• 38:43
  know
• 38:43
  how
• 38:43
  electricity
• 38:44
  works,
• 38:44
  but
• 38:44
  I
• 38:44
  use
• 38:45
  it
• 38:45
  every
• 38:45
  day.
• 38:46
  Yes.
• 38:47
  Or
• 38:47
  my
• 38:48
  kids
• 38:48
  will
• 38:48
  tell
• 38:48
  me,
• 38:48
  well,
• 38:48
  how
• 38:48
  do
• 38:49
  you
• 38:49
  not
• 38:49
  know
• 38:49
  this?
• 38:49
  I'm
• 38:49
  like,
• 38:50
  I
• 38:50
  don't
• 38:50
  know.
• 38:50
  Go
• 38:50
  ask
• 38:50
  Siri
• 38:51
  or
• 38:51
  go
• 38:51
  ask
• 38:51
  Alexa.
• 38:52
  He
• 38:53
  has
• 38:53
  to
• 38:53
  come
• 38:53
  and
• 38:53
  refrain
• 38:54
  in
• 38:54
  my
• 38:54
  house.
• 38:54
  Because
• 38:55
  they
• 38:55
  would.
• 38:55
  I
• 38:55
  was
• 38:55
  like,
• 38:55
  but
• 38:56
  you
• 38:56
  don't
• 38:56
  know
• 38:56
  all
• 38:56
  the
• 38:56
  things.
• 38:57
  I'm
• 38:57
  like,
• 38:57
  no,
• 38:57
  I
• 38:57
  don't
• 38:57
  know
• 38:58
  all
• 38:58
  the
• 38:58
  things.
• 38:59
  That's
• 38:59
  what
• 38:59
  I
• 38:59
  say.
• 38:59
  Google
• 38:59
  knows
• 39:00
  everything.
• 39:01
  Yes,
• 39:01
  exactly.
• 39:01
  I'm
• 39:02
  like,
• 39:02
  go.
• 39:02
  Go
• 39:02
  do
• 39:02
  Google.
• 39:03
  We
• 39:03
  have
• 39:03
  an
• 39:03
  Alexa
• 39:03
  now.
• 39:03
  Go
• 39:04
  ask
• 39:04
  Alexa.
• 39:04
  Yeah,
• 39:06
  that's
• 39:06
  great.
• 39:07
  That's
• 39:07
  great.
• 39:07
  But
• 39:08
  thank
• 39:08
  you.
• 39:08
  For
• 39:08
  all
• 39:09
  the
• 39:09
  helpful
• 39:09
  tips,
• 39:10
  because
• 39:10
  for
• 39:10
  the
• 39:11
  listeners,
• 39:11
  I
• 39:11
  mean,
• 39:11
  so
• 39:12
  many
• 39:12
  of
• 39:12
  them
• 39:12
  are
• 39:12
  probably
• 39:12
  parents.
• 39:13
  I'm
• 39:13
  only
• 39:14
  can.
• 39:14
  I
• 39:14
  can
• 39:14
  only
• 39:14
  assume
• 39:16
  a
• 39:16
  lot
• 39:16
  of
• 39:16
  the
• 39:16
  people
• 39:16
  that
• 39:17
  reach
• 39:17
  out
• 39:17
  to
• 39:17
  me
• 39:17
  are
• 39:18
  on
• 39:18
  the
• 39:18
  beginning
• 39:18
  stages
• 39:19
  of
• 39:19
  this
• 39:19
  healing
• 39:20
  journey,
• 39:20
  are
• 39:20
  just
• 39:21
  figuring
• 39:21
  out
• 39:21
  like,
• 39:22
  huh,
• 39:22
  maybe
• 39:22
  some
• 39:22
  of
• 39:22
  this
• 39:23
  did
• 39:23
  follow
• 39:23
  me
• 39:23
  into
• 39:24
  adulthood.
• 39:25
  Maybe
• 39:26
  I'm
• 39:26
  not
• 39:26
  as
• 39:26
  happy.
• 39:27
  Maybe
• 39:27
  when
• 39:27
  I
• 39:28
  ask
• 39:28
  myself,
• 39:28
  you
• 39:29
  know,
• 39:29
  or
• 39:29
  say
• 39:29
  I
• 39:29
  deserve
• 39:30
  all
• 39:30
  good
• 39:30
  things,
• 39:30
  I
• 39:30
  don't
• 39:32
  embrace
• 39:32
  that
• 39:33
  thought,
• 39:33
  you
• 39:33
  know,
• 39:34
  so
• 39:34
  the,
• 39:34
  the
• 39:35
  beginning
• 39:35
  tips
• 39:36
  and
• 39:36
  tricks
• 39:36
  are
• 39:37
  super,
• 39:37
  super
• 39:38
  helpful.
• 39:38
  Like
• 39:38
  I
• 39:38
  said,
• 39:39
  it's
• 39:39
  things
• 39:39
  that
• 39:39
  I
• 39:39
  wish
• 39:39
  I.
• 39:40
  That's
• 39:40
  why
• 39:40
  I
• 39:40
  do
• 39:40
  what
• 39:41
  I
• 39:41
  do.
• 39:41
  Because
• 39:42
  had
• 39:42
  someone
• 39:42
  told
• 39:43
  me
• 39:43
  all
• 39:43
  this
• 39:43
  stuff
• 39:43
  when
• 39:43
  I
• 39:43
  was
• 39:43
  26,
• 39:44
  it
• 39:44
  would
• 39:44
  have
• 39:44
  really
• 39:45
  sped
• 39:45
  up
• 39:45
  the
• 39:45
  whole
• 39:46
  process.
• 39:47
  Exactly.
• 39:47
  I
• 39:48
  wish
• 39:48
  I
• 39:48
  could
• 39:48
  go
• 39:48
  back
• 39:48
  to
• 39:48
  that,
• 39:49
  that
• 39:49
  20
• 39:49
  something
• 39:50
  version
• 39:50
  of
• 39:50
  me,
• 39:50
  but,
• 39:51
  you
• 39:51
  know,
• 39:51
  that's
• 39:51
  why
• 39:51
  we
• 39:52
  do
• 39:52
  what
• 39:52
  we
• 39:52
  do
• 39:52
  now.
• 39:53
  That's
• 39:53
  what
• 39:53
  we
• 39:53
  do.
• 39:53
  We
• 39:53
  do.
• 39:54
  You
• 39:54
  got
• 39:54
  that
• 39:54
  right.
• 39:55
  So,
• 39:55
  Becky,
• 39:56
  thank
• 39:56
  you
• 39:56
  so
• 39:56
  much
• 39:56
  for
• 39:57
  coming
• 39:57
  on,
• 39:58
  but
• 39:59
  where
• 39:59
  do
• 39:59
  people
• 39:59
  find
• 40:00
  you?
• 40:00
  How
• 40:00
  do
• 40:00
  they
• 40:00
  work
• 40:00
  with
• 40:01
  you?
• 40:01
  I'm
• 40:01
  gonna
• 40:01
  put
• 40:01
  everything
• 40:01
  you
• 40:02
  gave
• 40:02
  me
• 40:02
  in
• 40:02
  the
• 40:02
  show
• 40:03
  notes,
• 40:03
  but
• 40:03
  what
• 40:03
  is
• 40:03
  the
• 40:03
  best,
• 40:04
  quickest,
• 40:04
  easiest
• 40:05
  place
• 40:05
  for
• 40:05
  them
• 40:05
  to
• 40:05
  get
• 40:06
  to
• 40:06
  you?
• 40:07
  Instagram.
• 40:08
  I
• 40:08
  am
• 40:09
  there.
• 40:09
  My
• 40:09
  DMS
• 40:10
  are
• 40:10
  open.
• 40:10
  I'm
• 40:10
  also
• 40:11
  on
• 40:11
  tick
• 40:11
  tock,
• 40:11
  YouTube,
• 40:12
  all
• 40:12
  the
• 40:12
  channels
• 40:12
  that
• 40:13
  Tammy
• 40:13
  will
• 40:13
  put
• 40:13
  in
• 40:13
  there.
• 40:13
  But
• 40:14
  yeah,
• 40:14
  I
• 40:14
  answer
• 40:15
  my
• 40:15
  own
• 40:15
  emails
• 40:15
  and
• 40:16
  DMS
• 40:16
  too,
• 40:16
  so
• 40:17
  that
• 40:17
  is
• 40:18
  the
• 40:18
  easiest
• 40:18
  way
• 40:18
  to
• 40:19
  get
• 40:19
  a
• 40:19
  hold
• 40:19
  of
• 40:19
  me.
• 40:20
  You
• 40:20
  don't
• 40:20
  have
• 40:20
  an
• 40:21
  AI
• 40:21
  autoresponder
• 40:22
  bot?
• 40:23
  No,
• 40:23
  I
• 40:23
  do
• 40:24
  not
• 40:24
  have
• 40:24
  an
• 40:24
  AI
• 40:25
  auto.
• 40:25
  I
• 40:25
  am
• 40:25
  a
• 40:26
  human
• 40:26
  first
• 40:26
  person.
• 40:27
  I
• 40:27
  mean,
• 40:27
  don't
• 40:28
  get
• 40:28
  me
• 40:28
  wrong,
• 40:28
  I
• 40:28
  love
• 40:28
  my
• 40:29
  technology,
• 40:30
  but
• 40:30
  I
• 40:30
  have
• 40:30
  a
• 40:30
  psychology
• 40:31
  degree
• 40:31
  for
• 40:31
  a
• 40:31
  reason.
• 40:32
  Tech
• 40:32
  is
• 40:33
  not
• 40:33
  always
• 40:33
  my
• 40:33
  friend.
• 40:34
  No,
• 40:34
  amen
• 40:35
  to
• 40:35
  that.
• 40:35
  No,
• 40:35
  I
• 40:36
  was
• 40:36
  listening
• 40:36
  to
• 40:36
  something
• 40:37
  the
• 40:37
  other
• 40:37
  day
• 40:37
  and
• 40:37
  all
• 40:37
  the
• 40:38
  comments
• 40:38
  were,
• 40:38
  thank
• 40:38
  you
• 40:38
  so
• 40:39
  much.
• 40:39
  Thank
• 40:39
  you
• 40:39
  so
• 40:39
  much.
• 40:40
  And
• 40:40
  I'm
• 40:40
  like,
• 40:40
  this
• 40:41
  wasn't
• 40:41
  even
• 40:41
  him
• 40:42
  talking
• 40:42
  because
• 40:43
  whenever
• 40:43
  he
• 40:43
  was
• 40:43
  supposed
• 40:44
  to
• 40:44
  say
• 40:44
  lives,
• 40:44
  he
• 40:45
  said
• 40:45
  lives.
• 40:46
  Every
• 40:46
  time
• 40:47
  they
• 40:47
  lied.
• 40:48
  He
• 40:48
  lives
• 40:48
  there.
• 40:49
  No,
• 40:49
  he
• 40:49
  lives
• 40:50
  there.
• 40:50
  Oh
• 40:50
  my
• 40:50
  goodness.
• 40:51
  Right
• 40:51
  away
• 40:51
  I'm
• 40:52
  like,
• 40:52
  it
• 40:52
  is
• 40:52
  not
• 40:53
  a
• 40:53
  real
• 40:53
  person
• 40:54
  talking.
• 40:54
  Like,
• 40:55
  stop.
• 40:56
  Like.
• 40:56
  And
• 40:57
  I
• 40:57
  just
• 40:57
  turned
• 40:57
  it
• 40:57
  off.
• 40:58
  I
• 40:58
  was
• 40:58
  like,
• 40:58
  well,
• 40:58
  okay,
• 40:58
  that
• 40:59
  might
• 40:59
  have
• 40:59
  been
• 40:59
  some
• 40:59
  valuable
• 40:59
  information.
• 41:01
  And
• 41:02
  there
• 41:02
  was
• 41:02
  like
• 41:02
  5,
• 41:02
  000
• 41:03
  comments.
• 41:03
  I'm
• 41:03
  like
• 41:04
  5,
• 41:04
  000
• 41:04
  people
• 41:04
  that
• 41:04
  think
• 41:05
  they
• 41:05
  are
• 41:05
  listening
• 41:06
  to
• 41:06
  this
• 41:06
  really
• 41:06
  well
• 41:07
  respected
• 41:07
  person
• 41:08
  that
• 41:08
  they're
• 41:09
  not.
• 41:09
  Oh,
• 41:10
  it's
• 41:10
  just
• 41:10
  frustrating
• 41:11
  to
• 41:11
  me.
• 41:11
  But
• 41:11
  yes,
• 41:11
  we
• 41:12
  appreciate
• 41:12
  that.
• 41:12
  I'm.
• 41:13
  And
• 41:13
  which
• 41:13
  is
• 41:14
  why
• 41:14
  sometimes,
• 41:14
  like
• 41:15
  I
• 41:15
  say
• 41:15
  to
• 41:15
  people,
• 41:16
  I'm
• 41:16
  sorry,
• 41:16
  I
• 41:16
  got
• 41:16
  back
• 41:16
  to
• 41:17
  you
• 41:17
  in
• 41:17
  12
• 41:17
  hours
• 41:18
  and
• 41:18
  not
• 41:19
  two
• 41:20
  seconds
• 41:21
  because
• 41:22
  I
• 41:22
  actually
• 41:22
  respond
• 41:23
  to
• 41:23
  my
• 41:23
  emails
• 41:23
  too,
• 41:24
  so
• 41:24
  that's
• 41:24
  awesome.
• 41:25
  So
• 41:25
  before
• 41:25
  you
• 41:26
  leave
• 41:26
  us,
• 41:27
  can
• 41:27
  you
• 41:28
  give
• 41:28
  us
• 41:28
  one
• 41:28
  last
• 41:30
  words,
• 41:30
  a
• 41:30
  bit
• 41:31
  of
• 41:31
  words
• 41:31
  of
• 41:31
  wisdom,
• 41:32
  or
• 41:32
  what
• 41:32
  would
• 41:33
  be
• 41:33
  your
• 41:33
  final
• 41:33
  advice
• 41:34
  to
• 41:34
  people
• 41:34
  listening?
• 41:36
  Grace.
• 41:37
  100%.
• 41:38
  Give
• 41:38
  yourself
• 41:39
  grace.
• 41:39
  You're
• 41:39
  going
• 41:39
  to
• 41:39
  mess
• 41:40
  up.
• 41:40
  You're
• 41:40
  going
• 41:40
  to
• 41:40
  go
• 41:41
  backwards.
• 41:41
  Expect
• 41:42
  it.
• 41:42
  And
• 41:42
  I
• 41:42
  think
• 41:42
  if
• 41:43
  you
• 41:43
  expect
• 41:43
  it,
• 41:44
  you
• 41:44
  won't
• 41:44
  beat
• 41:44
  yourself
• 41:45
  up
• 41:45
  so
• 41:45
  bad
• 41:45
  if
• 41:46
  you
• 41:46
  do.
• 41:46
  Because
• 41:47
  even
• 41:47
  those
• 41:47
  of
• 41:47
  us
• 41:47
  like
• 41:47
  Tammy
• 41:48
  and
• 41:48
  I,
• 41:48
  who've
• 41:48
  been
• 41:49
  doing
• 41:49
  this
• 41:49
  for
• 41:50
  a
• 41:50
  very
• 41:50
  long
• 41:50
  time
• 41:51
  still
• 41:51
  have
• 41:51
  our
• 41:51
  days.
• 41:52
  So
• 41:52
  it's
• 41:52
  okay.
• 41:53
  Get
• 41:53
  back
• 41:53
  up
• 41:53
  on
• 41:53
  the
• 41:53
  horse.
• 41:55
  Perfect.
• 41:56
  Thank
• 41:56
  you
• 41:56
  so
• 41:56
  much
• 41:56
  for
• 41:57
  Becky
• 41:57
  for
• 41:57
  coming
• 41:58
  for.
• 41:58
  Thank
• 41:59
  you.
• 42:00
  Coffee.
• 42:04
  Thank
• 42:04
  you,
• 42:04
  Tammy.
• 42:05
  You're
• 42:06
  very
• 42:06
  welcome.
• 42:06
  And
• 42:06
  for
• 42:06
  everybody
• 42:07
  else
• 42:07
  out
• 42:07
  there
• 42:07
  listening,
• 42:08
  you
• 42:08
  heard
• 42:08
  it.
• 42:08
  Give
• 42:08
  yourself
• 42:09
  that
• 42:09
  grace
• 42:09
  that
• 42:09
  you
• 42:10
  so,
• 42:10
  so
• 42:10
  deserve.
• 42:11
  No
• 42:11
  matter
• 42:11
  how
• 42:11
  hard
• 42:11
  it
• 42:11
  is,
• 42:12
  you
• 42:12
  are
• 42:12
  worthy,
• 42:13
  you
• 42:13
  are
• 42:13
  lovable,
• 42:13
  you
• 42:14
  are
• 42:14
  loved.
• 42:15
  And
• 42:17
  you
• 42:17
  need
• 42:17
  to
• 42:17
  keep
• 42:18
  moving
• 42:18
  forward
• 42:19
  because
• 42:19
  you
• 42:19
  are
• 42:20
  absolutely
• 42:20
  amazing.
• 42:21
  You
• 42:21
  all
• 42:22
  have
• 42:22
  a
• 42:22
  blessed
• 42:22
  day.
• 42:23
  Bye.
• 42:24
  Bye.
• 42:27
  Now
• 42:27
  find
• 42:27
  the
• 42:28
  record
• 42:28
  button.