Latest / Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad / Dear Banya: Happy Galentine’s Day!

Transcript

Dear Banya: Happy Galentine’s Day! · Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in a.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Rub dub dub and the tub.
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: Sounds Happy Valentine's Day, Happy.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Galentine's Day and happy are you going to be home
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: for Galentine's Day? What's what are you doing today?
• 0:24
  Speaker 4: I think I should be Yeah, yeah, I think I
• 0:26
  Speaker 4: should be all day. I think so all day, all night,
• 0:29
  Speaker 4: maybe the night. The day is young Gallentine's Day. Remember
• 0:38
  Speaker 4: in uh twenty twenty Valentine's Day.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Where we were I do We were at the Roxy
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: with all of our scrubbers. Yes, we were live, scrubbing
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: in good time.
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: Scrubbing in live, the last, the second and the last
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: last shrub to ever be live.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: Maybe one day, maybe, one day we'll bring that back.
• 1:02
  Speaker 5: I'm curious about this toilet story. It's been bugging me
• 1:05
  Speaker 5: for a couple of days now. Is there something there
• 1:07
  Speaker 5: that we should be talking about?
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: It was expected etiquette from Tonya, if I'm being honest,
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: that was all.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: That's all allow. I just wanted you to know that
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: I had not gone to the bathroom for two days
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: when I'm traveling, I for some reason just like backed up,
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: and I had a situation where I had to like
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: run to the toilet if you pick up when I'm
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: thrown down, And it wasn't pleasant, and I flush her,
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: flush her down. But Becca is like claiming that there
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: was still like toilet paper and stuff in the toilet.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: But I definitely know I flushed it twice. It was
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: not nice.
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's not It's not.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: The splitter splatter.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: The thing is I was as ill. I was like
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: I was ill, Like I literally was so nauseous. So
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: I go and I'm like, that's the last thing I
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: want to see. And also like did she not see it?
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: Like did she not?
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: Did she like what it was like in the water?
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: Not gonna stick my hand and like scrub around the water?
• 2:20
  Speaker 5: Oh she left skid marks? Yeah, is that what you're saying.
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: That's a nice way I'm saying, Oh my.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: Gosh, put my hand in the water, in the toilet water.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: No.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: I flushed it twice to try and remove as much
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: as I could, But I was not putting my bare hand.
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: Raw dog, you know, the toilet toilet paper, and you
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: like it.
• 2:38
  Speaker 5: Was under the water and then you do it as
• 2:41
  Speaker 5: the water's down.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: Oh, like, is Robbie just like having to just Robbie,
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: What the hell?
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: I don't get ill like that on a regular basis.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: And I also have tools and my home that I
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: can wash with if I need to. There were no said,
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: There were no said tools in me.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: But she says, she.
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: Goes, did you not flush? I go by the way,
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: you did not bush.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: And she goes, yes, I did. I go no, there
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: was still toilet paper and she goes no. He's like
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: there was still and she goes, oh, like the spotter.
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, so you saw me.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: I left it knowing we were sharing a bathroom, and
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: I am ill.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: Crazy, What did you expect?
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: Told you.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: I was not well, and so I'm not. I didn't
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: think clearly to like flush, let the water go down,
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: and then scrub a dub dub. I was not in
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: a scrub a dub dub mood. Okay, I was.
• 3:43
  Speaker 5: Common courtesy when sharing about those ladies going in that
• 3:49
  Speaker 5: I had sweet conversations with the night before having to
• 3:53
  Speaker 5: go in there, maybe thinking it was me because I
• 3:56
  Speaker 5: was in the room.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: Sweet ladies.
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the ladies too cleaned up her.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: Oh I thought you met our friends. I was like, no,
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: what was I gonna say?
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: Oh?
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: I did want to say though. It was actually really
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: cute because when we were flying back home back to
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: lax from Mexico, unlike the women who saw us flying
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: there and we're like, oh marriage, this guy looks at
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: me with like my sash and my thing and he
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: was like what did he say? Exactly?
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: He's the best thing you'll every thing you'll.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: Ever do, and when you have kids it's going to
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: be even better.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: Nice.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: So nice.
• 4:30
  Speaker 5: You went full sash full, NonStop both ways. That's great.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: Ways we got We got.
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: Like multiple veils and sashes. Selection.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: I was actually upset that I didn't I forgot on
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: the boat because I didn't know where we were going.
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: I was upset that I didn't bring my sashes in
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: my veil. That would have been epic.
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: Hmm, it wasn't more lack of options.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: Should have worn one to work today?
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: Honestly, why not tomorrow?
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: The week is still young.
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: We do have a Dear Bonya episode, so we go.
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: Let's begin from Tea.
• 5:07
  Speaker 5: Hello, Tanya, Becka, Mark and Easton. I'm a huge fan
• 5:10
  Speaker 5: of the pod and one of the rare male scrubbers,
• 5:14
  Speaker 5: and boy do I have an alama. I like advice
• 5:16
  Speaker 5: on long story short. My husband and I are separated.
• 5:18
  Speaker 5: We're cordial in all, but no chance of getting back together.
• 5:21
  Speaker 5: I have a friend who's in a different state. We've
• 5:23
  Speaker 5: been good friends for about twelve years. We are frett
• 5:25
  Speaker 5: brothers in college. I came out at twenty three and
• 5:27
  Speaker 5: he told me, I wish you'd told me sooner. I've
• 5:29
  Speaker 5: always wanted to be with you. We are both in
• 5:31
  Speaker 5: the closet and in the same fraternity very twenty eleven behavior,
• 5:34
  Speaker 5: but we've always remained in touched, and to be quite honest,
• 5:38
  Speaker 5: I love him also. To preface, he is not the
• 5:41
  Speaker 5: reason for the divorce with make her and husband. A
• 5:43
  Speaker 5: part of me wants to leave California to pursue this
• 5:45
  Speaker 5: is this crazy. I'm sure i can find a job
• 5:48
  Speaker 5: and everything out there. I'm not worried about that. I'm
• 5:49
  Speaker 5: just afraid to do something so drastic. Any advice would
• 5:53
  Speaker 5: be appreciated. Love you all, and FYI, Tanya. A vodkatonic
• 5:56
  Speaker 5: deserves to be drank with a straw. Let's cut Robbie
• 5:59
  Speaker 5: a break lots.
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: I love it. I love a male scrub.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: I know, honored, honored t.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: My suggestion is you don't pick up and move your life.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: I think you date get to know each other long distance.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: You already know each other, but you can re get
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: to know each other on a romantic level now that
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: you're both in that position to do so, and go
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: and make trips where you see each other and stay
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: with each other and really get to know each other
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: emotionally with the distance, and then you make that decision.
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: It's a big it's a big move.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: T SO T T T T. I'm going to the
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: opposite Oh you said here, you were fraternity brothers, so
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: you already know him. You've already established this is not
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: some stranger danger. To be honest, I love him. This
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: is someone that you love. If you can get a
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: job out there, why the hell not. Life is short
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: and long. Why not give it?
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: But why not do a couple of visits and make
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: sure it's really there and like and be together a
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: long distance before you pick up and move your life.
• 7:12
  Speaker 5: Because then it's for him. If you go out a
• 7:15
  Speaker 5: couple of times and they say, Okay, I've decided I'm
• 7:18
  Speaker 5: moving to North Carolina or wherever it is right, that
• 7:20
  Speaker 5: puts a ton of pressure on the relationship if he
• 7:23
  Speaker 5: just happens like in his mind he knows what he's doing.
• 7:25
  Speaker 5: But to the other guy, I'm just moving to North Carolina.
• 7:28
  Speaker 5: I got a job up there.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.
• 7:30
  Speaker 5: We when we go on sometime, there's no pressure on
• 7:33
  Speaker 5: the relationship.
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: There is not really.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he's still moving forward, picking up his whole life
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: to move or something that he doesn't even know is
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: gonna work.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you something. If this were a job,
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: we would tell him to fly out and.
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: Move it out, start a job. It's not a job.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: Why should we not act with our hearts at about
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: a job, buying around thing. You can to get the
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: job of your dreams, but not the man of your dreams.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: I don't want to live in a world like that.
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: I do, I'm not. You can't base your whole life
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: around a person.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: You can base your whole life around a job.
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: I don't think you should do that either, Well, society does.
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: I'm just saying I think and that I think.
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: The truth is is that if Robbie lived in Ohio
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: in a farm, not not even in a farm in Ohio,
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: and you had been friends with him, and then he
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: he was like, I love you and you're like, I
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: love you that you would not move your life from
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: what you are doing now and who you are friends
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: with now to the middle of nowhere, Ohio.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: If I got if I could keep my job, no, no,
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: you can't get Tea can get a job out there.
• 8:52
  Speaker 5: You could get a job out there, but you couldn't
• 8:54
  Speaker 5: have this job.
• 8:55
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: Well, if I could get a job that's equally distant,
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: equal whatever, comparable, comparable, comparable, then yeah I would. You
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: could leave all of you would leave all.
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: Of us for a man you don't even know.
• 9:10
  Speaker 5: Your parents in southern California.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: Very guys. They can always move around. We can all move.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: We're all nomads at the end of the day.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: I would feel very abandoned if you did that. If
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: you were like, I'm picking up I'm moving for this
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: one man.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: Well guess what I'm not.
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: But you're encouraging Tea to do that.
• 9:28
  Speaker 5: And in terms of Tea, I think if t has
• 9:30
  Speaker 5: best friends, question, what is keeping you here in California?
• 9:36
  Speaker 5: Do you have family here? Do you have friends here?
• 9:37
  Speaker 5: Do you have a social network here?
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 9:39
  Speaker 5: I think that's a good question.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: If Tea is a total owner, has no friends here,
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: hates his job here and this could be the start
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: of a new Well.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: He didn't say that, So we're just going off of
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: what we're just assuming.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: Well, you're assuming wrong, You're you don't know, you don't know.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: I'm preparing for the worst.
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: Here's the thing. T If you're like, what is keeping
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: me in LA?
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: I don't have friend groups, I'm not like attached here,
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: I'm not connected here, then I say go for it.
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: If you have a life that you love.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: In LA and the only thing that you're thinking about
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: moving for is this guy that you haven't been in
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: a relationship with before, I would slow it down, do
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: the distance thing, get to know each other on the
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: romantic level. And then if you're like this is the
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: this is it, he's the one, you go.
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: That's what I think.
• 10:28
  Speaker 5: He might be looking for a change after a divorce,
• 10:30
  Speaker 5: and sometimes good to kind of start clean, whether it's
• 10:33
  Speaker 5: for the guy or not.
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: All right, next, no loyalty, just pick up and go.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: Life is short and long.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah. But if I was like, I'm moving and I'm
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: going to Nashville because I met some of the love
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: of my life, you.
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: Would be so you'd be like, you're gonna move for
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: one person?
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, if you met this person on Hinge, but not
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: somebody that you went to college with and.
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: You knew and you were I wouldn't.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: Do it for Robbie. When if I met him on Hinge,
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: should I ask you? If you say no?
• 11:01
  Speaker 5: You said yes, you said That's exactly the quote right there.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: They know each other. This isn't a stranger, but Robbie's
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: was a stranger. Trying to compare the situations and it
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: just wasn't comparable.
• 11:17
  Speaker 5: Comparable. All right, let's move on. Hello ladies, thank you
• 11:21
  Speaker 5: for always brightening my day with the podcast. Whenever I
• 11:23
  Speaker 5: need an escape or a smile, I can rely on
• 11:25
  Speaker 5: you all. I was in a year long relationship until
• 11:27
  Speaker 5: he decided to end it abruptly out of the blue.
• 11:30
  Speaker 5: We met on Hinge. He lived fifteen minutes for me.
• 11:33
  Speaker 5: Things were so positive, healthy, open, the chemistry amazing. His
• 11:36
  Speaker 5: values and life goes aligned perfectly with mine. Back in September,
• 11:40
  Speaker 5: he brought bought a house an hour away from me.
• 11:42
  Speaker 5: Before he moved, he consulted me and kept asking if
• 11:45
  Speaker 5: I would break up with him because it was too far.
• 11:47
  Speaker 5: I said no, I'd never do that. We ended up
• 11:49
  Speaker 5: doing all the home projects together. To the point where
• 11:51
  Speaker 5: he even put the handles on the cabinets at my
• 11:53
  Speaker 5: height I'm short, because he anticipated me eventually moving in
• 11:56
  Speaker 5: with him when we moved. When he moved, he asked
• 12:00
  Speaker 5: if I could break my lease, but I wasn't ready
• 12:01
  Speaker 5: for that, as we'd only been together five months. He
• 12:03
  Speaker 5: even told his mom that I'd eventually been moving in
• 12:05
  Speaker 5: with him when my lease was up, and we talked
• 12:07
  Speaker 5: about doing spring projects together. Fast forward to the breakup.
• 12:11
  Speaker 5: We had not seen each other for two weeks because
• 12:13
  Speaker 5: of the holidays and things shifted. His explanation was, we
• 12:16
  Speaker 5: had lost our spark. We don't feel as connected. I
• 12:19
  Speaker 5: told him how I felt because I'd fallen in love
• 12:21
  Speaker 5: with him, but he was not saying anything, so I
• 12:22
  Speaker 5: could tell his feelings were not the same. I asked
• 12:24
  Speaker 5: him if there was someone else, because they seemed so abrupt,
• 12:27
  Speaker 5: and he just kept saying no, no, no, we just lost
• 12:28
  Speaker 5: our spark, but he didn't deny there was someone else.
• 12:30
  Speaker 5: A few weeks later, I found out there was someone
• 12:32
  Speaker 5: else and they're spending more time together. I'm just looking
• 12:36
  Speaker 5: for advice on how to move on from this. I'm
• 12:37
  Speaker 5: almost thirty and thought he was and clearly he was
• 12:39
  Speaker 5: not my person, but man, was my intuition so wrong
• 12:42
  Speaker 5: about him when I truly thought I was going to
• 12:44
  Speaker 5: marry him. I've gotten back into working out, but any
• 12:47
  Speaker 5: tips or advised would be helpful to fill the void.
• 12:49
  Speaker 5: I'm just trying to find my person and I hate
• 12:52
  Speaker 5: that I miss him all the time when he's happy
• 12:53
  Speaker 5: over there with his new girl.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: I haven't easy short term solution. There's this book called
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: Calling in the One and it requires a lot of
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: time downtime, and you have that right now, so it's
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: like internal work, it's therapy, and you have to do
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: it every single day. To me, this sounds like a
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: perfect exercise for you to do in the short term.
• 13:20
  Speaker 5: Because you're up breaking habits, breaking.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: Cycles, breaking habits, putting stuff into the universe, manifesting and
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: it does. It's it's like girthy. It takes time and
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: energy and effort, and you're putting it to back into
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: yourself to grow, to learn to blossom. So that's how
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: for me, that's how I would feel the void currently
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: for the next seven weeks.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: Is it weird to go for like two weeks during
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: the holidays where you don't I guess if you don't
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: see each other if you're like traveling and stuff, but
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: to not be like talking consistently enough.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: Well, she didn't say that they weren't talking.
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she said we had not oh yeah, not seen
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: each other. But that's when things shifted. So I guess
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: he maybe connected with this new girl. Well this isn't
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: your guy.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: No, she knows as how to feel the void.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: I think you just know that if you felt, I
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: think it's just let yourself heal and there's gonna be
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: parts about that that just suck. Like I think sometimes.
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: It's like.
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: There's this rush to get through things, and sometimes you
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: can't rush moving on from someone. I definitely don't think
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: you need to look at his Instagram and stuff like
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: maybe uh, I don't know what happens that you can't
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: make him block her, but you just meete him. Just
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: make sure you don't like naturally see his stuff and
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: try not to go find it, even though I know
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: that's hard because if you see them together, you're reminded
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: of it.
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: That's just gonna set you back.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: People say to just like move on and like do
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: stuff to like better yourself and fill your time, but
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: like I'm a true fan of feeling your feelings and
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: if you need to look in the mirror and cry, Like,
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: look in the mirror and cry.
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying, Like let yourself just be bummed
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: and hurt about it, and also surround yourself with people
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: and things that you love, because that's like you have
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: to keep living. And you're gonna have a moment when
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: you go like, oh my gosh, I haven't thought of
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: him in so long, and it's gonna be the best
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: feeling ever. I remember there was this guy that had
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: the biggest crush on for years, you yeah, And I
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: was like, I will never get over him, you know who?
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: And I was like, I will never get over him.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: And then I remember there was this moment and I
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: was like I thought about him and I go, oh
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: my gosh, I don't remember the last time I thought
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: about him, and and it was the best feeling ever
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: because in my mind, I thought I would never be
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: able to like not think about him, and like it's funny,
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: it's like laughable now because it was so unserious, but.
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: I was just so attached to that crush.
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: And you're gonna have that moment, and in the meantime,
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: you can fill your time with the thing and.
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: People you love.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: If you are able to like go travel to places,
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: even if it's like a little road trip away where
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: you listen to your favorite songs and go be somewhere
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: that is beautiful.
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: You know, just do things that things that you love
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: to do.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: Even without a person, even without a significant other, or
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: make that to do list.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: Of like dreams, goals, vision board. But that's also in
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: calling in the one.
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: So you know, yeah, I feel like they got everything.
• 16:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that was good advice, Begga, it was. I thought
• 16:31
  Speaker 5: that was really good advice. I'm not saying yours. Wasn't
• 16:33
  Speaker 5: that you're saying, bead because we all have that that
• 16:36
  Speaker 5: that breakup that was so often. Oh that was it.
• 16:39
  Speaker 5: She was the one. That's the one that got away. No,
• 16:41
  Speaker 5: she wasn't. No that you never think about her ever again.
• 16:44
  Speaker 5: When the right thing comes along, it's just a memory
• 16:46
  Speaker 5: and just time, just time. One thing I want to
• 16:52
  Speaker 5: get to after the break. We break, so you guys
• 16:54
  Speaker 5: can discuss who you're talking about.
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: Uh.
• 16:56
  Speaker 5: Marina has questions about the podcast. I like the BTS question.
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: Okay, okay, okay, we'll be back. All right, we are back.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: So we have some bts questions from Marina.
• 17:26
  Speaker 5: Yeah, hello, y'all are the best. The dynamic between the
• 17:28
  Speaker 5: four of you is unmatched. Random email, But I have
• 17:31
  Speaker 5: but a day one Scrubber, and I'm genuinely curious on
• 17:33
  Speaker 5: some of the inner workings of the podcast if you
• 17:35
  Speaker 5: don't mind sharing. You guys mentioned you attempted to rename
• 17:39
  Speaker 5: the podcast and it didn't work out. Why not and
• 17:41
  Speaker 5: what would you rename it?
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: We wanted to rename it? Is this the recent thing
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: that we talked about.
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: I don't know, but okay, I think.
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: That No, yeah, no we can't because it's still someday
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: in the future.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: We will do it.
• 17:57
  Speaker 5: Well, start a new one or rename this one.
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: We tried to renamed this one, but we got shot
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: down by the company.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because you build familiar equity or I don't know what.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was just like a whole thing and we
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: were like, Okay, it's not topic.
• 18:14
  Speaker 5: It doesn't really represent the show much anymore.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: Correct, right, But it's like that was the point.
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: But our listeners are Scrubber, so I get it. There's
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: like this attachment to the concept and the name.
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: What.
• 18:24
  Speaker 5: I feel bad for the listeners because they have my
• 18:26
  Speaker 5: favorite podcast scrub again. Oh really, what's it about?
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: Well, these two girls and these two guys, why are
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: they doctors?
• 18:33
  Speaker 4: No?
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: Clean the dentist.
• 18:38
  Speaker 5: No, nothing like that. It's complicated. Yeah.
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: Anyways, yeah the name.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: If we had way, we would have renamed it.
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: And it's so good. But we can't disclose.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: It because we will do it one day, yeah, full faith,
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: and we will do it one day.
• 18:54
  Speaker 5: Where you guys take breaks, how long do you actually break?
• 18:57
  Speaker 5: Do you talk and discuss topic moving forward or is
• 18:59
  Speaker 5: just a quick and talking for the ads to be inserted.
• 19:01
  Speaker 5: And by the way, Tanya trying to break it the
• 19:03
  Speaker 5: wrong times is my favorite thing.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: They're like super long commercial breaks. We talk about all
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: of our future.
• 19:10
  Speaker 5: We listened to the commercials with you write down our
• 19:13
  Speaker 5: favorite spots just to make sure we buy.
• 19:15
  Speaker 6: Or the whole time.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: They are like five to ten seconds and then we
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: come back. So but Tanya trying to break it the
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: wrong time is also one of my favorite things. Become
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: a thing.
• 19:26
  Speaker 5: It's very funny. It's funny because well, anyway, we've talked
• 19:30
  Speaker 5: about this, but but the one that we just did
• 19:32
  Speaker 5: a little while ago, we broke tiny something back, like
• 19:35
  Speaker 5: did you ever go to that thing back, It's like, yeah,
• 19:37
  Speaker 5: what to the thing? Oh yeah, cool, okay, here we go,
• 19:38
  Speaker 5: come back. It was it.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: It was just five seconds, yeah, about five seconds, five
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: to ten seconds.
• 19:42
  Speaker 5: Do you guys ever listen to the episodes?
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: I've listened to some, but not. I don't listen to
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: every week at like at all.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: No, I definitely don't listen every week. I listened to some.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: I definitely listen usually when I'm off, like when I'm
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: not on. Yeah, just to like, you know, you and
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: Robbie's episode that you did together.
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, listen to the I listened back to the one
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: when Haley and I went public.
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: But it's almost like you're.
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: I don't know, you're it's almost like you're seeing an
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: episode of something that you already saw, and it's.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: Like fresh for me, and this is maybe a double
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: edged sword or I don't know if that's what I
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: really meant. But if I listened back to these, I
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: surely would not. I would get anxiety about, Yes, like
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: I would think and I would get in my head
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: about like what I'm sharing and what I'm saying and
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: how I'm saying it, and I feel like that's bad
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: for me. Like I just feel like I would just
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: become a shell of myself. So I think it's better
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: for me not to watch or listen.
• 20:40
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I also don't like hearing my voice.
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: Like sometimes Haley's watching my Instagram stories and I'm like,
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: what do you Why turn that off?
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: But why is the sound on? And she's like, oh,
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: like if it's an AD or something, She's like, I
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: just wanted to watch so you guys can get the view.
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, put this sound.
• 20:55
  Speaker 5: Keep watching an interesting phenomenon.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and then I don't need to listen to it.
• 21:03
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I get that.
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: But something else I was gonna say about listen, Oh.
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: It would be fun to go and listen to like
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: all episodes, I bet, because that would feel like brand
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: new to us.
• 21:12
  Speaker 5: That's true. Uh yeah, there's a I used to do
• 21:16
  Speaker 5: that Who Wants to Be a Millionaire show at Disneyland,
• 21:18
  Speaker 5: And there's an episode on YouTube I just found out recently.
• 21:20
  Speaker 5: And watching yourself and having no idea what you were
• 21:24
  Speaker 5: about to say is very jarring. It's weird. It's a
• 21:27
  Speaker 5: weird experience.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: I cannot rewatch, especially stuff on TV that I do,
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: because you pick yourself apart. It's like so dark and like,
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: I just think it's like a human nature that we
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: do it. And I know a lot of people that
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: are like in the industry that like watch back and
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: they like fixate on like even just like physical stuff,
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: let alone, like not how they're acting or how they're
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: saying it, you know, And I'm like, I just don't.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: I just don't find it healthy.
• 21:52
  Speaker 5: We have a lot of podcast hosts that that asked
• 21:55
  Speaker 5: to listen to them before they're released and then they
• 21:57
  Speaker 5: send fifty edits because I didn't like when I said that,
• 21:59
  Speaker 5: I like, it's not my laugh there, and I was like, no,
• 22:03
  Speaker 5: best to raw Dog.
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: Well, I'll say like that.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: There are times where I the next question is like
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: do you ever do you ever end it and ask
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: like why do you say that?
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: Or did that come out right? And I was gonna
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: say sometimes during the.
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: Breaks, I'll look at Easton or Mark if I say
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: something and I'm like, we cut that out.
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: So that is another thing, But that.
• 22:19
  Speaker 5: Is pretty rare.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: Extremely I think it's not.
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: I I never listened back after the episode is done,
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: like I do it on the moment because I kind
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: of it's like out of my head once we end
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: the podcast.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but I don't think you do it that often.
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: Not often, but I'm saying it's a.
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: Handful of times.
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: This is years podcast, I know, but I'm saying, like,
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: I don't. I never asked to listen to the podcast.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: I've done that like twice. I think where I'm like
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: East and westened that to me so I can hear
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: how it sounded. But like typically it's like on the run,
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: where I'm like, let's just yeah.
• 22:51
  Speaker 5: Also, I definitely watched the videos that Crystal puts up on.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: Instagram, Crystal the Wizard, and those are.
• 22:59
  Speaker 5: And then Marina says, whatever you're doing, don't change the thing. Ps.
• 23:02
  Speaker 5: I'm a nurse and I work with a doctor that
• 23:04
  Speaker 5: works with the Grays writers to give them medical stories.
• 23:07
  Speaker 5: So some of the patient storylines on the show are
• 23:09
  Speaker 5: spin offs of my actual patients I've cared for. He
• 23:11
  Speaker 5: has met Ellen Pompeo and said she's very kind and
• 23:14
  Speaker 5: very funny. Thank you all for bringing light into our days.
• 23:19
  Speaker 5: Speaking of listening to old episodes, that's what actually has
• 23:22
  Speaker 5: been doing. I've been listening to old podcasts again for
• 23:24
  Speaker 5: the first time since I first found you guys a
• 23:26
  Speaker 5: few years ago. I was going through a rough breakup
• 23:29
  Speaker 5: with someone I thought was the one, but she wasn't
• 23:30
  Speaker 5: confident in her sexuality. I listened to Haley's music a
• 23:33
  Speaker 5: lot for comfort during that time and shortly after when
• 23:35
  Speaker 5: you all announced your relationship publicly, and that's how I
• 23:38
  Speaker 5: found your podcast. Since then, I always listened to you, guys,
• 23:40
  Speaker 5: and the four of you have become what felt like
• 23:42
  Speaker 5: friends who I've been with through the roughest times like
• 23:45
  Speaker 5: finding out my mom has cancer and dealing with that,
• 23:47
  Speaker 5: to the happy times like getting a new job and
• 23:49
  Speaker 5: a girlfriend. While listening back, I'd always hear you guys
• 23:52
  Speaker 5: talk about how you wanted to figure out what was
• 23:54
  Speaker 5: wrong with Becca, and at least one time she even
• 23:56
  Speaker 5: says she feels like she just hasn't met the right
• 23:58
  Speaker 5: person yet. Listening from the future, this is so funny
• 24:01
  Speaker 5: and frustrating to hear both of you talk about the
• 24:03
  Speaker 5: struggles of your love lives, knowing you both find you
• 24:06
  Speaker 5: forever people very very soon, but have no clue at
• 24:09
  Speaker 5: the time. Thank you to all four of you for
• 24:11
  Speaker 5: bringing comfort and laughter to so many of us. We
• 24:13
  Speaker 5: love you and that's a good lesson for U. Longtime
• 24:16
  Speaker 5: scrubber from earlier in the show and tea for that. Yeah,
• 24:20
  Speaker 5: you never know when it's right around the corner.
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: It's so true.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: Uh. Tanya even on her bachelorette said she wasn't looking.
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: What was your quote?
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: She said she wasn't looking when she when she matched
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: with Robbie and Pauline and I were.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: Like, okay, no, Paulina said, I said, I wasn't desperate
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: when I matched with Robbie, like I wasn't when I
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: it was Sierra that matched with Robbie and told me
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: to start talking to him. Had it not been for Sierra,
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: I probably wouldn't have engaged. I was kind of like
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: aloof about it.
• 24:50
  Speaker 5: I was.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: Not to say I wasn't desperately looking for somebody for
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: the past ten years, but in that moment, I wasn't like, like,
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: I mean, you know, it's actually a miracle. I didn't settle.
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: No, that's I think that's what we were talking about.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: I really settled because I was desperate because I wanted
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: to get married and like have a baby, and I
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: didn't settle.
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: We were saying, it's it's so wonderful that Robbie turned
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: out to be such a wonderful human and that he's
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: good looking because Tanya was on the verge of really
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: settling for whom stever.
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: Would settle down with her.
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: That's actually not true. You just think there was guys
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: that I know, But there were guys that I dated
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: that would have married me, but I was like not
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: wanting to marry them.
• 25:46
  Speaker 5: Norue, Yeah who you were, I don't feel like you
• 25:48
  Speaker 5: were that deep in any of.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: Those interesting to like look back on, because right after
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: I went through like my big breakup, the one that
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: like crushed me to my core, and I like wasn't
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: ready to like date. I was just like getting back out.
• 26:00
  Speaker 5: There fifteenth anniversary of that.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: The two guys I dated immediately after him like wanted
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: to wipe me up.
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: Wow, Oh I don't know those No, I was pre
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: pre bet.
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: I don't remember. I remember one of their first names,
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: but I don't even remember the other one's first name.
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: But they like wanted to wipe me up. And I
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: was like so not in that headspace. And then it
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: just like flipped because like once I was like looking,
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: it was just like, oh.
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's how like life sometimes works. Were life's at
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: your fast all I'm saying. We were just saying, like
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: it's so great because you, you were definitely on the hunt, Like,
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: by no means were you just sitting back and waiting
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: for him to show up at the door.
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: If you want a job, if you want the job
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: of your dreams, would you just sit back and just
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: let it fall in your lap. No, you'd be sending
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: resumes to every place that you could think of. You
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: would be sending baby shoes with your card on them,
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: like you would be doing giving the most to get
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: your dream job. So if I want my dream husband,
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: why would I not be doing the absolute most?
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: But you didn't because we had to like fully convince
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: you to get on dates because you were so anti
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: dating apps.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: And guess what I did.
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but I'm saying you weren't doing the most.
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: Well, I was doing the most. In many ways, I
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: was doing more than most.
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: Simply calling in the one was the most. In my opinion.
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: I would never, I'm sorry.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: My personality I could and would never be able to
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: do that consist like I would probably do two pages.
• 27:21
  Speaker 5: And and make it a setting a plate for dinner
• 27:24
  Speaker 5: for no one like I admire.
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: It because I could never.
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: And now she's setting a table for picking her table
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: settings for her wedding.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: Exactly exactly abouta sat ladder for the people in the back.
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: Now she's now, she's setting her picking out her wedding.
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: Table setting at the wedding.
• 27:48
  Speaker 5: All right, when we come back, we have an update.
• 27:50
  Speaker 5: I love updates, follow up.
• 27:53
  Speaker 6: We never do them never.
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: All right, we are back with the final Dear Bonya from.
• 28:20
  Speaker 5: Bailey I Becka, Tanya marcant Easton. This is an update
• 28:22
  Speaker 5: from episode Dear Bania Wife Swap October tenth, twenty twenty four.
• 28:27
  Speaker 5: I was the lesbian with a husband asking for advice
• 28:30
  Speaker 5: in that episode, so greatly appreciated all of your guys'
• 28:33
  Speaker 5: advice and encouragement. I did have that very difficult conversation
• 28:36
  Speaker 5: with him shortly after that episode. I told him I
• 28:39
  Speaker 5: don't want to wake up one date when I'm fifty
• 28:41
  Speaker 5: and regret not having lived a truly authentic life, and
• 28:44
  Speaker 5: that as much as I have cherished our friendship, it
• 28:46
  Speaker 5: was time for me to choose myself and that means
• 28:48
  Speaker 5: I need to leave it. Of course, has not been
• 28:52
  Speaker 5: the easiest journey. There have been many ups and downs,
• 28:54
  Speaker 5: but now months later, I can say that I am
• 28:55
  Speaker 5: most authentically happy that I have ever been. I've come
• 28:58
  Speaker 5: out to my family, which went so much better than expected.
• 29:02
  Speaker 5: And I have even met someone recently and have finally
• 29:04
  Speaker 5: been able to experience all of the feelings and emotions
• 29:07
  Speaker 5: that come with connecting with someone on all levels. And
• 29:09
  Speaker 5: let me say, I now know that experiencing those feelings
• 29:12
  Speaker 5: outweighs the possibility of every bad outcome I had played
• 29:15
  Speaker 5: out in my head beforehand. If there are any other
• 29:18
  Speaker 5: scrubbers out there who have struggled with something similar, just
• 29:21
  Speaker 5: know you are not alone and you owe it to
• 29:23
  Speaker 5: yourself to live authentically. Thank you guys for everything.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: Greatay, Yeah, happy ending.
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: It's so true. It was.
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: I remember when before Haley and I came out, I
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: was like, oh my gosh, getting getting to experience this
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: type of love and feelings, and like this type of
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: partnership makes anything bad that could happen with us going public,
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: it makes it worth it. Like I'll take it, you know,
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: because like if the opposite was not being with Haley,
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: then what's the point, you know.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just as to like be off that live
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: your life off authentically as you want.
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: As you are, as you are, sexuality.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: Preference, like your hobbies. If something seems not cool and
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: you're embarrassed to do it, like do it?
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: You get one life and it's short and long. It's
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: short and long.
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, both short and long.
• 30:19
  Speaker 5: Okay you said that a few times and it's a
• 30:21
  Speaker 5: little bit of a head scratcher.
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: But yeah, it was said to me on the flight
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: Cabo from these women. You know, life is short but long?
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: Or did they say it was just long life?
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: I wasn't there. I mean I was there, but I
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: was further back.
• 30:33
  Speaker 5: I've been hearing the one lately. The days are long,
• 30:35
  Speaker 5: but the years are short.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: Exactly same, same, same.
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: I wonder if that's what they said to you.
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: Hard to say, it's hard to know, it's hard to know.
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: The same, same thing.
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: But thank you, Thank y'all for always writing in. We
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: love doing these episodes. They are like my favorite. And
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: if you have questions or comments or concerns, dmos not concerns,
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: but dms on Instagram at scrubbing in pod or email
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: us at scrub in at aheartmedia dot com.
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: Save the drama for your mama, yeah.
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: Or really just anyone else. We We're just we're just
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: here to live, laugh and love.
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we love you all so much.
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: Have a wonderful weekend, Happy Valentine's Day, Galentine's Day, Love you,
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: gin you so much and bye.