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2 Facts You Need To Accept If You Truly Want to Change · Healing with Purpose

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Healing with Purpose Podcast, a place where we discuss how healing ourselves helps us find our purpose.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Kenya Marie.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: Let's get into it.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: So today I want to talk a little bit about how easy it is to be so willing to believe something that's not true to avoid having to face a harder truth.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a lot to that, I'm realizing with so many different aspects, but I'm gonna give an example of how I did that and kind of what I did to get out of that type of mindset.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: So I used to have such a difficult time losing weight, and I thought I was doing everything that I needed to do, but you know, I looked back and I was 30 pounds overweight.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: I had terrible skin, I wasn't, you know, super confident in my body, and I thought I was doing everything right because I went to the gym and because I ate fairly well during the week.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, and so I was getting really frustrated.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, five years had passed and I was really frustrated because nothing seemed to really change.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: And so I decided to join this company that basically promised quick weight loss.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: And should I say the name of the company?
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: The the company was called It Works, and I don't even know if they're like still in business.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: I literally have no idea, but I was in college and it was a skinny wraps company, and like all logic of like, oh yeah, no, you need to exercise well and eat well, like that wasn't even in my mind at all.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: All I cared about was that this company said if you put on a a wrap, it'll be quick and you can lose weight.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: And so I bought the product and got so bought into the idea that I started being a consultant for them.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: And it was a really short time, like maybe I don't know, eight months of my life.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: But now that I'm I don't six years removed from that, I look back and I'm like, oh my gosh, like I was so willing to believe something that logically I knew wasn't actually probably right because I was I was that afraid to do the harder thing.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: And the harder thing in that case was really cleaning up my diet.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I thought I ate well because I had salads, you know, in like chicken.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, yeah, I have protein and I have, you know, vegetables.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like I thought that was good, but I wasn't really eating throughout the day.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: And when the weekend came, I was eating so much crap and drinking so much alcohol.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: And that was my life for like five years straight.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so not only did I not feel my best, like I didn't look my best, and because I knew I didn't look my best, it just continued to make me not feel my best.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: And so it was just like this terrible like loop of just not fun.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: And so I didn't want to face the hard truth, which is that if I want to change my body, I need to do something that I've never done before.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: And because I've never done it, it's going to be hard.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna have to accept the fact that it's gonna be hard and and just do something different.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: And so I ended up realizing, like, oh my gosh, these wraps don't freaking work, and this is crazy.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I bought into something that, you know, really was just there to profit.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I went the opposite route, I said, okay, I'm gonna do something I've never done before.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: I've been trying this gym thing out on my own for years now.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: I've been, you know, eating the way I've been eating, thinking it's okay.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: Clearly, nothing's really changing.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I need to do something I've never done.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: I ended up going to a festival in Palm Springs, and I met this girl, and she was so like fit, but she was still having so much fun.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I know it's a weird way to like be attracted to like a coach, but I was like, oh my gosh, like this girl is like so fit, but she's still like taking shots.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like, how is she like how how does she have this balance?
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's so much fun.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I was probably like 20, I don't even know, four or something at the time.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: So, or like 23, maybe.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: So I was like, Okay, this is a really cool life.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so I ended up going up to her and talking to her.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: Her name was Alex is Alex, and um, she ended up, you know, telling me she was a fitness coach, she was also DJ, like she was like this super cool, like rad personality.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so I followed her for a couple of months on Instagram, and then eventually I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna like ask her for help.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I clearly don't know what I'm doing, so I'm just gonna ask her for help.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna do something different.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: I had to face all of my fears of like my my my biggest one was oh my gosh, well, I know better.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't need help from other people.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: So that was my big thing.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that's something that you can relate to.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're someone like me who like I was an athlete, so I was like, I know what to do.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't need to ask anybody for help.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna pay for you know for help.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: And then I really had to swallow my pride.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, okay, it doesn't matter that I played soccer, it doesn't matter that like I'm an athlete.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: I clearly don't know, I don't know something.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: So I need to, I need to ask.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: So my first thing, first hurdle that I had to get through was asking for help and like putting my ego to the side and saying, like, I actually don't know this, so it's okay to ask for help.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: The second thing is that I had to face my fear of actually changing aspects of my life.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: I knew that if I were to hire a coach and I would be paying her, like I don't, I do not just like throwing my money away.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: So if I'm gonna put my money into something, if I'm gonna invest in this person, I'm actually gonna give it a good shot.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so I realized that, okay, by paying her, like because that's the way that I value, you know, money, like if I'm investing in something, I'm going to give it my attention.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not just bawling out here, especially at I was at that time, I was just not just bawling, right?
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: I did not just have money coming out the wazoo and like, oh yeah, I could spend on like a coach, but I knew it was important because I knew that the longer I didn't do something, the longer I was going to feel this way.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: And the longer I felt this way, the longer, you know, my my internal struggles with anxiety and social anxiety and all of these things that probably so many people weren't really aware of but were eating me up alive.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like I knew that if I didn't do any anything to change that, then those feelings were gonna last forever.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so I had to face the fact and face that fear of, oh my gosh, I'm gonna have to do something that's a little bit different.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I don't know what it is yet.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't really hired her, but I know, like, you know, this is not going to be a walk in the park.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so I had to face that fear.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: And then after I got through those and I hired Alex on as a coach, she taught me that it isn't about being perfect in what we do with our food.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: And she taught me so many things that I didn't know at that time.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't really know much about macronutrients.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't really know, you know, how to weigh out food or anything like that.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so I, you know, learned so much from her.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: And during that time, I started to change my behaviors and change my habits and realize that it's not about being perfect and it's not about being spot on with like, oh, never drinking alcohol again, or you know, never or always having to eat vegetables all day, every day, or having to eat a ton of chicken like all day.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like I, you know, I realized through working with her that, oh my gosh, no, you can make food, your relationship with food, so much fun.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, you can be creative with it.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, it's going to require a little bit more time and a little bit more attention.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, it's not as easy as like going through the drive-thru, which I would do often because it was just easy and convenient.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, it takes a little bit more time, but it's worth it.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: And so I started to follow her plan.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: And in my time with her, I lost about 20 pounds or so, which was huge for me.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that was a huge thing.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: I had been trying to lose this weight for like five years.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, I lost 20 pounds in like that first three months.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, wow, this is crazy.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: And um, at that point, I was getting really interested in bodybuilding.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: She was super amazing and humble enough to say, listen, although she competed herself, I am not in a place to coach like competitors right now.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: And so I ended up leaving her and only for that reason.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, she was absolutely incredible.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: And um, and yeah, so after that, I kind of went on my own.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: I I lost an additional like 15 pounds.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so, and it wasn't really just about the weight for me.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like I was just getting skin, you know, super skinny just because I want to be super skinny.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to feel good, and so that was like my driving motivator was that I just wanted to feel good because I did not like the way that I was feeling in my body, and that's super shitty, uh, especially as a woman.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like you want to feel good in your body, you want to feel good in your skin, and I didn't.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: And so I, you know, that that was my driving motivator.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: Every time things were getting hard during this process, I knew that at the end of the day, if I kept doing the small thing, if I kept doing it every single day, like eventually I'm gonna see some form of result.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so that, you know, is is kind of how I went through that process and just constantly in my mind going back to my number one motivator, which was I want to feel good in my skin.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's what it was.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yes, it's awesome if I can be confident at the beach in a bikini.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's like those are all great things.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like I can wear certain clothes that maybe I didn't get to wear before.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like that it was fun, it was exciting, but like that wasn't my main motivator.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: My main motivator to really change my life was the fact that my mental health was super fucking debilitating.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I knew that it was like this, and without knowing anything about, you know, body-mind connection, by the way, at this time, I didn't know anything.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: I just felt it in my bones.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I know that I feel shitty, I kind of look shitty, and it's has to like it's like a it's a crazy loop that's not ending, and I really want to get out of this loop.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's kind of like how I went about it, and that was my motivator when when times got hard.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: But but I'm thinking about this story and just going back to the fact that, you know, just like I was so eager and so willing to join a company like It Works and sell skinny wraps, like that literally was the main product was skinny wraps.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, I I didn't know better, and I was at such a vulnerable position in my life that I thought, you know what, I just want to do the quick and easy thing.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to face anything hard.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: Hard is scary, hard is new, I don't know hard, and I don't do well at hard because you know, I don't I don't do well at new things because none of us do well at new things.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's it's new, but for a reason, right?
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: You can't just say, I'm gonna learn, you know, Italian and then like expect yourself to know how to speak Italian the next week.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's just not how it works.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so I had to face that truth, realize that I just wasted eight months of my life selling this dumb product that didn't do anything for me and you know definitely wasn't working, and that I was gonna have to do something more challenging.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: And so I took the necessary steps to hire a coach and you know go through that process and really take it seriously because I invested my money and I wanted to learn and I wanted to actually change, and I had that motivation inside of me of I don't want to feel crappy anymore.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: So, all of this to say, when you are faced with a decision in your life, especially when it comes to change, and you say, I want to change my mindset around this one thing, we have to understand a couple of things here.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: The first, we need to have a deep rooted reason why staying the same is unacceptable.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: You have to come up with that.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: Staying the same is unacceptable.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I have to do something different.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's the first thing.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: The second thing is that we have to understand that doing new things and changing our mindset, whether that's in your fitness journey or whatever, changing, maybe starting a new job or whatever.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: If I'm going to do it, I have to understand that there's going to be things that are going to feel hard.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is this whole process is going to feel hard.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: This whole process is going to be new.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I have to know that I'm not always going to be good doing new things.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, that's what I had to learn, right?
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what we have to accept.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: Whenever we're trying to change, we need to accept that what we're facing is scary because we don't know it.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: Even though it's scary, and even though it's going to be a little challenging, and even though the unknown can be a scary place to be, what I want to get away from is more important.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Who I want to become is most important.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to get away from being an anxious person who just, you know, binge drink every weekend and ate crappy food and then complained about my skin breaking out or complained about not having the body of my life.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like I wanted to get away from that, and I wanted to become something which was so much more important than anything I could have been running away from.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to become a person that was confident in my skin, that was confident in my body, and finally was feeling the way that I wanted to feel.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: So I hope this gave you a little bit of, you know, insight as to what it looks like to actually change your mindset.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: And you could apply this to absolutely anything.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: Anytime you want to change your mindset, anytime you, you know, are presented with two different options, and one's super easy, and you know it's probably not going to make any big of a difference, and the other is unknown, it's scary, it's kind of like, uh shit, this is not really where I want to be doing, but I also know it probably really will make a difference.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, take take this all in and ask yourself like, who is it that I want to become?
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: So that's it.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's all.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: If you are interested in learning how to change your mindset, but actually understanding how the mind works, please join us in our 10-week course, Healing with Purpose.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, this course is designed to walk you through the stages of healing so that you are no longer distracted by all of these issues, like gut issues or stress or anxiety, and allow this space to come within you to receive enlightened information and really remember who you are, because when you remember who you are, you remember why you're here.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: And that is what your purpose is.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: That is living your dharma, that is becoming the person that you are meant to be.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: So if you are interested in learning how to do that, you want to walk through the stages.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: I have an awesome staff of coaches who are accompanying me in teaching this course, um, including functional doctors and Ayurvedic wellness educators and human design readers, yoga experts.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's just so amazing.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: And um, so I definitely welcome you to join.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: You can go to my Instagram, I am Kenya Marie underscore, and the link is right there in my bio.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: So thanks so much.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'll see you next time.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: To continue your healing journey, join me in my 10-week course, Healing with Purpose.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: This all-encompassing course is comprised of teachers, healers, and holistic practitioners who teach you how to find your purpose in life by walking you through the stages of healing.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: By the end of the 10 weeks, you will have a deeper understanding of who you are and what your purpose is, and the tools and resources to heal your body and manage your mind.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: To apply for our course, click the link in my bio.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: I am Kenya Marie underscore, and we'll see you in there.